From Drugs to Christ

Surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are healed.

All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his own way, and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. John chapter 19, the Gospel of John, chapter 19, reading verse 30, When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished. And he bowed his head and gave up the ghost, or dismissed his spirit.

And a final reading in 1 Timothy chapter 1, verse 15, This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, or of all accepting, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. And that is all we'll read. My purpose is to tell with the help of God how God saved me, and let me say this, that it will do me as much good in the telling of it, I trust, as it will do you in the hearing of it.

Nothing brings me back to my origin as far as to where I began in telling my story. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, and just to give you a brief kind of outline of my background, I actually was born of a Polish father and a Welsh mother. I had a Hungarian grandmother and a Ukrainian grandfather and an English grandmother and a Scottish grandfather on my mother's side.

So if it was a dog we were referring to, we would call it a Heinz 57. In other words, I really have a pretty confused or mixed background as far as my cultural origin. My father, up to this present day, is not a Christian.

He would believe that the Bible is the Word of God, and I'm very glad to hear that. I'm very impressed because my father at one time was already communist in his beliefs. And however, the home I was brought up in was a good home.

We never heard the Bible read. We never had a parent pray with us. We never heard anything relevant to God ever discussed in our home, and the Bible that was in our home was never opened.

It was there morally as a pictorial thing because it was kind of nice-looking, a big white one with golden letters on it. But my father was good as far as teaching us principles in the home. He was an honest man, and he was a moral man, very upright, and he sought to really encourage us to live and to grow up in such a way that he thought at least we would be good citizens.

The two things that my father couldn't stand were lying and laziness, and unfortunately they were the characteristics of both myself and my younger sister. My father, for all that he did for us—and my father was in the Navy, and I've often said this, he ran the house like a ship—I always called my father Sir. Even to this present day, my wife is quite amazed.

She says, Why don't you just call him Dad? She calls him Dad, but I have always called him Sir. And when he went away sometimes to go to sea, he would turn around and he would say, I'm going to sea. I'm the head of this house, but while I'm away, your mother is acting captain.

So if she has any trouble with the crew, they'll be answerable to me. My father was a very strict disciplinarian, but I don't think he ever acted just simply out of anger. He was very controlled, even when he disciplined us.

So I can't turn to my background. I had a good education. I went to university until I was expelled in my third year.

I went to grammar schools. We had every opportunity. My parents thought of that.

And unfortunately I lost my mother when I was thirteen years old, very tragically. But for all my father sought to do for us, he could not give us the power to live the way he taught us to live, nor could he live that way himself. Let me simply put it this way.

My father was a very methodical man. He did the same things at the same time of day all the time. He went to the same places to fish.

He read his newspaper at the same time. He sat at the table for supper at the same time. If it wasn't served, he wanted to know why.

His place was the same place all the time. He actually used to wear... My mother had a difficult time getting him to buy new clothes, because he liked to wear the same clothes all the time. And what really wearied me about my father was, I used to think to myself, all's my father does.

He gets up, he goes to work to earn a living, to come home to bring up his family, who will go to work to earn a living, who come home to bring up their families, and where is the purpose of that? Where is the fulfillment of that? It just seemed so empty to me. And I made my mind up, even as a young boy, I thought, my life is going to mean something. I'm going to find out some reason, other than just this almost lethargy, for living.

And I'm sad to say that by the time I was eighteen years old, or nineteen, I was a drug addict. You know, oftentimes people hear that sort of a story and they think, that's always the story of kids that were brought up on the wrong side of the street. That's the down-and-outer.

That's the person that didn't have parents that had any money or didn't give them any opportunities. Let me say this, that most of the people that I knew in my addiction, and they were involved with me, and most of them today are dead, came from good homes. They came from good homes.

A lot of them had scholarships at universities. A lot of them had purpose, ambitions, and yet somehow they got sidetracked. The emptiness in life sidetracked them, and they became drug addicts.

Nobody ever became a drug addict by choice. Nobody decided, I want to be a drug addict. Nobody ever planned on dying a drug addict.

All I used to think of as a young man was this, I'm just dabbling in it, I'm just playing with it. And I remember my father, I only ever saw my father cry twice. Like I said, he was a very factual man, he didn't show a lot of feelings or emotion, but twice my father cried, and I saw him cry, and cry with a real depth to it.

