Ephesians 5-18a

One question is, does the verse about fornication, that is, verse number 5 of chapter 5, mean we could lose our salvation? Neither, whoops, wrong one, for this ye know that no whoremonger or unclean person or cup nor covetous man who is an idolater hath any inheritance in the kingdom of God and of Christ. Paul says in 1st Corinthians chapter 6, such were some of you with these characteristics. So there were believers who had had those characteristics, had been changed, and they are suited for the kingdom of God.

And I think what we're looking at here is characteristics of people, not those who commit isolated acts, but rather those who are characterized by them. So it does not say no one who commits fornication or is unclean, does unclean acts or is acting covetously, but it is rather a statement about the person, it's their characteristic. It does not teach losing salvation, but rather those that are characterized by that will not have part in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Second question is, what about social drinking? Related to what we read in verse 18, and be not drunk with wine. Wine in and of itself is not evil. In and of itself, drinking wine is not evil.

However, both Proverbs and the passage that we have here is quite clear that being drunk with wine or any other alcoholic beverage is forbidden by the Word of God. To put oneself in a position of losing control is forbidden by the Word of God. Using it for medicinal purposes, take a little wine for thy stomach's sake, apparently is approved by the Word of God.

But two factors that to me are a concern when it comes to social drinking. Whoso rolleth a stone it shall return upon him, that there is a progressive character to sin. I question whether there may be a possibility of some paving the way for their own children to go further than they go, or their own friends to go further than they go.

Be very careful that you do not set a path upon which others going further will be in danger, number one. And number two, how is it regarded within our present culture? That is a matter of concern, that is not some irrelevant matter. Romans chapter 14 makes it very clear its impact perceived by others is very important.

Provide things honest in the sight of all men tells me that I do have a responsibility. I'm not applying that scripture itself to this, but the principle of the scripture. We are responsible for the appearance to others and the effect on others of what we do.

So this is a, if we're going to live holy lives and if we're going to be as far removed as we can by the Spirit of God from what we were in our sins, social drinking has absolutely no place for a Christian in this present culture. Other cultures, it may be the norm. Our culture today, there are, there are Italians.

With all due respect to anybody that has Italian blood. There are Italians to whom in their society it was a normal thing and they bring that over to this country and I wouldn't quibble with the parents who came first generation. I question whether the next generation is making a mistake if they carry on that in a different culture.

This is the culture and that defines our responsibility. I just think it's such a shame that we would love to be so like the world, but not exactly like the world. So why not imitate them in this? This is the way they do it.

Why don't we do it too? I think it is misguided. I'm going to read then chapter 5 and we'll start at verse number 18 because that is where your outline says we're starting, number 1, and it's also at the end of a period in verse number 17. And be not drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit.

Speaking to yourselves in songs and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Why submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord? For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church. He is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church.

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself. And the wives see that she reverence her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

Honor thy father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth. And be fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling and singleness of your heart as unto Christ.

Not with eye service as men pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. With good will doing service as to the Lord and not to men. Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive from the Lord whether he be bond or free.

And ye masters do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening, knowing that your master also is in heaven. Neither is there respective persons with him. Despite the fact that our other brethren have read into the next person's reading a little bit, I will not do that this afternoon for the blames.

I would have been warned by him that that's not a good idea. We will not tread his territory in this reading, God willing. Now we've been looking at interpersonal relationships already in the last Bible reading, and we are going to continue looking at them this afternoon.

And I think that as we look at this Bible reading at what we have before us, there is something for everyone. Not that there wasn't anything for anybody in the last reading, but when we come to the relationships in the home, we may be a husband or a wife. We may be a child or a parent.

And in the workplace, we will be either an employee or an employer. And so the passage that we have before us this afternoon is relevant to everybody here perhaps. There might be a few exceptions, you might say, but there is wonderful truth here concerning the Lord Jesus as well, which would be good to go with us this evening as we think about him and how he gave himself for us, gave himself for the church.

And tomorrow as we meet together, perhaps we will have thoughts concerning him. Now we don't want to spend too long in verse number 18 because we've already thought about that in the last reading. And I'm going to stick with the wonderful outline that was sent to me that our good brother Hagen stood up for us, and that way you'll be able to follow along where we're going as well this afternoon.

