" The secret things belong unto the Lord our God." Deui. xxlx. 29.O God, my God, these aching thoughts control. Still the deep restless yearnings of my soul, '
In endless mazes of conjecture lost, Bewildered, baffled, wearied, tempest-tost, Striving in vain those clouds to penetrate, Which hide my future, my eternal state.
Check these tumultuous thoughts, so strong, so wild ; ~ Let me not be by Satan’s snares beguiled ; The things revealed alone belong to man ; Why strive deep hidden mysteries to scan? “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;’' Lord ! as a little child I fain would be.
My restless soul ! what do those thoughts avail ? Why strive to pierce the impenetrable veil? Alas ! thy faith amounts not yet to sight ! How should the finite grasp the infinite ? How should an atom on this earthly ball Search out the great First Cause. God over all?
“Just as I am” will doubtlessly be sung to the end of time, and as often as Christians sing it they will praise God and bless the memory of the woman who wrote it—Charlotte Elliott.
This hymn will have a greater value, too, when we know something of the pain and effort that it cost the writer to produce it. Miss Elliott was one of those afflicted souls who scarcely know what surcease from suffering is. Though she lived to be eighty-two years old, she was never well, and often endured seasons of great physical distress. She could well understand the sacrifice made by one who
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Strikes the strings With fingers that ache and bleed. |
Of her own afflictions she once wrote: “He knows, and He alone, what it is, day after day, hour after hour, to fight against bodily feelings of almost overpowering weakness, languor and exhaustion, to resolve not to yield to slothfulness, depression and instability, such as the body causes me to long to indulge, but to rise every morning determined to take for my motto: ‘If a man will come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.’”
But God seemed to have had a purpose in placing a heavy cross upon her. Her very afflictions made her think of other sufferers like herself and made her the better fitted for the work that He had prepared for her—the ministry of comfort and consolation. How beautifully she resigned herself to the will of God may be seen in her words: “God sees, 276God guides, God guards me. His grace surrounds me, and His voice continually bids me to be happy and holy in His service, just where I am.”
“Just as I am” was written in 1836, and appeared for the first time in the second edition of “The Invalid’s Hymn Book,” which was published that year and to which Miss Elliott had contributed 115 pieces.
The great American evangelist, Dwight L. Moody, once said that this hymn had probably touched more hearts and brought more souls to Christ than any other ever written. Miss Elliott’s own brother, who was a minister in the Church of England, himself wrote:
“In the course of a long ministry, I hope to have been permitted to see some fruit of my labors; but I feel far more has been done by a single hymn of my sister’s.”
It is said that after the death of Miss Elliott, more than a thousand letters were found among her papers, in which the writers expressed their gratitude to her for the help the hymn had brought them.
The secret power of this marvelous hymn must be found in its true evangelical spirit. It sets forth in very simple but gripping words the all-important truth that we are not saved through any merit or worthiness in ourselves, but by the sovereign grace of God through faith in Jesus Christ. It also pictures the utter helplessness and wretchedness of the human soul, and its inability to rise above its own sins; but very lovingly it invites the soul to come to Him “whose blood can cleanse each spot.”
The hymn was born out of the author’s personal spiritual experiences. Though a daughter of the Church, brought up in a pious home, it seems that Miss Elliott had never found true peace with God. Like so many other seeking souls in 277all ages, she felt that men must do something themselves to win salvation, instead of coming to Christ as helpless sinners and finding complete redemption in Him.
When Dr. Caesar Malan, the noted Swiss preacher of Geneva, came to visit the Elliott home in Brighton, England, in 1822, he soon discovered the cause of her spiritual perplexity, and became a real evangelical guide and counsellor. “You have nothing of merit to bring to God,” he told her. “You must come just as you are, a sinner, to the Lamb of God that taketh away the sin of the world.”
Throughout the remainder of her life, Miss Elliott celebrated every year the day on which her friend had led her to Christ, for she considered it to be her spiritual birthday. Although it was fourteen years later that she wrote her immortal hymn, it is apparent that she never forgot the words of Dr. Malan, for they form the very core and essence of it. The inspiration for the hymn came one day when the frail invalid had been left alone at the home of her brother. She was lying on a couch and pondering on the words spoken by Dr. Malan many years before, when suddenly the whole glorious truth of salvation as the free gift of God flashed upon her soul. Then came the heavenly gift. Rising from her couch, she wrote:
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Just as I am, without one plea, But that Thy blood was shed for me, And that Thou bidd’st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come! |
Miss Elliott was the author of some 150 hymns. Perhaps her finest, aside from her great masterpiece, is “My God, my Father, while I stray.” By common consent, Miss Elliott is given first place among English women hymn-writers.
From the book 'Story of Our Hymns'Christian! seek not yet repose, Hear thy guardian angel say; Thou art in the midst of foes; “Watch and pray.”
Principalities and powers, Mustering their unseen array, Wait for thy unguarded hours; “Watch and pray.”
Gird thy heavenly armor on, Wear it ever night and day; Ambushed lies the evil one; “Watch and pray.”
Hear the victors who o’ercame; Still they mark each warrior’s way; All with one clear voice exclaim, “Watch and pray.”
Hear, above all, hear thy Lord, Him thou lovest to obey; Hide within thy heart His Word, “Watch and pray.”
Watch, as if on that alone Hung the issue of the day; Pray that help may be sent down; “Watch and pray.”
My God, is any hour so sweet From blush of morn to evening star, As that which calls me to Thy feet— The hour of prayer?
Blest is that tranquil hour of morn, And blest that hour of solemn eve, When, on the wings of prayer upborne, The world I leave.
Then is my strength by Thee renewed; Then are my sins by Thee forgiv’n; Then dost Thou cheer my solitude With hopes of Heav’n.
No words can tell what sweet relief There for my every want I find, What strength for warfare, balm for grief, What peace of mind.
Hushed is each doubt, gone ev’ry fear; My spirit seems in Heav’n to stay; And e’en the penitential tear Is wiped away.
Lord, till I reach yon blissful shore, No privilege so dear shall be As thus my inmost soul to pour In prayer to Thee.
Blessed with this fellowship divine, Take what Thou wilt, I’ll ne’er repine; E’en as the branches to the vine, My soul would cling to Thee.
Far from her home, fatigued, oppressed, Here she has found her place of rest An exile still, yet not unblest, While she can cling to Thee.
What though the world deceitful prove, And earthly friends and joys remove, With patient, uncomplaining love Still would I cling to Thee.
Though faith and hope may long be tried, I ask not, need not aught beside; How safe, how calm, how satisfied, The souls that cling to Thee!
Blessed is my lot, whate’er befall; What can disturb me, who appall, While as my Strength, my Rock, my All, All, Savior, I cling to Thee!
My soul followeth hard after Thee."— Psa/m Ixiii 8.I LOOK to Thee ! I hope in Thee !
I glory in Thy name ! I make Thy righteousness my plea,
Thou all-atoning Lamb ! Methinks e’en death yfiW welcome be, That I, through death, may pass to Thee.
