1 Corinthians 7
McGeeCHAPTER 7THEME: MarriageThis chapter concerns marriage; so we shall be discussing the subject of sex. I think we will probably handle it in a more dignified manner than is usual today because we are going to follow Paul. In the previous chapter Paul had given them the spiritual truths that, by application to the problem of marriage, can solve matters that relate to sex in marriage. You will remember that he emphasized that our bodies belong to God and that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Ghost. Our bodies are to be used for the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 7:1
It is obvious that the Corinthian believers had written a letter to Paul concerning this problem. We do not have the question, but we do have Paul’s answer. Paul has taken a long time to get to this. He first dealt with the divisions and the scandals in their midst. However, he has no reluctance in dealing with the subject of marriage, and he writes boldly and very frankly. Before we get into the text itself, I wish to deal with two introductory matters. First there is the question: Was Paul ever married? If Paul was never married, then in his explanation he is simply theorizing. He is not speaking from experience. However, Paul did not do that. Paul always spoke from experience. It was not the method of the Spirit of God to choose a man who knew nothing about the subject on which the Spirit of God wanted him to write. It has always been assumed that Paul was not married on the basis of the seventh verse: “For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.” If we are going to assume that Paul was not married, we need to pay attention to the verse that follows: “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.” Someone will say, “He still says that he is unmarried.” Granted. We know he was not married. But notice that he mentions two classes here: the unmarried and the widows (or widowers). He could have been unmarried or a widower. It is difficult to believe that Paul had always been unmarried because of his background and because of who he was. Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin. In Act_26:10 Paul says, “Which thing I also did in Jerusalem: and many of the saints did I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I gave my voice against them.” How could he give his voice against them? It was by his vote in the Sanhedrin, which means he was a member of the Sanhedrin. Since Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin, he must have been a married man because that was one of the conditions of membership. There was an insistence upon Jewish young men to marry. The Mishna said this should be at the age of eighteen. In the Yebhamoth, in the commentary on Gen_5:2 it states: “A Jew who has no wife is not a man.” I believe it is an inescapable conclusion that Paul at one time was a married man. He undoubtedly was a widower who had never remarried. In chapter 9 we read, “Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?” (1Co_9:5). I think Paul is saying, “I could marry again if I wanted to; I would be permitted to do that. But I’m not going to for the simple reason that I would not ask a woman to follow me around in the type of ministry God has given to me.” It is my conviction that in the past Paul had loved some good woman who had reciprocated his love because he spoke so tenderly of the marriage relationship. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph_5:25). I would like to give you a quotation from F. W. Farrar who writes in his Life and Work of St. Paul: “The other question which arises is, Was Saul married? Had he the support of some loving heart during the fiery struggles of his youth? Amid the to-and-fro contentions of spirit which resulted from an imperfect and unsatisfying creed, was there in the troubled sea of his life one little island home where he could find refuge from incessant thoughts? Little as we know of his domestic relations, little as he cared to mingle mere private interests with the great spiritual truths which occupy his soul, it seems to me that we must answer this question in the affirmative.” The position of many expositors is that Paul had been married and that his wife had died. Paul never made reference to her, but because he spoke so tenderly of the marriage relationship, I believe he had been married. The second introductory matter is not a question but a statement. We need to understand the Corinth of that day. If we do not, we are going to fall into the trap of saying that Paul is commending the single state above the married state. One must understand the local situation of Corinth to know what he is talking about. Notice the first two verses again. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband [1Co_7:1-2].We need to understand Corinth. I have been to the ruins of ancient Corinth. Towering above those ruins is the mountain which was the acropolis, called Acro-Corinthus. The city was dominated by the Acro-Corinthus, and on top of it was the temple of Aphrodite. It towered over the city like a dark cloud. Today the ruins of a Crusader fort are there. When the Crusaders came, they used the stones from the temple of Aphrodite to build their fortress. This temple was like most heathen temples. Sex was a religion. There were one thousand so-called vestal virgins there. In that temple you could get food, drink, and sex. Those vestal virgins were nothing in the world but one thousand prostitutes. Sex was carried on in the name of religion. That was the philosophy of Plato, by the way. People tend to forget the immorality of that culture. A man once said to me, “Socrates wrote in a very lofty language.” Yes, sometimes he did. He also told prostitutes how they ought to conduct themselves. The whole thought was to get rid of