And we're going to look at the needed resource in verse number 18 and the consequences of that as well. The resource is being full of the Spirit. Our brother Oliver has said it's not so much the idea of being filled with the Spirit but being full of the Spirit, being controlled of the Spirit.

And we are going to notice that that will have different consequences. He starts in verse number 19 speaking and speaks of singing, making melody, giving thanks, and submitting. And we'll look at those things.

Verse number 21 will perhaps be a section in itself just for a moment or two. Your outline will say that's recognition and respect of others, not always asserting our own rights. Then we'll come into the portion that has to do with our responsibilities within marriage.

And you will notice on the outline, if you have a copy of it, that what we want to look at this afternoon is our responsibility. Not so much what the other partner in our marriage is to do for us or to us, but the individual responsibility of the husband or of the wife. Because unfortunately at times we will have the tendency to look at the other person's responsibility and see perhaps they are failing and fail to notice our own failings.

And so we need to look at ourselves today and see where we fit into this passage. And then not only will we look at the responsibilities within marriage, but we will look at the relationship within the family with children obeying their parents. And it will be important to notice the difference between wives that are submitting and children that are obeying.

I think that's an important distinction that we will want to make this afternoon. And then finally, we'll look at the regulations of roles within society or within the workplace, if you wish. And yes, we understand that what the Apostle Paul is writing here has to do with servants or slaves and masters.

But when we come to the end of verse number eight, it says whether he be bond or free. And so we can't say, well, this only had to do with Paul's day and slaves and masters. It has to do with us today as well.

And there are wonderful principles that we will learn. Now, you and I will know that when we come to these verses today, we're looking at things that are countercultural. Because when we look at the world around about us, they are not, shall we say, not into submitting.

That is not the role in society of anybody, so society would think. But when we come to the word of God, those that are full of the spirit are people that are willing to submit one to another. When we come to the relationship or the responsibilities within the whole, you and I will know that the world does not look at marriage the way the word of God looks at marriage.

Whether we think of the permanence of it, whether we think of the sanctity of marriage, but the world today does not view marriage the way the word of God does. And we need to adjust our thinking according to the word of God and not according to what we see and read around about us. And the same would apply to parents and children.

And unfortunately, at times, what the world thinks is that parents ought to obey the children. And that is a common thought in the world today. And I would not be throwing stones at anybody, but what we often see where I live, and I've been out of the country and out of Canada for many years, so I can't throw stones up here at all.

But what we often see in the country that we live in is a complete lack of discipline. And no desire to discipline children. And I'm sure that that is the case up here as well.

And so the word of God will teach us that there is a necessity of discipline. Two weekends ago, I think it was, I was an MOC at a conference and I had to speak about the upbringing of children. One little girl came over to me after lunch and said to me, I said, how are you? She says, not very good.

I said, why? She said, because my parents are going to spank me more now. Let us have the purpose of the library this afternoon. However, we do need to see what the word of God teaches us concerning this.

When we look at the responsibilities within marriage, the other thing that we will note is this. That there is perhaps three and a half verses that will have to do with the wife and about eight and a half that have to do with the man. And so I know that oftentimes when we come to speak about marriage in a Bible reading or in ministry, for some reason, people get stuck on the woman's role.

And they don't like to get on to the husband's role. And we don't want that to happen this afternoon. Now, we'll start with verse number 18.

If there's just any comments about verse 18 being filled or full of the spirit, controlled by the spirit of God. And then we'll move on through verses number 19 through 20. And look at these things concerning our heart and what ought to come from our heart as far as songs and hymns and spiritual songs.

And perhaps see a few distinctions, although perhaps it's not so important to see the distinctions. But the consequence or the result of being full of the spirit is that we will have a heart that is thankful to God. And so I look forward to the help of my brethren.

I was going to make a comment about the fact that they are more mature than I am, but I won't make that comment. But I am looking forward to their participation and help this afternoon. If there are questions after this session, we'll ask him what he meant by that.

