099. Chapter 94: Unbelief Concerning One's Spiritual State
------------ CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR------------ Unbelief Concerning One’s Spiritual State
It is not difficult to convince a truly gracious person that he is displeased with his sinful heart, thoughts and deeds; that he grieves in his heart about this; that he longs for God, for reconciliation with Him, to be at peace with Him, and to walk before His countenance in humility and godly fear; that he knows Jesus as Surety and Savior, desires Him, makes Him his choice, turns to Him, receives Him, surrenders to Him, and through Him goes to God in order thus to become a partaker of the benefits of the covenant of grace. A gracious person cannot deny that he finds within his heart an aversion for sin, sin being contrary to the will of God; that he has an inward desire to live holily before the Lord in a manner pleasing to Him; that this is time and again his goal, intent, and objective; and that he has occasionally enjoyed a sweetness and resting in God. Yes, an explicit presentation of these matters will function as a clear mirror in which he can perceive that these matters are to be found in him.
However, to convince and assure the truly gracious in this way that they are in the state of grace, and to cause them to rejoice in this, cannot be accomplished easily, for the special operation of the Holy Spirit is a requisite for this. “Now we have received ... the Spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God” (1 Corinthians 2:12). The Spirit first bestows grace upon them; however, they then also need to have it shown to them that they have received this grace. “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God” (Romans 8:16). There are many gracious souls who, with Samuel, do not know the voice of the Lord. Even if they are possessors of true grace, they nevertheless do not perceive it within themselves. If they may perceive something, they then find so many arguments to the contrary that they do not dare to come to the conclusion that they truly have grace.
Some are not very much troubled about this. This can either be due to ignorance, or because they are subject to a poor ministry and lack guidance. They therefore do not know that one can be assured of his spiritual state. They occupy themselves with prayer, longing for Jesus and refraining from sin, hoping that they may acquire salvation. Others are despondent and do not know how they may attain assurance; they travel upon their way, oppressed by the power of their corruption. Others are drowsy and lethargic, and are not very much concerned about their state. Again, others are very much concerned about their spiritual state and live in much fear and anxiety.
Regardless of how much or little one may be concerned about his spiritual state, to be without assurance concerning his state prevents him from rejoicing in God, manifesting gratitude, and glorifying God; and it impedes spiritual growth. We shall present the nature and causes of this spiritual disease and endeavor to facilitate its cure.
We wish to premise this by saying that we are not addressing unconverted people who either know that they are indeed without grace, do not think about this, or who very easily pacify themselves and continually assure themselves of their salvation. We also are not addressing those whose conscience is under conviction but who nevertheless live in sin and do not truly go to Christ. In the meantime, such get attention by their ability to complain, and by way of subtle devices, seek to arouse the pity of good ministers who do not have a great measure of the spirit of discernment. Such ministers, due to their tender disposition toward the weak, will greatly trouble themselves to answer their objections and show them that they do indeed have grace. Instead, it would be better if they would deal roughly with them, so that they might become spiritually healthy and repent. Or, if they have been exposed as complaining for the sake of complaining, such ought to return to the world where they belong, so that they would no longer hinder the godly and cause upright ministers additional grief as they preach to and edify others. Let them say whatever they wish when they insist that such a minister neither understands the life of the soul, nor is capable of dealing with souls. When such individuals are exposed, other weak persons will be less hindered in availing themselves of the guidance of such upright ministers. We are thus not addressing such individuals; instead we are addressing those who have grace and indeed desire to be helped. These are not all in identical circumstances; the one is troubled by this and the other by something else. We shall therefore present several cases and comment upon them. The First Cause of Doubt: Doubt About One’s Election The first cause of unbelief concerning one’s spiritual state is a doubting of one’s election. Faith is peculiar to the elect. It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that showeth mercy (Romans 9:16). There is a calling according to the purpose of God, and if I am then not elected, I also cannot be saved. Whatever motions of faith and repentance I may pretend to have are not right and it is thus a lost cause. The longer I think about election, the more I believe that I am not one of the elect, but a reprobate instead. I perceive this to be so in my heart, which declares most plainly to me that this is so whenever I desire to pray and flee to Jesus. This grieves me in both body and soul.
Answer: First, God rarely communicates with His dear children in an immediate sense, and would He then deem reprobates worthy of granting them such immediate revelations? Be assured that this is not God’s voice, but rather your own foolish, unbelieving heart, the devil’s devices being intermixed with this. You have not stood in the counsel of God and thus you ought to leave the secret things for the Lord. Be not so brazen as to pretend that you should know that which God has not revealed in His Word. Has God revealed to you the reprobation of someone else? Indeed not! What grounds do you then have to believe that God would reveal your reprobation to you? Therefore, do not live by illusions and your own ideas, but rather conduct yourself wisely.
Secondly, there have been many others who have been subject to the same temptation as you are, and have perhaps been mired in this more deeply than you. Their deliverance taught them that they truly were of the elect and that they had embraced lies by assuring themselves that they were reprobates. Thus they had only been a hindrance to themselves in the way of godliness.
Thirdly, we must not examine our faith, hope, and love in the light of election; rather we must ascend from them to election. You are thus conducting yourself in an entirely wrong and foolish manner. You would tell others not to conduct themselves in this manner, and thereby you can perceive your own foolishness in rejecting your election. God does not grant faith, repentance, life, and love to those whom He has not elected, but to the elect alone.
If the Lord has thus granted these matters to you in principle, you have reason thereby to make your election sure.
Fourthly, God has given us His infallible and sure Word, and we are to govern our faith and life accordingly. Focus upon that, and consider the exhortations, the offers of Christ, and the promises made to those who are pleased with Him; rely upon them. Are you not able to ascend to your election thereby? You will most certainly not discover your reprobation there -- yes, even if it were true that you were presently still unconverted. Even if you were the most abominable person alive, you may still not conclude that you are a reprobate and cannot be converted. Therefore, set these foolish and unfounded imaginations aside. Let them no longer trouble you and deal circumspectly according to the Word of God. The Second Cause of Doubt: Fear of Not Being Converted The second cause of doubt is that I fear that I am not converted, that thus the entire foundation of my religion is wanting, and therefore all that I perform from here on is not good. I doubt because:
(1) I do not know the time of my conversion.
(2) I did not consciously experience such an evident change from being blind to seeing, from death to life, and from being worldly-minded to being heavenly-minded.
(3) I have not been as sore broken upon viewing my sins, nor have I the sense of God’s wrath and fear for damnation as I observe in Acts 2:1-47
(4) My beginning was prompted by self-love, and fear for damnation motivated me to seek. I was neither motivated by a love for God’s honor, a love for Christ, nor the desirability of holiness and salvation. Therefore I am of the opinion that the entire foundation of my religion is wanting, that all that I have and do is only superficial in nature, and that it does not proceed from a heart which is converted and spiritually alive.
