(Clip) Testimony of Being Filled with the Holy Spirit

You condemn yourself. Oh, I'm preaching so many things. It's not true. I finally got so fed up with my life way back nearly 50 years ago. I said, Lord, I'm not gonna preach anymore because I'm a first-class hypocrite. I'm preaching and singing things which are not true in my life. I don't want to fool anybody anymore, sitting up there in front and or standing up in front and acting like a holy man when I'm not. I won't give up being a Christian. I love Jesus. I know he died for me. I know he's the only way of salvation. But I'll sit at the back of some church and never preach again. I really said that to the Lord, unless Lord you do something for me. Make, only one thing, I don't want the gift of healing or even preaching nothing. Make my inner life correspond with what I'm singing and saying. That's all. I don't ask for anything else. Make my inner life correspond with what I'm saying I believe. With my testimony, with the songs I sing. That's all I ask you, Lord. And I was at rock bottom. I prayed like that and nothing seemed to happen. I'll tell you this, sometimes it can be so discouraging when you pray and pray and there doesn't seem to be an answer to it and you go down and down and down and down and on. And I was at rock bottom in my backsliding and there one day when I least expected it, God met with me and filled me with the Holy Spirit all of a sudden and began a life in me. Of course, he has a post script. He also gave me a little finger called the gift of tongues. Only this size. It wasn't 12 feet long like in some churches. A little gift of tongues. That was not the main thing. The main thing is something began to change in my life. And I said, Lord, if this is the real fullness of the Holy Spirit, when I read the New Testament now, it should become a new book because the Holy Spirit wrote it. I should see things in it that I have not understood or seen in the last 16 years that I've studied it. I'd studied the Bible thoroughly from 1959 to 1975, 16 years. But I believe you'll show me and I'll tell you this, from that time when God met with me and filled me in the Holy Spirit and I believe in continuously being filled to the Holy Spirit, not just once for all experience. I've seen some of the most amazing truths in Scripture that I never knew before about overcoming sin, about spiritual maturity, about building the church and overcoming Satan. I never knew before that, for example, what it was to cast out a demon. But since that day, no demon could stand before me. If there was a demon in a person, he'd go at the name of Jesus. But I never knew these things before. I really knew that Satan was being defeated. The kingdom of God has come. Jesus once said, if I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come. You remember that verse? If I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, the kingdom of God has come. And it really came. It became real in my life. It was not just verses in Scripture. It was not just verses to memorize. It became real in my life. And boy, was I encouraged. The Bible became a new book and I found so many things. And it was not a sudden going up to the top of the mountain. The graph slowly began to move upwards. And it is not a perfectly straight line. I want to say that also for your encouragement. There were little dips in it, but not such huge dips like before. Small little dips, but the dips were on a graph that was going upwards. That's the encouraging thing. I was going upwards, but there were small, small dips and I was going up and up and up and up. And the dips became less frequent. It's a wonderful life. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling a fairy tale. This is really my testimony. And the most important thing the Lord showed me was, I allowed you to go to the depth of defeat to teach you that I do not give the Holy Spirit to those who think they deserve Him, but to the most undeserving. And at the time when they deserve Him the least. That cured me of ever thinking that the Holy Spirit is something you work for and get. You know how the entire religious world thinks they have to work for forgiveness of sins? Back in India, there are people who roll on the ground to get forgiveness of sins, who go and dip themselves in rivers. There are many people in many religions who light candles and pray to Mary and so many other gods to get forgiveness. What all they do to forgive forgiveness of sins? They give hundreds of thousands of dollars to get forgiveness of sins or rupees in India. No. How did you get forgiveness of sins? How many rupees did you pay? How many dollars did you pay to get forgiveness of sins? How many times did you roll on the ground to get forgiveness of sins? We look at all those people and say, boy, I wish they could understand. You don't have to roll on the ground, brother. You don't have to dip in a river. It's free. You mean it's free? Yes, it's free. What about an undeserving wretch like me? You are the most qualified if you're an undeserving wretch. Are you the chief of sinners? Aha, Christ died for you, man. Come right and get and how long will it take me to get this forgiveness of sins? Do I have to wait six months or something? No, it's immediate. The birth process in the kingdom of God, I mean there may be a lot of preparation for it like in the mother's womb a baby is formed, but the birth itself is a moment. That's how new birth is. There may be a lot of preparation for it of repentance, but you're born again. It's a moment and it's not for those who are deserving. No, I certainly didn't deserve it. No, far from it. I mean if God picked on the basis of merit, he'd have picked a lot of other people before me, lots of other people. It's not on merit that I got my forgiveness of sins. That's why I can be bold to say that and it's not on my merit that I got filled with the Holy Spirit. God showed and if he had God had filled me the Holy Spirit, I mean I was not backsliding and I was living a pretty good life. I might have thought it's because I've been so faithful. God filled me with the Holy Spirit. Thank God he filled me at a time when I was utterly, utterly defeated to show me that the Holy Spirit is given not to those who deserve him, but to those who need him desperately. Oh boy, I needed him desperately that day. I say that for your encouragement because some of you though you hear this so often you still live under the illusion that I have to pray some more, I have to fast some more, I've got to do something more. No, sir. No, sister. You have to yield everything and be honest about your defeated life and believe that God is true when he says something in his book. If you don't believe he can't do anything, without faith it is impossible to please him. You can have everything else in your life but you don't have faith. It is impossible to please him. So