I mean, we know that maturity sometimes is not a function of age at all. Are you happy with the three little thoughts on verse 18, that it's imperative, that it's continuous and that it's fluid? Yes. Could you expand on that for us, Brother Williams? Just the closing part of the verse, it's worth it to note for all of us that imperative is that it's a command from the Lord, that the tense is continuous.

My brother has pointed out the fullness of the spirit here. It's something that should mark our lives. And then that it's not to a single individual, but to all of us, for all believers, not just some believers.

And so passive being the idea that we are being filled, or it is a process that is happening to us. Although, as we saw in the Bible reading this afternoon earlier, the idea is that we are willing to turn that control over to the spirit of God. And I think there's a contrast here, obviously, in verse number 18 between the lack of control that a person has when they are consuming wine.

Wine is consuming them or controlling them, perhaps. Whereas when we are under the influence of the spirit of God, or when we are full of the spirit of God, he is controlling us in a positive way. And so it's something that is either detrimental, which is wine, or something that is very positive when we come in the spirit of God.

If we are going to be full of the spirit, do we not have to, in some certain way, be emptied of self? And that would take us back, perhaps, to what we saw earlier today as well. As far as that humility, that holiness of mind, that meekness. Not so much consumed with myself, but thinking always of others.

And when I am emptied of self is when the spirit of God will have that control that he ought to have in my life. I'd rather point out that in Colossians, the fullness of the spirit and the fullness of the spirit is linked with the word of God. Now, in verse 19, it's linked with other things.

Can you help us on those other things? Well, the first thing that perhaps, as we notice on the outline that our brother gave us, is being in fellowship with your brethren. And so it will say in verse number 19 that we're speaking to yourselves. It's not so much the idea of speaking me to myself.

The idea of speaking amongst yourselves. And so when a person is controlled by the spirit of God, that is going to be noted in their song. It will be noticed or noted by their heart full of worship, full of gratitude that is being manifest in song.

And then the next thing that we are going to notice here is verse number 20, giving thanks. And so that is another evidence that a person is controlled by the spirit of God. We are living in a world that is unthankful.

And it can influence us as well to be unthankful as believers. But a believer that is controlled by the spirit of God will be a thankful believer. And then the next thing we will notice in verse 21 is a submissive spirit in a believer.

I would say that what we're looking at here in verses 15 to 21, just to embrace the whole paragraph, is a believer's personal life. So he's personally responsible for redeeming the time, for example. Personally responsible for allowing the spirit of God to fill him, be made full of the spirit of God.

And therefore, he's also personally responsible for his communication with others of joyousness and thankfulness and so on. Whereas in Colossians, I think you're looking at an assembly context. Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, I think, is coming down to an assembly context.

So this is personal joyousness and my communication as a result of my own personal enjoyment of the Lord. Whereas when you come to Colossians, you're looking at the impact of that now that ought to be seen in a congregation. What a happy assembly it would be if there was this joyous communication of truth one to another.

Singing to one another. Singing, so that when we're actually singing, we're communicating truth one to another. I don't mean you get up and sing by yourself.

But if you and I were together and I was to sing, would you listen to me? Yeah, probably five seconds. No, I think it's the idea that in our singing, we're communicating to one another truth. Which, a lot of things to be said about this.

Hymns ought to have truth in them. Go for hymns that express divine truth. Not just empty repetition, et cetera, et cetera.

But not only that, sing them like you mean them. Don't mumble along. Amen.

What's the difference between a hymn and a spiritual song? Well, I've noticed that Brother Oliver was anxious to get onto the idea of melodies. So I thought that maybe he could give us a little bit of help here as far as these different ones are concerned. It says, psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.

Psalms, obviously, would perhaps speak of the experience of God in our lives. And that would be from the Old Testament. We have the Book of Psalms.

Although I don't know if he wanted to limit it exactly to the 150 that we have. Then we have hymns, which are perhaps songs of praise that are addressed to God. And then we have spiritual songs, which again will have an amount of truth in them that will edify the believer.

But perhaps there are others that could help us out with these ideas. I know there is at least one person, and probably more in this room, that were saved not by the preaching of the gospel that they were listening to that night, but by the closing hymns of the psalm conveying truth. I think what Brother Oliver mentioned is of utmost importance.