Answer: First, consider whether you wholeheartedly seek God through Jesus Christ unto justification and sanctification, and for peace, joy, and felicity. The issue here is not whether you know when and how it began. You may not deduce by way of your conversion whether your current religious activity is of the right sort or not. On the contrary, we deduce our conversion by our current religious activity.
Secondly, few know the time of their conversion. Some were already regenerated prior to that moment which they considered to be the moment of their initial conversion. In others their initial religious exercises were but preparatory exercises, and they were not converted until long after that.
Thirdly, conversion rarely occurs in such a clear manner. Rather, it transpires as gradually as the rising of the sun, so that we are able to perceive only at some later date that we have changed. Yes, some are converted in their childhood so that they cannot recall having been in an unconverted state. Their progression is not a qualitative change, but rather a progression in spiritual light and life. They who have been converted in their adult years, after having lived an ungodly life, are better able to observe an evident difference when comparing the period prior to being under conviction and the period following their conviction.
Fourthly, it is not necessary that conversion be preceded by being greatly troubled, and by fear and trembling. Some are quietly changed by the knowledge of the truth, and without much strife and comfort. Others, due to the preciousness of the gospel, are changed in a joyful manner as Zacchaeus was. Others experience this in a way of falling and rising again, and we may therefore not conclude from one type of conversion that another conversion is not right.
Fifthly, even if you were motivated by self-love, you may from this not doubt your conversion. In this respect, self-love is a virtue and is the initial motivation of many -- if not all -- converted persons. The same argument applies if terror persuaded you. It is immaterial whether Naaman’s leprosy, the blindness of Bartimaeus, the curiosity of Zacchaeus, or the fear of the jailer have been the initial motives whereby you have been led to Christ. Therefore, do not occupy yourself with such thoughts. If you perceive true grace, acknowledge it and let your heart be encouraged thereby. The Third Cause of Doubt: Being Able to Believe Without Strife and Effort The third cause of doubt is the following: I am able to believe as frequently as I desire, doing so without strife and without effort. I hold before me the offer of grace along with the promises. I acquiesce in them and very readily surrender myself to the Lord Jesus. However, there is but little warmth and strength in it. I do not have a sensible sorrow for my sins, nor do I have a lively desire for peace, joy, holiness, and other benefits of the covenant. Instead, I am satisfied with the act of acquiescence itself. All this functions as weakly as a lame hand which we must place somewhere in order to grab something. The fingers are indeed in motion to take hold of something, but there is no strength to pull it to myself. On the one hand I am not troubled, and on the other hand I derive neither comfort nor joy from this feeble act of receiving. Sometimes it is an impossible task for me to believe. I can neither find Jesus nor receive Him by faith. I must be imagining things; I am but beating in the air and am not able to have a transaction with Jesus Himself. At critical moments, such as when I am in danger of death or am encountering another grievous trial, my faith succumbs and I experience great fear and anxiety. I do indeed cry out in prayer, but there is neither trust nor peace in doing so. I cannot come to Jesus; I cannot receive Him by faith; I cannot rely upon Him; and I cannot put my entire trust in Him. Sometimes it would be easier for me to keep the law perfectly than to believe in Christ. When reflecting upon how faith functions, I believe my faith to be but imaginary and the exercise of my intellect.
Answer: All this is evidence that you truly believe, and thus it ought not to deject you; rather, it should lift you up, for there is
(1) light, as well as a knowledge of misery, the spiritual benefits of the covenant of grace, and of the necessity of Jesus as Surety.
(2) true displeasure about being in a sinful state outside of Christ. There is delight in and a desire for reconciliation with God and all that flows out of it: peace, joy, and godliness.
(3) a true fleeing to Jesus, an acquiescing in His invitation and offer, and a surrendering to Him to be led unto salvation in a way pleasing to Him.
(4) a consciousness of the weakness of faith and a concern as to whether you truly believe -- all this being intermixed with a desire for a faith that is true, upright, and vigorous.
(5) a separation from the world, a taking pains not to sin, and an endeavoring to be aligned with Christ, His cause, and His people. Is not all this true for you? If you can say, in the presence of the Lord “Such is truly the case, but the difficulties mentioned make me think that all these matters within me cannot be the manifestation of true faith,” then know that faith and its manifestation are two distinct matters. Faith can truly be present in someone -- and indeed, faith is present where these activities of faith manifest themselves. Nevertheless, it can be that the desired results are absent at a given time and under given circumstances. The enlightened will represents the true state of the heart, even though the affections and passions are more inactive and do not stir in a sensible manner. Even though the stirrings of our emotions make us more conscious of our desires -- and thus render more comfort to beginners and little ones in grace -- the activity of the enlightened will is generally of a purer nature. Therefore, be not despondent if your emotions do not stir themselves as passionately -- as long as you are conscious of the extrinsic activities of the enlightened will. That it is rather easy for you to acquiesce in the offer of grace and to surrender yourself to Jesus, and that you are able to do it as frequently as you desire, is a manifestation of your gracious disposition. The veracity of this is confirmed by the fact that this transpires as a conscious exercise of the will, and that it is accompanied by some inner stirring to live pleasing unto the Lord in Christ. The fact that it is done in weakness, and is without efficacy to yield comfort and joy, is frequently due to a lack of zeal; for this you are to be reprimanded. Furthermore, it is a proof that in your daily walk you are not that intent upon having intimate fellowship with God. If you are worthy of rebuke in this, it is therefore not an evidence that you do not believe in truth. Be comforted by the one fact and be stirred up by the other.
