Paul Says To Live As If You Have No Wife

Well, at the church, I know at our church today we've got some people who are engaged to get married, right? We've got a lot of married couples as well in the church. What do you think Paul has for you? What do you know the false apostles or these other teachers at Corinth had for the believers at Corinth? And this is not what I'm going to teach you on today because this is false, but this helps to know the context. 1 Corinthians 7, look at verse 1. Paul says, concerning the matters about which you wrote.

And so, they had questions. They had different things they were being taught at this church. And Paul is responding to them and look at this first statement.

This shows the situation that they were in. They were saying it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. And before you think, well, that's just, they were forbidding fornication.

No, no, that's not the point. They were saying it was good for a married man to not have relations with his own wife. And you can see that from how Paul goes on in verse 2. And he says each man should have his own wife.

And the should have doesn't mean get married to, but meaning have intimacy with his own wife. And each woman should have her own husband. And then he makes it even clearer in verse 3. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband.

And so Paul is correcting misunderstanding, not just misunderstanding, false teaching. That was being shared at this church at Corinth. And it made the married couple feel as if intimacy, it's wrong.

We shouldn't be having intimacy. It made some married couples, especially where he had the believer, or the husband, let's say, was a Christian and the wife was an unbeliever. It had that husband feeling like, I've got to divorce my wife.

I can't even be married to her. And then you had engaged couples thinking, it's a sin if we go and get married. If we shouldn't even be having intimacy, why should we even get married at all? And so in this chapter, Paul, he seeks to deal with those three situations and other situations.

And thankfully for this church, they had the apostle deal with this asceticism that was coming into the church. And asceticism in a simple way is just teaching that if you avoid normal parts of life, it could make you more holy and closer to God. And that's what you and I want this morning.

We want to be closer to God. It's interesting, a church where the Spirit of God is working in a supernatural way can have wrong ideas of how to get closer to God in or into their midst. And it becomes widely acceptable at that church.

So that's obviously a warning for us here. It could happen without us recognizing it. It looks like it's holy, right? That's what Colossians says.

These things of do not handle, do not touch, and don't do this, don't do that has the appearance of holiness, of stopping the indulgence of the flesh. But it doesn't. So Paul, he goes on throughout this chapter dealing with these different matters, letting them know it is okay for you to get married.

And even in verse 5, he says don't deprive your spouse of sexual intimacy except perhaps by agreement for a limited time. And if they do deprive themselves of this, what does he say? Satan may tempt one of those spouses in verse 5. And so you can see, Paul's really dealing with this in a good way, a strong way. Now, Paul, if you know Paul, is Paul just going to go to a church and correct all the false views and just kind of leave it at that? You know, I dealt with all the errors that were happening and then he just stops right there? No.

No, Paul is going to give a very positive teaching. He's going to give a big idea in the midst of this chapter that we don't want to miss. He brings in a big picture perspective for every one of us on how we should think and operate in the world.

And that's what I want to consider from further on in this chapter. I want to consider the topic of the Christian's relationship to this passing world. And this is for all of us.

If you're single, if you're married, this is something every single one of us needs to consider. We have a heart. We're alive.

This is something we've got to take to heart. And Paul goes on from correcting these false ideas that are being spread within the church and he almost says something. That if you read this statement, that's a true statement that Paul makes.

If you read this statement as a new Christian, you'd almost think Paul was quoting something that the false apostles were teaching. You'd almost take it that way. And look at that in verse 29.

We're going to look at the context here, but look at this statement right here. This is what I mean, brothers. The appointed time has grown very short.

And this is Paul talking. From now on, let those who have wives, so a married person, live as though they had done. So Paul says, let a married person live as if they're not married.

And yeah, he doesn't stop dealing just with the topic of marriage. He's thinking about a whole perspective on us in this world. And he basically mentions five categories right there.

In verse 30, those who mourn as though they were not mourning. And those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing. And those who buy as though they had no goods.

And then verse 31, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. So that's where we're going to head.

We're going to get to verse 29. And I got to verse... Well, I want to explain why I got to this point. There's a verse here, devotionally, and another version that was translated in a certain way that really perked my interest.

And then, you know, you start studying the context, and sometimes you find out the verse that perked your interest maybe didn't exactly mean what you thought it meant once you examined the context further. But yeah, if you heard that as a new Christian, if someone said, in marriage counseling with you perhaps, they said to you, if I said to you, if I'm counseling your marriage, and it's good to see that Davis is here this morning, and I say, Caleb, you need to live as though you have no wife. Now if I don't add some interpretation or some explanation there, it kind of puts you in a... It sounds like something the false teachers would say.

And I love Paul's balance. Paul is seeking to not overcorrect a church and have them swing too far in some direction where marriage then ultimately becomes the big deal as he corrects these different false views. And so we're going to consider right now, kind of in a running... I felt like the best way to put this forward was kind of run through the passage starting in verse 26.

