Flattering (2850) (kolakeia from kolax = a fawner) refers to cajolery which is an attempt to persuade by use of insincere speech or exaggerated praise. Kolakeia was a well-known secular Greek term for a practice despised as much as "boldness" was valued, and which is occasionally connected with financial gain. Flattery was a well-known, much despised practice in Paul's day. Kolakeia contains the idea of deception for selfish ends. It is flattery not merely for the sake of giving pleasure to others but for the sake of self interest. It is deception by "slick" eloquence (sounds like many politicians we know doesn't it?) with the idea of winning over the listener's heart in order to exploit not edify. Hiebert writes that... Flattery does not simply mean complimentary words intended to tickle the ears of the hearers pleasurably. It is rather the smooth-tongued discourse of the orator aimed at making a favorable impression that would gain influence over others for selfish advantage...Paul denies that he and his fellow workers had used the preaching of the gospel as a foil for securing selfish advantage. That such a charge could easily he given a ring of plausibility is clear from the known conduct of the heathen rhetoricians of the day. Nor was the early church exempt from this evil. Barclay reminds us that the early Christian churches were plagued with "people who did attempt to cash in on their Christianity" (Hiebert, D. Edmond: 1 & 2 Thessalonians: BMH Book. 1996) Lightfoot writes that... Kolakeia, a word which occurs here only in the New Testament, is defined both by Theophrastus ... and Aristotle ... to involve the idea of selfish motives. It is flattery not merely for the sake of giving pleasure to others but for the sake of self-interest" Moulton and Milligan write that kolakeia... carries with it the idea of the tortuous methods by which one man seeks to gain influence over another, generally for his own ends, and when we keep in view the selfish conduct of too many of the heathen rhetoricians of the day...we can easily understand how such a charge might come to be laid against the Apostles. (Moulton, J. H., & Milligan, G.. The Vocabulary of the Greek Testament. London: Hodder and Stoughton. 1930). ISBE writes that... The term “flattery” as used by the RSV is always associated with deception. Green writes that... The ancients recognized that flattery was evidence of the bad character of the person who used it to persuade or move others to action. It was a way to gain the favor of someone, equal to the way one could gain another’s favor through giving gifts or entertaining the person one wished to influence. Plato advised that one should shun any kind of flatterer, while sometime later Plutarch stated that a flatterer corrupts the morals of the young and only pretends to be a friend. Dio Chrysostom warned that flattery was a characteristic of charlatans and sophists. Plutarch was so concerned about flatterers that he wrote a whole treatise about how to distinguish between them and true friends. As communicators of the truth of God and as those who sincerely cared for the well-being of their hearers, the apostles never flattered their audience in an attempt to gain something for themselves. The Thessalonians knew this well. (Green, G. L. The letters to the Thessalonians. The Pillar New Testament Commentary. Grand Rapids, Mich.; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos) Richison writes that... Flattery operates under ulterior motives. Flattery misleads people by making them think you believe in them more than you do. This is the sin of smooth words. Putting people off—guard by smooth words is lying. (1 Thes 2:5 1 Thes 2:5b) The flatterer compliments you merely as a ploy to win your favor or to gain power over you. A flatterer is a man that tells you your opinion and not his own. On the other hand, the smaller we become, the more room God has to work. Wiersbe writes that... a flatterer is a person who manipulates rather than communicates. A flatterer can use either truth or lies to achieve his unholy purpose, which is to control your decisions for his own profit. Some people even flatter themselves. “For he flatters himself in his own eyes” (Ps. 36:2). This was the sin of Haman, that evil man in the Book of Esther. He was so interested in flattering himself that he even plotted to slaughter all the Jews to achieve that goal. Some people try to flatter God. “Nevertheless they [Israel] did flatter Him [God] with their mouth, and they lied unto Him with their tongues” (Ps. 78:36). Flattery is another form of lying. It means saying one thing to God with our lips while our hearts are far from Him (Mark 7:6). Some Christians try to win friends and influence people by appealing to their egos. A true ministry of the Gospel deals honestly (but lovingly) with sin and judgment and leaves the unbeliever with nothing to boast of in himself. (Wiersbe, W: Bible Exposition Commentary. 1989. Victor or Logos) Flatterers look like friends just as wolves resemble dogs. Treachery lurks in honeyed words — Danish proverb Aristotle distinguished between friends and flatterers writing The man who always joins in the pleasures of his companions, if he sets out to be pleasant for no ulterior motive, is Obsequious (marked by or exhibiting a fawning or excessive attentiveness); if he does so for the sake of getting something by it in the shape of money or money’s worth, he is a Flatterer. Eupolis explains what a flatterer’s might say... And when I catch sight of a man who is rich and thick, I at once get my hooks into him. If this moneybags happens to say anything, I praise him vehemently and express my amazement, pretending to find delight in his words. Flattery is like soft soap…90 percent lye. Only two groups of people fall for flattery—men and women. A man’s body is remarkably sensitive. Pat him on the back and his head swells. We do not hate flattery, any one of us — we all like it. —C. H. Spurgeon Flattery corrupts both the receiver and the giver.