Anger in Christian preaching is seen as a powerful emotion that can either lead to destructive sin or righteous defense of truth, depending on its control and intent (Ephesians 4:26-27). Illustrations often use vivid images like wild animals, familial conflicts, or historical figures to show anger's potential for harm when unchecked and the wisdom of self-restraint and reflection to cure it.
You don't have to let anger get the best of you.
Jesus maintained control by remaining focused on the will of the Father, rather than defending Himself from personal attacks.
1. Imitate Jesus' example. Eph 4:26, Luke 23:34, Heb 12:2-3
2. Don't operate on feelings. Prov 29:11, Isa 30:15, Prov 15:1
3. Rely on His power. Phil 4:13
4. A lesson from David and Abigail. 1 Sam 25:2-35, Prov 16:32
Dr. Walter Cannon, a pioneer researcher in psychosomatic medicine at Harvard Univ., describes what happens to the human body when it becomes angry: "Respiration deepens; the heart beats more rapidly; the arterial pressure rises; the blood is shifted from the stomach and intestines to the heart, central nervous system, and the muscles; the processes of the alimentary canal cease; sugar is freed from the reserves in the liver; the spleen contracts and discharges its contents of concentrated corpuscles, and adrenalin is secreted." You don't want to hold all of that in! It will make you sick!
"Anyone can become angry -- that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and it is not easy." - Aristotle
Any person who can make his opponent lose his temper can defeat him whether it be an athletic contest, debate, or personal encounter. A guide commenting on the height of a mountain range in South America made this statement about a certain jagged volcanic mountain, "This would have been our tallest if it had not blown its top." This can be said of many people who could not maintain the composure of coolness. --Charles Ashcraft - Pulpit Helps, Dec. 1991, p. 12.
In the Summer of 1994 Columbian soccer star Andres Escobar accidentally knocked the ball past his goalie into his own team's net, giving the United States a 1-0 lead over the heavily favored Columbians. The U.S. went on to win 2-1 in a huge upset. Columbia was eliminated from the World Cup. A few days later, at a bar outside of Medellin, Columbia, Andres Escobar was murdered in what police called "an execution." Just before he shot Escobar, one of the assailants reportedly said, "Thanks for the goal."
Ray Stedman, in one of his books, writes about seeing a famous picture that appeared in a news magazine during the Vietnamese war. Perhaps you remember it. It showed a South Vietnamese officer executing a Viet Cong. Someone wrote in to the magazine and said: "What a terrible thing! There stands that turtle-headed little man pointing a pistol at this man's head and shooting him in cold blood. How could a man do a thing like that!" In the next issue this perceptive reply appeared : "The reader asks, `What causes a man to act like that?' The answer is: the same thing that causes someone to call another person `a turtle-headed little man.'" (Ray Stedman, THE BEGINNINGS, Waco, TX: Word Books, 1978, p. 22)
Productive Anger
Many years ago during a Knicks-Bullets playoff game, one of the Bullets came up from behind the great Walt Frazier and punched him in the face. Strangely, the referee called a foul on Frazier. Frazier didn't complain. His expression never changed. He simply called for the ball and put in seven straight shots to win the game, an amazing display of productive anger. If you want to get huffy about it, it was a great moral lesson as well.
A gunman entered a Fort Worth Baptist church during an evening prayer rally Sept. 15, killing seven people, including three Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary students, before he sat down on a back pew and killed himself.
The long-haired man dressed in jeans and a black jacket, spouting obscenities and cursing worshippers opened fire on about 200 people in the Wedgwood Baptist Church sanctuary. The church was hosting an area-wide rally for the annual See You At The Pole prayer event, celebrating earlier rallies held at school flagpoles around the country.
The shooting rampage also sent seven others to three area hospitals, some with critical gunshot wounds. ...
The gunman was identified by authorities as Larry Gene Ashbrook, 47, of Forest Hill, a Fort Worth suburb. He was described by neighbors as reclusive who occasionally flashed a temper. Neighbors did not know whether he had any religious convictions but one neighbor said he "has been strange as long as I can remember." Authorities could give no motive for the shootings.
Later that night the church's Internet web site called the shootings an "incomprehensible tragedy. We don't understand why these things happen. God we don't understand. But you don't call us to understand ... just to serve," the statement said. It listed the casualties: "eight dead (including the gunman); seven injured; everyone else -- changed. ... We still serve an awesome God!" ...
"When the first round was done I heard the clip hit the floor and he reloaded," Adam Hammond recalled. "The next thing I knew one of my youth stood up and said 'Sir, I know what you need, you need Jesus Christ in your life'," Hammond said, amazed at the bravery of the 19-year-old. The gunman responded with a muffled comment about why the boy was standing when the youth continued, "I know where I'm going when I die, what about you?" Then, a pause. The gunman sat down on the back pew and took his own life. ...
"I thought I would die there. I didn't know what to do, I don't guess anyone does until you're in that situation, but I can't dwell on all the what ifs."
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(Contributing to this release: Heather Stewart, director of information services at Florida Baptist Theological College, Graceville, Fla.; Public Relations office of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Fort Worth, Texas; and Debbie Moore, Charleston, W.Va., free-lance writer for Baptist Press.)
STAYING ANGRY PROTECTS US FROM GETTING HURT AGAIN, BUT AT WHAT PRICE?
THEN PETER CAME AND SAID TO HIM, "LORD, IF ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE CHURCH SINS AGAINST ME, HOW OFTEN SHOULD I FORGIVE? AS MANY AS SEVEN TIMES?" JESUS SAID TO HIM, "NOT SEVEN TIMES, BUT, I TELL YOU, SEVENTY-SEVEN TIMES." (MATT. 18:21-22, NRSV)
In case you have not noticed, Christianity is a religion in which the sinners have all the advantages. They can step on your feet 50 times and you are supposed to keep smiling. They can talk bad about you every time you leave the room and it is your job to excuse them with no thought of getting even. The burden is on you, because you have been forgiven yourself, and God expects you to do unto others as God has done unto you.
This is not a bad motivation for learning how to forgive. If God is willing to stay with me in spite of my meanness, my weakness, my stubborn self-righteousness, then who am I to hold those same things against someone else? Better I should confess my own sins than keep track of yours, only it is hard to stay focused on my shortcomings. I would so much rather stay focused on yours, especially when they are hurtful to me.
Staying angry with you is how I protect myself from you. Refusing to forgive you is not only how I punish you; it is also how I keep you from getting close enough to hurt me again, and nine times out of ten it works -- only there is a serious side effect. It is called bitterness, and it can do terrible things to the human body and soul.
Once on a trip into Atlanta I stopped at a gift shop to buy a couple of wedding presents, some nice brass picture frames, which I asked the clerk to wrap. "Well, what is the occasion?" she snarled. "Are you going to tell me or am I supposed to guess?" I looked at her then for the first time and saw a heavy, middle-aged woman whose brow was all bunched up over two hard, cold eyes. Her mouth turned down at the sides like she had just tasted something rancid, and she had both her hands planted on the glass counter, leaning against it with such malice that I thought she might push it over on me if I irritated her any further.
