292 Sermon Illustrations on Preaching

Man of faith (ch. 17), courage earnest- ness (ch. 18), resignation (19:15). Boldly denounced evil (ch. 21). Tenderness (ch. 17:19). Prayer (18:36). Loyalty to God (17:1, 8; 21:17).

In the town of Goslar, in the Hartz mountains, there is in the principal square a fountain evidently of mediæl date, but the peculiarity of its construction is that no one can reach the water so as to fill a bucket or even get a drink to quench his thirst. Both the jets, and the basin into which they fall, are above the reach of any man of ordinary stature; yet the fountain was intended to supply the public with water, and it fulfils its design by a method which we never saw in use before; every person brings a spout or trough with him long enough to reach the top of the fountain and bring the water down into his pitcher. We are afraid that all our reverence for antiquity did not prevent the full exercise of our risible faculties; sixpennyworth of mason's work with a chisel would have made the crystal stream available to all; but no, every one must bring a trough or go away unsupplied. When preachers of the gospel talk in so lofty a style that each hearer needs to bring a dictionary, they remind us of the absurd fountain of Goslar. The use of six-syllabled jaw-breaking words is simply a most ludicrous vanity. A little labour on the part of such pedants would save a world of profitless toil to their hearers, and enable those uneducated persons who have no means of reaching the preacher's altitude to derive some measure of instruction from his ministry.

A sermon ought to be like a musical box ; we wind it up when we preach it, and then it goes on playing until its tune is through. It should be said of a good sermon, "It being ended, still speaks." Hear what you hear in such a way that it shall be a seed, which will grow in the garden of your heart.

One of John Wesley’s friends was terribly shocked to hear him preach to a well-groomed congregation a merciless sermon from the text, “Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?” “Sir,” said Wesley’s friend angrily, “such a sermon would have been suitable in Billingsgate; but it is highly improper here.” Wesley replied, “If I had been in Billingsgate, my text should have been, ‘Behold the lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world.’”

The longest sermon on record was preached by the Rev. Isaac Barrow, a Puritan preacher of the seventeenth century, who once delivered a sermon in Westminster Abbey lasting three hours and a half; and the shortest sermon ever preached was perhaps the sermon which Doctor Whewell was fond of repeating from the text, “Man is born unto trouble as the sparks fly upward.”

The sermon occupied barely a minute in delivery, the following being a verbatim report:

I shall divide the discourse into three heads: (1) Man’s ingress into the world; (2) His progress through the world; (3) His egress out of the world.

Firstly, his ingress into the world is naked and bare.

Secondly, his progress through the world is trouble and care.

Thirdly, his egress out of the world is nobody knows where.

To conclude:

If we live well here, we shall live well there.

I can tell you no more if I preach a year. Then he gave the benediction.

See TACT.

SPEAKING TO DO GOOD

A writer in the London _Mail_ has this to say concerning Theodore Roosevelt while in Egypt:

At Cairo he was asked to leave out his reference to the murder of the Prime Minister. “No,” he answered, “that is just what I want to say. If you do not care about it let us call the engagement off.”

There spoke the essential Roosevelt, not the politician, but the preacher. His object in speaking is to do good. To give advice, to stiffen healthy instincts, to strengthen public opinion against meanness and cruelty, to induce every man and every woman to make the best of themselves--those are the essential Roosevelt aims. His style smacks more of the pulpit than the platform.... “If I had been a Methodist,” he once declared, “I should have applied for a license as a lay preacher.” Since then he has obtained his license to preach--but from a greater body than the Methodist Conference. He is preacher-in-general to the whole civilized world.

Many pastors approach the Bible like American tourists in Asia - they stay at Western hotels, eat hamburgers, use American Express to buy trinkets. This way there is a minimum of culture shock. The illusion of travel, without its risk - or profit. But it destroys the integrity and independence of that other world. Likewise, just hitting the high spots and well-known passages of Scripture is not enough. The hearers must assimilate to the culture of the Bible, not vice-versa.

I know a minister whose shoe lachet I am unworthy to unloose, whose preaching is often little better than a sacred miniature painting — I might almost say holy trifling. He is great upon the ten toes of the beast, the four faces of the cherubim, and the mystical meaning of badgers’ skins; but the sins of the businessmen, the temptations of the times, and the needs of the age, he scarcely ever touches upon. Such preaching reminds me of a lion engaged in mouse-hunting.

