Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I remember being physically and emotionally wrung out during an intense speaking schedule. I’d become negative and hard to live with. And I justified my behavior because I was so exhausted.
Right at that moment a friend looked me in the eye and said, “Don’t let tiredness be an excuse for carnality.” That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear at that moment, but it was just what I needed to hear.
You’re going to face some exhausting moments this week. Maybe it feels like you don’t do anything but make meals, clean up, take care of kids, pay bills, and fall into bed exhausted. It’s okay to admit that you’re tired. It’s right to cry out to God in desperation. It’s okay to ask people for help. But it’s not okay to sin.
When your energy ends before your to-do list, remember this: “Don’t let tiredness be an excuse for carnality.”
“He has no idea what romance is.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Our expectations of people can be like a prison.“Would it hurt her to call once in a while?”
“When it comes to romance, he’s got no clue.”Nancy: People will never fully meet our expectations. Perhaps you feel like someone has consistently let you down. Maybe it’s time to give up your expectations of how they should serve you and focus instead on how you can serve them.
I remember having a hard time loving an individual life. A turning point came when I decided to release them from my idea of how they should love me. The relationship started to heal once I repented of my lovelessness and let God fill me with His love.
Is there someone locked in the prison of your expectations? Ask God to show you how to focus on meeting their needs rather than your own.
http://www.seekinghim.com/radio/today.php/04/04/2011
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Around your house does it seem like “washing up” never ends?
“As soon as I finish washing up after breakfast, it's time to dirty more dishes at lunch.”Nancy: It’s been that way for thousands of years. We even read about it in stories of the Old Testament tabernacle.
Before he could enter the Holy Place, the priest had to offer an animal sacrifice for his sin. Then he would move to a bronze basin and wash his hands. He returned to that basin throughout the day because he kept needing to wash.
That’s a picture of our relationship with God. Like that priest, we need a sacrifice for our sins. Jesus made that ultimate sacrifice on the cross. But also like that priest, our hands get dirty. We’ve been made right with God, yet we still sin.
That’s why we need to be washed by the Word of God, over and over again. Are you letting His Word cleanse your heart each day?
“Yeah, I'm a good person. I'm a Christian. I've been a Christian since I was little.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: That’s the mindset of a lot of people. Salvation is something that happens to you, and then you forget about it.“Yeah, I’m a Christian. I walked down an aisle when I was eight or maybe nine and repeated this prayer.”
“I grew up in a Christian family so . . .”
“The preacher said I was saved forever—no matter what.”
“Been there, done that.”Nancy: But the apostle Paul told the Corinthians, “Examine yourselves and make sure that you are in the faith.” That verse implies that there’s an ongoing examination in the life of every true believer. Someone who’s been genuinely converted loves Christ so much that he doesn’t want any kind of sin to get in the way of his relationship with the Lord.
Have you examined yourself recently? Are you in the faith? What evidence is there that you have an ongoing, life-changing relationship with Jesus?
“Did you play more video games at work today?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When someone’s watching you, it has a way of affecting your behavior. We tend to be better behaved when we’re with other people than when we’re alone. But the apostle Paul reminds us that we’re never truly alone. In 1 Timothy 5 he says, “I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions.”“No, my boss was looking over my shoulder all day.”
In other words, Jesus is watching. God is watching, and angels are watching. That should encourage us to obey.
So the next time you find yourself alone and you’re tempted to sin, remember that you’re not alone. Even when it seems like no one else is around, you’re still accountable to God. And He sees everything. In fact, that’s what it means to live in the fear of the Lord.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We all face moments of surrender to God’s will.
“We’re here in this new city where I don’t know anybody. I know God wants us to be here, but I feel so lonely.”
Nancy: When Abraham left everything behind to follow God, all he had to hold on to were the promises God had given him for children and land. For 25 years, Abraham never saw any evidence that the promise would be fulfilled. Sometimes we’re called to persevere like that.
“I never expected marriage to be this hard.”
Nancy: Second Peter says we have “exceeding great and precious promises.” Like Abraham, when things look bleak, we can cling to those promises. If you’re struggling to persevere, encourage your heart with the promises of God. And remind yourself that God always keeps His word.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I find it easy to rush right through a day without taking time to evaluate whether I’m doing the right things from the right motives. Sometimes I need to stop and examine my life.
The Puritan writer, John Fletcher, used a series of questions to examine his heart.
- Do I have pride?
- Am I dead to all desire for praise?
- Do I have the presence of God in my life?
- Am I free from the fear of man?
- Do I embrace the cross in every way it presents itself to me?
- Am I willing to give up my ease and my convenience to minister to others?
- Am I ready to give up a point when I am contradicted?
- Am I content with whatever is or may be, feeling that God, the Author of all events, does and will do all for my good?
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: What would happen if you randomly pulled things out of the refrigerator at lunchtime?
“What kind of sandwich are you eating?!”Nancy: As crazy as that sounds, we can take a similar approach when it comes to reading the Bible.“Looks like I’ve got some jelly, mustard, whipped cream, uh . . . something from a green container. Want a bite?”
“YUK!”
“Well, let’s see. This is as good a spot as any. ‘And the foreigners who join themselves to the LORD . . .’"Nancy: If we take parts of the Scripture out of context, we could miss the meaning altogether. We need to read systematically. Verses make sense in light of chapters. Chapters make sense in light of whole books.
If you’re not in the habit of reading systematically, could I encourage you to choose one book of the Bible? Read it through to understand the big picture. Then carefully study it, and savor the details that you find.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When I turned 12, I think I cried every day for a year—for no obvious reason. I can look back on it and understand that a lot of changes were taking place in my body. But I also realize that those changes were no excuse for moodiness, mouthiness, and disrespect.
I’m still tempted to justify my sin. Maybe you can relate. As women, it’s easy to make excuses for negative moods because of where they are in their monthly cycle or other challenges such as pregnancy or menopause.
Women do go through seasons that are emotionally and physically difficult. But this verse from 1 Thessalonians applies during every season of life and every time of the month:
“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless. . . . The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”
“I don’t know. It could be a little red.”
“I think I’m going to call the doctor.”
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When you experience some physical symptom, you want to make sure everything’s okay.
“Do I feel hot to you?”
“Ummm, maybe.”
“Maybe I should get the thermometer.”
Nancy: But when you start to think something’s wrong spiritually, are you as quick to diagnose the problem?
“I hope I didn’t offend her. Oh, I’ll deal with it in my prayer time tomorrow. I’ll probably remember it then.”
Nancy: When our consciences bother us, we need to get to the root of the problem. Ignoring sin in our lives is even more dangerous than ignoring a fever, rash, or aches and pains. So the next time your conscience bothers you, don’t just ignore the symptoms. Agree with God about His diagnosis, and ask Him to show you how to make it right.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When God calls you to do something, He provides everything it takes to get it done. God told Abram that he would have a son in his old age. The problem was that Abram’s wife was barren.
So relying on his own ability, Abram tried coming up with plans to help God out. Eventually, God took Abram out into a beautiful starlit night. He wanted Abram to realize how incredibly powerful He was. So God asked Abram to count the stars and then said, “So shall your descendants be.” The Bible says simply, “Abram believed God.”
What has God called you to do? Instead of looking for ways you can fulfill it in your own power, focus on God’s ability. If He can place every star in the sky, surely He has the power to bring about whatever He’s called you to do.
“Well, I asked God to forgive me today. But I feel really embarrassed coming to Him over and over again with the same thing. I just feel like a failure.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The apostle Paul talked about a similar experience in Romans chapter 7. He wanted to do good, but he said, “I see another law at work . . . waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin.”
Every true believer wants to please God, but each of us has a flesh that fights against the Spirit living in us. Every time we choose to sin, we’re establishing habit patterns that can be hard to break. And if we think we don’t have any choice but to sin, that’s exactly what we’ll do.
The good news of the Gospel is that through Christ we have the power to say no to sin, and yes to God.
"’You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.’ Well, maybe there is hope for me.”
“My sister won’t admit she’s done anything. Can I forgive her if she hasn’t asked for forgiveness?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: What keeps you from forgiving?
“Well, doesn’t it mean I’m letting her off the hook?”Nancy: When you forgive someone what you’re really doing is taking them off your hook and transferring them to God’s hook. Forgiveness acknowledges that God is the judge, and vengeance belongs to Him.
The life of Joseph illustrates this. His brothers sold him into slavery. Years later, when he became the second most powerful leader in Egypt, he had the ability to take vengeance. But he said, “Am I in the place of God?” He chose to trust God and forgive.
If there’s someone you refuse to forgive, it really means you’re putting yourself in the place of God. So why not take the offender off your hook and trust the ultimate Judge?
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The Bible calls us to surrender our lives to God, but sometimes we hold back, worried about what we might have to give up.
“Sometimes I feel like if I do what God wants, I won’t have any time for fun.”Nancy: The problem is, the things we want to hold onto don’t really satisfy.
“I didn't get anything done today!"Nancy: We want freedom to do what we want, but sometimes that just puts us in greater bondage.“I’ll give myself to God—as long as I don’t have to give up drinking.”
“Everyone keeps telling me I have a problem with alcohol.”Nancy: Nothing can satisfy our hearts like God Himself. Surrendering to Him could mean giving up some of those things that don’t really satisfy. But is that so bad?
As the psalmist said, “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Are you working in your own strength for things that don’t really satisfy? Or are you trusting God to give you life’s richest pleasures?
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: One of the greatest ways God reveals Himself to us is through the names given to Him in the Bible.
“Jehovah Nissi—He is our victory. Jehovah Rapha—the God who heals.”Nancy: “The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.”
“El Shaddai—Almighty God.”Nancy: When I get overwhelmed, confused, exhausted, I need a safe place where I can run and be protected. I need the name of the Lord.
“Jehovah Jireh—the Lord will provide.”Nancy: Whatever you’re facing, whether it’s a hectic schedule, difficult marriage, a lonely apartment—you need a safe place.
“Jehovah Shalom—God our peace.”Nancy: When you feel overwhelmed or discouraged, run to the name of the Lord and be safe.
“Emmanuel—God with us.”
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: How much attention do you pay to your conscience? Jonathan Edwards was a great man of God in the 1700s, used in the First Great Awakening. But he knew how prone he was to sin. Here’s what he said:
“Whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order… “Nancy: That means, when something’s bothering my conscience…
“ …or I am aware of the least irregularity without…“Nancy: In other words, if I see something in my actions that isn’t consistent with God’s Word…
“I will subject myself to the strictest examination.“Nancy: I won’t let it go on, but I’ll identify the sin, confess it to God, and walk in freedom.
If you listen to your conscience, even when something small is bothering you, it can help protect you from bigger sins. Take some time today, a
“5:00 a.m.—go to the gym. 6:00 a.m.—get the kids ready for school.Nancy Leigh DeMoss: As women, we fall for this idea that we can “do it all.”
“11:00—I've got to write the Jorgensen report. Then by noon I've got to run those cupcakes over to the school.“Nancy: Women who think they’re supposed to juggle every task that comes along usually end up frazzled and frustrated.
“Um, 5:00—I've got to cook something at least a little healthy for dinner. And then 5:27 I've got to take Sarah over to her piano lessons."Nancy: But when we understand what God wants us to do and ask for His help, it leads to freedom and joy.
“6:30—I've got that school fundraiser meeting and the . . . that means I'm not going to make it to the grocery store until after 7:30. Boy, a lot to do today."Nancy: What motivates your activities? Are you trying to make a good impression? Is it just that you can’t say "no"? Why don't you ask God what's on His agenda for this season of your life?
“Then finally, 1:00 a.m. Go to bed.”
Be Blessed and Be a Blessing
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When God blesses us, He doesn’t intend for us to just keep those blessings to ourselves. He gives to us so we can be channels of blessing to others. I’ve often said to young people as we were parting ways, “Now remember, be blessed and be a blessing.”
That’s similar to what God said to Abram in Genesis chapter 12. After calling him to a new land, God said, “I will make you a great nation. I will bless you, and you shall be a blessing.”
Ultimately, we have been greatly blessed by Abram, since God used the nation that he birthed to usher in the Messiah.
How has God blessed you? Has he given you food? A job? A home? Freedom to worship? Freedom from sin? How can you share those things with others and become a channel for God’s blessing?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Some churches have started having “Harvest Parties” in October, where kids can dress up in costumes and have fun. But that’s not the only time people wear costumes to church.
Some people are selfish, angry, bitter, and lazy all week. Then they put on a “good Christian” mask before coming to church. But that costume doesn’t make them more like Jesus.
Imagine a girl in a butterfly costume. It may be cute, but it doesn’t make her a butterfly. On the other hand, when a caterpillar wraps itself in a cocoon and emerges as a butterfly, real transformation has taken place. That’s what Christ offers us—real transformation.
Permanent transformation is what Christ offers us. Second Corinthians 3:18 says, “We . . . are being transformed into his likeness.”
Are you ready to be transformed? Then take off your mask, confess your sin, and ask God to make you like Jesus.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I know that I’m supposed to forgive and forget. And God has helped me to forgive—but forget? That’s a different story when someone has hurt you really bad."Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We’re called to forgive others as God has forgiven us. God is all-knowing, so He can’t forget anything. But when He forgives, He promises never to hold our sins against us again. We’re called to do the same.
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that we forget every painful memory, but that can actually be good. Those memories can help us be tenderhearted and compassionate toward others who hurt.
There may be a lot of hurt in your past. But if you let Him, God can use those memories for His glory. You may even be able to use those very experiences to help someone else who’s been wounded.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Those of us who’ve grown up in the church are prone to a certain kind of deception. It’s the lie that, “My sin isn’t really that bad.”
“(Sigh) I overspent again this month—well, I guess I’m just a natural-born shopper!”Nancy: When we compare ourselves to people who commit what we consider “serious” sins, we can feel like we’re okay.
“I can’t believe she would leave her husband like that! Now, I know it’s not right to gossip, but let me just tell you what really happened . . .”Nancy: We need to realize that every single sin is a big deal. It’s an act of rebellion against God.
“Well, I guess it’s just that Irish temper again . . .”Nancy: The way to see the truth about sin is to see it in the light of who God is. When the prophet Isaiah came face-to-face with God, he said, “Woe is me,” and he confessed his sinfulness. Why don’t you ask God to search your heart today? Ask Him to show you what it looks like in light of His holiness.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: First Corinthians 13 is known as, “The Love Chapter” in the Bible. It gives us characteristics of genuine love. One of those is: “Love does not envy.” Let’s dig a little deeper into what that means.
When you truly love, you’re content with the basic necessities of life—you hold everything else loosely. When you truly love, you realize that you have an amazing gift—a right relationship with God. What more do you really need?
This kind of love helps you to be thankful when you do get something new. And this kind of love protects you from getting angry with a friend who gets a new set of living room furniture or a raise at work.
Have you put your faith in Christ to take away your sin and bring you into a right relationship with God? That’s the first step in having true love—the kind that doesn’t envy.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We spend a lot of time examining our lives.
“I always check my make-up after lunch.”Nancy: When is the last time you evaluated your life—spiritually? Are you allowing the Bible to be a mirror, showing you areas where you need to change? Are you measuring your spiritual progress? Are you more like Jesus today than you were a year ago?“In the morning when I step on the scale and I see that I’ve lost a pound or two—I get so excited!”
“Tuesday is bill night. My wife and I balance the checkbook, pay bills, and talk about stuff.”
Keeping close watch on our health and finances is important. But there’s nothing more important than saying with the psalmist, “Oh God, search my heart, try me, know me. See if there be any wicked way in me.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal and that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights . . .”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: From the Constitution to fast food chicken, “I’ve got a right” has become the cry of Western civilization, but successful relationships and healthy cultures aren’t built on the claiming of rights. They’re built on the yielding of rights.“A right to time off and vacation days.”
“I have a right to get some help around this house!”
“Oh, I DO have a right to get a good night’s sleep.”
“I have a right to chicken done right!”
“. . . and the pursuit of happiness.”
Listen to Philippians 2:4: “Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others.”
When I stake out my rights, even the smallest violation can leave me uptight. The solution is to yield everything to the One who ultimately holds all rights.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: True forgiveness isn’t cheap. Imagine that someone borrows $1,000 from you. They promise to pay back $100 every month, but then you never see a check. They just don’t have any money to pay.
Then imagine that God pricks your heart and challenges you to forgive that debt. He’s given you so much that you want to bless this other person. When you erase the debt, you’re the one who has absorbed the $1,000 loss. Forgiveness is costly!
The same thing is true when someone hurts us. Forgiveness isn’t cheap then, either. But God has called us to forgive others, just like He’s forgiven us. Jesus was willing to pay for our sin. It cost Him everything.
Is there someone who owes you big-time? Would you say, “Lord, because of all You’ve done for me, I’m willing to pay the price; I’m willing to absorb the debt; I’m willing to forgive”?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
"It’s just over between me and my husband. I just don’t love him. I don’t even think I can love him."Nancy Leigh DeMoss: It really is possible to love your husband—no matter what. Jesus commanded us to love our enemies. So even if your husband is your worst enemy, Jesus says it’s still possible to love him. How can you do that? We love by faith.
So tell God you can’t love that person, and then ask Him to love that person through you. Loving by faith means that you don’t wait for romantic feelings. Instead, you act according to 1 Corinthians 13. Love is long-suffering; it’s kind; it isn’t jealous; it’s not selfish; it’s not rude. It doesn’t keep account of wrongs suffered.
Ask God for His love, and then purpose to love that hard-to-love person by faith.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I never knew teenagers could be so difficult!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Over the years I’ve watched women walk through some incredibly difficult, complex situations.“My husband’s getting sicker every day.”
“There was another round of lay-offs, and we didn’t make it this time.”Nancy: I’ve discovered that in every circumstance, the real issue is this: Will I surrender to God’s hand and purpose in my life?“Those memories keep coming back.”
If you’re in the middle of one of those difficult, complex situations, let me remind you of Jesus’ example. He was asked to drink a bitter cup full of all the vilest sin of the world.
“‘Not my will, but Yours be done.’ Lord, if you could pray that, then I can pray it, too.”Are you resisting God’s choices in any area of your life? Why not wave the white flag of surrender and say, “Yes, Lord.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: A woman said to me recently, “For the first two years of our marriage, I thought it was my husband’s job to make me happy, and he thought it was my job to make him happy—and it didn’t work.”
Women who get married just to find happiness are inevitably setting themselves up for disappointment. They hardly ever find what they’re looking for. That’s because the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to be happy but to glorify God.
The truth is, no human being can make you happy. True joy is only found in Christ. When we come to Him to meet our deepest needs, you then have the strength to fulfill the purpose of marriage—to glorify God.
If that’s your focus, you will experience some moments of happiness, and you’ll have the ability to stay faithful during seasons of unhappiness. Are you looking to Christ to meet your deepest needs?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I’ve had people tell me that they’ve forgiven someone, but then they list all the things this other person has done. They may think they’ve forgiven, but they’re still holding offenses against the other person. They haven’t really cleared the record.
We’re called to forgive the way God has forgiven us. Paul says in Colossians 2:13-14 that God has forgiven “us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.”
In Paul’s time someone could write a certificate listing all the debt that you owed them. Paul is saying that the record of debt we owed God has been nailed to the cross of Christ and eliminated forever. And that’s the way we’re called to forgive, too. Are you keeping a list of sins other people have committed against you? Isn’t it time to clear the record and forgive?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Proverbs 7 tells us the story of a foolish woman and the young man she ends up seducing. It says he was “passing along the street near her corner; and he took the path to her house.” It says this happened, “in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night.”
Both the man and woman in this story made choices that led them to the wrong place at the wrong time. This passage tells us how important it is to stay away from situations where it would be easy to do something wrong.
Do you avoid situations where you could be vulnerable to sin? For me, that means leaving the door open if I’m meeting with a married man. It means not driving alone with a married man. It means that if I’m emailing a married man, I stick to business topics and copy his wife if the subject gets more personal.
What are some commitments you could put in place to avoid being in the wrong place at the wrong time?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The Bible tells us that every believer in Christ has a spiritual gift.
First Corinthians gives us the picture of a church that had a wrong perspective on spiritual gifts. The members in that church were flaunting their gifts in order to impress each other. They were claiming their gift was more important than others. And everyone wanted the spectacular gifts—ones that drew attention to themselves.
The result was a church filled with conflict, carnality, and broken relationships. Paul wrote this church with the solution. He said, “Pursue love. Love does not envy or boast.” He reminded them that tongues, knowledge, and prophesy would pass away, but love would abide forever.