And I don't want to be critical of what people listen to at all. But oftentimes what the Christian world is listening to is not extremely edifying. There's not a lot of spiritual truth.

And I'm not going to make a list of things they can and cannot listen to at all. But the idea here is that there ought to be truth that is conveyed in what we are singing one to another. Brother, on the subject of singing, just to give us a little help today, there's some newer believers here.

When we are met together in assembly capacity in the meetings, there's an absence of instruments and musical accompaniment. We sing a lot of it. However, when we're at home or in our cars, we may have music playing with instrumental music and so on.

So how come there's a difference there? How come there's a distinction? Just on the general subject of music. That's a question that we frequently get from new believers, no matter where they come from. And obviously when it comes to assembly meetings and we look at the Word of God, we see there's an absence of the use of instruments.

And even when we return to the Old Testament and see where the instruments were used, it was not in the Holy of Holies. It was not in the most holy place. And so when we come together as believers in an assembly meeting, it is with the absence of instruments, with a heart filled with joy, as we have heard, with thankful hearts that we can express with our vocal cords those spiritual truths.

When we are in our home, that's another thing. When we're in our car driving along, that is not in the meeting of the assembly. And so we can make that distinction and enjoy listening to somebody play the piano or somebody strumming the guitar, whatever the case might be, in our home, in the vehicle, wherever the case might be.

But as far as assembly truth is concerned, we see no mention ever of the use of instruments. Musical instruments would be linked with physical ability as well. We're singing unto the Lord.

It's not how good we sing. It's that we sing, as David mentioned, with all of our heart. The Lord set a standard for our age in John chapter 4. What God is seeking at the present is in contrast to the liturgy and the external of the Old Testament.

And therefore, the public testimony of worship is worship that is evidently from the Spirit and genuine. It's not ritual. It's not real.

And therefore, the testimony of that is it's not the external instruments, but rather the instrument that's given here, actually, which is the instrument of the heart. Whatever we do, maintain the simplicity of our New Testament pattern and the sincerity. Do we have the right to say it's not an assembly if we have a musical instrument? I would not call that a part of the assembly.

Not for us. It is an opportunity to testify to the spiritual quality of worship that we seize and therefore do not use. Just as a practical point, I'm sure many of you have learned this.

No matter what we think of our singing, my experience has been that assembly Christians sing. And they're good at it. And I've had some shocking exposures to what you might find elsewhere.

Just quickly, Marcus, if you don't mind. In a little assembly up north one time, we were having a gospel meeting, small numbers there. One night, two couples came.

And afterwards, one of the men said to me, my, he said, the singing. And I thought, was it that bad? Really, I thought, was it that bad? Because it wasn't good. A little while later, I had to go to a funeral.

And I went to a building where these two couples had come from. It was a building with, you know, everything you want in the way of bands and everything else. But being a funeral, they didn't have the music there.

They had one or two people sing solos, and they were good singers. And they had one or two hymns, congregational singing. It was dead.

They had four or five times the numbers we did at the gospel hall, but the singing was dead. You see, to keep the simplicity. Mark is just giving us good answers, but keep the simplicity.

If there's no more in the Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, the distinctions that we have between those. Well, perhaps we'll move on to verse number 20. Giving thanks always for all things unto God in the Father.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Now, I don't think that he's giving exactly a formula how we're supposed to pray here. But again, he's bringing in the fact that we have that submission to that person.

And all that we see in our lives, we ought to be able to look at it in some way, find some reason for thanksgiving. And that will only happen if a person is being controlled by the Spirit of God and can see God working in their life. Because many times, I think we know that difficult circumstances come to our lives.

And even in the midst of those things, we can have a thankful spirit. We hear the statement at times, we cannot have more of the Spirit, but the Spirit can have more of us. Is that scriptural? Does that apply? I think that Brother Oliver mentioned that at the end of his reading, perhaps, that the Spirit ought to have more control of us.

And so the less control we have of ourselves, the more control the Spirit can have of us. Marcus, I would not want to suggest that we cannot pray to the Lord Jesus. There isn't, to my understanding, one place in the New Testament where praise is addressed to the Lord Jesus, apart from when he is involved and seen in a vision.

