Col No.37 Conduct and Conversation

The letter of James and chapter 3. James writes, not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.

Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in God's likeness.

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from heaven, but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

Amen. I should just qualify the notices. Next Sunday morning I'll be preaching and Sunday evening Pastor Colin Smith will be ministering.

I thought I'd encourage him because of what England did with Scotland yesterday. Colossians chapter 4, Colossians chapter 4 and verses 5 and 6. Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

You are aware that this whole passage from the first verse of the third chapter is dealing with the manner of life that Christians should illustrate because they have put their trust in the Lord Jesus. The early verses of the third chapter tell us if we be risen with Christ we are to seek those things which are above. Our lives are not our own, they're not controlled purely by our personal desires.

In fact if we are Christians then according to Paul in the third verse we are dead. Our natural personality, our natural inclinations, they have been subjected to a greater force. The power of the Holy Spirit, the life of the Lord Jesus Christ having entered into us means according to Paul in that verse that our life is head with Christ in God.

Now says Paul in the opening of that chapter, if ye be risen with Christ or as he says in the fifth verse of that chapter, therefore because of these things certain consequences follow. Because you are a Christian then the way that you conduct yourself on a Monday, on a Tuesday, it will be changed, it will be altered simply because you don't belong to yourself, you belong to the Lord Jesus. Now the practical implications he's been working out in the verses that have followed.

We've learned a lot about Christian behavior, about attitudes, about the way that we relate one to another, about the way that we relate to the unbeliever. We've looked at Paul's teaching on Christian wives and Christian husbands and Christian family circles, Christian employers, Christian employees and all these things are traceable back to this great and glorious concept that because we are risen with Christ, because our life is head with Christ in God, then we're different people. And unless there is some practical outworking of your Christian faith, unless it affects the warp and the wolf of your personality, then your faith is not New Testament.

It cannot be. Because the New Testament is not dealing with abstractions, the New Testament is not a philosophy, it has here a way of life. And Christian people are to be illustrations, personal illustrations of the grace of God which has so changed their lives and their disposition.

Now it's good for us to have this in mind because when we come through to this fourth chapter, I feel as I've mentioned before that the division is completely wrong. The division of Scripture is something that was done much later on than when the canon was complete and it's an arbitrary division sometimes. If I had been responsible for putting a pause after Paul's argument in the third chapter, then I would have suggested that more logically the division should have been after the sixth verse of the fourth chapter.

Because you see, in the fifth and the sixth verses of the fourth chapter, he's still continuing on this theme of the difference in the Christian lifestyle because he's risen with Christ, because his life is hid with Jesus Christ. And he's talking about the Christian's influence on the outsider, on the non-Christian. How is the Christian wife to influence the non-Christian husband? Vice versa, how is the Christian husband to influence his non-Christian wife? How is the Christian employee to influence the non-Christian employer? All these things are very much in the mind of the apostle as he comes down to this fifth and sixth verses.

And he's already told us that one of the main ways in which we're going to win our family circle for Jesus, one of the main ways in which we're going to win people at our office, at our school for Jesus, is to pray for them. The second verse of the fourth chapter, continuing prayer and watching the same with thanksgiving. So I brought to you an address on that particular injunction.

But not only prayer, prayer is a very powerful medium. It is an excellent means of grace that God has given us. But God demands more of us than just praying for our loved ones who are unconverted, than just praying for our colleagues who are not converted.

So in the fifth and the sixth verses, here are two injunctions. Walk in wisdom toward them that are without redeeming the time. Here our conduct is specified.

Be we schoolboys or be we employed in a shop or in an office. Here is the way in which we are to conduct our affairs in our so-called secular capacity. Walk in wisdom toward them that are without redeeming the time.

And here is some teaching on our conversation, or if you like, on our communication, how we talk to people and the influence on our speech. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. So under those twin headings of conduct and communication, or conduct and conversation, we look at Paul's teaching in these verses, relating it to the overall scene that I just sketched of people who are risen with Christ and who have set their affections on things which are above.

Well then, come to this fifth verse in which he talks about our conduct. Walk in wisdom to them which are without, to them that are without. What does he mean by the word without? Do you remember as a schoolgirl, as a schoolboy singing about the green hill far away without a city wall? I always thought that it meant that there was no wall at Jerusalem at all.

Without one, you know, it was lacking. But that's old-fashioned English, isn't it? Without really means outside. And that's precisely what the A.V. is here saying in this fifth verse.

