8 Sermon Illustrations on Manhood

There is a book called “Missing From Action: Vanishing Manhood in America,” by Weldon Hardenbrook. He talks about four different types of false images of males.

First there is the MACHO MANIAC -- Dirty Harry, Rambo, Charles Bronson. These guys deny all their feelings; they ignore the law. They never worry, they never complain, they never apologize. They just sweat. They accomplish the impossible every eight minutes and take whatever they want and they bully people.

The second is the GREAT PRETENDER -- the Archie Bunkers of the world who try to build up their self esteem by belittling everybody else, particularly his wife and family. He imagines that he rules his family but really behind his back every is just ridiculing him. He is frightened by the world so he keeps it at an arm’s distance by talking tough and being critical.

The third type is the WORLD CLASS WIMP. These are the Dagwood Bumstead’s of life. They are so inept that they are constantly outwitted by their children, wives, their dogs. Nobody takes them serious. Their motto is “Blessed are the passive for they will avoid conflict at all costs.”

The fourth image is the GENDER BLENDERS. They are the Michael Jacksons and Boy Georges that don’t even pretend to be masculine. They have a complete reversal of roles and identity.

What is the alternative to this? God’s Model for Manhood. Being a male is a matter of your birth but being a man is a matter of choice. (Examples are given of Timothy and Epaphroditus in Philippians 2:19-30).

I think it was our son Doug's first official date with a girl - actually, just a couple of hours at the mall, really. The next day Doug ran into some of the guys from school who only wanted to know one thing about Doug's Friday night. “So how much did you get off her?” They weren't talking about money. They were talking about conquest. Doug came home pretty disgusted, frankly. He said, “Man, those guys; they're messed up!”

Well, I'm Ron Hutchcraft, and I want to have A Word With You today about “The Surprising Secret of a Real Man.”

Actually, a lot of us men have been raised on a messed up idea of what really makes you a man. Guys of all ages seem to think that it is conquest that makes you a real man - sexual conquest, athletic conquest, financial conquest, business conquest. So many men define their worth, their success, their masculinity by whether or not they are conquering. The conquistadores!

Virtually every guy has been told some where in his life, “Be a man!” But by whose definition? Is it your biceps that make you a man, your bank account, your bedroom exploits, being the boss? If you want to know what manhood is really all about, consult the Inventor of manhood - God. If you go by His definition, you get Designer Manhood - and that's the real thing.

And guess what? It is all about conquest, but in a very different arena than most of us were ever taught. It's exemplified in our word for today from the Word of God: Proverbs 16:32. “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” You say, “Hey, look at these trophies. Look at all the victories I've won. Look, I conquered this whole city!” God isn't impressed. He says, “Oh, yeah? How are you doing with your temper? Are you pretty patient?”

Here's the surprising secret of a truly powerful man: he is conquering ... himself! Not a woman, not an opponent, not a competitor, but himself! He's a thermostat who sets a healthy temperature everywhere he goes, not a thermometer who just keeps changing his temperature based on his surroundings.

What's it mean to be a man who is conquering himself? Well, a powerful man conquers his mouth. He eliminates the trash talk - the angry words, the critical words, the hurting words. He knows the power of his words and he controls those destructive words and specializes in encouraging words.

A powerful man also conquers his passions, focusing all his desire on his wife exclusively. Or, if he's single, keeping his relationships pure and his body reserved for his life partner.

A powerful man also conquers his coldness, showing his love, expressing his love so he doesn't leave a lonely son or a frustrated wife or daughter or mother who don't know where they stand.

Another conquest that displays real manhood is conquering your hardness - that unwillingness to ever admit you're wrong or that you're hurting.

A powerful man is also a conqueror of his neglect - his failure to spend the time with the people who love him, the time they so desperately need.

And, bottom line, a truly powerful man conquers his selfishness - his tendency to want everyone to revolve around him.

Designer manhood is all about conquest - about conquering yourself, which no man can do alone, no matter how self-sufficient we think we are. A man finds the power to conquer himself when he has finally been conquered - by the power and love of Jesus Christ.

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Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. "Practical Answers to Real Life Issues"

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ESPN recently published a story in which Kansas State offensive tackle Scott Frantz identified himself as a gay man. CNN quickly seized upon the story, prognosticating that the NFL would soon have its first openly gay player. The media was similarly entranced with Michael Sam, who became the first openly gay man ever drafted by the NFL in 2014.

Clearly those who seek to normalize homosexuality see a gay man playing in the NFL as the next Obergefell V. Hodges, the 2015 Supreme Court ruling legalizing same-sex marriage which constituted a significant step toward the normalization and acceptance of homosexuality.

An openly gay NFL player would be seen as a cultural victory -- a Jackie Robinson moment for those who, wrongly, equate the gay rights movement with the civil rights movement.

Stereotypes of American manhood are heavily influenced by the NFL. “Real men” are big, tough and muscular. The quintessential American man is exemplified by the likes of Joe Montana, Russell Wilson and Bo Jackson. He takes hits and keeps going. If a gay man plays in the NFL, the message is clear: Gay men are “real men.”