But I think there's a predominance in Christianity around us of praying to Jesus. And God bless everybody and keep them praying. But the Word of God indicates our primary source of prayer, our object of prayer, is prayer to the Father.

Furthermore, Brother David, Hebrews 13 and 1 Peter 2 are two other passages that would very definitely show us that spiritual sacrifices are offered to the Father in the name or through the Lord Jesus. They're acceptable. Put those two passages with this one.

Paul says personally, just to quote the second passage that I take to be the only specific reference to prayer to him, I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, 1 Timothy 1.12, who has enabled me for that he can be faithful and so on and so on. We're not going to rule out personal prayer to the Lord Jesus, but the norm in the New Testament is to the Father, to God the Father. But in Acts 7, the Lord Jesus received my spirit.

There the Lord Jesus appears. I would, any other time where you have a prayer to the Lord Jesus is actually in a personal vision. Acts 7 might be a car going into the ditch.

Say again? When the car's going in the ditch. Why, Lord save me would be good too. Perhaps somebody could help us here, and this would not be a criticism at all.

There are some people that would be concerned about praying and ending your prayer in the name of Jesus instead of in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and they perhaps would order this particular verse to mention that. And I know godly men, and they finish their prayers and say in the name of Jesus, so I'm not criticizing. But I think that in our lives we understand the need of giving the Lord Jesus his place.

And one of the ways that we can do that is in prayer, and closing our prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ is a way. Again, I'm not saying it's a formula, but it is a way that we are showing that we are subject to the Lordship of Christ. In a world that is anti-authority, we are wise to emphasize authority rather than de-emphasize it.

The Lord Jesus emphasizes his authority. Does that not help us when we get to verse number 21, submitting, which is where we should get to. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God, or some would say in the fear of Christ.

And the question is, why is it that he says in the fear of Christ? Now obviously one of the things that we can take into account is the fact that one day we will appear before the judgment seat of Christ. And the way that we have inter-reacted in our relationship with other believers, I think will be one of the things that is brought up at the judgment seat of Christ. But here we have submitting yourselves.

Submission, as we know, does not have to do with superiority of the person himself, but it has to do with role. It has to do with not thinking of myself as a superior person compared to somebody else. Perhaps we could have some help here in verse number 21.

There's obviously going to be three specific examples that he's going to give us here in the coming verses, and perhaps that is the way he's introducing the subject. But I don't think that we want to limit it only to wives and to children and to servants. Brother Higgins, you've been silent.

No, that's fine. Go ahead. I thought of this as an abrasive statement that really is going to introduce everything that follows.

I know there's a difference here of view, but even a husband carrying out his responsibility, as we'll look at in a few moments, is really submitting his will, his agenda, first of all to the will of God, to the word of God, and then to the well-being of his spouse. So there is a sense in which in every relationship we are submitting. There are different emphases in each one.

Right, so submission is not only in the wife. It's of the husband to the will of God, to the word of God. And then when we get to the parents, it's the submission of the parent to the word of God, to the will of God.

And again, with the Christian master, he is submissive to the will of God. Isn't there something exalted, though, about the word itself? It's, first of all, submission because I recognize God has put me in a responsibility or in a role. So it's actually under authority to God.

The first one who submits in the New Testament is he went down to Nazareth and was subject to them. So he was superior, he had capability they didn't have, whatever, but this was the role that God had given to him. And therefore, this is the role, submitting to one another, because that's the role.

I am a servant to others. So it's the idea of the surrender of my will in order to serve others. Would that be right? He that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

Would that fit into this thought here? Certainly in the submitting myself and yielding to the will of God, I will rise to my greatest usefulness. I don't think I should think about exaltation, but I will rise to my greatest usefulness in whatever sphere God has given me if I submit myself to what God desires for me. Perhaps we'll move into the largest section that we have, wives submitting themselves to their own husbands.

Now again, I mentioned that we have perhaps three and a half verses that deal with the wives and eight and a half that deal with the men. And so we don't want to provide an imbalance in the Bible reading this afternoon either. But what we have here is the role of a wife, not the fact that she is inferior, but it is a distinct role that God has placed the wife in in the marriage relationship.

