We read in earlier chapters about how the Philistines took the Ark of the Covenant in victory over the Israelites. They didn’t have it long, however, before they realized it was more trouble than it was worth. So they sent it back to Israel. The Israelites disobeyed a very clear command of God, and many looked inside the ark and were killed outright by God. 50,070 men. But instead of bringing repentance, it only brought fear. I would guess because they knew they were living in sin, and they were scared they would suffer the same fate. They mourned the dead – but they didn’t mourn their own sin. Crying because they got found out, in other words. So what did they do? They sent the Ark of the Covenant away to an obscure village, and ignored it for twenty years.
From the day that the ark remained at Kiriath-jearim, the time was long, for it was twenty years; and all the house of Isreal lamented after the Lord. (1 Samuel 7: 2)
They lamented after the Lord…. does that mean they were getting tired of sin? Remembering the favor of God? Perhaps wanting peace and freedom from their enemies? I think so. They always knew Who gave them peace from from their enemies, and victory over them. They just didn’t want to live holy lives. They wanted, as we like to say – ‘have their cake and eat it too!’ They wanted to ‘fit in’ with their heathen neighbors, and enjoy the moment. They didn’t want to fight. They wanted ease. They soon realized, however, that the ‘ease’ of sin is very temporary.
Then Samuel spoke to all the house of Israel, saying, “If you return to the house of the Lord with all your heart, remove the foreign gods and the Ashtoreth from among you and direct your hearts to the LORD, and serve Him alone; and HE will deliver you from the hands of the Philistines.”
…With all of your heart. That is what it takes. You must be whole-hearted about it. God sees our intentions and our hearts desire. (Hebrews 4:12)
We also have to remove the gods in our lives – whatever they may be. Do we seek mans approval more than Gods approval? Do we want the admiration of our ungodly friends and relatives? Do we have a high opinion of ourselves – thinking ‘I deserve some time alone’, or ‘I deserve this purchase for myself’, or ‘I have a good reason to be discouraged’, or any number of other self-serving ideas about ourselves. Self is the easiest “god” to put on the throne in our lives. Thinking we deserve something, better treatment, better circumstances, better health, better husbands, more money, etc. Self is very subtle and destructive. We may think that its not us – but our husbands, that needs to read this. That is proof that we have a high opinion of ourselves. Sisters, lets return to the LORD with our all hearts, remove self from the throne of our hearts, and serve GOD alone. He will then be able to deliver us from the “Philistines” in our lives. “Philistines” of self-pity, depression, pride, slander, anger, and so many more.
So the sons of Israel removed the Baals and the Ashtoreth and served the Lord alone.
Then Samuel prayed for them, and they fasted. A little later, they were gathered at Mizpah, and the Philistines gathered together, and came up against them. The Israelites heard they were coming, and were scared. Sometimes when we first turn to God in repentance, and we see that situation or that temptation, we get scared of the ‘Philistines’ in our life. Those sins that always defeat us. But listen….
….The Philistines drew near to battle against Israel. But the LORD thundered with a great thunder on that day against the Philistines, and confused them, so that they were routed before Israel.
I love that verse! God thundered against their enemies! How quick and mightily God comes to save us from ourselves! How many times did the Israelites win in battles against their enemies, when they were following God, and living in obedience? Every time! They never lost even one battle to their enemies. If we live in obedience to God’s Word, if we get rid of the gods in our own life, and if we humble ourselves, God will always win our battles. (James 4:6)
After God thundered, the Israelites were no longer scared.
The men of Israel went out of Mizpah, and pursued the Philistines, and struck them down as far as below Beth-car.
You see? Not only does God thunder on our behalf – we get the courage and strength to even pursue our enemies till they are completely driven out before us!
Proverbs 10:18 “He who conceals hatred has lying lips, and he who spreads slander is a fool.”
I know – I never thought I was one to spread slander, either. I mean, that sounds kind of harsh, right? Well, lets first see what slander actually means. Webster’s defines it as: ” the utterance of false charges, or misrepresentations which defame and damage another’s reputation.”
Wow. I have done that. I have been upset with someone, went home and talked about them to my husband, in such a way that it damaged their reputation in his eyes. I have slandered. I am a fool. So God says. Of course, I have repented of the times I have done this, but I have to continually watch for it in my life. I am beginning to see how serious it is to defame another person. Yes, even to our husbands. Of course, we share most things with our husbands, but there are small things that don’t need to be shared. Or if they are, then given in such a way as to not place blame on the person(s) involved. “But we share everything! And he needs to know what kind of people they are!” I can hear you saying it. Oh, but you don’t have to ‘let him know’ how they are! We should always talk about other people, especially our brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ, as favorably as possible. Trust me, our men are not stupid – if there is a real problem, they will figure it out on their own. I know there are certain circumstances we have to bring up, for various reasons, but even then, we should be as objective and kind as possible.
