03.01a. Volume 1 contd
Creature ways and means
Then Saul had his own military clothes put on David. He put a bronze helmet on David’s head and had him put on armor. David strapped his sword on over the military clothes and tried to walk, but he was not used to them. "I cant walk in these," David said to Saul, "I’m not used to them." So David took them off. 1 Samuel 17:38-39
I have just come to David, and my soul is melted where he says, "I cant walk in these—I’m not used to them." They seem to me like creature ways and means, as if they were not to be my ways. For, like David, I can tell my experience of the Lord’s wonders by the hand of faith—when He delivered me out of the paw of the lion and the bear.
I see that, as is the man—so is his strength. If he is a man in the flesh—his strength will be in ways, and means, and fleshly contrivances. If he is a man in Christ—his strength will be in the Lord his God.
Blessed Jesus—You have made an end of sin, and conquered death. You have also drunk up all my hell. What can I render? Only my whole self, with all I have and am. It is not worth Your picking up. But love puts a value upon its object. My Lord, my life, my happiness, my heaven, my all! You have loved and chosen me—You will not turn away!
What will heaven be, where, without interruption or intermission—we shall love, adore, and praise?
This is just the experience I love—willing to be nothing, that Christ may be all in all.
How blessed is my condition! Though so vile a sinner in myself; yet chosen and beloved in Christ from all eternity—every blessing for time, all glory for eternity—secured to me in Him! Himself my blissful portion! Himself my endless treasure! Himself my ocean of love, my God and my glory!
My Lord, these hands and feet, this heart and tongue, and my whole self—afresh I consecrate to You. Oh, to spend and be spent in service for Your glory!
The eye of faith
"We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7
How sweet in every state to live on Jesus by simple faith, for the present moment, and leave the rest with Him.
How plainly do I see, that as the eye of faith is fixed singly upon Christ, we are ready for anything to which He calls us. But as we are walking by sense, and looking at things "seen," we are fit for nothing; the hands hang down, and the knees are feeble.
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:2
It is astonishing
It is astonishing that such a worm should be so favored with discoveries of His beauty, whom saints and angels gaze with ineffable delight. But, after all, I know not yet a thousandth part of what He is, and what I have in Him.
Surely Christ is all!
How little, how verily nothing, am I.
Oh! that my lips, my life, and every action, might speak His praise and glorify His name, who is a heaven to me!
If my sweetest Lord Jesus should blight outward things, I must still love the hand which smites, and crops, and withers, for He is all love and loveliness
—which thought melts my soul before Him. I find such deliciousness in Him, that all the bitters on earth seem as nothing in comparison.
As faith is kept, by the Spirit, in continued actings upon Christ, there will be much emptying, purging, and purifying; not making the flesh better—but
purifying from the flesh, and purging from dead works. The old nature will remain what it was, not a whit improved—but it will have starvation; for I
am quite certain that, as faith is feeding upon Christ, there will be more flesh-denying and crucifying than in any other way.
Oh, the overwhelming happiness of being yielded up by the Spirit’s power to Christ alone, and to daily crucifixion in all that the flesh loves and longs for!
The meltings and dissolvings of Christ’s love none can know, but those who experience them. Those who feel sin most, feel love most.
A high look and a proud heart the Lord will not allow, and yet these two abominations met in me this morning; and where? Ah! monster that I am—on entering the house of God! I felt the evil, and the rebuke of conscience; the Lord pardon. It is said, "He knows the proud afar off," but this I cannot bear. I must press near—even if it is to receive the stripes of love, and have my pride beaten out of me.
This affliction has been a very merciful one to me, giving fresh opportunity for the display of the love of Jesus, which has sweetly flowed into my soul, proving that He is better to me than all earthly mothers, fathers, husbands, brothers, or any other.
Oh, what have we in our precious Christ! Heart cannot conceive it, tongue cannot utter it! He is all love and loveliness, all glory and majesty. He is Jehovah manifested, communed with, and delighted in! It is heaven begun to dwell in His embrace—yes, heaven—while fettered in mortality, surrounded by creatures, and roared at by Satan too. Oh, for higher, loftier strains of praise to Jesus, my all in all.
I plead for no exemption from the trials of life, or the mortification, crucifixion, and continued disappointments of the flesh. But I do plead, that in and through all, I may be brought to closer, closer walking with Him who loved me, and gave Himself for me, and that nothing may be allowed to intervene to bring leanness of soul, or that dreaded coldness, lightness, and worldliness of spirit, at the thought of which I tremble and recoil. Oh, hear me, precious Jesus, and grant my one request—to be more like You, and more with You,
and that You may be more glorified in me.
It seems to me that Christ is the stooping-down of Jehovah; the arm of Jehovah, on which we can lean; the heart of Jehovah, of which we feel the sympathy; the eye of Jehovah, of which we can bear the glance—yes, whose look is love; the glory of Jehovah, upon which we can gaze unconsumed, and, while we gaze, are changed into the image thereof by the Spirit of the
Lord; the voice of Jehovah, which is music, melody, and peace; the revealing of Jehovah.
