Family: Father

Family: Father

What Kind of Father Are You?
Some people say any man can be a father; it is a job that takes little talent. However, the rate for failure in fatherhood is actually higher than in any other occupation. Fathers have a colossal full-time job that most people underestimate. It is the most important task a man can tackle.
Despite vast changes in America's social fabric in recent years, one thread of tradition shows no sign of unraveling: sons and daughters who follow in their father's footsteps.
A nationwide survey was taken recently to determine how much time fathers were spending with their children. The results were astounding. Fathers with children between the ages of 2 and 12 were spending 12 minutes a day with their children. Twelve-minute dads contribute greatly to 12-year-old delinquents.
But not all dads are 12-minute dads. A busload of dads and sons left a church parking lot for an overnight camping trip. The dads represented various vocations, but they all had one thing in common: they did not want to be 12-minute dads.
You cannot substitute a popsicle for Pop himself, though both may have their places. Whether it be a car or a candy bar, a fishing rod or a hot rod, you cannot substitute these "presents" for the "presence."
America is standing at a crossroads of history; our very survival as a nation may depend on the presence or absence of masculine leadership in millions of homes; leadership in the form of loving authority; leadership in the form of financial management; leadership in the form of spiritual training and leadership in maintaining good marital relationships.

Two Views of Fishing
Sometimes there are effects of our influence that we may never know. G. Brook Adams kept a diary from his boyhood. One special day when he was eight years old, he wrote in his diary, "Went fishing with my father; the most glorious day of my life." Throughout the next 40 years of his life he never forgot that day he went fishing with his father, he made repeated references to it in his diary, commenting on the influence of that day on his life.
Brook's father was an important man; he was Charles Francis Adams, the U.S. ambassador to Great Britain under the Lincoln administration. Interestingly, he too made a note in his diary about the fishing trip. He wrote simply, "Went fishing with my son; a day wasted."
Of course the day was not wasted; its value may well have proved to make it one of the most well-spent days in his life. No one can measure the influence of a man on his children, and that is all the more reason to take the job and its responsibilities seriously.
Someone has written, "last night my little boy confessed to me some childish wrong; and kneeling at my knee, he prayed with tears, 'O Lord, make me a man like Daddy-wise and strong. I know you can.'Then while he slept, I knelt beside his bed, confessed my sins and prayed with low-bowed head, 'O God, make me a child like my child here; pure, guileless, trusting thee with faith sincere.'"
What kind of a father are you?

Too Many Orphanages
One family has opened its heart and its home to a number of Cambodian refugees, taking them right in with their natural sons and daughters and sharing all they have. It makes a crowded house, yet these orphans from a distant land are happy.
But there are many other orphans around these days. Some homes have become "orphanages," not because the father is dead, but because he is too busy pursuing his own dreams and providing physical and material needs. This group of "spiritual" orphans is growing by leaps and bounds.
No one wants children to grow up and follow a bad example. There is no greater tragedy than to lose the respect of one's own children. It will haunt one in a lonely old age. Good fathers are wanted-and needed.

Father's Day
Fathers and mothers have the greatest opportunity as teachers of anyone in the world. You see, that boy or girl in the home has the chance to see if Father and Mother really believe and practice what they teach.
A father who says he believes in Sunday school, and then does not go himself, is teaching by his actions that he really does not feel it very important. A father who teaches love and tolerance to all and yet maintains a critical attitude in the home toward his brothers and sisters in the church is doing a wrong to his children which never in this world can be undone. It is pure poison to the mind of the child, and will most certainly be a stumbling block in the way of the child becoming a Christian.
A father who says he believes the Bible to be the greatest Book, to be God's Word to us, but leaves it on the shelf to gather dust while he spends hours with the newspaper, magazines, radio and television is in reality saying, "Children, the Bible is not too important. You should read it if you have any extra time."
Which one of you had not heard a little boy step proudly forward among his playmates and declare, "I KNOW that's so because my Daddy said so!" He has confidence in you, dear Dad, and the things which he sees you put first in your life are going to stand out as mighty important to him, too.
Is your prayer: "Lord, fit me to be loved and imitated by my children"? A Preoccupied Father
One day a small boy was taking a walk with his father. When they passed an unusual looking truck, he said, "What is that, Daddy?"
"I don't know," his father said.
Then they came to a large, old-fashioned warehouse, "What's in there, Daddy?" the little boy asked.
"I don't know," his father replied.
After they had walked on a short way in silence, the little boy turned to his father and said, "Daddy, do you mind my asking you so many questions?"
"Of course not," commented his father proudly. "How else are you going to learn anything?"

