Col No.30 The Christian Wife

2, and I'll read the 18th verse, and then will you come in on the 19th verse, and so forth until the end of the chapter. Genesis chapter 2. And the Lord said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help meet for him.

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found and help meet for him. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. We turn again to Paul's letter to the Colossians, and let me read to you from the third chapter. And just before I read two or three verses, let me say that Thursday week we shall be looking in the practical areas on this doctrine of marriage.

And I'm asking particularly married couples, if possible, to be present with us. And then after that study, which will be a relatively short one, we shall be going into the lounge and having some sharing together on some of the issues perhaps that are a problem in marriage circles, and yet perchance cannot be raised here in the pulpit. Now that doesn't just apply to those who are married, those who are going to get married, those who are still hopeful, you're also invited if you would like to come.

Colossians 3 verse 17, And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Nothing impresses me more about the contents of the Bible than the way in which it touches on so many subjects which are vital to our spiritual and indeed our physical well-being.

I have mentioned before and shall continue so to do, that the Apostle here in this third chapter is giving this a teaching of such value, because earlier on he's been talking about the mystical union that exists between a believer and the Lord Jesus. He says in those early verses, the fourth in particular, that Jesus Christ is our life. He goes on to say that Jesus will one day return in glory, and we have a part in that second advent, the latter section of verse 4. Now because of these great truths to which I've made reference and preached on at some length in weeks gone by, because of these great truths, if you really believe them, then they're going to affect the way that you live.

And we've been looking through this teaching, verse upon verse, which governs the Christian lifestyle. And last week, you remember, I said that though the Apostle makes a very comprehensive statement by way of praising in the 17th verse, whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus. He's not through.

There is another category of human life which particularly needs touching upon and teaching given. I refer of course to the Christian doctrine of the family. And by way of introduction and general principles, I brought to you certain points for your consideration last Sunday morning.

And so we continue. Let me remind you of one or two things which were self-evident, though perhaps I ran out of time, not an unusual experience. I didn't have the opportunity just to underline sufficiently last week.

The idea of marriage that is about in the secular world is a very phony, unreal, and unhealthy one. I would argue that only the Christian really understands the mystery and the majesty and the sanctity of wedlock. It's an unsavory notion, but nonetheless, it has to be said that the general idea of marriage, which is about today, the philosophy of Hollywood, the philosophy of the media, is that marriage is a context in which physical attraction can reach its consummation.

And because largely this view and this view alone is accepted in society, we see the breakdown of marriage on every hand. Not that the Bible has a criticism to make about the physical union, the sexual aspect of marriage. One would have to rip the Song of Solomon out of the Old Testament if that was the case.

What the Bible says is that that is part, a wonderful part, but by no means is it the whole. And it leads us on to consider not only the physical, but the intellectual and the emotional and the spiritual ways in which people come together and are made one flesh. And a little bit more sophisticated than that view, but still erroneous, is the notion that marriage is really a contrivance for the benefit of people so that instead of anarchy, we have family units.

This idea, very often you can read it in the works of anthropologists, really says this, that man evolved from a lower creature. He had instincts. These instincts were uncontrolled and anarchy was about, and it was necessary, therefore, for the position to be modified.

And as, for instance, to run an analogy to modern traffic conditions, we determined it was good for one vehicle going one way to go down the road on one side and another vehicle coming up the other way to come up on that side. And so we have these rules and regulations which, broadly speaking, govern men and women coming into family units. Well, again, this to us, though it's far better thinking than the former, is inadequate because the Christian believes that far from marriage being a human contrivance, it is divinely ordained by God.

And if you read the Old Testament and the New Testament, you find here ample teaching covering most of the problems that crop up and answering most, indeed, all of the questions which might be posed. Nothing, I think, is more interesting than to contrast some of the modern ideas on marriage or against marriage than what the Bible has to say. I was listening to some well-known film star on the BBC programme Any Questions the other week giving her views on marriage.

She said earlier on that she never really understood why she was invited onto that programme, because she knew so little about modern life. And, quite frankly, that was the most interesting contribution that she made during the whole of the programme. But she went on to say how she was anticipating the complete breakdown of marriage and how it would be much better if men and women never went through a marriage service and so on.