And I'm taking an interpretation of this passage that Gordon Fee puts forward in his commentary on 1 Corinthians. And he's not the only one. Many would take this view.

And they argue that verses 29... Now verses 25 and 26, 27, 28 do set up verse 29. But they argue that verse 29 to 35 are Paul digressing from the specific topic of marriage to explain the Christian's relationship to the world. And he's giving a big idea there for all Christians, whatever your marital status.

And that big idea is to remain free from anxiety and concern and live totally devoted to the Lord, not overly rooted in this world. And if you look at verse 29, he starts by saying, this is what I mean. And he goes on throughout this passage giving different explanations.

And then he ends in verse 35 saying, I say this. And so I believe the this is referring to everything he said starting in verse 29 and on. So we're going to consider this context right here.

So let's start 1 Corinthians 7. Let's start reading in verse 26. I think that in view of the present distress, and obviously right when you read the present distress, it gets you understanding there's some sort of context by which these words are being spoken. And the context the words are spoken matters in order to understand what the words they are themselves.

I think in view of the present distress, it's good for a person to remain as he is. And he explains what he means. Remain as he is in verse 27.

Are you bound to a wife? Don't seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. Verse 28, if you marry, you've not sinned.

So all those engaged, there you've got it. If you marry, you don't sin. Alright, praise God, right? And if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned.

Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles and I would spare you of that. And then we get to verse 29. And so this present distress, I'm going to define that for you the way I believe Paul does further on in the context.

But it can be helpful to know a better translation of the phrase present distress is a present compelling obligation. Paul is saying there is a present compelling, it's not just a present obligation, something he needs to do, something bearing on him, but it is a present compelling obligation. A pressing duty could be how it is translated.

In view of the pressing duty, and this isn't just something for Paul, because whatever this pressing duty is, he's been bringing it out for everyone. There's a necessity to do something. I could almost picture it.

It's like he's saying, look at the watch. Look at what time it is. You know that happens, right? You're living life, and then all of a sudden, whoa, I did not recognize the time it was.

And there's a compelling obligation. There's something you've got to go and do. And so now, your existence, wherever you're at, whatever you're engaged in, has now started to shift.

Your mind is somewhere else as you've looked at the watch and you've realized I have a compelling obligation, I have something that is coming, I've got somewhere that I've got to be. I've got a real necessity in my life, a pressing matter. Paul's saying look at the time.

Wait, where did Paul run off to? Why the urgency? Notice v. 28. He's still answering how it is good for a person to remain as he is. And he says it's okay to be married.

And he mentions those who marry will have worldly troubles. And then notice this. He says, I would spare you that.

Now I think you could say, oh, he's saying don't get married and you'll be spared of the worldly troubles. No. I think as we go on, that's not what Paul's saying here.

Because you already saw, he says what to the married? To live as if they had no spouse. To live with a certain degree of detachment from the world. And he's calling the married and the single both to that reality.

And you've got to remember here, the things Paul's sharing in this chapter, there's different things here that people will rightly say Paul's describing the way things are at the church. And he's trying to bring them into another sphere. He's trying to take them out of a certain thinking.

And so as you read all of these statements Paul's making here, don't just look at all this, oh, that's a positive thing and that's just the reality of how it is. No, Paul is describing the current thinking and the way it is in this church and he's trying to bring them somewhere else. So Paul, he says it here, I want to spare you from worldly troubles.

And you could say, oh, don't get married, you'll be spared from worldly troubles. No, he gives the answer later on. Even a married person can be spared from worldly troubles by living as if they have no spouse.

And I still have to interpret and define some of that. But you see where we're going. So it's right at this point.

As I mentioned, the reader often thinks Paul is solely saying don't get married and you'll be spared worldly troubles. And if we stopped reading right there, I think we would end up coming to that conclusion. But Paul describes how a married person is spared from worldly troubles and anxiety and it's going to go back to this topic, the believer's relationship and way of thinking in this world.

That's the bigger issue for Paul in these verses. That's the bigger issue for Paul. So verse 29, again, Paul looks at his watch.

The appointed time has grown very short. You're in the last chapter of the book. Time is growing short.

Now in verse 29 to 31, Paul shows us this mindset to have. And he says, this is what I mean. You want to be spared from worldly troubles? You don't want to be anxious? This is what I mean, brothers.

The appointed time has grown very short. And he still has yet to as clearly describe what he's referring to. At this point, you're reading it and you might think, oh, is it some idea? You know, the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 AD and they made comments about it's better to not be a nursing mother in that day because then you have to flee while you're nursing.

I mean, is that what's on Paul's mind? Is Paul thinking about there's persecution coming and because of persecution, it's probably not best to get married right now? We're going to find out that's not what Paul is thinking about in a moment. It's not about upcoming persecution. It's about something else that's up and coming.

Not persecution, but an up and coming existence for you and I in another realm. A realm that is more real than anything that we are experiencing right now in this life. A realm in which the Sadducees had to find out there ain't going to be any marriage there.