God the Father, in Luke 15
In Luke 15 Christ related to the people one of the most poignant stories in all literature, that of the prodigal son. Nearly everyone can relate to one of the characters, the prodigal son, the elder brother, or the father. Each of the characters teaches important lessons for Christians to learn. In verses Luke 15:20-24 we learn some things about the father that Christian fathers need to imitate as they try to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
He was patient-Although the son had been gone a long time (long enough for a famine to ravage the land), the father was still looking. He "saw him a great way off." His eyes never tired of looking for his wayward son. Fathers, how patient are you with your children when they falter on life's pathway?
He was loving-When he saw his son coming, he ran to him. He could not wait for his son to come to him. He immediately hugged and kissed his son. The father did not even ask for an explanation of where he had been or what he had been doing. He did not give him a lecture on "you should have known better," or "I hope you have learned your lesson." Fathers, how loving are you toward your children when they make mistakes?
He was forgiving-We know he was forgiving because his actions demonstrated it. So anxious was he to forgive his son that he did not let him finish his plea. (In Luke 15:18-19 the son plans to ask his father to make him a servant. But the father cuts him off before he gets that far, Luke 15:21-22). The father restored his wayward son to his original place and treated him with the highest honor. Fathers, how forgiving are you of your children when they do wrong?
He had his priorities in the right place-The most important thing was not that his son had sinned, not that he had taken advantage of his father, not that he had caused his father untold grief; the most important thing was that his son was alive and had come home. The Relationship We Really Need
A little boy sat frustrated and near tears. He was trying to build a toy wagon, but he just could not get the wheels to go on. His dad came along, took the wagon and the four wheels and, in no time at all, had it rolling smoothly along. The boy was grateful for the loving and helpful touch his father added to his life. Though he is no longer a child, he still remembers his father's help that day.
It has been said that any man can be a father but that it takes a special kind of man to be a Dad! The ideal father does more than simply have a part in the procreation of the child, he helps to mold the child throughout his growing years through generous amounts of love, guidance, correction, forgiveness and praise. Fortunate are those who have had a father with whom they had such a personal relationship.
Whether or not this has been the case for you, this much is for certain: we can all experience the ultimate father-child relationship when we experience God as our heavenly Father.

Please, Daddy, Let's Go
A little boy with shiny eyes,
His little face aglow.
Said, "It is time for Sunday School.
Please, Daddy, let's go!"
"Oh no," said Daddy, "Not today.
I have worked hard all week;
And I must have a day of rest,
I am going to the creek.
For there I can relax and rest,
And fishing's fine they say;
So run along, don't bother me,
We will go to church some other day."
Months and years have passed away
But Daddy hears that plea no more
"Please, let's go to Sunday School!"
Those childhood days are o'er.
Now that daddy's growing old,
When life is almost through,
He does find time to go to church,
But, what does his son do?
He says, "Old Man, you're kidding!
I have caroused around all night,
A-popping pills, and smoking pot-
You should have seen me fight!"
The daddy lifts a trembling hand
To brush away the tears,
He seems to hear the pleading voice,
Distinctly through the years.
He sees his small son's wistful face
Upturned, with eyes aglow,
Saying, "It's time for Sunday School,
Please, Daddy-won't you go?" A Father's Prayer
Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be; a son who will realize that to know Thee and know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenges. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fall.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
Then, I, his father, will dare to whisper, "I have not lived in vain." The Kind of Dad I Would Buy
If I went shopping for a man to be my dad, here is what I'd buy: one who would always stop to answer a little boy's "why?" One who would always speak kindly to a little girl or boy, one who would give a bit of sunshine and joy.
I would pick a dad who followed the Bible's Golden Rule, and one who went regularly to church and Bible school. I would buy the very finest Dad to place in our family tree-and then I'd try to live like him, so he would be proud of me.