So use the spiritual gift God has given you. But as you do, make sure you are pursuing love.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: A woman came to me one time and said, “How do you forgive a whole church?” She told me the story of how a year earlier the church had thrown out her dad as the pastor. They had sinned against him greatly. A lot of broken relationships had come about as a result of this situation.
This woman’s pain was still deep and fresh, but she was called to forgive. And in her case, she had to choose to forgive.
That’s because forgiveness isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice. It’s an act of my will. And it’s possible—thanks to God’s help. According to Philippians 2, God’s grace within us gives us the desire and the power to do whatever He has called us to do. Is there some area of hurt in your life? Ask God to give you His supernatural desire and power, and then—choose to forgive.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Why do you spend time reading the Bible and praying?
“Well, I’m afraid if I don’t, God’ll be mad at me. Then He won’t help me when I really need it."Nancy: The purpose of a daily devotional life isn’t to get on God’s good side, but it is to develop a relationship with Him.
In Revelation 3:20, Jesus says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”
Eating a meal together is a symbol of friendship and fellowship. The kind of friendship God wants with you.
The purpose of our devotional time isn’t to check another thing off our to-do list. It’s not some sort of heavenly homework assignment. The purpose is to sit down and spend time with the Lord to commune with Him—to develop a relationship with Him.
Have you taken time to develop that kind of friendship today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
"I was tossing and turning all night, trying to figure out what to do about this illness in my family. Finally, I said, 'Lord, I don’t like this situation, but I trust You. I can’t handle it on my own.’ And then—peace."Nancy Leigh DeMoss: That sounds like the biblical story of Jacob. He schemed and manipulated his way through every problem, until one night when he got alone with God.
In the stillness of the long night, Jacob wrestled for all he was worth. He refused to give up the struggle, until finally, exhausted, he realized he would never be able to control God.
His will was broken, his hip was out of joint, his name had been changed, and he was a new man.
Is there some circumstance you’re trying to manipulate or control? Maybe it’s time to get alone with God and surrender to His will.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: No matter how estranged a relationship may be, forgiveness is always possible. I’ve seen it firsthand.
I remember the end of a Revive Our Hearts Conference when a woman came up to me with her daughter-in-law. For four years these two women hadn’t gotten along. There were huge walls and barriers between them.
Neither of them knew that the other would be at that conference, but God ended up dealing with each of their hearts. After I spoke on forgiveness, those two women ended up in the prayer room, crying and hugging each other. They each asked forgiveness for the hurts, the wounds, and the wrongs. And in the name of Jesus, they were extending forgiveness to each other.
Is there anyone that you’re estranged from? A family member? Friend? You can be reconciled through God’s power. Just do what those women did: Humble yourself, ask for forgiveness, and then choose to forgive.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Perhaps one of the greatest psalms ever written came from Mary of Nazareth.
Mary: “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.”
Nancy: One thing that impresses me about this prayer is that it shows Mary knew the Word of God. In those days women didn’t have a formal education, and Mary was probably illiterate. But she had listened to the Word of God and hidden it in her heart. Her prayer in Luke 1 has at least a dozen quotations from the Old Testament.
Mary: “He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.”
Nancy: Are you that familiar with the Word of God? Are your prayers, responses, and words saturated with His way of thinking?
Mary: “He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty.”
Nancy: The best way to know God’s Word is to spend some time reading it today.
Mary: “He has helped His servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“It will be a long time to work through this, but some day I think I might be able to forgive.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When you’ve been hurt, finding healing may involve a process. The problem is that a lot of people think they have to wait until the process is over before they choose to forgive.
“I think at some point God could lead me to forgive my dad.”Nancy: They think that healing comes first, then forgiveness. Let me suggest that the opposite is true. The healing process begins with forgiveness. You can choose, by God’s grace, to forgive in a moment of time. Then you can allow God to give you grace to heal from that pain and even restore the relationship.
Would you like to be in the process of healing from the hurts of your past? Why not begin that process today by choosing to forgive?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“My mom used to say certain things to me that really hurt. I promised myself I would never say things like that to my kids. But now I get mad, and I hear myself saying those very same things.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When we don’t deal with our wounds and hurts God’s way, we tend to pass them on to the next generation. That’s why it’s so important to obey these words from Ephesians 4:31: “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you.” But how?
The passage goes on to explain how to begin. “Forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (v. 32).
Do you have some unresolved hurts from your past? Take some time to make a list of the people who’ve wronged you. Then give that hurt to God, choose to forgive, and pass on something new to those who will follow in your steps.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I don’t think anybody is born submissive.
(Baby crying)Nancy: You and I both came into the world and wanted to be in control of everything around us.“Uhhhgg! He’s fed; he’s changed; he needs his sleep, but he always fights it!”
(Baby crying)Nancy: But when we become children of God, we receive a new nature. One that recognizes God’s right to rule over us.“Well, you’re just going to have to cry, then.”
So, our spirit wants to obey God, but the problem is that our flesh still wants to have its own way. It seems like every day there’s a struggle for control. I know I can relate to that struggle in my own life. Thankfully though, the good news of the Gospel is that through Christ we have the power to say, “NO,” to our flesh, and, “YES,” to God’s control.
As the apostle Paul says, “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Our culture rewards ambition and makes a hero out of the super-achiever who gets ahead of everybody else.
It’s a good thing to pursue excellence in whatever you do, but do you know if you are motivated by selfish ambition, the Bible calls that demonic!
James said, “If you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast . . . . This . . . wisdom . . . is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.”
The solution is to do everything out of love. The Bible tells us that love does not envy. We work hard, not to set ourselves apart and get ahead of the pack; instead, we do what He’s called us to do with all our might because of love for God and a desire to serve others.
Ask God to examine your heart. Are you motivated to do what you do out of selfish ambition or out of genuine love and a servant’s heart?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“They want me to help decorate the church Saturday night, but I can’t even get my own house straightened up! What should I do?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: There are a lot of books and seminars on time management, but the best counsel comes from God Himself. I’m learning to submit my calendar and daily schedule to the Lord to seek His will for my priorities.
When interruptions come, I ask Him for wisdom to know whether they’re from Him or whether I should avoid them as unnecessary distractions. I try to remember Proverbs 16:3: “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”
There will probably never be enough time in a day for you to finish your whole to-do list. There definitely won’t be time for you to do everything everybody else wants you to do. But there will always be enough time for you to do everything on God’s to-do list for your day. When is the last time you asked for His direction?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When should we forgive? Here’s what Jesus said: “When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
“When you stand praying,” when you go to church, when you’re in a prayer meeting, or when you’re having your quiet time—is there some issue that comes to mind? Is there some unresolved conflict that hinders your conversation with the Lord?
“If you hold anything against anyone . . .” Now that covers all the bases. It includes every possible offense that I might be holding in my heart.
Jesus is saying, “When you come and talk to your heavenly Father, if you hold anything against anyone, before you keep on praying, forgive that person. Forgive him so that your Father may forgive your sins.”
The next time you have your quiet time, start by asking God if you need to offer some forgiveness.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Are you teaching your kids who God really is?
In Genesis 28 Isaac is at the end of his life and tells his son, “May God Almighty [or El Shaddai] bless you.”
Now, El Shaddai was the name that God revealed when Isaac was miraculously born to his elderly parents. Abraham and Sarah had obviously taught Isaac about El Shaddai as he was growing up, and now Isaac was teaching the name to his son.
There are so many ways you can pass on the knowledge of God asEl Shaddai—God Almighty—to your children. When a paycheck comes in or you leave for work, you can remind them that, ultimately, everything comes from God.
When you pray as a family, you can tell your kids about the way God answers prayer. And as He reveals Himself to you through the Word, you can pass along that truth, just as Abraham did to his son.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Jesus said, “There is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” I can’t help but wonder: If the angels rejoice when we repent, do they grieve when we harden our hearts and do the opposite?
When we reject God’s will and His right to rule in our lives, we certainly don’t give them any reason to celebrate.
I need to ask myself, Is my life bringing joy in heaven? Like the angels, do I get pleasure out of doing God’s will? Do I celebrate when I see sinners, including myself, repent and turn from sin?
Spend some time examining your heart. Like the angels of heaven, are you motivated by God’s glory? Ask God to give you a heart that rejoices when His will is done in your life and in the lives of others.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you ever show someone love so that they’ll love you back?
“I’ll make him his favorite meal, and then I’ll talk about my vacation ideas.”Nancy: Years ago, I heard a great definition of love: Genuine love is totally giving myself to meet the needs of another person without expecting anything in return.
Now, I sometimes give to meet a need, but a lot of times I have a subtle, secret, hidden desire for that love to be reciprocated. I’m serving so that person will love me in return. But genuine love is giving of myself totally—maybe even sacrificially—for the benefit and the good of another person without expecting to get anything in return.
Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Then He went on to die for His enemies. Let’s ask God to help us love even when it doesn’t look like we’ll get anything back.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: If you look at many conflicts in our world today, you’ll find a lack of love. Two countries fighting over a piece of land—there’s probably a lack of love. Two groups of congressmen deadlocked—that’s probably a lack of love.
The absence of love creates a lot of other problems. It was true in the church at Corinth. The people in the church were tolerating gross sin. They were suing one another, getting drunk during the Lord’s Supper, and dividing into bitter factions.
The apostle Paul wrote to this church and tried to deal with some of the problems. What was his main focus? “Follow the way of love.”
Just as the absence of love creates a multitude of problems, so the presence of love (that is, the presence of God’s agape love) in a church, in a home, in a workplace, in a nation can solve almost every problem you can think of.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“You know, we’ve prayed about this for months, and it’s pretty clear that I need to quit my job and take the opportunity.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you really believe that God can be trusted?“Well, where’s the money going to be coming from a year from now? Don’t you think you ought to figure that out first?”
“I want to see the plan all laid out!”Nancy: Sometimes I need to remind myself, “God has never once let me down, and He’s not going to start now!” God always keeps His promises. And that means we can trust the words of Hebrews 13. God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Are there any steps God’s calling you to take? Do they seem too unpredictable? Remember that God truly is all you need. He’s faithful, and He will never leave you.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Well, at my house growing up, everybody was always busy doing something. So sitting down to read was considered . . . lazy. Now that I’m grown up, when I read the Bible, I just feel guilty, like I should be doing something.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Working hard to serve the Lord and others is a good thing, but we can do our work more effectively once we’ve spent time with Christ. In Luke 10 we see that Mary made a conscious choice. Her sister, Martha, was busy in the kitchen, but Mary decided to cultivate her relationship with Jesus. And in response Jesus said, “Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
We can make the same choice as Mary by spending time in prayer and the Word—even when there are other good things demanding our attention. It’s a choice to put Him first, above all other tasks. Have you made that choice today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Put on Love
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I would guess that one of the first things you did this morning was pick out your clothes and get dressed. But did you remember to put on love?
No, that’s not a new perfume. It’s one of the characteristics Paul mentions in Colossians 3, where he says, “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience” (v. 12).
Wow! Can you imagine what our homes and workplaces would be like if each of us consciously put on those five qualities every morning?
The passage goes on to say, “Above all these put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Love is what pulls the whole outfit together.
How much time do you spend getting dressed in the morning? And how much time do you spend putting on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and above all—love?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: There are lots of oppressors, tyrants in our world—maybe even in your life. Those kinds of people make us want to run and hide. That’s how the writer of Psalm 11 felt when he said he wanted to “flee like a bird to your mountain. For look, the wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows . . . to shoot . . . at the upright in heart” (vv. 1-2).
But verse 4 tells us, “The LORD is on his heavenly throne. He observes the sons of men; his eyes examine them.” The psalm goes on to talk about the judgment of God.
When I look at sin in the world, I want God to step in and judge evil. But here’s the problem: When I really think about it, all too often I’m an oppressor in my heart. I deserve judgment. That’s why I need Jesus.
When we see evil, where do we run? Whether you’re feeling oppressed or whether you’re oppressing others, the answer is the same. Don’t run away—instead, run to Jesus.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The makers of Ivory soap pride themselves on making a product that’s “99.44 percent pure.” Now, that might be great for soap, but when it comes to personal holiness, 99.44 percent pure isn’t pure.
First Peter commands us, “Be holy in all your conduct" (1:15). That includes our attitudes and thoughts and outward actions.
To demand 100 percent perfection might seem hopeless. Nobody can be totally perfect—except for Jesus. And we can be completely pure because of His blood and forgiveness.
Through the cross of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit, our hearts can be 100 percent pure. Do you want to be 100 percent pure inside and out? If so, ask God to forgive you for every impurity, to cleanse your heart, and to keep you pure.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Rend the Heavens
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Some friends once told me how many churches were in their area. In fact, in their state, one particular denomination had 14,000 churches.
But the crime rate was going up. And the area was plagued with social problems. How could that be, with a church on every corner? Could it be because there is so little sense of God’s presence in many of our churches?
The prophet Isaiah realized that his nation desperately needed revival, so he pleaded with God to visit His people. In Isaiah 64 he says, “Oh, that You would rend the heavens! That You would come down! That the mountains might shake at Your presence” (v. 1). Oh, that God would do that in our day.
Pray with me. “Lord, please rend the heavens and come down. May mountains of pride and sin tremble at Your presence. Come and visit Your church, O Lord. Do it for Your glory, amen.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do your kids see one side of you at church . . .
“Now look down at verse 25. It says that we should put away lying and speak the truth.”Nancy: . . . and another side at home?
“I just called in sick to work. Let’s go shopping!”Nancy: Parents don’t usually realize how much their example affects their children. Kids know what their parents’ standards are.
They notice when their parents use language at home they’d never say in public. They notice when their parents belittle each other. They know what kinds of videos parents rent and what they laugh at on TV.
If your kids grow up loving the world more than God, if they don’t have a hunger for spiritual things, will it be any surprise? Will you be prepared to give an account for the way your life influenced them?
As you make choices today, would you remember that your heart for holiness is shaping the character of the next generation?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Some people think they need to jump through spiritual hoops to earn God’s favor.
“When I forget to read the Bible and pray, I don’t think God likes me very much.”Nancy: All those activities are great, but in and of themselves they won’t get us closer to God. God isn’t interested in hollow religious acts or sacrifices, no matter how impressive they may be.“I tithe every paycheck; I don’t want to make God upset!”
“I just don’t feel close to God. Maybe going on that missions trip with my church can help.”
King David understood that. In Psalm 51 he prayed, “You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offering.”
So what does God care about? David gives the answer in verse 17: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart—these, O God, You will not despise.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When God revives a heart, it brings about true humility.
“Revival began in my life when I humbled myself and called a judge’s office. Years earlier I’d been a witness in a federal court trial, and I hadn’t told the whole truth.”Nancy: In times of revival, God convicts His people of their sin and calls them to repentance.
“God was speaking to my heart about this sin. I had to make it right, even though I knew I might end up in jail.”Nancy: Maybe there’s a situation in your life that requires humility. Remember these words from Proverbs 29: “A man’s pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor” (verse 23).
“After a total wait of about a year, I got word that neither side wanted to reopen the case. I was a free man. But true freedom had come when I had humbled myself and said yes to God.”With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“My husband and I do everything together.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Lust can take different forms. There’s the obvious sexual sense. But there’s also a form of lust that says, “I love you because of how you make me feel. You fill up a need in my life.” It’s really conditional love.“Okay, I love her, but . . . it’s like she wants me to give her every single waking moment!”
“We have so much fun.”
“It’s driving me crazy!”
“We just love doing everything together.”
“It’s like—back off!”
This kind of love will last as long as the other person decides he wants to keep filling you up. But the problem is that the hole in your heart is so big that no one but God can truly fill it.
When we go to God for love, we’ll never be disappointed. He can fill us up and give us the ability to be givers to other people—no matter what they do, or don’t do, for us. That’s true love.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you ever have trouble getting away from all the distractions and spending time alone with God? Here’s what a mom shared with me once:
“I have a sweet memory of our son, John. When he was about 18 months old, he’d get out of his bed each morning and come to find me. The only place in our small house where I could be away from the kids was in our small bathroom.Nancy: Moms, what kind of pattern are your kids seeing? Starting tomorrow, why don’t you show them that the words of Psalm 5:3 are true in your life? It says: “In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice. In the morning I lay my requests before you.”“I’d go in there every day to have my quiet time with God. John would come up, put his little hand under the door, and hold onto my foot until I finished. Even at that early age, he’d learned that I had to read my Bible every day.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I just can’t please my boss. He’s impossible!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Wouldn’t it be great if you could take a class and learn how to handle all of life’s problems?
“My husband is just like another child.”Nancy: Actually, there is a course that addresses every issue you’ll ever face. God has given us His textbook, and He’s a wise and loving teacher. He wants to meet with you one-on-one and tailor a course for your needs.“How can we pay all these bills?”
Starting a daily devotional habit enrolls you in the course. By spending time reading God’s Word and praying, you’ll be learning how to handle life’s problems in a way that glorifies God.
Psalm 25:8 says, “Good and upright is the Lord; therefore, He instructs sinners in His ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you ever find yourself at the point of a decision?
“I’m not sure if this is right or not?!”Nancy: There’s a question mark in your conscience, but you’re not exactly sure what the Bible says about it. Jonathan Edwards anticipated moments like these and wrote:
"Resolved, never to do anything of which I so much as question the lawfulness."He’s saying, “If I have any question in my heart about whether what I'm about to do is acceptable to God and His Word, then I'll stop.”
So many of us today try and see how close we can get to sin without getting into serious trouble. Wouldn’t we be better off staying as close to purity as we can?
Paul tells us in Romans, “Whatever is not of faith is sin.” If there’s doubt in your heart that God is giving you freedom to do something, then why do it?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“It seems like as soon as I repent from one thing, God brings a whole other sin area to my attention! I guess I’m glad, but it’s so hard! When can I stop thinking about holiness?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: There are a lot of important reasons to pursue holiness. One of them is that holiness is God’s ultimate goal for us. He has eternity in view. He didn’t save us just to make our short time on this earth easier. He wants to make us holy as He is holy, so we can perfectly glorify Him and enjoy Him for eternity.
First John 3:2 says, “We know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is.”
So what’s our response? John goes on: “Everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”
Are you living in light of God’s ultimate goal for your life? Today let’s cooperate with God in His eternal goal to make us holy.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(noisy children in background)
“All right. We have five minutes for a Bible story, and then you kids are going to bed! (pages turning) Let’s see . . . ‘One day God told Jonah . . .' Franky! Get over here and sit down!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: You may be teaching your children the truths of the Bible . . .
“‘God told Jonah to go to Nineveh . . .' Sarah! I can’t wait till you kids are in bed!”Nancy: . . . but are you doing it out of love? The apostle Paul says, “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.”
If I’m teaching others God’s Word, but I don’t have love, what does Paul say? I’m just making noise.
“Uhhh! I’m trying to read here!”Nancy: Are you serving from a heart of love? Ask God to fill you with His love. Ask Him to love others through you.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I just don’t get anything out of the worship when that fill-in guy leads! He doesn’t sing any songs I like.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We each have personal preferences about styles of worship. But did you know the purpose of praise is not for our own enjoyment but to bring God pleasure?
In Exodus 30 God gave Moses the recipe for making incense for temple worship. Then God said, “It shall be most holy to you. Do not make any incense with this formula for yourselves…. Whoever makes any like it to enjoy its fragrance must be cut off from his people.”
Using praise to give us an emotional high is like an Israelite burning incense for the wrong reason.
True worship will bring about many blessings in our lives. But don’t forget: the ultimate purpose of praise is to bless God.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I try to wake up early to read my Bible, but I get soootired! It's like I'm trying to pray, but all I'm saying is just nonsense.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I've had that problem, too. But here's one solution: go to bed earlier! That may mean putting the kids to bed earlier, limiting social events, or turning off the TV—but it’s worth it.
Meditating on the Lord and His Word before we go to sleep is another way to prepare for meeting with God the next day.
Psalm 4:4 may have been a prayer David used before going to sleep at night. It says, “When you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.”
He goes on, “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.”
Tonight, try meditating on Scripture before you go to sleep. See how it affects your devotional time tomorrow.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Why were you created as a woman?
“Uhh . . . to bring home the bacon?!” (laughter)Nancy: Do you know that the Bible has a lot to say about why women were created?“It was just chance, I guess.”
“So I could turn some heads!”
“The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Gen. 2:18).Nancy: Are you willing to sacrifice your own ambitions to fulfill your role as a helper to your husband?