Proverbs 18:21 says that ‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue…’ We can cause a friendship to live or die, by the words we speak.
It is the same between friends. We feel we must tell our friend that thing she did, or that thing she said, and it ends up destroying the friendship between the two of them. We need to ponder the verse that says: “A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends.” Proverbs 16:28
Killing a friendship that God meant for blessing and good is a serious thing. Sowing suspicion, doubt, and distrust about another sister or brother in the church is slander. That is how alot of problems begin, by some slander that damages another persons reputation, and starts a snowball of suspicion and distrust. It grows and grows. Be wary, my sisters, of any talk that degrades or damages another. Even a little bit. Even with our husbands, family, or close friends that ‘understand’. It is too easy to wreck friendships, ruin reputations, and start church problems. If you have a problem with anyone, the best way is the way Jesus taught us in Colossians 3:13; “…bearing with one another, forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
In the rare cases where it as actually sin, (and not just small offenses) use the advice in Matthew 18:15-17. But be careful of using those verses as a reason to go parading your own personal ‘hurts’ to someone else.
Try forgiveness. Try mercy. Try walking a mile in their shoes. Try understanding. Try love.
“There is one who speaks rashly, like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Pro. 12:18
Copyright River of Life Christian Fellowship.
It seems lately there is a huge push from every side to be healthy. The medical industry has been pushing it, the food industry wants its share in the profits, and of course, every fly-by-night self-taught health foodie has their own theories. We all dislike being sick or in pain, so of course we also want to be healthy. We read books on the subject, we take classes, we buy organic food, and we start exercising faithfully. We want to feel ‘healthy’. We don’t want to be overweight. We don’t want to get cancer. What we don’t realize, is that most of us already have cancer. Cancer of the heart.
Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 15, that it wasn’t what went into their mouths that defiled them, but what came out of it. Verse 11 says:“Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man, but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth the man.”
And in verses 17-20, He said again:
“Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast into the draught? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: these are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.”
Jesus was saying this in response to the accusation of the Pharisees and scribes against His disciples, for eating bread without following the tradition of the elders. (of washing their hands) But it’s still true today – what goes into our mouth does not defile us. We may get food poisoning from eating unsanitary food, but it won’t poison our hearts.
I am not saying we shouldn’t eat healthy. We should take care of our bodies, so that we can use them to serve and honor God. He does care about our bodies, too, after all. But I see an alarming trend among Christian people – women in particular, where they judge others according to how ‘healthy’ they are. Instead of having understanding and compassion, we chide them, mock them, or secretly judge them. We should never judge someone because they eat fast food or frozen dinners! Perhaps instead of cooking 100% healthy, they are spending time with their children, teaching them of God. Or perhaps they are on their knees, interceding for the church. After all, we live in earthly bodies – subject to sickness and disease. If we can eat healthy and feel better, thereby serve God better – wonderful! But if we see a sister that doesn’t have the same ‘food value system’ that we have, let’s not judge and condemn her. We should be encouraging each other, blessing each other, interceding for each other, and helping each other! The things that defile us, Jesus says, are evil thoughts. Have you ever thought evil of someone? Murders. Have you ever been angry with someone? Jesus called that murder. Matthew 5:21,22
If you have these evil things in your heart, you are already sick with cancer,(spiritually) even though you are so careful to eat healthy. (physically)
These evil thoughts in the heart are what defile us. They come out, and defile not only us, but others around us! We must be so careful to keep our heart healthy – for out of it are the issues of life.
Not out of our digestive system. Proverbs 4:23. Its a shame when the world has more grace for those who eat differently, than the church does. Sisters, let’s not make a tradition of eating healthy as our standard of holiness! Let’s focus on encouraging one another, blessing one another, and interceding for each other. Let’s make sure our hearts are healthy.
Used with Permission. Copyright River of Life Christian Fellowship.