Oh, infinite abyss of love and joy, and peace, and grace, and truth, and holiness! my Christ, what is there not, what have I not, in You? In vain I try to ascend the wondrous heights, and explore the mighty depths! I am lost, overwhelmed, absorbed in love and You—almighty, boundless, matchless, endless love; "for God is love," and in this dwelling-place I would rest for evermore.
January 26th, 1840. Hot temptation, fiery darts, sharp conflicts. But Jesus is all-sufficient. In myself, I am weaker than the weakest, and quite unable to
bear the present heart-aching anguish, or stand against my traitorous foes. But in Christ, my Head, I am even now a conqueror.
My own dear, precious Jesus, You are mine—there is ecstasy in the thought! Amputate right hands, pluck out right eyes, where You see needful. Love
will guide the knife, and, though I suffer, my spirit cries, "Go on, dearest Lord—separate me from all that keeps me from You! Give Yourself in close
communion—and all is well."
April 8th, 1839. My Beloved has come again over the mountains of my sin and guilt. I can now shout, Victory, victory, through the blood of the Lamb! Oh,
the sweet, blessed visits my dear Lord pays me! Pen cannot write it, tongue cannot utter it. Praise Him, oh, praise Him!
March 27th, 1839. This naughty, naughty flesh is here yet, and distressingly active; the dear Lord be pleased to subdue it. Oh, my precious Savior, come
and conquer Your and my enemies. I want to be Yours alone, without one wandering desire. But, ah! it is not so. I need again the balsam of Your blood.
December 3rd, 1838. Arose this morning heavy and sin-burdened—but favored at family worship with near access, wrestling faith, and a sense of pardoning love. Wonderful! wonderful! Who is a pardoning God like You? "Truly, to the Lord our God belong forgivenesses, though I have sinned against Him."
My naughty, carnal nature is very active today! What a monster of iniquity—and a monument of mercy!
Surely I am, as the apostle says, am "example"—that none may despair!
This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners"—and I am the worst of them! But I received mercy because of this, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate the utmost patience as an example to those who would believe
in Him for eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:15-16
I want to be Spirit-taught, Spirit-led, Spirit-fed.
"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God." Romans 8:14
"When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth." John 16:13
By reason of sinful yielding to worldly care, my mind has been brought into guilt and darkness. May the Lord deliver me—He alone can. May He bestow upon me that penitent, broken heart which I desire—but cannot procure.
In fact, I find I must come to Him for all: sorrow for sin, pardon for sin, cleansing from pollution, deliverance from a guilty conscience, and the renewal of peace through the application of atoning blood.
Yes even a longing desire for these things must be given, or I shall lie in cold and stupid apathy!
So desperate is my case—one just fit for the intervention of a glorious Christ! May He again appear for me and to me. Ah! I do believe He will—ungrateful wretch though I am!
November 8th, 1834. Much deadness of soul lately, and much discovery of my extreme ignorance in Divine things. I long exceedingly for the Holy Spirit’s teaching. I am sure He alone can reveal Jesus in my soul. To have my
understanding informed will not satisfy. I want to feed upon Christ, to live upon Christ, to grow up into Christ, and to be rooted in Christ, esteeming all things but rubbish and dross for the excellency of the knowledge of Him. Instead of which, day after day passes, and I seem encrusted with earth and enveloped in carnality.
The Lord knows how to put a nail in the right place in the process of flesh crucifixion; namely, through some carnal affection that is growing too strong!
It will be inexpressibly painful to the flesh—but it is possible for the spirit to bow in submission, and see that it is in answer to prayer, while the flesh is struggling and suffering.
We are mistaken in thinking that our happiness in any measure depends on outward circumstances.
I know from experience, that, when favored with the light of the Lord’s countenance, and enjoying His smile—I can be happy in the midst of trials and afflictions. Why, then, so much anxiety about temporal things, and so little concern about spiritual prosperity?
Pardon me, dear Lord, and enable me to put a blank into your hands regarding outward things, or You to fill up as You please.
My heart is hard and unfeeling. Lord, revive me! I long to walk cheerfully in Your ways, enjoy daily communion with You, and bring forth fruit to Your glory. But begin to think I never shall, until I am more dead to the world. I believe the indulgence of a carnal spirit is the bane of my happiness. I would not always live, at this poor dying rate!
Divine and Almighty Spirit, condescend to deal with my poor dead soul! Enable me to . . .crucify the flesh, deny self, forsake the world, and be spiritually-minded.
July 19th, 1829. During the past week, I have been led to see a little more of the nature of the Christian warfare, and daily taking up the cross, than ever before.