Walk in wisdom to them that are outside. Outside what? Well, outside the kingdom of God. Outside the family circle of the redeemed.

Outside at this moment, the grace of God. Walk in wisdom towards those who are outside. You see, if you belong to Jesus, if you've trusted him as Lord and Savior, you're in the in-group, you're part of the body of Christ.

As Paul has taught us in the third verse of the third chapter. We are in that wonderful, wonderfully privileged position of belonging to the Heavenly Father. But that's not the case for everyone that we know, is it? This is why he's taught about wives and husbands and children and parents and servants and employers.

Because within those categories, there are those who do not belong to the Lord Jesus. And we are to influence them. They are without.

We are within. And our concern is to get those who are without within. We are to bring them into the privileged position that is ours through Jesus Christ.

Now how do you go about that? Well, it's all to do with the communication of the gospel. It's all to do with prayer. But the most important thing that the apostle, a man who is dedicated to the ministry of preaching, has to argue as far as influencing another is concerned, is the way that you conduct yourself day by day and week by week in the presence of those members of your family circle who are outside of Christ, in the presence of your non-Christian colleagues.

So Paul says, walk in wisdom towards them that are without, so that those without may ultimately, through your testimony and by the grace of God, come within. If you want more teaching along that line, then you would have to look at 1 Corinthians chapter 5 verses 12 and 13, where again reference is made to those without and those within. I'll not spend time at that point this morning because actually it will come into my address this evening when I'm talking about the security that there is in the ark of salvation, an address that will be based on the story of Noah and the flood.

Well then, let's come back to this particular injunction of Paul, walk in wisdom towards them that are without, towards those who are not Christian. We understand now what without means, but what does walk mean? What is he referring to here when he says that we are to walk wisely? Well, according to a man by the name of Vine who wrote a brilliant book on New Testament terminology, that concept means the whole round of the activities of the individual life. In other words, our whole lifestyle is to be so employed that those without shall be influenced by the way that we live.

Last week, as some of you know, I was preaching in Leicester and in the city there were buntings and flags and flowers and I thought how kind of the council to mark my coming to Leicester. It really was quite a humbling experience, but I discovered later on that it had got nothing to do with me going to Leicester. The Queen was coming in a few days' time and the council rated that to be of such singular importance that the flags and the flowers and the buntings were put out for Her Majesty.

And when she is in Leicester, she engages as often she does when she's visiting cities in these days, in a walkabout. You've seen that, have you not, on television or illustrated in the paper. Our Queen goes around, perhaps a little shopping area and hundreds of people are straining to get a glimpse of Her and some handful will be so favoured as they catch her eye and she moves over and perhaps shakes their hand or talks to them.

We call this a walkabout. Now it's very interesting that that term walkabout actually owes its origin to the New Testament Greek language. And when Paul here says, walk in wisdom to them that are without, he says walkabout in your life so that when you meet with George or Mary or anybody, in your day-by-day walkabout they will be impressed with your manner of life.

I wish I had time to take you as I went through in the early hours of this day, the Epistle to the Romans, where Paul on several occasions makes reference to the walkabout of the Christian. Just one or two examples. Romans 6.4, walkabout in newness of life.

Romans 8.4, walkabout after the Spirit. Romans 13.4, walkabout honestly, stuttered in the Epistles, is this injunction for the Christian to engage in a walkabout and as he walks about in newness of life so he demonstrates the new lifestyle to unbelievers, as he walks about in the power of the Holy Spirit he illustrates the very power of Jesus in his personality. Now I could have taken you thoroughly through Romans and on into Ephesians to demonstrate this, but let me content myself with just one or two references from Colossians and you'll see how Paul here ties up the whole of his teaching as he gets into the fourth chapter with what has gone before.

Look for example at the tenth verse of the first chapter, do you remember we looked at that about a year ago now, that ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing. That's part of Paul's prayer. You remember how we spent time dealing with the way the pastor prays for his congregation? Well for this cause says Paul in the ninth verse, since the day we heard of your faith we do not cease to pray for you.

What do you pray for Paul? What's on your heart for these Colossian Christians? Well I pray, says the illustrious Paul, that they might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing. Go down to the sixth verse of the next chapter. Apostle here is reminding us of the essence of our faith, we've trusted Jesus as saviour.