To the extent that the question master had to remind her that only a couple of years ago she had been on that programme enthralled at the fact that she'd just been married for the third or fourth time and she'd had that marriage made sacred, quote-unquote, in a church. You see, that perhaps is a little unfair, though nonetheless if people go on the public media they should expect to be quoted. It's an illustration of this modern viewpoint which really is all at sea.

But when you come back to the Old Testament and to the New Testament you find here rich, profound teaching on the doctrine of marriage. Here is instruction, my friend, my dear Christian sister and brother, which will control your activity and your domestic relationships in the kitchen and in the bedroom and also in the lounge. Here is teaching that will enrich your life.

Here are the manufacturer's instructions for any creature who is humble enough to believe that he doesn't know everything and needs to come before this inspired book for direction in this most important of subjects. And as I was arguing last Sunday morning, it's necessary for us to come before the whole of Scripture, not just to take one particular sentence, one particular instruction, but the whole kaleidoscope of Scripture's teaching. And you will see that it's a most wonderful doctrine that is enunciated, that is explained about marriage, touching on every area with the objective of sealing the marital union and of making family circles harmonious and happy.

Well then, if it is true, as I quoted last week, that the family circle is the masterpiece of the applied gospel, that there you are to work out whether the preacher on a Sunday has been talking nonsense or not, then let's go into the family circle just for a little while this morning. And let's examine the relationship of the wife to the husband. And you will observe here in the 18th verse that the apostle puts the ladies first.

He's dealing with this doctrine generally, but he touches on wives first and not husbands, and later on, on children first, as opposed to parents. Why is this? Well, you see, the apostle Paul is dealing with the subject of submission and leadership. And in the family circle, as he is inspired to see it, that's where wives come in first.

They are to be submissive to their husbands. That's why children take the premier position in his argument in the 20th verse. They are to obey their parents and not the other way around.

Well, let's not run on to the subject posed by children and their relationship to their parents. Let's just stick to husband and wife, wife and husband for a moment. And let me bring up what is often a hot chestnut as far as people's attitude to the apostle Paul is concerned when he's teaching in this area.

Was Paul really a woman hater? Was he anti-feminist? This is what we're sometimes told, are we not? Here is this bigoted Jew. I've heard it explained that he used to be married, and his marriage wasn't a very happy one. The idea for him being married is because it's reckoned that he was a member of the Sanhedrin, and that would have been impossible had he not been married.

But something happened. His wife died, and here's Paul, and he's relieved of his burden, he's relieved of his tension. So when he writes to the church at Corinth, he speaks of marriage in such a way as, well, yes, if you must, but far better not to.

He's got an anti-woman tendency in his makeup, so when he's speaking about women's position in the church, they have a subordinate role. They're not to teach. They're not to minister regularly.

They are indeed to be silent in the church. So the notion is that Paul is a man who is biased against women. Well, what have we to say about this? Is it just his male ego that says in the 18th verse, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband? Or are we doing the Apostle Paul a great injustice by saying that he was anti-woman? I think the latter is the case.

You see, when the Apostle writes his letters for someone who's so anti-female, quite a lot of women seem to come into his writings. And he's very complimentary towards them. He's very grateful for a lady called Louis and another called Eunice.

He's grateful for women who give hospitality as he moves around on his missionary activity. And when he talks about the message of the gospel, he has this to say in Galatians chapter 3 and verse 28. There is neither Jew nor Greek.

There is neither bond nor free. There is neither male nor female. For ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

Strange words from someone who's supposed to be biased against women. Let's look at another reference, Corinthians the first letter and the 11th chapter. And here the Apostle is dealing with the vexed question of women taking part in services and the hat or head covering of a woman.

But in the 11th and 12th verses, he has this to say. Speaking of the relationship between men and women. Nevertheless, neither is the man without the woman.

Neither the woman without the man in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman. But all things of God.

What's he arguing for there? Well, the equality of women. The necessity of women to make contribution in the ongoing of the gospel of Jesus Christ. They're not just to be tolerated.