It consists not merely in abstaining from those outward transgressions which are obvious to the view of others; but stedfastly resisting, in the strength of the Lord, those inward corruptions which are daily and hourly striving for mastery; and, also, in endeavoring to deny and subdue those sins, which, from habit and constitution, are as dear as a right hand, or a right eye. This is, indeed, a cross which we ought to be carrying; the moment we lay it down, and allow ourselves in any carnal indulgences, or sinful pleasure—that moment we bring guilt upon our souls, and lose that sweet peace, and serenity of mind, which is only found in reconciliation to, and communion with God.
October 10th, 1829. Most feelingly can I say with the poet—"Strange and mysterious is my life—what opposites I feel within!" For at times my whole mind and soul seem absorbed in desires after spirituality, and the enjoyment of the Divine presence; the world sinks into insignificance, and its enjoyments and pleasures lose their power to charm.
But soon, perhaps before one short day has passed away, some temptation is presented suited to my corrupt inclinations; and, catching the bait, I grovel
again in the dust, and give up my soul to the pursuit of trifles! Whence arises this inconsistency?
Again the Lord is proving to me the blessedness of taking up the cross—and also how much I shrink from it. I seek deliverance from the cross—but find my Lord has put deliverance in it. If I could writhe myself away from it, I would miss the blessing!
But when by His enablings it is taken up, there is indeed a new song put into my mouth, even praise to His name. The soul at such times seems to triumph
in Christ, something like Paul when reconciled to the thorn in the flesh.
Indeed, I feel it good to be laid low, and kept low at the feet of my precious Lord, though He is bringing it about in ways most unexpected and undesired.
I am much longing for humility, and He is laying open to me my pride by the painfulness I feel—in being made nothing. Truly His ways and His thoughts are astonishing—far above mine! His doings towards me are very wise and awesome—and worthy of a God who gives no account of His matters—but works all things after the counsel of His own will, and all things for good to those who love Him, and are the called according to His purpose.
If I had a thousand souls as black as hell
If I had a thousand souls as black as hell, I would trust them all to the love, blood, and righteousness of Emmanuel!
"He will save His people from their sins." Matthew 1:21
As long as we look to ’our evidences’ for comfort, we shall be full of disquiet, for we discover . . .such weakness in our faith, such wavering in our hope, such coldness in our love, yes, such shortcoming in everything, that we cannot find here any rest for the sole of our foot as regards spiritual confidence.
It must be all in Christ! "He is the rock, and His work is perfect," while our works are all broken and faulty. Oh! may the blessed Spirit set your feet upon this Rock, and establish your goings there. May He enable you to make the venture of faith, just as you are, with wants and woes, sins and fears.
The bitten Israelites were not healed by looking at their wounds—but at the brazen serpent, which was a type of Christ. And so while you are poring over your sins and yourself you will only sink lower.
May the blessed Spirit enable you to look forth with the eye of faith to the Lamb slain, and to come away from self and all besides—to Jesus.
Oh that I could so speak of the worthy Lamb as to set your heart on fire with love to Him and longing after Him! Adieu, dear friend. The Lord bless you, and in His own time strengthen, establish, and settle you.
With kind love in our adorable Emmanuel, I remain, though most unworthy, yours affectionately,
Ruth Bryan
"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
It is no honor to Jesus to be carrying your cares—which must sink you into gloom and dejection. All your weight of sins, sorrows, and cares the Burden-Bearer can sustain.
So whatever be your case, there is a remedy in Jesus, which the blessed Spirit will bring home and apply, causing you to sing that dear wilderness song, "He
restores my soul!"
"The rod and reproof give wisdom." Proverbs 29:15
All the ways of the Lord are right ways, and we lose much sweetness for lack of resignation to His will in all things. While we fret against the cross, it is felt the heavier. I believe, too, that we are losers by not receiving all events as from Him. By looking at second causes we come into great perplexity; and whatever creatures may intend against us, our Heavenly Father has some high purpose of grace in all that He allows to befall us. He could prevent every wrong, and He would, were not each bitter in our cup essential for His own glory and our real profit! The assurance of this has been very healing to my spirit many times under blights and losses, and also under mental wounds from those dear to me. I feel there is some personal lesson in all these things! And often, when I would have felt ready to censure ’the instrument’, I have discovered some pride or other lurking evil in myself, which the Lord aimed at by the troubling circumstance, intending by His Spirit to bring it to light and rebuke it. Thus has my mouth been stopped, and brought to kiss the hand which held the rod, however inexcusable in itself that rod might be.
Also, when the heart is thus humbled, the wrong of others against us seems but secondary to our own, albeit ours may be against the Lord only. Oh, let us
seek to be so instructed of the Lord that the rod and reproof may give wisdom. Let us aim at confiding love in Him, for He is infinite wisdom—and needs none of our interference.
July 20th, 1843.
Outward circumstances still tending downwards. The Lord teach us to descend, and make us willing to come as low as He pleases.
How am I plagued by my unamiabilities! Surely very few of the Lord’s people ever dwelt in such a crusty piece of flesh; and few were ever more painfully aware of it, or loathed themselves more completely. I would be what I
am not; and do what I do not. How can the Lord Jesus be honored in this matter? Is it possible?
