December 12

"Behold, I and the children whom the Lord hath given me are for signs and wonders in Israel."—Isaiah 8:18.

INDEED, my Christian life is an enigma to outsiders.

For I am in the world, and yet my love and home are far away. I am no ascetic nor recluse; but my "heart and brain move there," only my "feet stay here."

And I am haunted by sin, and nevertheless delivered from sin. It dogs my steps and dims my peace; but I am Christ's freeman still. In secret thought, in practice, in aspiration, I am among the saints.

And the smaller my burden grows, the more I feel its pressure. My heart is advancing in grace, through God's communion with me. But my conscience is learning more alertness. It condemns me oftener.

And I am weak, and yet I am strong. Weak to helplessness; apart from Him I can do nothing. But then, as I lean on Him, He endows me with a strength that will neither bend nor break.

And what crushes others lifts me higher. The affliction, against which they rebel, gives a new edge to my holiness, a new fervency to my prayers, a new breadth to my sympathy, a new brightness to my heaven.

And I am satisfied, and still I hunger. My Lord has been long time with me, but I scarcely know Him yet. I cry—

"Show me more love: a clouded face Strikes deeper than an angry blow."

And though I am glad to live, I shall be glad to die. Life is Christ's fellowship and Christ's service. But death is Christ's presence, Christ's throne, Christ's crown.

Beyond question, I am for a sign and a wonder.