Generally speaking, I get mad when someone comes at me like that, but this time I just got scared because I could see what her anger had done to her, and I wanted to get away from it before it did something similar to me. Actually, it was something stronger than plain anger that had twisted that woman's face. All by itself, anger is not that damaging. It is not much more than that quick rush of adrenaline you feel when you are being threatened. It tells you that something you hold dear is in danger -- your property, your beliefs, your physical safety. I think of anger as a kind of flashing yellow light. "Caution," it says, "something is going on here. Slow down and see if you can figure out what it is."
When I do slow down, I can usually learn something from my anger, and if I am lucky I can use the energy of it to push for change in myself or in my relationships with others. Often I can see my own part in what I am angry about, and that helps, because if I had a hand in it, then I can concentrate on getting my hand back out of it again instead of spinning my wheels in blame. I can, in other words, figure out what my anger has to teach me and then let it go, but when my anger goes on and on without my learning or changing anything, then it is not plain anger anymore. It has become bitterness instead. It has become resentment, which a friend of mine calls "arthritis of the spirit."
So there is another motivation for learning how to forgive -- not only because we owe it to God, but because we owe it to ourselves. Because resentment deforms us. Because unforgiveness is a boomerang. We use it to protect ourselves -- to hurt back before we can be hurt again -- but it has a sinister way of circling right back at us so that we become the victims of our own ill will.
One summer the NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW ran a series on the deadly sins. Joyce Carol Oates wrote on despair, Gore Vidal wrote on pride, and John Updike, of all people, wrote on lust. Mary Gordon's essay on anger was a real beauty, chiefly because she was willing to admit she knew a lot about it. One hot August afternoon, she wrote, she was in the kitchen preparing dinner for ten. Although the house was full of people, no one offered to help her chop, stir, or set the table. She was stewing in her own juices, she said, when her two small children and her 78-year-old mother insisted that she stop what she was doing and take them swimming.
They positioned themselves in the car, she said, leaning on the horn and shouting her name out the window so all the neighbors could hear them, loudly reminding her that she had promised to take them to the pond. That, Gordon said, was when she lost it. She flew outside and jumped on the hood of the car. She pounded on the windshield. She told her mother and her children that she was never, ever going to take any of them anywhere, and none of them was ever going to have one friend in any house of hers until the hour of their death -- which, she said, she hoped was soon.
Then the frightening thing happened. "I became a huge bird," she said. "A carrion crow. My legs became hard stalks, my eyes were sharp and vicious. I developed a murderous beak. Greasy black feathers took the place of arms. I flapped and flapped. I blotted out the sun's light with my flapping." Even after she had been forced off the hood of the car, she said, it took her a while to come back to herself, and when she did, she was appalled, because she realized she had genuinely frightened her children. Her son said to her, "I was scared because I didn't know who you were."
"Sin makes the sinner unrecognizable," Gordon concluded, and the only antidote to it is forgiveness; but the problem is that anger is so exciting, so enlivening, that forgiveness can seem like a limp surrender. If you have ever cherished a resentment, you know how right it can make you feel to have someone in the world whom you believe is all wrong. You may not be up to admitting it yet, but one of the great benefits of having an enemy is that you get to look good by comparison. It also helps to have someone to blame for why your life is not turning out the way it was supposed to.
Several years ago on National Public Radio I heard Linda Wertheimer talking to a correspondent in the Middle East about the amazing moves toward peace that were then happening there between Israelis and Palestinians. "How are people reacting?" she asked him. "After all, losing an enemy is as upsetting as losing a friend." I hadn't thought about it that way before, but she is right. When you allow your enemy to stop being your enemy, all the rules change. Nobody knows how to act anymore, because forgiveness is an act of transformation. It does not offer the adrenaline rush of anger, nor the feeling of power that comes from a well-established resentment. It is a quiet revolution, as easy to miss as a fist uncurling to become an open hand, but it changes people in ways that anger only wishes it could.
So why don't we do it more often? Because it is scary, to lay down your arms like that, to trade in your pride and your power on the off-chance that you may discover something more valuable than either of them. "To forgive," writes Mary Gordon, "is to give up the exhilaration of one's own unassailable rightness." And there is loss in that, only it is the loss of an illusion, and what is gained is unmistakably real: the chance to live again, free from the bitterness that draws the sweetness from our lives, that gives us scary faces and turns us into carrion crows who blot out the sun with our flapping. No one else does this to us. We do it to ourselves, but we do not have to.
We are being forgiven every day of our lives. We are being set free by someone who has arranged things so that we have all the advantages. We have choices. We have will. And we have an advocate, who seems to know that we need lots of practice at this forgiveness business. How often should we forgive? Will seven times take care of it? "Not seven times," Jesus says, "but, I tell you, seventy-seven times." This is no chore. This is a promise, because forgiveness is the way of life. It is God's cure for the deformity our resentments cause us. It is how we discover our true shape, and every time we do it we get to be a little more alive. What God knows and we don't yet is that once we get the hang of it, seventy times seven won't be enough, not to mention seventy-seven. We'll be so carried away by it that we'll hope it never ends.
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Barbara Brown Taylor has been named one of the most effective preachers in the English-speaking world by Baylor University. Reprinted from Gospel Medicine, published by Cowley Publications, 28 Temple Place, Boston, Massachusetts. To order, call 1-800-225-1534.
Copyright(c) 1998 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc./Christianity Today magazine. February 9, 1998, vol. 42, no. 2, page 61
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There is a fine devotional book which has been assembled from the writings of Dr. J. I. Packer. In it he quotes a psychologist on the six marks of maturity. Americans love to take self-examinations, so here is one for you on what it means to be grown up, to be whole, balanced, sane and able to cope with life:
1. The first mark of maturity is the ability to deal constructively
with reality, to face facts, to not cover up reality or call it
something else, but to deal with it as it is. Mature people do
not kid themselves.
2. The second mark is, adapting quickly to change. We all experience
change, whether it be physical, at work, in the family, or
whatever. I am amazed at how much some of you have changed
through the years while I remain exactly the same! Immature
people resist change. It makes them nervous. But the mark of
maturity is to adapt to change because change is inevitable.
3. The third mark is freedom from the symptoms of tension and
anxiety. The worried look, the frown, the ulcers, the palpi-
tations of the heart -- all come because you are upset, anxious
and worried. Maturing means you have begun to see that God is in
control of this world. He is working out purposes that you do
not always understand, but you accept it. He will take you
through the deep water, not drown you in it. Maturity means you
are learning to trust.
4. Fourth, it means to be satisfied more with giving than receiving.
Some of you have recently learned that the joy of Christmas is
not getting presents but giving them. To see the joy in someone
else's face when they get something they either need or want.
That is a sign you are growing up. You are discovering the true
values of life.
5. The fifth mark is, to relate to others with consistency, help-
fulness and mutual satisfaction. Maturity is learning to get
along with other people, to be a help, not a hindrance, to
contribute to the solution and not to be always a part of the
problem.