I long to find in Him the remedy of this malady, the healing of this malignant sore—my unkind and selfish self. Oh that I could "glory in my infirmities, that His power may rest upon me," and be manifest in me. Methinks, if precious Jesus might be honored in the cure, it would be better than being whole in myself. But what if He sees fit I should not be cured? and will be glorified by my bearing the hated part of my disposition all my life? Then it is a grief, and I must bear it. But, Lord, "if You will, You can make me whole." Would it not honor You to subdue myself? You only know what I feel, and how I groan and mourn, that I do not honor You more in my exterior. "Lord, if You will, You can." Do speak to me on this subject. I inquire of You, "What will You have me to do?" Let faith go out upon You, my unseen Deliverer, for a yet unfelt deliverance. That I am not more amiable, in myself, will be well, if You will gain glory thereby—Yourself being manifested, and I subdued, and kept out of sight.
It is only ’Christ enjoyed’, which can loosen our hold of things seen, and of those earthly attractions which have long entwined themselves around the heart—for then we have found something infinitely better.
My beloved friend,
My main object in writing was to give you a word which melted my heart from Isaiah 50:1-11, a favorite chapter of mine, and in reading which our precious
Lord showed Himself lovingly through the following verse: "I gave My back to those who beat Me, and My cheeks to those who tore out My beard. I did not hide My face from scorn and spitting!"
No, He would hide us—by not hiding Himself!
He would be smitten—that by His stripes we might be healed.
Our living balm-tree would have the fearful incisions in His own flesh, that His balsamic virtues might flow out to our diseased souls.
Our well of Bethlehem was opened on Calvary. There may we poor sinners be gathered today, and clustering round His cross, drink freely of the best wine, drink away our sloth, and drink until we are wide awake in holy diligence, seeking for more of the living stream, and so feeding upon Him experimentally, live by Him.
Oh that holy, loving face, not hidden from such indignities for our sakes! I wonder and adore!
May your meditation of Him be sweet, and may He bring His prisoner the bread and the wine.
Your warmly-affectionate,
Ruth
My beloved friend,
I wonder if you got a new-year’s portion yesterday. Last night, while seeking Jesus, these words came to my mind with sweetness: "The soul of the diligent
shall be made fat." (Proverbs 13:4) Therefore I conclude they are to be my motto for the new year.
I feel them to be very reproving to my sluggish heart; but there is such sweetness in the mouth of our Beloved, that even a reproof from His dear lips falls
"For if the ministry of condemnation had glory, the ministry of righteousness overflows with even more glory!" 2 Corinthians 3:9
The ministry of condemnation was glorious, when it pleased the Lord to bruise Him. But the ministry of righteousness exceeds in glory—when the blessed Spirit brings near His righteousness, yes, puts it on the soul, saying, "Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him!" It is also exceedingly glorious when the righteous Father welcomes the prodigal with the kiss of everlasting love, being well pleased for Jesus’ righteousness’ sake; and when "the Lord our righteousness sees of the travail of His soul and is satisfied," saying, "You are all beautiful, my love! There is no spot in you!"
Then also is the poor soul richly satisfied, saying, "In the Lord I have righteousness and strength!" "I will make mention of your righteousness, even
of yours alone."
This is, indeed, a glorious ministry of righteousness, and is part of the abundance of Your house, my King and my God.
Here is food for hungry souls who have long been starving on the husks of SELF! And here is clothing for the naked soul, who has been into the "stripping-room," and had the filthy rags, and all the adornments of self stripped off!
O my precious friend, it is a mercy to be made and kept poor enough for Jesus to be all. In the midst of our own felt poverty, may we be content to have nothing in self, yet possess all things in Christ!
"You feed them from the abundance of Your own house, letting them drink from Your rivers of delight!" Psalms 36:8
Much-beloved in Jesus,
Though we have had so many feasts upon a precious Jesus, we find each time as much freshness as though we had never partaken before! This has been very striking to me. Things of earth often repeated grow stale—but the same view of a precious Jesus a thousand times over is ever new! How often has the Divine Spirit testified in our souls "of the sufferings of Christ—and the glory that would follow." How often have we by faith beheld His bloody sweat in the garden, and spent sweet solemn moments at the foot of the Cross!
Yet, when Jesus shows Himself again to us in either of those sacred positions—is He not as a lamb newly slain? And is not His sacrifice a sweet smelling aroma—as fragrant as though but just offered, without spot unto
God? Oh yes, He is ever the same—without sameness—and will be to all eternity! The glories, beauties, and excellencies of His person are infinite! And from these boundless sources our finite minds will be feasted forever
and ever!
Oh that my poor contracted heart were more enlarged into this our fathomless ocean of love and loveliness!
Oh to abide in Him forever!
"May He be like rain that falls on the cut grass, like spring showers that water the earth." Psalms 72:6
Much-beloved in Jesus,
This verse also has been very sweet to me—and I trust it has been fulfilled in my dry soul. How welcome the showers on the dry land, or on the mown grass! The waters from our smitten rock run in His dry places like a river. May the Lord grant us daily the renewings of the Holy Spirit, and cause His Word to do us good like a medicine, that we may be kept from a dry, barren spirit; though feeling that in ourselves we are very dry.
