Ephesians: Relinquish your claim

Let's turn to James chapter 4. Now I'm going to be sort of picking up where I left off earlier this morning and it may not be immediately apparent but I'm following on from what I took up last Lord's Day from Ephesians chapter 4 and I hope we'll get back to Ephesians 4 and into the little bit in Ephesians 5 if I can make the time slow down. So last Sunday as we were looking in the book of Ephesians we were noticing a number of expressions that had in love in them and recognizing that that is a fundamental emphasis of the Ephesian epistle. It's foundational to our spiritual lives.

If our lives are not being lived in love they are out of touch with God because he is love himself and so there's different aspects relating to that and so I was trying to emphasize last Sunday a little bit about this idea of honoring God's work both in ourselves and in others and part of that honoring I was touching on was learning how to listen to each other, steadfastly maintaining honesty in our relationships, in our communications, in our intentions, being genuine, being sincere. That's in the middle part of Ephesians 4. When you come down to the end of Ephesians it gets into dealing with anger, provocations and so on and then bitterness and so in picking up that aspect there's one key idea that I think runs through about three or four passages that I'm going to draw attention to and that is that we need to relinquish our claim. Now I hope this will become obvious what that means, relinquish our claim.

To relinquish something is to let it go, to hand it over into the control of someone else, to relinquish something and it's really relinquishing our claim to judgment, vengeance and so on on someone else. Now let's look at James chapter 4 and he and he touches on something very very significant here that all of us, I'm sure I don't suppose there's anybody that has escaped having trouble with this issue. James chapter 4 verse 11.

Speak not evil one of another brethren. He that speaks evil of his brother and judges his brother speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if thou judge the law thou art not a doer of the law but a judge.

There is one lawgiver who is able to save and to destroy. Who art thou that judgest another? Now as I have read this through the years there's sometimes I've almost had a little bit of irritation with James because James this is a classic case of what's called escalation. You know what escalation is? Where you have this little argument and it starts out as a very trivial thing that you that you argue back and forth about.

By the time you're done you're ready to murder somebody. It's it's a capital offense and and this really looks like this classic example of just taking a very insignificant thing and making it a major major capital offense. But as he traces the significance of what we're doing it is significant very important.

So what he is saying if you find yourself always speaking against somebody. Now I think I already made a confession about that last Sunday. There was one couple in particular over quite a number of years that I had a lot of resentment towards.

Not so much for what they had done against me but they had done it done things that have really hurt and harmed some that were close to me. Believers in the assembly there was there were believers who left the assembly because of their behavior and I really held it against them. And it became a pattern that I began to recognize in myself whenever their name came up.

I could not avoid saying something negative about them. I had to drag them down. So this is what he's talking about here.

Excuse me. To speak not evil usually is in the sense of slander. But sometimes it's not even necessarily slander but just negative.

They may have actually said that or may have done it but everybody doesn't have to be reminded of it over and over and over and over and over again. What are we doing when we do this? We are trying to bring judgment upon them. And this is the escalation that James says.

He says if you're doing this if you're speaking against your brother continually and notice what he says and judging your brother. So he brings this element in that you are trying to bring judgment upon that person in the court of human opinion. Here's what he says.

You're speaking evil of the law and judging the law. What does he mean by that? Basically what he's saying is he's saying that you are acting as if the law is not sufficient to deal with it. And he's talking about God's law and God's government.

He's saying you are actually saying the government isn't doing its job. I'm just putting it into sort of modern day language. And so I have to take matters into my own hands and bring this person to justice.

Now one thing I will acknowledge is that God has given to us as part of the image of God. He has given us a sense of justice. And it's not wrong for you to be angry at someone's evil.

There would be something wrong if you didn't have any anger about it. We ought to be angry at sin, unfairness, evil of any kind ought to make us upset. But we have to know our boundaries.

And so he says if you're speaking evil, you're judging and you're speaking evil of the law and judging the law. And if you're doing that, you're judging the law giver. And so he escalates it right to this again.

Like I said earlier this morning, everything that happens, everything that I say, everything that I do becomes an issue between me and God personally. Directly. The more that we realize that, the better off we will be.