They thought, well, who's going to marry this person? Who's going to have them as the spouse? There's no marriage there. You see, there's another realm coming. A greater reality and an existence.

So, in v. 29-31, those who have wives live as though they had none. And he gives these five illustrations, these five categories, on how we interact with this world as though we were not. And Paul is basically saying, don't be wedded to the world.

Don't sink your roots in too deep. Okay, we're going to explore this a little more. I'm going to explain it a little more.

Interpret that in a minute, okay? So bear with me. Now, I want to now look as he goes on. We're going to find out what the present distress is.

What the present distress is. V. 31, those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. Look what Paul says here.

For the present form of this world is passing away. So there's a compelling obligation. The time is short.

And then Paul says it in this way. I take it he's talking about the same thing. He's given the motivation for this type of thinking.

And his motivation isn't up-and-coming persecution. His motivation for this type of thinking, he reveals, it's this world is passing away. This world is passing away.

So there's an up-and-coming existence. That's the final existence. And he calls us to look at our relationships, our joys, our sorrows, our possessions, and view them in view of this.

And remember, for Paul and Christ, the last days began at Pentecost and this critical event of Christ's arrival has happened. You realize, we are living in a time where the critical event in history of Christ's arrival and His accomplishing the work on Calvary, it has happened. And guess what that means is ever before us.

His second coming is ever before us. And the current state of this world is no longer secure. When you're living in the old, and you have all these prophecies about something to come in this life, and it hasn't come, you don't get to sense you're in the last chapter yet.

But once you read that chapter, and you read about what Christ has come, even though it's been 2,000 years, the Bible speaks about it in a way that the end is ever near. The world is no longer secure. We have before us a certain realm of existence that Paul, I remind you, said he desired to depart and be in that realm.

Because what did he say? That realm is what? Far better. So your life, my life, we have some uncertain limited time, and we're ultimately citizens of where? Your citizenship is in heaven. Think about the watch, right? What's John say? You're in the last hour.

Yeah, the length isn't determined. I don't know how long it's going to be. Is it going to be another 1,000 years? So he's calling us to have the mindset of Colossians 3.1. Set your mind on things above, not on things on earth.

One commentator, he says, God's salvation, deed, and Christ, it doesn't translate the believer out of the world, but establishes a new relationship between man and his world. You see, and that's what Paul's elaborating on. In verses 29 and 31, he is showing a mindset of how you and I need to live in this world.

Now, we're going to keep going for a moment in this passage into v. 32, because as I said, v. 35, he says, I say this. Many take the this as referring to everything he has said from v. 29. The this is what I mean in v. 29.

And then in v. 35, I say this. That's basically these two bookends right here. V. 35, I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Now when you read v. 35, you know how I would always take it. You know how I took it? I took it, he was saying, if you don't get married. Because he just talked about the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

And he's saying all of that. And if you just take the this to refer to those verses, then okay, I see how you could understand that. But those who know Greek will argue the this is referring to everything up to v. 29.

So read it in this way. V. 35, I say this, live as if you have no wife, possessive if you do not possess. That mindset in v. 29.

V. 31, I say these things for your own benefit. Clearly, I'm not laying any restraint on you. Get married or don't get married.

But I want to promote good order by giving you this mindset of how you should approach living in this world with a detachment and not being wedded to this world. And then he says that will secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. I don't believe his statement of securing undivided devotion to the Lord is something just for the single people.

If you take it to be it's just for the single people, then that means the married people... well, bummer, because we got married, I can't have undivided devotion to the Lord. But Paul just gave a mindset v. earlier saying I should live as if I have no wife. I should live with a detachment to the world.

Because this isn't the final existence. And marriage is a temporary reality. Another thing to consider here.

Look at v. 32. I want you to be free from anxiety. Paul desires you to be free from anxiety.

And you know what? There's arguments on how then to take the next verse. One possibility is this. When he says, and this would make sense in the context, right? And we interpret Scripture from its context.

But some take when he says the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord, they don't take that as a commendable statement. You see, you read that, you think, oh, this is a good type of anxiety. Paul just said I want you free of anxiety.

So some take all the following statements not being commendations, but actually a mindset that entered into the church because of asceticism. Because if we started hammering on law and emphasizing all manner of creating standards even that are unbiblical, you know what that creates in your life? It doesn't create apparent holiness. It creates anxiety with everything you're doing.

Oh, I've got to go do this now. I've got to go do this now. You end up becoming paralyzed.

It doesn't ultimately help you. Now, there's arguments on why you should take that as Paul's actually talking about a different type of concern because the word anxiety can be rendered the word concern. And clearly, Paul's not saying there are not more concerns for the married person.

Right? If you're married and you have six kids like I do, I've got more concerns about things related to the attachments on earth than you who are single. You would agree with that, right? Paul's not saying that that's not true. But Paul is desiring that you and that me both have a mindset of how we view this world as passing away.