We have, I think, her response to loving headship, and then we will notice as well in verse number 33 the reference of her husband or the fear that she has of him. Mark, as you mentioned, and maybe it will help us to start here, the difference between the submission that is spoken of in verse number 22 and the obedience of the child spoken of in chapter 6 and verse 1. Two different words. So maybe understanding what submission means will preserve us from misunderstanding and a lack of balance in what the idea of submission is.

Right, and so it is not the idea exactly of obeying, but it is the recognition of the role of the place where God has placed me. And we would see that in other passages as well, in 1 Corinthians 11, where Christ is the head of the man and where God is the head of Christ. And so there's not the idea so much of inferiority.

Again, we have to stress that because that is what many people go away from reading the word of God and they take that with them. But it is assuming the role, the position that God has given to me. So it is, she is to submit her own husband as to the Lord.

So it's not in response of the husband even treating her right or loving her as he should or he ought to. But it is as to the Lord. So that elevates her function far higher than merely just to her husband, doesn't it? Right, because when we come to 1 Peter 3, and we don't want to go there this afternoon because of time, but when we come to 1 Peter 3, obviously there is dealing with an unsaved husband.

And yet there is still a necessity of bowing to that headship of the husband. And so it is a willing submission, not something that is resentful. Because there are people that say, well, you know, I am submitting and I do everything he says, but there is a spirit of resentment in the heart.

And that is not true submission. True submission is from the heart and it is to the Lord. And when we come to children, it's as to the Lord.

And when we come to servants as well, it's as to the Lord. What if the husband, on the other hand, is insisting that the wife do something that would be out of fellowship with the Lord? To whom should she submit then? I think the principle would be Acts 5.29, it is better to obey God than man. Although I do think the wife would be very wise in seeking counsel of other godly women to know whether she should submit to what he is asking to do or not.

If it is something that is flagrant disobedience to the word of God, that is one thing, but many times it isn't. She should be so marked by this spirit as the tenor of her life that when there and if there should ever come the occasion where she must say that for conscience sake I cannot do that, cannot sign that, cannot agree to that, it should be such an exception that that itself should speak to the husband. But again, I think this puts a bound on her, it gives a boundary as to how far her submission goes.

She is submitting to the Lord. Actually, there are two different expressions between Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3. Parallel passages, but here she is submitting to him because she submits to the Lord. There, it is submitting as is fit in the Lord.

So it is becoming to where Lordship is. But here it is actually the demonstration, she submits to the Lord, she submits to him. She recognizes her role as to the Lord, she recognizes now that role as to her husband.

That does not mean that the husband is her Lord, but it means as she submits to the Lord, she recognizes this will cause her to submit to her husband. But Marcus, sorry, just to go over this again. Submission of the wife is the recognition of a leadership role that God has given her husband.

So that in some sense there may be a way to recognize his leadership and to state that it is not beneficial to do this. It is not in keeping to do this. I expect, I know that you want to lead in a way that is beneficial to the house, however this will not be beneficial.

Right, so submission, and this is important, submission is not silence. And it would be incorrect of a man or a husband to think that a submissive wife means she never will express her opinion. That would not be submission.

But when the opinion has been expressed and the conversation has ended, she is willing to submit to his leadership. Yeah, I think what is helpful, I know the word is not here in this passage. Genesis reminds us a wife was to be a help, meat for her husband.

And the word for help is the same word that is used relative to God's relationship to Israel. That God is a help. Throughout the Psalms, Deuteronomy and Psalms, God being a help to his people.

So it meant not just a companion, a comfort, but it meant a counselor, a confronter. So all of that is involved in a wife being a help to her husband. She is an on earth, if I can use that word, a by his side reminder of what God is to his people.

And she is really to enable him to be all that God intends him to be. To fulfill all of his responsibilities. And it may involve gracious confrontation at times.

As well as counsel and all that is involved in the idea of being a help to her husband. Actually earlier you said some other good things. That recognizing my role opens a door for me to rising to the highest fulfillment that God has for me.

So that when it comes to a wife being a help to her husband, she will be the greatest help when she recognizes his leadership role. I'm looking at this from another viewpoint. A woman says, what do I do when my husband doesn't lead? To step out of her role in order to lead is to limit all that she can be for God.