Though now but " darkly through a glass "
Thy beauty I behold, E’en the faint image I can trace
Fills me with joy untold; May I but catch one glimpse of Thee, None, none beside I ask to see.
" Thou art my portion,” saith’ my soul.
My all in earth or heaven ; None but Thyself can make me whole,
No name but Thine is given At which the gates of pearl fly wide — The passport of the justified.
I know Thy voice — I strive to keep
Thy Word within my heart; Though the most worthless of Thy sheep,
Still Thou my Shepherd art; Firm as a rock that word shall stand, None, none shall pluck me from Thy hand.
“Without repentance are Thy gifts;” This thought my hope sustains.
In deep distress my soul uplifts, When sin the victory gains ;
My faith, though weak, shall never fail ;
Thy prayer shall e’en for me prevail.
When I Thy glory shall behold,
And see Thee face to face, Sheltered in Thy celestial fold,
“A sinner saved by grace,” What will it be Thy love to adore, Assured I shall " go out no more ?"
'Blessed is he whom the Lord, when He Cometh, shall find watching,'Thou for whom we look, now aid me
Still to watch, and trim my light ! Thou in white robes hast arrayed me,
I must watch to keep them white ; Cold without, rough winds are blowing,
And within the air falls damp ; Still amid the darkness glowing.
Bright must shine my bridal lamp.
Thy free grace. Thy love unbounded.
Chose, and bade me waiting stand. Till the glad call should be sounded,
" Lo ! the Bridegroom is at hand ! " Though the time seems long and dreary,
And the watch is hard to keep. Still, though faint and weak and weary,
Lord ! permit me not to sleep. Let me, watch for Thine appearing,
Till the bridal pomp I hail ; Till, night’s mists and shadows clearing.
Streaming o’er the illumined vale I discern the rising splendour,
Catch from far their sweet acclaim, Whose unnumbered voices render
Praise and glory to Thy name !
Then, to swell the grand procession, May we haste without a fear !
While, enriched by our accession, Sweeter anthems greet Thine ear.
Then may my white robe be stainless- May my lamp shed light around !
E’en without a spot and blameless, May I at that hour be found !
Then the bride, indeed " made ready,''
Shall be brought with joy untold ; Now no more defiled or needy.
But in raiment of wrought gold. For this hour the whole creation
Groaned and travailed, as in birth — Now the glorious consummation
Fills with joy new heavens and earth.
Spirit of truth, of power, of love.Who mak’st the contrite heart Thy seat. The Father’s promise from above,
Blest Paraclete !
The gift by Christ sent down from heaven
To cheer His flock, then tempest-tost, The abundant compensation given
For Him they lost;
Spirit! the Church’s Comforter,
With whom Thou deignest to abide, Light, strength, and teaching to confer. Our steps to guide :
Spirit of Jesus ! one with Him,
And with the eternal Father one ! Remove the veil that renders dim
That glorious Sun.
Oh manifest Thy power anew !
Reveal His love, His truths divine ! Till in Thy light those truths we view, In vain they shine.
" Spirit of glory and of Christ ! "
Now lead us at His feet to fall; Show us His ransom has sufficed;
Make Him our all !
For thee, poor widowed heart, In vain sweet spring returns ; The charm of vernal songs and flowers, The joys reviving nature showers. Touch not the heart that mourns ; Or touch it so, As wakes fresh woe For one all darkly laid, this blooming earth below !Yet, still, poor widowed heart, Though desolate and sad, The thought — thy mourned one ne’er can know Thine own unutterable woe — Almost might make thee glad ! The blest deplore Earth’s griefs no more; And though thy joys are fled, thy loved one’s tears are o’er.
Poor broken, widowed heart. To God disclose thy pain ! Earth yields no cure ; but Heaven has given A balm for hearts bereft and riven, A balm ne’er tried in vain : That volume bright, Where beams of light Illume the Eternal Words, reveals it to thy sight.
Why should I fear to die?In that sweet home above Are gathering all my family, And all the friends I love; Heavenward I look, and breathe the prayer. Soon, soon their happiness to share.
Surely ’tis time to die !
My " threescore years and ten " Are overpast, and oft I cry,
" How long, my Lord? Oh! when Wilt Thou my ransomed spirit free. And bid Thy child come home to Thee?"
Then, Saviour, let me die !
My sweetest moments here Are those when, deigning to draw nigh. Thou whisperest, " I am near." And e’en from these bright glimpses given I feel Thy presence must be heaven.
Oh ! when I come to die.
These glories let me see. Ne’er grasped by human thought or eye, Reserved in heaven by Thee ; And show me, ‘mid the parting strife. That death is better far than life !
It tells me of a place of rest; It tells me where my soul may flee: O to the weary, faint, oppressed, How sweet the bidding, “Come to Me.”
When the poor heart with anguish learns That earthly props resigned must be, And from each broken cistern turns, It hears the accents, “Come to Me.”
When against sin I strive in vain, And cannot from its yoke get free, Sinking beneath the heavy chain, The words arrest me, “Come to Me.”
When nature shudders, loath to part From all I love, enjoy, and see; When a faint chill steals o’er my heart, A sweet voice utters, “Come to Me.”
“Come, for all else must fall and die; Earth is no resting-place for thee; Heavenward direct thy weeping eye, I am thy Portion; come to Me.”
O voice of mercy! voice of love! In conflict, grief, and agony, Support me, cheer me from above, And gently whisper, “Come to Me.”
CHARLOTTE Elliott, the gifted writer of the well-known Hymn " Just as I am," was bom 18th March, 1789;, and died September 22nd, 1871. She was the third daughter of the late Charles Elliott, Esq., of Clapham and Brighton. During many years her parents formed the centre of a very interesting religious circle at both those places. Her uncle, the Rev. John Venn, was rector of Clapham; and her mother, Mrs. Elliott, was the eldest daughter of the Rev. Henry Venn, of Hud- dersfield and Yelling, one 61 the leaders of the religious awakening in the last . century, and to her, as Eling Venn, are addressed many of the letters that appear in the published memoir of his life. Her two brothers, the late Rev. H. V. Elliott, of St. Mary's, Brighton, and the Rev. E. B. Elliott, author of the "Horae Apocalypticae," are well known by their characters and their works.
From early years she was more or less an in- valid, and consequently her life was one of much seclusion, offering but few incidents and little variety. Her life was a hidden one. She always rallied during the summer months, and was able to pay visits to friends at a distance, who loved and valued her society, and appreciated the charm of her conversation and her brilliant imagination.
Amongst those whose friendship she specially enjoyed, I must mention the Cunningham family, at Harrow; our cousin, Mrs. Batten, who was a Venn ; Bishop Shirley ; and the Moneys, who were specially beloved. Visits to these friends always brightened the ordinary monotony of her life ; and the zest with which she entered into the beauties of scenery and the charms of intel- lectual society, will never be forgotten by those who knew her.
Naturally she had a strong will, but this be- came gradually subdued, as her religious princi- ples deepened. Her temperament was eminently poetical ; and her tender sympathy in every joy or sorrow of those whom she loved is fully testified in many of her letters and poems.