May the blessed Spirit exalt Jesus more and more in our experience, that all our casting down, may be for His lifting up!
With much tender love, your warmly-affectionate but unworthy,
Ruth
"I have asked one thing from the Lord; it is what I desire: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, gazing on the beauty of the Lord and seeking Him in His temple." (Psalms 27:4)
Christ is our true temple.
In Him we may inquire of the Lord concerning all our hard cases—and have an answer of peace. In Him we see the beauty of the Lord, even all His Divine attributes harmonizing and glorified in saving poor sinners! This is seeing the King in His beauty! And beauty indeed it is, in the eye of a sin-sick soul—to see the holy Jehovah "a just God, and a Savior" too. He was most just in punishing our sin in Jesus! He is most just also in letting us go free! Yes, accepting us in the Beloved!
The notes you sent me of the sermon about Jacob were very nice. The expression "unselfing" was striking. Do you not think that the revealing of
Christ to the soul, is the quickest of all means to effect this? John says, "When I saw Him I fell at His feet as dead"—typical of the bringing down of self.
I do humbly believe that the more we know Him in union, love, and power—the more zealous we shall be against "self" in all its varied forms.
Unbelief sets up self—what I do, what I do not do, what I ought to have done, and so on—until there is only a corner in the thoughts for the dear Substitute, who has done all, and done it well too!
But the more we receive of Him and His—or, in other words, the more Christ alone is exalted, the high towers of SELF are laid in the dust!
When unbelief and self are predominant it is sad work. May the Lord tread these abominations under His feet, even as straw is trodden down for the ash
heap. Oh! my beloved friend, we long for the days of the Son of man in our souls, for in His days the righteous flourish!
Oh! let us cry mightily for the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus. Oh! to know Him more. Oh! that He always would eclipse everything else!
I have seen enough in Jesus to ravish my heart, and make the brightest things below look dim! But I want to see Him again, for I know that there are in Him
infinite glories of which I have had yet no conception! "After these things Jesus showed himself again to His disciples." Amen, so let it be!
The Lord bless you and yours; and may Jesus shine warmly in your heart!
With dear love, ever your affectionate but unworthy,
Ruth
"Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written—Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree!" Galatians 3:13
Much-beloved friend,
I had a sweet season at the Lord’s table yesterday. My soul was touched to see my precious Jesus, the Lord of glory—in all His suffering circumstances; to see Him crowned with the curse, nailed on the tree of curse, and that between two thieves. What degradation! Oh! I could hardly bear it! "They shall look upon Him whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for Him." It is very humbling—but very sweet to meditate on the deep humiliation of that royal Sufferer! There it is that . . .hope springs up, mercy breaks out, and love flows to a vile sinner like me!
In the warm love of our unchanging Friend and Lord, ever yours most affectionately,
Ruth—a debtor to mercy and love.
"He is altogether lovely! This is my Lover, this my Friend!" Song of Solomon 5:16
Having once beheld the beauty of Jesus—no lower charms can satisfy. No other object fill the vacuum in our soul. Oh "Come quickly, my love! Move like a swift gazelle or a young deer on the mountains of spices!" (Song of Solomon 8:14)
Much-loved and tenderly-remembered friend, I have this morning much enjoyed those words, "I will sing of mercy and judgment: unto You, O Lord, will I sing." (Psalms 101:1)
Judgment to JESUS, and mercy to vile worthless ME! Mercy flowing warmly through His pierced heart and precious veins. What a channel wherein to flow!
Oh! what love of our Father to lay upon Him all our iniquities, to number Him with the transgressors, and then to give Him judgment without mercy, saving all the mercy for us rebellious younger children!
Oh! what a loving Elder Brother, who for the joy of our release and blessing, was content to be judged, condemned and executed!
And what a blessed Comforter who takes of these wonders and reveals them to the soul, making it to sing for joy! "Awake and sing, you who dwell in dust."
At times we do sadly cleave to the dust; but the power of His love revives us again, causing us to awake and sing!
And now adieu. Soon the shadows of time will be past, and we, through free grace, shall spend eternity together in the open vision of the Lamb!
In Him, your own warmly-affectionate,
Ruth
His love for His people does not cool in the least, in the midst of all our treacherous dealings. "Once again He will have compassion on us. He will trample our sins under His feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!"—having cast all our sins into the deep red sea of His own blood! "Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound!" And again we shall sing of pardoning mercy and restoring love!
Take courage. The precious blood of Jesus is more powerful for us—than sin, flesh, and all the foes against us. Whether at your worst, or at your best, do not be looking more at yourself than at Jesus. He is the way of escape, and He is the strength to endure; and we shall be helped in all, though we sometimes faint.