#1747

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The Reformers differed as to when the church may be said to be truly present. A sentimental evangelical will be satisfied with the verse, “Where two or three are gathered, there am I in the midst.” Where Jesus is, the church is. But the context makes it clear a great deal more is involved than a devotional meeting. A prayer meeting and ecclesia are not the same thing.

For some Reformers like Beza and Alsted the preaching of the pure doctrine of the Word constitute the one exclusive mark of the true church. Yet the truth can be preached ever so powerfully while sin goes rampant and unchecked in the congregation.

For Calvin and others the preaching of the Word was not enough. There had also to be the right administration of the sacraments. These were not to be divorced from the Word or even from its visible preaching. There was no magic in the sacraments. They represented simple obedience to Scripture.

But for other Reformers a third element was essential. Acknowledged to be something wholesome, it was for Christians of the Anabaptist tradition an element without which the church did not exist: godly exercise of discipline among its members. In this, at times, they seem to have gone beyond even the Roman Catholic position.

Before we tackle the main topic of sermon illustrations, it is important to recall a few facts about preaching.

In reading, if you miss the author's point, you can go back and reread the paragraph. If the author's exposition is complex, you can scan over the text or flip to the introduction to regain your bearings. It is important to remember that your congregation cannot do any of these things while you are preaching. They hear your sermon in the order that you preach it and at the speed you preach it. If they are distracted for any reason, they may miss a portion of what you say. They don't know where you're going until you actually get there.

Most pastors have attended seminary, and when they first begin preaching, their sermons sound like academic papers - but when they are read out loud to an audience that does not possess a printed copy, even the most readable academic papers become indigestible. Remember, your sermon is going to be heard, not read, so organize it accordingly.

Oral exposition must necessarily be simpler than written exposition, because no one can go back over the text and reread a passage they didn't understand the first time. If your illustrations have too many details, even if they are all relevant to your point, your point will be lost. If your argumentation has too many points, even if they all build to your conclusion, your congregation will still be struggling to make sense of all the points and they won't hear the conclusion. Make sure that your exposition is simple, direct, and compelling.

One way to do this is to include illustrations. Here are a few general tips:

* Get to the point and do not dwell on the story. Otherwise, the

congregation will remember the story and forget the point.

* Use a variety of illustrations over time. You don't want your

congregation to tune you out because they perceive that you're just

riding your hobby horse. For example, it is moving and appropriate to

talk about the last things that Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote before he

was executed by the Nazis. However, if all your illustrations deal

with Nazis, some in your congregation will hear history lessons

instead of the gospel and your point will be lost.

* Keep the illustrations simple, with just the right level of detail.

While details make the illustration colorful, too much color is garish

and the picture is lost. For example, if you are deriving a lesson

from your observation of an anthill you saw on a picnic, don't include

information about the menu. The congregation doesn't know where you

are going with the story, so they must retain all details until they

figure out which ones are important. If you load them down with too

many colorful details, or if they pick the wrong details to follow,

they'll miss your point.

* Use illustrations sparingly. If you use too many illustrations, your

congregation will be overwhelmed by the picture gallery and never get

the point.

ILLUSTRATIONS THAT PRESUME TOO MUCH

Be mindful that your congregation does not have the same shared experience. Not everyone is married, not everyone has children, not everyone has living parents, not everyone grew up in the local area. It's okay if an illustration flies over someone's head now and then, but make sure you don't fly over the same people on a regular basis. If a person hears too many irrelevant illustrations, you can make them feel like outsiders, and the alienation may cause them to tune you out or even leave the church. I once attended a service that had a narrow focus. The prayers, the songs, the sermon, everything presumed that the congregation consisted solely of married couples in their thirties, whose parents were still living and who had small children. However, that was not actually the case. The service alienated everyone who was single, widowed, divorced, orphaned, adopted, childless, infertile, too old, too young, or whose parents had died, and some walked out in pain.

We should hold marriage and family life in high honor, but we should never allow even the affirmation of virtue to push the lambs for whom Christ died off the precipice and into the pit of despair.