That we don't dig our roots too deeply here. He wants us to have an eternal mindset that makes you live on earth as if it's not your final destination. I don't believe Paul's answer here is don't get married.

It is that the single and the married must live as people who realize the earth is passing away. And if you don't live in that way, I as a married person can get a whole lot more done living with the right mindset than a single person who's living for their own selfishness. Now, devotionally, in verse 35, listen how this is rendered.

I'm saying this for your own benefit, not to place a limitation on you, but so that without distraction, you may give notable and constant service to the Lord. You may give notable and constant service to the Lord. And I thought, wow, what a thing.

Notable service. You know? Noteworthy. Don't you and I want to do something noteworthy with our lives? Don't we want to have notable service unto the Lord? Don't we want to be, yes, constant in our service to the Lord? And again, I don't believe Paul's saying that's just for the single person.

No, that's for us married people too. If we view correctly our marriage in all those five categories of this earth and we handle those in a right way, we have them, but we have them as if we don't have them because it's all temporary, then Paul's saying you can have that. That's the motivation I'm trying to secure.

That's the type of thinking I'm wanting to secure. You live out v. 29-31, then you will have secured undivided devotion to the Lord, whether you're married or whether you're single. So that's how many take this whole section.

And I think there's very good reasons for doing so. I don't think I should look at v. 35 and say, well, he's talking about the married are anxious and the single, they're all about pleasing the Lord and so I just can't be as much about pleasing God because I'm married. No, no.

So Paul doesn't restrict or limit you in the area of marriage. You know what he does? He does put restrictions on you. Paul puts a limit on every one of us.

It's your relationship with this world. How's that relationship going? Do you sorrow as if this is the ultimate reality? Do you buy and possess as if this is your ultimate place of dwelling? Do you marry as if that is the great purpose in life? Now, I've married. I've found the great satisfaction.

You won't find that satisfaction in joy in this world, in marriage in this world. You won't find it in possessions in this world. This is all temporary.

So if you want to live a life that's noteworthy, look at your watch. This world is passing away. It's going to be gone.

It's going to be gone. Paul in no way forbids trade more than he forbids marriage. He allows both under the same condition that you and I are not absorbed by these realities.

That's what he doesn't want. He doesn't want you and I getting absorbed with this world. And so apply this mindset in all of life.

We're involved, but we're not involved. Right? You're involved, but you're not involved. One commentary says, now here's my real view.

He says that's what Paul's doing here. He's saying in the midst of correcting all these errors, he's not going to get out of this chapter without saying to them, look, here's my real view. You want to know what I think about marriage? You want to know what I think about singleness? Here's my real view.

The most essential thing I have to declare to you. What is of importance is not marrying or not marrying, but it's a habit of the soul. That's the most important thing in Paul's mind.

Having a soul that has a secured devotion on the Lord. And honestly, it goes right with those previous two sermons we just heard about not being anxious. I mean, he says right there, I want you to be free from anxiety.

Paul's doing the same thing here. Look, if I'm living for this world, as things get stripped away, I'm going to be anxious because my hopes are on those things. But if my hopes are in another world, things get stripped away in this world and I don't get anxious because it wasn't my ultimate hope.

I had it, but I didn't have it. John Piper, he says, so be married, yes, mourn, yes, rejoice, buy and deal with the world with a certain detachment. Because this is a fragile, short-lived world.

Those are very striking and strange descriptions of how to live. Live in the world as though you are not in the world. Be married as though you are not married.

Cry as though you are not crying. Be happy as though you are not being happy. That's really strange.

And it's just telling us, don't sink your roots too deep here in this world, whether it's happy or whether it is sad. And I thought one way to illustrate this, imagine an employee, right? You've been in a company. You've been dedicated in this company for years and years and years.

And then you put, you're going to have a transfer to another company. A new opportunity that aligns more, to use the corporate language, with your ultimate career goals. I hope that's what it is for you in this life, right? What's your ultimate career goal as a Christian? To depart and be with Christ, which is far better, right? And to take as many as we can with us.

So you submit your two-week notice. Paul's saying that. Aren't your two weeks put in? Did you put your two weeks in yet? When you followed the Lord, and you happen to follow Him in a time after the coming of Christ, where we're constantly living in this reality of the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ, and that, yes, time is brief, life is a vapor, it's a hand breath.

Even if Christ doesn't come in your life, your own personal second coming of Christ is going to be your death and facing Him then. Did we put our two weeks in and then we decide to, you know, stay with the company for those two weeks and live as if we're going to be there for the next ten years? No, upon submitting your two-week notice, your perspective has changed dramatically. Do you still continue to perform your duties with integrity and commitment? When you put your two weeks in at your job, do you still seek to be the best employee you can? Yeah.