the desires of the body by satisfying them. That is heathenism. That came out in two basic philosophies of the Greeks. Stoicism said the basic desires were to be denied; Epicureanism said they were to be fulfilled all the way. The wife in the Roman world was a chattel. She was a workhorse. A man generally had several wives. One had charge of the kitchen, another had charge of the living area, another was in charge of the clothes. Sex was secondary because the man went up to the temple where the good-looking girls were kept. There they celebrated the seasons of fertility, and believe me, friend, that is what was carried on. You will still find the same thing among the Bedouins in Palestine today. They have several wives, and it is a practical thing for them. One takes care of the sheep, another goes with the man as he wanders around, another stays back at the home base where they have a tent and probably a few fruit trees. He thinks he needs at least three wives. Now Paul lifts marriage up to the heights, out of this degradation, and says to the Corinthians they are not to live like that. Every man is to have one wife, and every woman is to have her own husband. Paul lifted woman from the place of slavery in the pagan world, the Roman Empire, and made her a companion of man. He restored her to her rightful position. He was in Ephesus when he wrote to the Corinthians, and in Ephesus there was much the same thing in the awful temple of Diana. It was to the Ephesians that Paul wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph_5:25). Now I know somebody is going to say that he also told wives to obey their husbands. I would like to know where he said that. He did write, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph_5:22). Have you ever looked up the word submit to see what it means? To submit means to respond. Wives are to respond to their own husbands. The wife is to react to the man. Man is the aggressor. He initiates the expression of love, and the woman is the receiver. This is not a matter of sex alone; it involves a couple mentally, spiritually, psychologically, and physically. Man is the aggressor; woman is the receiver. God created man and woman that way in the beginning. He created woman as the “helpmeet,” a helper suitable for him or corresponding to him. She is the other part of man. When a husband says, “I love you,” she answers, “I love you.” When a man admits that he has a cold wife, he is really saying that he is a failure as a husband and that he is to blame for the condition. Paul lifts woman from the slave state to that of a partner of man. Listen to the next verse:
1 Corinthians 7:3
She is to respond to him. He is to tell her that he loves her.
1 Corinthians 7:4
The man is not to run up to that temple of Aphrodite. That is sin. Love and sex are to take place at home. That is exactly what he is saying here. The only motive for marriage is lovenot sex, but love. I am convinced that Paul had known the love of a good and great woman. So many of the great men in Scripture knew the love of a woman. There are Adam and Eve, Jacob and Rachel, Boaz and Ruth, David and Abigailit was Abigail who told David, “…the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God …” (1Sa_25:29). It is said of John Wesley that when he came to America he was not a saved man. He wrote, “I came to this country to convert Indians, but who is going to convert John Wesley?” The story goes that the crown had sent to America an insipid nobleman. Due to the terrible custom of that day, the nobility was entitled to marry the finest, and he had married a woman of striking beauty and strong personality, who also was an outstanding Christian. Then there came into their colony this fiery young missionary. And these two fell in love. But she said, “No, John, God has called you to go back to England to do some great service for Him.” It was she who sent John Wesley back to Englandto marry the Methodist Church.
Back in England Wesley was converted, and she was his inspiration. Behind every great man is a great woman. Now Paul continues his guidelines for conduct in marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:5
He says this is not a commandment, but it is a guideline to follow so that Satan will not have an opportunity to tempt either member of the marriage relationship.
1 Corinthians 7:7
At this time Paul did not have a wife. He did not remarry. He was not taking a wife along with him on his travels. There are people in the Lord’s work who have not married. They have made that kind of sacrificesome for several years, some for their whole lifetime. You remember that the Lord Jesus said, “For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake …” (Mat_19:12). When I began in the ministry, I attempted to imitate a man who was a bachelor. I thought that was the happiest state, but I soon learned that it wasn’t for me. I wanted a wife. Paul says that is all right"every man hath his proper gift of God."
1 Corinthians 7:8
It is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:10
COMMAND TO THE MARRIEDHere is a commandment. Paul is putting it on the line. The wife is not to leave her husband, and the husband is not to leave his wife. If one or the other is going to leave, then they are to remain unmarried. Now there was a new problem which presented itself in Corinth. After Paul had come and had preached the gospel to them, a husband in a family would accept Christ but the wife would not. In another family it might be that the wife would accept Christ and the husband would not. What were the believers to do under such circumstances?
1 Corinthians 7:12
If one was married to an unsaved man or to an unsaved woman and there were children in the family, Paul said they should try to see it through. Paul says, “Stay right where you are if you can.”