Advice to Fathers About Their Children:
Always trust them to God's care.
Bring them to church.
Challenge them to high goals.
Delight in their achievements.
Exalt the Lord in their presence.
Frown on evil.
Give them love.
Hear their problems.
Ignore not their childish fears.
Joyfully accept their apologies.
Keep their confidence.
Live a good example before them.
Make them your friends.
Never ignore their endless questions.
Open your home to their visits.
Pray for them by name.
Quicken your interest in their spirituality.
Remember their needs.
Show them the way of salvation.
Teach them to work.
Understand they are still young.
Verify your statements.
Wean them from bad company.
Expect them to obey.
Yearn for God's best for them.
Zealously guide them in biblical truth.

One Neat Dad
Did you ever notice in the TV family The Waltons how the father was always available; or in Little House on The Prairie, how Laura's dad was always there for the tight squeezes? Contrast these situations with the modern dad who is gone from morning to night. Things have certainly changed since the 1930s and the earlier house on the prairie days, maybe too much. Years ago, Dr. Charlie Shedd held a contest called "One Neat Dad." He asked contestants to send in letters recommending their dad for this great honor. Here's a list of the ten most appreciated qualities for "One Neat Dad."
He takes time for me.
He listens to me.
He plays with me.
He invites me to go places with him.
He lets me help him.
He treats my mother well.
He lets me say what I think.
He is nice to my friends.
He only punishes me when I deserve it.
He is not afraid to admit when he is wrong.
Qualities one to five are versions of the single word, "time!" Spell it-listen, spell it-play, spell it-help me, spell it-jump in the pickup ...it all comes out in the same four letters, T-I-M-E. Time was the most appreciated trait of "One Neat Dad"!

Father's Lap
A prominent Philadelphia Christian businessman's wife felt he was not spending enough time with his six-year-old daughter. He decided to make up for that failing all at once.
He had his limousine driver take him to her school, where she was picked up and deposited next to him in the backseat. They took off for New York City where he had made reservations for dinner in an expensive French restaurant and had tickets to a Broadway show.
After an exhausting evening, they were driven home. In the morning, the little girl's mother could hardly wait to find out how the evening had gone. "How did you like it?"
The little girl thought a moment. "It was okay, I guess, but I would rather have eaten at McDonald's. And I did not really understand the show. But the best part was when we were riding home in that great big car and I put my head down on Daddy's lap and fell asleep." In Daddy's Shoes
I watched him playing around my door,
My neighbor's little boy of four.
I wondered why a child would choose
To wear his dad's old worn-out shoes.
I saw him try with all his might
To make the laces snug and tight.
I smiled to see him walk, and then
He'd only step right out again.
I heard him say his voice so glad,
"I want to be just like my Dad."
I hope his Dad his steps would choose
Safe for his son to wear his shoes.
And then a shout and cry of joy,
A "Hello, Dad!" and a "Hi-yu, boy!"
They walked along in measured stride
Each face aglow with love and pride.
"What have you done today, my lad?"
"I tried to wear your old shoes, Dad,
They are big but when I am a man
I'll wear your shoes. I know I can."
They stopped and stood there hand in hand
He saw his son's tracks in the sand,
His words-a prayer-came back to me,
"Lord, let my steps lead him to Thee."

I'll Be Like You
To get his goodnight kiss he stood
Beside my chair one night
And raised an eager face to me,
A face with love alight.
And as I gathered in my arms
The son God gave to me,
I thanked the lad for being good,
And hoped he'd always be.
His little arms crept round my neck
And then I heard him say
Four simple words I can't forget
Four words that made me pray.
They turned a mirror in my soul,
On secrets no one knew.
They startled me; I hear them yet,
He said, "I'll be like you."

Let Your Children Know What You Value
A woman in Alabama told us about being with her husband at his father's deathbed. As the end approached, the father suddenly sat upright with a look of terror on his face. "What's happening to me, son?" he cried, grasping for the younger man, and then he sank back into the pillows.
The woman's husband was so visibly shaken, he staggered out into the hall. Joining him, the wife said softly, "This must be so terrible for you to have seen your Dad dying this way."
"That's not what got to me," her husband choked out, "It's that this is the first time in my life he ever called me 'son'."
Jesus didn't wait until the cross to let His disciples know how much He valued them. When He first met Nathaniel He said, "Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no guile." And after a year or so with Simon, He said, "Blessed art thou, Simon, Bar-Jonah." The gospels radiate with His affirmations toward these and the rest of His disciples.