The first time was slumped over the railing of a bridge after my mother died, and I thought for sure he was going to go over the bridge, and I remember saying to him as a boy of 13, Dad, don't do it, we've got nobody else, don't leave us, we've got nobody else. And he just wept his heart out. The other time I saw my father cry, and I'll never forget it, I would do anything to reverse that and take that away, but sitting in an old Jaguar Mark 9, with a boy of 18 years old, looking at me and saying, son, you're taking a course that's going to destroy you, it's going to destroy you, and I'm absolutely helpless to do anything about it, I would do anything to stop you, and he just hung on to that steering wheel, and he saw it.

And I remember putting my arm around him, and I said, Dad, don't worry, it's just chicks, I can handle it, I can handle it, you can't handle it, you really can't handle it. And so by the time I was 19, 20 years old, I was a drug addict, I was a heavy user. I hardly used marijuana, I didn't have much time for it, though I will admit this, generally the use of marijuana is a pathway that leads to the wider avenue of harder drug use.

Sad thing if a government ever determines to legalize it, because many individuals I know that became what we call very active addicts, and died tragically, first started by the use of marijuana, and then LSD. I must admit, I jumped in with both feet. The first drugs I ever used were what we call speedballs, they were a mixture of methadone, or rather methamphetamines, and heroin that we referred to as SCAG.

And within three months, within three months, scholarships that I got at university, student loans that I had to finish my course in my third year, I had spent everything I had. I was reduced to the point that the only way I could support my habit was selling it to others. I won't go into my background as far as how I became what I was, listen, there are things I'm absolutely ashamed of, but I thank God they're under the blood.

But I will say this, I started, first of all, muelling. Muelling simply means I became a carrier, especially across borders, and would bring amounts of drugs, doing the transaction for the money, bring it back to the base where I had to bring it, and instead of getting money for doing it, I got a share of it. I progressed from there.

I thought I was going up, but I was going down, collecting, in other words, going around hurting other people, or with people that hurt other people, to collect money for drugs. Even working as an enforcer to support individuals, maintain what they called their turf, their territory. And finally, when I was about twenty years old, twenty-one years old, I moved over to Prince Edward Island, Charlottetown.

In fact, the reason I went there, there was a gang war in Halifax where I lived, and a lot of the dealers that were involved with the bike gangs, I was involved with a gang that was called the Thirteenth Tribe, which are now called Hell's Angels, were warring with another faction that were called Satan's Choice, all these names. And I must admit, very characteristic of the very names they used. They were killing off the dealers, they were killing off the enforcers, there were people getting killed.

It was very serious. And so I basically took what I had and fled, and went to Prince Edward Island. I had been expelled by that time from university, and over in Prince Edward Island, like an individual that was contaminated with a disease, instead of going over there and getting away from it and getting better, I just started spreading it.

Until finally myself and another man, who's now dead, were actually the two men that divided Prince Edward Island as far as the drug territory, and I was one of the main men who were running drugs in Prince Edward Island, God save me. Someone says, well, how does a kid get like that? How does it happen? How does a nice kid become an alcoholic? How does a kid that seemed to be so set in life and had so many good attributes become a drug addict? How does a person become so careless and cold and cruel, even relevant to others and those that he loves or loved? You know what I've likened it to? I've likened it to an individual, two young boys that went by a second-hand store, a pawn shop, and in that pawn shop they saw a trombone case. Now a trombone is that instrument you play with a big long handle on it and the keys, a lot like a trumpet, only longer.

And the case that they keep it in is a very strange looking case with its indentation for the bowl section, the section where the long cylindrical rods go, and so when they saw this case they looked at it and they saw this nice interior, a satin interior, a leather exterior with all these grooves in it, and they thought to themselves, hey, somebody made that for something, and so they bought it for four dollars. And then they tried something to make it work or make the ownership of it worthwhile. They tried to use it as a suitcase, and you can imagine trying to shove things like that into it.

They tried to use it as a lunch pail, and apart from getting an apple in one section and maybe a sausage in another, it just didn't work out. They even tried to use it as a fishing tackle box, and you can imagine what those treble gnarling hooks did to that lovely interior. And finally frustrated, thinking like this, we know it's good for something, but we can't figure it out.