“For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man” (1 Cor. 11:8-9).Nancy: Is your life helping and blessing the men around you?
“The woman is the glory of man” (1 Cor. 11:7).Nancy: Why were you created as a woman? As you read God’s Word, ask Him to show you His purpose for your life. Then ask Him to help you fulfill that purpose.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The book of 1 Timothy tells women to “adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control” (2:9). How do you do that when it seems like immodesty is everywhere? Let me suggest seven choices.
- Live your life to please God and bring Him glory.
- Say, “Lord, my body belongs to You.”
- Decide to be modest because it pleases God.
- Resolve to be morally pure.
- Commit to never dress in a way that would tempt men to lust.
- Stand against the culture when it’s contrary to the Word of God.
- Be humble and open to the input of others.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
In Your Own Hands
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: After waiting on God for a long time, are you ever tempted to take matters into your own hands?
“I’ve been praying for my marriage for ten years, and nothing’s gotten better. I think it’s time to get out.”Nancy: How long should we wait on the Lord? Abram and Sarah wondered that. The book of Genesis tells us that they waited on God’s promise for a child for eleven years. Finally, they decided to help God out of the difficult situation, and Abram had a child with Sarah’s servant Hagar. But that wasn’t God’s plan, and it caused them all kinds of pain later.
God’s plan was for them was to wait an additional thirteen years! When their son, Isaac, was born, it was obviously something God did by His power.
What do you do when it doesn’t seem like God is coming through? I’ll tell you what you do: you wait on the Lord. In His time, He’ll show you His power.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: By the time Cindy came to know the Lord, her teenage kids were out of control and her relationship with her husband was rocky. But she determined to focus on God’s plan rather than on her pain. She wrote to me and said:
Cindy: I believe He wants to use me to be a testimony and a light to my family.
Nancy: Cindy’s husband kicked their daughter out of the house to live on the streets. Her sons were both dishonorably discharged from the military and spent time in prison. But she kept her focus in the right place.
Cindy: It would be so easy to just walk away and go to some island somewhere, but God has chosen me to be where I am, to be a testimony to my husband and children. So I say, “Yes, Lord, whatever You want.”
Nancy: Are you saying, “Yes, Lord,” in whatever circumstance you’re in?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do the men around you feel helped, or do they feel alone?
Genesis 2:18 tells us what God said right before creating the first woman: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
If you’re a woman listening today, are you fulfilling the role God’s given you as a helper? Here are some questions to help you evaluate.
- Have you embraced your God-given design to be a helper?
- Are you willing to sacrifice your own ambitions in order to help your husband?
- Do you provide him with companionship?
- Do you complement your husband or compete with him?
- Perhaps you’re single. What kinds of words, actions, and attitudes would help the Christian men around you become all God wants them to be?
- Are you promoting healthy, godly marriages in the ways you relate to other women’s husbands?
With Seeking Him, Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: If you could have just one thing, what would it be?
“Just one thing . . . a red Ferrari!”Nancy: King David of Israel seemed to have it all: popularity, fortune, military achievement, loyal friends. But there was one thing that he wanted more than anything else.(glass breaking) “A maid!”
“A rich and good-looking husband!”
We read about it in Psalm 27:4. “One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in his temple.”
David’s one supreme, driving passion in life was to know God.
Let me challenge you. Over the next thirty days, why don’t you spend some time each day in God’s Word and in prayer? You’ll find your time with Him becoming a higher priority as you grow closer to the One who loves you most.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Every time I start to go in and read my Bible, or I want to spend some time with the Lord in prayer, the phone starts ringing. I mean, how do they know? By the time I finish, it's time to start dinner! As to my Bible time—it’s out the door.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Sometimes, in order to focus on God, we need to get away from all the distractions. Exodus 33 tells us that Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the “tent of meeting.”
This tent was away from the normal flow of traffic. It was a place set apart for meeting with God. We all need a tent of meeting—a place where we can spend some undistracted time in God’s Word and prayer. Your tent of meeting may be in a bathroom, a closet, the hallway, or your car. The important thing is that you find a place where you can meet with Him alone.
Starting tomorrow, where could you meet with God alone—away from the distractions?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“They parked that ugly car in front of my yard again!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We shouldn’t be too surprised when an unbeliever does something inconsiderate. God is love, and when people don't know Him, they’re not likely to truly show love. But someone who knows God doesn’t have an excuse.
“I was headed out for church this morning, and I just glared at them.”Nancy: It’s sad when someone claims to be a disciple of Jesus but doesn’t show love.
“I was hoping that giving them ‘the look’ would tell them I didn’t approve.”Romans 5:5 says, “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
If you’re in a relationship with Jesus, you have the ability to truly love by the power of God’s Spirit. Ask God to pour His love through you to those around you today.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When I’m talking to people who have been hurt, I encourage them to make a list of the wrongs done to them, along with the way they responded. If they responded sinfully, the first step is to go back and seek forgiveness for that wrong response.
That may seem strange, but we are not responsible for what others do to us; we’re only responsible for how we respond to them.
Once we’ve cleared our conscience, the next step is to look at the list and say, “Lord, by Your grace, I choose to forgive. I choose not to hold these sins against this other person anymore.”
Have you been carrying around hurt and bitterness that you need to deal with? By taking responsibility for your responses and clearing the record of others’ sins, you can find true freedom.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Bye, Mom. I’m going over to Betsy’s.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The first step to learning is admitting that we don’t know everything.“My fourteen-year-old is so smart. She’s so smart she’s failing school! But that might be because she won’t pay attention to her teachers because she thinks she’s smarter than them.”
“Oh yeah—she’s got it all figured out.”Nancy: Do you know that we can have that kind of attitude to the Word of God? Psalm 25 explains the kind of mindset that lets us learn from God. It says, “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way” (v. 9).
What kind of person does the Lord teach? People who realize how much they need to learn.
Here’s an exercise. Make a list of the subjects you don’t know anything about. Then think about the infinite wisdom of God, who knows everything. That kind of thinking will change the way you approach God’s Word.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“The Spirit says, ‘Forgive.’”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Anyone who is a true child of God has been given a new nature. He or she wants to please God. But according to Scripture, even after we’re born again, our “flesh” continues to wage war against the Spirit of God living in us.“The flesh says, ‘Hold a grudge.’”
“The Spirit says, ‘Be temperate.’”Nancy: When we choose to give in to the flesh, we allow sin to gain mastery over us. But every time we say yes to the Spirit, we give Him greater control over our lives.“The flesh says, ‘Eat whatever you want whenever you feel like it.’”
“Give that money to someone in need.”Nancy: Jesus said, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” Ask Him to give you the power to say yes to the Spirit today.“Spend it on something you don’t need.”
“Spend some time in the Word.”
“You’ve had a long day. Relax in front of the TV.”
“Hold your tongue.”
“Tell it like it is!”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I once was really disappointed in someone I work with. I found myself battling resentment and replaying the situation over and over in my mind. Then I realized why this was bothering me so much. I wanted to be in control, and my co-worker’s behavior didn’t fit my plan.
I called a wise friend and asked her to pray for me. As we were about to hang up, she added this: “Nancy, I don’t know how to say this, but remember . . . you’re not God.” Ouch.
As women, we have such a drive to be in control, to manipulate circumstances so we feel comfortable. But the true path to peace comes when we trust God to be in control. When we hand Him the reins, we’re admitting that He truly has all the power.
Are you trying to control people or situations? Do you get upset when things don’t go your way? Remember—you’re not God.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: “Don’t drink the water!” That’s what they say when you travel to certain parts of the world where the drinking supply isn’t safe.
So what do you do to make the water drinkable? You boil it to take out the impurities.
God wants do something similar in our lives. The prophet Isaiah prayed, “Oh, that You would rend the heavens! That You would come down! . . . As fire causes water to boil.”
Isaiah was saying that God’s presence is like a fire that causes water to boil. We all have stagnant, complacent waters of our lives that hide impurities. God’s presence gets under those waters and causes them to boil—making them clean.
God wants to remove every impurity, both in our individual lives and in our churches. So, with Isaiah, would you ask God to come in revival and to rescue us from complacency and to make us holy?
With Seeking Him I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Why were you created?
“To try and make the world a better place.”Nancy: Do you ever wonder what your purpose is on this earth? I’ll tell you. We were made to bring God pleasure. That’s why we praise Him: because we were created to do it.“I was born to shop!”
“I think I really want to serve others in my life.”
There’s another reason we should praise God. Praise is the number-one occupation in heaven. The apostle John sees a vision of heaven in Revelation 4 and 5. He sees more than 100 million angels who have one full-time responsibility: to worship the One who sits on the throne and the Lamb at His right hand.
When we praise the Lord, it’s like a dress rehearsal for what we’ll spend an eternity doing in heaven.
How much “practice” are you getting for that eternal concert? Are you doing what you were created to do? Are you praising God?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: If we want to be like Jesus, we need to learn to surrender to God’s will. I asked some friends what surrender looked like to them.
“I was challenged to be more generous . . . to give some of my stuff away.”Nancy: We’re all faced with the same question: Will I follow God’s will in every area of my life?“I had to change some spending habits.”
“I learned to be less opinionated.”
“I had to take some things off my schedule.”
“I had to stop trying to change my husband.”Nancy: Jesus said, “Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say?” So many professing Christians go through life without asking, “What does God want me to do about this? What does the Bible say?”
“Following God’s call for me meant moving to a new city. I had to leave my house and friends.”Nancy: Have you asked what God thinks about the issues you’re facing? Once He shows you, then simply say, “Yes, Lord.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: A lot of children learn to clap and cheer before they even know how to talk.
(Child clapping)
Nancy: There’s something inside them that needs to be expressed. You can see it when a child claps with glee as she steps into the waves lapping a beach or opens a brightly colored Christmas present.
That spontaneous, joyful response is the idea behind Psalm 47:1: “Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!”
The biblical concept of clapping to the Lord includes more than keeping time to music. When God’s children step into the river of His delights or discover the gifts of His grace, we want to respond in joy.
(Child clapping)
Spend some time today thinking about the wonder of God’s character and His love. Then respond to His greatness. You may want to literally clap your hands. But most importantly, respond in your heart with joy and wonder.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When God gave Abraham and Sarah a baby in their old age, He revealed a new name for Himself. He said, “I am El Shaddai,” which means the All-Sufficient One.
God said, “I will multiply you exceedingly.” Throughout Scripture the name El Shaddai is related to fruitfulness. He multiplies what we can do out of His sufficiency.
In Genesis 28 Abraham says to his son, “May El Shaddai bless you and make you fruitful.” In chapter 35 God says to Jacob, “I am El Shaddai. Be fruitful and multiply.” He’s the One who makes us fruitful.
God wants to produce in us the fruit of the Spirit as found in Galatians 5:22. Things like love, joy, peace, and so on.
Are those qualities growing in your life? Ask El Shaddai, the All-Sufficient One, to develop the fruit of His Spirit in you.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Imagine being stranded in a foreign country after your husband and two sons have died. That’s exactly where Naomi found herself in the book of Ruth. She said, “The Almighty has afflicted me.”
Naomi realized that affliction is in some way connected to God, but she couldn’t see the big picture like we can. As we read Naomi’s story, we see that her situation eventually made her even more blessed and fruitful. Ultimately, the Savior came from her family line.
Unfortunately, like Naomi, we can’t see the end of the story while we’re living in the middle. You may be living through an affliction right now at work or with a parent or with a son or daughter. Would you remember that God is right there with you in your affliction?
He allows us to go through affliction so we can be more blessed and fruitful—just like Naomi. He knows the end of the story.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Imagine being stranded in a foreign country after your husband and two sons have died. That’s exactly where Naomi found herself in the book of Ruth. She said, “The Almighty has afflicted me.”
Naomi realized that affliction is in some way connected to God, but she couldn’t see the big picture like we can. As we read Naomi’s story, we see that her situation eventually made her even more blessed and fruitful. Ultimately, the Savior came from her family line.
Unfortunately, like Naomi, we can’t see the end of the story while we’re living in the middle. You may be living through an affliction right now at work or with a parent or with a son or daughter. Would you remember that God is right there with you in your affliction?
He allows us to go through affliction so we can be more blessed and fruitful—just like Naomi. He knows the end of the story.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“When I was little, I’d roam all over the neighborhood. But now, with my kids, they stay in the backyard. I mean, there are just too many crazy people out there today.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We need to make wise choices and keep children safe, but we don’t have to live in constant fear.
Psalm 34:7 says, “The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him.” That word “encamp” reminds me of the story of Elisha. The Syrian army had been deployed to capture him, but he wasn’t afraid. You see, God enabled Elisha to see the spiritual reality—the hills surrounding him were filled with an angelic army.
The dangers children face today are real, just like that enemy army. But we can live in peace knowing that an invisible host of angels surrounds them. The only way evil can get to them is by God’s permission. And the best way we can protect them is to pray.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The people of Jeremiah’s day lived a pretty easy life. Jeremiah wrote, “[They] are like wine left on its dregs, not poured from one jar to another.”
In those days the process of making wine meant putting juice in a wineskin for several weeks while the bitter dregs, or sediment, settled to the bottom. Then the juice was poured into another wineskin to remove the dregs. The process was repeated again and again until all the bad-tasting impurities were gone.
Jeremiah compared the complacent people around him to wine that stayed in the skin too long.
Suffering is God’s means of pouring us from one jar to another so the dregs of self and sin can be removed and His sweet Spirit is all that remains. Would you accept the process that’s helping you become more like Christ?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Does it seem safer to ask God to look down on us or to come down to us?
In Isaiah 63 the prophet asks God to “look down from heaven.” He asks God to look at the people’s sin.
Then, in the next chapter, he changes his request: “Oh that you would rend the heavens and come down.” Isaiah is asking God to become more directly involved, to stir things up, to change the hearts of people.
It’s easy to ask God to look down: “Lord, please watch over us. Please keep us safe. Keep us in Your care.” It’s more challenging to ask God to come down: “Lord, please convict us of sin. Please interrupt our routine and show us Your plans. Help us to embrace suffering so we can be more like You.”
Lord, rend the heavens and come down.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I felt like this kind-of robot Christian. You know, [stilted] looking like a Christian. But I totally shut God out of my life. I know that it all started with some hurts that I just never really dealt with.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We’ve all been wounded by others. Hurt and pain are inevitable. Of course those hurts affect our lives, but they have no power to control who we become. The outcome of our lives is determined by our response to hurt.
When you’re wounded, you can respond like a debt collector—trying to keep the other person locked in a kind of prison. The problem is, you’ll end up in bondage yourself. Or, by God’s grace, you can choose to forgive. And forgiveness will set you free from bitterness and anger.
Would you choose to begin the process of forgiveness today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I was turning out of a parking lot today and came this close to a head-on collision.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: It’s easy to go through a day not thinking about the spiritual realities behind the events in our lives. We don’t really know how many times angels are involved in keeping us safe, but we do know that angelic protection is real.“It’s just amazing how you can escape a huge catastrophe by just a matter of inches.”
Psalm 91 says, “He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone” (vv. 11-12).
The safest place we can be is in God’s will. Any harm that comes to us has to be filtered through His perfect will. Have you asked God to keep you and your family safe today? Have you thanked Him for the angels who protect you?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: You really have no idea what’s in store today.
“Mom, I spilled . . .”Nancy: There’s one basic issue that will determine how you respond to anything today: What’s your purpose in life? If your goal is to be happy or accepted or loved, then you’ll face a lot of obstacles in meeting it.“With parts and labor, it’ll come to $527.”
“I forgot to tell you; my science project is due today.”
“I’m calling from the hospital. Dad had an accident.”
But if your purpose is to exist for God’s glory, then you can accept whatever comes as part of His plan and purpose. You’ll embrace the hard things knowing that they were designed by God to make you more like Jesus.
Have you settled that issue? Would you say, “Lord, it’s not about me—it’s about You. All that matters is that You are glorified”?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Whenever I see a gardener cut away extra growth, everything looks so barren. For a little while the plants are less attractive than they were before. But we trust that pruning will eventually make the plants fuller and more beautiful.
Jesus compares pruning with some of the problems that come into our lives. He says, “I am the vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch that bears fruit, He prunes.”
If we want to bear fruit, we need to accept God’s chastening hand in our lives. But if we try to run from our problems or resent them, we’ll end up like dry, shriveled branches.
Do you want God’s fullness and beauty to be seen in your life? Even if those plans involve some pruning shears?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Through all my growing-up years, my mom kept a record for the family of things God did. Whenever He’d answer prayer, she’d write it down. And now my copy of that journal is really a treasure!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: That reminds me of what Moses did while the children of Israel spent forty years in the wilderness. Numbers 33 says, “At the Lord’s command Moses recorded the stages in their journey.”
I think God told Moses to keep that journal so that the Israelites would remember what they had learned. I think it was also so their children and we could learn those same lessons.
In Romans we read, “Everything that was written in the past was written to teach us so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
How are your children and future generations going to know what God’s done in your life unless you tell them?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When a man and woman stand before a minister and join their lives together, they say some important words.
“I do.”That marriage covenant reminds me of my relationship with Christ. There was a point where we said, “I do,” and entered into an eternal relationship with Him.
Now, a husband and wife learn to live out their vows “for better or worse” in the nitty-gritty of real life. Our commitment to Christ is no different. At the point of conversion, we surrendered our whole self, but now we have to live out that commitment in real life. It requires a new surrender of ourselves every day.
Romans 12:1 tells us: “Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.” You may have made an initial sacrifice to God. Are you living out that commitment through daily sacrifice of your time and your possessions to Him? What would it mean for you today to offer yourself as a “living sacrifice”?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: You can hire “professionals” to do just about anything these days, from fixing your computer to mowing your lawn. We’ve especially been trained to take our emotional problems to the experts, looking for professionals and pills to solve the problems of soul and spirit.
There may be a place for psychologists and therapists, if their counsel is rooted in God’s Word. But remember the words of James 5.
“Is any among you afflicted? Let him pray. Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him. Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another.”
James says that when you’re hurting, first let the body of Christ minister grace. Ask them to pray with you. Confess any sin that might be causing emotional weakness or sickness, and start to be accountable to other believers.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you ever feel like you’re in an impossible situation? If so, then you can relate to the apostles we read about in Acts 5. They were arrested for preaching the gospel, bound, and thrown in jail. Escape seemed impossible.
But Scripture says that during the night an angel of the Lord opened the doors of the jail and brought them out.
The angel said to the apostles, “Go, stand in the temple courts, and tell the people the full message of this new life.” It was part of God’s plan to rescue them, and He can do the same thing for you—in His timing.
When we feel locked up in some kind of difficult situation, we can pray something like this: “Lord, if it pleases You in this moment to rescue me from this situation, I know that You can. But if You don’t, then I know that You have purposes that are far greater than my immediate comfort.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Open any magazine and you’ll get a picture of what the world considers a beautiful woman. But what does the Bible say?
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment; instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.”Nancy: Do you focus more time and effort on outward beauty or on inner, spiritual beauty?
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”Nancy: Are you more concerned about your relationship with God than about being fashionable or physically attractive?
“I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety.”Nancy: Do you dress modestly? Do your clothes encourage men to have pure thoughts?
Our culture sends so many messages about what it means to be beautiful. Are you going to go with the world or with the Word of God?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: In the 1930s, God sent a great revival in the Shantung province of China. Witnesses said that preachers couldn’t even finish their sermons because people were so convicted of sin that they would begin crying out in agony.
When’s the last time you saw that happen in your church? When’s the last time it happened in my church? When’s the last time I cried out for God’s mercy? We don’t usually have a deep enough awareness of our sin. That’s why we need revival.
When we see God as He really is, we begin to see ourselves as we really are. And with that conviction of sin, there’s an outpouring of heartfelt confession.
Would you ask God to revive your heart? Pray, “Lord, let me see how holy You are. And in light of Your holiness, show me those dark, hidden corners of my heart.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“When I was fourteen, my dad died, and then I got married at sixteen. I look back and can see how I wanted my husband to be my security. I didn’t think I could possibly live without my husband, and really, I was just suffocating him.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: A lot of women think that.
“Some friends showed me that I needed to turn loose and get my happiness from God instead. Once I did that, I was so free. Now we’re about to celebrate fifteen years of marriage.”Nancy: The truth is, no one can make us truly happy other than God. If you’re trying to get your needs met from someone else, you’ll probably end up pushing them away. But if you get your joy from your relationship with the Lord, He’ll give you the strength to serve and love your husband.