She was always exceedingly fond of music, with a very fine and delicate ear ; and it was only the continual interruption of ill health that prevented the successful development of this talentj as well as the kindred accomplishment of drawing, for which she showed much taste and aptitude. In younger years her voice blended sweetly with the family choir, and to the close of life her enjoyment of music was exquisite. Such tastes as these, combined witli her unusual powers of conversation, her high intellectual capacity, and, her zest for every interesting subject, made h^r companionship very deUghtful and highly valued.
There was a period, before my father's final Temoval from- Clapham to Brighton, when her remarkable talents and accomplishments made her a welcome guest in circles where she met some of the most brilliant wits and writers of the day. To one of her temperament such society as this had an almost irresistible fascination. But there was an absence of religion, if not hostihty to it, in many of, those with whom she was thus brought into connection, so as to endanger that higher spiritual life, of which even then she was conscious. But He who had loved her with an everlasting love, and who well ki'ew how perilous a snare this would prove to her, was pleased to lay her on a bed of sickness, and thus to withdraw her from the scene of danger and temptation. This was, I think, in the year 1821.
Then followed a period of much seclusion and bodily distress, from the continuance of feeble health. Her views, too, became clouded and con- fused, through an introduction to religious contro- versy, and the disturbing influence of various teachers, who held inadequate notions of the efficacy of Divine grace. She became deeply conscious of the evil in her own heart, and having not yet fully realised the fulness and freeness of the grace of God in the Lord Jesus Christ, she suffered much mental distress, under the painful uncertainty whether it were possible that such an one as she felt herself to be could be saved.
At this conjuncture it pleased God graciously to provide for her a spiritual teacher fully adapted to her necessities. It was an era in her life never to be forgotten. On the 9th of May, 1822, she was for the first time introduced to Dr. Csesar Malan, of Geneva, in her father's residence. Grove House, Clapham, through the kind intervention of Miss Waddington, afterwards the wife of Bishop Shirley. From that time, for forty years, his con- stant correspondence was justly esteemed the greatest blessing of her life. The anniversary of that memorable date was always kept as a festal day ; and on that day, so long as Dr. Malan lived, commemorative letters passed from the one to the other, as upon the birthday of her soul to true spiritual life and peace. The tenor of these com- munications may be justly estimated from a letter written about a fortnight after their first interview, of which the following is a translation : —
Manchester : May \%th, 1822.
" Very dear Friends,
"Since the Lord our God, our Saviour and our Father, has deigned to make me ' find favour in your eyes,' and since the word of His minister has been agreeable and precious to you, I can in peace and confidence continue to discuss with you those things which belong to our eternal salvation.
" The love of the Lord is over all His works : His compassion is higher than the heavens. He forgets not any of His promises. He is faithful. We do not believe it, dear friends;' our hearts can neither imagine nor admit the love which God bears us, unless they have been changed, renewed, turned again unto the Lord by the powerful grace of God. Even in the Christian world, amongst those who speak most freely of religion, the sentiment least found, and most seldom seen, is the simple, sincere consciousness of the love of God. One may converse for hours on the Gospel, or Church business; or discourse with learning and spiri- tuality on some high doctrine, or question of morals, and- thus may have it said, nay, even persuade ourselves, that there has been much edification in such and such a visit, or social gathering, or public service; and, nevertheless, remain as far from the life of God as are the men of the world in their calculations and vain pursuits.
" Dear friends, one look, silent but continuous and faithful at the cross of Jesus, is better, is more efficacious than all beside. It, at least, connects us with eternity ; it is a look of life, aye, of life Divine. To say to oneself that the Lord loves us, that He is our Father, that He cherishes us, that He sees, follows, guides, guards us ; to believe, but to believe indeed, that Jesus is our friend each day, each hour ; that His grace surrounds us, that His voice continually bids us be happy and holy in Him ; to dwell, child-like, in the joy of that love, and to repeat to one's soul, ' O my soul, my soul, dwell thou in peace, and bless thy God : ' — all this which is life, and without which there is no life, either here below, or in the world above, is not the work of our own will ; it is the direct achievement of the merciful and freely given power of Him who is ' over all, God blessed for ever;' who is love, and who desires to be called and recognized as the Father of infinite compas- sion.
" But, dear, truly dear friends and sisters, in our vanity, in frivolous presumption, in foolish error, we may flatter ourselves that we live,'without this life ; that we are wise, though ignorant of this truth ; that we are content, happy, peaceful in the midst of our own agitation and in a path we try to trace in the quicksand of our glory, of the approbation of acquaintances, of our sciences, our lectures, our pleasures,^ etc. Then (and then very happily, Charlotte !) there is no more peace for an immortal soul thus deceived, bound, tenfold vanquished by the craft and seductions of Satan, of the world, of its own folly. For such a soul there are only bitter restlessness, long feebleness, tears, regrets, and continual sighings after a life it cannot attain, yet of which it feels the imperative need.
"But Jesus remains the same above this gloomy ignorance, this culpable wandering : Jesus wliose name is Saviour, Jesus who does not watch a wretched soul to condemn and destroy it, but to draw it to Himself, and to restore its life by par- doning all ; Jesus looks upon this soul, and the dear soul is astonished to feel once more, to find repentant tears, and hope of grace and pardon, and joys which it had thought never to know again. Jesus looks upon Peter, and Peter can at last say, ' Thou k?wwest that I love Thee.'
"Ah, well ! my very dear friends, since such a look has lighted on your beloved souls, since to- day you can say, ' We have found the Messiah,' and can rejoice in the light of His countenance, remain in that glorious possession while remaining single-minded, and only occupying yourselves, espe- cially during these early days, with this consecra- tion, with this joy : oh leave, I pray you in the name of your Redeemer, of your King who desires to reign over your whole heart, leave Martha's occupations, and be happy to sit tranquil at the feet of the Saviour, listening to what He has to tell you.
" Dear Eleanor, offer to Christ a sacrifice, a whole sacrifice,- — do not keep back any part of your heart. Dear Charlotte, cut the cable, it will take too long to unloose it; cut it, it is a small loss ; the wind blows and the ocean is before you — the Spirit of God, and eternity.
" Your brother and friend,
" C. Malan."
Dr. Malan, as a skilful spiritual physician, had carefully probed the wound, and led her to the true remedy for all her anxiety, — namely, simple faith in God's own Word, directing her attention to such passages as the following : " Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.'" And again : "God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."^ And again : ""He that hath the Son hath life."3 Whilst he thus showed her the fulness and freeness of this blessed Gospel, He also, with his own peculiar earnestness and tenderness, impressed upoff her the guilt of " making God a liar by refusing to be- lieve the record that He hath given of His Son."*
I Isa. Iv. i. ^ John iii. i6.
» I John V. 12. ' I John. v. lo.
