Yes, in me, in me He dwelleth– I in Him and He in me! And my empty soul He filleth Now and through eternity. – Horatio Bonar
“…God made me a new man! God has made me a new man!"
Wonderful was the experience that had come in answer to prayer, yet so simple as almost to baffle description…
Do you know, I now think that this striving, longing, hoping for better days to come is not the true way to holiness, happiness or usefulness. It is better, no doubt, far better than being satisfied with poor attainments, but not the best way after all. I have been struck with a passage from a book…entitled Christ is All. It says,
“The Lord Jesus received is holiness begun; the Lord Jesus cherished is holiness advancing; the Lord Jesus counted upon as never absent would be holiness complete…
“He is most holy who has most of Christ within, and joys most fully in the finished work…"
….To let my loving Savior work in me His will, my sanctification, is what I would live for by His grace. Abiding, not striving nor struggling; looking off unto Him; trusting Him for present power;…resting in the love of an almighty Savior, in the joy of a complete salvation, “from all sin”–this is not new, and yet ’tis new to me… Christ literally all seems to me, now, the power, the only power for service, the only ground for unchanging joy… .
How then to have our faith increased? Only by thinking of all that Jesus is and all He is for us: His life, His death, His work, He Himself as revealed to us in the Word, to be the subject of our constant thoughts. Not a striving to have faith… but a looking off to the Faithful One seems all we need; a resting in the Loved One entirely, for time and eternity.
….I looked to Jesus, and when I saw–oh, how joy flowed!
It was resting in Jesus now, and letting Him do the work–which makes all the difference. Whenever he spoke in meetings after that, a new power seemed to flow from him, and in the practical things of life a new peace possessed him. Troubles did not worry him as before. He cast everything on God in a new way, and gave more time to prayer.
It was the exchanged life that had come to him–the life that is indeed “No longer I.” …It was a blessed reality “Christ liveth in me.” And how great the difference!–instead of bondage, liberty; instead of failure, quiet victories within; instead of fear and weakness, a restful sense of sufficiency in Another.
Perhaps I may make myself more clear if I go back a little…I prayed, agonized, fasted, strove, made resolutions, read the Word more diligently, sought more time for meditation–but all without avail. Every day, almost every hour, the consciousness sin oppressed me.
I knew that if only I could abide in Christ all would be well, but I could not. I would begin the day with prayer, determined not to take my eye off Him for a moment, but pressure of duties, sometimes very trying, and constant interruptions apt to be so wearing, caused me to forget Him. Then one’s nerves get so fretted in this climate that temptations to irritability, had thoughts and sometimes unkind words are all the more difficult to control. Each day brought its register of sin and failure, of lack of power. To will was indeed “present with me,” but how to perform I found not.
Then came the questions, is there no rescue? Must it be thus to the end–constant conflict, and too often defeat?… . Instead of growing stronger, I seemed to be getting weaker and to have less power against sin; and no longer, for faith and even hope were getting low. I hated myself, I hated my sin, yet gained no strength against it. I felt I was a child of God. His Spirit in my heart would cry, in spite of all, “Abba, Father.” But to rise to my privileges as a child, I was utterly powerless.
…I knew I was powerless. I told the Lord so, and asked Him to give me help and strength. Sometimes I almost believed that He wold keep and uphold me; but on looking back in the evening–alas! There was but sin and failure to confess and mourn before God.
…And yet, never did Christ seem more precious; a Savior who could and would save such a sinner!… And sometimes there were seasons not only of peace but of joy in the Lord; but they were transitory, and at best there was a sad lack of power.
All the time I felt assured that there was in Christ all I needed, but the practical question was–how to get it out. He was rich truly, but I was poor; He was strong, but I weak. I knew full well that there was in the root, the stem, abundant fatness, but how to get it into my puny little branch was the question. As gradually light dawned, I saw that faith was the only requisite–was the hand to lay hold on His fullness and make it mine. But I had not this faith.
I strove for faith, but it would not come; I tried to exercise it, but in vain. Seeing more and more the wondrous supply of grace laid up in Jesus, the fullness of our precious Savior, my guilt and helplessness seemed to increase. Sins committed appeared but as trifles compared with the sin of unbelief which was their cause, which could not or would not take God at His word…I prayed for faith, but it came not. What was I to do?
When my agony of soul was at its height, a sentence in a letter from dear McCarthy was used to remove the scales from my eyes, and the Spirit of God revealed to me the truth of our oneness with Jesus as I had never known it before.
“But how to get faith strengthened? Not by striving after faith, but by resting on the Faithful One."
As I read, I saw it all! “If we believe not, he abideth faithful.” I looked to Jesus and saw (and when I saw, oh, how joy flowed)! That He had said, “I will never leave thee."
“Ah, there is rest!” I thought. “I have striven in vain to rest in Him. I’ll strive no more. For has not He promised to abide with me–never to leave me, never to fail me?” And,… He never will.
…As I thought of the Vine and the branches, what light the blessed Spirit poured direct into my soul! How great seemed my mistake in wishing to get the sap, the fullness out of Him! I saw not only that Jesus will ever leave me, but that I am a member of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. The vine is not the root merely, but all–root, stem, branches, twigs, leaves, flowers, fruit. And Jesus is not that alone–He is soil and sunshine, air and showers, and ten thousand times more than we have ever dreamed, wished for or needed. Oh, the joy of seeing this truth! I do pray that the eyes of your understanding too may be enlightened, that you may know and enjoy the riches freely given us in Christ.
. . . It is a wonderful thing to be really one with a risen and exalted Savior, to be a member of Christ! Think what it involves. Can Christ be rich and I poor? Can your right hand be rich and your left poor? Or your head be well fed while your body starves?… . No more can your prayers or mine be discredited if offered in the name of Jesus (i.e., not for the sake of Jesus merely, but on the ground that we are His, His members) so long as we keep within the limits of Christ’s credit–a tolerably wide limit!
