Melody ’s life is an adventure that just keeps unfolding. Besides writing songs she is also known internationally as an author and a minister. She is fearless when it comes to tackling difficult issues and bold in her travels. She has been to over 30 nations to speak at retreats, conferences, and church services… as well ministering to men and women in prisons, refugee camps, remote villages, leper colonies, underground churches, and those living in war zones.
Her best selling book, “No Compromise. The Life Story of Keith Green” has become a must-read classic, translated into numerous languages. Melody’s “ministry articles” are distributed as LDM WiseTracts by the multi-millions, especially her groundbreaking Pro-Life message, “Children Things We Throw Away” which at last count, 10 years ago, over 20 million had been distributed.
Melody Green is the previous wife of singer and songwriter, Keith Green. Click here to read his bio.
A documentary about the life of Keith Green is also available on YouTube.
His own personal shield carrier walked before him. An awesome sight, to say the least. Just imagine the sunlight glinting off of all that hardware! His name was Goliath, and he challenged the Army of God to send someone to fight him. “Kill me,” Goliath said, “and we Philistines will serve you - but if I win, you will serve us.” The battle lines were drawn. It was all or nothing.
Morning and evening, for 40 days, Goliath stood snarling on the battlefield, shouting, “I defy the armies of Israel this day; give me a man that we may fight together.” But his fierce threats and visual impact alone were enough to keep the Army of God paralyzed. They were afraid. God wanted to give them the victory - but they were losing by default!
Enter young David with his bread and cheese delivery. Strong in faith and practical in conviction, he couldn’t bear to see God humiliated. He says, “Who is this uncircumcised (ungodly) Philistine, that he should taunt the Armies of the living God?” When David told King Saul that he would fight Goliath, Saul said, “Are you crazy? Goliath was killing people before you could even walk. He’ll have you for breakfast!” (My paraphrase.) But that didn’t scare David. He had risked his life killing wild animals to defend sheep, how much more zealously should he defend the name of the Lord? God’s honor was at stake.
Wearing no armor, and visibly vulnerable except for his shepherd’s staff, a pouch of small stones, and a sling, David approached Goliath. Goliath, full of contempt and insulted that David was even considered a worthy match, said with sarcasm, “Am I a dog that you come to me with sticks?”
David replied:
“You come to me with a sword, a spear, and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands, and I will strike you down and remove your head from you. . . that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the Lord does not deliver by sword or by spear; for the battle is the Lord’s and He will give you into our hands.”
As Goliath came forward, David confidently ran towards him and took his best shot. The stone sunk deep into Goliath’s forehead, and he fell to the ground. David grabbed Goliath’s sword, killed him, and took his bead. When the Philistines saw that their champion was dead, they made a hasty retreat. However; they were overcome and defeated by the Army of God. (I Samuel 17)
Amazing? A miracle? It was neither. David simply believed God. What was in David’s heart for God was translated into action. Love is as love does.
We are in the 1980s, but there is a giant roaming the land today. Much like Goliath, this giant, through fear and intimidation, has almost totally immobilized the Army of God. He is overwhelming in size, and his shadow alone sends the bravest of heart into pains of unbelief. The scary thing about him is that he is very hard to see. Occasionally a few of his victims appear to tell their story, but many people never see him face to face - they only hear terrible rumors about the damage done elsewhere. (Actually, some refuse to believe the “horror stories” are true, and prefer to live peacefully, totally ignoring the supposed problem giant.) But in reality, this giant is loud and ugly, and he possesses an uncanny power to scare off almost everyone who even thinks about opposing him. As Goliath of old, he holds his ground for lack of a challenger. Some leaders who are responsible for different segments of God’s Army seem to be saying, “It’s terrible, but it’s to be expected. Things are getting worse in these last days. There’s nothing we can really do about it, so why try.” And so, life goes on - for some people that is.
The giant’s name is Abortion and the vast Army of God is shivering in their boots.