The Spirit of God accompanied his teaching. The burden was lifted off that weary spirit ; and from that ever memorable day, my beloved sister's spiritual horizon became for the most part cloud- less. It is true that the suffering body would at times weigh down her soul to the dust ; but no doubt ever again assailed her. Her faith never was shaken. She might shrink from present suf- fering, or from unknown imagined terrors as to the circumstances of her dying hour. But all beyond was light and joy. Her constant testimony was : " I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have com- mitted unto Him against that day." '
Previous to the time of Dr. Malan's visit, my sister's reading had been very discursive. The noblest earlier writers in our own language, and especially our poets, were her unceasing delight. And all the best specimens of modern literature were devoured with avidity as they appeared. Dr. Malan at once perceived the spiritual danger of such pursuits, so eagerly followed, to one of her temperament. Under his advice, she threw aside for a time the authors that she had found most
^ 2 Tim, i. 12.
attractive, and confined herself to the exclusive study of Holy Scripture.
The result fully proved the wisdom of this advice. The blessed truths of the Bible laid hold on her mind irresistibly. She found there a more satisfying ,and elevating exercise for her thoughts, than in the highest efforts of human genius. The graphic power of the historical and biographical narratives, the dissection of character, the full development of Divine providence in all, created an interest in her mind that she had never equally experienced from the ordinary histories of man- kind. Then the drapery, too, the brilliant imagery, the word painting, the rich orientali»m of the poetry, and the colouring of the whole, so rich, and yet ever so true to nature, surpassed in her estimation all human compositions.' But, above all, she found the words of this holy Book speak with such power to her own soul, so accurately dissect her inmost thoughts, reveal to her so
1 I find these lines written in her own private Bible : " i?z^ dee^ in this precious golden mine, Toii, and its richest ore is thine ; Search, and the Saviour will lend His aid To draw its wealth f^om its mystic shade : Strive, and His Spirit will give thee light To work in this heavenly Tnitte aright. Pray without ceasing, in Him confide, ? Into all truth His light will guide."
clearly the dealings of God with herself, so fully set before her her own interest in the free grace of the blessed Saviour, that from that time forth to the end of life it was her principal study, her most delightful companion, and by day and by night her most unceasing meditation. She could say, as few others could, " The law of Thy mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver, sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb." And thus it was that she was prepared for that office which in later life devolved upon her for more than twenty-five years, the editing of the " Christian Remembrancer Pocket - Book ; " the daily texts for which were for so long, a time chosen by herself, and carefully arranged to illus- trate the particular series of spiritual subjects which in each year she thought fit to select.
From this time her poetical talents became con- secrated to religion ; and though she had in earlier jears composed humourous poems, which were much admired by competent judges, she willingly renounced the eclat which this style of writing secured, and counting those things but loss which once were gain, devoted all the efforts of her pen henceforward to one object — the glory of God, and the benefit of others.
During many succeeding years, the personal intercourse with Dr. Malan was not unfrequent. For although his home was in Geneva, he visited England from time to time, and never without renewing his converse with those to whom his ministry had been so singularly beneficial.
It pleased God also about this period (1823), that many family illnesses and bereavements occurred, which deeply affected my beloved sister, and gave occasion to some of her most beautiful poems which appear in " The Hours of Sorrow.''
During the autumn of the year 1823, an urgent invitation was received from Miss Waddington and her brother, asking my two sisters, with my brother Henry, to pay them a visit at St. Remy, in Normandy, their family estate. As the change was thought likely to benefit our dear invalid, arrangements were made at once for the journey to France, oar brother Henry, who was tenderly attached to her, becoming the escort. She greatly enjoyed the novelty of French society and cus- toms, and the foreign air agreed with her so well, that she felt equal to visit Paris before returning home. In November the travellers came back to Brighton, refreshed in mind and invigorated in bodily health.
During the following year, much occurred that was full of interest to my sister. A District Society was formed under the supervision of Mrs. Fry and the Rev. Edward Irving, who became our guests. Mrs. Fry was peculiarly attracted by my sister's character ; and a warm friendship from this time was formed between them, which lasted through life. In some respects they were kindred spirits, each having experienced trial, and its blessed and refining influences.
About this time, also, we had a circle of very superior and delightful friends, most of them visitors for a time at Brighton. I may mention amongst those most valued and loved, the Cun- ningham family, Mr. Levison Gower and family, Mr. Owen of the Bible Society, Archdeacon and Mrs. Hoare, Dr. Macneile, the Wilberforces, and the family, of Mr. and Mrs. Money. Though my sister was unable usually to join our family party when these guests were with us, she greatly enjoyed their converse in her own private room.
During the next three or four years, there does not occur to my memory much to record. Each winter was to her one of confinement and suf- fering ; and when summer weather arrived, visits were made in various directions. But her health gave way entirely in 1829, and she became too weak to leave her room. In the following summer, it was thought that travelling, and entire change of air and scene and medical treatment, might prove of the greatest .benefit. Arrange- ments were, therefore, made for her leaving home. She was so weak at the time that it was necessary to have her carried down-stairs and lifted into the caniage. A sister and a maid accompanied her, first into Devonshire, and then, in October, to Leamington, where she was at once placed in the hands of Dr. Jephson, a most skilful physician, and one who, from his discernment and intel- lectual character, was especially quahfied to be useful to my sister, acting upon her body, as she often said, through her mind and understanding.
There Ive remained till the following May, Dr. Jephson proving as successful a physician for the body as Dr. Malan had been for the soul. Very gradually from this time my sister's habits of life were greatly changed. At the cost of much daily self-denial, earlier hours were adopted, and a diet strictly according to rule, with gentle walking exercise. Her state of mind at this period is illustrated by the following letter (written after our father's death) :
Shirley : JVifz/. \-2tk, 1833.
" To-morrow is your birthday, my Eleanor, and it is the second passed by you in a state of suffering, and after a bereavement ?wiiich has made so affect- ing an alteration in our lives. I would, if it were possible, feel more tender sympathy and offer more earnest prayers on your behalf than I have ever done before, and infuse into these poor lines such balm and consolation as your own dear affection and sympathy have often dropped sweetly on my suffering heart.
"I would tell you also, my love, that though I did hope that your path would lie through a brighter and more flowery region than mine, yet even in the vale of suffering there are blessed companions to associate with— sweet consolations to partake of, heavenly privileges to enjoy. For myself, I am well content to tread it, and to remain in it, till my weary feet stand on the brink of Jordan.
' It costs me no regret that she Who followed Christ, should follow me ; And though, where'er she goes. Thorns spring spontaneous at her feet, / love her, and extract a sweet E'en from my bitterest woes.'
{Madame Guiotis "Address to Sorroxay)
But I have been many years learning this diffi- cult lesson, — and even now am but little skilled in this blessed alchemy.