Are you looking to God or to another person to meet your deepest needs?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The world’s view of clothing and fashion is quite different from the biblical view. Let’s take a minute and compare the world’s philosophy . . .
“You’ve got to dress so people notice you.”Nancy: . . . with God’s idea.
“We choose clothing that glorifies God.”Nancy: Modesty is really a way of thinking about God, about men, and about ourselves.“Clothes are for attracting attention.”
“The purpose of clothing is to cover and conceal the body.”
“It’s just your body—do what you want with it.”Nancy: What do your clothing choices say about what you believe? Are you being influenced by the world’s philosophy? Or is your thinking based on the Word and the ways of God?“Your body is God’s home—take care of it.”
“If you are going to be loved, first you have to be beautiful and alluring.”
“You are loved by God. He made you beautiful for His glory.”
“What you wear reflects your heart.”With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Three thousand years ago an Arabian queen heard about a very wise and accomplished man. She wasn’t satisfied with just hearing about this man. She put together a caravan with rare gifts and traveled twelve hundred miles to meet him.
When she asked this wise king her questions and heard his wisdom, the queen of Sheba was overcome.
“I did not believe these things until I came and saw with my own eyes.”Nancy: The Bible tells us that King Solomon “gave her all she desired and asked for; he gave her more than she had brought to him.”
You and I have the chance to meet with an amazingly wise King. We do that by studying the Word of God. When we do, we go back to our homes, our jobs, and our neighborhoods with more treasure than our hearts can contain.
Have you been seeking wisdom from the King of kings?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(Phone being dialed)
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We have different levels of intimacy with different people. Most are more like acquaintances, but some are intimate friends.
Nancy: (talking on the phone) One of the things I value most in my closest friends is being able to pick up the phone and get their advice.
Nancy: I’ve asked for guidance on things from water softeners to insurance coverage, from hiring staff to scheduling conferences. I’m so thankful for those wise, close friends.
Did you know that God wants to be an intimate friend to you? He wants you to come to Him with your deepest concerns and most honest questions.
James wrote, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”
Do you need wisdom today? Why not spend some time asking God for help and opening the Bible for counsel? You can’t find better advice anywhere.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you ever feel so exhausted that you just can’t go on? First Kings tells us that the prophet Elijah felt that way after a showdown with the evil Queen Jezebel.
He was asleep in the wilderness after having run for his life. The Bible tells us that an angel woke him up and said, “Get up and eat.” The angel provided a cake of bread baked over hot coals and a jar of water. There was no kitchen there in the desert, but God gave Elijah exactly what he needed.
You may not have battled an evil queen lately, but maybe you’ve been dealing with toddlers—or teenagers—all day, and you’re exhausted. God’s given us daily bread in the form of His Word. And He’s given us bread from heaven in the form of Christ.
Would you take comfort and rest in Him, asking for His help and strength?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“You know, I really want to help people. But there’s so much pain and hurt in the world, I don’t even know where to begin!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: There are needs everywhere we look. It was the same way in Jesus’ time. How did He set priorities?
We get an idea from these words in Mark 1: “Very early in the morning while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went off to a solitary place where he prayed.”
The disciples finally found Jesus, expecting Him to minister to the large crowds in the town where they were. But Jesus said, “We’re going on to the next town.” He had gotten quiet enough to discover His Father’s priorities for that day.
That’s what you and I need to do through time in prayer and in the Word of God. If you ever feel like you don’t know what God wants you to do, maybe the solution is to sit still long enough to get the Father’s direction.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We spend so much time trying to “fix” other people.
“For years I tried to change my husband. I was on him all the time.”Nancy: I’m convinced that if we spent a fraction of that time in prayer, we’d probably see a lot more results.
“Once I started praying for my husband, then I saw a change.”Nancy: So many of us live in the realm of the natural. We’ve only seen what our natural ability and effort can do. But the realm of the supernatural is much more important. That’s why prayer is the most effective way to approach a problem.
Maybe you’ve found yourself trying to change your coworker, your husband, or your children. Has it worked? How about letting God work on them instead?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When we see God more clearly, it illuminates our sinfulness. God moved in a great way in Ireland in the 1800s. One eyewitness said that conviction of sin became so intense that sinners were compelled to cry out in agony. They often cried out, “Unclean, unclean.”
The Bible tells us that’s what lepers had to cry when they came near people. One leper encountered Jesus and said, “If You choose, You can make me clean.” This man knew how desperate he was. Jesus responded by saying, “I do choose. Be made clean.”
He’s willing to say the same thing to us, if we’re willing to admit how unclean we really are. When we realize that, we can better appreciate the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross.
Would you ask God to revive your heart? Ask Him to show you areas that aren’t clean, and then confess those to Him with a broken heart.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Have you done any singing today? We’re used to singing at church. But to a lot of people, singing during a typical day might seem strange. But the Bible talks about the power that comes from singing praise to God. The book of Psalms alone makes 68 references to singing to the Lord.
I travel a lot, and I often take along a hymnal or a book of worship choruses. I’m no great singer, but I love to sing to the Lord.
I can think of times when it felt like there was a dark cloud hanging over my spirit. But as I’ve sung to the Lord—sometimes with a trembling voice and my eyes filled with tears—so often the cloud has lifted and the sunlight of God’s peace has poured in.
Why not try singing to the Lord today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“All my life I dreamed that a handsome king would come serenade me at my window and whisk me away! (Sigh) Enough daydreaming. I guess I’d better read my Bible and pray.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you realize that our time in the Word and in prayer doesn’t have to be a dull routine? There’s an incredible King who loves you. He’s pursuing you. He wants to spend time with you and reveal Himself to you. He does that through prayer and through His Word.
In Song of Solomon 2, the king asks his bride to leave what she’s doing so they can spend time together. He calls from outside her window and says, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.”
Your King is at the window. God wants to spend time with you. How will you respond today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Is there something you’ve been praying for, for a long time?
“When will my son admit he needs help? It’s been so long.”Nancy: The Bible tells us that, as we pray, there’s a spiritual battle going on against the forces of wickedness. We can see this in the story of Daniel. As he began to fast and pray one time, an angel was sent to him. But for twenty-one days, the messenger was resisted by fallen angels. After a great battle, he finally arrived to give Daniel the answer.
We can’t fully understand all that goes on in the spiritual realm, but we do know that we need to persevere in prayer. Maybe you’ve been praying, not for twenty-one days, but for twenty-one years. Don’t give up! You have no idea what God is doing behind the scenes nor when He will finally send the answer.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: In the Garden of Eden, Satan tempted Eve to disobey God and eat the fruit that God had put off-limits. He said her eyes would be opened and she would be like God—but it was a lie. The moment she ate, Eve became spiritually blind, unable to see the truth. Her fellowship with God was broken, and she took on a sinful nature.
These characteristics that describe Eve describe us, too. We’re born separated from God, unable to do anything to please Him.
But here’s the good news. Jesus came to this earth and took the punishment for Eve’s sin and for ours. Through His sinless life, His death on the cross, and His resurrection, we can be forgiven of all our sin. We just need to admit that we’re blind like Eve and put our faith in Christ.
Have you ever thought about how much like Eve you are? How much you need a Savior?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: What traits does a godly woman have? The Bible has quite a bit to say about that.
“Ruth 3:11: 'And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. . . . All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.' ”Nancy: Do you have a reputation for being a woman of godly character?
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue" (Proverbs 31:26).Nancy: Do you spend time with the Word of God so that you can speak wise words to others?
“A woman should learn in quietness and full submission" (1 Timothy 2:11).Nancy: Do you have a teachable spirit?
“It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman" (Proverbs 21:19).Nancy: Do you have a spirit of welcoming people or of pushing them away? Do you find yourself arguing and getting angry easily?
Why not spend some time in the Word of God and ask Him to show you what kind of woman He wants you to be?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(Guiltily) “I know I need to read the Bible and pray—just like I need to eat vegetables, exercise, and balance my checkbook!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We do need a daily devotional time—even more than we need those other things.
A verse from the Song of Solomon radically altered the way I view my devotional life. The king in that story says, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” He goes on to say, “Let me see your countenance; let me hear your voice.”
Just like that king, God wants to hear your voice. That’s astonishing to me. I have to say, “Lord, why would you want to see my face? Why would you want to hear my voice?”
I still don’t understand why God wants to meet with me. But the fact remains. God enjoys spending time with me and with you! Have you spent time loving Him today?
“I don’t really balance my checkbook like I should, but I do eat vegetables.”With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: As I talk with women and look into their eyes, I can see the effects of deep hurt and pain. One of the things I hear more and more from women is “I’m angry. I’m angry at my husband, angry with my parents, angry with God.”
We have so many women today with wounded spirits, harboring deep hurts. When they don’t deal with these wounds God’s way, it leads to a smoldering bitterness, anger—even revenge and violence in some cases.
Freedom comes when we trust God to deal with the other person. He’s the most powerful judge there is. We need to ask for forgiveness for any wrong responses we’ve had, then we can choose to forgive.
It may not be easy, but by faith it really is possible. Is there any bitterness in your heart? Would you choose the pathway of forgiveness today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When I travel, I often take something that might seem unusual. It’s a book of worship choruses or perhaps a hymnal. When I’m busy and on the road, I need to take time to sing to the Lord.
I find that both hymns and choruses have value. A lot of the repetitive, simple choruses that we sing today are meaningful expressions of love to the Lord.
So many hymns that come to us through the history of the church are rich in theology. They communicate with a depth that we don’t always see in contemporary choruses. I think abandoning hymns leads us to a shallow, emotionally driven experience.
It may take more effort to sing “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God” than to sing a modern chorus, but the payoff of disciplining our minds to think great thoughts about God is well worth the effort.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Sweetheart, wake up!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Have you ever tried to change your mate into a more spiritual person? When a wife tries to take on this kind of “fix it” project, her focus is on something she can’t do anything about—her husband’s heart. It takes her mind off something she can do something about—cooperating with the Holy Spirit in changing her own heart.“Hmmm?”
“Don’t you remember? The pastor said that the man of the house should wake up early to read the Bible!”
(Snore)
“Harry, wake up! This is gonna be a Christian house whether you like it or not!”
The apostle Peter advises wives to be submissive, even to unbelieving husbands. Then he explains why in 1 Peter 3: “so that, if any of them do not believe the Word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”
Have you been approaching your husband with nagging words or with godly behavior?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Long hours. Thankless tasks. No breaks.
To our modern ears, it seems like being a housewife is an oppressive job. In Proverbs 31 we get a different picture. The homemaker described here isn’t seeking self-fulfillment. She isn’t interested in advancing her career, having her own bank account, or being known for her personal accomplishments.Instead, she doesn’t seem to worry about her own interests and needs at all, focusing instead on the practical needs of her husband and children.
The Bible tells us about this woman:
- She and her husband have food to eat and enough to share with others.
- Her husband’s crazy about her. He brags to his friends about her.
- She’s well dressed.
- She’s emotionally stable.
- Her children honor and praise her.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy L
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The Bible doesn’t give us a list of do’s and don’ts when it comes to modesty, but it does tell us, “Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another.”
Here are some suggestions that I think could help us as women humbly dress in a way that helps the men in our lives.
First, be careful about exposing too much. Let me get practical here. What do guys think when they see a slit halfway up the back of your skirt? What do they see when you walk or climb stairs? When you bend over or reach for something?
Second, be careful about what you’re emphasizing. Immodesty can mean partially covering private areas. I’ve heard guys say that partially covering the body can be even more seductive than totally uncovering it. It’s called teasing or tempting.
Can I appeal to you to approach your clothing with a humble heart toward others? It will mean a lot to guys who are trying to please the Lord.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Did you realize that when we don’t pray it’s a sin against God? First Samuel 12:23 says, “Far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you.”
When we don’t pray, it’s direct disobedience to the Word of God. First Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without ceasing.”
When we don’t pray, we’re vulnerable. Matthew 26:41 says, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”
When we don’t pray, we’re powerless. It limits our relationship with God. It hinders us from knowing His will, His priorities, and His direction.
When we don’t pray, we rely on what we can do instead of what He can do.
When we don’t pray, we’re showing pride, self-sufficiency, and lack of discipline.
When we don’t pray, it leaves us weak, harried, and hassled.
So, why don’t we pray? Let’s say with the disciples, “Teach us to pray.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Gypsy Smith was a 19th-century revivalist who did something unusual when he came to a new town. He’d stop on the outskirts and draw a circle in the dirt. Then he would stand inside that circle and say, “O God, please send a revival to this town, and let it begin inside this circle.”
It won’t do much good for me to ask God to convict the world around me of sin if there’s unconfessed sin in my own heart. The first step toward revival is to ask God to show us our sin and repent.
Would you ask God to revive His people? Would you let the Holy Spirit draw a circle within your own heart? Then say, “Lord, I long for You to send a revival to my nation, my church, my marriage, and my children. But Lord, would You first start a revival inside this circle? Let it begin in me.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: More than a century ago Frances Ridley Havergal wrote a hymn that helps us understand what it means to be surrendered to Christ.
“Take my life and let it be; consecrated, Lord, to Thee.”Nancy: Have you made an unconditional, lifetime surrender of your life to Christ?
“Take my moments and my days . . .”Nancy: Are you living each day in the light of eternity?
“Take my will and make it Thine . . .”Nancy: Are you stubborn? Demanding?
“Take myself and I will be; ever, only all for Thee.”Nancy: Have you surrendered all that you are and all that you have to God?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Moms, you can’t imagine how important it is for your children to know that you spend time with the Lord.
“I remember the mornings, even now. I would wake up to hear someone weeping in our front room. I would walk in and find my mother on her knees, praying.”Nancy: For them to know that when you wake them up, you’ve already prayed for them.
“Chills would just go through me, and I would start crying.”Nancy: Even now, whenever I’m tempted to skip my time with the Lord, I have the image of a mom and dad who spent time with God first thing in the morning.
“How comforting it was to hear her and see her there—just her and her God. I will always hide that in my mind.”Nancy: Your children know that the words of Isaiah 50:4 are true for you: “He wakens me morning by morning, wakens me like one being taught.”
“Watching her through my childhood, I have learned to make my own prayer time with just me and God. I love you, Mom. Thank you so very much.”With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We’ve all heard the story of the prophet Jonah. He thought he had a right to hate the pagan Ninevites. When they repented and God showed them mercy, the Bible says Jonah “was greatly displeased and angry.”
God’s response? “Do you have any right to be angry?”
Jonah thought he had the right to control his own life and environment—to have things go his way and to get upset when they didn’t. Sadly, that sounds a lot like me.
I often find myself annoyed when things don’t go my way: a rude driver, a decision at work, a long line at the checkout counter. It’s enough to leave me moody and uptight.
Then I have to answer the question, just like Jonah: “Do you have any right to get angry?”
As you face annoyances and frustration today, remember: The way to get off an emotional roller coaster is to yield our rights to God’s plan and purpose for our lives.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Did you know that the Bible has a lot to say about the kind of wife God wants you to be?
“Proverbs 31:11—Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”Nancy: Can your husband trust you to be morally faithful?
“Proverbs 31:12—She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”Nancy: Does your husband know that you’re committed to him no matter what?
“As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything—Ephesians 5:24.”Nancy: Are you submissive in your actions, as well as your attitudes?
Developing a portrait of biblical womanhood is a lifelong process. But thankfully, the Word of God has all we need to help us become the women that God created us to be.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: As believers in Christ, why should we still read the Old Testament?
“Well, I’m sure there’s some good stuff in there—if you can get past all the laws.”Nancy: If you've never experienced the richness of reading the whole Bible, you don't know what you're missing. There are themes running through the Bible that are woven together like a tapestry. By looking at the big picture, we can appreciate the beautiful story of redemption that God has given us.
“I guess I mainly read the New Testament. I don’t know.”Nancy: Personally, I find it helpful to read in both the Old and New Testaments at the same time. It’s amazing how the Old sheds light on the New and vice versa.
Jesus said, “Every teacher of the law who has been instructed about the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old.”
Have you been appreciating both the newer and the older treasures found in God’s Word?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I hated my sin. I felt like there was nothing I so much desired in this world as holiness. But the more I pursued and strove after it, the more it eluded my grasp.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Those words came from Hudson Taylor, a pioneer missionary to China, known for his faith and devotion. But it bothered him that he still gave in to sin.
“Often I am tempted to think that one so full of sin cannot be a child of God at all.”Nancy: Then a friend gave him this quote from a book called Christ is All.
“The Lord Jesus received is holiness begun. The Lord Jesus cherished is holiness advancing. The Lord Jesus counted upon as never absent would be holiness complete.”Nancy: Hudson Taylor took a new look at Christ and His holiness. Maybe you need to do the same thing. As you focus on Jesus instead of your own abilities, you'll be transformed into His image.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I don’t know about you, but I’ve discovered that there are some subtle ways of boasting without appearing to be boasting.
"I was talking with Pastor Johnson the other day, and he told me . . .”Nancy: Sometimes I’ll say something like, “Let me tell you about what’s going on in our ministry,” when in reality, I just want other people to know what I’ve done.“Well, if you ask me, I really think that the red dress looks much better . . .”
“Do you know what Caleb said to me the other day? He is so smart; he’s only four, you know . . .”
“In my opinion, they really should not be . . ."
That’s why Paul says, “I will not boast about anything that God has not done through me.” God is the One doing the work, so I really have nothing to boast about.
Take some time today and thank God for giving you everything—including your accomplishments. Acknowledging that everything we have is from Him is a good first step to keep us from boasting.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I wake up every morning knowing I need to spend time reading the Scripture and praying. But it’s so easy to jump into the details of my day without first taking time to be with the Lord.
Whenever I do that—when I start tackling the day without spending time with Him—I’m really saying that I can handle things on my own. I don’t need God.
Sometimes I get the sense that God may be saying, “You want to handle this day by yourself? Go ahead.” At best, it’s an empty, fruitless day lived for myself. And at worst, I end up in some big messes!
We need to learn from King David. Even though he was a busy leader, he made a point to spend his first moments with God. In Psalm 5 he says, “O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice.”
When I start the day by humbling myself and admitting that I can’t do things on my own, I can count on God to carry me through the day. Has He heard your voice yet today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The Song of Solomon tells the story about a king and his bride. There are a couple of times when she feels like she’s lost her bridegroom.
“I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him.“Nancy: I think that can be a picture of seasons we go through in our relationship with God. We can enjoy deep times of connecting with Him through the Bible and prayer, and then suddenly things seem to dry up.
If you’re in the middle of one of those times, don’t give up. Keep searching for the one you love through His Word and in prayer. Your search will be rewarded, and you’ll enjoy even deeper times together once a conscious sense of His presence has returned.
“When I found the one my heart loves, I held him and would not let him go.”With Seeking Him, I'm Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I used to wake up every day for devotions—until life gotso busy!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: It can be hard for busy moms to make time for the Lord first thing in the day. But the more I study the Word of God, the more convinced I am that we need to spend the first part of every day with Him.“I haven’t gotten up early to read the Bible in years.”
“My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee” (Psalm 5:3).Nancy: God is offering you an invitation. Would you ask Him to waken you tomorrow morning when He wants to meet with you?“I cry to you for help, O LORD; in the morning my prayer comes before you” (Psalm 88:13).
“Awake, my soul! Awake harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn” (Psalm 57:8).
“I rise before dawn and cry for help” (Psalm 119:147).
“He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught” (Isaiah 50:4).With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When’s the last time you thought about modesty?
“I didn't think about modesty at all until this lady at church brought it up and started talking to me about it.”Nancy: The Bible exhorts women to “adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.” But the truth is, a lot of women just go with the flow when it comes to fashion.
“I decided to throw out half my wardrobe!”Nancy: If you’ve never given modesty much thought, here are some questions you might ask yourself:
- Am I dressing for the attention of others or for God’s glory?
- Do my choices reflect discretion and self-control?
- Am I evaluating my wardrobe by God’s Word or by the latest fashion magazine?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When you pass a police officer on the side of the road, do you find that you're a little extra careful to do everything just right? There’s something about the uniform that impresses us.
God is far more powerful than any police officer.
First Peter 5 says that “God resists the proud.” When you dig a little there, you find the idea that God is in “battle array” against the proud. It’s kind of like that intimidating, uniformed police officer with his gun drawn.
But there’s good news. First Peter 5 goes on to say that God “gives grace to the humble.” Like a police officer responding to a call, God comes to our rescue when we humbly cry out to Him.
If you’re in a tricky situation today, have you prayed about it? Humbling yourself in prayer is like dialing 9-1-1.