—Edmund Burke The Psalms speak of flattery... There is nothing reliable in what they say. Their inward part is destruction itself. Their throat is an open grave; They flatter with their tongue. (Psalm 5:9) They speak falsehood to one another; With flattering lips and with a double heart they speak. May the LORD cut off all flattering lips, The tongue that speaks great things (Psalm 12:2-3) A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps. (Proverbs 29:5) Gossip is saying behind a person’s back what you would never say to his or her face; flattery is saying to a person’s face what you would never say behind his or her back. The Scriptures warn us repeatedly against flatterers, for they are destructive people who carry a legion of unwholesome motives. Flattery - The aquatic creature called the blowfish has no particular value to the one who catches it—except that it may help to develop the angler's patience because it often seizes bait intended for better fish. The blowfish is unattractive; it has a large mouth and a wrinkled body that looks like worn-out leather. When you turn it over and tickle it, the flabby fish puffs up until it is swollen like a globe. People can be like that. A little flattery, a little tickling of their vanity and they swell up, giving the semblance of greatness. Pride inflates them, and they puff up like the blowfish. But there's nothing substantial about them; they are all air. Francois Fenelon was the court preacher for King Louis XIV of France in the 17th century. One Sunday when the king and his attendants arrived at the chapel for the regular service, no one else was there but the preacher. King Louis demanded, “What does this mean?” Fenelon replied, “I had published that you would not come to church today, in order that your Majesty might see who serves God in truth and who flatters the king.” C H Spurgeon wrote... Praise is a thing we all love. I met with a man the other day who said he was impervious to flattery; I was walking with him at the time, and turning round rather sharply, I said, “At any rate, sir, you seem to have a high gift in flattering yourself, for you are really doing so, in saying you are impervious to flattery.” “You cannot flatter me,” he said. I replied, “I can, if I like to try; and perhaps may do so before the day is out.” I found I could not flatter him directly, so I began by saying what a fine child that was of his; and he drank it in as a precious draught; and when I praised this thing and that thing belonging to him, I could see that he was very easily flattered; not directly, but indirectly. We are all pervious to flattery; we like the soothing cordial, only it must not be labeled flattery; for we have a religious abhorrence of flattery if it be so called; call it by any other name, and we drink it in, even as the ox drinketh in water. Men seldom flatter without a purpose; and they who listen to such music may expect to pay the piper. — Aesop Rogers has this note on kolakeia... Dio Chrysostom explains in a speech before the Emperor Trajan (of whom he says, “you delight in truth and frankness [aletheia kai parrhesia] rather than flattery and guile,” The Third Discourse, 2), “... even those flatterers who openly follow the business acknowledge that to play the flatterer is of all things most distasteful” (The Third Discourse, 16); then he adds, “Furthermore, flattery seems neither reputable nor honorable even when practiced to gain distinction, or from some other worthy motive. Nay, of all vices, I may say, flattery will be found to be the meanest” (aichisten) (The Third Discourse, 17). (Rogers, C L - originally by Fritz Rienecker: New Linguistic and Exegetical Key to the Greek New Testament. Zondervan. 1998) McGee writes that... Flattery disarms us—we really never know what to say. When people criticize me, I know what to say, but I never know what to say when someone flatters me. It disarms a person... Paul never used flattery. There is a group of wealthy laymen across this country who are literally owned by the people who flatter them. If a Christian work or program doesn’t butter them up, they are not the least bit interested in helping that program financially. God pity the church or the work that must depend on men who require flattery and compliments before they will give their support to the work. I think this is one of the curses in the Christian church today. (McGee, J V: Thru the Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson or Logos) F B Meyer wrote about how tempting it is to flatter others... When, by the grace of God, we have been delivered from grosser forms of sin, we are still liable to the subtle working of self, in our holiest and loveliest hours. It poisons our motive. It breathes decay on our fairest fruit-bearing. It whispers seductive flatteries into our pleased ears. It turns the spirit from its holy purpose, as the masses of iron on ocean steamers deflect the needle of the compass from the pole. So long as there is some thought of personal advantage, some idea of acquiring the praise and commendation of men, some aim at self-aggrandizement, it will be simply impossible to find out God's purpose concerning us. The door must be resolutely shut against all this, if we would hear the still small voice. All cross-lights must be excluded, if we would see the Urim and Thummim stone brighten with God's "Yes," or darken with His "No." Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the single eye, and to inspire in your heart one aim alone; that which animated our Lord, and enabled Him to cry, as He reviewed His life, "I have glorified Thee on the earth." Let this be the watchword of our lives, "Glory to God in the highest." Then our "whole body shall be full of light, having no part dark, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give light." (F. B. Meyer. Christian Living) As you know (Paul repeatedly appeals to the reader's knowledge of the truthfulness of his words --1Th 1:5, 2:1, 2, 5, 11, 4:2-see notes 1Th 1:5; 2:1, 2:2, 2:5, 2:11; 4:2) - Paul permits the facts to speak for themselves. He appeals to the Thessalonians' memory (1Th 1:5-note), which should allow them to testify regarding the fact that the missionaries' did not flatter nor exhibit a cloak of greed.