And so he says, ultimately, he says there's one law giver who is able to save and to destroy. What he means is this. God will deal with this.

And God is able to deal with it. And he will do it according to what he considers suitable. He may choose to show mercy to somebody.

Well, actually, he did that to us, didn't he? He may choose to deal in wrath. He has the authority and the right to do it. Now, that links me back to Romans chapter 12.

We're very similar language, so I don't want to be too repetitious. But I think it's helpful to see how these passages harmonize with this emphasis. Romans chapter 12 from verse 17 down.

He says, recompense to no man or to no one evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath, for it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him.

If he thirst, give him drink. For in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of or by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Now, it's important to see where certain scriptures are in the context of the epistles in which they're written. The gospel is all about God overcoming sin, delivering from sin. And the first eight chapters show how he has cleared us from our guilt.

He has dealt with us judicially through the work of the death of the Lord on the cross. Romans 5, middle of the chapter through to the end of chapter 8 is how he delivers from sin as it works within us. So that's the evil that is in me and how we are to overcome that through the ministry of the Spirit of God and being submissive to the Spirit.

Now, when we come to this section of Romans, he's not so much dealing with evil in you, but evil in others. Evil in the world and its manifestations. And so that final conclusion, be not overcome by evil, is not your evil, it's somebody else's evil, but overcome evil with good.

And that is the, again, the manifestation of the grace of God in this evil world. And so he says in verse 17, recompense to no man evil for evil. Do not pay back, recompense evil according to their evil.

In contrast, he says, provide things honest in the sight of all men. Now, what does that mean? Well, other translations will suggest act honorably, act honorably in the sight of all men. Now, if there's one thing that we tend to fail in is if somebody treats us in an unfair way, an unjust way, or they're just maybe, maybe they just hate us.

And this could be an unsaved person, it could be a fellow Christian. It's very difficult to care about them and commending yourself in their conscience, but that's what he's asking us to do. Provide things honest or honorable in the sight of.

It's how you appear in their eyes. As I said, it's the last thing we tend to care about. I couldn't care less what he thinks of me.

Well, you should, because it matters. Because ultimately, God in this time of his grace wants to break down the hatred of men against himself, and he wants to reconcile them to himself. He wants to overcome evil with good, with his grace.

And then he says, if it be possible, as much as lies in you, or as much as it depends upon you and your responsibility in the situation, you live peaceably with all people. Now, that may mean that we may have to avoid people who only want to stir up trouble, stir up strife, stir up argument. They're always, they've got a chip on their shoulder, and they always want to bring a dig in.

It's better to walk away, if you need to. But he says, as much as is in your responsibility. It doesn't just mean, you know, as long as you can hold on to your anger, hold on to it, and then when you can't anymore, just let her go.

That's not what he's saying. As much as lies in you, as much as rests on your responsibility, you be peaceable. You don't seek conflict and confrontation and pouring out wrath upon them, but you seek peace.

And then he says, dearly beloved, this is a very strong, tender appeal. I appeal to you, he's saying, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath. Now, if you didn't read any further than that, you'd think this is asking us to just become doormats.

If somebody wants to treat us harshly, cruelly, they just sit there and take it and don't answer back and just let them mull you. This is not talking about their wrath. If you follow carefully, the next phrase, it's God's wrath.

The more that we could be conscious that God is with us in these circumstances, that God is present, the more we will have the strength to act as he is asking us to. Here's what he says, dearly beloved, avenge not yourself. You don't take the assault and carry out this vengeance.

You step aside. This is what it's asking you to do. Give place is you step aside and let the living God take over.

And if you go back to the Old Testament where this is quoted from, it'll be even more obvious that that's the connection. For it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay, saith the Lord, the eternal God.

What is this really telling us? This is a very gentle reminder to us as Christians that not only are we subject to the sovereignty of God, but he is the sovereign of the universe. He is the ultimate Lord, the ultimate king. He is the ultimate judge.

And he knows that there's a lot going on in our world that is not right. And he is willing to accept ultimate responsibility for what he allows to go on. I want to be very careful in saying that.