ILLUSTRATIONS FROM SPORTS, WARFARE, OR CONTROVERSIAL EVENTS

Wartime generates a lot of good illustrations, because it is a time when anxiety is high and when people learn many insightful truths about life - but not everyone in your congregation lived through the same wars that you did. You may think you are making a point, but the old people are smiling at your youth and the young people are tuning you out as an old fogy. If you dwell on the name of the war or the identity of the enemy, you may raise issues that obscure your point. It's tempting to reminisce about the decade in which the war occurred, but that usually an extraneous detail. Allow your listeners to concentrate on the situation and the lesson you want to derive from it. Be careful also that the inherent violence of the situation doesn't overcome your point.

Any time you tell draw a lesson from a controversial event, be careful to focus on your point so that you do not bring in extraneous issues. If the backdrop is controversial, and you do not deal with it skillfully, your congregation will be unable to hear your sermon as they mentally debate the incidental issues. Make sure that you do not raise issues that you do not intend to deal with. If you've ever had the experience of preaching on topic A, but discovering that the congregation heard topic B, which was not edifying and which you wanted to avoid, this is what went wrong.

Not everyone is a sports fan. To people who do not follow football, a football story is simply incomprehensible, and whatever point you're making is lost. Then by the time your story is over, they have found something to interesting to read in the bulletin or to whisper to a friend, and your sermon has no effect on them because they are no longer paying attention. If you relate how God answered the prayer of a football player, someone in the congregation may rightly wonder where God was in the life of the man he tackled - and instead of learning of God's providence, he'll question God's justice. It's okay to use football stories, but make sure that everyone can follow along.

ILLUSTRATIONS FROM HISTORICAL PERSONAGES

Not everyone has the same opinion about historical figures - especially if your congregation is ethnically mixed or comes from different regions of the country - so a story about Robert E. Lee's piety may be offensive to those who associate him with slavery. Of course, you could attempt to balance it by telling a parallel story about Martin Luther King, but unless you pull it off skillfully, you may just end up offending everyone. In my opinion, it's not good to use stories from nonbiblical historical figures. If they are recent, not everyone holds them in the same esteem, and the point is lost. If they are from the distant past, the story sounds idealistic and irrelevant.

STORIES ABOUT THE PREACHER

Personal stories can humanize you in the eyes of your congregation, by reassuring them that you can relate to their struggles and victories - but they can also backfire, by leaving them with the impression that you are defective.

If you recount an uplifting experience that is too sublime, you may think you are transporting the congregation to worlds above, but if they can't follow, they may conclude that you are trying to glorify yourself or that you are a delusional airhead. Some spiritual experiences contain things that you should not relate - Paul and John both testify to this in scripture. Suppose you had a vision of Jesus on the cross. If you talk about it in the sermon, make sure that you keep it in proportion, or you will lose a significant part of the congregation, as they sit poised on the edge of the pew for the cue to call the men in white coats. Tone down positive stories about yourself, make sure that they are believable, that they don't make you sound delusional, and that they are not self-serving.

If you recount a personal crisis of faith or a sin, make sure that you spend more time on the lesson you learned than on the problem itself. If you dwell too much on the negative part of the story, you may feel cleansed by the confession, but before the service is over, you will find out that you have disqualified yourself in the eyes of your congregation. Suppose you did something in college under peer pressure, but you regretted it instantly and resolved never to do it again. If you dwell too much on your attraction to vice, in an effort to empathize with those under temptation, they may be wondering if they want a delinquent as a pastor. If the story is particularly disquieting, they may despair - for if you, their leader in the faith, have lost your way, how can they possibly be on the right path? If, for example, your mother's death leaves you in anguish and despair and without hope, then who will give them hope?

TALKING TO THE CONGREGATION

It is often a good idea to address the congregation in the imperative mood, to bless them and empower them. If you are requiring them to do things they are inclined but afraid to do, or conferring blessings and pardon, you'll come across quite well. However, you must use your authority sparingly, or they will dismiss you as excessively bossy or presumptuous.

A good rule of thumb is to use “you” when you are praising the congregation and “we” when you are criticizing them. That way you include yourself in your criticism and you don't come across presumptuous or judgmental.

TALKING ABOUT OUTSIDERS

A cheap way to denounce evil practices is to attribute them to third parties who are not present in the room and who therefore cannot defend themselves. There are two problems with this technique:

* You may create or exacerbate a paranoid us-versus-them mentality that

thwarts the Great Commission by reinforcing bigotry or prejudice.

* Your description will not be valid for all the members of the group,

and if anyone in your congregation knows someone who belongs to the

group but does not fit your characterization, you will discredit

yourself in their eyes.