Recently a good friend looked me in the eye and said, “Do you believe you will see abortion defeated in your lifetime?” I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t make a sound for several seconds until I stammered, “… uh, well, I’ve never thought of that… But I’ll sure spend my life trying!!” I was cornered, and I knew it. I was embarrassed, too. There I was, writing, marching, speaking against abortion… and all without a clear vision of victory. I’d been going in obedience because I knew I must. Win or lose, it was the right thing to do. But all of a sudden I saw that something was missing. Where was my faith? Could I close my eyes and see a time in the future when abortion would be outlawed? I couldn’t. I was marching in the army, but without hope of winning the battle. I was walking in the sin of unbelief! I didn’t have the faith because I hadn’t asked for it… “whatever is not from faith is sin.” (Rom. 14:23)
Later in prayer I asked Jesus to please forgive me for my unbelief. He did. He also encouraged me and showed me that we Christians are a lot closer to victory than we think. We just need to get out into the battle!
Here are a few questions for you:
Does God approve of abortion?
What do you think God would like to do about abortion right now?
Why isn’t He doing it?
Do you believe abortion can be defeated?
Why are most Christians so apathetic when it comes to really being involved in seeing abortion defeated? I used to think that ignorance of the facts was the reason. But I don’t think that’s a valid excuse anymore. If anyone is uninformed today (in America, anyway) it’s because they want to be. A purposeful “sticking your head in the sand” so to speak. The facts are readily available to anyone who cares enough to find out what they are. No, ignorance is not the reason. We are not active in seeing abortion defeated because:
- We Are Not Close Enough to God Most of us are not as close to God as we should be. How can we boldly trust Him for “the impossible” if we are living in a state of unbelief? How can we make personal, sometimes very costly, sacrifices of ourselves and our time if we are self-centered instead of Christ-centered? Obviously, we can’t.
As we get closer to God, we will understand the things that He has on His heart - for us, and for our nation as a whole. I’m not speaking only in regards to the pro-life issue, but most importantly, for the eternal life issue of our souls. Get close to God so you can love Him and serve Him with a whole heart in everything He asks you to do. (However, remember that an active involvement in anything except the Lord Himself does not necessarily indicate a deep relationship with Jesus.)
- Because We Are Not Close Enough To god, We Don’t Have the Faith To Believe Abortion Can Be Defeated If David had anything, he had faith. Remember slavery? It wasn’t that long ago in this country that the Supreme Court said it was legal for one person to own another person. Slaves were property. You could beat them, sell them, trade them, or kill them. Black people were not fully human, they said. Slavery was convenient for those of the “right” color, just as abortion is convenient for those of the “right” age. In those days it was probably difficult to imagine life without it. However, today slavery is not only illegal, but even the thought of it is repulsive. Slavery was never right even though it was legal for a time. Just as slavery was overturned, let’s grab onto an overcoming faith that can believe God for the defeat of abortion as well.
As David proved, one with the Lord is a majority. But our apathy renders us useless. David had faith that Goliath would be defeated. He was also willing to be the instrument that God used to do it. “Greater Is He that is in us, than he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4)
- We Dont Want To “Get Involved In Politics.” Many Christians say, “I want to do something about abortion, but I don’t want to get involved in politics!” There is a misconception that political action is unspiritual and that the truly righteous would never be involved. Yes, it can be ungodly, and sometimes it is, but it doesn’t have to be. Politics in itself is not evil.
What does “not being involved” actually mean? Does it mean not voting or picketing or lobbying or counseling or marching or praying? I hope it doesn’t mean not caring. But for many Christians the whole realm of abortion has been driven to the “political junkyard” and left there to not. Hopefully, “someone else” will clean up the mess.
Let’s take a closer look. Politics is “the science and art of governing a country." Now, for a Christian to say, “I don’t want to be involved in governing my country," sounds a bit like dropping the ball to me. The enemy is singing us a lullaby of praise for “not getting involved in politics.” Meanwhile, during our nap, he has gathered power and momentum for himself. I suggest that it’s time to wake up. If abortion laws are to be changed, it will be through political action. Through “the system.” And to a large degree, we will need to be involved - at the very least, vote. To ignore or deny this fact is totally unrealistic. When we leave the decision making to the godless, we have no right to complain about the laws we end up living under. “With good men in authority, the people rejoice; but with the wicked in power, they groan.” (Proverbs 29:2)
One final note on this. Many people who say that they don’t want to be involved with politics actually mean they are afraid of becoming like some people they’ve seen in politics. Or they don’t want to get caught up in “political machinery.” In other words, they are afraid to be involved. Afraid that God will not help them maintain their Christian witness. Afraid of what people might think. Afraid it will be too much trouble. Afraid of defeat. Afraid to face the giant. Afraid.