That doesn't mean that God is indifferent to evil, but that God will deal with evil in his own time on his terms in his own way. And one of the things I have often reminded Christians who are struggling with this, God has a long time to balance the scales. He is all eternity.

It would be a shame for me to lose reward in his eternal kingdom by me thinking that I have to deal with this and bring justice and make that person pay for what they have failed me in or they have done against me or whatever. When God says, I'm going to take care of it, vengeance, this issue of vengeance, he says, that's mine to take care of. And so it's actually a scary thing to take God's place, to act as if on his behalf, because that's what we're really presuming to do when we carry out vengeance.

We are presuming to act upon God's behalf. And he's saying, just leave it to me. I will repay, says the Lord.

And this covers a lot of ground, doesn't it? A lot of life. Now, I realize that this does not answer the necessity of, in assembly, there's a government of God. There are procedures, there are principles of judgment that he commands assemblies to enforce.

And those who are overseers in the assembly have a responsibility in that regard. And sometimes it's in those kind of situations where we have the greatest grief, because men are not always wise. They're not always fair.

They're not always just in their judgment, even in assembly, let alone other places. I am not a naive person. I have seen a lot through years of experience in assembly life among believers.

And there are believers who have suffered very tragically at the hands of fellow believers. But ultimately, for ourselves personally, this is where we must come to a point of rest. He says, give place.

I'll take care of this. Now, it doesn't mean he wants to push us aside, but he wants us to step aside. And he will deal with it.

So that's a very important passage. And then the idea that follows that is that if we are willing to relinquish this, this is where we come back to this idea of relinquishing it, where we surrender our right of vengeance to his hand and his power, then we can focus on fulfilling what he has given us the mandate for today in the day of grace, is that we would live out his costly grace. He says, so if your enemy is hungry, well, go and feed him.

If he's hungry, if he's thirsty, well, give him a drink. And in doing so, you will heap coals of fire on his head. Now, I don't know if you, I'm sure we all have a guess or an opinion as to what this means.

I think it really belongs in the nomadic culture of the desert, where these two things, or three things really, food, water, and fire are the essentials of life. This putting coals of fire on someone's head is not in judgment, as far as I can see. It's actually in mercy.

It is providing for this person the necessity of life. You may save their life by giving them the food they need, the water they need, or the fire they need to be able to make a fire the next night, and so on. And so this is this idea, and again, this is quoted from the Proverbs, and if you go back into the Proverbs where this is quoted from, it says, and the Lord will reward you.

So it's in a very positive sense, not a judgment sense. Let's go to Ephesians chapter 4 then. So in Ephesians chapter 4, I think this is where it comes, and for myself personally, this is where I have had the most detrimental effect in my own mind over different times in my life, where I have had trouble overcoming.

In Ephesians chapter 4, he says in verse 30, well verse 29, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby you are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice, and be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake or in Christ has forgiven you.

Now the next two verses also link with this, be ye therefore followers or imitators of God as dear children, and walk in love as Christ also has loved us and has given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor. Now when I was a young Christian, I had a certain issue with another believer that almost destroyed my life. It was very early in my marriage, and I remember my wife saying to somebody about a year after we were married, this is not the man that I married.

I had become a very, very angry, resentful, bitter person, and it began to corrode even my relationship with my wife. And that's the problem with holding anger, resentment, it becomes bitterness, and it can even become malice. Bitterness is where you blame somebody else for your circumstances, for what's overtaken place in your life, or in somebody else's life that you care about, and malice is when you choose to act with that person or towards that person in a way to actually destroy them, where you deliberately choose to bring that person down.

And so these are very, very strong, powerful things within us, and the challenge given here is don't let it happen. Get rid of it. It could be worth your life.

I know too many believers my age who have been basically sidelined in their own spiritual lives. A brother who is no longer in an assembly because he has been sidelined by this problem, where he could not overcome what somebody did in the assembly to somebody else, and it wasn't dealt with properly, it wasn't handled well, and the issue went on and on and on and on, and he withdrew from the oversight over it, and then eventually felt so isolated that he withdrew from the assembly, and that's been going on for a few years now. And it's tragic because he has a lot of blessing and help that he could be to that assembly.