6. Finally, maturity is sublimating and redirecting anger to
constructive ends. Maturity is the ability to use the adrenaline
that anger creates, not to lose your temper and add to the
problem, but to correct a situation or to contribute to changing
the nature of the difficulty.
Lou had had enough. He learned that his wife was having an affair. And, even after he confronted her, she continued to cheat on him. So after his wife left the house one day to meet her paramour at a restaurant, Lou followed. When he saw them together, he beat the lover senseless with a motorcycle helmet, and then rammed the guy's SUV into a fire hydrant.
But instead of throwing the book at Lou, the court sent him to school -- anger management school, that is.
Lou is one of the thousands of offenders who have been ordered to attend classes on how to control their temper. Included in these court-ordered "time outs" are rock stars Tommy Lee and Courtney Love, and that paragon of self-control, boxer Mike Tyson.
The classes aren't limited to those who have broken the law. As Time magazine reported, many private firms are sending their irascible employees to these kinds of classes, as well. The best-known example of such a referral is Latrell Sprewell, the basketball star. After choking his coach -- twice -- Sprewell was ordered by the NBA to attend classes on how to control his rage.
What do Lou, Latrell, and all the others learn in these classes? Nothing that our parents shouldn't have already taught us: Count to ten when you get angry. Don't let little things upset you. And accept another person's opinion without going ballistic.
This advice is so obvious that people like Pamela Hollenhort, of the University of Wisconsin, are wondering about the wisdom of using such programs. She questions whether many of the people referred to anger management classes really have a problem with their tempers, or whether, in her estimation, many of them are simply "cruel" and "manipulative."
She's right. Anger management, like the rest of what has been called the "therapeutic culture," proceeds from a flawed understanding of human nature -- a false worldview.
It assumes that people are basically good and that episodes like the ones that land them in these classes are aberrations. If this is true, then all that's required is learning techniques to help us handle stressful moments gracefully. We can teach people to be "nice."
But as thousands of years of recorded human history -- as well as Scripture -- teaches us clearly, mankind is not basically good -- we're fallen. We're inclined to self-centeredness and selfishness. In some of us, this results in a willingness to hurt others when we get our own feelings hurt, or don't get our way.
Therefore, there are only two ways to address the problem. The first is by building character in young people, teaching them to respect others. And the other? Conversion.
In twenty years of prison ministry, I've seen men and women with real rage problems, and I've seen them change completely. The difference Christ makes is so profound that it's hard to believe that these offenders were ever capable of committing the crimes that landed them in prison.
So the next time you hear about some celebrity or athlete being ordered to attend anger management classes, take the opportunity to tell your neighbors why these programs -- and all the rest of our therapeutic culture -- simply can't work. And tell them that if we really want to make a difference, we need to throw a different book at these offenders.
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Copyright (c) 2000 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.
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I know a very wealthy man who became religious late in life. He had a quick temper and cursed a lot, which seemed inconsistent with his otherwise pious behavior. A rabbi who had helped influence the man to become religious explained to me: "He's trying to cut down on his cursing, so we've made a deal. Every time he curses, he fines himself $180, and then donates the money to different charities. So far, he's donated tens of thousands of dollars."
This incident happened more than fifteen years ago, and I've fallen out of touch with the man. I don't know if the $180 fines helped cause him to curb his cursing, but I suspect they did. If they didn't, perhaps $180 was an insufficient disincentive to stop this man from engaging in what had become a deeply ingrained habit. But the technique is an old and a sound one. A medieval moralistic Jewish text, "The Beginning of Wisdom," suggests a similar teaching to those who can't seem to control their anger:
Decide on a sum of money that you will give away if you allow
yourself to be angered. Be sure that the amount you designate is
sufficient to force you to think twice before you lose your
temper.
If you're making an effort to control your temper, do this: Over the next week or month, donate to charity the sum of (fill in the amount) every time you express anger that is disproportionate to the provocation. As "The Beginning of Wisdom" notes, the sum has to be enough to inhibit you and also should be over and above the amount of charity you'd otherwise give; in other words, it acts as a fine.
If this technique doesn't work, try this: Give the charity to a cause you otherwise wouldn't support. If you're a liberal Democrat, designate the charity for a conservative cause; if you're a rock-ribbed conservative, to a liberal one. You might not be happy to send your money to a cause of which you might disapprove (this alone could cause you to exert greater control over your temper), but at least your anger will then do something for the cause of civility and unity within our society.
If you find this technique too expensive for your liking, there is one approach that will cost you no money at all: Do nothing to curb your temper In the course of a few years, this technique won't cost you any money -- but it might cost you your friends, your spouse, and your relationship with your children.
It's worth thinking about fining yourself for excessive anger. It might cost you a lot of money, but in the long run, it's cheap.
Attitudes.
• Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.
• Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
• He who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.
• Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.
• Learn from the mistakes of others.
You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
• Friends, you and me…
You brought another friend…
And then there were three…
• We started our group…
Our circle of friends…
And like that circle…
There is no beginning or end…
• Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #10103]
Theodore Roosevelt was a rugged outdoorsman. He loved traveling and exploring the great Northwest. On one of his trips, he observed something quite phenomenal -- A SKUNK EATING WITH A GRIZZLY!
As the bear came sauntering into the garbage dump, the skunk came right along with him, fearing nothing. The ole' griz' could have taken him out with one swipe, but he didn't. He knew the high cost of getting even.
Smart grizzly! Smarter than most people. He was quite aware of the price he would have to pay by reckless behavior.
Doctors now attribute many illnesses to worry, anxiety, resentment, hatred, etc. “Grudgitis” kills. Many people spend sleepless nights and untold energy thinking up ways “to get even”. Strange as this may seem, they become their own worst enemy.
Jesus is ridiculed in some circles for his ethics of “loving your enemies,” “forgiving those who have wronged you,” letting the past go.” It is a well-known fact in the discipline of psychiatry that these principles are health. It is therapeutic to apologize, to forgive, to let go, to say, “I'm sorry.”
We might be grouchy as an old bear sometimes, but one thing for sure, he knew when not to fight!
Bulletin Digest
Glenn Randolph
Santa Fe, New Mexico
In this part of the country Civil War wounds healed slowly. Not the ones caused by muskets and minie balls--the emotional ones. Some Southerners became really poor losers. Take Edwin Ruffin, for instance. Had a plantation on the James River about 30 miles downstream from Richmond. On April 12, 1861 he was in Charleston, SC. In the pre-dawn darkness of that morning he yanked the lanyard of the canon that fired the first shot on Ft. Sumter. He literally fired the first shot of the Civil War. After the war Ruffin refused to live in these United States. He committed suicide rather than rejoin the union.
On July 1-4, 1913 perhaps the greatest reunion in American history took place in Gettysburg, PA. Fifty years after Civil War's most decisive battle. After Pickett's Charge--when 15,000 Confederates failed to break the Union line--Robt. E. Lee and the South's fate were sealed. Thousands of former enemies--most in their 70s/80s, North and South--descended on Gettysburg. Considerable concern as there were still bitter feelings. The climax of the reunion was a re-enactment of Pickett's Charge.