But if you try to handle things all on your own, you might be facing the resistance of the toughest, strongest person you could ever imagine.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I love taking care of my family. But when I need that alone time, I always feel like I have an audience. Someone always needs me every moment of the day.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Do you ever feel like you’re always surrounded by people with needs? Jesus faced the same thing. Luke 5 says, “Crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses.”
Jesus could not have met the needs of all those people if He hadn’t stayed connected with His Father. Luke 5 goes on to tell us that Jesus often “withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
Where can you go to get a few minutes alone? If you can get away and spend some time in prayer and the Word of God, I think you’ll find yourself relating to your needy crowd differently.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Now here’s something amazing: According to Hebrews 1, angels are available to attend to us, just as they helped Jesus. Hebrews says, “Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?”
In that verse the Greek word used to describe the help angels give us is the same word that’s used in Mark to describe the help they gave Jesus. Maybe you’re in a time of intense temptation or some other battle. God has unseen servants available to strengthen you—just as He helped His Son. All you need to do is ask for His help.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I look at what teenagers are wearing now, and it really scares me for my five-year-old daughter. She’s going to face so much pressure to wear immodest clothing when she grows up. What can I do now to help get her ready for that?Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Well, let me say that it’s good that you’re starting young! Don’t wait until your daughter is a pre-teen to address these issues.
Starting young means dressing your daughter modestly now. Don’t put her in skimpy outfits when she’s little expecting her to change her look once she grows up.
Another thing you can do is to model godly choices. Help her understand what modesty is and how it affects your clothing. Rather than throwing a lot of rules at her, keep your emphasis on the heart. Show her how a heart for the Lord can be seen in clothing choices that honor Him.
If you have the courage to address these issues now, you’ll be glad as your daughter gets older.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I used to read the Bible and pray all the time, but then it became kind of boring. I wish I knew how that happens.“Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We all go through dry times in our walk with the Lord. That dryness can be a result of unconfessed sin. That's why we need to ask God whether any issue is keeping us separated from Him.
But spiritual dry spells can also be God’s way of revealing what’s in our hearts. Are we worshiping Him because of the sensation it gives us or just because He is worthy of worship?
And then God sometimes, I think, allows us to go through dry times just to let us love and worship Him by faith.
Job gives us an example of responding by faith, even when you’re feeling dry. He said, “When he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. . . . I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(answering machine) This is Seeking Him with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Please leave your question at the tone. (beep)
“Lately, I feel like my husband’s been pressuring me to keep up with the latest fashions. But I really feel like a lot of it is immodest. What should I do?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I suggest you try to find out what’s motivating your husband and make sure you’re fulfilling his desires in every legitimate way. Are you meeting his physical needs in private? In public, are you dressing attractively? Do you know what kind of clothes and hairstyle he likes?
If you’re doing all you can and he still wants you to dress immodestly, then make a humble appeal. Let him know that you want to please him, that your body is fully available to him, but that you want it to be reserved for his eyes. Then keep making it a matter of prayer, and give God a chance to speak to his heart.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“When I sit down to pray, my mind just goes blank! I know there are things that I need to be praying for, but I can never remember what.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I think we’ve all been there. Even the apostle Paul said, “We do not know how to pray as we ought.” He realized that he needed help in knowing how to pray according to the will of God. But he also realized that God had met that need by giving the Holy Spirit.
So Paul wrote, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. . . . [He] intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.”
“Holy Spirit, I don’t know the will of the Father in this area. I don’t know what to pray. But the Bible says that You’ll help me in my weakness and that You’re going to intercede for me. Would You please do that now?”With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I don't hold any grudges. I'm good.”Nancy: Have you ever been hurt? Has anyone lied to you?
“Yeah, and I wouldn’t mind if something bad happened to them.”Nancy: Have you ever been treated unfairly by an employer?
“Every time I think about it, I still feel angry.”Nancy: Maybe you've been cheated in a business deal.
“I really want to get back at them!”Nancy: Or perhaps you've been slandered or falsely accused?
“I can thank God for every situation—except that one.”Nancy: If you respond to past hurts with those kinds of statements, maybe you haven’t truly forgiven. But you can. God is willing to forgive us for so much, and He can give us the strength to forgive others. Would you choose to release those who have hurt you?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“My daughter’s always been pretty modest. Now we’re in the pre-teen years. I look around at what teens are wearing, and I wonder if we’re going to have some issues.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: In our culture it can be a challenge to raise kids who have a heart for modesty. I would just encourage you to talk about this issue with your daughter. Don’t be afraid to be open.
Your daughter might not always agree with you, but remember you’re the mother. Your job is to train her to be godly and to give her specific, practical instruction about how to be modest in dress and behavior.
If possible, encourage your husband to develop a strong relationship with your daughter and talk with her about true beauty and modesty.
Finally, ask God to help you set a godly example, not only in the way you dress, but even more importantly, in your actions and in your heart attitudes.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
”When I wake up grumpy, I’m usually mad at myself for oversleeping. Then, I take my frustration out on my husband and my kids.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: If you can relate, listen to this great advice from the old-time preacher, Charles Spurgeon. He said, “It is a good rule never to look into the face of man in the morning until you have looked into the face of God.”
The psalmist put it this way: “I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.”
If you have trouble being kind to others in the morning, maybe the answer is to get up early enough to be alone with God. Cry out for help.
Let the face of God be the first one you see. You may be surprised at how it changes the way you relate to other people throughout the day.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
I do know that God shows us His will in His Word. So if I pray according to what the Scripture says, I can know that I’m praying God’s will.
For example, I know from Ephesians 5 that it’s God’s will for this husband to love his wife in the same way Christ loves the church. So I can pray that this husband will learn to do that.
I also pray based on God’s Word that this wife will learn to reverence her husband and to submit to his leadership in their home. I pray that they would walk in love, in oneness, and in truth.
The next time you want to pray according to God’s will and you’re not quite sure what that is, try opening your Bible, and you’ll find out.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Okay, what do you say?”Nancy: But do we have a grateful heart ourselves? It’s so easy to forget to say, “Thank you,” to God.(child with mouth full) “Thank you.”
Jesus once cured ten lepers, telling them to go verify their healing with the priest.
Luke’s Gospel tells us that “one of them, when he saw he was healed, came back praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him.” Jesus wondered why the other nine didn’t say thank you. He said, “Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?”
I think we’re too often like one of those nine lepers. God has delivered us from the awful disease of sin, and praise should be our natural response. But so many times, we just forget.
How long has it been since you stopped to thank Jesus for all He has done for you?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(voices arguing)Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Are you willing to forgive . . . everybody?“I don’t like to even think about those arguments right before the divorce . . . it’s behind me.”
“There’s no way I could forgive the things he said.”Nancy: Sometimes forgiveness seems impossible—until we realize what the Bible says about God’s forgiveness.
“God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions.”Nancy: Thinking about how much God’s forgiven us will change the way we view other people’s sin.
“I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”Nancy: Spend some time thinking about how much your sin has offended God and the incredible forgiveness He offers. It will make it easier to forgive those who have sinned against you.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Second Samuel 7 gives us one of King David’s prayers. All he does is ask God to keep the word that came to him through the prophet Nathan. David says to God, “Keep forever the promise you have made concerning your servant and his house. Do as you promised, so that your name will be great forever.”
God had already promised that one of David’s descendants would continue to sit on the throne. David was just repeating in prayer what had already been promised.
We can do the same thing by praying the Bible back to God. If you ever feel like you don’t know God’s will and don’t know what to pray, try opening the Bible and asking God to do the things He’s already promised.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“They won’t argue with me; I’m the head of the committee. We’ll get what we want.”Nancy: Philippians 2:6-7 tells us how Jesus acted when He came to earth. It says He “did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant.”
Jesus didn’t cling to His rights as God or boast about who He was. Think about all the times in the Gospels when people didn’t understand Him, recognize Him, or respect Him. But He never used His position to overpower them because He came to love and to serve.
If we want to be like Jesus, we need to remember what it says in 1 Corinthians: “Love does not boast.”
Have you been throwing your weight around, or are you spreading Christ’s love?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Okay. I’m really going to do it this week. I’m going to wake up early and pray and read the Bible. (Sigh) I say this every week, and it never seems to work.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I’ve learned something important about having a devotional time early in the morning. Success starts the night before. Our choices in the evening will affect our time with God the next morning.
One reason my dad consistently spent his first hour with the Lord each day is that he was disciplined about getting to bed on time the night before. We kids have laughed thinking about the times he said to guests, “Good night, y’all! Be sure to lock the door and turn out the lights when you leave.”
He didn’t communicate a rigid spirit. He just didn’t want to miss the most important meeting of his day.
Psalm 143:8 says: “Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning.” Tomorrow morning you have a chance to spend uninterrupted time with God Himself. How can you prepare tonight?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
The prophet said, “With lies you have made the heart of the righteous sad . . . and you have strengthened the hands of the wicked, so that he does not turn from his wicked way.”
Sadly, I think that many of today’s Christian authors, speakers, and counselors are “strengthening the hands of the wicked” by telling people they don’t need to repent for sin. They don’t intend to deceive, but their teachings, for example, justify anger . . .
“Actually, it’s healthy to go ahead and express your feelings.”Nancy: . . . and selfishness . . .
“You’ve got to put boundaries between you and demanding people.”Nancy: . . . irresponsibility.
“You have every right to act that way; you’ve been wounded by others.”Nancy: We need to constantly be asking ourselves, What’s the message here? What does the Bible say? Remember what Paul said? “Let no one deceive you with empty words.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“It’s easy to talk to God when I’m in church or to pray when I’m in Bible study.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: As part of a community of faith, we need times to worship and pray with other believers.
“But I don’t pray much when I’m alone. It’s just hard for me to come up with the time.”Nancy: But we also need time that is set apart just between God and us.
“Truth is, maybe I’m afraid of what He’ll show me.”Nancy: There are parts of our relationship with God that can only be nurtured in a solitary place. In Exodus 34 we read that God called Moses up to meet with Him on Mount Sinai. God said, “Present yourself to me there on top of the mountain. No one is to come with you.”
But you know, it’s not just Moses. We need time alone with the Lord, too—in the Word and in prayer. When’s the last time you spent undistracted, quality moments with God, allowing Him to search your heart? Would you make some plans to get away with Him?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Every day I get up at dawn, get my tea, and read the Bible on the back porch. I've been doing it that way for years! But lately, I’m doing all the same things, but the joy just isn’t there. I’m not really connecting with God.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Sometimes we can get in a devotional rut. We get so focused on the mechanics of what we’re doing that we lose the meaning behind it.
I do recommend using a regular Bible reading plan. But occasionally, when I need some freshness in my devotional life, I may take a few days out from my normal Bible reading schedule to focus on and meditate on just a few verses.
Psalm 77:12: “I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.” The last couple of days I’ve stayed on that verse and spent a long time thinking about all of the amazing things God’s done. It’s been great!
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
”And Lord, I pray that . . . um . . . you’ll keep us safe . . . and . . .”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I’ve come to believe that a rushed or hurried attitude is one of the deadliest enemies of an effective devotional life.“Come on, Mom, we’re ready!”
“Oh dear, it’s 7 o’clock—we’re late!”
“Come on, we’ve got to go!”
I remember years ago hearing Henry Blackaby explain how he felt rushed in the morning when he woke up to pray and read the Bible. God convicted him about this, so he started getting up half an hour earlier. He still felt rushed, so he started earlier.
Dr. Blackaby said, “I kept moving the time up in the morning until I knew that I could meet with God as long as He wanted to meet with me, without being hurried.”
Do you feel hurried when you meet with God? What would it take for you to meet with God as long as He wanted tomorrow morning?
Isaiah 26:9: ”My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I used to enjoy worship times at church. But now, the struggles at home just fill my mind all the time, and I can’t really get into praising God.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Sometimes we have to praise God no matter how we feel or what we’re going through.
God had promised David that he would be the next king of Israel. But then David found himself for years hiding in the wilderness being chased by an insecure egomaniac named Saul. In those dark circumstances, David wrote Psalm 34.
“I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continuallybe in my mouth.”Nancy: When he decided to praise the Lord, David’s heart was lifted.
“My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; the humble shall hear of it and be glad.”Nancy: Praise isn’t a response to our circumstances, which are constantly changing. Praise is a response to the goodness of God who never changes.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“My son stole from me, lied to me, and took advantage of me. He messed up his kids, and now that he’s in jail—I’ve got to raise them!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Is forgiveness really possible in every situation?
“Don’t talk to me about forgiveness when I’m living with his bad choices every day!”Nancy: When we’re deeply affected by other people’s sin, forgiveness might seem impossible—until we think about how our sin affected Jesus.
The Bible tells us, “He was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities . . . and by his wounds we are healed.”
Maybe you’re living with the effects of other people’s sin. Maybe it seems impossible to forgive. Why don’t you spend some time thinking about your sin—the sin that caused Jesus to suffer on the cross?
You can forgive others with the same forgiveness you’ve received from Him.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“When I get up to have my quiet time with God, I see all the toys in front of me and realize I need to clean up. Then I see the pile of yesterday’s mail and realize I need to pay bills. It’s hard to concentrate! Can you think of anything that will help me concentrate better?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Believe me, I understand! I get this amazing urge to do housework when I’m trying to pray. One thing I’ve found helpful is to find a place away from all the distractions.
In one corner of my study, there’s a comfortable chair that’s become my quiet time chair. Just like Moses pitching the “tent of meeting” outside the Israelite camp, I’ve often used this chair as my place set apart to meet with God.
When is the last time you spent undistracted time alone with the Lord? Let me encourage you to find the place in your home—maybe even in your vehicle—that’s most conducive for meeting with Him. Then go there, and spend time in the Word of God and prayer.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Well, it seems like I pray for all my family and every missionary I know. I never know what else to pray for.“Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I think Daniel gives us a good example of knowing how to pray according to God’s will. The nation of Israel was in exile. While reading the prophet Jeremiah, Daniel discovered that their captivity would last seventy years.
Daniel prayed for the outcome that had already been promised in the Scriptures. He said, “Lord, hear and act! For your sake, my God, do not delay.”
By praying for God’s revealed will to be done on earth, Daniel aligned himself with the heart, the plan, and the purposes of God. Through prayer, he became a partner with God in fulfilling those purposes.
You can do the same thing. If you don’t know what to pray for, try praying through the Scriptures. Ask God to align your heart with the things He wants to do.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I don’t think parents should impose their standards on their kids’ clothing. We should let them express themselves. I mean, I may not like everything my kids wear, but they’ve got the right to make their own decisions.”Nancy: It’s true that parents can give their children freedom to express their own tastes. But parents are also responsible to teach their children about modesty. Daughters need to be taught how guys think when they see provocative clothing. Sons need to be taught to run from temptation.
Children also need boundaries and guidelines when they’re still at home. They need parents to help them show restraint.
“But mom—it’s just a belly button. What does it matter?”Nancy: What are you teaching your kids about modesty? Will they leave home knowing how to be modest? And most important, will they have a heart that wants to be modest?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
In the Song of Solomon, two types of women are described. One is like a wall; the other like a door. What does that mean?
I think that a wall represents a woman whose life is based on convictions. She doesn’t bend to pressure. When men come along with the wrong kind of advances, she doesn’t give in easily. She has established her life on the truth of God’s Word.
The other kind of woman is like a door that can easily be swayed because her life isn’t built on biblical convictions. She’s vulnerable to temptation. She’s turned aside from integrity and actually becomes a source of temptation herself.
When temptation comes, are you easily moved? Or are you in the process of building your life on God’s Word? Stability comes when we’re seeking Him through His Word.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Climate control—70.”Nancy: Now that’s interesting, but it’s nothing compared to the amazing power of God’s Word. He spoke and created out of nothing!
The apostle Peter reminds us that “by God’s word the heavens existed and the earth was formed.”
It’s the same Word planted by the Spirit of God in our hearts that causes us to be born again. In 1 Peter 1:23 we read, “For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.”
God’s Word is so amazing! Where would we be without it? When’s the last time you thanked and worshiped God for His Word?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Welcome to Starbees. Would you like to try our special today?”Nancy: But when I turned thirty, my body started to feel the effects of years of junk food. It was begging for a more nutritious, balanced diet. I needed to make some drastic changes.
I’m sad to say there have been times when I’ve fallen into the habit of spiritual fast food. Grabbing a quick verse here, saying a brief prayer there, meeting with God on the run. The problem is, devotions like that always leave us spiritually malnourished.
But Psalm 81:16 tells us what happens when we listen to Him. It says: “You would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.”
Do you need to slow down and let God satisfy your hungry heart?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
”When my daughter was born, I said, “Lord, this child belongs to you.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: It’s easy to say that we surrender ourselves or our children to the Lord. Following through with it can be more difficult.
“Now my daughter’s getting ready to work as a missionary halfway around the world. I find myself worrying all the time about her safety.”Nancy: There’s no safer place than in the center of God’s will. Psalm 91 tells us about God’s amazing protection.“Bye, I love you guys.” (jet plane taking off)
It says, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
God doesn’t promise that we’ll never face danger. But He promises to provide a refuge for those who love Him and to keep them from fear.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Not a problem for me. In fact, I was talking yesterday about this with my friend. We know a lady named Sarah who just can’t keep her mouth shut . . .”Nancy: Do you gossip? Slander others with your tongue?
”Well, I’m not saying anything that’s not true. Susan told me yesterday that she and her husband . . .”Nancy: Do you have a critical tongue?
“I can’t believe she could be so dumb as to think she could get away with borrowing the car."Nancy: Do you speak words that are useless?
“I was watching yesterday, and Rachel was talking with Monica about all the guys she had been with . . .”Nancy: How often do you express thanks?
“They were out of the jumbo size! I had to buy mega instead!”Nancy: Ephesians 4:29 says: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up.” Have you been building up or tearing down with your tongue today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“She was so rude! I’m going to get her back!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The Bible has a lot to say about the way we respond to people who hurt us. Things like: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”
“He drives me crazy!”Nancy: “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you.”
“I’ll give her a taste of her own medicine!”Nancy: “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.”
“She said she was sorry. Yeah, right.”Nancy: “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
Today it’s likely that someone’s going to hurt, annoy, or inconvenience you. The question is: Will you respond biblically with patience and forgiveness?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
My mom had six children in her first five years of marriage. She had an incredibly hard job, but she was content to serve in the role God gave her. She told me that she didn’t know she was supposed to be unhappy until others told her she shouldn’t have to deal with all the demands on her.
Her life stands in contrast to the women I know who look for satisfaction outside their home. While thinking they’ll find more meaning and fulfillment, they usually only find more stress.
Proverbs 7 describes a foolish woman and says, “Her feet never stay at home.” Has God called you to be a keeper in your home, serving your husband and children for His glory? Let me encourage you to stay with this important work. Keep serving for His glory and your ultimate satisfaction.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“If I forgive him, how do I know anything will change? I mean, I can’t just let him off the hook . . . can I?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We all have a natural desire for justice to be done, and it can keep us from forgiving other people. We think that if we offer forgiveness, it means they’ll “get away with it.” The problem is, we’re putting ourselves in the position of a bill collector.
Romans 12 has something to say about that: “Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’”
When we forgive someone, it’s like taking a prisoner who’s been in our custody and handing him over to the One who is truly responsible and able to mete out justice.
Have you been holding someone in the prison of unforgiveness? Remember, that’s not your job. As you let him go, you’ll find that you’ve been set free.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
The Old Testament priests had some regular routines they had to perform. In Exodus 30 we read, “Aaron must burn fragrant incense on the altar every morning when he tends the lamps. He must burn incense again when he lights the lamps at twilight so incense will burn regularly before the LORD.”
The priest didn’t offer incense whenever he happened to think of it. He did it every day. God was pursuing a relationship with His people, and He knew that required daily communication.
Do you realize that God is still pursuing a relationship with His people? With you? The incense that the priest once offered is a picture of our prayers.
As you go about your daily routines, are you consistently doing the most important thing? Are you communicating with God in prayer and through His Word?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I’ve heard you talk about modesty, and I couldn’t agree more! I’ve watched styles come and go for decades, and I’ve always been modest.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: It’s possible to have a modest appearance and yet have a self-righteous, judgmental attitude.
“Our church has a bus ministry, and the way these young people show up just shocks me! I want to say, 'If you want to dress like that, just stay home.'”Nancy: True beauty is internal and spiritual. We ought to honor God through the way we dress, but our outward appearance should be a reflection of an inward spirit that’s pure and submissive to Christ.