The assembly is suffering because of the lack of his presence and his help, and if I could just bring you back into Ephesians 4 a little bit, just remember that the context, the overall context, is that we are all needed in the body of Christ, and if one is disabled through one way, one is disabled by another way, the whole body suffers. There's a loss, there's a damage, there's a weakness resulting, and so it's not just for my own sake, but it's also for the sake of everyone else around me that I must overcome these things which could destroy my life and cause me to be a destructive influence to others. And so don't let any corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.

Guard what you say, guard what you express, what you convey to someone and about someone, but only what is useful for edifying, building up, that it may minister grace or strength. And right in the middle of all that he says, grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby you are sealed to the day of redemption. Now this is a very important verse that again links us back, chapter 1 to chapter 4 to chapter 5. The Spirit of God is the earnest of the inheritance.

The Spirit of God is the one who's going to lead you into the blessing, the ultimate blessing of all that God has for you. And so you don't want to be on the wrong side of the Spirit of God. You don't want to be fighting against what he is working at in you and through you to others.

And so he says, don't grieve the Spirit of God. And so basically in the context here, it's emphasizing don't let yourself become as an enemy to someone, another believer, but as someone in whom the Spirit of God is working to be a blessing, not only to you, but to that person as well. So one of the things that helps me is when I remember that just as the Spirit of God is committed to my blessing, committed to my well-being, committed to my perfection ultimately, so he is to you.

And so I must work with God in harmony with that. And so then the last two verses, he says if you're not going to, if you're going to avoid grieving the Spirit, you're going to have to get rid of these things. Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking, and with malice.

Now I hardly have time to really cover these. This was helpful to me personally, so perhaps it could be helpful to you as well. A long time ago when I was struggling with this as a young Christian, I read some help from a Christian marriage counselor, and I forget now the name of the book even, but basically it was about overcoming bitterness and being able to to forgive another person.

And one of the key things that he emphasized was that it doesn't require renewed effort. Most of us have tried over and over and over again to get over certain things, and then it keeps coming back, keeps coming back over and over again until we get so sick of it. He says it's not renewed effort you need, it's renewed thinking, which means changing your perspective, seeing it in a new light.

And so there's basically three great realities. It really is actually bringing God into the picture in all that he is. And I don't want to just give you three little headings, but I am going to do that because they're just little anchors to hopefully help you to meditate on it.

Three things to remember. Now they revolve around three great things about God. That God, first of all, is just.

He is the judge, and he is just. Secondly, that God is sovereign. And then finally, that God is good.

Someone has well said that everything that we know about God fits in in those three categories. God is just. God is sovereign.

God is good. And so the first one thing to remember is to remember that whatever it was, whatever is involved in your circumstance that could affect you, remember that God was there too. And that he understands it all perfectly.

And if there's judging to be done, he is well able to fulfill that. And I've already read Romans 12 and 21, but I love to link the life of Joseph with this because Joseph is such a wonderful example of someone upon whom the pleasure of God was focused, the purposes of God were focused. God was going to use Joseph, and he was going to bless Joseph.

But Joseph had a lot against him, a lot that could have, and you would say naturally, should have destroyed him. And you just have to think about what happened in his family. How could you ever get over your own brothers wanting to kill you, and then deciding as a, you know, a second best thing to do to get rid of them, just sell them, make money off them, and sell them into slavery? How could you ever get over that? How could you ever get over being slandered by a woman who wants to seduce you, and then slanders you, and has you thrown into prison? How can you ever get over that, to be an innocent person, and yet to have this terrible crime put over your head? Who would have understood, or who would have thought that the dungeon was just the waiting room for the throne, and that God was with him all through those circumstances? And so we have that expression, the Lord was with Joseph.

And so the point that I want to establish in this first principle, in remembering that God was there, and that he's the one to judge, is that that person, or persons, is in God's hand for all issues of judgment. This again is that all-important idea of relinquishing. That person is in God's hands for issues of judgment, and God is just.

And the second thing to remember is that God is for you. He's always for you, and he always will be for you. And that's, of course, Romans 8, 28 to 31.