What you designate as a faltering of your faith when in danger of death and other extraordinary circumstances is not the succumbing of your faith. Rather, the fruits of faith are being hindered from manifesting themselves, such as tranquility, peace, and the assurance of attaining the desired outcome. The fact that faith is active even then is evidenced by your looking unto Jesus, surrendering to Him, and crying out for grace and help through Jesus. However, the fear of death or another extraordinary mishap prevents you from giving heed to the promises. Furthermore, unbelief also manifests itself and will let its power be felt as well. This will cause you to be full of fear and anxiety concerning either the outcome of the matter, or the salvation of your soul. The fact that believing (which at times was such an easy task for you) is sometimes so difficult and impossible is because of a difference as to what you have in view. When believing is an easy work, you will be without strife and your focus will be on the extrinsic acts of faith; or else you do not have intimate fellowship with God and are dealing with all this in a superficial manner. Believing will be difficult and impossible, however, when you penetrate deeper into things and begin to engage your reason more, for the Word of God alone must be the foundation of your faith. Or else, you are then occupied with the fruits of faith -- that is, to have them in such a measure as you imagine they ought to be -- and to have an assurance that is free from anything that could engender doubt, as well as to have a confidence characterized by peace alone, without the least manifestation of fear. No wonder that this is an impossible task for you, for this is the Lord’s work, who gives to everyone as much as pleases Him. From all this you can observe that your faith is indeed feeble and deficient, but that it is nevertheless true within. This is the very purpose for having shown you all this, so that thereby you may be lifted out of your weakened condition and thus proceed in the way of uprightness with joy. The Fourth Cause of Doubt: The Opinion that Assurance Always Accompanies Faith The fourth cause of doubt is the opinion that assurance is considered to be of the essence of faith, or at least that faith is always accompanied by assurance. We then reason as follows: If my faith were true saving faith, I would be assured of my saving interest in Jesus and of salvation itself. There are times, however, when I cannot even find the infallible marks of grace -- faith and repentance -- from which I would dare to conclude that I have true grace. And if I do occasionally observe such marks in me, I nevertheless cannot come to this conclusion. I fear that I do not rightly understand the spiritual meaning of these marks as they are presented in the Word of God, and that which I discern in myself is not spiritual in the sense that Scripture delineates this to be. The Lord has never sealed it to my heart nor said to my soul, “I am thy salvation.” I am always sorrowful and oppressed and do not know what it means to have joy and gladness in God. I therefore fear that in the end I will have deceived myself.
Answer: Be assured that without the express assurance of our saving interest in Christ we can indeed be saved. Thousands who have never had this express assurance are already in heaven, and there will be thousands of such who will yet come there as well. To be assured is a sweet and desirable matter, and it cannot be but that a believer will long for this. If, however, it pleases the Lord to withhold this, a person is to be submissive and occupy himself with the exercise of the extrinsic acts of faith.
Secondly, assurance is not of the essence of faith. To insist on the contrary is a serious misunderstanding which is both outside of and contrary to the Word of God. The Word of God calls faith a coming to Jesus, a receiving of Him, a longing for Him, an entrusting of ourselves to Him, and a leaning and a relying upon Him. However, it never denotes faith as a being assured of having a saving interest in Him, and of attaining eternal felicity -- even though felicity is promised in consequence of faith and flows out of it.
Thirdly, the assurance of having a saving interest in Jesus can be entirely absent from faith. Consider, for instance, the cases we have discussed in a previous paragraph, such as when someone is fearful of death, is in danger of drowning, or has fallen into the hands of murderers, etc. If such a person with all his heart flees to Jesus, calls upon Him, urgently takes hold of Him, surrenders to Him, and casts himself into His hands, then there is faith. However, both the moment and the troubles at hand prevent all reflection upon self and one’s deeds, and thus all assurance is gone. If one were to die under such circumstances, he would enter heaven without assurance -- yes, with great fear and anxiety.
Fourthly, there is a distinction between the assurance which generally follows upon the steadfast exercise of faith, and the consciousness of being assured. If, with steadfastness, you exercise faith in Jesus with supplications, with application of the promises, with a good conscience, etc., and you then reflect upon the disposition of your soul, you shall perceive that at such a time a lively hope, tranquility, peace, contentment, or trust was present. However, during the time of strife which followed this exercise of faith you did not expressly give heed to this, nor did you take note of these matters by thinking, “Behold, this and this is indeed what I experienced.” Even though you may not have paid attention to this at that time, the manifestations of assurance were nevertheless there.
Fifthly, there is also a misconception about assurance. One designates assurance, and understands thereby the sensible enjoyment of heavenly benefits, or at least such a measure of assurance in which there neither is nor can be the least impediment. Such ought to know, however, that both the believer and his faith are imperfect, and will remain imperfect in this life. Thus, the unbelieving heart is always capable of bringing forth some doubts which would cast a cloud upon the assurance of the best among them. They therefore reject such doubts without giving any heed to these doubts. Assurance flows out of a syllogism. The major premise is then derived from the Word of God which describes the nature of saving faith, regeneration, faith and its activity -- declaring the promises to be for such. The assured person has light in this matter and is acquainted with the truth. Irrational arguments such as: “Maybe I misunderstand the Word of God and it possibly intends these things in a more spiritual sense than I do,” are rejected out of hand, knowing that the Word expresses itself succinctly and clearly, and that we are not to understand it in a natural, but in a spiritual sense. The minor premise is derived from our own heart and its inner motions as viewed by an omniscient God. We shall then declare that such and such is our condition, our consciences bearing witness to it. We indeed perceive and acknowledge the imperfections of the disposition of our heart and of its actions; nevertheless, we likewise perceive the genuineness of the graces which the Holy Spirit has planted there. From this we then draw the conclusion: “I am therefore in the state of grace, am born again, and have faith.” This is assurance. Sometimes these first two arguments can be clearly discerned, but the conclusion is nevertheless shrouded in darkness and yields but little strength and comfort. Sometimes the conclusion is also clear and yields comfort due to being assured of being a partaker of grace. Sometimes the Holy Spirit works more powerfully than is normally the case and gives an impression of these three arguments which is as clear as the one made by a seal in soft wax or lacquer. This is the sealing of the Spirit. Sometimes, in addition to this, the Holy Spirit will grant extraordinary illumination, and will not only grant assurance of being partakers of these matters, but also the sensible enjoyment of the sweetness and felicity of them. Believers would be delighted to have the latter and would be desirous that this were always so. We shall not oppose them in this desire; however, we do oppose them in their insistence that only the latter -- or at least the degree before this -- is assurance, thus deeming themselves to be without assurance if they miss this. Here is the snare which deprives them from being encouraged and joyful. Such ought to know, however, that God does not work these last two matters in everyone, nor does He do so at all times. The fact that a believer can derive neither comfort nor encouragement from the syllogism is not due to a lack of assurance, for the ability to develop this syllogism is assurance itself. Rather, it is due to a lack of historical faith whereby we fail to have a lively and clear perception of the Word as being the infallible truth -- even though we do not perceive this to be the difficulty. It can be due to an extraordinary darkness which has come upon the soul, rendering one unable to see the glorious matters and our blessedness. It can also be due to a deadness which has overtaken the soul in consequence of being too intent upon the immediate sealing of the Holy Spirit and the sensible enjoyment of grace itself, deeming this alone to be assurance and thereby despising the day of small things. You may indeed long for such immediate sealing and such revelations of God to your soul, as well as for the spiritual joy and gladness issuing forth from this. Know, however, that God in His sovereign good pleasure neither grants this to all, nor does so at all times. Be satisfied with the normal way in which God leads His children. Can you say, upon careful reflection, that you have never been assured? Have you never enjoyed tranquility and peace in your conscience upon the wrestling of faith? Have you never felt that God forgave you your sins? Have you never experienced that God was your God? I believe that you will not dare to deny this; or else you have been negligent in observing these matters. If you say: “I have had this in some measure, but I believe this to have been imaginary; else I would have retained this,” then I counsel you to stir up yourself by reflecting upon the days of old and keep yourself assured that God neither has changed, nor is able to change, in His grace toward you -- even though it is His normal way not to always allow His children to feel this. The Fifth Cause of Doubt: Being Overwhelmed by the Magnitude of Being a Recipient of Divine Grace The fifth doubt is engendered by the consideration of the magnitude of the matter. Some find true evidences of grace within themselves by which they could be assured that they are children of God. On the one hand, however, they receive a deep insight into the totality of their sinnership, and on the other hand they receive a deep insight into the magnitude of this matter. They consider what it means to be eternally loved by God; for Christ to have died for them out of love; and to have the Holy Spirit dwell in them as in a temple. They reflect upon what it means to be a child of God; to have God -- the majestic, holy, and glorious Creator and Lord of heaven and earth -- as their God; and to be heirs of eternal and incomprehensible felicity. When they then consider that God leaves nearly all men in their misery, condemns them due to their sin, makes but few the objects of His grace, and that they are among those few, they will deem this to be too great and unbelievable. They consider it to be too presumptuous for them to number themselves as one of them. This prevents them from coming to a conclusion about themselves and remaining assured of being in the state of grace -- a conclusion which they otherwise would make on the basis of the grace which they perceive within themselves.