Warm love from the weakest and worst of all, your very affectionate,
Ruth
There are heights and depths in the love of Christ of which the most favored have no conception. And there are beauties and glories in His person which
none have yet beheld! Oh! I would have none rest short of the revelation of His person. His benefits indeed are all precious: His atoning blood and sacrifice,
His justifying righteousness, and the effects flowing therefrom—pardon, justification, peace in the conscience, etc., etc.
But it is a further and sweeter privilege to know and enjoy Himself! Salvation is sweet—but the Savior crowns all!
I must cease, though I seem to have said nothing of the endless, blissful theme—the love and loveliness of our dear Redeemer, the Redeemer of worms. May He favor you with His precious presence!
"May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it!" Ephesians 3:19
As Jesus is exalted in the soul
"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30
As Jesus is exalted in the soul, self is abased.
Most ardently do I long to grow in willingness to be poor in self, that I may be learning experimentally more of His unsearchable riches—who will be all or
nothing.
To His praise I must confess, that the more I am taken up with Him, the more blessedly do I realize His grace to be sufficient for me—and that amidst many trials and temptations, and through all the plague of indwelling sin.
I find sin is more subdued by looking at Him, rather than looking at it; because our Father has laid all our help upon this mighty One.
"Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?" Song of Solomon 8:5
"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste."
Song of Solomon 2:3
"Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens." Song of Solomon 2:2
I trust that you are coming up from the wilderness leaning upon your Beloved. He is the ’apple tree’ among the trees of the forest; while His Bride is the ’lily among thorns’.
With me it has been emptying from vessel to vessel, and finding plenty of dregs. I am willing to suffer anything—so that the wood, hay, and stubble may
be consumed, and Christ be all.
I commend you to the Brother born for adversity. May He draw you near to Himself, and open His stores of love.
With much tender love, your ever affectionate,
Ruth
"The unsearchable riches of Christ!" Ephesians 3:8
Oh! what free love, free grace, free mercy flows to poor sinners through the bleeding heart of a crucified Savior—all without money and without price! It is wine and milk indeed. Whatever crooks and twists I find in self, creatures, or circumstances—Jesus is always my only remedy, and in Him I discover something just to fit my case. All that we need is treasured up in Jesus!
Self is, indeed, a loathsome object, and all its words and deeds have a very ill savor; but Jesus is our place of refuge from it all. The fountain of His blood,
the robe of His righteousness, the arm of His power, and the bosom of His love just suit us as we travel through this dreary, dusty desert, encumbered with "the body of this death." And so while one makes us groan, the other makes us sing, "Thanks be unto God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Farewell, my dear friend. Soon will the shadows of time flee away—and we shall see our Beloved face to face!
With much warm love in Him, I remain, your ever affectionate but unworthy,
Ruth
I have been enjoying Jesus through Ezekiel 22:30-31 — "I searched for a man to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land, but I found no one. So now I will pour out my fury on them, consuming them in the fire of My anger. I will heap on them the full penalty for all their sins, says the Sovereign Lord."
A man was sought for to stand in the gap; but none being found, the indignation and wrath came upon the guilty party. It must fall somewhere—God’s judgment must be executed!
But mark the contrast. For us a Man is found! He comes forth from the invisibility of Jehovah, and in the likeness of man undertakes our cause. He saw there was no other, therefore He said, "Here am I, send Me!" And in the fullness of time He came and stood in the gap, and filled up the breach
in the law; and on His holy head fell our storm of wrath and punishment! Thus He became our covert and hiding-place!
"Your eyes shall see the King in His beauty." Isaiah 33:17
O my glorious Christ, what will it be to see You, face to face, in Your own light—and be absorbed in Your love!
This is the climax of love’s anticipations; these are the mountains of myrrh and hills of frankincense—even His perfections, His glory, and His transporting charms!
Oh! methinks how riveted I shall be; eternal ages will roll on, but still my eyes and heart will have room for no other object but for Him, who died for my sake, but is alive again—my Lord, my life, my all!
Those love-prints in His hands, and feet, and side; that precious body broken for you and for me; I shall behold! I shall gaze upon them; and from the scars of those once bleeding wounds, unutterable radiations of glory will beam
forth forever!
"But now He has appeared one time, at the end of the ages, for the removal of sin by the sacrifice of Himself!" Hebrews 9:26
These rich words still follow me.
That word "sin" feels weighty to a sensible sinner. But oh! that word "Himself!" seems a million times more weighty!
"Himself!" the mighty God, the precious Man Christ Jesus!
"Himself!" by whom all things were created, and for whom they exist!
"Himself!" whose smile is heaven, whose frown is hell!
"Himself!" whom all angels worship, and all devils obey!
"Himself!" the sacrifice!
Another such sacrifice could not be found! Sins deep as hell and high as heaven cannot overmatch it, for it is infinite! Sins of scarlet and crimson dye cannot resist its power, for it makes them whiter than snow!