And then in the boundaries of the sovereign God, who has chosen to bless you, and to carry you through life into eternity, and to bless you exceedingly, just remember that there's nothing, there's nothing that can happen to you that God is not working in and through towards your ultimate blessing. Joseph, again, is a prime example of this. God used those very steps that seem so destructive, so unfair, unjust, they were totally unfair, to be the steps by which he ultimately ended up in charge of Egypt.

And so the issue here is that you are in God's hand for blessing. You are in God's hand for blessing, very similar to 1 Peter chapter 3 that we were already noticing this morning. So if you can remember that that person is in God's hand for judgment, you are in God's hand for blessing, and this is his sovereignty.

The third one is found really in verse 32 of our chapter, to remember that you also deserve judgment from God. But he has chosen to be gracious toward you, and so the emphasis here is the goodness and the grace of God. Let me just notice a couple of expressions here in verse 32, where he says, be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another.

Now that word forgiving here is not the usual word to forgive. The verb here means to act graciously towards. So again, it's not so much an act of forgiveness as a choice to act graciously, kindly towards that person, despite what they have done.

Even as God in Christ has forgiven you. So he's putting quite a strong lever upon us, that even as God in Christ. And so here is another key idea.

God deals with me for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ. So God has a reason to care about me and to act graciously towards me, even when I don't deserve it, because I'm part of the body of Christ, and I am to be for his glory and honor forever and ever. And so God has a better reason to love me and to care for me and to see me through than just me.

He has the honor, the blessing, the glory of his Son. And so that's how the chapter ends, and so I want to just leave you with the first two verses of chapter five, where he says, be therefore imitators of God. Take God as your model.

Be an imitator of God as dear children, just like little children. It's always very cute, isn't it, to see a little boy or little girl just imitating mom or dad, just doing whatever. And you see this so often, a little fellow, he'll want to be right with daddy.

Whatever daddy's doing, that's where he wants to be, and he starts doing just what daddy does and all the rest of it, imitating him. Well, imitation is the best flattery, isn't it? And so let's show how much we think of God, how we value him, how we honor him by acting as he acts. And then he says, and walk in love as Christ also has loved us and has given himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor.

Now there's a lot in that verse as well. There's just one principle that I want to emphasize, and again this is where often we fall down, we lose our strength, we lose our will to keep going, because we get discouraged by the response of other people to us. You ever got tired serving the Lord's people? They just don't seem worth it anymore? Well, notice what it says here.

He says, you walk in love. You walk in the element of love, seeking their blessing, even as or as Christ also has loved us and has given himself for us. Well, that's pretty all out, sacrificially, just giving his life for us.

But that's not where it ends. He has given himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor. So what it's really saying is that the Lord Jesus, in giving himself for us, was really doing it for the Father.

Out of the devotion of his love for the Father, he gave himself for us. Yes, he loved us, and we can revel in that, but he had a higher motivation than even us as the object of his love. It was that he might delight the heart of God.

And so, again, if we can just bring this back to ourselves, keep going on for the Lord, keep walking in love, keep serving the Lord's people, and you will delight the heart of your God. Let's pray. Our Father, we are conscious that we are so easily dragged down, we are so easily distracted, sometimes by sin within ourselves, but also, at other times, by the failure in other people.

And we pray that we might be able to overcome this and to reset our own focus and to restore our own strength according to the gracious power of thy Spirit within us. Help us to have a renewed thinking that we will not allow things that have been done that have grieved us to destroy us, but rather that we will see the overcoming power of thy goodness and thy love, of thy Spirit in our lives. We ask thee for this.

We know that there is a day of glory, a day of perfection, a day of revelation and honor, and we pray that we might be pleasing to thee now and that thou would be able to reward us. For how we've responded to thy Spirit in the present time, we pray for thy blessing upon this series of gospel meetings. We think of the young children, how precious they are.

We would long that they would be saved before they become so affected by the world around them. We cast this upon thee. We cry to thee for thy help.

We would also pray for those who have come out and could be interested. We beseech thee for this in our Savior's precious name. Amen.