Whatever the fear, it is effective in blocking a major flow of godly influence in the world today.
“The good influence of godly citizens causes a city [state or nation I to prosper…” (Proverbs 11:11)
Not one Christian should be silent when it comes to abortion. Christians are not in favor of abortion, but only a few are doing anything about it. There’s a creative way for each person, no matter what their limitations may be, to be active.
Let’s look at David. He was just making a food delivery to the front lines when he encountered Goliath. His response could have easily been, “This is terrible, but it isn’t really any of my business. This could get pretty messy. I’m going back to my sheep…” But David didn’t say that. As a lover of God it was his business. He had no choice but to fight. So God bypassed the “Israeli SWAT Team” and honored Himself through David.
The Army of God cowered for 40 days before David came along. But we have shrunk back for over 10 years! God has been humiliated long enough. It’s time to move! The weaker you are, the greater the potential there is for God’s glory. Today we need hundreds of thousands of Davids. When you become a Christian you’re automatically drafted into God’s Army, flat feet and all. We must fight for what is right. We are not talking about a slight infraction of an insignificant law. Abortion is murder. Cold-blooded, premeditated murder. Every Christian must speak out loud and clear. It is our business!
So what can we do? The answer to that is A LOT. However, the issue of abortion is such an emotional one that there’s a temptation to let those emotions rule us to some degree. There are many avenues of action to talk about, but first let’s make sure we’re not running off to battle with faulty hearts and faulty ammunition. We must have the right motives and the right priorities if we expect to see a victory.
We have much to learn from David when it comes to facing giants. Using him as an example let’s look at a few things we will need for victory:
Jesus is your strength and your foundation. This point cannot be overemphasized. David was prepared to take on Goliath because of his deep relationship with the Lord. His skills were sharp both in the physical and the spiritual because he walked faithfully with God. We need to be prepared too. Before you get up on your feet, get down on your knees. Ask God for a move of His Holy Spirit in your life and then let Him direct your steps.
In order to fight the enemy, we need to know who he is. Sounds simple, but many times we lose sight of the obvious. Satan is our enemy. He hates God and hates those who love God. He’s so wicked, he even hates the people who love him. Satan delights in destroying what God loves, and abortion is only one of the ways he does it. We are dealing with high powers and principalities here, so sharpen your swords. David was clothed in the full armor of God before he went out to fight. Make sure you are too! (Eph. 6:10-17)
Love For God David’s motivating force was his love for God. In dealing with abortion we need that same love. We need to love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength; and to love our neighbor as ourselves. That’s the correct order. Only when we love God as we should, can we truly love others.
Abortion is breaking God’s heart. How would you feel if you could see every abortion taking place, not to mention every other wicked and horrible thing happening on this earth? God sees it all. He carries that pressure and hurt everyday. He hears every broken cry and sees every broken body. What a comfort it must be for Him to feel our love in a world that has largely forsaken Him. We must let God work His will through us, for His glory-because we love Him.
Love For the Victims It’s easy to love the innocent little babies who are the victims of abortion. Their slaughter is an unspeakable evil. Why do we love them? God made them lovable. He also gave us the capacity to love.
These little children like all of us are made in His image and they belong to God. They are totally defenseless. They cannot speak for themselves. It’s not hard to see why we must speak up, not only for their sake but for the Lord as well.
Some people find it more difficult, although still relatively easy, to love the young women who are getting the abortions. They too are victims. Not wholly innocent victims, but victims of their own sin and their lack of relationship with Jesus. Some seeking abortion are in very desperate situations, others are more casual about it. Whatever the reason, we need to love these young women as much as we love the babies they are carrying. Their souls are equally precious to God.
