Stephen has always been a freespirited, freebird that couldn't be caged. The world was his playground. Postcards from all areas of the world would reveal a life of travels that would make any vacationer drool, as Stephen lived as the ultimate vagabond traveler.
The family slowly grew accustomed to his surprising appearances home which always seemed to be right around the holidays, but we were all grateful to be together. Just as surprisingly and quick he'd show up, was the same of his leaving. He never was one for good-byes. Tears, hugs, insistence of staying was just not his cup of tea, so he always left unannounced.
It was what he left behind that we learned to hang on to so dearly. His memories of stories past were treated as precious china. Stephen would fill us in on travels that captivated his listening audience. Florida was a place of interest, St. Petersburg being his most memorable. He told of how he worked at a fishing dock, driving local truck for the company. He got to eat all the fish his stomach could handle. “Pretty good benefit,” he would say in his low voice.
Stephen stood 6'2”, was slender and had a face that didn't really seem to age much. His thick dark brown hair made his sisters jealous because it grew so fast and had a beautiful glisten to it as the sun shone upon him.
His driving job didn't last long, so he ventured on to another unknown destination. Mentions of small towns, long roads and fields were a part of his stories.
When I asked him of his most favorite place, he said “London, England.” There was a river that flowed thru town that found Stephen many times on its banks. The river was a good friend to him. It was always there, never put him down and would occasionally share a duck or two.
Being a driver of the country myself, I had visited many of the places in his stories. I'd listen with captivating ease as he unfolded his next excursion, most of which I could relate to.
During the times we were apart, I would be on the road, watching the world thru my windshield. So many places I would like to stop at but can't. Either no time or I was just too big. “No trucks allowed” became a common sight.
I'd pass by a hitchhiker or two and think of Stephen out on another story telling vacation. Finally, after several travel packed years, he settled down in Southern California with some friends. A new life was beginning for him with somewhat a bit more order.
A job had landed him a pretty good cash income and we were able to see Stephen more often. Phone calls were becoming more common as he was beginning to announce each arrival. The scene of what looked to be the poor abandoned child on the doorstep was quickly becoming a faded memory.
I remember one particular Christmas as Stephen announced that he had been recently diagnosed with an illness that would slowly rob him of his life. The family was crushed. Tears and sobs flowed thru the room as the family tried to deal with this major blow. The doctors gave him only a couple or years to live as his insides were slowly being eaten away.
Three years past after that shocking Christmas. The family was grateful that Stephen was still among us. He was only 27 years old when life dealt him this new card. He lead a very full life, mostly all travels that consisted of living on the streets or occasionally landing a job that included living quarters. He was usually quiet, not much for words that explained about himself, except for his stories. Those were elaborate.
I was back on the road, when my pager beeped with a message to call home. Mom told me that Stephen was beginning to get sicker and has now moved back home. Stephen back home? How long will that last? Well, it lasted for the full year that he remained with us. Time was even more precious to us. Doctors were trying their best to encourage us as we watched Stephen slowly lose his life’s battle.
“Beep-beep,” goes my pager again. I'm in Winslow, Arizona headed down to Phoenix. I find a truck stop and dial the unknown phone number. “Mercy Hospital, may I help you?”, the young voice softly says on the other end.
My insides begin to shake as I explain who I am and why I am calling. I'm directed to another area of the hospital and what seems like an eternity, finally connected to my mother. My nerves are overtaking me as I begin to sweat. Thoughts travel a million words a second thru my head as I anticipate what Mom is about to say.
“Jenny,” she calmly and quietly says, “Stephen has just been admitted in the hospital. The doctors say that he is fading fast and he may only have hours or a couple of days left.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat that felt as big as a rock. I couldn't think. Tears began to well up in my eyes. Breathing became harder to accomplish. Just then I felt a soft touch on my shoulder as my husband stood behind me. He calmly said, “you're going home.”
That was all it took, The tears became a major downpour. I tried to speak as I told Mom, “I'm coming home.”
Arrangements were easy. I was taking a plane. I explained to the travel agent that I needed to fly from Salt Lake City, Utah to Sacramento, California.
“When do you need to go, Ma'am?” The gentleman on the other end asked. He sounded young and very professional. His voice was low and quiet, as I pictured him to be in his mid 20's.
“Tomorrow, as soon as possible, can I do that?” I was nervously speaking to him. The words came out as it seemed I was gasping for air. It was quite warm outside, yet I seemed to be freezing. I've never flown in a large plane before. My emotions were scurrying in all directions. The fear of flying and the need to be with my brother, NOW!!
“No problem, ma'am” he interrupts my thoughts. “The cost will be $300.” He almost seemed cold when he told me of the cost.
“Oh dear, um...gosh, that's a lot of money.” My voice cracks and shakes even more. “I'm on my way home to see my brother. He's...he's dying and is in the hospital now.”
“Oh...” the man seemed to jump at that word. “Well that's different, we can get you on a bereavance flight at 9am tomorrow. That cost will only be $150.”
Wow, what a difference. I suddenly began to feel more relaxed. A warm feeling of accomplishment was slowly coming over me.
I called home again and explained my arrangements. I would leave at 9am and arrive in Sacramento at 10:30 am. No problem. My sisters would pick me up there and take me to the hospital in Redding where Stephen is.
II
My husband and I were taking care of a delivery in Phoenix, Arizona. It seemed to take an eternity. We were loaded with 40,000 pounds of dog food. “Unload your trailer?” a lumper had asked us. He looked small and scrawny, but what he lacked in size, he made up in energy. We went ahead and hired him. He was probably not more that 25 years old, and his muscular build showed of good hard work.