It's no good for us. They took it back to the pawn shop, sold it for two dollars, that's the way it goes. One day as those two boys are walking by that pawn shop, they look into the window, and you know what they saw? They saw a trombone case.

And in that trombone case was a trombone. And all of a sudden, every indentation, every mark, every groove made perfect sense that the trombone case was made for the trombone. You know that's what is meant when it says, in the image of God, made he he, referring to man.

That man was made for God, and until a person has Christ, there's an emptiness, there's a void, there's a senselessness, there's a frustration, there's an unfulfilled experience called your existence. You know why? You were made for God. And without Christ, nothing fits, it doesn't work.

And that's what leads people to become drug addicts, that emptiness, trying to fill it, trying to find something that makes sense out of it. One after another, my friends died, or went to mental institutions, or went to incarceration prisons, penitentiaries. It broke my parents' heart.

My father moved away. He moved, he never even gave me the address. And I never saw my father or heard from my father until four years later on one occasion when I was in prison, when he sent down money.

He just couldn't take anymore. Let me tell you something else about a drug addict's life. Let me tell you something else.

If a drug addict's life is like a bad dream, the life of his family is like a nightmare. My wife, I must admit sometimes when you're away from home, you get a little more sensitive to, I probably should be ashamed of myself, because I'm never more sensitive or appreciative of my wife than I am when I'm away from her. But one thing I'll say about my wife, my wife stuck with me, Maxine stuck with me through everything.

You know, I married her when she was 17 years old, 17 years old and a week. And she thought I had a little drug problem. And before long it became evident, as I sold everything she had, I even sold her rings, her wedding rings.

As a matter of fact, the wedding ring she wears to this day is one that was her mother's that was given to her. And it was just, I think, earlier this year, late last year, that at an auction I saw an engagement ring and I bought it and I gave it to my wife. She thought I was kind of foolish when I said will you marry me, but I gave it to her.

I sold everything we had, everything. I sold her clothes. You know what, as I'm standing here tonight, I don't even know that person anymore.

When I am telling you my story, as if it's not my story, as if it's a person that I used to know, but I'm not that person anymore. I can't even understand how that person thought anymore. And when I went to prison, and I did go to prison, I went to prison four times, but I did what they call a stretch three times, ranging from a year down to as little as three months.

The first time I went to prison and they shut that door on me, something died. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that this was really happening to me.

Do you ever find yourself there? Maybe it's not drug addiction. Maybe it's some other kind of a prison. And the door shuts and you think to yourself, this can't be happening to me.

And in that prison, my wife would come and visit me. My wife would hitchhike sometimes, you know, stick out her thumb and look for a lift. And sometimes she'd hitchhike, I suppose it would be two and a half, three hours from Charlottesville, where she lived, to Halifax, where I was, in the Sackville Correctional Center.

And when she came there, there was just a little plexiglass piece, just a piece of plexiglass with little holes in it, little indentations. And she'd travel all that distance, and in the end, she actually had my little daughter with her, who was born a year, a little less than a year after we were married, carrying her in a backpack. And you could hardly talk to one another because there were others talking all along, and sometimes you just put your hands up against the glass, and she'd put her hands to the glass, and it was almost as if you could feel her.

Listen, I resolved, I resolved that when I get out of here, it's going to be different. When I get out of here, I'm going to be Joe Citizen, I'm going to get a job, I'm going to straighten up, I'm going to cut out this life, I'm going to walk away from it. But I'm just like others here tonight.

You've tried walking away from it, you can't, but an old saying at home, you know what it is? You just can't make hay with a monkey on your back. I was a three-time loser. I'd lost my friends, I'd lost my own personal integrity, I'd lost my family, I was a three-time loser.

Three times in prison, every time resolving, and whenever I got out, it lasted for a week, it lasted for ten days maybe, but eventually someone would give me the phone call. The stuff had hit the street, my contacts were there, and I would be back at it, and sometimes not home for three or four months. And then there came the time when this woman, my wife, that had stuck by me through so much, one day when I came home, I hadn't been home for about three months, I came home very sick.

As I sat on that couch, she turned around and she said, Peter, I'm going to leave you. And I wanted to say, no, don't leave me. You're all I got, Maxine, don't leave me.

Everybody else is gone, don't leave me. I wanted to tell her I'd changed, but I couldn't change. I couldn't change.