FROM ARTICLE: "The centerpiece of the reunion took place at 3 P.M. on Thursday, July 3, when 120 veterans of Pickett's old Virginia Division assembled several hundred feet west of the famous stone wall that had marked the farthest reach of Pickett's Charge and the hopes of the Confederacy. East of the wall, 180 survivors of the Union's Philadelphia (Webb's) Brigade awaited their advance. Once again, standard bearers for both sides carried their units' battle flags. "We could see, not rifles and bayonets, but canes and crutches," spectator Philip Myers recorded of the now-thin line of Confederate veterans as they moved forward. "We ... could distinguish the more agile ones aiding those less able to maintain their places in the ranks." Finally only a few yards separated the old opponents, and "as the Rebel yell broke out after a half century of silence," wrote Myers, "a moan, a gigantic sigh, a gasp of unbelief, rose from the onlookers." It was then that the Yankees, unable to restrain themselves longer, burst from behind the stone wall, and flung themselves upon their former enemies. The emotion of the moment was so contagious that there was scarcely a dry eye in the huge throng." (Quotes from James W. Wensyel, "Return to Gettysburg," AMERICAN HISTORY ILLUSTRATED 28 [July/August 1993]:40-51.)
In Lowell, Massachusetts, a woman pushed her grocery cart into the store's express line -- nothing unusual about that. But the problem was she had more items than she was supposed to have -- only one extra item, but that was enough to infuriate the woman in line behind her.
The two customers had words. Out in the parking lot, they had a few more. And then, Customer Number Two -- who has a long criminal record -- lost it. She allegedly grabbed Customer Number One by the hair and beat her senseless.
On a radio talk show, the host referred to the incident as "Express Line Rage." Some callers actually applauded the attacker. Now, I'll be the first to admit that shoppers who abuse express lines are incredibly rude, but that's no excuse for beating people up.
Unbelievably, some people, however, want to provide an excuse. They want us to believe that people who lose their tempers are not obnoxious or criminal -- they're just (sadly) sick.
Examples of this trend are everywhere. For instance, a few years ago a psychologist told Congress that road rage is a "certifiable mental illness" -- one from which more than half of all Americans suffer. And last year, a journal called MONITOR ON PSYCHOLOGY wrote about "counterproductive workplace behavior" -- otherwise known as "desk" rage. If you've ever pounded on your keyboard and shouted some obscenities, the men in the white coats may come looking for you.
But what happens when we redefine all unacceptable behavior as mental illness?
C. S. Lewis anticipated this shift in the modern view of crime and punishment in a brilliant essay called "The Humanitarian Theory of Punishment." Traditionally, Lewis wrote, punishment is understood as a matter of balancing the scales of justice. But the "humanitarian theory of punishment" throws that standard out.
Denying that punishment is an objective matter of justice, this theory removes criminal activity from the realm of morality and applies a therapeutic response. So new theories have attempted to justify punishment as a cure or a deterrent.
Well, these theories have failed to cure or deter crime, and Lewis explains that punishment without a sense of objective morality ultimately sows the seeds of Orwellian tyranny.
"If crime and disease are to be regarded as the same thing," he says, "it follows that any state of mind which our masters choose to call 'disease' can be treated as a crime; and compulsorily cured."
Lewis's warning has become horrifyingly real in North Korea, where Christian believers are considered mentally ill; the government attempts to torture them into "sanity."
That's why we Christians must help our neighbors to understand the dangers of redefining every crime -- and, indeed, all sin -- as mental disorder. When someone beats up an express line shopper for sneaking an extra bag of Doritos into the line, we ought to call this attack by its proper name: Not a mental illness to be treated, but a crime to be punished.
Sources:
"Register Rage Suspect Claims She Was Victim," WCVB-TV Boston, 22 February 2002.
"Checkout Rage Suspect Pleads Not Guilty," WCVB-TV Boston, 25 February 2002.
Jennifer Daw, "Road rage, air rage and now 'desk rage,'" MONITOR ON PSYCHOLOGY vol. 32, no. 7 (July/August 2001).
Leah Garchik, "Don't Get Mad, Just Stick on a New Label," SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE, 26 October 1997.
For further reading:
C. S. Lewis, "The Humanitarian Theory of Punishment," from GOD IN THE DOCK, 1970.
Charles Colson and Nancy Pearcey, THE PROBLEM OF EVIL (Tyndale House, 1999).
BreakPoint Commentary No. 020301, "Eyewitness to Atrocity: Calling Evil By Its Name."
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Copyright © 2002 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. 'BreakPoint with Chuck Colson' is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.
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Many prefer the principle of "an eye for an eye!" We like to see wrongdoers pay! But it is not always that easy. Ibn Saud, king of Saudi Arabia (1932-1953), once had a woman demand the death of a man who had killed her husband. The man had fallen out of a palm tree while picking dates and fell on her husband, fatally injuring him. Woman persistent and asked for the man's death, as was her right as a Saudi citizen. Finally the king said, "It is your right to ask for the man's life; it is my right to say how he should die. The man will be tied to foot of a palm tree. You will climb the tree and fall on him, killing him." Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth!
One day a visitor leaned on the old fence around a farm, while he
watched an old farmer plowing with a mule.
After a while, the visitor said, "I don't like to tell you how to run
your business, but you would not have to work so hard if you would just
say, "gee" and "haw" to that mule instead of just tugging on those
lines.
The old farmer stopped and pulled a big handkerchief from his pocket
and wiped his face. Then he said, "Reckon you're right, but this animal
kicked me five years ago and I ain't spoke to him since."
One of the worst cases of hatred I have ever come across is found in a will written in 1935 by a Mr. Donohoe to his two daughters. It says, "Unto my two daughters, Frances Marie and Denise Victoria, by reason of their unfilial attitude toward a doting father, ... I leave the sum of $ 1.00 to each and a father's curse. May their lives be fraught with misery, unhappiness, and poignant sorrow. May their deaths be soon and of a lingering malignant and torturous nature..The last line of the will is so vicious I shudder to quote it. It reads, "May their souls rest in hell and suffer the torments of the condemned for etemity." Such utter contempt didn't develop in a day. It had to grow over a long period of time. We should never allow our minds to become fertile soil for the seeds of hatred. We would do ourselves a world of good by heeding the words of Paul, "Do not let the sun go down on your wrath" (Eph. 4:26).
Shouting Contest
A father of three won a shouting contest with a roar louder than a passing train. "If you want a war, you go!" Yoshihiko Kato shouted. The sound meter registered 115.8 decibels, louder than the racket of a train passing overhead on an elevated railroad. For that winning shout, Kato won the $750 grand prize of the 10th annual Halls Year-End Loud Voice Contest. Kato admitted that he probably built up his loud voice shouting at his children.