1 Corinthians 7:15
If the unbeliever walks out of the marriage, that is another story. Then the believer is free. Now the question which is asked is whether that one is free to marry again. I believe that under certain circumstances Paul would have given permission for that. I do not think one can put down a categorical rule either way for today. I think that each case stands or falls on its own merits. I’m afraid this can easily be abused, even by Christians. I am afraid sometimes a husband or a wife tries to get rid of the other and forces them to leave in order that they might have a “scriptural ground” for divorce.
1 Corinthians 7:16
This should be the goal of the wife. I know several women who were married to unsaved men and tried to win them for Christ. This also should be the goal of the husband who is married to an unsaved woman. Winning them for Christ should be uppermost in their consideration.
1 Corinthians 7:17
Paul is advising people to stay in the situation in which they are. They are not to walk out of their marriage after they have heard and accepted the gospel. They are to stay married if the unbelieving partner will allow it. This ought to answer the question for today. Unfortunately, there are some ministers and evangelists who have advised people who have had a divorce and have remarried to go back to their first mate after they had come to Christ. May I say, I can’t think of anything more tragic than that kind of advice. I know one woman who finally ended up in a mental institution because she followed the advice of some evangelist who told her to leave her second husband and her lovely Christian home and go back to a drunken husband whom she had previously divorced. How foolish can one be? We need to understand what Paul is saying here.
1 Corinthians 7:18
Paul now expands the application of this principle. It applies to other relationships in life. For instance, if when you are converted you belong to the circumcised, that is, if you are an Israelite, don’t try to become a Gentile. If you are a Gentile, don’t try to become an Israelite. Circumcision or uncircumcision is no longer important. Obedience to Christ is the issue now. The Israelite and the Gentile are one in Christ. The whole point here is that in whatever state you find yourself when you accept Christ, stay right there. I have known many businessmen who get into some Christian organization after their conversion, and the next thing I know they come to me and say that they are thinking of giving up the business and going into full-time Christian work. My friend, if you are a successful businessman, God may have given you a gift to minister in that particular area. He may not intend for you to change and go into full-time Christian work. Let’s go on and listen to what Paul says.
1 Corinthians 7:21
In that day there were slaves and freemen. If a person were a slave or a servant of a man, he was not to try to get loosed from that, thinking that God wanted him to be freed from his master. I find today that there are many housewives who get the notion that they are to become great Bible teachers. They get so involved in it that they neglect their families. I shall never forget the story I heard about the late Gypsy Smith. A woman came to him in Dallas, Texas, and said, “Gypsy Smith, I feel called to go into the ministry.” He asked her a very pertinent question (he had a way of doing that), “Are you married?” She said that she was. “How many children do you have?” She answered that she had five. He said, “That’s wonderful. God has called you into the ministry, and He has already given you your congregation!”
1 Corinthians 7:23
You have been redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. Now don’t be a slave to someone. Does this sound like a contradiction? Let me explain by an example. A cocktail waitress was converted by hearing the gospel on our radio broadcast. Everything about the Bible was brand new to her.
She asked me a question about whether she should give up being a cocktail waitress because she just didn’t feel right about it. I answered her that it was up to her. I said, “That is a decision that you must make. If you have a conviction about it, then give it up. If you want to know what I think about it personally, I think you ought to give it up. However don’t give it up because I say so, but give it up if that becomes your conviction.” She did give it up and found another job within a couple of weeks.
She had been bought with a price; she was not to be a servant of man.
1 Corinthians 7:24
This is the important consideration. When a person is converted, whatever he is doing, wherever he is, he is to remain in that position as long as he is free in his relationship to God. God must be first. “Therein abide with God.” If his situation will not permit God to be first, then he should change the situation, as the cocktail waitress did.
1 Corinthians 7:25
CONCERNING MARRIAGEABLE DAUGHTERSThe discussion for the remainder of this chapter is an answer to the second question which the Corinthians had asked Paul and is related to the first question. Remember that all this must be interpreted in the light of what Corinth was in Paul’s day, and then it can be applied to the day in which we live. Corinth was such a corrupt place, and manhood was corrupted there. When womanhood is corrupted, manhood will descend to a low levelthat has always been the story. So there was this question among Christian parents in Corinth: What should they do about their marriageable daughters? Before they were converted, their friends were drunken sots who went up to the temple of Aphrodite to the prostitutes there.