"During the last few months, I humbly trust I have made some little progress, and oh ! that what I have been taught by my heavenly Physician might be of some benefit to a sister I so tenderly love ! Oh how many bitter tears have I shed for this cause, my Ellen; how many hard struggles and apparently fruitless ones, has it cost me to be- come resigned to this appointment of my heavenly Father ; but the struggle is over now. He knows, and He alone, what it is, day after day, hour after hour, to fight against bodily feelings of almost over- powering weakness and languor and exhaustion; to resolve, as He enables me to do, not to yield to the slothfulness and the self-indulgence, the de- pression, the irritability such a body causes me to long to indulge, — but to rise every morning, de- termined on taking this for my motto : ' Jf any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me;' and I trust He has made me willing to do this, and has also made the sorrows and sufferings of my earthly life the blessed means of detaching my heart from the love of it, and of giving me a longing, which seems each day to grow stronger, only to be made meet for my great change, to be sanctified wholly in body, soul, and spirit. And during these weeks and months of separation from my nearest friends, of seclusion and quietness, external and internal, much has been passing, my Ellen, between my soul and God,— such peace has been habitually granted to me, — such a sense of pardoning love, — such a bright hope that He has indeed chosen and accepted me, and is preparing me for His heavenly glory, refining and purifying me, that I shall ever remember this period as one of the happiest seasons of my life. The absence of agitation, and excitement, and bustle, the unbroken hours of reading and prayer, have been very helpful to me ; the very feeling of being a passing guest — an un- important and solitary person in the family — has been useful to me, and has led me to draw nearer to God as my only and all satisfying portion."
In 1834 we became acquainted with Miss Harriet Kieman, of Dublin, who came to England by medical advice, though, alas ! too late to arrest the progress of fatal consumption. She became our loved guest. before going to the Isle of Wight for the winter, and a most warm friendship was estab- lished from this time with our whole family, but more especially with our Charlotte. It was in compliance with her very earnest request, as a sort of dying legacy, that my sister undertook the editorship of the Christian Remembrancer Pocket- Book, which till this year had been in the hands of Miss Kiernan. During a period of twenty-five years, strength and ability were granted her to pre- pare annually the little volume, though few knew how much painful effort this editorship cost her. It was enriched by very careful selections from private mss. and letters, and by many of her own original poems, — so that the sale increased wonder- fully, and a considerable sum was in consequence sent yearly towards the funds of a charitable insti- tution in Dublin (founded by the Miss Kiernans). For my sister always considered as consecrated money any profits that might accrue from any of her printed volumes, and to the close of her life would never appropriate any portion of it to her own use.
It was in this year that Miss Kiernan, in her last illness, had prepared a hymn-book for invalids, but it was little known or inquired for. The Rev. Hugh White, an unknown personal friend, but a valued correspondent of my sister, who began life as an oflicer in the army, but afterwards entered into Holy Orders, much desired to have this book revised; and in consequence, the present well- known volume, called " The Invalid's Hymn-Book," was arranged by my sister, with the addition of one hundred and twelve original hymns composed by herself, and prefaced by Mr. White. In a very short time the sale increased, and it now has reached the eighteenth thousand. In it was first published the widespread hymn, which has since been translated into French, Italian, and German :
" Just as I am, without one plea But that Thy blood was shed for me, And that Thou bidd'st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come !"
A young lady friend was so struck with it, that she had it printed as a leaflet and widely circulated, without any idea by whom it had been composed. It happened rather curiously that while we were living at Torquay, our valued Christian physician came to us one morning, having in his hand this leaflet. He offered it to my sister, saying, " I am sure this will please you ;" and great indeed was his astonishment at finding that it was written by herself, though by what means it had been thus printed and circulated she was utterly ignorant. Shortly after we became acquainted with the lady who had printed it.
In 1835 her health was so far restored, that she yielded to the earnest request of some attached Scotch friends that she would pay them a visit at Dalgetty Manse. She travelled slowly by road the whole distance, and to her poetic eyes and imagination the Scotch scenery was full of charms. In reference to this journey she writes : " After Doncaster all the coujitry was new to me ; we had delightful weather and great enjoyment. Durham Castle and the Palace, from the bridge, have left a picture in my memory, as they stood out in fine antique relief, with the grey tint of time and its ivy upon them. Otherwise, till we entered Scot- land, there was- little to make any impression, but that which cultivated and undulating country, seen under a bright sun in fine weather, will always produce.
" When we crossed the Tweed, and entered the land I have so long loved and so often thought of, and so earnestly desired to visit, I felt sensations of unusual delight, blended with heartfelt gratitude to Him who, even in this our brief earthly pil- grimage, provides for us, and delights to bestow, so many varied enjoyments and sweet refresh- ments. Our friends contrived that I should enter Scotland by a road rich in beauty and in objects of interest. The silvery transparent Tweed, its richly-wooded banks, the fine seats embosomed in wood around it, with the beautiful range of the Pentland Hills, far more beautiful than our favourite Malvern, — all these things woke up feelings that long had slept in my bosom ; and often and often the tear of rapture started to my eye, as ' above, around, and underneath,' every object seemed to touch some responsive chord within, and to draw my heart towards Him ' with- out whom nothing that is made was made, and for whose pleasure all things are and were created.' How much is our delight in His exquisite works increased by our growing acquaintance with Him as our Creator, Father, Saviour, Mediator, Sancti- fier, Comforter ; and how often as I looked at the glorious firmament, the hills, the woods, the waters, the cattle, all reposing in their beauty so peacefully, the words came to my mind, ' All Thy works praise Thee, and Thy saints bless Thee ! They show the glory of Thy kingdom and talk of Thy power, that Thy power. Thy glory, and the mightiness of Thy kingdom might be known unto men.' . . In spite of almost wintry weather, cold winds and rains, your sister feels herself so completely blest and happy, with such a sense of the Divine benediction resting upon her, that I think the actual vision of my blessed and only Saviour, and the actual sound of His own voice, saying, '/ am with thee, My presence shall go with thee, and give thee rest,' could not exceed in certainty and sweet assurance the conviction I now feel, that in this place, and at this time. He does deal thus graciously with my soul."
Other thoughts and feelings, written the same year, find expression in the following letter :
'*Westfield Lodge, Brighton;
*' April T-itk, J.835.
" You will receive this on the sweet dg,y of rest, ,my beloved one, the day of nearest and fullest access to that King of Glory, who is ever ready to listen to us, and to grant all our petitions, if it be for His glory and our real good, that they shall be granted. May it be a, day of refreshment and holy joy to ray beloved companion, with whom, in spirit, I feel so closely, so inseparably united ! ' Our bodies may far off remove, but still we're . joined in heart ;' and I find myself hour by hour, all day long, thinking of you, referring to you, talking of you, and most tenderly cherishing your remembrance within my heart. To - day I am thinking of your journey, and rejoicing in the beautiful gleams of vernal sunshine, and the sweet spring feeling in the air, which will, I trust, make travelling very pleasant, notwithstanding the num- ber of little people and great people contained in the chariot, rendering it, perhaps, close and crowded. Oh, how much I wish I could really look upon all the painful incidents and circum- stances of daily life, as only the passing unim- portant annoyances of a journey, — a journey of which I trust far the larger part is accomplished, of which but a few short stages remain, — the one object I would bear in mind is its rapidly ap- proaching termination.
' May I but safely reach my homi!. My God, my heaven, my all.'