How should Christians respond? Perhaps surprisingly, Christians should be unmoved. Openly gay men will undoubtedly be successful and appreciated in the NFL just as they are in a variety of other vocations.

The real battle that should concern Christians is not the NFL but cultural assumptions regarding manhood. For too long, Christians have allowed culture to unduly influence our views of manhood. This latest news about the NFL is a good time for Christians to assert a biblical view of what it means to be a “real man.” Hint: It has nothing to do with a football.

Biblical manhood is first and foremost about fearing God, and not about inspiring fear in other men (see Proverbs 1:7, 1 Timothy 5:8, Romans 13:1-7, Ephesians 5:25).

Biblical manhood is not measured in rushing yards and passing percentage, but in love, service and holiness. The end zone of biblical manhood is faithfulness to Jesus and His local church. Hall of fame men are faithful to their wives, provide for their families and finish the race. Biblical men only resort to acts of violence when life and liberty are on the line, not for adulation or entertainment.

Of course, it is possible to play football and embrace biblical manhood; the two are not mutually exclusive. Nevertheless, where there are conflicting versions of masculinity, Christians should take notice and remain faithful to Scripture.

Gay men playing in the NFL may cloud the cultural picture of manhood, but not the biblical picture.

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[Original illustration at this number was added to HolwickID #11841]

According to America’s leading psychologists, it’s okay to be a man, but it’s not okay to be traditionally masculine.

A new report on boys and men from the American Psychological Association reminded me, again, why worldview is so important. The report is the first of its kind from the APA, which has previously issued guidelines for girls and women, as well as for so-called “sexual minorities.”

For years now, the APA has been at the forefront of legitimizing progressive gender and sexual ideologies, and this report is in that same vein. To put it mildly, their conclusions are less clinical recommendations than they are naked worldview assertions.

Of course, the report isn’t all false ideologies. It opens, in fact, by recognizing a true and painful reality: Men and boys in America are not doing well. They’re diagnosed with ADHD at twice the rate of girls, they perform worse on standardized tests, they’re suspended and expelled from school at a disproportionate rate. As they get older, men use drugs and alcohol more often. They don’t seek help for mental health issues like depression as frequently as women do. They commit 90 percent of homicides, and make up 77 percent of homicide victims. They account for 93 percent of federal prison inmates and are 3.5 times more likely than women to commit suicide. In fact, male suicides are up more than fifty percent in the U. S. since 1980. We’ve talked of these so-called “deaths by despair” a few times on BreakPoint.

Faced with all of these troubling realities, the APA identifies the problem with men as being “traditional masculinity,” which they define as “anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, and adventure, risk, and violence.”

That’s not how I define traditional masculinity. Anti-femininity? Violence? That sounds like being a jerk. Reading between the APA’s straw-men and caricatures, it becomes clear what assumptions are really behind the report.

Traditional masculinity, the authors go on to argue, is socially constructed. Real gender is “non-binary,” the report says. In fact, even identifying male sex with masculine gender betrays “heteronormative assumptions.” In other words, masculinity does not objectively exist. It is whatever we make it. The report actually says, “Psychologists should help boys and men create their own concepts of what it means to be male.”

LGBT ideology is taken by the authors of the report as gospel. “It’s no longer just (a) male-female binary,” says one. The report criticizes “individuals with religious affiliations and conservative social and political views, who may equate masculinity with heterosexuality.” These folks, hints the APA, need to be cured of their errant views.

The game here is painfully obvious. This isn’t science, it’s a worldview that sees masculinity as anyone would have defined it just a generation ago as a problem needing to be solved. But as David French writes at the National Review, the APA has it all backward. The real plight of boys and men today coincides with our culture’s rejection of traditional masculinity, not the embrace of it! To say that the answer is to further deconstruct what it means to be a man is ludicrous.

Our society has no fixed categories of what it means to be a man, much less any resources for catechizing the next generation of men.

To be a man doesn’t always mean being a tough guy, though that can come in handy. But it does mean protecting, loving, leading, fellowshipping with God, and cultivating our garden as Adam was to cultivate his. Masculinity reaches its pinnacle in Christ, who far from being a man of violence, laid down His life for His beloved, and invites all men to do the same.

Our culture’s rejection of these created truths is at the root of much of the real turmoil that the APA documents. But the solution isn’t to caricature and then reject masculinity like a disorder. It is to re-discover and embrace real masculinity, which God declared to be “very good.” Thankfully, the traits and roles of real masculinity aren’t socially constructed. They’re innate — created by God as an expression of His image complemented by and working in concert with femininity.

Unless we recognize this, it won’t be socially-constructed concepts of masculinity we’ll be pathologizing. It will be men themselves.

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Resources

Grown Men Are the Solution, Not the Problem

David French | National Review | January 7, 2019

APA issues first-ever guidelines for practice with men and boys

Stephanie Pappas | American Psychological Association | January 2019

APA Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men

PDF | August 2018

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Copyright (c) 2019 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.