Marriage

Marriage

Those Sweet Short Years
There is no greater blessing on earth than a good marriage. A young couple was visiting with an older couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. "Fifty years!" the young husband exclaimed, "That is a long time to be married to one person." The old gentleman looked over at his wife with love in his eyes and said, "It would have been a lot longer without her."
In Christian marriage, two people grow more and more one with every passing year. They are "fellow heirs of the grace of life" and they are more than happy to share. Each is helping the other on the way to eternity.
Someone asked, "Is there anything more beautiful than a boy and girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage?" The answer is "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing: it is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed but still radiant; their hearts are tired and bowed down but still strong. They have proved the happiness of marriage and vindicated it from the jeers of cynics."

How to Preserve a Husband
Be careful in your selection.
Once selected, give your entire thoughts to preparation for domestic use.
Some wives insist upon keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly getting them into hot water. This makes them sour, hard, and sometimes bitter. Even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good, by garnishing them with kisses, wrapping them in a blanket of love, keeping them warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion, and serving with peaches and cream.
Thus prepared they will keep for years!!

Tell Her So
Amid the cares of married life,
In spite of toil and business strife,
If you value your sweet wife,
Tell her so!
There was a time you thought it bliss
To get the favor of a kiss;
A dozen now won't come amiss-
Tell her so!
Do not act as if she has passed her prime,
As though to please her were a crime-
If e'er you loved her, now is the time;
Tell her so!
Never let her heart grow cold;
Richer beauties will unfold.
She is worth her weight in gold;
Tell her so!

Please Talk to Me
Pastor Charles Curtis stresses the importance of really communicating:
"My husband does not talk to me," is the complaint of 80 percent of American wives. It has been claimed that "One hundred percent of the people seeking professional help for their marriages have problems of communication." In our world, the power to send and receive messages reaches around the globe (even out into space), and this information is available in seconds! Yet, husbands and wives are unable to successfully communicate across the breakfast table. "Please talk to me" is the request and basic need in many homes.
Communication is a rich source of blessing. What a joy it is to talk and listen! Recently, I had a sore throat and was to preach that night. In order to save my throat, I wrote notes and did not speak for the entire day. It was maddening and frustrating. "A word spoken in season, how good is it" (Proverbs 15:23)! "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" (Proverbs 25:11).
The lack of communication multiplies our problems as it destroys bridges over which we need to travel. An old farmer had trouble guiding his mule, but said nothing. When asked why he didn't speak to the mule, he responded, "That old mule kicked me five years ago and I ain't spoke to him since." Marriage offers companionship, and this is impossible without communication. People can be lonely in a crowd or in a marriage. Lines of communication should be carefully built and maintained in the home. "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges" (Joseph E. Newton).
Communication is more than just speaking. How well do we listen? The Scripture admonished us: "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:19). While a senator, Lyndon Johnson had this sign in his office: "You ain't learning nothing when you're doing all the talking." Listening is essential to communication. Parents often fail to really hear what their children may be saying. Teenages run away from home "because it is the only way they know how to cope with a family that has forgotten how to listen" (Fred Gross). Listening has a way of saying-"To me, you are an important person. I appreciate you, I accept you, I love you, and I want to hear what you have to say." It is only by listening that we can correctly respond.

Nine Suggestions for an Ailing Marriage
Never consider divorce an option. It is not a solution to your problem. Divorce is not an acceptable alternative because God says it is not.
Do not compare your mate or your marriage to others. There is not another person on earth like you. Your mate is also unique. This means that your marriage is unique. Let God make it what He wants it to be. He will make it perfect!
Forgive your mate. You are to forgive as Christ has forgiven you. You are a sinner. He or she is a sinner. You are not perfect-so be willing to forgive one another. And do it right away before any bitterness can build up.
Stop all criticism. Love does not criticize and find fault. Therefore, if you are critical of your mate, you do not have a heart of love. Stop all criticism. Instead, try a little praise. It works like magic!
Start communicating with your mate. Communication is completely broken down in many homes and marriages. Start listening to what your mate is saying as well as to what he or she is not saying. Break down the barriers by being vulnerable. Try saying, "Honey, what is the biggest fault I have?" Then say, "Would you please help me, by the grace of God, to gain victory over that fault?"
Refuse any relationship outside your marriage in which affection is sought or given. This substitute could even be a relative, a friend, or a neighbor. Do not seek to make someone else a substitute for what you are not getting in your marriage. You will never solve your problem doing this.
Trust your mate. Trust your spouse, even if he or she is wrong -you are right in trusting. A marriage must be based on trust. It cannot survive without it.
Do something every day to please your mate-something that you know will bring your partner joy and happiness. This is not asking much-to do one thing-but it pays big dividends.
Thank God every day for the 25 best qualities in your mate. Write them down. Concentrate on them and the positive will soon outshine the negative.