What should the single Christian girls do now? Paul will deal with this question. “Now concerning virgins"several of the translations have it: “Now concerning virgin daughters,” which I think clarifies it. That is really what he is talking about here. This reveals that Paul knew the commandments of the Lord Jesus Christ and what He taught. However, he specifically says here that concerning virgins he has no commandment of the Lord. “But,” he says, “I give my own judgment.” He is giving his opinion as a capable judge because he had obtained the mercy of God and he wanted to be faithful to God. In other words, he possessed the qualifications a judge should have as he had told them in chapter 6.
1 Corinthians 7:26
“The present distress” was that awful situation in Corinth which Paul knew was not going to continue. Someone asked me, “Do you think this excessive immorality and this lawlessness in our nation will continue?” If it does continue, my friend, it will bring down our houses and destroy our nationthen it will be ended for sure. Now what does he say? In the present distress, since you have come to Christ at such a difficult time, if you are bound to a wife, stay with her. If she is unsaved, stay with her as long as you can. If you are not married, then, because of the present distress with the tremendous immorality that is here, it would be best for you to remain single. Paul says this is his judgment.
1 Corinthians 7:28
Of course it is not sinful to marry. But the sea of matrimony is rough under the most favorable circumstances. He is trying to save them from much trouble. That reminds me of the country boy who was being married. The preacher said to him, “Wilt thou have this woman to be thy lawfully wedded wife?” The young fellow answered, “I wilt.” And I guess he did! In our day we are seeing the shipwreck of a growing number of marriageseven among Christians. The divorces in Southern California are now about equal in number to the marriages. That reveals we also have a “present distress.” Now Paul goes on to discuss other things with them, all in the light of the present distress, the shortness of time, the urgency and immediacy of the hour. He mentions five things which are necessary, which are inevitable, and which are the common experience of mankind in this world. He discusses marriage, sorrow, joy, commerce, and then relation to the world in general. Marriage is the first one he discusses. “Sure,” Paul says in effect, “It is all right to go ahead and marry, but remember that you will have trouble.” And they will. In counseling I have tried to tell young people that the romantic period will pass. When the first month’s rent comes due and there is not much money in the treasury, believe me, romance flies out the window.
1 Corinthians 7:29
Paul is saying that in spite of the stress of the times, they are to put God first. If you are married, can you act as if you are not married in that you put God first?
1 Corinthians 7:30
“And they that weep, as though they wept not.” Are you going to let some sorrow, some tragedy in your life keep you from serving God? “And they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not.” Are you going to let pleasure take the place of your relationship to God, as many do? “And they that buy, as though they possessed not.” Will you let your business take the place of God? Many a man has made business his god.
1 Corinthians 7:31
You and I are in the world, not of the world; but this doesn’t mean that we are to walk around with an attitude of touch not, taste not, handle not. We are to use this world. This past summer I made a trip up into the Northwest, and I stopped many times to look upon those glorious forests that they have up there. I used themthey blessed my heart. I enjoyed them. But I didn’t fall down and worship any one of those trees! We are to use the things of this world but not abuse them. We are not to substitute them for the Creator. “The fashion of this world passeth away.” Do the things of this life control your life, or does Christ control your life? This is what Paul is talking about. Now he goes back to a discussion of marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:32
Paul now gives some practical observations. The unmarried person doesn’t have to worry about changing the baby’s diapers or going out to buy food for the family. He or she can give his or her time to the things of God.
1 Corinthians 7:33
The married man tries to please his wife. This is normal and natural, and Paul is not saying it is wrong.
1 Corinthians 7:34
Paul is making it very clear that the important thing is to put God first. That should be the determining factor for every person in a marriage relationship. I don’t care who you are or how spiritual you think you may be, if you are not putting God first in your marriage, then your marriage, my friend, is not the ideal Christian marriage. He comes back to his judgment that the single person can attend upon the Lord without distraction.
1 Corinthians 7:39
That is, she is to marry another Christian, of course.
1 Corinthians 7:40
Paul makes it clear again that this is his judgment, his advice. The important thing is to serve God, to put God first in your life. If a person is married, God should still be first in his life. Unfortunately, there are many Christian couples who are compatiblethey are not going to the divorce courtbut God does not have first place in their marriage. In deciding your marital status, the most important consideration is not what your Christian friends will say or how society in general will regard you. The question you need to ask yourself is: In what way can I put God first in my life?