See as as much as you can of the vileness of self, and the demerit of sin—yet "Himself!" a bleeding sacrifice, exceeds it all! Here is the sweet-smelling savor, or savor of rest, both to the Lawgiver and the lawbreaker. The Lawgiver is honored, the lawbreaker is saved!
See how He stands most lovingly, as with open arms, saying to every laboring, weary, heavy-laden sinner, "Come!" "Come unto Me, and I will give you rest!"
"I still receive sinners, to the uttermost I save them, and never am weary of healing their backslidings, forgiving all their iniquities, and multiplying pardons
as they multiply transgressions against Me. I blot all out with My blood, and love them freely and forever!"
Sinner, will not this suffice? It will if the Spirit applies it—and opens in a little measure Himself and His sacrifice in contrast to yourself and your sins. It will take eternity to know it fully; but that your heart may find rest and refreshing in it now, is my affectionate prayer.
"But now He has appeared one time, at the end of the ages, for the removal of sin by the sacrifice of Himself!" Hebrews 9:26
This is a day of much lip-profession without real heart work. "The kingdom of God is not in word, but in power." "The kingdom of God is within you." This is what Satan seems in this day to be most fighting against. He does not oppose ’a general profession of religion’, which is now deemed respectable. Nor does he mind great strictness in outward religious forms—as that is often a means of lulling the conscience into false peace. He will not even disturb a sound creed, and much zeal in contending for the truth of the Bible—so long as the truths rest only in the natural mind, whereby they induce vain confidence and terrible self-deceiving!
The great enemy of souls will endeavor to keep all in peace who have ’a name to live, but are dead.’ And if one of his subjects passes over either from gross sins or from the more refined pleasures of this perishing world to an ’outward profession’—he will not be alarmed. For he cares not whether souls perish under the title of ’worldling’ or of ’Christian’—so long as he gets them into his own fearful damnation.
Nay, I believe if he sees one become restless under some sense of sin, and that he cannot urge that poor soul on further in the old sinful way—he will transform himself into an angel of light, and recommend reformation and external religious duties, such as reading and hearing the Word—taking care to substitute the ’form’ for ’power’.
Oh! the dreadful danger of such souls, soothed into carnal security! They are only blinded to their danger—not delivered from it. Better were it to endure years of anguish in weeping, and seeking for mercy by Jesus Christ—than to be turned to such "a refuge of lies," and to walk in such "sparks of their own kindling." Better to walk in sorrow all one’s life—than to lie down in sorrow at death to end in eternal woe! May the Lord deliver souls thus deceived from this snare of the great fowler, so that they may thankfully say, "The snare
is broken, and we are escaped" by Divine power into that kingdom of God which is not outward things, such food and drink—but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Ah! my beloved friend, it is this stronghold which Satan fights against—and fallen flesh is in league with him! He may tolerate outward forms and external religious exercises—but inward power is represented as contemptible, unreasonable, and is called fanaticism and enthusiasm! Yet without this divine life within, no soul of man can be saved, as the great day shall declare. It is, indeed, fearful to think what that dreadful day will reveal; and of all characters, I think those are in the most fearful condition—who have had Christ on the lip—but not in the heart, as in Matthew 7:21-23.
True it is, that our vigilant foe does not mind a new creed—but he hates a new heart! He does not object to outward reformation—but hates inward regeneration. He does not fear good words of prayer on the lip—but he well knows he shall suffer loss when it is said of a soul, "Behold, he prays;" for,
"Satan trembles when he sees The weakest saint upon his knees."
O you trembling souls, let not the subtle serpent drive you from this stronghold! Your God will hear and help you!
What can be weaker than a worm? Yet the Lord says, "Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I myself will help you—declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. I am holding you by your right hand—I, the Lord your God. And I say to you—Do not be afraid. I am here to help you." "But now, O Israel, the Lord who created you says—Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior!" These are sweet cordials for a time of weakness and trial. (Isaiah 41:13-14; Isaiah 43:1-3)
"The more they were afflicted, the more they multiplied and grew." Exodus 1:12
Often, indeed, is it thus with the spiritual seed of Abraham, being "chastened by the Lord" there is growth out of SELF—into Christ! Blessed is it when we turn away from every creature expectation, and pour out our hearts before Him. The Lord grant you like experience, that with me you may say, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted!"
My heart earnestly desires for you that the present afflictive dispensation, may be very much sanctified, that the Lord’s name may be glorified, and you come
forth as gold, saying, "I know, O Lord, that in faithfulness You have afflicted me;" and heartily choosing, as Moses did, "to suffer affliction with the people of God, rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season."
"For though our cup seems mixed with gall, There’s something secret sweetens all."
Is it not so? Have you not found some drops of Divine love in this bitter cup? May the Beloved further show Himself through this lattice, and walk with you in this furnace, causing some fetters to be burned off—that you may freely walk in the way of His commandments. It is better to walk with Jesus in the fire, than to walk after the flesh in the slippery places of worldly indulgence and carnal security. I trust He has special favor towards you, and means to have you walk very closely with Himself. Would that I could speak more worthily of our precious Well-Beloved—who may safely be trusted in the flood and in the flame! Praise Him, O our souls! Adieu, much-beloved!