Answer: It is a pity that you draw such a wrong conclusion from the perfections of God. How can we refrain ourselves from rebuking such? Since, however, it issues forth from feeble humility, we shall instruct you, hoping that you who are capable of being assured may, with joy and love, serve God as your God and, with a joyous hope upon eternal felicity, finish your course with joy and to the glory of God.
Therefore, you are first of all to know and be assured that even though it is too great for you to receive, it is not too great for the infinite One to give to you. You deem it to be presumptuous to assure yourself of being in a state of grace, even though you could come to this conclusion from clear evidences. Instead, it is an act of pride not to assure yourself; as if you would not want to receive more than you are worthy of, and would not want to place yourself under any obligation upon the receipt of benefits. In reasoning thus, you are grieving the very Benefactor who wishes to delight Himself in granting benefits to you. Therefore, receive it with joy and thanksgiving, and acknowledge the great goodness of God in bestowing incomprehensible benefits upon you, a wretched one.
Secondly, you must know that no one receives anything because they are worthy, or due to some good disposition, frame, and qualification which would move God to bless them. Others are as unworthy as you are. Nevertheless, they are willing to receive infinite benefits from God and to place themselves under eternal obligation. They are amazed about this, acknowledge the Lord’s goodness, and thank and glorify Him for it. They are glad that with Jacob they may say, “I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which Thou hast showed unto Thy servant” Genesis 32:10, and with David, “Who am I, O Lord God? and what is my house, that Thou hast brought me hitherto?” (2 Samuel 7:18). You ought to do likewise.
Thirdly, prior to calling you, God knew indeed who you were and what you would do; and yet He sent the gospel and His messengers to you. He called you, drew you, led you to the Mediator, granted you faith, converted you, granted you spiritual light and life, and has frequently comforted you and shown you that He loves you. If therefore, at the outset of your spiritual life, you did not deem it too great a matter to be saved, and you dared to flee to Him with many tears for His grace, would you then now (He having granted His grace to you) refuse this grace because it is too great a matter for you? Or are you of the opinion that God would change after all the benefits bestowed upon you, since He already knew you so well prior to this, as well as how you would behave yourself toward Him? Therefore, honor the Lord, and joyfully acknowledge the grace bestowed upon you.
Fourthly, God’s objective in bestowing grace and granting such great and infinite felicity -- doing so to but few and in contrast to many others, and to the greatest and most unworthy of sinners -- His objective, I repeat, is the glorification of Himself, so that in the revelation of His free grace, His infinite and incomprehensible love, and the riches of His mercy all the angels and all the elect would be amazed and rejoice, and that in beholding and magnifying this, their felicity would thus be increased. Observe this in the following passages: “To the praise of the glory of His grace, wherein He hath made us accepted in the Beloved” (Ephesians 1:6); “Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on Him to life everlasting” (1 Timothy 1:16). In order for the Lord to achieve this objective, there indeed had to be a great distinction between the sinner and the gifts of His grace. If you therefore perceive this great disparity within yourself, you must not be hindered by this in the acknowledgement of God’s grace. Rather, this ought to motivate you to acknowledge this and to be assured by the evidences of true grace, so that you would thus glorify God, and angels and men would glorify God concerning His grace in you. The Sixth Cause of Doubt: Not Being Able to Pray; and Prayer Not Being Answered The sixth doubt is engendered by being unable to pray and by not being heard. The argument is as follows: Believers have the Spirit of Christ, who is the Spirit of prayer, causing them to cry out, Abba, Father. He prays for them with groanings that cannot be uttered. However, I cannot pray. When I engage myself to pray, my heart closes up and I can hardly bring forth a word -- yes, my thoughts even begin to wander. And when I say something, it is but the work of my lips. My heart is not moved, my prayer does not penetrate, and it is as if I am speaking in the air. I cannot bring myself into the presence of God to address Him in an intimate manner. Much less am I able to do so with the appropriate humility, reverence, and faith that I shall be heard. And even if I am moved by a given matter, pray earnestly and repeatedly, I am nevertheless not heard and do not receive what I desire. However, God hears His elect and answers their prayers. This makes me despondent and causes me to think that I am not in the state of grace.
Answer: First, at one time or another, all God’s children are in this condition. Ask every believer who for some time has been a Christian and they will affirm it. Therefore, neither consider it to be strange nor conclude from this that you are without grace. If others encounter this, why would you not experience this? Job, David, and other saints have complained about this.
Secondly, it is indeed a grievous condition and a cause of backsliding in spiritual life. However, the grief over a negative frame, the desire to be permitted and to be able to pray, and the desire to be heard, show that there is yet life in the soul.
Thirdly, in retrospect you will have to acknowledge that it has not always been this way. Previously you were able to pray with strong crying and tears, and to persevere in doing so. Furthermore, God has occasionally demonstrated that He was pleased with your supplications and tears, and at times has also granted what you prayed for. However, the fact that you are presently not able to pray in this manner is perhaps due to:
(1) a desire to enjoy a high level of spirituality and intimacy at the very outset of prayer;
(2) beginning in your own strength -- not coming as a destitute sinner, praying for the ability to pray and for the Spirit of prayer so that you may be enabled to pray;
(3) being desirous to do or receive something extraordinary at your scheduled devotional time, even though in the meantime you can be very much engaged in ejaculatory prayer in the performance of your calling;
(4) spiritual darkness having come upon your soul, so that you cannot perceive the preciousness of the matters toward which your desires would otherwise be kindled;
(5) your affections being divided and there being too much cleaving to the things of this world;
(6) being lazy and unwilling to exert yourself to seek the Lord and to exercise yourself in prayer. Therefore, seek for the causes, and as much as is in you, remove them. Be diligent in acquainting yourself with the
Lord with a perfect heart, so that you will not be further estranged from Him and become more entangled in the creature.