Resource, Jan/Feb 1991
ANGER
The great maestro Toscanini was as well known for his ferocious temper as he
was for his outstanding musicianship. During rehearsals, when members of his
orchestra played badly, Toscanini often picked up whatever was within reach
and hurled it to the floor in disgust. During one rehearsal someone misplayed
a note. Its tone reverberated throughout the rehearsal hall. Toscanini
frowned and grabbed his quite valuable watch from the director's stand,
smashing it to the floor. The watch was broken beyond repair.
Shortly afterward, Toscanini's devoted musicians gave him a gift in a
luxurious velvet-lined box. Inside the box were two watches. One of the
timepieces was a beautiful gold watch of the best quality and workmanship.
The other was a cheap dimestore watch. On the back of the inexpensive watch
was an inscription that read: For rehearsals only.
-From "God's Little Lessons on Life for Graduates," Tulsa, Oklahoma: Honor
Books, 1999, p. 9
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, SwanLC@aol.com,
May 31, 1999
There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
The young woman was nervous because it was her first day on her new job in a fine restaurant. A nice looking couple arrived for dinner and was seated at her table. Somehow she mixed up the order and the customer went into a rage! After sternly reprimanding the waitress, he informed her that he intended to take the complaint to the manager! The young woman was devastated and removed herself to a back room while sobbing in both embarrassment and insult.
Meanwhile, the irate customer justified himself by reaffirming his right to do as he had done. He reasoned, "If she is going to get paid in this line of work, she ought to learn to do it right!" When he and his wife finished the meal, he left one cent on the table as her tip. He knew that she would remember him for that and provide better service next time.
Back home again, the man gathered his study guides for use in the home Bible study he was scheduled to teach that evening. Another member of the congregation had set up the study with a new family in town. The two of them arrived at the appointed time and were met at the door by the young husband. While escorting them into the den to meet his wife he said, "please be patient and understanding if she appears upset. This was her first day on a new job and she has had a very difficult day at work. Some uncaring and insulting customer totally humiliated her."
A few minutes later, as they walked back to the car, the question was asked, "Was it worth it to lose your temper?"
--The Harvester, Trenton, TN
Anyone can become angry. That is easy.
But to be angry with the right person,
to the right degree, at the right time,
for the right purpose and in the right way
- that is not easy.
----Aristotle (384-322 BC) - Greek philosopher
Abraham Lincoln was hired to sue someone over a $2.50 debt. He didn't want to do it; but his client insisted. So Abe asked for a $10.00 fee up front. He then gave half to the defendant, who promptly paid his debt and everyone went home happy.
"The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression."
(Jacksonville, AL, via Coldwater, MS)
From time to time most of us encounter angry people. Some are out of control. Others are trying hard not to be verbally or physically abusive, but inside they are steaming over what they consider to be an injustice. It may be a neighbor who believes you have treated him/her unfairly. It may be a fellow worker who perceives that what you have done is wrong. It may be a mother-in-law or a brother-in-law, a father or a son, or a stranger.
Seven steps to dealing with an angry person:
1. Listen. You get something of the person’s story and the heart of why he/she is angry. The best thing you can do for an angry person is to listen to his/her story. Having heard it, ask him/her to repeat it. Having heard it a second time, ask additional questions to clarify the situation. Listen at least three times before you give a response.
2. Listen. He/she begins to see that you are taking him/her seriously, that you really want to understand what happened, and you are not condemning his/her anger.
3. Listen. At this point the individual usually begins to calm down, as he/she senses that you are trying to understand him/her. If you respond to someone’s anger before you have thoroughly heard his/her story, you will not defuse the anger - you will compound it.
4. Seek to understand the angry person’s plight. Put yourself in his/her shoes and try to view the world through his/her eyes. Ask yourself, Would I be angry in the same situation? Keep in mind that the angry person may not have all the facts, or is overlooking his/her own responsibility. Whether one’s interpretation of the situation is correct is not the issue at this point.
5. Express your understanding. Don’t jump in and set the person straight on the facts, or defend your own actions. Put yourself in the angry person’s situation. If I were in your shoes and saw the situation as you see it, I would also be angry. This puts the angry person at ease. It tells them they are not weird for feeling angry. You have now removed the adversarial nature of the conversation.
6. Share additional information that may shed light on the subject. Often the person who is angry does not have all the facts or is misinterpreting the facts. You do the person a great service when you share your perception of what happened. But if this is shared too early in the process, you will not be heard - and will find yourself in a heated argument with the angry person.
7. Admit your part. If you realize you have genuinely wronged him/her intentionally or unintentionally, then it is time for you to admit the wrong and ask for forgiveness.
There are two things which happened this year which share much in common:
Three young men in Oklahoma were enjoying the upcoming Fourth of July holiday and wanted to apparently testfire some fireworks. Their only real problem was that their launch pad and seating arrangements were atop a several hundred thousand gallon fuel distillation storage tank.
Oddly enough, some fumes were ignited, producing a fireball seen for miles.
They were launched several hundred feet into the air and were found dead 250 yards from their respective seats.
===================================
In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition -- lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked.
Witnesses later described the vision of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away.
Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician that was suspected of causing the explosion had never been thought of as “bright” by his peers.
=================================
Years ago, Jim Croce, in his song, “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim”, used to sing about things that you don’t dare do (pull the mask off the Lone Ranger or tug on Superman’s cape, for example). He might have done well to add, “You don’t flick your Bic inside a building with a gas leak”! In an explosive situation, the last thing you want to do is provide the spark.
We’ve all been around those kinds of situations (not literally, but figuratively) -- where someone was angry and it wouldn’t take much to create an explosion. We have two choices in that setting, described by Solomon in this way:
“A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger.” (Prov. 15:1, NCV).
How I admire those people I know (and my wife is one of them) who have a calming effect on those around them (including me), gently stifling the flames of anger before they burst in flames.
“Wise people calm anger down.” (Prov. 29:8b, NCV)
May God help us all to be wise.
Have a great day!
Alan Smith
Boone church of Christ
Boone, NC
Days seldom follow the schedules we’ve made for them. There is always an interruption. Something breaks. The person you depended on doesn’t perform. And there are those maddening moments of crisis that throw us off balance.
There’s an old story of a cowboy who walked out of the saloon only to discover that someone had painted his horse’s tail red. As onlookers roared with laughter, he was burning with rage. “Does anybody know who did this?” he demanded to know.
“I saw who done it!” shouted somebody in the crowd. “He was wearin’ a vest but no hat. And he went straight from here to the hardware store over there.”
“I’ll tear him limb from limb!” threatened the cowboy. And he stormed off in the direction of the store. He flung open the door and shouted, “Did somebody in here paint my horse’s tail red? If so, let him be a man about it and step forward.”
A huge blacksmith stepped out from behind a stack of barbed wire. His arms were as big as posts, and he appeared to be chiseled from solid rock. Everyone in the store fell silent as he snarled, “I did it. And just what do you have to say about it?”
Faced with a genuine crisis-management situation, the cowboy looked the massive blacksmith over and sized up his options in a flash. “It sure looks to me like the first coat is dry,” he said. “Do you want to apply the second one, or should I?”