" If I am weary on my way ; ' in heaviness ' through bodily suffering ; or harassed by the scenes I witness around me, in these fearful times, how tranquillising is the thought, that none of these things can for a moment impede my homeward progress ; nay, that they are designed to quicken it, and will assuredly do so, if sanctified to me as they may be by the word of God and prayer, and that I shall ere long leave a world 'made up of perturbations,' for that better country, in which now by faith I spend the only very happy hours of my existence. Is it not, my beloved, exactly in proportion as we thither ' continually ascend,' and with our risen Lord habitually dwell, then that we find rest to our souls, — that we feel they have attained their proper centre ?"
One of the most striking features in my sister was her deep sympathy in all cases of sorrow or distress that were brought before her. It was a most tender and active sympathy, for willingly she would never reflise any application for pecuniary assistance, — indeed, her charities often exceeded . her means.
Another marked feature was her habit of inter- cessory prayer, not only for all her relations, but for friends far off and near, especially those who might be in sorrow or suffering. Our noble Societies were never forgotten by her : the Bible Society, the Church Missionary, and the Jewish Society had special days of remembrance.
Towards the close of the year 1836 she was very ill, and some fears were entertained of serious disease. Happily, however, this was not the case ; but the advice of two eminent London surgeons led to the decision that entire change and travel- ling on the Continent would be most desirable.
Accordingly arrangements were made at once for the journey, and the months thus spent she always looked back upon as the most enjoyable of her whole life.
In November she returned to Brighton, after spending a short time at Tuxford -vicarage, with our brother Edward, after his second marriage. , And in 1836, while staying with the Venn family at Hereford, she writes : —
" I am sitting all alone in a pleasant little sitting room upstairs. I have that oppressive sense of heat and fulness which thunder-storms generally produce in me ; a soft copious rain is falling around, with which I think thunder and lightning have been mingled. The sky is of that deep purplish grey which forms so rich a background to the bright green foliage ; and that stillness is pre- vailing which generally precedes thunder, as if Nature in humble silence did homage to .Him ' whose voice shaketh terribly the earth.'
" I breakfasted most happily alone, with a blessed book in my hand, feeding my soul at the same time with my body. Since that time, I have been reading in that inexhaustible treasury of heavenly wisdom and comfort, the beautiful 3rd of Revela- tion, with its references in sweet Mrs. Shedden'?
Bible, and have much enjoyed my noontide hour of intercessory prayer for all the dear ministers of Christ, and all the flocks committed to their charge, especially those connected with ourselves, and preparing for the holy Sabbath, and all my own beloved family, among whom I thought of thee, my love, and felt it sweet to pray for every blessing, spiritual and temporal, needed by thee, and known to be needed at this time by Him in whom we are, I trust, for ever united by a tie still dearer than that of any earthly relationship !
" Well, then, I set myself diligently to transcribe a paper of three sides of writing, for our Pocket- Book (" The Christian Remembrancer") which were needed. They are on the character of our Saviour, and will, I trust, be blessed to many to whom He is precious. From Bowdler and Tersteegen I have selected enough for the manuscript ; and now I am going to compose a few sacred lines to insert between the two papers, which will be a refreshing change of employment, as I have been writing for two hours. I have been walking about for a little exercise, and composed the lines I wished, which I think you will like (my own sister) when you see them in out Pocket-Book. The text I took for my motto is 2 Cor. iii. i8; and, if I do not deceive myself, they were from my heart, as well as my pen. Oh ! how sweet it is to strive to do every- thing in the name and to the glory of such a Lord and Master, and to be permitted in everything to ask His aid, and to aspire to His blessed approbation. " It is delightful to me at all times to be alone, when I can employ myself; though, as you well know (by having at such times been my sweet cheerer and comforter), there are periods and feel- ings which utterly disable me, and then perfect solitude is heavy. Since I have been here I have had only enough of it to enjoy, and to strive I hope to improve. But I dwell upon the thought more and more, that our earthly life is only a short journey, some of its stages wearisome and long, perhaps, but not one that does not carry us nearer to our home ; and, blessed be God, not one that is not cheered by His presence, and passed through under His gracious direction ; and while these are granted, the soul is happy, and even joyful, though she feels the burden and the clog of a suffering mortal frame. My own mental comfort, I own, almost surprises me, so constant even here is the sense of bodily weariness and indisposition ; but the sweet hope, almost amounting to conviction, that all is and will be well with me ultimately. that my light affliction which is but for a moment, is working out even for me an exceeding and eternal weight of glory, this carries me cheerfully on. And, as I do believe my humble prayer will hp answered more and more, by the peaceable fruits of righteousness being formed in me, that so before I go hence and am no more seen, my Saviour may really be glorified in my body and spirit which are His, I am not only willing but thankful to suffer, because I believe that; it is to make me a partaker ofi His holiness.
" I look on at these diligent fellow-labourers spending so many hours every day in labours of love among the ignorant and wretched, which I am unable to share, and then I remember Milton's sweet lines, ' They also serve who only stand and wait;' and again I remember with comfort how short that waiting time may be for me."
We left home for Dover on June 27, 1837, a brother-in-law being our kind escort. We travelled by post, through the north of France, to Brussels and Frankfort, and so on to Basle ; just stopping where there were objects of interest, or excellent ministers to whom Dr. Steinkopff had given us in- troductions. Our weather was lovely, and greatly did the novelty and variety exhilarate and delight my beloved sister, especially the Rhine scenery.
After reaching Geneva, we felt at once in the midst of friends : our intercourse with Dr. Malan was renewed; and, in addition, we had the delight- ful society of Professor Gaussen and his daughter, with whom we made a short tour through the Bernese Oberland. The Alpine scenery, and the mountain air, seemed to give new life to our dear invalid. 'Chamounix and the Mer de Glace were visited in company with Dr. Malan ; and so much was she invigorated that we ventured the ascent of Montanvert to see the glorious sunrise over the Mer de Glace, at four o'clock in the morning. She went in a chaise d, porieur, while I mounted a horse, and rode with Dr. Malan. In after years, when speaking of this tour, she thus writes to a Scotch friend who was travelling in Switzerland :
" Yes, my beloved J., the feelings of delight and wonder, and adoring gratitude and praise, excited by the scenes around you, can never be imagined even, much less realised, till the enraptured eye beholds them ! and how truly do I participate in your counting all the splendid achievements in the palaces of Versailles, and the magnificence of Paris, as mere baubles and worthless toys, in comparison with the matchless works of our glorious Creator. To me, those mountains and emerald valleys, and rivers and waterfalls, awakened such exquisite sen- sations of delight, as I never expect to experience again, till I shall gaze upon the new heavens and the new earth, in still sweeter society, and with an outward frame more suited to them than this feeble mortal body ; — though I felt on those heights as if I had already dropped the gar- ments of mortality !"
Late in October we returned home, crossing the Jura mountains, and so through France to Boulogne,, her health and spirits greatly invigorated.
I think it was some time in this year that the little volume called '" Hymns for a Week," was first privately printed, to assist the funds of a Bazaar held at Brighton, for St. Mary's Hall. Surreptitious copies of these hymns were afterwards circulated and sold by an individual who claimed them as his own composition ! This obliged the real authoress to have the book pubHshed with her name, and it has now reached the fortieth thousand.