Love For Your Enemies Perhaps the hardest people to love are those who are in some way promoting abortion. But Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Does that mean we are to love the abortion doctors, nurses, clinic workers, women’s libbers, and too-liberal lawmakers? That’s exactly what it means. These people are not our enemies, they are pawns in the enemy’s game. Willing pawns, yes, but God wants to reach them anyway. Sadly, I’ve seen tremendous amounts of bitterness expressed towards these people. They have been mocked and made fun of in the most unkind ways. If we fall into sinful attitudes it just blocks our fellowship with God, giving Satan one more victory.
We should hate the things these people do, and we must oppose them at every turn. But we cannot hate them. Remember the saying, “God hates the sin, but loves the sinner.” Isn’t this what brought most of us to God? Knowing that He first loved us, in spite of the sinful state we were in.
We need to be channels for God’s love. It’s true that pro-abortionists are taking a segment of society, the unborn, and declaring them to have no value. But if we aren’t willing to love the proabortionists, in essence, we are saying that they as a “people group” have no value. We must find creative ways to share the love of Jesus with them. Obviously, unless they turn to Jesus in humility and repentance, they will have to account for their acts before the throne of God. It will be an awesome and terrible day when all they can receive from God is justice. The time for mercy and grace is now. So in your rescuing, see if you might also snatch some of these out from the fire. (Jude 23)
David went to Goliath in truth. He went boldly in the name of the Lord. David didn’t expect victory because it was a good idea, but because he knew he was on God’s side. In fact, he boldly predicted his victory because he was coming in the name of the Lord. He didn’t go into battle trying to hide anything. If we are ashamed of the Lord, He will be ashamed of us. (Luke,9:26)
What is the truth? You can argue about the age of viability, the pain the baby suffers during an abortion, the guilt the mother suffers, medical ethics, the pros and cons of adoption, etc., until you’re blue in the face. They are all excellent points, but if someone doesn’t have an understanding of absolute right and wrong, it’s all open for debate. Without a biblical foundation of truth, it’s all opinion - and everyone has a right to their own opinion! However, when God speaks, we are not dealing with just anyone’s opinion - we are talking about God’s opinion. His opinion is called truth. He will uphold His truth with His power. The bottom line is this: God says abortion is wrong. Every other pro-life argument only further supports the fact that God is right.
Sometimes people’s opinions happen to agree with God’s truth, but they don’t have a relationship with the God of that truth. Merely fighting for a godly cause does not necessarily mean you are a godly person. God may call you to work with people who do not know Him. Remember to love them. Their work towards defeating abortion shows that they already have strong convictions. That they know at least a part of the truth when they see it - and that they are committed to it. You just need to hook them up with the Author of that truth. You may have a mission field in your local pro-life office. Don’t overlook it on the way to the clinics.
How did David deal with Goliath? He ran towards him! He didn’t wait for Goliath to chase him down. He didn’t back off into a corner and wait until the last minute to sling his stone. He was the aggressor. He took the initiative and defeated him in an act of courage that stunned everyone.
Don’t wait for abortion to “come to your door.” Find out where it is and go out and meet it head on.
Goliath was covered in armor. All of his vital organs were protected. But David carefully appraised the situation and went in with a plan. I’m sure he had already seen Goliath’s vulnerable spot, and so knew exactly what he was aiming for. He went to the brook himself and carefully picked his stones - a good time to seek God. A stone too big may have crashed into part of Goliath’s helmet, not giving enough impact to down the giant, and one too small would be ineffective. But David knew what would be too much and what would be too little because he had a plan. A strategy. He knew where he wanted to place that stone before he hit the battlefield.
Wisdom. Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Look for the hole in the armor. Ask God to show you the enemy’s weak spots. Ask Him to give you a plan.
Be ready for some “fiery darts” when you step out. They may hit you in the streets talking to young women, from your family, or even from Christian friends. Whatever the source, be assured, they will come. I recently spoke with two girls who were very discouraged because many people in their church thought they were “weird” because they were so actively against abortion. There’s potential for real hurt when your friends don’t understand. But look at David. His own brother accused him of wrong motives, and his king didn’t exactly give him a vote of confidence. But David didn’t let those things interfere with his decision. He had heard from God, and he wasn’t going to be sidetracked. Just keep a humble, teachable heart and always respond in love.