Fourthly, do you dare to say that the Lord has never heard you? Your heart would rebuke you. The fact that you do not receive that which you have prayed for is due to:
(1) being listless in prayer;
(2) praying for matters which the Lord has not promised to give;
(3) asking for matters which the Lord has promised to give under the condition that it be of benefit to your godliness and salvation -- not what is best in your judgment, but what is according to God’s wise government relative to your life;
(4) it being the Lord’s intent to humble you and to show you that you are but a worm. Thus, you have nothing to say if God would not be pleased to give it to you -- and you must deem it a manifestation of inexpressible goodness to be permitted to pray.
(5) the Lord being desirous to perceive what your desires are, to see your tears, and to hear your voice;
(6) the Lord intending to prepare you so that you become the more fit to receive the desired matters, and make better use of them;
(7) the matters you desire being such that God does not grant them to you all at once, but gradually;
(8) the possibility of the Lord having answered your prayers and having granted you your desire, and you not having perceived it.
Indeed, the fact that you can neither pray (about which the soul is grieved) nor receive your desire upon your prayer ought not to cause you to be unbelieving, despondent, or fretful; for it is not a sign of being without grace. Rather, it is evidence of God’s wise and good dealings with you, thereby seeking your advantage. If you are insignificant in yourself, then remain as insignificant as a worm. Pray frequently according to the measure which the Lord is pleased to give you, and exert yourself even if you were to do this work but in a natural manner. It will, however, take on a spiritual dimension while you are thus engaged. Persevere in this way and the Lord will again visit you, teach you how to pray, answer your prayers, grant you the desire of your soul, or cause your desire to be satisfied by being content with His will. The Seventh Cause of Doubt: My Religion Proceeds from an Enlightened Mind The seventh cause of doubt is the following: I fear that all my religion only proceeds from an enlightened mind. I have been born and raised in the church; I know the doctrines and therefore only subscribe to them out of custom. Nothing deeply affects my heart, moves me, nor proceeds to bring forth a sensible sorrow, a lively sincerity, and comfort. My heart is not in anything, and nothing proceeds from my heart.
Answer: Such doubt is purely the result of ignorance concerning the functioning of the mind, the will or the heart, the affections, and man in general. Therefore, some instruction in this respect will suffice.
(1) We understand, comprehend, and know a matter by way of the mind, and judge as to whether it is true and whether it is good. This determination is not made in a vacuum, but rather as it relates to us; that is, whether we should pursue or avoid the matter, do or refrain from doing it.
(2) The heart or the will relates to the pleasure or displeasure toward, aversion or love for, and the desire or lack of desire for a given matter.
(3) The affections are the passions, the vehement emotions which manifest themselves in either fleeing from or pursuing a matter.
(4) When man engages himself, then it is the mind which is first activated, and man performs whatever he performs with his mind. The mind, in turn, renders the will active, and the will activates the affections.
Secondly, apply this now to yourself and observe the manner in which you function. The mind in and of itself only observes and judges something to be good or evil. It knows of no displeasure, sorrow, or longing; leaves the matter as it is; and is satisfied with having knowledge of the matter. If such is the case with you, you have reason to think that things are not right with you. If, however, the mind is joined by the will; that is, if you grieve over that which you miss and have a longing to enjoy or do a matter, then your heart is engaged. The heart is the will enlightened, and as such is displeased with sin, and finds pleasure in Christ and the way of salvation. It is thus that one takes the initiative to flee, seek, and be active. If you conduct yourself thus, you need not be concerned that you have nothing more than an enlightened mind.
Thirdly, your concern stems from the fact that your affections and sensible passions are mistaken for the heart. If these are absent, then you are of the opinion that the heart is not involved. However, this is a serious misunderstanding. One’s passions are frequently the result of his physical constitution. One person is much more vehement in his affections than another. Our passions are generally malevolent guides. He who engages himself very passionately is not necessarily engaged in a more sincere manner than he who is active by way of his enlightened will. A vehemence of passion generally manifests itself at the outset of conversion due to having much fear. Subsequently, however, the passions are in general not so vehement, there being a secret belief of having a saving interest in Christ. It can also be that the soul, so to speak, functions autonomously and with great exertion of mind reflects upon the mysteries of faith, embraces them with the will, and in such a frame finds its delight. However, sometimes the absence of affections is indicative of a lack of earnestness which is engendered by a familiarity with the matters at hand, by darkness, by despondency, or by laziness. From that perspective, this absence of affections is an undesirable matter, and one must strive to lift himself out of this. The absence of affections may, however, not be the cause of disowning your spiritual state, for your passions are not your heart; the heart is the enlightened will. If there is the inclination of the heart and you are conscious of the fact that it is Christ you seek after unto justification and sanctification; if in that frame you are fleeing unto Him, receiving Him, surrendering yourself to Him, and, motivated by the fear of God, you pray, flee, oppose evil, and pursue that which is good out of love to be pleasing unto the Lord -- then you may unreservedly be assured that you have grace, and should rejoice in this. The Eighth Cause of Doubt: A Being Fearful of Hypocrisy The eighth doubt pertains to suspecting ourselves of hypocrisy. We then reason as follows: “It cannot be that I have grace, for in nearly all my actions my conscience accuses me that I am being hypocritical. It appears as if I am serving God, but in reality I have myself in view. Whenever I sing, pray, lead in prayer in the presence of others, or do anything else while being observed by men, my heart immediately begins to reflect upon the people; that is, to gain their esteem, love, and praise. That is the wind which blows in the sails of my soul, activates me, and causes me to be zealous. Having performed something, I seek to know what people think of it. I like to hear that I am praised, and it makes me happy. This seeking after the favor of men is such a habitual tendency in me. Yes, even when I am alone and do something godly, my heart is reflecting upon how the people will react. Am I thus not an outright hypocrite? Furthermore, a double-hearted man is unstable in all his ways, whereas a steadfast disposition is reserved for the righteous. However, I am very unstable. At one moment I am zealous, and then lukewarm; at one moment I make progress, and then I stand still -- yes, I even regress; at one moment I have courage, and then I am despondent; at one moment I am elated, and then I am depressed; at one moment I have a tender conscience, my words and deeds being governed by the fear of God, and then again my sinful passions are on the run with me. Such is truly my condition, and therefore I cannot but think that I am a hypocrite, and a hypocrite is the object of God’s wrath and will have a most dreadful hell as his portion.”