During the next two or three years there does not occur much to record. The winters were always more or less suflfering ; and in the summer months visits were made in various directions — to Tor- quay, Leamington, and Shirley.
In 1 84 1 the death of a most beloved sister-in-law, Mrs. Henry Elliott, crushed her to the earth ; and this blow was followed by our mother's fatal illness in 1842. She was taken from us in April, 1843, and thus our Brighton home was broken up. It was during these last years that some of the most touching poems in " The Hours of Sorrow" were composed. Two sisters also passed away in the following year; so that to a frame already much enfeebled, the effect of these successive shocks was very distressing ; and she became so alarmingly ill, from some attack in the heart, that an im- mediate change of scene was imperative.
It was at this time, when she thought it probable she could not recover, that the following frag- mentary letter, dated August, 1843, addressed to her brother Henry and her sister Eleanor, was written, though it was never discovered till 1871, after she had safely landed on the heavenly shore.
* * # " When this paper meets
your eyes our sweet relationship will have closed for ever ; but will our union be broken, our con- nection dissolved, because my poor suffering body is laid in the grave, and my spirit has returned to God who gave it ? Oh ! my beloved com- panions and counsellors, it will only be exchanged for a better, and more intimate, and more perfect union^ — for an eternal relationship j and I shall be fitter for your love, and better adapted for your society, when you read these lines, which I water with my tears, than I have ever been while im- prisoned in a body of sin and death, and mourning unceasingly over all my countless faults and incon- sistencies.
"I humbly hope, nay, I hope it is not presumptu- ous to say, that I rejoicingly believe, T shall then be 'without spot, before the throne of God and of the Lamb, — and the days of my mourning will be ended.' Therefore, my precious brother, my own beloved sister, ' weep not for me.' Think of me as for ever safe, for ever pardoned, for ever holy, for ever happy through the blood of the everlasting covenant, and the unspeakable mercy of Him who ' hath loved me with an everlasting love.' From that love I am persuaded nothing will ever separate me ; nothing I may still have to endure in life, — nothing I may be called to pass through in death. I have fled for refuge to the hope set before the vilest of sinners ! In my earliest childhood I dis- tinctly remember feeling the drawing of my heavenly Father to His beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ ; and in my often wayward youth His Spirit never ceased to strive with me, convincing me of sin, and making me miserable under the sense of it, and my only gleams of happiness were " (here the fragment closes abruptly).
In consequence of her increased illness, our beloved brother, the Rev. Henry Venn Elliott, who was very tenderly attached to his sister, arranged for us a journey into Devonshire under his escort. Linton and Lynemouth and Ilfra- combe were the places chosen ; and again the total change of scene, with the varied beauties of that lovely neighbourhood into which she so fully entered, proved very reviving to her shattered frame. After a time she rallied so much that we ventured to return to Brighton, though Westfield Lodge was to be no longer our home, but a plea- sant house in Regency Square, where we remained during the chief part of the following year.
Early in the spring of 1845 we were again advised to spend some months on the Continent ; and, accordingly, we sailed from London to Antwerp in May. My sister had intended wintering with me in Italy ; but illness obliged us to return home in July. Later in that year we moved to Torquay by medical advice; and there, during fourteen years, we found a delightful and beautiful home, which my sister greatly loved and enjoyed. The exquisite scenery just suited her poetical taste ; and though she was again and again confined to the house by illness, she was never weary of feast- ing her eyes on the lovely landscape spread before her windows. Many choice friends visited us during these years ; amongst those specially valued were the late Archdeacon Hodson and Rev. W. Cleaver, who often kindly arranged to come on the Sunday to administer the sacrament, and thus to compensate in a measure by their ministrations her privation in being unable to attend the public services in which she so delighted.
The editorship of " The Christian Remembrancer Pocket-Book'' occupied much of her time, particu- larly in the consecutive arrangement of the daily texts, which varied according to the special sub- jects chosen for each year. This employment she delighted in, and often hours would be spent in what we called smilingly her "gold diggings."
In 1857 circumstances combined to make it advisable to try the effect of a more bracing climate; and having two brothers, with their families, settled at Brighton, we determined once more to return to that place endeared by so many early associations. Accordingly, the change was made ; and my sister's life was prolonged for four- teen years, during which period she was con- ~ tinually engaged in preparing the Pocket-Book, and in composing many additional hymns and poems as circumstances arose either of joy or sorrow to call out her tender interest and sym- pathy. Some weeks during the summer months were usually passed in the country. At Tunbridge Wells she greatly enjoyed the drives, and the occasional society of many friends ; and certainly she became stronger after we left Torquay, though advancing age gradually occasioned increasing feebleness. Still she was able, when at Brighton, to enjoy the pleasures of intellectual and spiritual society ; and her zest and delight in reading herself, or in listening to others, continued as fresh and lively as ever, almost to the close of life !
During the latter end of her life it was her con- stant habit before closing her eyes at night, and immediately on first waking in the morning, to repeat to herself certain verses chosen as most suitable for these special seasons, and which she always called her morning and evening "ladder."
— I think it was like Jacob's ladder between earth and heaven !
The death of our beloved brother Henry, in January, 1865, was a crushing blow, and rendered more deeply painful because of her inability to go to him, even to bid him a last farewell ; for she was at that time entirely confined to the house and often to her bed. On the last birthday he spent on earth she addressed to him the following touch- ing and characteristic letter :
"My darling Brother,— I send three little mites for your three charitable funds, with 'a willing mind,' and a grateful heart; and may the privilege be granted to me of helping you in some little measure, by my poor but heartfelt prayers, in all the arduous works entrusted to you by your heavenly Master, an'd in which, indeed, you have long ' laboured and have not fainted.' Oh, how full has my heart been of deep and loving thoughts ol you, my brother, on this day; and how sweet and precious to me has the privilege been of pour- ing out all these thoughts to Him whose you are, for whom you labour, and who says to you, ' Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.' You feed His sheep, my Heriry,— you feed His lambs ; and when the chief Shepherd shall appear, what an abundant recompense will He bestow. I have asked three things especially for my. darling brother on this day: — First: that his eye may be single, and his whole body full of light, and his path as ' the shining light, which shineth more and more unto the perfect day.' — Secondly : that God may prosper all His work of faith and patience, of hope and labour of love, both in dear St. Mary's Hall and in St. Mary's congregation, for every one of whom I try to pray. — Thirdly: for strength of body equal to your need, to be granted, and some helper found, to lighten the burden which is too heavy for you ; arid for such peace to fill your soul, that nothing may harass you, and every trial may be turned into a blessing. These are the prayers continually offered for my precious brother from the heart of his much-indebted and most loving sister (now in her feeble old age), C. E."
Her attachment to this brother was most deep and tender ; and, as he was younger than herself, she had always hoped and expected that he would minister to her in her dying hours f But God had ordered otherwise; and though, as she often said, his removal changed the aspect of her life, and was indeed an irreparable loss, yet it wa,s very beautiful to notice her meek submission under the heavy chastisement, and to observe how she was enabled to say in the language of her own well-known hymn :
What though in lowly grief I sigh For friends beloved no longer nigh; Submissive' still would I reply,
" Thy will be done !"