We Christians are sometimes tempted to compromise our beliefs since there are so many other good reasons to be opposing abortion. Maybe we want to “fit in” or want to see bigger numbers in our ranks. When we water down the Gospel, we are watering down our power and effectiveness as well. If glorifying God is not your ultimate goal, something else is. Maybe political power, recognition, or just personal good feelings of value and worth. These things are substitutes for the peace and joy that only Jesus can bring. Although you may get great gratification from being involved with a worthy cause, good deeds don’t get anyone to heaven.
Christians working for pro-life must be pro-Jesus first. He must be our focus. We must be careful not to allow ourselves to be consumed by a cause, rather than consumed by Jesus. Giving even a godly cause priority above our personal relationship with God will grieve Him. Jesus must be our foundation - otherwise we may see our own eternal life sacrificed on the altar of worthy causes.
Jesus is the hub of the wheel. Everything else in our life must radiate out like spokes from that central point of faith, worship, and devotion.
Everyone knew Israel said they believed in the One True God. But their lack of action made a very loud statement. If their God was real then why were they so afraid? Didn’t they believe their God would give them victory?
The average man on the street knows that Christians are against abortion. If the millions of Christians in this nation alone stepped out, it would cause quite astir. But all is quiet on the western front. Our passiveness tells the world that we don’t really believe what we say we believe. If we did, we couldn’t stand to live in the midst of these murders without doing anything about them. Have we simply “adjusted our theology” to accept these acts of violence? If our God is real, then why haven’t we met the challenge of the enemy?
Our lack of action implies consent. Agreement. All talk but no action. No threat to the enemy. God says, “Thou shall not murder.” We act like either He didn’t actually say it, or if He did, He didn’t mean it.
David went against Goliath because he wanted to prove to the world that God is real. His goal was “…that the earth may know that there is a God.” (I Samuel 17.46) That must be our final goal as well. That the earth may know that there is a God!
Getting the abortion laws changed is an excellent short-term goal. The sooner abortion is outlawed the better. A change of laws will glorify God in this nation and around the world as well. God will be honored, and people will be able to see that His way is indeed the best way.
However, if getting the laws changed is your ultimate goal, you’re stopping short of the mark. After the laws are changed, then what? A self-centered, godless mentality is the soil in which abortion is flourishing. These laws are only a reflection of our rebellion against God. You cannot legislate morality or spirituality into people’s hearts. When abortion is outlawed, people who want one bad enough will still find a way to get one. It’s against the law to shoot people with guns. It still happens.
May I suggest that on the way to seeing the laws changed we have an even higher goal: Changing people’s hearts. Bringing the reality of Jesus to everyone we encounter. Only a relationship with God can change people’s hearts. When hearts are changed, right choices are made. Think on this: Someone visited our ministry recently and asked if people around here were allowed to smoke. One of our elders answered, “I’ve never thought about that before. We’ve never needed a smoking rule. No one’s ever wanted to.”
Prayerfully consider each point before moving ahead into action. Everything you do will be so much more effective when you have a strong foundation in Christ. When you are in communion with God it releases Him to release you! Only then will you have the power and anointing needed to defeat this, or any other, giant. Wherever you see a weak area, ask the Lord to help you be what you need to be and I know that He will. Remember, in our weakness Christ can be strong. I believe God wants to use Christians to defeat abortion. If we don’t fight, who else is going to? He wants to use each of us in a special way. We need to move out quickly, but in His strength, not our own.
When you’re ready to go, please read Abortion: Avenues For Action (Ref. #062). You can order it from us free of charge. It tells you about the different things you can do to take a stand with God against abortion. Hopefully, you’ll even come up with a few ideas of your own!
With the Lord, the victory is ours. Can we refuse to step out and take it?
“It seems that our 16-year-old likes to be responsible for either of our two cars, but not for washing the dishes or cleaning the tub or setting the table. Sure, if we pay her to clean the house, she will vacuum - but not very well. She feels she must love our neighbor, but not her nine-year-old sister. We find she speaks respectfully to those in church, but not to us. After all, dad isn’t even a Christian - and all mom does is lecture! There seems to be an 11th commandment, ‘Thou shalt work hard every place …except at home.’