1. Men love a happy wife.
Who doesn’t love a happy person, right? We all know people who we love to be around, simply because they are consistently happy. Our husbands feel the same way – they love living with a woman who is consistently happy. You don’t have to be a bubbly, happy-go-lucky person. All you need is the joy of the Lord in your heart, a smile on your lips, and pleasant words. A man can face the world a bit easier after a pleasant morning with his wife. A smile and a hug go a long ways. Men also need us to be cheerful and pleasant when they arrive home in the evening. It is a hard enough job being responsible for a family, without having to worry whether his wife will be grumpy or short-tempered when he gets home. Make a habit of being predictably happy. If you feel depressed and upset, start practicing thankfulness. Write out an actual list of things to thank God for. Thankfulness equals joy.
2. Be on the Same Team
Always, always, always be on the same team. Competitiveness in marriage opens the door to conflict and bickering. If you must compete with someone, find a sport or hobby that has that element. Don’t compete with your man. You should always strive to be on his side. Be his biggest supporter and fan. Encourage him in the things he is good at. Don’t feel like you have to ‘top’ him, or be right. Work together. Treasure your relationship and pour all your energy into building a team. Don’t waste energy on competition. It takes away time and effort from investing in your marriage.
3. He is a Man.
I know it sounds simplistic – but your husband is not another one of your girlfriends. He may not be interested in what scent the candles are, or which blanket you bought for the kids bed. Of course, some men are interested in those types of things, but many more aren’t. We shouldn’t feel neglected and hurt if he doesn’t want to spend all evening discussing paint samples or menu ideas. Talk to your girlfriends about those ideas. When your husband has free time, talk about things of mutual interest. Maybe your husband is like mine, and shows interest in anything that interests you. Don’t take advantage of that. Make sure you are showing the same attention to his ideas and dreams, as he does to yours.
4. Be Courteous. When you live with someone for years, its easy to get too comfortable. Learn to be as courteous to your husband as you are to your friends and neighbors. We tend to treat others with the utmost politeness and deference, but with our husbands, we bark orders without so much a please or thank-you. Politeness makes things a bit easier to handle. Don’t think that since your family it doesn’t matter. It does. We all like to be treated like we’re special. Is your husband special to you? Act like it. Dress nice and speak softly. Don’t allow the hardships of life to reflect in your tone of voice or appearance. Courtesy goes along way in smoothing out the rough edges in a marriage.
5. I am Human Too. Your husband is not the only one with faults in your marriage. If you have been focusing on him for a long time, it may be hard to accept, but its true. Sometimes we get so used to looking at him and his faults, that its easy to forget that we, too, have problems. We have annoying habits and self-serving hearts, just like our husband. When God showed me this truth, it changed my whole perspective of marriage. I began thinking of all the things about myself that were less than attractive, and realized that there were many. Its a two-way street; we both have faults. We both need the grace of God in our lives, and we both need forgiveness. Don’t be so attentive to his faults. Overlook little things. Its better to forgive quickly and let things go, than to waste your marriage on making sure he knows how wrong he is. If there is an area where he is lacking – pick up the slack. Grow a thick skin. Whatever it takes, quit finding fault with your man. Take a little time to examine your own life, and see if you don’t have faults as well. Then give him some grace. And while you’re at it, give him a hug!
Used with Permission. Copyright River of Life Christian Fellowship.
But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks, Shall we indeed accept good from God, and not accept adversity?” In all this Job sinned not with his lips. (Job 2:10)
In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (I Thessalonians 5:18)Christians are pretty good at giving glory to God for the good things that come their way. When we get a promotion, when our needs are met in an amazing way, when we recover our health… we usually say that God gave us these things, God met our needs, God answered our prayers, God is so amazing! We would be wrong not to give the honor to God for these good things that we receive at His hand. It is good to praise God for the wonderful things He is doing for us.
But I wonder – how often do we accept the adversity that God allows? Job was righteous. He was not suffering for sins he committed. He was suffering because God allowed Satan to touch every area of his life with adversity. His finances, his family, even his body. Yet “in all this, Job sinned not with his lips”. What a testimony! Job lived before the Holy Spirit had come. We now have the Holy Spirit to live in us and give us power – and yet how many of us can say that we go through adversity without sinning with our lips? That is often the first thing we do – complain and whine about how hard we have it, and what trials we are suffering through. Then we sigh and say that we guess it’s God’s will, and we shall have to endure it somehow.
God did not give us the Holy Spirit to help us somehow endure it. We are to be ‘more than conquerors through Him that loved us’! Romans 8:37 If Job had the grace to go through the trials he did without sinning with his lips, we can be confident that God will give us grace to be Christ-like through every trial and time of adversity we face.