One is to get enthusiastic about their fellowship. And of course, in this whole notion, this absurd idea that Paul is anti-women. You have to couple to the 18th verse of Colossians 3, the 19th.

Having told the women folk to submit unto their own husbands. He says, husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. He does exactly the same in Ephesians 5 when the teaching is much more lengthy.

He is so concerned for the other side of the coin. And these people who come along with their ridiculous notions that the apostle Paul is anti-women. Really show their ignorance of Bible teaching.

But another question I put up, just as a way of introducing this subject, was Paul novel? Was he novel in what he's saying here about wives submitting themselves unto their own husbands? And the answer to that is, no, he's not being novel at all. He's gathering together Old Testament teaching and the teaching of our blessed Lord. When you deal with the Christian doctrine of marriage in the latter half of the Bible, it sends you through to the first part of the Bible.

Jesus is asked on one occasion about divorce. And he says, although they cited examples from the time when Moses and those who followed him were giving teaching for the Israel community. Jesus is in the beginning.

It wasn't like that. Divorce wasn't an easy thing. Go back to the beginning, says the Savior.

If that's really how you, if that's the question that you really want answering. If you want to be sure on the doctrine of marriage. And when you go back to the beginning, what do you discover? Well, you find that the Lord God made woman for man.

He made her, Genesis chapter 3 and the latter verses, Genesis chapter 2 and the latter verses, for a help meat for man. Verse 20, Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found an help meat for him.

So what did the Lord God do? He causes a deep sleep to fall upon Adam. And from Adam comes forth woman. With the help, the supernatural intervention and creative power of Almighty God.

So Adam says, verse 23, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman. Because she was taken out of man.

An extension of man. A complement of man. Thank goodness, when Adam looked around the beasts of the field, he didn't find anyone who was quite satisfactory.

He wanted someone who was tailor made for him. But the point to be observed in this connection is that Adam was first. And woman followed him.

There's something remarkably different, as I hardly need to tell you, between man and woman. So the apostle Peter makes reference to this. Again, ensuring that our ideas do not suggest the apostle is, Paul is responsible for this teaching alone.

On the submission of women to men. The apostle writing in the first letter, which bears his name and the third chapter, says this in the seventh verse. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them, your wives, according to knowledge.

Giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel. But he goes on to say, and as being heirs together of the grace of life. She is the weaker vessel.

Physically speaking, of course, that argument could easily be substantiated. But in the sight of God, sharing the gospel of God, she is on an equal plane with man. So this is the interesting idea.

The Bible makes reference in Ephesians and elsewhere to the two becoming one. This is a great mystery, says the apostle. And we're glad that he uses that word.

We don't fully understand it. It's an illustration of that mystery that's even more so of the relationship of Jesus to his church. And in this remarkable mystery of man relating with woman.

He is first and she is second. Not with the idea that she is the slave of man. Nor even the servant of man.

But the help meat of man. Standing alongside him. Not in front of him.

Not a great deal behind him. But accompanying him throughout life. And in the marital union, the man is not on his own.

The woman is not on his own. They're both together. Complementing one another.

That great mystery to which, as I say, the Bible makes reference. Now, we cannot leave it there. What we have determined so far.

Is that God in his sovereignty. Before the fall. In the garden of Eden.

Brought forth woman. From the rib of man. He made her.

And man being first. The Lord indicated then. His leadership capability.

The authority that is his. To give names to the animals. He is to be the Lord of creation.

And his wife. His assistant. His help meat.

But. There was something else that happened. Do you remember? In the early chapters of Genesis.

Which are most important for us to remember. When dealing with the Christian doctrine of marriage. The fall occurred.

There was rebellion. Against the most high God. In as much as.

The temptation. Of the evil one. Was accepted.

And sin came into the world. Now, what does the Bible have to say about that? In the third chapter of Genesis. Which impinges upon our subject.

Unto the woman. Verse 16. Unto the woman.

God said. I will greatly multiply thy sorrow. And thy conception.

In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. And thy desire. Shall be to thy husband.