And here's what she said, she said, Peter, she was only at that time maybe 22 years old, 23. She said, my life is already ruined. 23 years old.

Apart from one occasion, my wife never did drugs, never. My life is already ruined, she said. But I can't let you destroy the children.

I can't let you destroy them. They've got to have hope. They've got to have hope.

They don't even know anything about God. And I can still remember that afternoon. Maxine had gone out, and when she came home, she said, I met a person today, actually a cousin of mine that invited me to take our little girl to children's meetings.

You know, there's a verse in the Bible that says, where sin did abound, grace did much more abound. You know, when I was at the very bottom, I couldn't do anything for myself. Everybody that ever meant anything to me, I'd hurt and they'd gone.

And you couldn't go any lower. That's when God began to take up a dealing with me. How low do you want to go? How low do you want to go? And God began to deal with me.

And it wasn't through a preacher, although she was a preacher of a sort. She came to our home to take our little girl to children's meetings. At that time, Natasha would be five, almost six years old.

And she'd be taken to a meeting where she'd sit down and they'd preach a little message from the Bible to them, and sing choruses with them, and then they used to give them treats afterwards, and get them to memorize Bible verses. You know, the first gospel I ever heard, the first gospel I ever heard, was a six-year-old girl in the bathtub singing, Jesus loves me, this I know, and then singing this chorus, singing this chorus, all the way to Calvary, He went for me, died to set me free. And this woman came and picked her up regular.

I think my wife even went to a few meetings with Carol. It would end up being one of my wife's cousins, I didn't know at the time. And finally she came early one day, and when she came, I thought, I'm going to talk to her.

Now let me encourage sisters here that are living for God and looking the way a sister should look. I had spent all my days in nightclubs. I hung around nightclubs, that's where most of my business was.

I had seen the glitter. I had seen all the put-on things to try and enhance people's appearances, and it was refreshing to see a wholesome-looking woman living for God, even by an unsaved man. It was refreshing.

So don't you talk about this dressed-down policy for drug addicts. None of it. And I came, and I remember bringing her in, and I said, sit down.

And she was scared. She was terrified. She sat down, and I said, what are you? What are you? She said, I'm a Christian.

Yeah, I said, I know, we're all Christians. This is North America. But what are you? No, she said, we're not all Christians.

We're not all Christians. She said, we're not a Christian because of where we were born. We're Christians if we're born again.

And she said, I'm a Christ one. Christ is mine, and I'm his. And he died for my sins, and I'm on my way to heaven, and I'm sure.

And if you want to know anymore, you can ask my husband Harvey. And away she went. Well, Harvey never came, but two men came.

I can remember the first time they came into my house, down those stairs. One man, a beaming smile. He had been an alcoholic, a very severe alcoholic.

And he was saved. And he loved Christ. And the other man was an elder, actually, in the meeting that I'm part of now, Mr. Doug McLeod.

And he was nervous because he lived on the same street as me. He'd seen the RCMP come into the house. He'd heard the sirens.

He'd seen the motorcycles all parked outside. So he even admitted, he said, I told Edward, he could shoot us. And the other man, Edward, turned around and here's what he said.

He said, Doug, if we don't believe, if we don't believe God will and can save this man, we might as well pack up our stuff and go home right now. And down they came. I don't remember much about that first visit, but I do remember this.

Everything they said, I had a theory to cover it. Everything they said, if I didn't know something to counter it, I made up a lie on the spot and used that. And finally I thought I had them whooped.

I really did. I thought I had them whooped. You know what I said? I said, you guys are just like me.

I said, we're really like people stranded on a desert island who have no hope. We're just, we didn't ask to come here. We're stuck here and we're going to be here till we die.

We got to make the best of it. And I said, but we've told ourselves and we've told one another that one day a big ship's going to come and is going to take us off. But there's no big ship coming.

We just tell each other that so we won't go insane. And I pulled out a syringe and I said, that's my big ship. That's what keeps me going from day to day.

And I said, you're Jesus. And you're being saved. That's your big ship.

But really, that's just a crutch to help cripples through life. And how are you going to answer that? And they didn't even try to argue. You know what they said? Can I read something from the Bible to you? And for some reason I was afraid of it.

I was afraid of the Bible. I don't know why. You're afraid of it too.

In many of your homes, it's the unread book. You know why? You're afraid of it because you don't want to face what it says. And I remember saying, go ahead, read, but make it quick.