Alright, if that is so he says, as ye therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk about in him as though you are walking in his presence, as though his life is controlling and conditioning your activity day by day. Let's go to the seventh verse of the third chapter and here is a contrast. Here is Paul contrasting the way that we used to live, the way that we used to walk, and the one in which we find ourselves now.

In the sixth verse of the third chapter he refers to the wrath of God and the children of disobedience, all who do not acknowledge the gospel, their lifestyle, the sinful tendencies that they give vent to in the way that they live their lives. Now says Paul in the seventh, you used to walk like that, in the which ye also walked about sometime when ye lived in them, but now you've put off all these things. So you see how beautifully logical is Paul's teaching, how gloriously simple also it is when he talks about those factors which will be vital in winning someone else to the Lord Jesus, he refers specifically to our walk about, day by day, that will influence those who are without, by the grace of God, be a means of bringing them within, into the family circle of the redeemed, making them Christians by our influence.

Well then, so much for Paul's teaching on our conduct, let's go on to the sixth verse and here references made to our communication, or if you like, to our conversation. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Now as Paul has made reference to walking with the Lord in previous verses, so also he has made allusion to speech.

Look for instance at the eighth verse of the third chapter, the eighth verse of the third chapter, how did we used to talk in our unregenerate days? Well he teaches by contrast, now ye also put off all these things, anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication, all these are aspects of speech that may have studied, studied our conversation in days gone by. But since we came to Jesus, the anger subsided, the blasphemy was eradicated, the obscenities, they were erased from our dictionary because the Holy Spirit came into our life, our desire was in speech to honor the Savior. Our conversation to this Paul, as I say, has made previous reference.

Do you notice how in the humility of Paul in the fourth verse of the fourth chapter in this area, he's asked for the prayers of God's people, himself, so that he might communicate well the gospel. Will you pray for me, says Paul, that I may make it manifest as I ought to speak. So concerned is Paul, so concerned is the whole of the Old Testament and the New Testament with this vehicle of communication, speech.

You could do a lovely Bible study from the book of Proverbs simply on speech and the control of the tongue in our words. But let's come more specifically to what Paul has to say here, and remember the general context is the way that our speech can influence other people who are uncommitted to Jesus in our family circles or in our professional capacities. He talks, first of all, and I'll try and make this easy for you to memorize.

He talks about the fashion of our speech. Let your speech be always with grace. When the Greeks talked about gracious speech, they would be thinking particularly about witty, brilliant speech, the sort of thing that would get you on a sort of what they call the chat show on the television.

Michael Parkinson, is it? You know, some celebrity will come along who's gifted in communication and he'll be interviewed and because of his sparkling speech it will be entertaining to those who happen to have tuned in. But it's not that sparkling speech that Paul is here referring to. A gracious speech which has as its finest illustration that of our Lord Jesus.

You never found his speech anything but, anything else but gracious. It was not abusive, though there were occasions when he had to censure. It was not vindictive, though there were times when he had to criticize.

And when personal affront was received by the Lord Jesus, he was still gracious. The one who, though being reviled against, he did not revile. The fashion of his speech was one of graciousness.

And that's what Paul is enjoining you and me to copy, to emulate. But not only the fashion of the speech, but retaining the F's, the flavor of the speech is also described. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt.

You see, just because you're gracious it doesn't mean to say that you're neutral, you're insipid. You're tasteless in what is said. Jesus was gracious, but he had salt within his speech.

What does salt do? Well, it helps to bring out flavor. Jesus' speech never ran away with him. He always controlled it, didn't he? It was a marvelous thing about our Savior, one of the many marvelous characteristics that one detects about him.

I wish I could say the same myself. That's why I got a colleague to read James 3, because there is that teaching on the tongue. And the tongue is a very hard thing to control, is it not? Maybe you're not as uncontrolled as I am.

Maybe you've never got a chapter in your life that you wish you could rip out. Never a time when you wish that you could have cut your tongue off, because afterwards you thought to yourself, why did I say that? My tongue, it controlled me. But Jesus always controlled his vehicle of speech.

And yet in doing so, there was still flavor in what he had to say. Never man spoke like this man. His speech had healing qualities.

And salt can have an antiseptic characteristic, can it not? Even in the natural realm. So the words of our Lord Jesus, though they had grace in them, they were seasoned with salt. He controlled his words.

And what he had to say impressed others. The fashion of our speech, with grace. The flavor of our speech, seasoned with salt.

The function of our speech, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. And perhaps an even clearer statement of what Paul is here saying, is found in 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 15. Sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.