Right? When you put your two weeks in and you're following Christ, and you're ready to get out of this existence, do you still be the best husband you can possibly be? Yes. Are you still going to end up possessing things in this life? Yes. But you're doing it all knowing in just a matter of two weeks, I'm gone.

I'm going to a better place. I'm going to every task, every interaction and goal. I now see it through this lens.

There's an impending change here. When things go wrong at the company that I put my two weeks in for, I'm not as distraught, because it's not my ultimate dwelling. There's a transfer that's going to happen.

So our citizenship, brethren, it's in heaven. That's our real retirement plan. It goes far beyond any earthly benefits.

And we want to be all out faithful now, even with those two weeks put in. And you could say, you know, this is easy to apply when it comes to suffering and hardship, right? I'm glad. You know, I suffer.

I'm glad to remember, oh, I'm glad I already put my two weeks in and I'm going to be with Christ before I know it in view of eternity, right? That's easy to think that way of suffering, but what about the blessings? What about the rejoicing? Paul puts what we rejoice in into check. He says to rejoice, but not to do it as rejoicing, and he puts marriage a blessing into that situation. Paul's saying, your marriage is momentary.

It's a temporary thing here that God has. The false apostles, they had it all wrong. They tried to remove us from the world and said, don't marry.

Paul, he doesn't do that. Paul says marriage is better for some and singleness is better for some, but both need to live as though not, because for most of your existence, it won't matter whether you're married or single. What will matter is, was your devotion to Christ secure as you walked through this world? Is your heart securely fixed on being pleasing to the Lord? Yes, single or married in every context of life, everything that you face, is your heart secure? That's what Paul wants.

And you know how Paul gets the heart secure? He gets the mind thinking correctly. You have a renewed mind in how you think and you think in a deeper way biblically, then it will affect your heart. A believer is going to use these things, provided it's constantly in a spirit which is master of itself, detached from everything, looking to Christ.

You know what? When you're lost, you kind of regard the world as just indefinite. I'm going to live forever. There's no future hope.

There's no future grace. There's no heaven. It's just living everything right here, right now.

And so Paul's implying that previously people viewed the future as distant or unreal, but when Christ came, it's as though time has now been compressed. Time's been compressed. The world is passing away.

The future is near and visible. And you could say, well, yeah, but Jesus would set aside the idea of the nearness of His coming, right? He would set aside the idea that His coming was near. That's true.

But it wouldn't keep Him or others from saying statements like this, Luke 12, be like men who are waiting for their Master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to Him at once when He comes and knocks. Doesn't that put you in a place where you're living with a real sense of urgency about the things of God? So, Paul desires that by the end of the Corinthians reading this letter, get this, that husbands are not just saying after they've read Ephesians, well, I want to love my wife more as Christ loved the church. But husbands are saying I want to live more like I don't have a wife.

I want to live now possessing, but not possessing. Isn't that a strange way to talk? But when rightly stated, it reveals someone is saying I am detached from this world. And you know what? Your wife should be okay with that reality and vice versa.

It's interesting how out of the abundance of people's hearts, their mouths speak, right? That's what Jesus taught. And there's times you hear people, and I'm not saying I've heard this from anyone here, but there's times you hear people say statements about their kids or their marriage where it almost sounds like it is their life. And I just feel a check, like maybe they don't know what they're saying.

But if you took what they're saying literally, they're saying my family, my marriage, this is all more important than Christ. We can easily start getting our heart too attached to these things. And so Paul, he wants the wife of the husband who grows in the area to rejoice and not see him as saying anything wrong.

Could a husband take any verse and butcher it and say something that it's not meant to say? Yes, I realize that. Think of this. If a wife's husband or a husband's wife could not say, I'm seeking to live as if I have no spouse, then that should actually concern you.

If later today you say to your spouse, could you say that? Do you view the relationship we have in this way? Are you detached from it? Are you not wedded to it? Are you not rooted in it as an ultimate existence and a reality? And if one can't say that, then it's the same as saying what Paul says in the other five categories. It basically means the person is saying I'm living on this earth now to possess all I can for this is my permanent residence. Well, you and I wouldn't say that about the things physical, would we? But what about the thing when it's how we view our marriage? Right? It's easy to not want to say stuff about possessions, but what about marriage? Paul puts all five categories right there together.

So do I have room for this type of thinking and how I understand marriage? Not just marriage. How I understand how to live in all of life. Someone mentioned the analogy of one who is terminally ill.

When you get terminally ill, your entire mindset changes. When you find out you're going to die from cancer in four months, it all changes. That's what Paul's saying.

That's what Paul's saying. I want you to have a mindset. Something terminal is happening.

This world is going to be burned up. And I'm going to come back and I'm going to judge the world with righteousness. And I don't want you setting your hopes on this world and in this life.

What you put value on changes when you're facing death. Paul's wanting us to have that right now. So maybe a few, I guess you'd call them applications.

First, this mindset does not lessen some duty to my wife. But it makes me approach loving her with a right mindset where my wife is not an idol and my family is not an idol. And I would say here, I realize for some, their supposed dedication to the Lord is simply idolatry of the ministry.