And the first place a man ever read the Bible to me from was Isaiah chapter 53. In particular, two verses. He was wounded for our transgressions.

He was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray.

We have turned everyone to our own way, and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. And I can't tell you what it was, but it was like in the dark tunnel of my hopeless experience. There was just the faintest glimmer of hope.

I didn't get saved in that moment, but that touched me. And I got a big lump on my throat, and I actually started a little tearful, and finally to cover I said, Oh, anyone could have written about Jesus. I've read Christmas cards and heard Christmas carols.

I know the story. One of the men turned around and he said, How do you know it's talking about Jesus? It was written 700 years before Christ came into the world. You know what dawned on me right then? Here is something written about Christ, 700 years before he came into the world, and a drug addict from the gutters of Charlottetown could see what it was talking about.

That's how clear the prophecy of God was. How could a person dispute this and say, How do you know the Bible is the Word of God? There is no other book like it. This is not an ordinary book.

It's the Word of God. And at that moment I realized this, Peter, this is real. You know the problem tonight with many why you're not saved? You've never realized this.

This is real. It's real. There's a real heaven.

There's a real hell where those in their sins must go. And there's a real Savior that died for our sins and he lives with power to save. It's real.

And you can either face it or walk away from it, but it won't change it. It's real. I actually wanted them to stay, but they didn't stay.

I don't know what their excuse for going was, but they left. And I just sat there. And one of them in particular, they both came back by time, but one in particular came often.

The big smiling man. You know one thing about him? Well, two things. First of all, he knew this.

He was a man that knew he was saved. He knew he was going to heaven. You know anybody like that? He knew he was going to heaven.

He was absolutely sure of it. More than that, he was sure that I could. He was sure that I could be saved.

When he preached to me, he preached knowing this, that this man could get what I've got. You know what? Every night I preach the gospel, I have my brother with me. We have that same realization, that you don't need to leave a meeting like this without Christ.

It's real, and it's for you. And he'd come down, and he was always friendly, always smiling. I used to call him, in fact, I used to call him the jerk.

And when he'd knock on the door, I'd say to my wife, and he'd always talk about the wife and tell the wife to do it. Boy, I can relate to what you say. I was the worst character at it.

I said, Maxine, go tell the jerk I'm dead. Just go and tell him, leave me alone. And I'd hear this conversation at the door, and I'd be real sick.

Sometimes withdrawn, sometimes I hadn't washed, sometimes literally I'd thrown up all of the bed and just lay there, wouldn't let anyone in the room. And he'd come into that room, and he'd bring a pizza, sometimes a bottle of Coca-Cola. There were times he'd clean me.

And he never preached right away. I was on guard of that. You're on guard of that, too.

See, this guy had a love for my soul. He had a love for my soul. I never met anybody like that.

And he turned around and I remember saying to me on one occasion, he said, Look, Peter, I'm just glad to drop in and visit you. I've got to bring something for you. And one day he brought a whole quarter of beef, all chopped up, put it in our deep freeze.

The deep freeze was about the only thing I had in soul because I couldn't get it out by myself. He said, Just put this in your deep freeze, go ahead. And I thought he wanted us to store it.

And when my wife went to serve it, because this man had been so kind to us, so kind, when my wife made a portion of it, started to cook it, I said, We can't do that to Eddie's food. She said, Peter, he gave it to us. He gave it to us.

Hey, let me tell you what that meant. He had four boys at home. He wasn't a wealthy man.

He got that in payment for a job he'd done. And out of that beef, he'd taken about four or five bags of mince for himself and left the roast and the steak and brought it to me. Well, I said, You call him up.

It's for us. He wants us to have it. And I said, Nobody did that.

Nobody did that. So I called him. I said, What do you want us to do with this meat? He said, If you don't know what to do with good beef, you're the first person.

Eat it and enjoy it. And I just asked him this question. I said, Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? Why do you always come giving me things? Why do you just... You don't ask anything.

You just come giving. Brother, we should learn from that. You know how he answered that? God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.

He said, If you're going to come representing the given God, you've got to come giving. Always came. And he always got a little word in.

And sometimes he'd wait and he'd say, Peter, you know something? There's a Savior that loves you. And he died at Calvary so that you could be saved. So that you could go to heaven.