The sweetest part,… is the rest which full identification with Christ brings. I am no longer anxious about anything, as I realize this; for He, I know, is able to carry out His will, and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me, or how. That is rather for Him to consider than for me; for in the easiest position He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult His grace is sufficient…So, if God should place me in serious perplexity, must He not give me much guidance; in positions of great difficulty, much grace; in circumstances of great pressure and trials, much strength? No fear that His resources will prove unequal to the emergency! And His resources are mine, for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me.
And since Christ has thus dwelt in my heart by faith, how happy I have been!… I am no better than before. In a sense, I do not wish to be, nor am I striving to be. But I am dead and buried with Christ–ay, and risen too! And now Christ lives in me, and “the life that I now live in the flesh, I live by faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."
…Do not let us consider Him as far off, when God has made us one with Him, members of His very body. Nor should we look upon this experience, these truths, as for the few. They are the birthright of every child of God, and no one can dispense with them without dishonoring our Lord. The only power for deliverance from sin or for true service is Christ.
And it is all so simple and practical!
“But are you always conscious of this abiding in Christ?” Mr. Taylor was asked many years later.
“While sleeping last night,” he replied, “did I cease to abide in your home because I was unconscious of the fact? We should never be conscious of not abiding in Christ."
I change, He changes not; The Christ can never die: His truth, not mine, the resting place; His love, not mine, the tie.
Excerpted from the chapter on “The Exchanged Life” in Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret by Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor (London: China Inland Mission, 1955, pp. 110-116, et passim).
“It was Sunday, June 25, a quiet summer morning by the sea. Worn out and really ill, Hudson Taylor had gone to friends at Brighton [England] and…had wandered out alone upon the sands left by the receding tide. It was a peaceful scene about him, but inwardly he was in agony of spirit. A decision had to be made and he knew it, for the conflict could no longer be endured."
Hudson Taylor, now a man of twenty-nine years, already had seven years of missionary service in China behind him, having gone as a young man of 21 years. In China he had labored strenuously and had married a young lady who shared his love for the Lord and for the Chinese people. Together they had served until ill health forced him to return to his native England. There he had been advised that it would be like a death sentence to think of returning to China. He threw himself into the work of publishing a hymn book for the Chinese and a revision of the New Testament. He had also decided to complete his medical studies. Long hours were spent daily in earnest study.
As he diligently applied himself to these tasks, on the wall above him hung a map of China. Well he knew from his experience as a missionary in China, that missionary work was largely confined to the coastal area. As he daily studied the map, the burden of the countless millions of souls in inland China grew upon him. And the Word of God which was his constant companion fed his growing conviction that something must be done for the souls in inland China.
Words like those found in Ezekiel 3:18 burned their way into his heart: “When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand.” Adding fuel to the burden was the fact that the number of missionaries in China was decreasing rather than increasing.
Work was laid aside time and again while he called his wife and two fellow workers for prayer. Together they beseeched God to send workers to all of China. Missionary societies were contacted and challenged. They sympathized with the burden, but where to secure the finances, and the men for the task, stopped them from taking any action.
The thought of a host of Chinese dying daily without Christ became an agony in the soul of Hudson Taylor. He knew God was saying to him that in answer to prayer, God would send the finances and the workers. Still, the thought of maintaining a force of missionaries in the rugged interior of China through the trials of faith that would surely come was almost overwhelming to him. Almost crushed by the burden, he contemplated what the blessed Gospel would do for the benighted Chinese millions – if there was faith to undertake the task.
This was the agony in his soul as he walked the shores on that quiet summer morning. Suddenly it came to him that if God was asking him to do this, then the responsibility was with God. “Thou, Lord,” he cried with relief that was unutterable, “Thou shalt have all the burden! At Thy bidding, as Thy servant I go forward, leaving results with Thee."
Opening his Bible he wrote, “Prayed for twenty-four willing skilful labourers at Brighton, June 25, 1865.” That was two evangelists for each of China’s interior provinces unreached as yet by missionaries. Joy and peace flooded his soul. He was apprehending that for which God had apprehended him!
The years of study he had just been through proved valuable training for what lay ahead. During that time Mr. Taylor looked to the Lord alone for provision of his daily needs and the needs of his family. He had also taken on support of a young couple who sailed for China to serve the Lord. The trial of his faith was severe as he sometimes was reduced to his last few pennies – but he was learning to trust wholly in the Lord.
“Nothing is more striking in the records of this period than Mr. Taylor’s dependence upon prayer, real dependence for every detail, every need. He leaned his whole weight on God, pleading the promises…. All was brought to the Heavenly Father with the directness of little children, and the conviction that He could and would undertake, direct, and provide. It was all so real, so practical! Equally characteristic was the faithfulness with which he followed when the Lord’s way was made plain…."
Within two days of his decision at Brighton, he had opened a bank account in the name of China Inland Mission and had made his first deposit, an amount of ten pounds. Matters began to move rapidly, proving that God was in this giant step. An experienced and successful businessman, Mr. Berger, was closely drawn to Mr. Taylor. He would represent the mission at home. Many doors opened for Mr. Taylor to present the need of inland China. Contributions began to come in for the work. Their home became a bustling place as a few candidates arrived and were outfitted to sail for China. Mrs. Taylor, now mothering four little children, became a mother to the young missionaries during their preparation.
But in the midst of the meetings and lively activity, Hudson Taylor was careful to spend time in quiet prayer and meditation. “Depend upon it,” he said, “God’s work done in God’s way will never lack God’s supplies.” And so it was very important to learn and to follow God’s ways.