“It is very difficult for me, as a parent, to get help at the local church when they see my daughter as ‘perfect.’ And it is also very difficult to even get prayer support when the reply is, ‘Be thankful she’s not on drugs, or out running around.’ I am grateful she isn’t doing these things, but it is hard to share the love of Jesus if we aren’t proving it at home.
“Our daughter is a very good girl, but she isn’t very loving to her family, and I feel that is where we really must practice the love Jesus has given us. I feel it is wrong to moan and groan over having to wash dishes or vacuum or hang up clothing. And I’ve noticed among Christian teens it is a sport to slander their parents’ character, with tales of who’s the most severe, unreasonable, and strict. I caught her in this sport. She admitted it, but never apologized. She will say the words, I’m sorry, but not with her heart - and this is a very serious spiritual condition.
‘Any attempt on my part to bring her to a repentant heart only brings the retort, ‘Will you stop lecturing me!’ But I hurt for my child and for myself. I want so much to get close to her and love her - but right now this doesn’t seem possible. And until it is, I pray a lot for wisdom and courage, and for her eyes to be opened to the love this parent has for her.
“Thank you for hearing me out.
“I love you people,”
(Name kept anonymous)
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” -Phil. 2:3-4
I responded to this letter shortly after receiving it, but the thought of answering it openly has always been in the back of my mind. I feel that the problem expressed by this mother is shared by many, and even goes beyond just “problem teen-agers.” I think it applies to all of us in one way or another - and that each of us can learn something from this mother’s dilemma.
“You always hurt the ones you love,” are the words to an old song. I used to nod my head in agreement… that is until I became a Christian. Now I know that those words are simply not true. They should be changed to, “You always hurt the ones you love less than you love yourself!” As I look back to all the times I’ve hurt those closest to me, I can honestly say that most of it was due to pure selfishness on my part. I wanted what I wanted - and I figured that those who loved me most were the most likely to continue loving me, no matter how I acted. They were committed to a relationship with me - they’d never say “get lost.” Why, they understood my “moods” and knew “I really didn’t mean to be such a jerk.”
The hardest testing ground for our Christianity is right in our own homes - with our parents, our brothers and sisters, our husbands and wives, and our children. If we can’t prove our Christianity there, we can’t prove it anywhere! If we won’t go the extra mile for those we literally share our lives with, who are we trying to kid when we knock ourselves out by being “super spiritual” at the Bible Study? You may be fooling your friends at church, but at home, in the eyes of those who know you best, you are nothing but a religious hypocrite - following in the footsteps of the Pharisees.1 Real Christian love should start at home with those closest to you - and spread out to others from there. If on Judgment Day, God called your family as witnesses to your sincerity and example of serving Jesus - how do you think they would rate you?
Some Questions For Teens You may be a teenager living at home like the girl described in this letter. Let me ask you a few simple questions: Do you cheerfully obey your parents in doing all they ask of you?2 Do you respect them in your actions, attitudes, and manner of conversation? Can you receive a “no” as willingly as a “yes”? Do you do extra little things that you know will bring them joy, or do you fill their days with grief because of your selfish attitudes? Do you do your chores in a sloppy, half-hearted way, or do you “forget” them until mom gives up and does them herself?3 Do you argue, pout, and throw yourself around when you can’t have your own way?4 Are you rude and sarcastic - refusing to be corrected?5 Do you mock your parents behind their back?6Do you resent spending time with your younger brothers and sisters - helping mom with them, playing with them, teaching them? Do you sometimes lie - by telling only “part of the story”?7Do you raise your hands at your youth group to praise God before men8 - but grumble and consider it a “supreme sacrifice” whenever you’re asked to lift your hands to help around the house - or do you insist on being paid for it? Do you call yourself a Christian?
What About Mom And Dad? I have unfortunately come across this problem with teenagers before, and it is a very sad one. However, as I see it, they are not the only ones who sometimes find it hard to be a Christian at home. I think this problem can extend out to every member of the family.