We made the arrangements for him to do the work. He was fast. Only 4 hours to receive a well earned $100. It seemed a bit expensive to us, but other concerns were occupying our minds right now.
III
We're now headed to Salt Lake City. I called Mom at home from Phoenix. “Everything is still okay,” she said. “Stephen is talking, eating a little food and looking forward to seeing you.” She was quiet and calm and said that she was pretty numb inside right now.
“Thanks Mom,” I said quietly. My insides seemed to well up again. This roller coaster ride was beginning to really take its toll on me.
“Mom, can you give Steve a message for me? Please tell him that I love him and give him a big hug and kiss for me.” I could picture my brother patting me on the back and saying, “I love you too, little sister.
Stephen always enjoyed calling me 'little sister' as he was much taller. I was the oldest of all five children, but Stephen was by far the tallest. He was also the only boy, besides Dad of course.
Pictures revealed that Dad and Stephen were very much alike. Tall, slender and very handsome. Dark thick hair adorned Stephens head, while Dad was beginning to shine a bit more glory on top of his.
IV
We headed up Interstate 17 on our way to Salt Lake City. I knew I could never sleep, so I wanted to do the driving. I found myself rocking back and forth in the drivers seat trying to coax the truck to go forward quicker. It wasn't working, but it gave me something to do. My brother is fighting a losing battle, and I wanted to be there with him.
There was so much going through my head. So much I wanted to apologize for. Like the day I punched him in the stomach when I wanted to ride the tire swing first. I hit him so hard that he doubled over and began coughing. I immediately panicked and told him he could ride first. “Just don't tell Mom I hit you!” He agreed, not only to riding first, but having both of us ride at the same time.
Stephen got inside the tire, while I sat on top and hung onto the flimsy hose we used to tie it to the tree. Mom and Dad didn't know we were using their brand new garden hose for our fun.
We began to swing and gain height, speed and momentum. Just then, squeek...crack...and crash! The hose broke and two laughing, giggling kids suddenly were silenced as we fell hard to the ground. After a few silent seconds, we busted out in a laughter so loud and hard, that our stomachs began to hurt.
I reminisced of all the long walks we took around town. Our adventures took us to places that now make me shudder in fear. Cat walks under train tressels were our favorite. There was one in particular that spanned over one mile and stretched over a huge river. It took us two hours to walk it. When a train would approach, we had to lay down on the walk, wrap our arms and legs around the boards and hang on tight. The vibration from the locomotives were so intense that we wouldn't breath until it passed.
Our young lives were so full of mischievous acts that I'm surprised that Mom and Dad still have hair. Dinner always seemed to be served to us cold. Could it be because we weren't on time? Oh well, we slowly ate through it again and again.
My thought takes a break as I notice that I have just passed the rest area below Flagstaff, Arizona. I am overcome with a feeling of sudden nervousness. It's the same kind of palm sweating, adrenaline building, type of fear you feel when you realize you have forgotten something very important.
So I go on to Flagstaff to a truckstop there. I was going to go non-stop to Salt Lake, but this feeling told me not to wait.
The weather was blistering hot in Arizona, so we went into the well air cooled restaurant. The scurry of waitresses revealed a packed house. That's okay, they can avoid me for awhile so I can use the phone without interruption.
I nervously pick up the phone, take a deep breath and dial my parents house. It rings once...twice...I sweat. A couple of clicks sound and a voice says, “hello?”
“Mom, it's Jenny,” I say, trying to breath at the same time. I begin shaking inside again.
“Jenny! How did you know to call me?” Mom was quite loud this time with an excited tone in her voice.
“I don't know, Mom. I just had this odd feeling about a half hour ago to check in.” I was almost feeling exhausted as my emotions had been in full gear the past couple of hours. This break felt good, but it was quickly draining me of any energy I had left.
“Well, I am on hold right now with your company, waiting for someone to answer. The operator put me on hold 15 minutes ago.” Mom said.
It was Memorial Day. The staff at the terminal's were down to a skeleton crew as I explained to her. That's why no one is answering the phones.
I heard a deep breath being taken on the other end of the line. Mom very quietly began to speak. “Jenny, your brother passed on about a half hour ago.”
Silence...It seemed forever. “How's Daddy?” My voice cracked out.
“Here he is,” She handed the phone to him.
“Hi Jenny, um...mm...I love you.” That was all he could say.
I couldn't handle it anymore. The tears were more than I could handle. I couldn't breath. I was gasping for air as Mom took the phone back from Dad.
“Mom, I'm still coming home. I'll be there tomorrow. Michael says I can stay for as long as I need.”
A few days later we were all gathered at the cemetery. It was a bright sunny day. The temperature was fairly comfortable as a slight breeze was occasionally offered as a relief. Flowers adorned all the other headstones marking the Memorial Day remembrance.
It was a fairly large cemetery. Rich green grass lay below huge oak trees that offered shade to the ones resting peacefully below. A bird could be heard chirping a song in the distance. There was a cat strolling across the lawn as though he'd been through there many times before.
The family took turns sharing their memories and thoughts of Stephen. We had a very simple outdoor memorial service. He meant a lot to us, but never wanted anyone to fuss over him. The words that stick so vividly in our heads even to this day was said by Mom, “this is the first time that we all know exactly where Stephen is.”
At 30 years old, the rebel of staying in one place is finally at rest. Stephen is at a peace that he has never seen before. Little brother, I love you and always will remember you.
This is based on a true story of my brother. I have been an unpublished writer of short stories and poems since my early school years. I enjoy writing and find myself many times waking up in the middle of the night to jot a rough draft out. I have been a driver of America's roads for the past several years. Thank you for this opportunity to share my talents with so many of your readers.
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Email: MrsBluBrd@aol.com