Jesus also left us an example of facing trials with the power of God. He cried out with the bodily pain and thirst, but He faced the hardest trial ever known to man – to be separated from His Father – without cursing God. Instead, in His hour of deepest need and agony, He was caring for others. He was caring for a sinner who was despised in the eyes of society. He was thinking of his family. He was praying for his torturers. He didn’t deny that His body was in agony, but He was able by the power of God to die to His own fleshly desires, and spend His time of trial in care and love for others.
We need to be filled with the Holy Spirit to be able to face adversity this way. When we are plunged into a fiery trial, a hardship, or an extended time of adversity, we will be unable to bear the strain if don’t have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to give us power. Oh, what a testimony to the power of God would it be, to have the Christian churches filled with people who accept good and adversity from the hand of God! Who face with thanksgiving every circumstance that comes their way! Let us look to Jesus, our example.
Copyright River of Life Christian Fellowship.
Women are known to be social creatures. It is the way God has made us – so that we can spend every day in the company of our children. It is a gift – to be sensitive to the emotional needs and desires of others around us. But, by the same token, we tend to deal with loneliness quite often in some form.
I have went through periods of deep loneliness, and I have talked to many other women who feel lonely. Some feel alone in their family, some in their church, others in their marriages.What are we to do when we feel alone?
First of all, we must recognize that feelings are unfaithful friends – changing at the whim of how we feel when we wake up, or how the day is going or whatever. We simply cannot go by our feelings. Lay them aside and find the Truth. Truth will set you free – even from sad and lonely feelings.
We must understand that no one on this earth can ever truly satisfy our longing for fellowship, understanding and love. Family misunderstands, friends betray, and husbands fail us. Only Jesus knows our every temptation and struggle,(Heb.4:15) every thought and motive, (Heb. 4:12) and still loves us unconditionally(Rom. 5:8) Remember – He was betrayed by one of His closest friends! Judas betrayed Him, Peter denied knowing Him, and some of His friends didn’t even recognize Him. (Luke 24:16)
We need to build a relationship with Jesus, and find our security and acceptance in Him. Once we truly understand how much he loves us, and how faithful and true He is in relationships,(Heb. 13:5) we will never need to feel lonely. Jesus is the only one who can fulfill the longings of our heart. He is the only one who can bring lasting joy and contentment.
“But what about them? Isn’t my husband/friend/sister supposed to treat me better? They claim to be Christians!”
When Peter asked Jesus a question regarding what his fellow disciple should do – Jesus said: “What is that to you? You follow Me!” (John 21:22) We are not responsible for the actions of others. We cannot change people. We can only change ourselves. Perhaps your husband or your sister in the church isn’t being Christ-like. Remember – you are also an imperfect human who has faults. I have found that it is good to think about my own sins, if I am tempted to start judging another persons’ sins! We must overlook sins against ourselves and treat them with love and care anyways. (1 Peter 4:8)
“But I don’t have any friends!”
If people on this earth forget you and leave you lonely – consider it a gift from God, to draw you into a closer relationship with Himself. He wants to fulfill us, comfort us, be our closest and truest Friend. One of the best ways to deal with feelings of loneliness is to pour your life into others. Especially those who perhaps can’t return the blessing. There is always someone we can bless and encourage!
Busy moms could use help, older ladies are perhaps lonely themselves, but scared to reach out. Single ladies also need friends and encouragement. Take someone out for coffee. Invite someone over. Don’t wait for the perfect time, or when you have enough money to do it ‘right’. There is no right way. You can bless someone without money. Brew some tea and invite someone over for an hour or two of sweet fellowship. You don’t need a spotless house to be hospitable. You just need a heart that cares. People need friends. Be one! Lay down your need to be fulfilled, and start caring for others. Think of what you can do today to bless and encourage a sister in the church. Perhaps its a meal made and delivered for the tired, pregnant sister. Perhaps it is a text or phone call to encourage that sister who is going through a tough time. Invite the young wife into your home and your life – show her the beauty that you have found in your home and your marriage.
When I was a new wife, something that made a huge impact on me was when a sister in the church invited me into her home, and showed me (by example) how to love my husband, care for my children, and find great joy in the process. She didn’t have much money, she lived in a modest home, but she would serve me soup and crackers with grace. She helped me get through morning-sickness, homesickness, and learning to manage a home. I never forgot the love she demonstrated to me, her family, and God. Don’t wait for the timing to be right, or to feel ‘spiritual’. Just be a friend. You may find – in the process – that your need for friendship is greatly reduced, for when you invest in others, it has a way of returning to bless you in the end.
Remember the words of Scripture: ” I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)