Christian Marriage
Christian Marriage
INTRODUCTION
Notes taken from "The Home," by John R. Rice, and "A Guide for the Course in Marriage and Family Relationships," by Maria Fe G. Atienza.
Marriage was meant to be happy as it is the residue of sinless Eden, Genesis 1:28.
Proverbs 18:1-24; Proverbs 22:1-29, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." Marriage has been ordained of the Lord for the procreation of the race and the establishment of homes for children where happiness and joy can reign.
Marriage is the oldest human institution. It is older than the church or human government. We live in a day of low moral standards, when marriage vows are easily broken and divorce is considered common. God’s laws and standards do not change.
I. REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
To obey the command of God. Genesis 1:28, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth."
For fellowship. Genesis 2:18, "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone." The exception seems to be the pioneer missionary like the Apostle Paul in which 1 Corinthians 7:32 is true.
For partnership. Ecclesiastes 4:9-11. Two are better than one, for if they fall, one will lift up the other. It takes the two to make "one flesh." Genesis 2:24.
To satisfy biological desires. Man is born with certain desires that are good, holy and legitimate but can only be satisfied in marriage.
For the propagation of the human race, Genesis 1:28; Genesis 9:1.
WHOM TO MARRY Christians may only marry Christians.
1 Corinthians 6:14-17, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers." In God’s sight it is a travesty for a godly person and an ungodly one to be united in holy matrimony to be one flesh. How can they be one when one serves God, holiness and righteousness, while the other serves sin and Satan?
How can these who are so different form a true partners hip and have fellowship?
Christian ministers of the Gospel ought not to perform mixed marriages.
Generally a boy chooses a girl of mature Christian character with similar background, tastes, education, religion and interests, a little younger than himself. The girl accepts the proposal from a man who is of the same religion, background, education, likes and dislikes, who is a gentleman at all times.
WHEN TO MARRY
When God guides you into marriage after much prayer and seeking His will.
When you know the other person sufficiently well to know his or her likes and dislikes, good points and bad points. Hasty marriages are dangerous.
Wait for love. Infatuation, etc., is not sufficient. Marriage is for life and it will take Godly love (1 Corinthians 13:1-13) to make a happy home.
Wait until you are old enough to marry. Marriage is for adults, not for children, for it carries heavy responsibilities requiring maturity and experience.
Wait until moral problems are settled. Never marry a man to reform him. It is better to never marry a man whose habits can only mean bitterness and a ruined marriage and an unhappy home.
Wait for health. Marriage requires strong bodies. If after marriage sickness comes to you, your marriage vows require constant and loving care of the stricken member.
Wait for the approval of the girl’s parents. This is very important.
Wait for a measure of financial stability, not wealth, but some security.
PRINCIPLES OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE
A successful marriage is based on genuine heart agreement of the couple.
They must be willing to establish a Christian home, with the husband as head of the home, the wife a pleasant helpmeet, and with the family altar.
It must be based on a lifetime anticipation, "till death do us part." Marriage is not an experiment for a short time. It is permanent.
The successful marriage should have the blessing of children. Psalms 127:3-5.
"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord. . . happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them."
Genuine love is an essential to a happy marriage. Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives." Titus 2:4, wives "to love their husbands."
An honourable engagement tends to promote a happy, successful marriage.
Young ladies, beware of the man who wants a secret engagement!
Insist on a public Christian wedding. Never for a moment consider elopement or a secret marriage. Marriage is far too sacred for this.
Let both wholeheartedly agree to keep the marriage vows at any cost. If one partner is reluctant, then delay marriage, waiting for maturity and assurance.
Let both learn to pray together over every problem and misunderstanding.
Let each continually express his or her love for his or her partner, both by act and word.
ENGAGEMENT AND COURTSHIP
An engagement is the honourable announcement to the community that the couple plans to marry soon--likely within a year. To the couple, it is a time of getting better acquainted and ascertaining whether or not they are prepared for marriage and are really meant for one another.
It is natural that engaged couples will be together, talk together, and will exchange views on marriage, children, birth control, likes, ambitions, etc. But they must not take liberties one with another, for they are not married.
Marriage privileges MUST be reserved until after marriage, lest love turn to hate and mutual respect be lost completely, 2 Samuel 13:15.
Avoid petting and caressing lest passion override reason and will and ruin it all.
Let the couple be honest and sincere with one another. Do nothing that will hinder your private prayer life or Christian testimony.
It is very important for future happiness that both be virgins at marriage.
ADULTERY
Exodus 20:14, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," See also Exodus 20:17.
Only by seeing how God hates adultery can we see the sanctity of marriage.
Marriage is properly called "holy matrimony" for it is indeed a holy union.
God commanded the death penalty for adultery (death for both) Leviticus 20:10.
Adultery, the scarlet sin, is the only Scriptural ground for divorce, Matthew 19:9.
Venereal disease is the physical plague that God uses to punish guilty ones.
Adultery and fornication lead to hell, Proverbs 7:27; Proverbs 9:13-17; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
DIVORCE
Divorce was not in the original plan of God for mankind, Matthew 19:8.
Marriage is a lifetime contract. Matthew 19:6, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. " For one who receives a divorce for any other reason than adultery and marries another commits adultery, Matthew 19:9 The wife that is put away, may remarry, Deuteronomy 24:2.
Six reasons from 2 Corinthians 6:14-17, why a believer should not marry an unbeliever are:
God’s command, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
Righteousness hath no fellowship with unrighteousness.
Light hath no communion with darkness.
Christ hath no concord with Belial.
Believers have no part with infidels.
God’s temple has no agreement with idols.
CONCLUSION Make Christ the Head of the home-both Lord and Saviour of the home.
Let the husband maintain a tender love for his wife and children.
Let the wife develop the unselfish love of a wife and mother.
Let engaged couples and young people be much in prayer about this important subject.
REVIEW QUESTIONS
What is the oldest human institution?
Give two reasons for seeking a wife on the basis of Proverbs 18:22.
List five reasons for marriage.
List 6 reasons from 2 Corinthians 6:14-17, why a believer should not marry an unbeliever.
What six things should a man consider in choosing a wife?
Mention 8 things to consider in the timing of marriage.
Give ten principles of a happy marriage.
What great lesson can we learn from 2 Samuel 13:15 ?
What penalty does God impose on adultery?
What do we learn about marriage from Matthew 19:6; Matthew 19:8 ?