“And the pastor’s wife . . . oh, don’t get me started on her!”Nancy: Would you ask God to help you communicate modesty to others in a winsome way? Ask Him to help you speak truth with a tender and compassionate heart.
Cultivating a modest and gentle heart is an important part of seeking Him.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Do you find yourself listening to the world’s way of thinking? It’s pervasive. It comes to us through TV, magazines, movies, friends, malls, and catalogs. A steady diet of worldly influences will shape our view of what’s valuable, what’s beautiful, and what’s important.
We can’t expose ourselves to the world’s false, deceptive ways and expect to come out unscathed. Eve’s first mistake wasn’t eating the fruit. It was listening to the serpent.
As you and I listen to input today, let’s remember the words of Psalm 1:
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of the mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
There’s nothing wrong with watching the news, but ultimately, it’s not the most reliable source of information.
In dark times, the Word of God gives light, understanding, and wisdom. That’s why we sometimes need to unplug and open the Bible.
Scripture gives us perspective. It reminds us that God is our refuge. A present help in time of trouble. It gives us faith in times that are fearful. We’re reminded that we don’t have to fear even though “the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea.”
Where do you go for true perspective? To the television, websites, or blogs? Or to the Word of God?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I don’t know why, but when I was six someone said I shouldn’t have been born.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: A lot of women fall for the lie that says, “You’re not worth anything.” A lot of times that deception is fueled by the uncaring words of others.
“For a long time I thought of myself as just worthless.”Nancy: Someone may have made an off-hand remark to you that made you feel worthless. When that happened, it was like a foolish person throwing away a beautiful painting because she didn’t recognize its value.
But imagine an art collector who comes along, finds the unwanted painting, and cherishes it as a masterpiece. That’s what God’s done for you.
Ephesians 1 says, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” When He sent His Son to die for your sin, He gave you your value. You are precious to Him.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I’ve forgiven her . . . all right?! Give me a break!”Nancy: How can you know that you’ve truly forgiven someone who has hurt you? When you think of them, what’s the attitude of your heart? Do you feel:
- An emotional churning?
- A desire for revenge?
- Is it hard to ask God to bless them?
- Is it hard to see any of their good qualities?
- Do you wish everyone knew their bad qualities?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Strict and rigid.”Nancy: Here’s what C.S. Lewis had to say on the topic: “How little people know who think that holiness is dull. When one meets the real thing . . . it is irresistible.”“They’re probably not very fun.”
“They’ve got to have their t’s crossed and their i’s dotted just right, you know, uptight all the time.”
Jesus was the real thing. He was perfectly holy and overflowing with joy. When we love Him and obey Him, we’ll be filled with joy, too. We’ll be free from the weight and burden of sin and able to obey the Scripture that says: “You must be holy for I am holy.”
Sin will rob us of everything that we truly enjoy. But when we’ve been forgiven, walking with our Lord in holiness, we’ll know the joy of having clean hands, a pure heart, and a clear conscience. Why settle for anything less?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
How in the world could she be motivated to help these men?
Ten years following the murder, she said, “God has given me the power to say something I never thought I could say—‘I forgive.’”
It seems impossible, doesn’t it? But Scripture says, “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Is there someone you need to forgive? Don’t hold on to the hatred one day longer. If Regina could forgive those gang members and if God could forgive your sin, you can let your offender go as well.
Would you choose the pathway of forgiveness today?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
For decades, Miss Havisham remained in her wedding dress and veil, letting them turn to rags. She pulled heavy drapes across the windows and refused any sunlight. Instead of cleaning up her wedding cake, she let it decay and get eaten by mice.
She said, “The mice have gnawed at it, and sharper teeth than teeth of mice have gnawed at me.”
Maybe you know what those teeth are like—the sharp edges of bitterness and unforgiveness eating at joy and eroding away peace.
I want to tell you, there’s life and health outside the dark, musty walls of hurt and bitterness. You can find freedom today by choosing to forgive those who have wronged you.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I didn’t ask to be born into my family. I certainly didn’t ask for them to treat me that way.”Nancy: But we do have a choice about how we respond to life’s circumstances.
”Aww, it’s time that I forgive mom and dad.”Nancy: All of us are affected by our circumstances, but we don’t have to be controlled by them.
If our happiness and well-being depends on what happens to us, we’ll always see ourselves as victims.
But the fact is the outcome of our lives is not determined by what happens to us but by how we respond to what happens to us.
You may feel trapped because of the wounds inflicted by someone else. But you can find freedom by choosing to respond to those people with grace and forgiveness.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Whatever God brings to my mind—that’s what I pray for.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: No matter how you organize prayer requests, I think we need to make sure to pray for three categories of things.“I pray down my list every day.”
First, pray for the advancement of Christ’s kingdom in the world.
“Lord, hallowed be Your Name. Your name is holy. May Your name be worshiped and honored by Your people everywhere.”Nancy: We also need to pray for other people.
“Lord, would You give wisdom to the President?"Nancy: Then we need to be praying for ourselves.“Please give the pastor courage to do Your will and do it in Your strength.”
“Please guard my motives and my attitudes.”Nancy: If your praying is sporadic or seems unbalanced, why don’t you try this pattern? Pray for His kingdom, others, and then yourself.“Help me to love you with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.”
“Lead me with humility.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Please leave your question at the tone.” (beep)Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Not necessarily. You don’t want to live by your emotions, but there is something to be said for maintaining any good habit—even if we’re not full of warm feelings.“My quiet time seems like something to check off my to-do list every day. If I really loved God, wouldn’t I jump out of bed every morning and run to spend time with Him?”
A lot of times when we’re faithful to carry out a discipline, the desire follows. For instance, even if a woman doesn’t feel warm toward her husband, she can act in a loving way. And she’ll probably find that her feelings for him will grow.
The same is true in our relationship with God. As Charles Spurgeon said:
“We should pray when we are in a praying mood, for it would be sinful to neglect so fair an opportunity. We should pray when we are not in the proper mood, for it would be dangerous to remain in so unhealthy a condition.”With Seeking Him, I'm Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: A newborn baby can be so fretful and disturbed. It seems like you can’t do anything to comfort it. But when a mom pulls the baby close and begins to feed it, everything’s okay.
That’s the way God wants to relate to us. One of the names of God is El Shaddai. That’s usually translated “God Almighty” in English. But there’s more to this name than suggested by that translation.
El or Elohim speaks of God’s power and strength. But the wordShaddai is a tender, touching word that speaks of a nursing mother supplying everything a child needs.
The name El Shaddai tells us that God is the strength-giver and satisfier of His people. What do you need today? Instead of looking around for a solution or inward to your own strength, look to El Shaddai for everything you need.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
“My husband leaves for work when it’s dark and comes home when it’s dark. The kids never even get to see him.”Nancy: They may be physically out of the house or just emotionally disconnected.
“My husband comes home and stays on the couch all evening. It’s like having another piece of furniture!”Nancy: You may feel like the woman in Proverbs 7 who says, “My husband is not at home; he’s gone on a long journey.”
This woman is in the process of initiating an affair with a young man in her area. She’s responding to her husband’s absence by looking for counterfeit love.
But true, godly love stays faithful, even when a husband is “away.” Even if it feels like you’re often left alone, you glorify God by staying faithful to your marriage. And then be sure to take the matter to the Lord. He truly can direct and change your husband’s heart.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
"I’ve got to word this report in a way that sets me apart from the pack."Nancy: But humble people desire to promote others.
"How can I word this so that everybody gets the credit they deserve?"Nancy: Proud people feel wounded when others are promoted and they’re overlooked.
"Why would they put her in charge?"Nancy: Humble people are excited when others are lifted up.
"Congratulations! Let me know how I can help."Nancy: Proud people are elated by praise and deflated by criticism.
"He’s always shooting my ideas down!"Nancy: Humble people know that any praise for their accomplishments belongs to the Lord.
"It’s just by God’s grace."Nancy: What does recognition—or the lack of it—reveal about the condition of your heart?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
This family had to actually tear down their entire home, brick by brick, all the way down to the foundation. In its place they built a new, mold-free house.
That mold is a picture of what sin does to us. It contaminates us to the core of our souls. To fix the problem, we don’t need reform or renovation. Instead, we need to put our sinful flesh to death.
In Colossians 3 we’re told to put to death immorality, anger, slander. Getting rid of those things is like taking the old house down.
Then we’re told to put on the qualities we see in Christ: compassion, kindness, humility, and patience. These are the building materials that will help us build a new toxin-free house.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Ken Hale was one of the heroic firefighters working to control the fire. He said, “As soon as I had found out people had died, it changed my entire outlook on the fire. It became something very deadly, a monster.”
Some of us need that kind of change in perspective regarding sin. We’ve all seen how sins like adultery can destroy a life. But sins that we consider “small” can be deadly, too. Our hearts for God can be destroyed when the fires of jealousy, anger, self-pity, worry, or gluttony go unchecked.
The book of James says, “After desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”
Are any sparks of sin threatening to engulf your life?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
- Is your thought life pure?
- Do you find yourself imagining what it would be like to do certain things with certain people?
- Are you careful in relationships with the opposite sex?
- Do you guard your eyes from anything that might tempt you morally?
- Do you secretly wonder what it would be like to have another man’s wife? Or another woman’s husband?
- When you watch or read things—are they pure and lovely?
- Do you have any secret or private habits that aren’t pure?
Ask God to fill you with His power and help you to say no to temptation today. He can help you live a life of purity.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I felt like giving everything to God would mean I couldn’t enjoy anything again.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When we choose the pathway of surrender, we may think it will be the end.
“Finally, things got so bad that I had to surrender everything to God.”Nancy: It is the end for our pride and the rule of our flesh, but it’s just the beginning of life in the Spirit.
When Jesus predicted His death, He said, “The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified.”
He explained what He meant in John 12: “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.”
Jesus calls us to die so He can produce His life in and through us. Have you done that? As one friend said to me:
“It’s like going from black and white to full color.”With Seeking Him, I'm Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
The truth though was at that point in my life, I was perilously close to several of those pitfalls myself.
I had to admit to those Christian workers that I needed this message as much as anyone. As a speaker, I needed to be honest about my own weakness and my need for God’s grace.
Psalm 138:6 says, “Though the LORD is on high, yet He regards the lowly; but the proud He knows from afar.” What opportunity has God given you today to humble yourself and express your need?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
First I had to tighten and lubricate the bow. Then I had to adjust the height of the cello. Then each string had to be tuned. These preparations made a big difference in the sound.
Preparation also affects the time I spend in God’s Word and prayer. Going to bed early enough the night before helps to “tune my heart.” It also helps to meditate on Him as I’m going to sleep.
Then, when I wake up, I need to ask Him to help me connect with Him. I want the words of Isaiah 50, verse 4 to be true of me. It says, “He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen as one being taught.”
What can you do to prepare to connect with God and worship Him in the morning?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I love pizza.”Nancy: In English we describe some very different things with the same word.
“I love this car.”Nancy: The New Testament is more precise and uses several different words for the concept of love. It uses one Greek word for romantic love, another for friendship, and another word—agape—to represent the love God shows us.
Someone has described agape love as totally giving of myself to meet the needs of another person without expecting anything in return. God has poured this love out on us, and He calls us to showagape love to each other. That doesn’t come naturally. But when we ask God to love other people through us, He will.
Are you showing God’s love today? Giving of yourself without expecting anything in return?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I’m trying to get my work out there—build a name for myself.”Nancy: John the Baptist challenges our normal way of thinking. In his humble spirit he said, “The one who is coming after me, Christ the Messiah, I am not worthy to untie His sandals. He must increase, and I must decrease.”“It’s like brand recognition, only I’m my own brand.”
Is that your heart attitude? Do you want Jesus to be exalted? Do you want to increase His reputation?
Trying to build a name for ourselves is frustrating because we can never do enough. But when we serve for God’s glory and focus on making His name great—that’s when we find true fulfillment.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“My wife thinks I put in way too many hours, but I have a career to think about. I have a life, too.”Nancy: When it comes to surrendering control of our lives, the moment when we are converted to Christ is just the beginning. That moment sets the stage for a lifetime of surrender, continually sayingno to self and yes to God.“Sometimes I just lose it! Why can’t my husband do things the way I would do them?”
Many Christians I know live discouraged, defeated lives because they’re trying to manage things on their own. As a result, they’re living out of alignment with the Lord who created and redeemed them.
Could it be there are issues you are reserving the right to control your own life?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
I’ve tried to set aside time on special days to think about God’s goodness and to ask Him for help in the coming year. Here’s a prayer I wrote in my journal on my 35th birthday:
As I look ahead to another year of life, I am reminded that I may not spend another year here on this earth. You may call me to heaven, or the Lord Jesus may return for His bride.As you observe days that are meaningful to you, why not take some time to write down what God is doing in your life? It might make just another holiday into a holy day.Teach me to number my days and recognize how few they are; help me to spend them as I should. Oh God, I seek Your blessing and Your favor, for having them, I lack nothing. I would seek to please You rather than men.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Mary: “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.”
Nancy: One thing that impresses me about this prayer is that it shows Mary knew the Word of God. In those days women didn’t have a formal education, and Mary was probably illiterate. But she had listened to the Word of God and hidden it in her heart. Her prayer in Luke 1 has at least a dozen quotations from the Old Testament.
Mary: “He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.”
Nancy: Are you that familiar with the Word of God? Are your prayers, responses, and words saturated with His way of thinking?
Mary: “He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty.”
Nancy: The best way to know God’s Word is to spend some time reading it today.
Mary: “He has helped His servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“The best gift I could give my kids? The latest Xbox 360.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Those gifts are valuable—for a while. But there are some gifts you can give your children that will last forever. First, teach them to ask, “What does God want to do with my life?” Second, release them to follow God’s will—whatever that may mean and wherever that may take them.“I’d love to give them the VeggieTales DVDs.”
“Let’s see. Right now in our house, it would be a go-cart. I would really like a go-cart.”
I’ve known parents who can’t stand the thought of their kids leaving town so they discourage them from following God’s call to another part of the country or the world.
I thank God for the freedom my siblings and I have had in serving the Lord because of parents who gave those gifts. My widowed mother would still enjoy having her children and grandchildren close by, but more than that, she would rather us be right where God wants us.
Encourage your kids to seek God’s will. And when He reveals it, be willing to release them, wherever that may be.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Taking time to write out specific passages from God’s Word forces us to think about what we’re reading. It helps us observe details of the text more carefully.
In the Old Testament God often told the Israelites to copy His law. In Deuteronomy 6:9 we read, “Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Another time they were told to set up some large boulders and “write very clearly all the words of this law on these stones you have set up.”
You may find it helpful to do the same thing. If you find that it’s hard to concentrate when you read, why not try transcribing the passage you’re reading? And if you’re really ambitious, you may want to do what one of my friends did and actually make your own copy of the entire Bible!
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(rushed) “Yeah, and oh God, bless my kids today, and keep us safe, and help all the missionaries all over the world, amen!”Nancy: And sometimes we listen, but don’t respond.
(rushed) “‘She has anointed my body beforehand for burial. And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.’ (slams Bible shut) It’s 7; I’ve got to stop!”Nancy: I think we find a great balance in the life of Mary of Bethany. In Luke 10 we find her sitting at Jesus’ feet, listening to His Word. But she wasn’t just satisfied to receive from Jesus. No, worship was the natural response of her grateful heart. She anointed Jesus’ head and feet at a dinner in His honor.
We all need time in God’s Word, hearing from Him. And we also need times when we respond in worship. Have you been taking time to listen to God and to respond to Him?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
God laid out the same priority in Ezekiel 33: “They . . . sit before you to listen to your words, but they do not put them into practice.”
Here are three questions that can help us ask “so what?” when we read God’s Word:
- How does this truth apply to my life and situation?
- Based on this truth, what changes do I need to make?
- What practical steps can I take to apply this truth to my life?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“All right, this is the year, baby, I’m gonna start running every day. Yeah, I think I’ll even train for a marathon. I’m going to start by jogging over to the refrigerator, I guess.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The apostle Paul wrote to his younger friend, Timothy, and said, “Bodily exercise profits a little.” My dad used to remind us that exercise wasn’t the most important thing in life, but at least it did profit a little.
I’ve found that a habit of walking for exercise does have some profit for health reasons. But I’ve found another reason. Physical disciplines—the way we eat, drink, and exercise—lay a practical foundation for other disciplines in our lives.
I find that being consistent in the little things, like exercise, helps me be more consistent in bigger disciplines—things like being morally pure.
At the start of a new year, what habits can you form that will lay a foundation for a disciplined and godly life?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I suppose that’s the test results back from the lab?”Nancy: Sometimes they may even use an X-ray machine to see things that you can’t see below the surface.“Uh huh.”
“A friend of mine, he’s like, a nurse. He said it looks normal. What do you think?”Nancy: Even if it’s uncomfortable, we let the doctor examine us because if something’s wrong, we need to know.“Looks can be deceiving. I’m a little bit concerned about some of the symptoms you’ve been having. Let’s take a look, and make sure there’s nothing wrong inside.”
We also need to let God examine us. It can be uncomfortable coming face-to-face with sin, but if we don’t find it and deal with it, the results can be deadly.
Even more important than getting a physical checkup, we need to pray with the psalmist, “See if there be any wicked way in me.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
I’ve read through 1 Corinthians looking for ways we can learn from these believers’ negative example.
First, Paul says that if we really love each other, we’ll respect each other’s gifts and strengths. We’ll be joined together with the same mind, working toward a common goal instead of working against each other.
If we’re walking in the way of love, Paul says that we’ll nurture other believers spiritually. We’ll feed the Word of God to those in spiritual need. We’ll think of others as better than ourselves, lifting them up rather than lifting ourselves up.
Are you showing love in the Body of Christ? Ask God to help you truly love and build up other believers in your church.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I read the Bible every day, but there are some times I get to the end of a passage and realize that I have no clue what I just read!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Before we can interpret and apply God’s Word, we need to understand what it says. Here are a few ways you can answer the question, “What does it say?”
One is to summarize. Write down a brief overview of the passage, including the major points.
Another idea is to paraphrase. Write the passage in your own words.
Or you can ask questions, as if you were writing a news story.
- Who wrote it?
- What happened?
- When was it written?
- Where did this happen?
- How did it happen?
- Why was this written?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
First He said, “Hallowed be Thy Name.” We can pray the same thing.
“Lord, may Your Name be worshiped and honored by people everywhere.”Nancy: Then He said, “Thy Kingdom come.”“Lord, help me to bring honor to Your name today.”
“I pray that Your kingdom would come throughout the whole world.”Nancy: Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.“I want You and You alone to rule in my heart today.”
“You can have Your way in my life, Lord. I want You on the throne.”Nancy: If you’re not in the habit of praying for the Kingdom of Christ to advance, take some time to meditate on the first three petitions in the Lord’s Prayer. Use these ideas to form your own prayer for the Kingdom of God.“Lord, help me see what You are doing today.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: If you ever have a hard time concentrating when you’re reading God’s Word, you may want to take some notes in the margin of your Bible.
I like to do this when the Lord uses a verse or passage to address a specific need in my life, or when He encourages or convicts my heart in an unusual way. Sometimes I’ll write down the date and city where I was when this personal encounter with God’s Word took place.
Or I may use the margins to write down personal responses to the truth, such as, “Yes, Lord” or “Make this be true in my life.”
If you find it hard to focus when you’re reading the Bible, you may find it helpful to make some notes in the margin. By doing that, a Bible can tell the story of your personal journey of faith.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Let me offer a modern paraphrase:
“Though I keep a spotless house and though I’m faithful in church attendance and though I work in the church nursery every other Sunday and though I lead a Bible study or teach a Sunday school class and though I homeschool my kids, and all that that requires, if I do it without love, I am nothing. And if I make enormous sacrifices for my family but do it out of a sense of obligation or a desire to impress rather than love, it’s worth nothing.”
Do you want your life to count for something? Ask God to fill you with His love.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Gipsy Smith: What makes the difference is not how many times you have been through the Bible, but how many times the Bible has been through you.
Nancy: We can read all we want, but if God’s Word isn’t changing us, it’s not doing much good.
James makes the same point when he says, “Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”
The next time you read the Bible, be sure to think through how you need to respond. Here are some questions to help get your thinking going:
- How does this truth apply to my situation?
- What is a practical step I can take to apply this truth?
- Do any changes need to be made in my life?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Paul writes that when there’s sin in the Body of Christ, those who truly love are grieved. When necessary, they even exercise church discipline. They love the sinner so much that they want him to be restored.