Marital Turmoil
Some people think that courtship is when a man spoons, and marriage is when he must fork over. It is tragic to realize that in the church of Christ there are constant marital difficulties. Christian mates ought to be among the happiest of people on the face of the planet! Why should a man and woman who profess to be in love with the Lord continue in misery because of a rocky marital relationship?
The closer husbands and wives walk with Christ the easier their lives together will become. But show me a husband and wife who are unfaithful to the Bridegroom, Jesus, and I will show you a couple in deep trouble. Will a Christian wife nag and complain and bemoan everything or will she be a radiant help-meet for the man with whom she chose to live out her life? Will a husband come home and sequester himself behind the evening newspaper if he really wants to demonstrate Christian love?
Once a housewife asked her husband if he minded escorting her out to the garbage can. He asked why she would make such a silly request. She replied, "I just want to be able to tell the neighbors that we go out together once in a while." Marriage is a give-and-take proposition, and a wise couple soon realizes that each must give more than was thought during courtship.
Too many mates fritter their lives away and burden others by supposing they have insurmountable problems within their marriages. But Paul reminds us: "Wives, submit to you husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them" (Colossians 3:18-19). Unselfish love is the key to successful Christian marriages.

Divorce
Although one in every two married couples ends up divorced, certain categories of marriages have a much higher success rate. A national survey revealed that when two criteria are present-the couple attends church, and they pray together at home-there was only one divorce in one thousand marriages!

How Husbands Can Emotionally Meet Their Wives' Needs
When did you last tell your wife, "I love you?" When did she last hear those words that are music to her ears-"I really do need you"? Have you recently told her, "Honey, I think you are a really good mother for our children?"
The vast majority of wives are starving for verbal affirmation from their husbands. And most men are so thoughtless and insensitive that they will not give their wives what the wives desperately want and deserve.
We husbands gladly encourage our wives to buy food and grudgingly encourage them to buy clothes, but most who come to counseling just cannot dig deeply enough to give complimentary words. So, marriages are unfulfilling, wives feel unappreciated, and many marriages wither and die.
Husbands, speak up! God expects you, as the head, to do more than provide financially for your wife. He wants you to also provide for her emotional well-being.
Whisper it, write it, or shout it-just get those words of affirmation to the ears of your wife.

What Glues Husband and Wife Together?
Dr. Joseph Henry said that during the Second World War, two physics graduate students heard their professor say that someday a method would be devised for polishing glass that would replace steel as the flattest surface known to man. When this was done, he said, a revolution in technology would take place.
After graduation, these two young physicists formed a partnership and set out to prove their professor's theory. They established a laboratory and went to work. Several years later, after a very complicated process, they had a great breakthrough. They produced such a flat surface that it could be used to measure objects within two-millionths of an inch-a great improvement over anything previously developed.
When Dr. Henry visited their plant, one of the owners said to him, "See these two squares of glass? They have been put through this new process, and I want to show you something." Then he simply placed the two pieces together, handed them to Dr. Henry, and said, "Now take them apart." After he pulled, pushed, twisted, turned and exerted all of his strength, Dr. Henry still could not budge them.
The young physicist explained, "Two surfaces are held together by a certain number of points of contact, but ordinarily there are so few they easily come apart. The points on these two pieces of glass, however, have been ground down until they are almost completely flat surfaces. They are held together by so many points of contact that it is almost impossible to get them apart."
If you let God rub down the rough edges in you and your spouse, nothing will be able to tear you apart.