There are times that call for righteous indignation. No less than Jesus went through the Temple precincts turning over the vendors’ tables and setting animals on sale for sacrifice free. But some call for discretion. To reply in haste to every irksome provocation you encounter in life will not make you heroic or set all those situations right. It will simply give you the well-deserved reputation of being a hot-head.
The late F.B. Meyer gave some sound advice on what to do in a crisis. He wrote: “Never act in panic, nor allow a man to dictate to you; calm yourself and be still; force yourself into the quiet of your closet until the pulse beats normally and the scare has ceased to disturb. When you are most eager to act is the time when you will make the most pitiable mistakes.”
Proverbs 29:20 offers this wisdom about crisis management: “Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”
It is sometimes necessary to confront. Principle must not be forsaken, and holy things are not to be sullied. More often than not, however, the lack of self-restraint in a crisis brings on a disaster of major -- and occasionally fatal -- proportions.
In St. Petersburg, I saw in the square in front of St. Isaac's Cathedral, the magnificent equestrian statue of Peter the Great with his hand lifted pointing his nation onward and eastward toward the sea. Peter was the maker of modern Russia. In many respects, he well deserved the name "great," but he was subject to maniacal outbursts of fury and anger. In one of such outbursts, he killed his own son.
Toward the end of his reign, Peter the Great once remarked, "I have conquered an empire but I was not able to conquer myself."
Alexander the Great was on of the few men of history who deserved the adjective “great.” His biographer describes him as by nature fervently passionate and impulsive. He was strong in his loves and his loyalties; and although hatred was foreign to his magnanimous nature, he was often swept by storms of anger. Yet by a magnificent display of will power he held the reins upon his passions.
But to this long chapter of noble self-control there is one sad and tragic exception. At a banquet given for Dionysius a song was sung comparing Alexander with Castor and Pollux, to his advantage. Then someone disparaged the old Macedonian officers who had fought under Alexander’s father, Philip. This aroused one of Alexander’s generals, Clitus, who commanded the famous Hetairoi. Clitus reminded Alexander how he had saved his life in one of the recent battles, and said Alexander had bought his fame with the blood of the Macedonian officers. He told Alexander to associate with his lickspittle Persians, who bowed the knee to him and told him only what he wanted to hear.
Alexander, stung by this remark of Clitus, reached for his sword, which a discreet officer had hidden away. Then in his anger, falling ... as men always do at such a time ... into his native idiom, the Macedonian, he ordered the trumpeter to sound the call, and when he delayed, Alexander hit him with his fist. Before he could inflict hurt upon Clitus, the friends of that half intoxicated officer hurried him out of the banqueting hall. But he soon entered by another door, where he stood under the curtains quoting lines from a Greek poet to the disparagement of Alexander’s conquests. “Quick as a flash, Alexander snatched a spear from the hand of the guard and hurled it at the figure by a raised curtain. The deed was done. The friend of his childhood, his life companion and rescuer, lay gasping out his life.”
The passion of remorse followed quickly upon the fury of his anger. Alexander himself drew out the fatal spear, and but for his officers he would have fallen upon it himself. All through the night, and for several days, he lay writhing in his remorse, piteously calling Clitus by name and chiding himself as the murderer of his friend.
Alexander the Great conquered the world, but he could not conquer himself. In his conquests he stormed and took almost every great city of the ancient world. Yet he was not able to subdue that more important city, to conquer which is the greatest of all achievements ... the city and citadel of his own spirit.
________
Macartney’s Illustration, pp. 20,21
Joseph Zamboni is a trooper for the state of Maine. He received a call to a home where he found a man who had been stabbed with a kitchen knife by his wife. After dispatching the man to the hospital, he arrested and handcuffed the wife. As they left for the police station she asked if she could get the knife back. She said it was important for her to retrieve it because it was part of a set she had received as a wedding present.
*
[Original illustration at this number was deleted for being out-of-date]
A lot of us loose control when we get angry. We are kind of like the man who said, "I'm so think, I can't mad straight."
- Mike Minnix
There was difficulty between two neighbor farmers relative to the boundary between lands. The one who held a terrible grudge. against the other, upon leaving home for some days, gave instructions to his small son to burn the neighbor's barn while he was away. He told the boy to slip up to the barn late at night, fire it, and then run back home quickly and no one would ever know, and he would get even with his enemy. The father left and the boy carried out the instructions, The barn was burned. No one could imagine how. Soon the man returned, terribly surprised! Oh, the deceitfulness of the human heart. Soon the boy, who burned the barn, was taken ill. He was very nervous. He could not eat nor sleep. Finally he said, “Father, all I can see is the burning barn.” The father assured him that he had done right; that they had gotten even with their neighbor. But the boy grew worse and worse. Finally he was dying, and the neighbors were there. In a delirious condition, he told of burning the barn. His sin had “found him out.”
Many years ago while two little boys were playing the older, in a
fit of anger, struck his younger brother a severe blow in the face.
The little fellow did not return the blow, but, with tears in his
bright blue eyes, simply said, "Charlie, what did you hit me for?"
Years passed; the boys became men and were separated from each other
by a long distance. One day the summons came to Charles to come to the
bedside of his dying brother; but it was not until after the funeral
had taken place that he arrived. As he stood by the new-made grave, he
remembered the childhood incident referred to above. Through the dim
vista of the years he looked back to his early childhood; he saw again
the tearful eyes and heard once more the pleading voice: "Charlie,
what did you hit me for?" That voice sounded in the ear of his soul,
and he felt as though he would willingly give all he possessed had
that hasty blow never been struck.
By William Moses Tidwell, "Effective Illustrations."
Two men had lived together as congenial neighbors for years. One
day they were driving to town in a wagon. They talked of World War I.
The American insisted that the Germans were completely beaten. The
other man, who was German-born, declared he was mistaken. The argument
grew heated and bitter. Finally the American said, "I know one
American that can whip one German." The team was stopped and they
began fighting. Finally the German knocked the other man down; but as
they fought the American got the finger of the German in his mouth and
was chewing it off. He refused to let go. The German found a piece of
brick and beat the head of his antagonist into jelly, and then dragged
his body out into a pond. He was conscience-stricken. He went on to
town and confessed to the officers what he had done. He, as well as
the other man, was a highly respected citizen. The officer insisted
that the man had not done what he declared he had. But he took them to
the pond and waded in and dragged the body out. A gruesome sight! He
just had one thing to say, "Oh, I murdered my neighbor, I murdered my
neighbor." This he continued to do until the time when he was
electrocuted.
Sin will cause one to do what cannot be undone. We had better get
rid of sin or it will ruin us. -- ELBERT DODD.
William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."
A FARMER, who bore a grudge against a Fox for robbing his poultry yard, caught him at last, and being determined to take an ample revenge, tied some rope well soaked in oil to his tail, and set it on fire. The Fox by a strange fatality rushed to the fields of the Farmer who had captured him. It was the time of the wheat harvest; but the Farmer reaped nothing that year and returned home grieving sorely.