Right? That happens. It appears like it's a zealous dedication to the Lord. It appears like maybe they're living out a principle from this verse.

But you can have cases where that's not the reality. Someone idolizes the ministry. It's a more spiritual idol than idolizing sports.

But it's the same thing. You can put ministry, you can put sports, you can put anything in a place that is only for Christ. And they do neglect their family under the banner of George Whitefield.

I should never say, I cannot come to preach because I have a wife. Right? There's ways to take this wrong. He never should have gotten married.

So, don't use a verse like this to neglect some duty in your home. That's not right. Remember, Paul's wanting some balance here.

Secondly, you might be saying, Oh James, I know this is right to be detached from this world, but I know too many marriages in the church where the husband needs a good word on loving his wife. Well, that's what I've been talking about. Don't you see? This is all about loving your wife.

Let me explain. Isn't a good word on loving Christ and His purposes more important than all else? What is best? Since if you truly embrace, live as if you have no wife, it should actually lead you to love your wife more, because now you're living for eternity more, and you're not as set in this world. That's actually going to help you love your wife more, brother.

It really is. Often, men and women who have marital problems are too much focused on the earth, full of selfishness, which leads to a lack of sacrificial love. But when you step back, and you see all this is going to burn up, and you're sitting there at your home looking at the checkbook, looking at the house, looking at the kids, and you realize all this is going to be gone, and you're not thinking that because you just got in a car wreck and you almost all died.

You're thinking that because you've read your Bible and you realize this world is passing away. When you think that and you change the way you think, it puts everything in perspective and it changes how you live. So I would argue the men who love their wife the most are the men who are most compelled by the fact they need to live for eternity and not be as rooted in the world.

When we make an idol out of someone, it never helps us love them more. But when you treasure Christ above all else, it helps you love everyone more because your mind is set on the love of Christ. And that's what he says to do.

Love as Christ. Love the church. And Christ loved the church not just in sacrificially saving us.

That's exactly what Paul says there in Ephesians 5. But Christ loved the church by giving us a hope of getting out of here one day. And He desires that we go to be where He is. So, you understand this passage.

It won't produce sinful neglect of your spouse. It shouldn't. Third thing, husbands and wives.

Let me ask you, would you be encouraged if your spouse came to you this morning and said, wow, I was reading 1 John. It hit me so fresh. Don't love the world or the things in the world.

If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. Oh, honey, and then he said, for all that is in the world, the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, the pride of life, it's not from the Father, it's from the world. And then, honey, then he said, and the world is passing away along with this desire, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

I mean, if you heard your spouse say, that verse hit home in my heart, wouldn't that encourage you? Then your spouse would need to say, well, you know, honey, it doesn't say marriage right there, but add me to the list. I'm passing away too. I mean, that's what Paul's saying in 1 Corinthians 7. This world is passing away, and in the five categories, he puts something there about relationships that John might not specifically put right there.

He says, marriage. Live as if you have no wife. Don't be attached to these things.

I think you'd be encouraged if your spouse read 2 Peter 3. The day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar. The heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved. Pass away.

The earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed, since all these things are thus to be dissolved. What sort of people ought we to be in living for this world and the things in this world? No. What sort of people ought we to be in lives of holiness and godliness? And guess what? Anxiety is not holy and it's not godly.

And Paul says, I want you to be free from anxiety. And you know how you're going to get free from anxiety? You've got to have a right relationship with this world. And you know where that starts? It starts in your mind.

You've got to view this world correctly. Your possessions are going to pass away. Yes, even those joys you have, don't make an idol out of them.

Even your sorrows, don't let them knock you into despair because it's only for a moment. And yes, even your marriage, it's for a moment. Waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God.

Lord, help us to be involved in that. Fourth thing, there's no marriage in heaven. Are you okay with that? Remember, a new couple came to the church and they found that out.

They didn't know that. You know, you kind of live, I mean, growing up, assuming there is marriage in heaven. Why do you think people assume that? I think because they witness it happen now.

Honestly, I think that's part of it. People witness such a high value. And I'm not trying to not put a high value on marriage.

You understand, there's a balance here. There's as if and there's if not. But people witness that.

People live now as if marriage is the ultimate thing. Then they're going to assume there's going to be marriage in heaven because living as if marriage is the ultimate thing, well, if that's not a sinful thing, then obviously it's going to be in heaven. And what they don't recognize is that attitude is wrong.

And Paul here is saying, that's not the right way. You've got to have a detachment. Dig up the roots.

Don't be rooted right there. And so yeah, I talked to that couple and said, yeah, you know, the Bible talks about you're ultimately married to Christ. This is all about Christ.

Your marriage is just a shadow. It's just a picture. And I forget how they responded, but it almost felt kind of like, how's that supposed to affect my heart and my treatment of my husband? A fifth thing.