Paul writes that a loving church won’t have sexual immorality. Love leads to purity. Husbands and wives fully give themselves to their mates. They stay committed for life, even if their mate is an unbeliever.
And Paul says that when we’re walking in the way of love, we speak well of other believers. We affirm them instead of being critical.
Do these things describe your church? Ask God to help your fellowship be characterized by true, godly love.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
God’s been gracious to raise up an incredible team of people who pray for me virtually every day. I can’t imagine what blessing and protection I’d be missing if it weren’t for their prayers. Knowing that they’re praying for me makes me want to intercede for others that God puts on my heart—family members, friends, the staff I work with, pastors and Christian leaders, our president and other elected officials, and unbelieving neighbors and friends.
Because it encourages me to know that others are praying for me, I keep some note cards handy next to my quiet time chair. As I pray for people, sometimes I write them a note to tell them that I appreciate them and that I prayed for them that day.
Be sure to pray for those God puts on your heart. You may never know until eternity how God used your prayers in their lives.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Worship actually is an activity or a structured event.”Nancy: Here’s my definition of worship: It’s our response to God’s revelation of Himself. In other words, when God shows us His person, His provision, and His power; it’s only fitting for us to respond with awe, wonder, and gratitude.“Worship to me is a state of mind.”
“Probably certain types of music are more worshipful than other types of music.”
In Exodus 14 we read that God dramatically parted the Red Sea so the Israelites could be saved from the Egyptian army. God’s people responded in worship, singing:
The LORD is my strength and my song. . . . He is my God, and I will praise Him.
Worship goes beyond singing songs during a set time on Sunday morning. Each of us can respond to God with awe and wonder every day as He displays His power.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
It was an incredible opportunity. But their leader, Moses, was closer to God. The Bible says that he spoke to God “face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.”
Are you like someone who’s never been on the mountain—never experienced God’s presence? Are you like one of the elders—seeing God, but keeping a safe distance away? Or are you like Moses—getting to know God deeply, like a friend?
Through the blood of Christ, God invites us to draw near to Him. Through His Word and prayer, our relationship with God can grow deeper every day. What’s standing between you and true intimacy with God?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I’ll make him his favorite meal, and then I’ll talk about my vacation ideas.”Nancy: Years ago, I heard a great definition of love: Genuine love is totally giving myself to meet the needs of another person without expecting anything in return.
Now, I sometimes give to meet a need, but a lot of times I have a subtle, secret, hidden desire for that love to be reciprocated. I’m serving so that person will love me in return. But genuine love is giving of myself totally—maybe even sacrificially—for the benefit and the good of another person without expecting to get anything in return.
Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Then He went on to die for His enemies. Let’s ask God to help us love even when it doesn’t look like we’ll get anything back.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I don’t understand what God’s doing here.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: There’s a wonderful truth that’s sometimes hard for us to grasp. That is that God doesn’t make any mistakes.“I don’t know what to do with my daughter. We’re just not compatible.”
“I don’t know if I can take it another month living with our bills so tight."
Other people sometimes may make serious mistakes that affect our lives. But God is always fulfilling His eternal purposes, and they can’t be stopped by any human failure. If we’re in Christ, our lives are in His hands, and nothing can touch us that hasn’t first been filtered through His fingers of love.
“When I look back at it, being laid off was probably just what I needed. Boy, but I sure didn’t see it then.”Nancy: Someone has said, “God’s will is exactly what we would choose if we knew what God knows.” When we stand in eternity, we’ll see clearly what we now know only by faith: He truly has done all things well.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
For instance, in a community where there’s love, we’ll build each other up. We’ll limit our own personal freedoms if it edifies others. Even if something is scripturally permissible, we won’t do it if it causes someone to stumble in their walk with God. That’s the way of love.
If we’re walking in the way of love, we’ll yield rather than claim our rights. We’ll even be willing to suffer for the sake of the gospel.
Are you walking in the way of love? Are you demonstrating the beauty of God’s love in your church?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
David: When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. My thoughts trouble me, and I am distraught. The terrors of death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.
Nancy: No matter where the pain came from, David knew where to go for help.
David: Why are you cast down, O my soul? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.
Nancy: We all go through seasons of emotional pain. The next time you feel overwhelmed, you can go to the same source David talked about. No matter what you are facing, you can trust God, and you can experience His joy and peace.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Before I could take communion, I wanted to be sure my conscience was clear. First Corinthians says, “Let a person examine himself” before taking the Lord’s Supper. It provides a regular opportunity to be sure our conscience is clear before God and others.
So I slipped out of my seat and found the man I had offended and made things right. Then I could participate in the Lord’s Supper with no known barriers between me and the Lord or any other believer.
Are there any barriers between you and someone else? You don’t have to wait until you’re in church with communion about to be served. You could make things right today.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
In 1995 I spoke to a group of Christian leaders on the subject of humility. God graciously used that message in a powerful way.
Following that event, many people wrote to express their appreciation for what I had shared. The message was reprinted and distributed in many forms. In the process, I found myself facing a whole new battle with pride about my message on humility.
I kept many of those letters in file folders. God convicted me that those bulging files were just fueling my pride.
Finally, at the suggestion of a wise friend, I took the entire contents of those files and burned them in the fireplace. You know, with that single step of obedience and humility, God brought wonderful new freedom to my heart.
Do you have that freedom? Is there anything fueling your pride?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
What would you say about a church where there is a lot of emphasis on rights? Or a church where married couples are selfish and withhold physical love from each other? What would you say about a church that has a lot of spiritual gifts, but they abuse those gifts and use them to tear each other down?
All those problems are described in the book of 1 Corinthians. In Paul’s letter, he keeps coming back to one basic issue—love. There wasn’t love in this church, and it created all kinds of other problems.
What problems are you facing at home or at church? One of the best things you can do is to ask God to fill you and those around you with His agape love.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Come to the Holiness Conference—this weekend at the Expo Center!”Nancy: You know, God uses something surprising to teach us holiness—suffering! In fact, the pathway to holiness always involves suffering.“Buy Seven Steps to Holiness today, at your local Christian retailer.”
When our lives are all roses and no thorns, we tend to be spiritually complacent. We neglect serious self-examination and confession. But affliction has a way of stripping away the stubborn deposits of selfishness that build up in the course of everyday life.
The psalmist put it this way, “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.”
Are you going through a time of suffering? Let me encourage you, hard as it may be, to embrace it as a gift from God. Ask Him to use this time to make you more like Him.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
On the other hand, Jeremiah delivered his message in tears. His heart was broken for the people who had strayed from the Lord.
This illustrates what Paul says in 1 Corinthians: “If I have the gift of prophecy, but don’t exercise that gift in love, I am nothing.”
When you find yourself having to confront someone with the truth, what’s the attitude of your heart? Is it one of anger and revenge? Or does your heart break as you deliver your message out of obedience and love?
Ask God to give you a tender, compassionate heart like Jeremiah.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Your doctor doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’ve seen this before. The pressure will last a couple days and then . . .”Nancy: But humble people realize how much they have to learn.
“I know he’s a little hard to understand, but he may have something good to say.”Nancy: Proud people worry what others think of them.
”It seems like everyone has a brand-new SUV, and I’m still in this clunky car!”Nancy: Humble people aren’t preoccupied with themselves at all.
“Lord, you’re watching. All that matters is pleasing you.”Nancy: When it comes to our attitudes about ourselves, we’re all tempted by pride. But the Spirit of God helps us choose the pathway of true humility. So we don’t need to be driven to extremes . . .
“Yeah, you could call me a workaholic. But I’m going to lighten up once I get the promotion. “Nancy: . . . because humble people recognize God-given limitations.
“Lord, I didn’t finish my to-do list for today, but thank you so much for letting me talk with my neighbor."With Seeking Him, I'm Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I think it’s great that my wife’s been taking all those Bible classes, but it’s kind of intimidating.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The apostle Paul says, “If I understand all mysteries and all knowledge . . . but have not love, I am nothing.” As women today, we have opportunities like never before to study the Word of God. But our knowledge has to be balanced with love.
“She tells me that she wants me to lead spiritually, but when we read the Bible, she argues with everything I say.”Nancy: Knowledge without love puffs up. It makes us arrogant and hard to live with. If our knowledge doesn’t make us more humble and submissive to the authorities God’s put in our lives, then it’s worth nothing.
We need to keep growing in our knowledge of God’s Word, but let’s also ask Him to develop in us truly humble, loving hearts.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
“God began to peel back the layers of my heart. There was bitterness, hate, rebellion, and an underlying pride that corrupted everything.”Nancy: In that moment, she chose brokenness. She asked God to forgive her. She discovered brokenness brings blessedness. Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit.”
As you think about a difficult relationship you may be in, are you sitting back waiting for the other person to change? Could there be some spiritual surgery needed in your own heart? Are you willing to let God show you your needs and change you?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
During a routine procedure, a doctor’s mistake cost him the life of his wife. In the days that followed, he promised to “bring down that hospital!” He demanded a meeting with administrators and vowed to sue them for everything they had.
On the way to the meeting, this husband realized that he was heading into a dungeon of anger and bitterness and to be free, he’d have to do what God had done for him.
When he got to the hospital, he walked directly to the doctor who had operated on his wife. He reached out his hand and said, “The only way I’m going to be able to live with any peace the remainder of my life is to forgive you.”
Are you harboring any anger or bitterness? Would you choose to forgive as God has forgiven you?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Rudy Tomjanovich was an NBA All-Star whose career was effectively ended by one punch. As he sprinted toward a scuffle during a basketball game, another player, Kermit Washington, whirled around and hit him—hard.
The blow almost killed Rudy, and he retired soon afterward.You may be able to think of an event like that in your life where things said or done to you in the heat of the moment affected you for a long time. They’ll continue to overwhelm your life if you allow bitterness to fester in your heart. The only way to find healing is through forgiveness.
Here’s what Rudy said about the player who threw that punch. “Someone once told me that hating Kermit would be like taking poison and hoping someone else would die.”
Perhaps you’ve been taking poison—dwelling on hurts you’ve received. You can find healing through choosing forgiveness.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“It was a long time ago.”Nancy: Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending the offense never happened—that’s not honest. It’s denial.“Forgive and forget, right?”
“I just don’t have anything to do with them anymore.”
“It really wasn’t that big of a deal. I just try to forget about it.”
True forgiveness is about facing reality and then dealing with it God’s way. He doesn’t want you to run away from your pain. He wants you to be honest about the hurt and bring it to Him.
Have you gotten honest about the way others have treated you? I’d encourage you to make a list of anyone who you’ve never forgiven for the way they’ve wronged you. Not so you can hold a grudge. Not so you can hold it over them. But so you can choose forgiveness.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Who’d your dad have with him this weekend?”Nancy: Have you loved them?
“She’s not my favorite person.”Nancy: Have you prayed for them?
“I wish he’d just die.”You’re not responsible for how others have hurt you. But you are responsible for how you’ve responded. Jesus said it this way: “First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”
Do you want to find freedom from hurt and bitterness? Ask God to give you His love toward those who’ve sinned against you. Clear your conscience with them, and then choose to forgive.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
He was despised and hated, ridiculed, humiliated, betrayed, and beaten. What was His response to this kind of treatment? He said, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”
If Jesus could offer forgiveness to those who were crucifying Him, you and I should be able to offer forgiveness to those who wrong us—no matter how painful.
The good news is that we don’t have to do it alone. The same One who offered forgiveness on the cross can live through us and give us His ability to forgive.
“To be a Christian,” C. S. Lewis said, “means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in us.”
When it comes to forgiveness, our Lord would not command us to do something that He would not enable us to do, or that He hasn’t done Himself.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Three men with M-16s ran into the room and said in English, ‘Go, go, go!’”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I discovered a moving story while I was writing the book Choosing Forgiveness.
“We had gone nine days without food.”Nancy: While being held hostage by a terrorist group in a Philippine jungle, Gracia Burnham did something amazing—she chose to forgive her captors.
As long as she blamed the terrorists and the government, her heart was in turmoil. But when she chose forgiveness, there was peace. The problem was: The next day would dawn with a new round of offenses.
“Then they said, ‘There’s a ransom been paid for you, but we’ve decided that it’s not enough.’ They said, ‘We’re going to ask for more.’”Nancy: It was a new opportunity to ask God for the grace to forgive.
Maybe there’s someone who seems to offend you every day. Remember Gracia’s ordeal in the jungle, and remember that you, too, can daily choose to forgive.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I at that point wrote a letter to my father and sent it to him asking his forgiveness for all that I had done against him. So when I finally got a hold of him, I said, ‘Dad, I need to know if you got that letter I sent you.’Nancy: In a short time Marcia saw the fruit of her forgiveness.“And he said, ‘Yes, Marcia. I got the letter, and I need to ask your forgiveness. You’re not the one that needs to be asking me for forgiveness.’
“But I said, ‘Dad, I need to know that you forgive me for what I’ve done against you.’
“He said, ‘Yes, I’ve forgiven you.’ And I said, ‘Daddy, I’ve already forgiven you. And God will forgive you to if you allow Him.’"
“He told me that he had decided to make a change in his life and turn his life over to Christ.”Nancy: Do you need to ask for someone’s forgiveness? God may do amazing things through the process.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
The word bitterness in this verse comes from the Greek root word pik. It means what it sounds like—to prick or cut. Pik can refer to a sharp, pointed object or a sharp, bitter taste.
What a picture of our lives when we refuse to forgive. Think of someone who has wronged you. Perhaps their memory is like a sharp object poking you. Maybe they’ve left a bad taste in your mouth.
The apostle Paul offers relief when he says, “Let all bitterness be put away from you.” He goes on to say, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Are you experiencing the sharp, distasteful effects of bitterness? You can find relief by choosing forgiveness.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Here’s Nancy Leigh DeMoss with counsel on choosing forgiveness.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Jesus offers some strong words in Matthew 6. He says, “If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
John Piper reflected on this thought and said, “If we hold fast to an unforgiving spirit, we will not be forgiven by God. If we continue on in that way, then we will not go to heaven because heaven is the dwelling place of forgiven people.”
I think one of the biggest reasons people find it difficult to accept and experience God’s love and forgiveness is a refusal to forgive others.
If we’re holding on to bitterness, we can never hope to enjoy the full, sweet taste of God’s compassion and mercy. Would you choose to forgive those who have wronged you and experience the forgiveness of your Father?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Ernie Cassutto received a surprising invitation from a man who had run a Nazi concentration camp during World War II.
Ernie was a Dutch Jew who had suffered in that very camp. While Ernie was still in prison, he was struck by the forgiveness that Jesus showed, and he asked God to help him learn to forgive.
Now, years later, he got that opportunity as he visited the man who had persecuted him. His former jailer was now very sick and struggling to breathe. Ernie writes, “A voice from inside me urged, ‘Go kiss him.’”
When Ernie kissed his oppressor’s forehead, the elderly man started to weep and apologize. Right there, Ernie led his former jailer to Jesus. This amazing display of God’s redeeming grace would never have taken place if Ernie hadn’t taken seriously Jesus’ words, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Right about that time she also received news that her husband had suffered a heart attack and was in the hospital. She was convicted to go there and forgive him for the pain and chaos he had brought to their home.
“The Lord spoke in my heart and said, ‘Go and whisper in your husband's ear that he doesn't have to worry about a place to live, to come home.’"You can hear this moving story at ReviveOurHearts.com.
Lorna’s life and marriage were miraculously transformed. Four months later her husband had another heart attack and was suddenly taken home to be with the Lord. Now Lorna says,
“I can’t imagine where I’d be today if I hadn’t made the choice to forgive.”With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
”Here’s Nancy Leigh DeMoss with counsel on choosing forgiveness.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: A former pastor I know drifted from the Lord and left his wife for another woman. Shortly afterward, his wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
She faced the slow, fearsome loss of her faculties without the loving support of her husband. It would seem like she had every reason for anger and bitterness, but God put forgiveness in her heart.
This became clear when she was rushed to the hospital with a cerebral hemorrhage. As she slipped in and out of consciousness, her children pressed in close to hear her repeat three times, “Forgive . . . forgive . . . forgive.”
The same God who kept this woman from bitterness is ready to help you forgive—whatever your situation.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Hey, I’d love to get together sometime.”Nancy: In Proverbs 7 we read about a woman who uses the wordlove very loosely.“Oh, I love this new song!”
“Doughnut? I love doughnuts!”
“Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love.”Nancy: She’s saying this in the context of luring a young man to her bedroom, and her words show that she doesn’t understand what she’s talking about. True love is about giving rather than taking.
”Let us take our fill of love.”Nancy: She wants immediate gratification and doesn’t care that the delights of this forbidden fruit won’t last.
“our fill of love till morning.”Nancy: Love is about commitment. It’s about seeking the best interest of others. It’s about giving rather than taking.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(Children quoting Scripture)
“Be ye kind one to another.”Nancy: If you’ve never memorized Scripture before, I suggest starting small and learn just a couple of verses a week.“Give thanks to the Lord that made great lights—sun by day, moon and stars by night.”
“But God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for our sins.”
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart.”Nancy: I’m confident that you’ll find that God’s Word will start to influence all of your thinking.
“The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall not want.”With Seeking Him, I'm Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Lately, my husband and I aren’t seeing eye to eye on how to discipline our daughter. I think he’s afraid of hurting her feelings. I tell him that if he really loves her, he’ll make her do what’s right. Sometimes I just wish God would make my husband and me agree! Why can’t God just take away the conflict?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Sometimes God allows conflict and difficulties in our lives for the same reason you want to discipline your daughter—He loves you. No wise parent gives his child everything they want, and God is the wisest Father ever. He allows us to go through pain sometimes because He loves us and wants us to grow.
Hebrews 12 tells us that “God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.”
If you’re facing something difficult, let me encourage you—that means God loves you. So seek Him, trust Him, and learn from Him as a loving, heavenly Father.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I’ll never forget when we were evacuated during the floods, we didn’t have anything. That’s when I realized how God gives us what we need. We couldn’t go to the grocery store, but He always took care of us.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When our normal source dries up, it’s a chance for us to see God’s power. The children of Israel had learned to lean on a source for their food—they relied on their captors in Egypt to give them meat. Then when God rescued them from slavery, the first thing He did was lead them into a desert.
Deuteronomy 8 tells us why. Moses reminded the Israelites: “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna … to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.”
Is there an area where you feel dry and needy? It’s an opportunity to learn more about God as your source for everything.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I found myself constantly wondering what people thought of me—doing things I thought would make them happy. I think it all comes from a feeling that ‘I’m not worth anything.’”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: There’s a verse in 1 Peter that shows us that Jesus’ sense of worth didn’t come from what others thought about Him. It came from what God thought.
It says He was “rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him.”
Jesus was rejected by men—those He had created for Himself. He loved them so much He laid down His life. But His value came from being chosen by God. That’s what made Him precious. That’s what determined His worth.
Your worth is also determined by God. He loves you so much that He gave His Son for your sins. Remember that the next time you’re tempted to believe, “I’m not worth anything.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Kindness can take different forms in different seasons of life, but there’s so much value in sending cards and notes, being sensitive to listen, and in meeting practical needs.
Kindness doesn’t just involve loving actions. It also involves doing them with a loving heart—acting through God’s power and for His glory.
How can you show kindness out of a kind heart in your season of life?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
This verse shows us that the way we dress reflects what’s inside. This woman’s true heart was displayed by her appearance. I think we can see the same thing today. So many women dress in a provocative way to get the attention of men, including entertainers hoping to further their career. The problem is, a lot of women follow these immodest leaders, and today’s fashions reflect a lot of that immodesty.
What’s in your heart? Are you trying to catch attention, no matter what it takes? Or do you have a heart for serving the men around you? Would you ask God to give you a modest attitude?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Does surrendering mean I’m going to have to be a missionary or something?”Nancy: Maybe. Maybe not. But what matters is saying, “Yes, Lord.”
“If I surrender to God, what if He never gives me a husband?”Nancy: Surrender may mean being happily married for half a century, or it could mean being faithful in a difficult marriage to an unbeliever. What matters is saying, “Yes, Lord.”
“It probably means being poor the rest of our lives.”Nancy: Surrendering to God may mean you make lots of money to use for the glory of God, or it could mean that you’re content with very little. What matters is saying, “Yes, Lord.”