For example, suppose you are incensed by a recent civil suit in which a lawyer got a large percentage of his client's exorbitant settlement, and you want to use that as an illustration in your sermon. You might be tempted to characterize lawyers as obsessed with money. However, if a member of your congregation is related to a lawyer who nearly bankrupted himself by taking on a pro bono case, you will put that member in distress and you will lose not only him, but all the other people in whom he seeks solace.

Whenever you characterize a group, make sure that the characterization is specific. Make sure that your condemnation is conditional and admits to exceptions, and that you hold even the vilest members of the group as lovable and redeemable.

JESUS ON SERMON ILLUSTRATIONS

Follow Jesus' example. He never draws a lesson from the lives of historical heroes. He tells no anecdotes about Judas Maccabee or Antiochus Epiphanes, historical figures everyone knew about at the time. He doesn't draw any lessons from the incidents that occurred during that war, even though it liberated Judea and made it an independent country until the Romans came. Jesus' lessons come from stories about anonymous people in everyday situations.

Follow Jesus' example. Use a broad variety of illustrations from everyday life, make sure they are pointedly relevant, use them judiciously and sparingly, keep the details sparse, and get to the point quickly.

Follow Jesus' example. Invert the congregation's expectations when you characterize groups to make a point. Ordinary Judeans in the first century respected Pharisees, scribes, and rich people, but they were suspicious of Samaritans, tax collectors, and poor people. So Jesus uses Pharisees, scribes, and rich people as the bad guys in His illustrations, and He uses Samaritans, tax collectors, and poor people as the good guys.

How do you feed people with finicky spiritual tastes?

A year ago my wife's work schedule shifted, and preparing dinner became my responsibility. My range of meals was limited: a bowl of Wheat Chex and a lunch-meat sandwich. I quickly developed an expanded array of dinners for my boys to choose from: spaghetti with Prego three-cheese sauce, spaghetti with Ragu traditional sauce, spaghetti with Kraft parmesan cheese.

The first time or two their palates bathed in my spaghetti creations, my sons cleaned their plates. But soon the proud chef began to get a different response to his triumphant announcement, "Spaghetti's ready!"

"Aw, Dad, don't we have anything else?"

I was incredulous. "You don't want my spaghetti?"

"No, Dad, we've had that for days."

I learned something about my boys: They want a menu that looks like the classified ads of the Chicago Tribune; they want more choices. When they're really hungry, anything will do -- even spaghetti. But otherwise they get picky.

The same thing can be true in church. Sometimes it seems we preach to only two kinds of people: the starving and the stuffed. Younger Christians devour every sermon. To them it's all new, all delicious. But our homiletically plump attenders, some of whom have been in church a lifetime, have indifferent appetites. For them our sermons may seem like just another plate of spaghetti.

Must Bible truths inevitably lose their flavor? How do we preach to those who have heard it all?

I discussed this challenge with some sermon connoisseurs and discovered seven ingredients that can season a sermon, turning it from truck-stop fare into an appetizing home-cooked meal.

ROUND OUT BIBLE CHARACTERS

For many sermon veterans, familiar Bible characters are flat, one- dimensional, either good or bad. Flat characters are fine for fairy tales, but real people have inner tensions, complications, and mixed motives. Saints have their selfish moments, and even in the darkest of souls a light flickers now and then. When a preacher portrays that, weary listeners take interest.

[see #3958 for Haddon Robinson on "Pharisee and Tax Collector."]

Rounding out Bible characters often requires sanctified imagination. The Bible may not explain all the motives for someone's action, but if we put ourselves in their silk or sackcloth, we soon appreciate what they were going through.

MAKE APPLICATION SPECIFIC

A friend confessed frustration with his pastor's sermons: "He spends the entire thirty minutes talking up in the clouds. I wish he would give me one concrete example of what he wants me to do!"

An example is more powerful than an explanation.

There's a world of difference between telling someone that prayer changes things and sharing a fresh example of a situation transformed by prayer.

[see #3959 for John Killinger with illustration on prayer.]

Giving concrete examples of how to put a sermon into action doesn't always require telling a story. It can mean just being specific about what you want people to do. For example: "Let me suggest four specific ways that you might improve your Bible reading in 1996. (1) Some people are helped by using a one-year Bible that organizes Scriptures into a reading for each day of the year. (2) Others like listening to the Bible on audiotapes in the car or while they work around the house. (3) Some benefit from a special Bible that gives study notes or discussion questions or illustrations. (4) Others need to be accountable to a friend to discuss the highlights of their reading."