For this reason, Christians should never attempt revenge upon another (no matter how much harm was done to them). Forgiveness is the best solution and it was the path that Christ taught us.
AT ONE TIME the Horse had the plain entirely to himself. Then a Stag intruded into his domain and shared his pasture. The Horse, desiring to revenge himself on the stranger, asked a man if he were willing to help him in punishing the Stag. The man replied that if the Horse would receive a bit in his mouth and agree to carry him, he would contrive effective weapons against the Stag. The Horse consented and allowed the man to mount him. From that hour he found that instead of obtaining revenge on the Stag, he had enslaved himself to the service of man.
When we allow the spirit of anger or revenge consume our heart, we allow ourselves to become enslaved.
I call them “meanies,” those men and women who spend their days spreading vitriol on the Internet. Nameless, faceless, they lurk in the shadows of many websites and blogs, waiting for any opportunity to tear those with whom they disagree to shreds.
With a toolbox full of putdowns and vulgarities, they work hard at trying to show that their opponents are not only wrong, not only stupid, but actually evil. Mean-spiritedness is not a new problem, but never before have “meanies” had such a public platform from which to spew their venom, and rarely has society been so willing to celebrate meanness and odium. The problem is so widespread that political parties and major policy organizations rely on meanness and anger in promoting their message.
Peter Wood, in his recent book “A Bee in the Mouth: Anger in America Now,” says there is a difference between New Anger, which is everywhere today, and Old Anger. There has never been a time when men and women did not get angry. Yet, at one point, anger was seen as a passion to be restrained whenever possible. Self-control and self-mastery were considered virtues; a man who was quick to anger was seen as weak and unstable. For a political leader to burn with anger in public on a regular basis was certainly considered a red flag.
In his review of Wood’s book, Howard Kurtz says this about New Anger:
“New Anger is everything that Old Anger was not: flamboyant, self-righteous, and proud. As a way to ‘empowerment’ for ethnic groups, women, political parties, and children, New Anger serves as a mark of identity and a badge of authenticity. The Civil War, and America’s past political campaigns, may have witnessed plenty of anger, yet not until recently, says Wood, have Americans actually congratulated themselves for getting angry. Anger has turned into a coping mechanism, something to get in touch with, a prize to exhibit in public, and a proof of righteous sincerity.”
New Anger has certainly found a home on cable news channels and on the blogosphere. This unhealthy anger is coupled with what legal scholar Cass Sunstein calls “ideological amplification.” According to Sunstein, ideological amplification is a process whereby one’s ideological opinions become more extreme as they encounter fewer opposing viewpoints. This is an especially big problem on the blogosphere, where men and women self-select the sites they visit. As Alan Jacobs points out in his Christianity Today web article, “Amplifying Charity,” a conservative is unlikely to defend President Bush on a liberal blog like the DailyKos when “her views -- along with her personality, her character, her intelligence, and her friends, family members, and pets -- [are] instantly subjected to a barrage of, shall we say, critical scrutiny.” A liberal is equally disinclined to dialogue with conservatives on extreme conservative blogs.
The end result is the creation of “echo chambers” or “information cocoons” in which New Anger boils over into utter hatred and malice. Jacobs has also noticed this trend: “Among the ideas that get amplified [on monolithic blogs], one of the most pernicious and (alas) common is the idea that people who are not among the Faithful deviate from the True Path not just because they make different political judgments, or have different beliefs about how best to form a just political order, but because they are, well, evil.”
The antidote to the rising heat in political debate today, according to Sunstein and Jacobs, is “political charity.” When men and women exhibit political charity they do not automatically assume that their opponents have evil motives, but they try to see their opponents’ motives in the best possible light. Those with political charity also try to identify the positive moral principle at the heart of their opponents’ views and endorse those principles whenever possible. In other words, political charity should drive those on either side of the aisle to see political counterparts as real people who mean well, not as the diabolical monsters that some people self-righteously create in their own minds. While it is true that there is real evil in the world, and that we should never be shy about identifying true evil, it is also becoming clear that in the blogosphere, on talk radio, and on some cable TV shows, we are allowing New Anger to destroy mature political discourse.
In the final analysis, self-government requires self-control. It requires from us the ability to patiently and rationally discuss our varying viewpoints as we work together for the common good. If passions like anger and hatred take over, we will completely lose the ability to reason together as a people, meaning we will have become incapable of governing ourselves. Democracy itself is on the line. As we move toward the 2008 presidential elections, there is little doubt that some blogs, liberal and conservative, will be cauldrons of animosity and acrimony. Rest assured that both of the major political parties will try to tap into these searing emotions to their own benefit.
One can also predict that some supposedly Christian groups will try to take advantage of these unholy passions to mobilize voters. Despite all of this, we will do well to remember that Christ himself called us to love our neighbors ... and even our enemies. The survival of democracy itself may depend on our ability to show true political charity.
*
[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #9068]
In a 1994 article, "Wars' Lethal Leftovers Threaten Europeans," Associated Press reporter Christopher Burns writes: "The bombs of World War II are still killing in Europe. They turn up -- and sometimes blow up -- at construction sites, in fishing nets, or on beaches fifty years after the guns fell silent. "Hundreds of tons of explosives are recovered every year in France alone. Thirteen old bombs exploded in France last year, killing twelve people and wounding eleven, the Interior Ministry said. "'I've lost two of my colleagues,' said Yvon Bouvet, who heads a government team in the Champagne-Ardennes region that defuses explosives from both World War I and II.... "Unexploded bombs become more dangerous with time, Bouvet said. 'With the corrosion inside, the weapon becomes more unstable, the detonator can be exposed.'" What is true of lingering bombs is also true of lingering anger. Buried anger will explode when we least expect it. -- BARRY McGee Anderson, California
When Sinbad and his sailors landed on one of their tropical islands, they saw high up in the trees coconuts which could quench their thirst and satisfy their hunger. The coconuts were far above the reach of Sinbad and the sailors, but in the branches of the trees were the chattering apes. Sinbad and his men began to throw stones and sticks up at the apes. This enraged the monkeys and they began to seize the coconuts and hurl them down at the men on the ground. That was just what Sinbad and his men wanted. They got the apes angry so that the apes would gather their food for them. That is a good illustration of how by indulgence in anger we play into the hands of our foes.
The 18th-century British physician John Hunter, who was a pioneer in the field of surgery and served as surgeon to King George III, suffered from angina. Discovering that his attacks were often brought on by anger, Hunter lamented, “My life is at the mercy of any scoundrel who chooses to put me in a passion.” These words proved prophetic, for at a meeting of the board of St. George's Hospital in London, Hunter got into a heated argument with other board members, walked out, and dropped dead in the next room.
What a sad way for a useful life to end -- but Hunter's story is only one in a long litany of lives marred by anger.