A very wise man who’s been a Christian some 60 odd years once said to me, “I can always tell how spiritual a man is by the way he treats his wife.” Husbands, are you kind, courteous, and patient - or do you growl and snap at the slightest provocation?9 Do people at church see you as a real “spiritual giant” - while at home your family is starving for godly guidance, encouragement, and example?10 Do you exasperate your children, causing them to lose heart, instead of bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord?11 Do you share God’s Word with others, but neglect to live it at home - ignoring family worship and Bible Study?12
And what about us wives - do we whine, nag, and manipulate to get our own way?13Are we totally honest about everything, or do we keep things from our husbands - telling them “little white” lies?14 Do we consider it more spiritual to serve on church committees than to serve our family - cooking, cleaning, washing, and caring - making a real home for them?15 Do we (even in “small” ways) show a lack of respect for our husband’s authority to our children - teaching them rebellion and deceitfulness and thus invalidating the Word of God?16
Smile… You’re On Candid Camera If someone hid a secret camera in your home for a day, then showed the film the following Sunday at church, would you be ashamed for them to see the way you really treated each other when no one else was around? Do you go out of your way to serve or to he served?17Do you do the things you know will please, whether you are asked to or not? Do you quickly say you’re sorry - and really mean it - when you are wrong?18Are you a godly example of Jesus to your children, showing them by your actions as well as your words what it means to love God-or do they see you at your worst… maybe even taking it out on them when you get in a bad mood?
Some Excuses I think everyone has a tendency to rationalize their ungodly actions at home because - “They know I’m pressured by final exams,” or “I had a terrible day at work,” or “The washing machine broke down again!” We would never have the nerve to take our frustrations out on our friends the same way we do on our family. We know if we did, they probably wouldn’t stay our friends for long! It’s really hard to understand how we can be so insensitive to the very people who have loved us and sacrificed the most for us. Why are we so quick to see their shortcomings - and so very slow to forgive, forget, and go on with them in tenderness and lovingkindness?19
Of course, when you live with others, their faults are more readily exposed - but then, so are yours. This just makes it all the more necessary to continually walk in the Spirit - with plenty of grace, forbearance, and mercy towards one another.20 The home is a true testing ground and a real place of potential spiritual growth. We are constantly being sandpapered by those around us - the rough edges and snags becoming smoothed and polished. God uses us in this way with each other. If we see it in this light, we have a real opportunity to become more and more like Jesus. If we are self-righteous, stubborn, and constantly demanding our “rights” - we will not only be a grief to God, but a real source of misery to those who have to live with us.21
What Can Be Done? If you have been falling short of the calling of God in your home - failing to be a constant example of Jesus - you need to fall on your knees before God and ask His forgiveness. Your home has been a refuge for your flesh far too long.22 Do not take this matter lightly, for you have mocked God by living in such a disgraceful manner - bringing shame to the holy name of Jesus. You must repent immediately!23
Once you have ceased your rebellion and again become right with God, you need to go to each person you have offended, and with your whole heart, ask them to forgive you for the hurt you have caused them. Don’t leave anyone out… from the youngest to the oldest. You must especially ask forgiveness of those who are not Christians - or how will they ever see in you the humble spirit and contrite heart of a true believer?24 Perhaps you may want to call a family meeting and speak to everyone at once. However you decide to do it - do it quickly. Your rebellion toward God has been evident to all, and amends must be made. If you consider yourself a Christian, you must not delay in setting everything right. If you hesitate, you not only deceive yourself, but you make those around you see that serving God is a waste of time, since it has borne no real or lasting fruit in your life. You will remain a hypocrite in the eyes of your family, and in the eyes of God, unless you set your heart and mind to this matter immediately and determine to prove Jesus is real not only by the things you say, but by the way that you live!25
“Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore, and repent.,’ -Rev. 3:19
A Word To Parents “For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.” -I Samuel 3:13
This word of the Lord was given to Eli the priest, who was an unfaithful father. Eli honored his sons above God (I Samuel 2:29) because he allowed them to openly sin - without taking any effective actions to correct them. We are commanded in the Bible to diligently discipline our children if we really love them. (Proverbs 13:24) To allow them to sin and walk in rebellion goes directly against everything the Bible teaches. Yet why is it so many Christian parents have such a hard time obeying God when it comes to this?