And he shall rule over thee. And it's the apostle Paul. In Timothy.

Who. Referring to that particular scripture. Makes.

Very interesting. Conclusions. His first letter.

And the second chapter. And the eleventh. Through to the fifteenth.

Verses. Let the women. Learn in silence.

With all subjection. But I suffer. Not a woman.

To teach. Nor to usurp authority. Over the man.

But to be in silence. For Adam. Was first formed.

Then Eve. And Adam. Was not deceived.

But the woman being deceived. Was in the transgression. Notwithstanding.

She shall be saved. In childbearing. If they continue in faith.

And charity. And holiness. With sobriety.

What does that mean? Well it amounts to this. My dear friend. The apostle.

Says that historically. Sin came into this world. Through Eve.

Falling foul to the temptations. Of the evil one. What she should have done.

According to the pattern. That God had established. In the second chapter of Genesis.

When confronted with this. Enticing. Controversial suggestion.

Was to have put this. To her husband. She did not.

She assumed authority. She was going to make the decision herself. She did exactly that.

She sinned. And from that position. She then went along to her husband.

And as a result. He is enticed also. Into sin.

Now this is in no way absolving Adam. From responsibility. But it is underlining a historic fact.

That Eve. Took upon herself a position. Which she was never intended to have.

Not in the world. Even before the fall. The man was the leader.

She was the help meat. She was to compliment him. But no.

She decides that she will go it on her own. Now says the apostle. Because of this.

It needs to be borne in mind. Always. That God's order.

In the world. Must be retained. It's the man.

Who has leadership. It's the man. Who comes along before the public.

As the decision maker. Not because his wife. Is servile to him.

Not because he doesn't consult her. But because naturally. In the creative order.

And purposes of God. This is what the Lord. Has decreed.

And let a man or a woman. In the 20th century. Who thinks this is all nonsense.

Realize this. That it is the very word of God. For the benefit of humankind.

And we have for so long. Taken an opposite philosophy. With the net result.

That marriages are crumbling. And crumbling and crumbling. The time is.

For us to return. To this biblical position. Of the wife.

Being submissive. To the husband. But is this position unreasonable? I heard of some.

With it clergyman. Not so long ago. Who refused to incorporate the word obey.

Into the marriage service. Because he wanted to get favor. From those who advance the current.

Popular opinion. But this is nonsense. This is patently illogical.

Take it outside the context. Of a marriage for a moment. Here's a football team.

Brighton and Hove. Let's use them. As the first suggestion.

That comes into my mind. Though I would rather. Go to the north of England.

For a better example. Are they all captains? The first time a football team. Comes together.

They have either to elect. Or to accept the manager's directive. As to who is the captain.

Let's come into the realm. Of the church. Here are eleven.

Twelve elders of the tabernacle. When they come together in conference. What happens? One of us.

Is the presiding elder. That must be the case. The elder cannot function.

Without acknowledging. One who will preside over. Not that he will domineer.

But he has the ability. Spiritually to navigate. And to pull the various ideas.

That are shared together. So that there is some unified policy. That is put before this church.

So that you are led. By men who are united. And spiritually recognize.

Their responsibilities to you. Take the house of parliament. The house of commons.

Did you. Were you as shocked as I was. When the BBC.

First planted a microphone in there. And you heard the noise. Reminded me of an oriental bazaar.

As one man after another man. Got up and there was the murmuring. And so on and so forth.

But you know. It would be infinitely worse. If they didn't have a speaker.

And sometimes he really has to assert. His authority to bring order. You see whenever there are people.

Working together. Planning together. There must be.

An accepted. Leadership. Also.

In the marital. Situation. So far from the position.

Being unreasonable. It's logical. It's the only situation.

Which will deliver us from anarchy. In the 20th century. Look tell me this.

What is the greatest problem. That is confronting western society today. Let me narrow it down.

What's the greatest problem. And I can speak with a little bit of experience. In the schools in the United Kingdom.

I'll tell you. It's the problem of authority. The breaking down of authority.

I taught for some years. Downtown London. In one of the largest comprehensive schools.