Answer: First, all the foregoing matters are sins which are evil and worthy of rebuke. Without reservation you ought to humble yourself about this before God.
Secondly, it can be that you are too hard on yourself due to your hatred for hypocrisy, and due to your fear of being without grace. However, let us assume that all is as you have said it to be, and we shall consider you to be such. We would like you to answer the following questions.
(1) Are these ulterior motives your joy and delight, or are they a burden to you and a matter of grief and displeasure?
(2) Are these your true objective? Do they motivate you in your actions, and upon having achieved your goal, do you delight yourself in their having been your objective? Or do these ulterior motives slip in through the back door -- contrary to your wishes and intentions -- and do you pray to be delivered from them? Do they rob you of all the peace and joy you had upon having done a good work?
(3) Do you function better when you are alone and your transactions are between God and your soul; or are you better off spiritually when you are in the presence of people? In answering these questions sincerely in the presence of the Lord -- that is, without flattering yourself, or being detrimental to the condition of your heart -- you will be able to perceive what the motivating principle of your heart is: uprightness or hypocrisy. If it is your intent to seek yourself and you reflect upon how you may accomplish this, and if it is your joy and delight to do all this preferably in the presence of men rather than alone, you ought to admit to being a hypocrite (which you are), and repent. If, however, the seeking of self is a burden to you, grieves you, and you pray against it; if such ulterior motives slip in through the back door; if they trouble your soul and spoil what you have done; if you are much more intimate, spiritual, and upright when you are alone than when you are among people -- then you, upright ones (which you are), take courage from this, and do not disown your spiritual state.
However, you should know, first of all, that believers are only sanctified in part and that the seed of various sins still remains in them. No sin can ever be mortified so completely that it can never surface again. This remaining corruption will manifest itself outwardly, this being contingent upon the condition of the body, opportunities, and other circumstances. Therefore, the one godly person will fall more into a given sin than the other. For you the seeking of self is the chief sin. However, it is evident from that which has been said that it does not have dominion over you, but is resisted. You can thus observe that this sin is your enemy -- and if hypocrisy is your enemy, uprightness has become your natural disposition by the grace of God.
Secondly, it should be known that the fear of seeking self frequently causes us to think about the seeking of self. This will suggest to us that it is so, and the devil creates the illusion in our minds that we are seeking self. Some, not being aware of this, unjustly accuse themselves of this, whereas in truth it was nothing more than an illusion, an accusation, an enticement, or a fear that this is so. You must thus conclude that you are not a hypocrite, even though you are occasionally besieged by ulterior motives and occasionally fall victim to this contrary to your will.
Thirdly, instability is not a sign of hypocrisy when, upon faltering in this area, our heart principally is and remains knit to the Lord; when our failures are, so to speak, but momentary enchantments about which we are sorrowful; and when we are completely out of sorts upon deviating here and there from being steadfast of heart before God and in His way. Instead, this instability is indicative of the warfare between the spirit and the flesh -- a battle in which at one time the Spirit, and then again the flesh, has the upper hand. This proves that we are steadfast in principle, since the spirit, time and again, prevails and is grieved over the aberrations of the flesh. Therefore do not succumb so readily, but rather stand fast in the faith, conduct yourself manfully, and you will increase in strength. The Ninth Cause of Doubt: The Power of Corruption and Sin The ninth cause of doubt is the great corruption within and the power of sin. A person plagued by this doubt thinks: “Justification and sanctification always go hand in hand. When holiness is absent, regeneration, faith, and justification will also be absent. An unsanctified person is not in the state of grace. Not only do I find holiness to be absent within myself, but instead I perceive nothing but sin. I have such an evil, abominable, and defiled heart, which makes me believe that there is no one who has such an evil heart as I. From this heart issues forth all manner of vain and filthy thoughts about sin. I sin continually, and the sins within me are of such an abominable nature that I don’t even dare to mention them. I do not occasionally fall into these sins, but rather they have the upper hand and have dominion over me. When the inclination but arises, I immediately stand ready and commit these sins -- yes, I even stir up this inclination myself and reinforce it. What is even worse, it all occurs against a speaking conscience, indeed, against the realization of the presence of God, and against the express warnings of the Spirit in my heart. Thus, I can only conclude that I have committed the sin against the Holy Ghost, which will not be forgiven to all eternity. Therefore, all the hope which I entertained at one time is gone and I now number myself among the damned.”
Answer: First, be ashamed before God, the holy angels, and before men. Shame on you, oh sinful man! Truly, if all this is to be found in you, and there is nothing else besides this, you have every reason to believe that you are yet unconverted and without grace. Therefore, depart and repent with haste, for I have no comfort for you.
Secondly, it does occur that someone who truly has spiritual life is for a season overwhelmed and overcome by the power of sin -- as has just been depicted. However, even during such a season, spiritual life yet manifests itself. Yet, it is not detected when one is overwhelmed by corruption; and thus one falters in regard to faith and his spiritual state. We shall therefore demonstrate to such persons wherein spiritual life yet manifests itself, and thereby encourage those who are despondent, lift them out of this sinful condition, and restore them to a godly walk. The power of corruption as being a spiritual disease, and the regression of spiritual life, will be discussed in the following chapter. We shall therefore be brief on this subject and only show, to the encouragement of those who are despondent about their spiritual condition, what measure of grace still manifests itself in this battle, even though it suffers defeat at that moment.
Thirdly, give therefore your careful attention, do not argue; acknowledge that which is truthfully to be found in you.
(1) Do you have an inward aversion for the inner dimension of spiritual life, as well as for those who are truly godly; and are you with your whole heart attached to sin and to ungodly and unconverted decent persons, this being your only joy and delight? Or is the opposite to be found in you? Is there heartfelt aversion for sin as sin, as being contrary to the will of God, as well as for sinners and worldly people? Do you find delight and a love for a wholehearted uniting with the will of God and with the godly?
(2) Is there a deliberate intention to commit sin -- also when the passion for sin is not raging within -- without there being any opposition of the heart? Or are you inclined not to commit sin when the vehemence of passion is absent, and do so with a view upon God and Christ?
(3) When you are in such a sinful condition, are you then joyful and cheerful, or are you grieved, restless, and of an anxious spirit?
(4) Are you insensitive when sin is committed, or does it wound your soul and cause you grief?
(5) Are you content to remain in this condition, or is it your wholehearted desire to be delivered from this, and to serve the Lord with freedom and joy?