Total surrender to Christ as Lord means submitting every detail of our lives to His loving rule. Are you doing that?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“You have to be determined and creative.”Nancy: No matter how busy you are today, it’s crucial that you find time to meditate on God’s Word. That’s your lifeline! Pray with the psalmist who said, “I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.”“I would ask God to protect those times. Children really need to know that it is a priority for you.”
“I remember a lot of times during those years rocking a sick child in my arms and bouncing another on my feet and turning on the Bible on cassette.”
“It may not be easy; but if you really, really want to meet with God, you will find a way to do it.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
The apostle Paul helps us see true, godly love from various angles in 1 Corinthians 13. He talks about fifteen different characteristics of love, as if he’s holding a diamond up to the light.
Now, I know that the diamond of my love life has some flaws. God’s Word is like a magnifying glass, showing me areas where I need to be refined. When we’re willing to let the Master Cutter examine us under that microscope, He’ll help us become more and more beautiful.
With that in mind, you may want to take a fresh look at 1 Corinthians 13. Ask the Master Cutter to bring out every bit of brilliance in your love life.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
I can remember one of the first books I ever read. It was called The Shoemaker Who Gave India the Bible. It was a children’s version of the story of William Carey, an English cobbler who helped begin the modern missionary movement in the face of tremendous obstacles. He then became a missionary to India and oversaw the translation of the Bible into forty languages.
Reading his story as a child gave me a sense of passion to love the Lord with all my heart. It was through stories like this that I was drawn to give my life to God’s service.
As you’re choosing books for your children, you have a chance to instill in them what it means to serve God wholeheartedly. Don’t forget to look for books about missionaries and other people who lived for God’s glory. It might change their lives forever.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I thought that by taking our relationship to another level, you know, physically, my boyfriend and I would be closer. But sleeping together has just caused more problems—a lot more!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We think wrong choices will make us happy, but sin never pays what it promises us. It might yield some pleasure, but Hebrews 11 refers to it as “fleeting pleasure.”
“I thought I’d be the life of the party. Now I’m spending all my time in a recovery program.”Nancy: We all know what it’s like to sinfully indulge our flesh, hoping for some kind of relief or emotional thrill. But when it’s over, we don’t usually look back and say, “Wow, that was sure worth it!” If we’re honest we’d have to say, “That brief pleasure wasn’t worth the price I paid to get it.”
Sinful pleasures just don’t last. We need to remember that when we face temptation. Instead, trust God’s Word when He promises to reward faithfulness.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
The foolish woman we read about in Proverbs 7 finds a young man and invites him into an immoral relationship. She says, “I came out to meet you, diligently to seek your face, and I have found you.” This married woman is feeding the young man’s need for admiration. She sets him up for moral failure.
Further, when a woman looks for things to admire in a man other than her own husband, it can make her feel discontented with her own marriage. It may even make her more likely to leave what she considers to be a lonely relationship.
Ladies, as you use your words to encourage others, ask God to give you wisdom and restraint in how you encourage men. Ask yourself:Is this the type of admiration that should come from his own wife?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
“I used to spend almost an hour a day praying and reading the Bible. But since having kids, I really don’t have enough time, so it just makes me want to give up!”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I think every mom faces this challenge. I once asked an older woman what she learned in this area. She said:
“This season of life does not always lend itself to longer, in-depth study of the Word, but even a few verses and a short prayer and worship time have helped me through many days. We can’t put ourselves on a guilt trip at this stage of life when we can’t spend as much time as we’d like in the Word. But it must still be our top priority, however brief it may be.”Nancy: If you can’t spend hours and hours, what time can you carve out? God knows your heart. I believe if you will make it a priority to spend what moments you can with Him, He will bless and multiply that time.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
First Corinthians 13 tells us love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Showing interest in others goes beyond manners or successful business practices. When we’re filled with God’s love, we will have a genuine interest in what other people have to say.
Would you ask God to fill you with His true love? And in conversations today, try asking people about themselves. Ask God to help you do more listening than talking.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
He entered the 400-yard dash. Even though he hadn’t trained for it, he won the gold medal. A lot of people know that story but don’t realize that Eric Liddell kept saying “no” to self and “yes” to God.
After the Olympics, Eric served in China as a missionary. In 1943 he was interned in a Japanese concentration camp but continued to serve God and joyfully minister to other prisoners. While still in the camp, Eric suffered a brain tumor that left him partially paralyzed.
As he lay dying, his final words to his nurse were, “Annie, it’s complete surrender.” Liddell’s life is a powerful call to say “no” to self and “yes” to God.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Jesus had a powerful earthly ministry. Luke 4 tells us that He “returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit…. He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.”
There’s something important there. When it says He “returned to Galilee,” where was He returning from? From the desert.
This successful ministry came after Jesus faced danger, loneliness, and temptation for forty days in the desert. God had been preparing Jesus for His earthly ministry during this difficult time.
Maybe it feels like you’re in a desert—what seems like a hopeless, never-ending situation. Can I encourage you? God may be fitting you for future service. He may want to use your “life message” in a powerful way, so trust Him and let Him prepare you for what lies ahead.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“The other day my daughter was talking with her friend about how cool this singer was because he smoked pot through a whole concert. This is the girl who never missed Sunday school! How does that kind of change happen?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Every time we give in to sin, it dulls our awareness of the truth. Doing something that goes against your conscience will weaken your ability to discern right from wrong. Black starts to look white, and down starts to look like up. You can become blind to the seriousness of sin.
Romans 1 describes a group of people who knew about God but sinned anyway. It says they “became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened.”
The best way to avoid futile thoughts and a foolish heart is to say “no” to sin in the first place. When you face temptation today, would you remember that every sin is a step on a downward spiral?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
One left home and wasted all his money on wild living. The other stayed home with his father doing his job and working hard. Guess which example Jesus wants us to follow? Believe it or not, it’s the prodigal. After rebelling against his father, he returned home with a broken, humble heart.
On the other hand, buried beneath the older son’s perfect exterior lay a dark, cancerous mass of anger and envy—fueled by hidden, unfulfilled expectations.
Too often we’re like that older brother. Externally, we’re following all the rules. But inwardly, we crave recognition and think that our hard work can make us right with God.
We need to be quick to recognize our sin. To say with that prodigal son, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before You.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I used to work ten and twelve hour days. I would make a really good attempt at trying to read the Bible, but by the time I got home and I was relaxed and really had my mind focused enough to read it, I was so tired I would just have to pass out and fall asleep.”Nancy: I’ve found that the more tired I am, the more susceptible I become to temptation. I need God’s presence all the more. So here are some practical ways to stay awake.
- First, get out of bed.
- Then consider praying while standing or walking.
- Sing to God.
- Have your quiet time outside.
- But the most important strategy, of course, is to ask God for help.
The next time you begin your quiet time, ask God to help you watch and pray.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
If you turn on prime time television, what will you find? Rudeness. TV writers seem to think that you can’t be funny without cutting someone else down or being crude. You especially see women on television who are crass and uncouth.
Now men and women can both be rude, but I think it’s particularly unattractive in us as women. It shows a lack of love, too. In 1 Corinthians, Paul says, “Love is not rude.”
That means that when we learn manners, we’re showing love. When we strike up a friendly conversation, we’re showing love. When we’re being considerate or sensitive, we’re showing love.
Our world sees plenty of rudeness. I think it’s time for us women to show what true, godly love is like.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I never made things right. I need to go back and apologize.”Nancy: But our pride keeps us from taking that step.
“I probably should tell somebody about this temptation and have them pray for me.”When I speak in conferences, I usually ask the women, “How many of you know there’s some step of humility God wants you to take, but there’s a battle raging inside you—you’re finding it tough to take that step?”
Hands go up across the room. I then remind them that the battle will stop as soon as they raise the white flag of surrender and say, “Yes, Lord.”
The longer you delay, the harder it is to obey God. If you have a struggle going on in your heart right now, would you wave the white flag of surrender? Put one foot in front of the other and say, “Yes, Lord.”
You can’t imagine the joy that waits on the other side of humility and obedience.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
The first was Saul. God had told him to kill some animals, but he didn’t. The other king, David, committed adultery with his neighbor’s wife and had that neighbor killed. David’s sin seems so much worse to us, yet the Bible calls him “a man after God’s own heart.” What made the difference? It was their response when confronted with their sin.
Saul defended, justified, and excused himself. When he finally admitted his disobedience, he didn’t want the news to leak out.
On the other hand, David humbly confessed and repented of his sin. We can read about it in Psalm 32 and Psalm 51.
The next time you recognize an area of sin, you can try to protect yourself, as Saul did. Or take the path of brokenness and humility like David—the man after God’s own heart.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I have many friends who are interested in missions. Some of these parents literally kick, scream, beg, plead, bribe—whatever they can do to keep their child safe within their grasp here within this country or close to them. It makes it very difficult for a young person to be able to say 'yes' to the call of God on their life.”Nancy: A lot of Christian parents think being a missionary is a great idea—until their son or daughter says, “I think God’s leading me in that direction.”
Jesus said, “Whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” I’m so thankful for parents who more than anything else wanted their seven children to follow Christ—wherever that meant and whatever the price.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“We think giving our all to the Lord is like taking a $1,000 bill and laying it on the table. ‘Here’s my life, Lord. I’m giving it all.’Nancy: What does it mean to offer twenty-five cents at a time? Well, God may be asking you to sacrifice the next thirty minutes to call a mother-in-law who can be so negative, or to talk with your teenage kid, or to give up a normal night’s sleep to care for a sick child.“But the reality for most of us is that He sends us to the bank and has us cash the $1,000 for quarters. We go through life putting out twenty-five cents here and fifty cents there.”
Maybe it seems like your day is so routine and nothing you do really matters. Don’t forget that each twenty-five-cent sacrifice is significant in God’s economy.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I was proud of my reputation and my position. I was known at the country club where I was an officer, known among the elite of the community, and known as a leader at my church. But I was unteachable. Although I was a leader, I wasn’t in the Word. The one thing I did know was how to play church. I knew how to pretend.”Nancy: Things changed when she attended a Bible study and was pierced by three words: “God is alive.” She realized that she’d been living as if God was actually dead.
Romans 8:11 says, “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.”
Are you living like God is alive?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
(answering machine) This is Seeking Him with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Please leave your question at the tone. (beep)
“I understand that it’s important to read the Bible and pray, but every day that I try, I’m exhausted. I try to wake up to spend time with God, but I always end up falling asleep. I just want to give up.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The first thing I would do is ask, “Why am I tired?” Maybe there’s a physical reason that could be addressed with diet and exercise. It’s not something I naturally enjoy, but I do exercise because it gives me greater stamina and strength to seek the Lord and do the things He wants me to do.
We also need to be looking at our schedules and making sure we’re using time wisely. We can make sure that the things we’re doing truly represent God’s will for this season of our lives.
And we can ask God to help us. Remember the words of Isaiah 40: “He gives power to the faint, and to them that have no might He increases strength.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
But there’s really no such thing as private sin. The Old Testament calls God El Roi—The God Who Sees. Proverbs 15:3 tells us “the eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.”
Are you indulging in any “secret sins”? Are you pure in your private moments? We are protected from sin by the fear of the Lord—that constant, conscious sense that God is there and is watching.
Ask God to help you say “no” to secret sin. And then obey Him, knowing that El Roi—The God Who Sees—also sees your faithfulness.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I couldn’t wait to get out of my parents' house so I could go to every party on campus. It was time for total freedom!”Nancy: But ultimately, sin enslaves us.
“Now all I think about is alcohol, whether there’s a party or not. I can’t stop!”Nancy: Our culture has promoted a “double the pleasure, none of the guilt” sort of lifestyle. What’s the result? We’re slaves to lust, food, entertainment, work, toys, noise, activity, alcohol, drugs, busyness, and on and on. We’ve become dominated by the very “pleasures” we thought would liberate us.
The apostle Peter talks about those who entice others to sin, and says, “They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.”
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Do you have any aspirin?”Nancy: None of us like pain, but it can be a motivation for us to be thankful. Jonathan Edwards wrote:
"I'm resolved when I feel pain to think of the pains of martyrdom and of hell."Nancy: Think about that for a minute. Edwards knew he’d always experience pain on this earth, but he wanted it to move him to thankfulness. Thankfulness that he wasn’t facing the pain of martyrdom like so many who had gone before him. Thankfulness that through God’s mercy we can escape the unimaginable pain of separation from God in hell.
It puts things into perspective. No pain we can endure here on earth compares to the pain from which we’ve been spared. Ask God to help you live in a spirit of thankfulness today, no matter what you’re going through.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
But it seems that God’s even more offended by unbroken, religious people—those whose spiritual-looking outside covers a proud, unteachable spirit.
Jesus had strong words for these people: “Woe to you . . . hypocrites, for you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.”
I think that proud, hypocritical Christians have done more damage to the church than any unbeliever. By looking down on others as “less spiritual,” we’re missing the heart of the Gospel and the grace of Christ.
So whether you are a thief and adulterer or a whitewashed tomb, remember the grace of God is available to those who lay down their pride and come to Him with a repentant heart.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
It reminds me of sin. It seems so harmless at first. It may play with us, sleep with us, or amuse us. But its nature never changes. The book of James tells us that “sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”
Do you have some pet sin in your life? The best way to protect yourself is to confess it to God and turn from it. Remember: Sin will always rise up and devour those who befriend it.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Oh, look at this dress! I wonder how much is it?”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When we find something we like at the store, one of the first things we do is look at the price tag.
“Whoa! It looks really cute hanging right there on that rack.”Nancy: Wouldn’t it be nice if temptation were the same way, if we understood the cost of sin right up front?
If the forbidden fruit had been rotten and crawling with worms, do you think Eve would have taken any? But Genesis tells us, “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.”
She acted on her immediate desires without looking at the price tag.
You’ll be faced with a lot of decisions today. Would you ask God to give you discernment? He can help you recognize the cost of sin, no matter how attractive it looks at the moment.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
My parents would invariably respond, “You don’t belong to everyone else; you belong to God.”
Early on, I learned what it meant to be set apart. That’s what the word holy means—“to be set apart, distinct, or different.”
We have examples of this in the Old Testament. For example, one day was set apart as a holy Sabbath. The first part of income was set apart as the holy tithe.
In the New Testament, God set apart a group of believers to be thechurch. The word means “a called-out assembly.”
To be set apart isn’t a punishment. It’s a chance to be in an intimate relationship with God Himself.
Today, would you remember that you belong to God? To be set apart from sin and set apart to God is a great privilege.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
When they were thirsty, Moses struck a rock and water flowed out. When they were hungry, God sent bread from heaven. God went before them in a cloud to cover them, and He clothed them for all those years.
I think all of those provisions point us to Christ. Jesus said, “I am the bread of God come down from heaven . . . I am the living water.”
Jesus clothes us in righteousness. He is the rock of our salvation. On the cross He was struck for us, and out of Him comes a life-giving flow.
You feel like your life has been aimless? Accept the provision of Christ. He really is everything you need.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
But before a horse can be useful to its master, it needs to be broken. That doesn’t mean that someone literally breaks its legs. But it means that its will is broken. It becomes compliant and submissive to its rider.
Before you and I can be used by our Master, we need to be broken, too. Brokenness is the shattering of my self-will so the spirit of the Lord Jesus can be released through me.
Psalm 51:17 says: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” You and I can choose to be broken today. Just submit yourself to His direction and will.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss
“It seems like something’s always breaking down, or getting spilled, or blowing up around the house.”Nancy: I once sent a survey to 300 women asking what seemed to hinder their prayer and Bible study. The number one response was:
“I just can’t find the time!”Nancy: So what do we do? In Colossians 4:2, we read, “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Devoting ourselves includes devoting our time. Some women I know have found it helpful to make an appointment with God and then keep it like any other commitment.
I’ve discovered that if I don’t make a conscious, deliberate effort to set aside time to be with the Lord, other things will always demand my attention. Why don’t you look at tomorrow’s schedule and make an appointment with Him?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Now look down at verse 25. It says that we should put away lying and speak the truth.”Nancy: . . . and another side at home?
“I just called in sick to work. Let’s go shopping!”Nancy: Parents don’t usually realize how much their example affects their children. Kids know what their parents’ standards are.
They notice when their parents use language at home they’d never say in public. They notice when their parents belittle each other. They know what kinds of videos parents rent and what they laugh at on TV.
If your kids grow up loving the world more than God, if they don’t have a hunger for spiritual things, will it be any surprise? Will you be prepared to give an account for the way your life influenced them?
As you make choices today, would you remember that your heart for holiness is shaping the character of the next generation?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Most of us wouldn’t think about quickly skimming through a love letter. Instead, we would study it for every nuance of meaning.
The Bible is a love letter. The more carefully we read it, the more we’ll discover God’s heart for us.
If you’re in the habit of rushing through the Bible, would you consider reading more thoughtfully? Pause to meditate on the things you’re reading. Dwell on it, and ponder it until it becomes part of you.
That’s what Joshua told the children of Israel to do. He said, “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it.”
Why don’t you spend some time today meditating on God’s love letter to you?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“Please leave your question at the tone.” (beep)Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Sometimes when I’m praying over a specific decision, I symbolically place that issue in my hands, then lift my cupped hands to God. I say, “Lord, I’m committing this matter to You. Please use Your Word to guide me to a wise decision.”“I am facing a major decision. I’ve got two good opportunities. How do I know what to do?”
God may bring to mind Scriptures that give insight on the situation. He may impress me to get godly counsel. He may remind me of another priority He’s already given. Or He may grant the desire, the faith, and the freedom to step out in the new venture.
Psalm 119 says, “The entrance of Your words gives light.” Do you need light on your situation? Do you need direction for the tough choices of life? Open the Word of God, hand Him the issue, and ask Him for direction.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
It tells me that everyone will experience brokenness. Some will experience brokenness in this life by humbly giving up their own desires and letting Christ live through them. Those are the people who “fall on the stone.”
Others will refuse. God may allow them to walk in pride for a while. But eventually, either in this life or the next, He’ll bring down everything that exalts itself against Him. That’s what Jesus meant by being ground into powder.
Have you fallen on the Stone, choosing to humbly submit your will to God’s? Or are you still approaching God in pride, in danger of being crushed?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
"Still I just well up with emotion as I remember all the times growing up that my father used the words, ‘You dummy.’ Because of that, I have not honored my father.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When we think about those who have cursed us with cruel words, it’s natural to justify responding in anger.
But King David modeled a supernatural way to respond. In 2 Samuel we read about a time when someone continually yelled insults and curses at David. As King, he could’ve had the man killed, but his response showed his trust in God’s sovereignty.
David said, “Leave him alone, and let him curse…. It may be that the LORD will look on the wrong done to me, and that the LORD will repay me with good for his cursing today.”
If you’re haunted by words of cursing from your past, would you ask God to give you a view of His sovereignty? He can help you heal through His power.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
“I’m generally a good person. I make it to church when I can.”Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Christ calls us to something deeper and more fulfilling than just being a pretty good person. He invites us to be transformed into His image.
“I might cheat on my taxes once in a while, but I never cheat on my wife. So I look at it that it cancels each other.”Nancy: Trying to do good things apart from Christ is like gluing oranges onto a dead tree. We can try to attach all the fruit we want, but it doesn’t change the tree.
In the same way, God isn’t impressed by some good works tacked on to a dead person. He wants to make us alive, like a growing tree that produces real fruit.
The apostle Paul says that as we contemplate the Lord’s glory, we will be transformed “into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord.”
Are you spending time with God in prayer and the Word, letting Him transform you into His image?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Most people assume I’m an outgoing person. But the truth is, when I get into a crowd of people I don’t know, it’s hard for me to start conversations. But when my fear or self-consciousness keeps me from reaching out to other people, I’m being self-centered, proud.
Starting a conversation and showing interest in others can be an expression of genuine love. So whether we are an introvert or an extrovert, we can both have trouble with being proud in our own way. But when we’re filled with God’s power and motivated by love, we’ll be able to reach out to others in a way that makes them feel appreciated.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Eight days after giving birth to Jesus, Mary was told, “A sword will pierce your own soul.” She wouldn’t fully understand those words until thirty-three years later. When Mary watched as Jesus was crucified, her soul was pierced.
For one thing, she was losing her son. But I also think her soul was pierced because she recognized her own sin. Jesus was dying not just for the world—he was dying for her. We all need to make that same discovery.
Until a “sword pierces our soul,” we don’t realize the depth of our sin and need. To be forgiven, Mary had to place her faith in the crucified Son of God who died in her place.
Have you trusted Christ as your Savior, realizing that the wounds He suffered on the cross were because of your sin and for your salvation?
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.