Your very affectionately,
Ruth
In the precious Name which is above every name, I come to inquire—Is it well with you? Does the vine flourish, and the tender grape appear? (Song of Solomon 6:11) and do you find the savor of the Beloved’s ointments give a very good fragrance? Is Jesus increasingly precious, more than ever desirable? Is He, in your esteem, better than rubies, and all the things that may lawfully be desired not to be compared to Him? Is the Holy Spirit sharpening your appetite for this Bread of Life, so that with more ardent longings you are saying, "None but Jesus!"
When He is in the right place, other things will be so; it is His rising in the soul that makes them sink to their proper level. And oh! He is so worthy, so suitable, so altogether lovely—we cannot prize Him too much, or hold Him too fast, or lean on Him too heavily!
My highest praise of Him is far below His worth; but through rich grace, I, a vile sinner, have tasted and handled of this precious Word of life, and found such blessed benefit, such soul-invigoration, that I want to set others longing for these royal dainties!
Satan is ever striving to divert the mind from this blessed Object. He will allure or alarm, he will use what is pleasing or painful—anything to keep the soul from delighting in Jesus, and looking unto Him. Nevertheless, all those who are ordained unto eternal life shall believe in spite of his efforts; and all those in
eternal union with Christ, shall close with Him by living faith. Cords of love shall entwine, and ropes of kindness shall draw—until the poor soul is brought into conscious union with the Beloved, and can say, "He loved me, and gave Himself for me!"
"Yes, He is very precious to you who believe!" 1 Peter 2:7
I greet you affectionately in that dear name which, when breathed into the soul by the Holy Spirit, is truly precious. Precious indeed He is, but not to the carnal mind; to such He has no loveliness, no beauty, that they should desire Him. There must be . . .spiritual life, spiritual sight, and spiritual appetite, before a glorious Christ can be appreciated in His preciousness and suitability!
Truly it makes my heart glow to see Jesus as our Champion on the battlefield, vanquishing our foes . . .Satan, sin, the world, our old man, and death itself!
They have all been so overcome by our spiritual David, that they shall never be the destruction of the least lamb in His flock. The lion and the bear may come out together against them, and seem just ready to devour; but He will arise, smite the beasts of prey, deliver His trembling one, and none shall pluck it out of His hand!
This is precious consolation to such as feel they have no might at all, and feel, too . . .the world drawing, Satan tempting, sin striving, and the flesh lusting.
Oh, what would we do at such times if we had not One to fight for us, and fight in us too! We would certainly be "swallowed up quick." But the Lord has laid help upon "One who is mighty;" and this mighty One who is for us, is more than all who can be against us. What makes it so beautiful is, that He Himself is our very strength and victory; so that our weakness and inability are no hindrance at all. Of this one of old was so well convinced, that he exclaimed, "When I am weak, then am I strong." What a paradox to carnal reason! and how long we are learning this lesson perfectly, by reason of the working of our carnality and self-love!
He plunges us in the ditch!
Our Father has determined that Christ shall be all, and we nothing. To accomplish this experimentally, He undoes our work. When we have been washing with soap, He plunges us in the ditch! When we seem to be getting on a little better than usual, He turns us upside down. This is hard work, and while the process is going on, we think it must be for destruction, for we appear to grow worse and worse! But in truth it is for salvation—to show ourselves to ourselves, to bring us to forsake ourselves, and to give us Christ, instead of ourselves.
Oh, what a blessed exchange!
It is worth being spoiled in all the labor of our hands, and marred in our very best things—to possess such a treasure!
There can be no drinking of the ’living waters’ while we have a price in our hand, be it much or little. There can be no buying the gospel wine and milk
while we have any money. There can be no triumphing in "the Lord our righteousness," while we are hunting about for shreds of our own, and sewing them together.
All this is Christ-rejecting and God-dishonoring!
Therefore be not cast down at the Lord’s ways towards you, for if we are anything, or have anything—Jesus cannot be everything. And if He is not everything, He is nothing. He must be all—for holiness, for happiness, for justification, for sanctification, for acceptable appearing before God, for suitable walking before men, for holy living, for happy dying.
In short, our Father has "blessed us with all spiritual blessings in Him." And the reason we do not enjoy them more is because we seek them in ourselves! Oh to have the single eye which looks at Jesus only! Then would our whole body be "full of light."
But thus to venture right away from self is a venture indeed—and can only be done by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Jesus is such a Savior, so mighty and so merciful, that mountains of the blackest guilt may be safely trusted with Him—His rich atoning blood will cleanse from all!
Jesus has gathered up all the inherent and actual sin of His people, and thrown it into the ocean of redeeming blood, where it sinks like lead in the mighty waters, and never shall rise to condemn them to death.
"You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!" Micah 7:19
In due time He enables faith to do the same thing, to keep casting the felt and hated filth of sin into the Red Sea of His precious blood.