And without authority. And it was hard to maintain it. The school would have gone to pieces.

And at times. It almost broke into anarchy. And in the family circle.

What's causing. Breach today. Basically a lack.

Of authority. Put it bluntly. But honestly.

Too many bosses. Not only the wife. But also the kids.

Amazing what youngsters. Come out with today. As they assert their rights.

I've had to deal with 11 year olds. Before now. Who've told me what their democratic rights are.

It really is quite ridiculous. In the marital situation. Here is God's order.

And it's a reasonable order. My friend. I really need to go on further.

To explain this more. For our ladies who are present. You see.

This submission. That the apostle makes reference to. Is qualified in these words.

As it is fit. In the Lord. As it is fit.

In the Lord. You're not risking anything. By submitting.

To the leadership of your husband. The wife who projects herself. In front of the husband.

Who acts independently from the husband. In major issues. Is threatening her own marriage.

Far more than the person. Who is concerned to adopt. The biblical norm.

The wife you see. Has so much. To contribute.

Towards her husband. She compliments him. There's an area of sensitivity.

Within a woman. That we men have never had. And that area of sensitivity.

We need to share. That's why God. Has delightfully brought it about.

For many people. At any rate. To go through the marriage act.

To be one flesh. To compliment one another. But you threaten God's order.

When you think you've got a better program. Than the Lord has. So the Lord.

Inspires the apostle. To write these words. As it is fit in the Lord.

You see there's a built in. Qualification there. It means to say this.

And Colossus Ephesians. Makes it perhaps more clear. That my submissiveness.

To my husband. Is in the area where he rightfully. And I want him to.

Adopt the stance. Of leader. In any area.

Where God will be glorified. In my life. I submit myself to him.

Now and this is a problem. Particularly with those. Whose husbands are not Christian.

If it comes about. That your husband wants to do something. That is against your conscience.

Then he has no right. To ask you. And you have no right.

To agree. Submit yourself. As it is fit.

In the Lord. If he wants you to engage. Say in some sexual aberration.

Which is repulsive to you. You do not agree. Because before.

The authority of your husband. There is the authority. Of God.

You see how tempered. Scripture is. Wives.

You have a position. You compliment your husband. Even you wives.

Who are in the position. Where your husbands are not saved. There is a great deal.

That you can do. By fulfilling scriptural injunctions. To merit to win.

The conversion. Of your partner. The apostle Peter.

Makes it very clear. When he is writing. In his.

Epistle. So. The Bible says this.

After this manner. In the old time. Holy women.

Who trusted in God. Adorn themselves. Being in subjection.

Unto their own husbands. Even as Sarah. Obeyed Abraham.

Calling him. Lord. And he goes on to say.

That the inner adorning. Of a wife. With the spiritual graces.

Which Jesus will give. And the outworking of those graces. In the domestic situation.

Has positive evangelistic value. For the non-converted husband. And is of great value.

For the children. Of the family too. The apostle.

Tells us that the. Meek and the quiet. Spirit is in the sight.

Of God. A great price. And the Bible makes it very clear.

That women. Are not zombies. Who can't contribute.

Anything to the relationship. Rather they have a vital. Part to play.

In the marriage. But in public. Before the rest of the world.

So to speak. The husband takes the. Role of leadership.

And she is glad. To see. That this has happened.

And when the apostle. Says wives submit. To your husbands.

He also goes on. As we shall see next week. To say husbands.

Love your wives. As Christ. Loved the church.

And within that. Context of the love of Jesus. On the part of the man.

To the woman. There is no difficulty. In the area of submission.

For the woman. To the man. Amen.

Father we thank you. For the practical nature. In which this book.

That you have given. Deals with so many issues. Which confront us now.

We realize. That there may be those. Here this morning.

Who are in particularly. Complicated situations. We ask that at least.

Some pointer from your word. Will have been of help to them. And be with all of us.

Married or unmarried. And enable us. In our homes.

In our relationships. To glorify you. And to follow the.

God given pattern. For the conducting. Of our affairs.

For Jesus sake. Amen.