Are you mourning about a loss in your life right now? Are you facing significant trials? How are you mourning? How are you grieving? Are you grieving as if that sorrow is the ultimate reality you're going to face? Or are you grieving as if, you know what, this is really hard, but this isn't it. And Saul's going to pass away. There's going to be a place where there's no tears.

There's no tears. 1 Thessalonians, you may not grieve as others who do not have hope. God help us to grieve right.

A sixth thing. If we live our lives having and yet not having, and I already stated this, but then you will not be anxious when what you had was taken. You won't be anxious about it because it's on loan.

It's on loan. Alright, the clock is right there and there's a glare on it. We've got ten minutes.

Let's see what else I can share. Not to clock right in front of the preacher now. There's no constraints in the 11-19, right? No time constraints then, but in the 10, you've got time constraints.

Here's one example. I won't read the whole thing. It will take too much time.

But Mary Schleser. I'm going to give two examples for you. One is a person who was married and one is a person who was single.

And I'd argue this. They both had this mindset. They held onto these things as if it wasn't the ultimate reality.

One of them, it led them to marry. The other, it led them to remain single. You understand the bigger issue is the heart being right and not being overly attached to this world that is passing away and being burned up and dissolved.

And Mary Schleser, I think she was in her 50s when this came about, or 45, something along that line. But she got engaged to get married. She was serving as a missionary in a cannibal-infested area of Nigeria.

Yeah, Nigeria. Okayan. And she got engaged.

And if she was going to get married, it was based upon the fact of if the board would give permission to her fiancé to get stationed because he was a missionary, to be stationed where she was at. Right? That was kind of the thing that was on the table. And she said, I lay it all in God's hands.

My life was laid on His altar for that people long ago. I would not take one jot or tittle of it back if it be for His glory and advantage of His cause. That's her mindset.

You see, that's her mindset. Well, you know what the board said? The board wrote back and said, we're not going to move him to the station. So you know what she did? She didn't marry the guy.

They broke off the engagement. And Mr. Morrison had asked her whether in the event of refusal, she would consent to return to where he labored. And this is what she said.

She said, it is out of the question. I would never take the idea into consideration. I could not leave my work for such a reason.

To leave a field like Ocayon without a worker and go to one where ten or even a dozen people have an open Bible and plenty of privilege. It is an absurd thought. If God does not send him up, then there must be someone else to do the work.

You see? And you know what? It's right. That mindset's right. And you know what that mindset being right led her to do? Not to get married.

You understand? The devotion to the Lord and wondering, Lord, where do You have me and how You have me living my life is going to be one of the main considerations when this whole topic of marriage comes up in your life. So this is an example of someone who didn't get married. She's clearly looking at this world as passing away and didn't look at marriage as something where I should go and get married and then I'm going to leave all these people with no Bible and no missionary to perish and go to hell when I've got the language and I'm there and I can give them the truth.

She was living as if this wasn't her home. So the next person, Sarah Boardman. She had this mindset.

On July 29th, they were missionaries in Burma. Her and her husband. Ms. Boardman wrote the following to her sister.

She said this, We must look beyond this fragile, temporary world. This is a married woman writing. To find our true peace.

I've learned through hard experience that searching for real happiness in this world is futile. My deepest earthly hopes have been shattered time and again. Being separated from my father's family nearly broke my heart.

Standing beside the deathbed of my sweet, lovely daughter Sarah, I truly understand that the joys and hopes of this world are fleeting. They're like a dream. Yet I'm overshadowed by an even darker cloud.

The thought brings me unbearable sadness and turmoil considering that in a few more months, my guide, my support, my husband, my joy on this earth might be gone. He's been troubled by a cough for a year now and has greatly weakened him. She's writing this to her sister.

Oh my sister, let's ensure our hearts are focused on eternal things above. It's a married woman facing this reality of God dissecting the heart. Getting the heart right.

This same woman, they had a one year old daughter. She journaled and wrote how the child became an idol in her life. In her purpose for life.

And then God took the child. And she wrote a letter back to her sister talking about not allowing idols into your life because she did that and God had to discipline her and take the life of her one year old child. This is a woman on the mission field in Burma facing these realities, wanting a secure devotion to the Lord.

And her husband, he did die. He went out and people got baptized and they were carrying him back. He was very sick.

He had to sleep in the rain that night and he died out there in the middle of the jungle in Burma. And then she remarried Adoniram Judson. Because Judson's wife had died.

The Sadducees might say, well, who's going to be married to Judson in heaven? That's not the point. None is. None is.

You see, these are people living for eternity. Whether you're single, whether you're married, brother, sister, does your heart have a secure devotion to the Lord? Are you freed from anxiety? And if you look at your possessions and you realize, I'm not living to possess as if this is the ultimate reality. Read those verses again.

Verse 29. This is what I mean, brothers. The appointed time has grown very short.