Remaining in that role is still her responsibility. So you've introduced a common question, give us the answer. What does a wife do when a husband refuses to lead and make decisions? And she doesn't want to step out of her role as being submissive to his leadership.

But he will not take leadership. How does she work within that maintaining her role? Fostering leadership in him if she possibly can. And honoring the Lord by her actions.

Fostering or encouraging his leadership is primary to the answer I think, don't you? Yeah, absolutely. So it's supportedness. You can never make up your mind, what's the matter with you? Sometime when he does make up his mind that he wants a Coke instead of a Pepsi.

Encourage him. I mean the reality is it's like he learned behavior behind that. He has been told by his parents that he makes wrong decisions.

Or he has been afraid because he did make wrong decisions or whatever. So I think that there needs to be patience in helping him to fulfill the role that God has for him. In a very practical way, since decisions have to be made.

She may have to make that decision but then submit it to him. And allow him final say. Even if it's like, okay, whatever you do is fine with me.

He has still taken the place of leadership. He is ultimately responsible for that decision. So yes, there are men that don't like to make decisions.

The wife is sometimes left with having to do something. She makes the decision to the best of her ability. But then she submits it to her husband.

And his reaction to it is the final determiner of what they do. And then she comes back to him. If that decision turned out to be good, she comes back with positive feedback.

And encouraging him in what he has done. So I think that is how a wife maintains her role. And yet at the same time fosters the leadership that God intends.

That cooperation between husband and wife, Sandy, too, would be relevant when the husband is not taking spiritual leadership. Very difficult. But again, to work together with this sense of respecting his leadership.

Respecting the role that God has given him. Okay, so here we have the idea of submission in verse number 22. Verse number 23 will speak about the husband being the head of the wife.

And I know that it is difficult to separate these verses as we go through them. But the idea of headship is the idea of responsibility. It is the idea of leadership.

The physical head leads, is responsible for what happens with the body. And we heard about that this morning, I think it was in the Bible reading. When there is that lack of communication between the head and the body, things go wrong.

And so between the head of the wife and the wife herself, if there is that lack of communication, things are not going to be right. And so Paul is telling us that the husband is the one who is to take that leadership. Who is to understand the responsibility that God has given him in the home.

And the husband may say, well, you know what, I work 50 hours a week, or whatever the case might be, and I'm very tired, and that type of thing. But the Bible hasn't changed, and he still tells us that the husband is to be the leader, to be the head. Mark, can I go back just a little in this? Okay, not to belabor the point.

But should there be a husband here today that's not taking spiritual leadership? Just this reminder, the Word of God gives you a resource. Be filled with the Spirit. And apart from allowing oneself to be controlled by the Spirit of God, living spiritually, you don't expect to fulfill your responsibility as a husband.

So where that resource is used, there will be this interest, this desire, this leadership in spiritual as well as financial, emotional, and so on, physical needs. We're going to notice here as well, not only is the husband the head of the wife, but it's going to mention that Christ is the head of the church and the Savior of the body, the one who preserves the body. And we looked at body truth earlier today as well.

And here we have the responsibility, the leadership that Christ shows for His church. Obviously, it's not speaking so much of the local assembly, it's speaking of the church which is the body, the universal church as we sometimes call it. But from Him we ought to take as husbands our example, one that is intensely interested in the well-being of His body.

And so husbands today, we need to be intensely interested in the well-being, physically speaking, spiritually speaking, emotionally speaking, of the well-being of our wives. That's involved in the word responsibility that you tied to headship. Responsibility of headship is not, I'm the boss around here and I get to tell everybody what they're supposed to do.

Responsibility is I am the caretaker, the Savior, the preserver of the body. So you're looking at loving headship I think is what you – did you say that before? I don't know if I said loving headship or not, but I – It's a good word. It is a good word.

Oh, okay. The other thing that's interesting here is we do not get the word as such lead, although it is found in the word headship. And so the husband is responsible to lead in the home.

Whether it actually says that, but what Paul is emphasizing not is lead your wife, it is love your wife. And so that will take us to loving leadership. I have taken verse 23 back to verse 26 of the previous chapter.

We were talking about let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Upon your wrath, yes.