01.12. CHAPTER 12 - A YOUNG MAN!
CHAPTER 12 - A YOUNG MAN!
One day our pastor came to see me, along with his wife, and asked me whether I was thinking of getting married and if so, whether I would be interested in considering a young man from the church as a possible life-partner. His name was Prakash and he was working as a technician in an electronics company. He was a good Christian who had surmounted many obstacles to get a good education.
There were many factors to be considered in this proposal - both positive and negative. He and I were from different communities and our mother-tongues were different. I wanted to marry someone with whom I could speak freely in a common language. Communication was, for me, a very important part of married life. So I was glad to know that he spoke English well.
Prakash had a good testimony in the church, and from the little I had seen of him in the meetings, where he led the singing, I felt I could look up to him spiritually. This was a very important factor for me. I had seen many Christian wives who had great difficulty in their marriages because they could not look up to their husbands spiritually. I also sensed that Prakash and I had one important thing in common - our love for the Lord. But I did not want to take a decision too quickly. So I told the pastor I would pray about it. I was excited. But I did not want my excitement to run away with me. I fasted and prayed one day and asked the Lord to show me His will clearly; and then I continued to pray about the matter each day.
Prakash was living with his parents, being their only son. I knew that if I married him I would possibly have to live with them. I was willing for anything. All I wanted to know was the will of my Heavenly Father. I put away all the plans I had made to live a life of comfort and luxury. I decided that if I married him, I would respect his parents just as I respected my own.
I longed to have a home and a family and that thought cheered me. But it was not a life of comfort that loomed ahead of me. A new culture, a person from a different community and a life with my parents-in-law lay ahead of me. But it would be a life of happiness, for Prakash and I loved the Lord. That was what comforted me the most.
I thought of Ruth, a girl in the Bible who had left her people and married someone outside her own culture and race. She remained true to her husband and to his people. She started life as a poor woman. But God blessed her and even though she was from the Moabite race - a race that originated in incest (Genesis 19:30-37) and that was not permitted to enter the assembly of the Lord (Deuteronomy 23:3) - yet she became the great-grandmother of King David.
Two books I read at that time helped me a great deal in finding God’s will. They were SEX, LOVE AND MARRIAGE (The Christian Approach) and FINDING GOD’S WILL (both by Zac Poonen). These books taught me to look at marriage from God’s viewpoint. The first book also helped me to see what I should look for in a possible life-partner. Then I asked the pastor for more information about Prakash and his family.
I also wrote to my parents about this proposal. But I knew that they would not be happy with it. They wanted me to marry someone who was rich or who was working abroad and making lots of money. And if I was not willing for that, they possibly wanted me to remain single all my life and support them. I wrote to them respectfully and asked them whether they would be more interested in my being happy or in my making a lot of money. I sent the letter with much prayer that God would change their mind. The thought of becoming somebody’s wife overwhelmed me, at times. I was even a bit afraid. I was considering a very serious step that would change my entire way of life. I was going to share my lot with another person. It was not like having a new room-mate in my hostel. If she was difficult, I could always ignore her or change my room. But I could never do that with a husband! I prayed fervently that I might not miss the will of God. I also prayed that if I were making a mistake, the Lord would somehow stop this proposal at this stage itself. I wanted to be in the centre of God’s will. I did not want to have an unhappy marriage as my mother had had.
After a couple of months of daily, fervent prayer, I felt a peace in my spirit about this proposal. This I knew was God’s way of indicating to me that this was indeed His will for me. I told my pastor about it. The very next day I got a letter from my parents giving their approval for my marriage. How perfect was God’s timing!
They had apparently made some enquiries (without my knowledge) about Prakash from some friends of theirs (who were working in a town near where I was working), and had obtained a good report about him. The pastor announced our engagement in the church-service one day. Prakash and I thereafter met each other in the visitor’s room of our hostel and got to know each other a little better. I found a growing love for Prakash within me and sensed that this was reciprocated, even though we did not express it freely to each other, due to the reticence and reservations of our Indian culture!
How good God had been to me and how wonderfully He had led me to the one He had chosen for me. Although in my younger days I had foolishly fantasized in my mind about being in love with other men, the Lord had kept me, by His grace, from wasting my affections on anyone else. But even if I had made such a mistake and fallen, I knew that my loving Saviour would have forgiven me, blotted out my sins and helped me to start afresh. God gives all of us many chances even after we have failed, and helps us to forget our past completely.
I wrote about my engagement to my warden-friend, whose advice and prayers had kept me all these years. In typical, Christlike fashion, she replied that she shared my joy - even though she herself was still single. When I thought of all that God had done for me in this matter, at a time when I had given up all hope of getting married and my parents too were unable to help me, I was reminded of the words of Mary who said, "My spirit has rejoiced in God my Saviour, for He has had regard for the humble state of His bondslave, for the Mighty One has done great things for me" (Luke 1:47-49).
Prakash and I used to meet twice a week and I looked forward to every visit of his. I could see that he loved the Lord deeply, and this, more than anything else, made me secure. I waited eagerly for the day when I would be his bride. And we made plans for our life together. We concluded each visit with prayer, acknowledging the Lord Jesus as Lord of our lives. My days were full of sunshine now!