And you need him, Peter. And he wants you. He wants you.

And I used to say to him, Look, you don't know me. That's all right for good people, but that's no good for me. And then one day he came to the house and it wasn't the same.

He didn't come smiling. He came crying. He stood in the bottom of my doorway in tears.

I thought some of the guys I got around with had gotten to him and beat him. And I said to him, Matty, you tell me who did this to you. I'll kill him.

And he said, Nobody's beat me, Peter. Nobody. He said, I was just driving here tonight.

I'm going away tomorrow for the week. And he said, As I drove, I thought to myself, If Peter died, and your next six could be your last. You got that, son? Your next six could be your last.

If Peter died, how could I sit and look into his remains knowing that he was in hell? Knowing he was in hell? And he said, If I've never been faithful to you, let me be faithful now. Yeah, I've got friends here. People I've come to know and I've come to love.

If I have never been faithful to you, let me be faithful to you now. If you don't get this great salvation that God gave his son to provide, then you will be in hell without hope forever. And he just stood there sobbing.

You know, I realize this man cares more for my soul than I do. Do you think it's easy to look at people and tell them that if they go on in the air, they're going to be in hell? Do you think that's easy? That's not easy. Do you think it's easy to see a person that welcomes you to their home and they're smiling until you tell them why you're there and all of a sudden the smile changes? And you know they don't want to see you.

It's not easy. But thank God for individuals that will do it. No matter how sick you are.

No matter how desperate your circumstances. No matter how debauched or immoral you are. Or religious you are.

Men that will be faithful to you. And he came in to pray with me. And he just got on his knees and he said, Oh God, just save him.

It was a long prayer. Just save him. And he came up and sat on the couch we just sat there.

It seemed like hours. Maybe it was less, but it seemed like hours. And then finally, without even saying goodnight, he just slipped out of the chair and left.

And I sat there. And the call came because the devil was busy. And the boy said, There's some new stuff in.

Come on down. We've got some things to talk over. And I went, Why God ever saved me after that? When he had given me all that opportunity.

And in spite of what God had confronted me. And I was touched. I still went on.

You know I always wonder sometimes, What is it going to take? What is it going to take to bring you to a full stop and just cause you to break down and say this, I've got to get this now. I've got to. And I went to the party.

And I was not the life of the party. And as I was getting ready to do that fix, I took a spoon, mixed it up, cooked it, put a light under it, took a piece of filter, and a pipe, drew the fix. I've done it hundreds, possibly thousands of times.

Rolled up my sleeves, pulled off my belt, tied it on. And as I got ready to do something, it was almost like lighting up a cigarette to me. It just came to me, Your next fix could be your last, and you'd be in hell.

And I put it down. And I backed up like it was poison. It is poison.

And a big fellow that was actually one of the collectors, he was an enforcer for us, Billy Mack, his name was, turned around to me, he said, Hey Pete, what's the matter? I said, Billy, you know what's the matter? I'm going to hell. That's what's the matter. I'm going to hell.

Sir, that's what's the matter. You're on your way to hell. Ma'am, that's what's the matter.

And he turned around to me, he said, Pete, yeah, but we're all going to hell. Take a look. We're all going to hell.

I said, I know a man that told me that there's a way out. And if I can find it, I gotta find it. I didn't know that verse, Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, or those that seek me shall find me.

I didn't know that. And I wasn't saved at that moment, but I made up my mind. You know what I made up my mind to? If there's salvation for this boy he's getting it tonight, that's your problem.

And I literally pushed away, and he said this to me. He said, Pete, you go. But you ever get this thing, see? Because he said, I know guys in the pen that got this.

Hard timers. And they got something real that made them different. Sure it does.

If you get this, you come back and tell me, see? You come back and tell me. I'll cover it. I went home that night.

I didn't know there was a chorus. The first time I read it, it just reduced me to tears. You know what it is? My old companions, very well, I will not go with you to hell.

I mean with Jesus Christ to dwell. I will go. I will go.

And I came home, and that night, I put a terrible night in. The next day, I even tried to work and I couldn't do that. I tried to cut a deal with God about salvation.

I told God, if you save me, I'll do this. I'll be a good father. I'll be a good husband.

I won't tell no more lies. I won't steal no more. I won't do no more drugs.