Daddy's Example
He couldn't see much reason
To go to Bible school;
And yet he didn't argue
With Daddy's Sunday rule.
But still he often wondered-
If Daddy's words were true,
Since Bible study's needed,
Why Dad did not go too?
One day when he was angry,
His Daddy overheard
Him say in tones emphatic,
A string of ugly words.
The boy was quickly summoned,
By an indignant shout;
And as the lad stood trembling,
His Daddy cursed him out.
And then a new adventure,
The boy embarked upon;
He tried a little smoking,
Which led to more than one.
His Daddy whipped and lectured:
'Twas quite a stern attack,
And then the son gave answer:
"I got them from your pack!"
We need no application,
The truth shines bright as day;
We teach much more by doing,
Much less by what we say.
Do naught but what you truly
Desire your child to do;
He may not always hear well,
But he is watching you! The God-Image in Fathers
It has been said a child is not likely to find a Father in God unless he finds something of God in his father.
A Bible school teacher asked her class to draw a picture of God for her. A little boy finished first and said, "I drew a picture of my daddy because I don't know what God looks like, but I know what my dad looks like." (What a great responsibility we fathers have).
It is so important for us to be the kind of parents that will make our children want to honor their father and mother (Ephesians 6:1-4).

Fathers Are Wonderful People!
I wish you could meet my Dad;
He's really quite a guy!
I wouldn't trade with anyone,
And here's the reason why:
Whenever I have problems,
Doubts, or questions, too,
We talk them all over, Dad and I,
And find what's best to do.
He helps me practice baseball,
And gives me useful tips;
And even lets me go along
When he takes fishing trips!
Then, too, my Dad's a Christian;
We often kneel and pray;
He helps me live as Jesus taught.
Yes, sir, my Dad's O.K.

Just Like His Dad
"Well, what are you going to be, my boy,
When you have reached manhood's years:
A doctor, a lawyer, or orator great,
Moving throngs to laughter and tears?"
But he shook his head, as he gave reply
In a serious way he had:
"I don't think I'd care to be any of them:
I Want to Be Like My Dad!"
He wants to be like his dad! You Men,
Did you ever think as you pause,
That the boy who watches your every move
Is building a set of laws?
He's molding a life you're the model for,
And whether it's good or bad
Depends on the kind of example set
To the boy who'd Be Like His Dad.
Would you have him go everywhere you go?
Have him do just the things you do?
And see everything that your eyes behold,
And woo all the gods you woo?
When you see the worship that smiles in the eyes
Of your lovable little lad
Could you rest content if he gets his wish
And grows to Be Like His Dad?
It's a joy that none but yourself can fill
It's a charge you must answer for;
It's a duty to show him the road to tread
Ere he reaches his manhood's door.
It's a debt you owe for the greatest joy
On this old earth to be had;
This pleasure of having a boy to raise
Who wants to Be Like His Dad!

People Are Important
Joseph M. Stowell gives this illustration:
"I thoroughly enjoy working in my yard. I've got my own system of fertilizing my lawn, cutting it, and caring for it. One year, when my son Joe was in his early teens, I spent all spring getting the yard to look just the way I wanted. We had a basketball hoop at the end of our driveway, and on several occasions Joe came along and said, 'Dad, let's play basketball.'My response was always, 'Joe, not right now. I'm busy working in the yard.'Or, 'I've got to trim this edge here.'Or, 'I've got to do the fertilizing now.'
Later that summer, I visited a hospital on several successive nights to comfort a family whose boy-about Joe's age-was dying. One evening as I drove home, it struck me that I had a boy just like that, that it was a great gift from God to have a healthy young son, and that I had permitted things-a lawn-to eclipse the value of time with him. I drove down our street and saw my beautiful, green, wonderfully manicured lawn. I drove into the driveway, saw the basketball hoop, and thought, I don't care what I have to do tonight; one thing I'm going to do right now is play basketball with my son.
So I threw open the door and yelled, 'Hey, Joe! Let's play basketball!'And he said, 'Not right now, Dad-I'm busy.'I was convicted, and I wondered, How could I ever have let things eclipse the importance of my son?
When you think about the truth about people, beware the treachery of the seduction of things."