I think part of the problem is that parents tend to look at their children’s sin - instead of their own. They throw up their hands in exasperation and say, “Well, if he wants to live that way, it’s his choice.” This is true to an extent - but I think many parents shun their biblical responsibilities with older children because the task sometimes seems impossible. (Psalm 28:7)
Some Guidelines As long as a child is under his parents’ roof, he should be expected to be an active member of the family. If he is allowed to treat his home like a “boarding house,” coming and going as he pleases with no duties or chores, how will he ever learn godly discipline and responsibility?
He should also be expected to comply with the “rules of the house.” If none are set up - they should he! They don’t necessarily have to be written out, but they need to be communicated and understood. If these standards are not met, there should be consequences to be paid - which also need to be understood. Yelling and tirades of accusations are definitely out - instead, what is needed are swift and direct penalties in accordance to the disobedience. You must be fair and reasonable, always disciplining in love and remembering not to provoke your child to anger (Eph.6:4) - but you must he firm. You have to let them know that their bad attitudes, rudeness, refusals to help, etc., simply cannot and will not be tolerated. (Proverbs29:15,17) Remember, your son can’t take the car unless you give him the keys… no matter how much he fusses. God will give you guidelines for the balance between love and discipline if you diligently seek Him - but whatever you do, don’t neglect to discipline for fear that your children won’t love you. (Matt. 10:37) Fear the Lord, not your kids. (Deut. 8:5) If you act obediently, your children will rise up and bless you - maybe not tomorrow, but in the end they will rejoice that you really loved them enough to care about their souls. (Proverbs 31:28)
The Right Balance Many parents go to extremes - either they are too heavy-handed and oppressive or they let their kids sin without doing much about it. Both extremes are wrong - and they both show selfishness and lack of love on the part of the parents. It takes time and patience to discipline properly - this will mean discipline for the parents too! If you permit your kids to act in ways that violate their own consciences - in ways that they know are wrong - then you are allowing them to harden their hearts against God. Ignoring their sin is just programming them for apostasy! How will they ever obey God in the big things, if they won’t even obey you in the small? Yes, there comes a time when they have to make their own choices, but as long as you have a hand in their life, it is utter rebellion on your part to allow such behavior to go on. (I Samuel 15:22-23) It is not merely a suggestion that you should raise up your children in the right way - but a command. (Proverbs 22:6) Why do so many parents see discipline as an option? Many times it’s the parents’ rebellion to God in this area that’s inspiring their children’s rebellion - both to God, and to them. The answer is not easy - but you have to start somewhere.
Sassy, rebellious teens should not be treated as if “nothing is wrong.” Refusing to confront the issue may bring a momentary peace, but it will not uproot the sin from their heart. Immediate action is necessary. Sometimes previous plans need to be canceled or activities missed because of sin or lack of a repentant heart. Special privileges and allowances are also things that can be temporarily stopped or modified if necessary. Remember, the wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23), and it’s more loving for your children to experience a little chastisement now, than to suffer eternally because no one cared enough to see that they didn’t become hardened to the voice of the Lord. Teenagers need a tremendous amount of prayer, love, and counsel, but they also need guidelines. In their hearts they are looking for someone to pull the reins in on them - their souls are crying out for it. They don’t need you to be their “buddy” when they are in rebellion. They need the parent that God gave them to set up godly boundaries and to be diligent to see that they stay within them. (Proverbs 22:15)
Your Mission In Life The most important job you have is raising your children in the ways of the Lord. You can’t worry about what your children or others may say. You have to be obedient to God. You have to be right in His eyes. True love corrects, reproves, and disciplines. (Proverbs 13:24) Are you willing to stand by and let your kids go to hell because it’s easier than trying to deal with them in a godly way? (Proverbs 23:13-14) You have to face it - they may not have years ahead to “sow their wild oats” - they may be in a fatal accident tomorrow. If that were to happen, would you have the peace of knowing that you did all you could towards the salvation of their souls?
Many Christian parents assume their kids are Christians because they “went forward” when they were five - or because they are involved with the church youth group. This can be very dangerous. If your child is not showing forth real fruit of salvation - there probably isn’t any! Be sure you have a realistic view of your child’s state with the Lord.
If you see that you have fallen short of your responsibility as a parent, you must seek God’s forgiveness for your lack of obedience and determine to be the parent the Bible talks about. (Deut. 32:46; 1 Chron. 28:9) Do it now - while there is still time. (Proverbs 19:18)