Just save me. You know what I thought? If I promise him all these things and make the bonus big enough, then he'll save me. You know what? God didn't save me.

You know why? Salvation is not a bargain. It's a gift. You can't do one thing to earn it.

In fact, you haven't got anything to give God to earn it. It's a gift. What could I do? But God could do everything.

It's the gift of God. That night, I came home, and my wife said, there's a meeting going on in Charlottetown Gospel Hall. It's a Bible reading.

Now, she didn't know the difference, and she only knew what she thought. She said, but only the people. I said, I'll go.

I'll go. She said, but the only people that are there are people that are saved. Now, that's not true.

And that night, it wasn't true either. But she didn't know any different. And I thought, maybe I won't go, because I won't be saved, and they'll know.

And they'll all kind of look at me, even drug addicts are proud, just like you. Proud. You'd be amazed how many people are going to be in hell because of pride.

And I turned around, I said, I've just watched some TV. I got down on my knees, got the old TV turned on, mine was just a black and white, but that'll do the job. I thought, I'm getting too taken up with this, I'll watch a little TV, that'll get my mind off it.

Turn on the TV, and just the wavy lines, you know what I mean, well, you shouldn't, but anyway, the wavy lines are there. And the sound comes on, but no picture. And I thought to myself, God is doing everything He can to get me to this meeting.

He wants to save me. So I said, I'll go. I'm going to call, and I called the man who invited me, Doug MacLeod, almost didn't even be there before I put the phone down.

Incidentally, in case I forget to tell you, that night my wife said after you were gone, she sat down and turned on the TV, she said it worked like it always did. What a coincidence, eh? I want to tell you something, God will move heaven and earth to save you, but the greatest thing God ever did, He gave His Son. He gave His Son.

I hope you don't think you're here by accident. And as kind as you have been in fulfilling an invitation I hope you realize this is not just a coincidence that you're here tonight hearing what you're hearing. And you know what's real? And I went to the Bible reading and I sat there and I tried to get saved and I'll tell you they turned a good Bible reading into a real good gospel reading.

I don't know what the context of the passage was, but I'm sure they never got to it. Every verse they kept on talking about how that Christ died on the cross for sinners, and then they kept throwing in it didn't matter how bad they were. And all these verses.

Thank God for exercise brethren. I love a good contextual Bible reading. But boy, there's a time you could use the Scriptures for a springboard.

Get at it. And I sat there that night and you know what I realized? I'm hearing enough gospel tonight to save a world. To save a world.

And when that meeting was over I could hardly believe the meeting had concluded and I wasn't saved. I thought I came to get saved. I purposed to get saved.

God knows why I'm here to get saved. And as I was going out the door a man by the name of Albert Ramsey with a big warm paw, big, excuse me, hand. Like a paw.

Just reached out that hand and he said, and pulled me over. Give you a pull right over beside. He'd give you a pull too, you know that.

Especially if you had something you need a little trimming up on. And he turns around to me and he says, boy, what's your problem? I said, I'm not saved. He said, do you want to be saved? I said, I want to be saved more than anything in the world.

Do you? Do you? Come on. Let's be real tonight. Let's get right down to where the tire hits the road.

Do you? I said, I want to be saved more than anything. That's why I'm here. He said, when do you want to be saved? When? When do you want to be saved? Isn't that the problem? You want to be saved before you die but you don't want to be saved tonight.

You know the only terms God works with? This is God's terms. Now is the accepted time. Now is the day of salvation.

God is interested in saving you tonight. And he took me to his home and I went to the home. He read some scriptures to me.

I didn't know. They were all new to me at that time. I'd never cracked open a Bible.

And as he went through those scriptures, I looked at them and he kept saying to me, do you know what they mean? Do you know what that's saying? I said, Mr. Ramsey, I'm not saved but I'm not stupid. I said, I know what it's saying. I can even tell you how people know that they're going to heaven.

I can even see how people can go to heaven. But it doesn't do anything for me. I need something for me now.

And he asked me a question. I want to ask you the question tonight. Every one of you.

He said, is the work of Christ on the cross when he laid down his life as sacrifice for sin enough to take you to heaven? Is it or is it not? And is the word of God enough to tell you that you're going? Is it or is it not? And I said, there must be something more. Something more than the work to take me. Something more than the word to tell me.