If Thou should'st call me to resign What most I prize, it ne'er was mine, I only yield Thee what was Thine : " Thy will be done 1"
The last time she was able to leave home was in 1867, when we spent some weeks at Keymer, a pretty quiet village within a drive from Brighton, and sheltered from the keen winds by the South Downs. The perfect quiet of this village, the pretty cheerful views from our window, with the soft balmy air proved very reviving and delightful. Indeed she rallied so much that she was able not only to take drives in the neighbourhood, but to walk in the garden, to sit in the verandah, and to watch the haymakers in their busy work in the adjoining fields. After our return to Brighton in the autumn her strength gradually lessened, so that we found it necessary to spare every exertion ; from this time she never left the house, and was usually carried in a chair up and down stairs.
In the autumn of 1869 an acute inflammatory- attack, attended with great suffering, so entirely reduced her remaining strength, that her medical friends had no hope of her rallying ; and during two or three days those around watched by her bedside, almost doubting whether the heavy sleep was not the sleep of death ! It was after this attack that she wrote the following hitherto un- published verses :
Darling, weep not ! I must leave thee.
For a season we must part ! Let not this short absence grieve thee.
We shall still be one in heart ; And a few brief sunsets o'er. We shall meet to part no more !
Sweet ftas been our earthly union,
Sweet our fellowship of love ; But more exquisite communion
Waits us in our home above ; Nothing there can loose or sever Ties ordained to last for ever.
Sweet has been thy tender feeling Through long years for this poor frame :
Love and care, like balm of healing. Have kept up life's feeble flame ;
Now these dying pangs betoken
That the *' silver cord " is broken.
Dearest ! those sad features pain me :
Wipe those loving tears away I Let thy stronger faith sustain me,
In this dark and cloudy day ! Be my " Hopeful," make me brave. Lift my^ead above the wave !
Place me in those arms as tender, But more powerful far than thine :
For a while thy charge surrender To His guardianship divine !
Lay me on my Saviour's breast.
There to find eternal rest!
To the surprise of all, however, it pleased God that she should yet remain with us a little longer ; but from this period she was entirely confined to her bed,- only leaving it to rest on the couch for a few hours. But even in this weak and suffering state her mind continued clear, and her affections as tender and fresh, as ever. Her bedroom windows looked over the country to the west ; and great was her delight in observing the beautiful sunsets, and all the varying colourings of the clouds, — she even wished to be roused from sleep w'hen there was a rainbow, or any special beauty in the sky. Her love for flowers was almost a passion ; and to the last week of her life she would have the nose- gays sent by loving friends on her bed, and arrange them with her own peculiar and elegant taste.
In the last two years of her life, and especially during the last few months, there was much in- crease of weakness and suffering ; but, amidst all, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ was hourly magnified in her. Those at her side noted most thankfully heir sweet peace, her bright hope, her gentle, humble, fearless drawing near to the gates of death ; her deep love of Scripture and rich en- joyment of its precious truths ; her earnest resist- ance to all error ; her bringing all to the standard of that Divine Word; her abiding love to the name and the person of Jesus ; her full trust, most humbly, in His atoning merits and intercession ; her yearning after the hour when He would come to take her to Himself; and yet her patience under prolonged suffering; and her simple desire that God would glorify Himself in her, living or dying, doing or suffering His holy will. All is but as a present, living, most blessed history to those who survive, an earlier fragment of that which will be fully developed in eternity. The principle of all was simple reliance on the word and the work of Christ. He had done all for her. He "hsA promised all to her. She was as the limpet on the rock (she would often say), so clinging to her blessed Saviour, that any effort to tear her from Him was like rending her soul asunder ; or, she was as the happy infant on its mother's lap, with no strength, but needing none ; fully supported by those loving arms, and only looking up to the beam of light and love on that blessed countenance, when the sweetest joy would steal into her soul.
Or again, she would retrace in her own mind all she had ever known or read of worth and beauty in man or nature, — all of genius and glory, the highest and best on earth, — all the loveliest and most noble characters that had ever evoked admiration or esteem. She would review them all, with a rich unfolding of the several pictures, and a comparison of them with the portraiture, in her own mind, of Him "in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." She would speak of each one — Milton, Dante, Newton, St. Paul, etc. — as but a faint outline, a shadowy re- flection, of His glorious excellency. And thus, when no one was by, in the silent hours of dark- ness, her solitary musings, of which she would give an account the following day, often made even- wakefulness to be no weariness, and her sick chamber as the pavilion of her Saviour's presence.
As to material images or pictures, she felt that they did but cripple and confine her meditatioiis, and draw them down to earth. And the pomp of a gorgeous ceremonial was to her but the attempt to create a semblance of religion, when the heart could not rise to the reality. Many years since, her living motto had been expressed in those simple lines :
Oh, Jesus, make Thyself to me A living, bright reality, More present to Faith's vision keen Than any outward object seen, — More dear, more intimately nigh. Than e'en the sweetest earthly tie.
At one period, when her weakness made it no longer possible for her to attend the public sanc- tuary that she so dearly loved, this was the ex- pression of her mind : " My Bible is my Church. It is always open, and there is my High Priest ever waiting to receive me. There I have my con- fessional, my thanksgiving, my psalms of praise, a field of promises, and a congregation of whom the world is not worthy — prophets and apostles, and martyrs and confessors — in short, all I can want I there find."
In the last years and days of her life — days of increased weakness and suffering — she was sus- tained and blessed with a sense of her Saviour's love and her Saviour's presence, and with a sure and abiding trust in Him.
In a private paper writen for her sister Eleanor, at the commencement of her 8ist year, she says ; —
" I feel that so great an age as mine requires three things — great faith, great patience, and great peace. Come what may during the year upon which we have entered, I firmly believe that good- ness and mercy, like two guardian angels, will follow us during every day, in every hour, in every varying circumstance through which we may have to pass, — ^in every time of trouble sustaining and comforting us, — the angel of His presence keeping ever by our side, and whispering. Fear not, for 1 am with thee, — ^be not dismayed, for I am thy God. We may have to part for a short season with each other; but He has promised never, never to leave us, — never, never to forsake us."
When parting with another beloved sister, a few weeks before her death, she said, — "Our next meeting will be at the marriage-supper of the Lamb."
When the verse, " Let not your heart be trou- bled," was repeated to her, she quietly said, " But my heart is not troubled ?" adding, " My mind is full of the Bible." And thaf word was her support ? when speech had failed her, and she was passing through the dark valley.
The last manifestation of consciousness was on the morning of her death, when, on her sister repeating to her their text for the day, "Thine eyes shall see the King in His beauty, they shall behold the land that is very far off," she clasped her hands together ; and as she raised her eyes to heaven, a beam came over her countenance, which showed that she fully entered into the precious words, and was realising the glorious vision she was so soon to behold. On the evening of that day, September 22 nd, at 10 o'clock, without any apparent suffering, or the slightest struggle, she fell asleep in Jesus, so peacefully that it was difficult to fix the moment when the gentle breath- ing ceased.