(6) Are you always in such a sinful condition, or are there times that you are able to deeply humble yourself with tears before the Lord, supplicate for grace, and flee to the Lord Jesus to obtain forgiveness by His blood -- by which you are united to God in Christ, though not yet in an assured sense? Do you at such a time make spirited resolutions to be on guard against those and all other sins, heartily crying out unto the Lord for strength, being presently convinced of your own impotence? Are there seasons which are characterized by a cleaving unto Christ, the fear of God, and having strength against sin? Calmly answer these questions. If you are convinced that the good which is presented in these questions is to be found in you, it is evident that there is still life in your soul and that sin does not have the dominion. Rather, spiritual life -- however feeble it may be -- desires the contrary, groans, supplicates and engages in holy warfare. As long as we are still struggling, sin has not yet gained a complete victory. The following proverb applies here: He who is down is still fighting. This also proves that you have not committed the sin against the Holy Ghost, for:
(1) man as such is not the object of this sin, but it is professed truth, and those people who confess and experience this confessed truth. There is in this sin an unyielding hatred for the entire cause of Christ.
(2) this sin is not opposed by an internal principle of spiritual life.
(3) such persons will never have remorse, nor ever desire forgiveness. It is true that sin is greatly aggravated if it is committed against an illuminated and lively conscience, and against the sensible warnings of the Holy Spirit; one ought to humble and abhor himself greatly concerning this. However, that is not the sin against the Holy Ghost, but the corruption of the residual old Adam who is to be distinguished from the new man. The old Adam is designated as the enemy, and the new man must be considered as the person one is. Paul did this: “Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me” (Romans 7:20).
If there is yet spiritual life in you, keep courage, lift up your head from out of your infirmities, and begin your battle by renewal in the power of God who, having begun a good work in you, will also finish it in the day of Christ. He does not forsake the work of His own hands, but “giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength” (Isaiah 40:29). Just as the Lord beholds the good which He has worked in you, you must do likewise. Acknowledge it to be of the Lord, and encourage yourself thereby. The Tenth Cause of Doubt: Unbelief Concerning Fundamental Doctrines The tenth doubt has its origin in unbelief concerning fundamental doctrines. Someone may say, “Wretch that I am, there is neither hope nor counsel for me, for I do not even believe that there is a God or that the Scriptures are divine truth. I doubt the existence of heaven and hell, the immortality of the soul, and whatever else is deemed to be invisible. Yes, I have blasphemous thoughts about God. All of this certainly cannot coexist with regeneration.”
Answer: Please refer to chapters 14 (Vol. #1, p. 381), 92 (p. ###193), and 93 (p. ###199) of this work. This is indeed a very grievous condition; however, it is not a sign of being unconverted. This befalls most of the godly, especially those who have a keen mind. You are therefore not to be without hope about your condition. You can very readily perceive that these doubts are but interjections, for:
First, you have not always been in this condition, and there are still intermissions in this condition, during which the love for communion with God manifests itself. He is your desire and in Him is all your delight. When He hides Himself, you are sorrowful; when you receive hope, you rejoice, and when He reveals Himself, you are delighted. To fear the Lord, do His will, and walk before His countenance in humility is the life of your soul; Christ is precious to you. Was it not thus in the past, and is it not thus intermittently? Therefore, reflect upon your previous experience.
Secondly, even when thus assaulted, evidences of spiritual life nevertheless manifest themselves. Why are you not at peace? How can you have a problem if the invisible is nonexistent and if there is no such thing as immortality? Therefore, eat, drink, yield to your lusts, for if there is no immortality, there is no sin and you do not have to anticipate judgment. When you hear such arguments, does not your love then surface? Wouldn’t you then begin to weep? Does this not demonstrate that you believe all this to be true and that these are but assaults of your corrupt heart and the devil? Consider especially how your heart is troubled about blasphemous thoughts. Why is this? Is it out of fear for punishment? You will perceive that this is not the primary cause, but rather that your being disturbed proceeds from the love of God, and this love cannot tolerate that we would think or speak anything that is unbecoming of God. Therefore, endure the storm patiently, for the Lord will rebuke Satan; these blasphemous thoughts are not your sins, but Satan’s. You merely hear them and this troubles you. The Lord will, by renewal, reveal Himself to your soul and declare that He exists, and is as He declares Himself to be in His Word. The Spirit will surely witness to you that the Spirit which speaks in the Word is the Spirit of truth. The Eleventh Cause of Doubt: Spiritual Darkness and Deadness The eleventh doubt arises from spiritual darkness and deadness. Such a person will say: “Oh, my condition is even more wretched than all the previous ones, for I deem those happy who have feeling and who endure strife. I, on the contrary, am dead. I indeed believe everything, but it is entirely without feeling. I am not sensible of either the favor or wrath of God, nor am I sensible of heaven, hell, godliness, or sin. Everything seems to me as if it had been but a dream. It is so far out of my reach that I can no longer see it; I am in Egyptian darkness. My devotional exercises have ceased; neither the Word of God nor the sermons affect me; rebukes do not trouble me; comforts render me no joy; nor do exhortations stir me. In one word, I am more dead and insensible than the most ungodly person, and thus I have neither spiritual life nor grace. My case is more hopeless than that of the most ungodly sinner.”
Answer: Your complaint is reasonable and your condition to be pitied; however, it is not beyond hope. We shall deal with this condition in depth in chapters 98 and 99. Here it presents itself to us as a reason for doubt as to whether we are in a state of grace. My response is as follows:
First, a great number of eminent saints have been in the same condition as you currently are, and you will not be the last one. Let this support you in your hope that you will be delivered from this.
Secondly, your state is not as dead as you imagine it to be. You deem the sensitivity of your affections to be the same as spiritual life itself; this is a serious misunderstanding. The enlightened will in its functioning toward God, and the way of God unto salvation through Jesus Christ, is the primary motion of spiritual life whereby the soul seeks union with God. If you now impartially judge yourselves, you will yet find this to be present.
Thirdly, a spiritually dead person is attracted to spiritually dead persons. Birds of a feather flock together and hate whatever is not like them. The ungodly seek the company of the ungodly; cultured people seek out cultured people; those who are externally religious seek fellowship with those who are like-minded, and collectively their hearts are opposed to those who are godly within. If you were dead indeed, you would love and hate as they do. However, the contrary is true for you, for the reprobate are despised in your eyes and you honor those that fear the Lord, and your heart is knit to them in love. Is this therefore not an evidence that you have been translated from death to life?
Fourthly, if you were as dead as you imagine yourself to be, from whence then does this displeasure with your condition, your sorrowful brooding, and your languishing proceed? A dead person does not have any feelings. However, the fact that you are sensible of your insensitivity shows that there is life, though it be feeble.