And he just closed that Bible and he said, son, if you want something more than the work of Christ to take you to heaven and the word of God to tell you you're going, you'll just have to go to hell because there's nothing more. Got that? Nothing more. You'll just have to go to hell because there's nothing more.

You don't need anything more. He asked me a question and he said, do you think the work of Christ is enough to take a sinner to heaven? I said, I do because I know sinners that are going. And he told me, actually, we got on our knees and he prayed for me and he says, and he told me a little of the story of Saul of Tarsus, the chief of sinners.

Public enemy number one as far as God was concerned and sin. The worst sinner tonight saved by the grace of God is in heaven. He said, do you think the blood of Christ is enough to take the worst sinner, now let's listen to this, the worst sinner to heaven? I said, the Bible says the chief of sinners, you just read me the verse, is in heaven.

So it is. And then as the phone rang, he just made a remark as he went to get the phone, he turned around and he says, too bad, it's not enough for you. It's enough for a sinner to take them to heaven.

It's enough for the worst sinner to take them to heaven. But it's not enough for you. Too bad it's not enough for you.

As he left that room, you know what dawned on my soul? Just thought, it's all I need. That's all I need. The work of Christ is enough.

I just understood this truth that it's enough for the first sinner, Adam was saved. It's enough for the worst sinner, Saul of Tarsus was saved. And it's enough for this sinner.

It's enough for me. I wasn't even thinking about believing. I was thinking about what Christ has done.

And just appreciated this truth that what he did on that cross was for me and it's enough. I want to ask you tonight, don't answer me but you answer God. Is it enough for you? Is it enough? And if it is, let your heart well up to God and simply say this, it's enough.

God is satisfied with the work of Christ. The only problem is you're not. And as he left the room he must have thought something happened because he turned around and the man that called he said, that boy, Orazuc, imagine, 28 years old, that boy, Orazuc, just got saved.

And he came back in the room and I wasn't going to tell anybody but I couldn't keep a smile. I couldn't keep it off. Just the relief.

Just knowing it's enough. It's enough. I got enough.

I got all I need. I got everything. He said, what's the matter with you? I said, I just got saved.

So there's lots of people who think they're saved. Imagine that now. He said, how do you know you're saved? Actually while he was out of the room I just turned to John 19 and looked at verse 30.

I didn't know what it meant. He'd actually left the Bible open in fact and the letters were in red. One of those red letter additions.

Three letters in red. He said to God, Oh God, is that all I need? You know what he saw? It is finished. It is finished.

I just realized this. That's all I need. I said, God says it's enough and it's finished.

He said, do you think you could get down and thank God? I said, I think I could. I'd never done it before though. I was kind of embarrassed.

He didn't know I had a shy bone in my body. I got down to my knees and I remember all I said was this, Oh God, you shouldn't have done it. I was so bad and he's so good but thank you for saving me.

Then I said, can I use the phone sir? I saw that smile come over his face. He said, yeah, go use the phone. I called home.

I picked up that phone about 10 past 11, December the 28th, 1976 and my wife came on the other end. I said, I said, it's going to be okay now. It's going to be okay now.

God has saved my soul. It's going to be okay. I'm coming home.

I'm coming home. That's my story. I am going to heaven tonight.

Not because of anything I have done but because the work to take me to heaven was accomplished at Calvary when Christ died for me and it's enough. I want to tell you something tonight. It's enough for you.

It's enough for you. That's what God wants you to know. You don't have to work or struggle to take you to heaven.

God's not even interested in that. God simply says, I am satisfied with the work of Christ are you and I am what I am today by the grace of God. We'll pray.

Our Father, we thank Thee for Thy Son, the Lord Jesus. Thank Thee for all that are here this evening that can relate maybe to not many of the circumstances but Lord, to the experience itself when they simply from their own hearts confess to God that it is enough that Jesus died. It's enough.

Oh God, we praise Thee for Thy Son this evening. We thank Thee for the cross of Christ and the precious blood that flowed there that sin might be righteously dealt with and forgiven. For every soul here that is saved, Lord we thank Thee and for those that are here tonight and they're on the very precipice on the very edge of coming to the point where they'll simply trust what Christ has done and be saved or go out of this building without Christ in their sins with a possibility of being not only lost as they are but being lost forever.

God be merciful. Give us the good news of souls trusting Christ tonight. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.