Now on, let those who are married live as if they're not married. And those who mourn as though they were not mourning. And those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing.

And those who buy as though they had no goods. And those who deal with the world. You and I are all dealing with the world.

Do it in such a way that you had no dealings with it. Why? The present form of this world. It's passing away.

And he says in verse 35, I say this for your benefit. I'm not trying to restrain you. I want these to be a massive decision in your consideration on whether you're going to be single, whether you're going to be married.

There's some of you, it is better to be married. And that is the far greater thing for your devotion to the Lord. There's others, it's better you remain single.

You've got to figure that out before God and yourself. But you know what you better have? It's to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. That's the big deal.

So, in a very little time, all of us who are married are going to be in heaven where there's no marriage. Is your devotion divided? Or has Christ secured it? You know how it is. This isn't some one-time thing, brother, sister, right? I mean, I'd argue this is a daily reality.

Paul said, I die daily. If you figured out how to... I mean, I guess I could say it this way. There can be a time in your life where God brings this home and makes it real.

And it might stay that way for 20 years, 10 years, maybe just 5 days. But God keeps doing that. And sometimes it's through His discipline of us.

You know, David said, the Lord consumed like a moth. Oh, that was dear to me. I remember reading that and thinking, wow, the Lord, He consumes things in my life that become too dear to me.

And that makes you say, Lord, I don't want any idols. I don't want anything with a wrong-placed affection in my heart. So, do an audit.

Taxes are due. Should I ask who hasn't done their taxes yet? You know what happens sometimes? I'm one of them. I'm going to get home tonight and finish all my taxes.

Hopefully it doesn't make me not blameless, but I'll get them done. You know what happens when you do taxes? Sometimes you do something wrong. Maybe you don't even get something wrong.

They decide we're going to audit you. The Lord does the same thing. Lord, here's an inventory on my life.

Here's where my heart's invested. Here's how I'm using all my resources in my life. It looks pretty good, right? I got it all in order, right? We think it is.

And then you know what? It gets submitted to the Lord. He searches your heart. He tries your ways.

And He finds inconsistencies. And then He comes and an audit begins. And the Lord starts pulling out all these areas in your life.

And He's putting them on the table. And then it causes you to go back and dig through files you hadn't looked at in a while. And you start to realize, oh wow, you know six months ago when I made that decision, I thought my heart was this way towards the Lord, but it was actually this way towards the Lord.

I didn't recognize what was going on. You see, you get audited. That's a good thing.

Or it's bad. No, it's good with the Lord. It's a good thing.

So are you viewing your relationships right? Your possessions? Your responses to joys and sorrows? And I apologize for not adequately dealing with all those other categories that He gives right there. The four, but I trust you get the point. So did you put your two-week notice in when you believed? Yeah, be faithful.

You're still with the company. You're still with the world. But I'll look forward.

We're going to get a transfer. It's going to be amazing. In this passing world we stay, yet perhaps not another day.

Live as if you're just a guest, for here is not your place of rest. Here where shadows come and go, hold lightly to the things below. Seek the eternal, shun decay, for this world is passing away.

Live now as if you're far away in realms where it's everlasting day. Let's pray. Lord, I pray that You would help me to live all of this out in my own life in areas where I might be wrongly assessing something.

Lord, we want to be people who look at this world as passing away. Lord, it's so easy to get consumed in the things of the world and things that take place in the world and we just get trapped. Lord, help us.

Please, Lord, help us. Help us to live for eternity. Lord, I do pray You'd help men here.

Lord, I know there's men, their issue is they really need to love their wife more. But Lord, I pray they would love You more and live more for eternity and that absolutely would lead them to love their wife more. Lord, I pray You'd allow that to happen in the weeks to come, that certain men where their marriage, their struggles, they'd become more eternally minded and less rooted in the world and that would result in a greater love for their wife and their children.

And so, Father, do keep anything here from being twisted or taken in a wrong way. Lord, do help us to live. We do have to live.

Lord, we're not sitting around. We've got to live. Help us to live for You.

Whether we eat or drink or whatever we do, help us to do all to the glory of God. Lord, help us to not love the world or the things in the world. Lord, help us to not set our hopes on these things.

We were bought with a price. Help us to glorify You in our body. Lord, it is our eager expectation and hope that we will not at all be ashamed, but with full courage now as always we'll be honored in our lives, whether by life or by death.

Lord, help us to set our mind on things above. Help us to determine to know nothing among anything except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. Lord, help us to live out Acts 20 and 24.

Lord, to not account our life of any value nor as precious to ourselves. If only we may complete the course. Whatever that course is for us, whether married with kids, whether single, whether a spouse dies when we're young, whether divorced or a single mother.

Lord, whatever that course is, Lord, help us to finish the course, to finish the race. So Lord, thank You. Thank You for this church.

Lord, I pray You'd just bless even our time of fellowship right now as different ones interact and exhort one another. Lord, we thank You. In Jesus' name, Amen.