Fifthly, when spiritual life is held before you in its preciousness, consisting in sweet union with Jesus, a leaning in love upon Him, peace of conscience in light of the forgiveness of sins, and a humble and tender walk before the Lord -- aren’t you then acquainted with it? Does not your previous experience come to mind? If it could be given to you with one word, wouldn’t you then wholeheartedly and eagerly choose for this, there being love for such a disposition? These are indeed clear evidences that in all your deadness there is yet life, and that therefore you ought not to disown your state due to your deadness. The Twelfth Cause of Doubt: Daily Crosses The twelfth doubt is engendered by a bodily cross. Whoever is not tried in this respect does not know all that can transpire when everything is against him. It can be that we must see parents or children in all manner of misery or be rendered all manner of grief and sorrow by them; that we are ridiculed and despised by everyone; that we come into poverty so that we do not know how to maintain an honorable existence, pay our debts -- yes, where we shall obtain bread in order to keep ourselves and our families alive. It can also be that we are afflicted with lengthy periods of pain and discomfort, and are thus overwhelmed by crosses from all sides. If the Lord then hides Himself and we thus find neither comfort nor help, this would even cause a strong Christian to shake and tremble. Furthermore, if all this is conjoined by the subtle assaults of Satan, and in addition to this, our unbelieving, unmortified, and fretful heart manifests itself, our faith will readily falter as far as assurance is concerned. We are then ready to think that all these things come upon us in God’s wrath, and that we are not children of God, for we shall then think that if we were children of God, God would not desert us but would help us. Yes, we are then ready to doubt God’s providence, and many other thoughts and assaults will proceed from this.
Answer: First, this also is no reason to disown our state. Were not Job, Joseph, David, Jeremiah and all they of whom the Scriptures speak, true believers and in the state of grace? Does not the Lord Jesus give us an example of a gracious person in poor Lazarus? Nevertheless, his cross was both heavy and lengthy. How frequently Job and David sinned in such circumstances! Would you condemn all whom you have known and whose histories you have heard recounted, who have been in much more wretched circumstances according to the body than you; who have had to deal with and manifested impatience and unbelief concerning the cross -- would you condemn all of them as not having grace? Indeed not -- and thus you have no reason to disown your spiritual state.
Secondly, add to this the numerous declarations of God that it is His way to lead His people to heaven by way of manifold crosses: “Many are the afflictions of the righteous” (Psalms 34:19); “We must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22); “For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth. But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons” (Hebrews 12:8). From this you may perceive that chastisements and crosses are not a token of His wrath toward His own, but a token of His love. You may perhaps retort, “Toward His own -- but I do not believe that I am one of His own.” To this I respond that it is then an established fact that by the magnitude and the duration of the cross you cannot determine that you are without grace. Nevertheless you do so -- and improperly so.
Thirdly, the grace which is to be found in your heart will yet manifest itself in the midst of your cross-bearing, and this you are to note to your encouragement.
(1) What grieves you more: the cross, or the fact that you do not bear the cross well; that the cross is heavy and of such long duration, or that you are so impatient and fretful, fail to patiently humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, have doubts concerning the providence of God, and think, “Does God indeed take notice of man, consider his misery, and hear his prayers”?
(2) What do you desire more: reconciliation with God and the forgiveness of sins, or deliverance from the cross? What is more prominent in your seeking: to be content and to be submissive to the will of God, or merely to be relieved of the cross?
(3) What do you choose: that the cross be removed or that you be sanctified thereby -- yes, that the cross be not removed until it has accomplished its purpose, namely, the sanctification of your heart?
(4) If it were your choice either to be fully delivered from the cross, or to give it into the hands of the Lord, would you then choose the former or would you say, “No, I do not choose to be delivered from it, but I shall give it over entirely into the hands of the Lord”?
(5) Does it lead you further away from God? Do you cease to pray, supplicate and seek; or do you increasingly flee to the Lord, frequently bowing yourself silently under His chastisement, and humbly beseeching Him that -- in His favor -- you might receive some relief and deliverance in your perplexity, which you lay before the Lord as a child who unburdens himself? When you calmly examine these matters, cannot you then discern grace? If such is the case, hold fast to your spiritual state. The cross will then appear lighter to you, it will sanctify you more, and you will discover the good hand of the Lord to your comfort and deliverance. With David you will say, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn Thy statutes. I know, O Lord, that Thy judgments are right, and that Thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me” Psalms 119:71
Answer: First, the thoughts concerning the apostasy of the saints is but a fleeting temptation. You know better than that, and if you desire more instruction in this regard so that you may be steadfast, turn to chapter 100. [p. ###303]
Secondly, the promises concerning spiritual growth are always fulfilled -- be it to a greater or lesser degree -- according to the measure which the Lord has appointed for everyone. If a tree is planted in fertile soil, receives an appropriate amount of sunshine and rain, and is in the appropriate climate, it will grow. Such is also true of grace in a believer. If, however, a tree is continually carved or cut, or if people or animals continually shake it back and forth, or if insects are gnawing at the root, its growth will be prevented. Such is also true for a gracious person.
Thirdly, growth cannot be measured by the vehemence of passions. These have been more vehement in former times when the change initially occurred; when from dead we became alive, and when from darkness we came into the light. They were of a less spiritual nature, however, and you would not be as delighted with them as you now imagine; that is, if you were again in your initial condition. Rather, growth is to be discerned by being increasingly united to Christ, and by the activity which flows out of this union (cf. chapter 90, p. ###159).
Fourthly, it can be true that you are backsliding, for a believer can backslide -- not only as far as the outward manifestation of grace is concerned, but also as far as his habitual graces are concerned (cf. chapter 91, p. ###171). However, even in the state of backsliding he remains a believer, and grace is not withdrawn from him. Thus, there is indeed reason for sorrow when you backslide, but there is no reason to believe that you have been without grace prior to this.
Fifthly, upon evaluating yourself in an impartial manner, you will yet perceive that:
(1) you have spiritual light enabling you to know God and Christ; that you are acquainted with spiritual life and the benefits of the covenant of grace in their essential and spiritual nature; and that you discern that all knowledge of the natural man is nothing but darkness when compared to your own.
(2) there is grief and sorrow over your deficiency. Wherever there is feeling, there is yet life.
(3) there is a longing, yearning, and supplicating for the Spirit, comfort, and strength in order to live in a spiritual manner. Wherever there is hunger and thirst after righteousness -- after food -- there is yet life in the soul.
(4) upon perceiving the eminence of gracious souls, esteeming them, and siding with them and the cause of Christ in opposition to the world, there is yet the manifestation of the nature of a regenerate person. Is not such the case with you? Therefore, acknowledge that which is yet to be found in you. Esteem it as having been given you by God out of pure grace, and that it will also be preserved in you on the basis of so many precious promises, as well as God’s immutability and omnipotence. Therefore, do not capitulate by your backsliding, but hold fast the grace which you have and lift up again the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees.
We have thus presented to you the primary causes which trouble believers, causing them to doubt their spiritual state; and we have given our responses to them. There are certainly others, but they are of less importance. They can readily be resolved by what has been said in response to the doubts that have been dealt with.