I have heard that if a rattlesnake is cornered, it can become
so frenzied that it will accidentally bite itself with its deadly
fangs. In the same way, when a person harbors resentment and hatred in
his heart, he is often hurt by the poison of his own malice. He
thinks he is injuring his enemies by displaying his wrath, but the
real harm is inflicted deep within his own soul. Anger can also cause
us to do and say things we may deeply regret. George W. Martin tells
the following true story:
"I remember a fellow who once wrote a nasty letter to his father.
Since we worked in the same office, I advised him not to send it
because it was written in a fit of temper. But he sealed it and asked
me to put it in the mail. Instead, I simply slipped it into my pocket
and kept it until the next day. The following morning he arrived at
the office looking very worried.
`George,' he said, `I wish I had never sent that note to my dad
yesterday. It hurts me deeply, and I know it will break his heart
when he reads it. I'd give 50 dollars to get it back!' Taking the
envelope from my pocket, I handed it to him and told him what I had
done. He was so overjoyed that he actually wanted to pay me the 50
dollars!"
A cobbler at Leyden, who used to attend the public disputations held at the Academy, was once asked if he understood Latin. “No,” replied the cobbler, “but I know who is wrong in the argument.”
“How?” replied his friend.
“Why, by seeing who is angry first.”
Frederick the Great, King of Prussia for 46 years, was once in Potsdam when he encountered one of his generals who had long been in his disfavor. At their meeting the general saluted with the greatest respect, but Frederick merely turned his back on the officer. “I am happy to see that Your Majesty is no longer angry with me,” the general murmured.
“How so?” demanded Frederick.
“Because Your Majesty has never in his life turned his back on an enemy.” It was a daring statement, but it was reported to have led to a reconciliation!
Sally, a grad student, had one teacher who was known for elaborate object lessons. She relates an experience from one of his classes.
One day the students knew they were in for fun day. On the wall was a large target; on a nearby table was a supply of darts. The instructor told the students to draw a picture of someone they disliked or made them angry. They would be allowed to throw darts at the picture.
Sally's friend drew a picture of a girl who stole her boyfriend. Another friend, drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into the drawing.
The class lined up and took turns throwing darts. There was a lot of laughter. Some threw their darts with great force and emotion.
Sadly, because of time limits, Sally did not get her turn. She returned to her seat disappointed. She was now angry with her teacher and wished she could throw darts at him.
The instructor waited until everyone was seated before taking down the bull's-eye. A hush fell over the room as a mangled picture of Jesus was revealed - holes and jagged marks covered His face, His eyes were almost eradicated.
The teacher said quietly, "to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me." No other words were necessary.
Commentary: I don't have anything to add to this illustration. I'm not certain it's true or from the Chicken Soup series, but that makes no difference, its message is profound.
____________________
Source/Attribution: Provided by a friend via e-mail, author unknown; SIEW
*
A woman told Billy Sunday that she had a bad temper, but that it
was over in a minute. He replied, "So is a shotgun, but it blows
everything to pieces."
- {Notes and Quotes for Church Speakers}
A Sunday school teacher asked the meaning of "righteous
indignation." Little Jeremy replied, "Being mad without swearing."
An oil executive was irritated by his wife at the breakfast table
in their New Jersey home. When he arrived at his New York office he
laid down the law to workers there. One of the office staff passed on
his exasperation in a cable to a ship's captain in a Japanese harbor.
He in turn passed it on to some of his sailors, who on shore later
that afternoon acted with ill will toward the Japanese they met. In
five hours the lost temper at the breakfast table had gone half-way
around the world.
A Parable . . .
Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman in the car behind him is watching traffic pass around them. The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel and yelling at the man to move. The man doesn't move. The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dash.
The light turns yellow and the woman begins to blow the car horn and screams profanity and curses at the man. The man, looks up, sees the yellow light and accelerates through the intersection just as the light turns red. The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as she misses her chance to get through the intersection.
As she is still in mid-rant she hears a tap on her window and looks up into the barrel of a gun held by a very serious looking policeman. The policeman tells her to shut off her car while keeping both hands in sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening. After she shuts off the engine, the policeman orders her to exit her car with her hands up. She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and place her hands on her car. She turns, places her hands on the car roof and quickly is cuffed and hustled into the patrol car. She is too bewildered by the chain of events to ask any questions and is driven to the police station where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked and placed in a cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens the door for her. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the original officer is waiting with her personal effects. He hands her the bag containing her things, and says, “I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn and cussing a blue streak at him. Then I noticed the: “Choose Life” license plate holder, the “What Would Jesus Do” bumper sticker, the “Follow Me to Sunday School” bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.
So, naturally ... I assumed you had stolen the car.”
=====================================
Another version by Dynamic Preaching:
A woman pulls up to a red light behind one other car. She notices the driver of the car in front of her is talking on his cell phone, and appears to be shuffling through some papers on the seat beside him. The light turns green, but the man doesn't notice the light change . . .
The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel, and yelling at the man to move! The man doesn't move! The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dash . . .
The light turns yellow. The woman begins to blow the car horn, and scream curses at the man. The man hearing the commotion, looks up, sees the yellow light, and accelerates through the intersection just as the light turns red . . .
The woman is beside herself, screaming and is very frustrated, as she misses her chance to get through the intersection. As she is still in mid-rant she hears a tap on her window, and looks up into the barrel of a gun held by a very serious looking policeman.
The policeman tells her to shut off her car while keeping both hands in sight. She complies, and is speechless at what is happening. After she shuts off the engine the policeman orders her to exit the car with her hands up. The woman gets out of the car, and the policeman orders her to turn and place her hands on the car. She turns, places her hands on the car roof, and quickly is cuffed, and hustled into the patrol car . . .
The woman is too bewildered by the chain of events to ask any questions, and she is driven to the police station--- where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked, and placed into a cell.
After a couple of hours a policeman approaches the cell, and opens the door for her. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the original officer is waiting with her personal effects.
The policeman hands her the bag containing her things, and says, “I'm sorry for this mistake, but you see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, and cussing a blue streak at the car in front of you. I noticed the “CHOOSE LIFE” license plate holder, and the “Follow me to Sunday School” bumper sticker, and the chrome plated “CHRISTIAN FISH EMBLEM” on the trunk, so naturally I assumed you had stolen the car.
Ooh, that hurts ....
*
[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #14087]
Alexander the Great was one of the few men in history who seemed
to deserve his descriptive title. He was energetic, versatile, and
intelligent. Although hatred was not generally part of his nature,
several times in his life he was tragically defeated by anger. The
story is told of one of these occasions, when a dear friend of
Alexander, a general in his army, became intoxicated and began to
ridicule the emperor in front of his men. Blinded by anger and quick
as lightning, Alexander snatched a spear from the hand of a soldier
and hurled it at his friend. Although he had only intended to scare
the drunken general, his aim was true and the spear took the life of
his childhood friend.
Deep remorse followed his anger. Overcome with guilt, Alexander
attempted to take his own life with the same spear, but he was stopped
by his men. For days he lay sick, calling for his friend and chiding
himself as a murderer.
Alexander the Great conquered many cities and vanquished many
countries, but he had failed miserably to control his own spirit.
- Michael Green
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