With meekness and fear. Remember the context. There's a Christian wife talking to a non-Christian husband.

There are Christian parents talking to a non-Christian child. How do you win your child for the Lord? How do you win your employer for the Lord? How do you win your pupil for the Lord? How do you win your teacher for the Lord? Though some people are not very skillful in the way they attempt it. Like in the illustration from fishing that I gave you some weeks ago.

There are some fishermen and they're terrible at their craft. They're like the Japanese fishermen in the way that they've been doing to death some of those glorious sea creatures. To which reference has been made in the press recently.

The dolphins. There are people who perhaps have that sort of approach to evangelism. And it's terribly, terribly wrong.

Your speech is to be with grace. Seasoned with salt. Skillfully applied.

Like that of the Lord Jesus. Who said, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to gamesay. So Paul in these fifth and sixth verses is laying down practical teaching for the likes of you and me.

We want to win men for Jesus. I want to win some of my family circle for the Savior. I want to win my employer for the Savior.

Is that what you're saying right now? Well thank God for your inclination. That's good. That's honorable.

That's the way that you should be looking at life. He that wins souls is wise. But there's a way to win souls.

And one of the most important and little emphasized is our conduct day by day. And our speech. We're not just talking about preaching.

In one sense preaching is the easiest aspect of this because preaching to a degree is controlled. But what about a situation where my speech is not so prepared? What about when pressures are upon me at home, pressures are upon me at school, pressures are upon me at work? Or when I'm driving my car, is my speech then controlled? But it's at those points, those pressure points that my influence becomes the most pronounced. I know a major in the British Army who was won to Jesus Christ when at Cambridge.

Simply because a colleague of his when he picked up a kettle which was full of boiling water and he didn't realize how hot the kettle was instead of letting off an obscenity was able to control himself. And this man who, as I say, became a major in the army was so impressed about the way that this other fellow could discipline his reactions that he wanted to know more. And he was won for Jesus as a result.

You see, it's very often our conduct and our conversation under pressure that becomes the most vital aspect of winning someone for Jesus Christ. All right, let me conclude. Here within these two verses there is an urgency.

An urgency about the way that the apostle puts his teaching. Walking wisdom towards them that are without redeeming the time, buying up, says Bishop Moule in his Greek commentary, buying up the opportunity, taking every possible way in which you can influence another, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always, always with grace.

Never an exception. Always on guard. Always on duty.

Always a spokesman of the Lord Jesus Christ. Now that's a challenge for you mums and dads, isn't it? When your kids are around and they're a little naughty, or when you're feeling, you know, like boiling over yourself. It's just at that time that you might influence Johnny or Sarah or whatever his or her name happens to be wrongly.

And so day by day we must come to the Lord Jesus and pray, Lord, in the pressurized circumstances of life, keep me walking in a way that will influence my children rightly. In my manner of speech, keep me so controlled that never shall I be used to put off my youngster from following you. And, of course, you can apply that in any of the other categories to which Paul makes reference in the last verses of the third chapter.

Well, my time is through. Here we are, my friends. One of the greatest methods in which people are influenced for Jesus Christ.

Nothing to do with the preaching ministry, not the exposition of Scripture, though that, of course, is absolutely vital in many, many facets of this argument. But here is this day-to-day encounter with other human beings in many categories of relationship. And there my conduct and my conversation is vital in the influencing of others.

I wish I could tell you that the working out of what I've set before you is as easy as the preaching of it. But may God give us the grace not only to understand these things, but to illustrate them in our lives, proving that we are people whose lives are hid with Christ in God, who have our affections set on things which are above. And our sole concern during our earthly pilgrimage is to win others for the Christ of God.

And the most evangelistic method, the most profitable method, is our day-by-day conduct and conversation with other people. To the praise and glory of God we offer this meditation. Amen.

Now, Father, you know many of us from the depths of our hearts want to win some who are without and bring them within the family of the redeemed. We believe that our lifestyle, our conduct, and our conversation are going to be vital in influencing such for the gospel of Christ. Lord, we ask for your aid.

We ask for your forgiveness where we've failed in times gone by. We pray for the empowering of the Holy Spirit to be better ambassadors of the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ. And so we ask, Lord, make us successful in our soul winning.

Bless those who must go at this juncture and be with us who remain to come around this table. And as we remember the death of the Lord Jesus, may he be present in the breaking of the bread and the drinking of the wine. Amen.