There are many ways to get specific with application. By employing these techniques, we put the ball in the listener's court. A plan of action is presented. A challenge is issued. The rest is up to them.

LET IT GRIP YOUR SOUL

A critical quality in preaching effectively to those who've heard it all is sincerity. If our sermon is honest and heartfelt, a truth as common as "Jesus loves you" can thunder for listeners.

Authenticity is heightened when we are humble and transparent. When we pray through our message until it grips our soul, we can preach with honest passion and avoid the sin of self-righteousness.

[see #3960 for Leith Anderson on overcoming fear.]

ADDRESS THE TOUGH QUESTIONS

We would like to think that hearing a lot of sermons would answer most of a person's questions. Yet even people who have heard it all love to hear a preacher tackle the tough ones.

[see #3961 for Mary Graves on dealing with self-condemnation.]

This is not some casual aside or homiletical meandering. Graves has first raised, then addressed, an issue that even longtime listeners want to understand.

PROBE THEIR SPIRITUAL CONDITION

The will of God is infinitely challenging, and the sinful nature finds unlimited ways to sin. It's nice to be profound. It's more important to be penetrating.

When we probe the depths of the human heart, enabling our listeners to see how their lives compare to God's will, we will challenge people. Sincere followers of Christ earnestly want that challenge on a regular basis. And even those who have heard it all may admit they are not assimilating every sermon.

[see #3962 for Stuart Briscoe on confronting our spiritual condition.]

Briscoe refuses to let the subject of spiritual change remain abstract. His probing questions will lead all but the most hardened listeners to self- examination.

HARNESS THE POWER OF STORY

Jesus preached to people who had heard it all before. He came telling stories.

Listeners will rate even the most elementary idea as great preaching if we can help them feel it one more time in their hearts.

[see #3963 for Bryan Wilkerson on God's purpose in our lives.]

The ability to paint pictures on the walls of the soul is a hallmark of great preachers.

UTILIZE SURPRISE

When we tell stories from an unexpected point of view, adopt the contrarian perspective, or use a surprise ending, we can catch people familiar with the conventional.

[see #3964 for William Willimon on a dramatic funeral sermon.]

Willimon's surprise ending jolts listeners out of their complacency. Those who've heard it all may seem to have stony hearts and minds. But "the finest edge," said John Lyly, "is made with the blunt whetstone."Preaching to the whetstones in our midst can sharpen our communication skills.

********************

Craig Brian Larson is interim pastor of Lakeshore Assembly of God in Chicago, Illinois.

Copyright (c) 1995 Christianity Today, Inc./LEADERSHIP Journal

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#3957

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"I have always liked the definition of preaching given by

Professor Chad Walsh, 'The true function of a preacher is to

disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.'"

John Stott THE PREACHER'S PORTRAIT p85

Printed in the Summer Catalogue- July 17-21 at the Graduate Theological Union Cooperative summer Session, Berkely, CA.

Queer Preaching - G. Penny Nixon

"This advanced preaching course is open to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered [g/l/b/t], and other preachers who want to explore subjects such as incarnational preaching (how to use our queer bodies in preaching), queer hermeneutics and preaching, mystical experiences and preaching, truth-telling and self-revelation in preaching, and using the 'g/l/b/t canon' as preaching tool. The class consists of daily lectures, small group work, and daily clinics in the practice of preaching. This is a laboratory class in which participants receive individual coaching and feedback in preparing sermons; class size is limited to 12. Early registration is recommended. (Students must have afternoons free for the scheduling of preaching clinics.) Prerequisite: previous homiletics class."

__________________________

What I really want to see is a course in "Baal Worship 101 - Basics for Caring & Compassionate Child Sacrifice."

Pastor John Mazarella

*

A preacher in India began his sermon on 1 Corinthians 13 as follows: "The beatific familiarity of this chapter traditionally appointed for Quinquagesima must never cause us to neglect its profundity."

His interpreter translated this for the benefit of the

Indian congregation as follows: "The speaker has not said

anything worth remembering so far. When he does I will let you

know."

1500 ILLUSTRATIONS FOR PREACHING & TEACHING

Backhouse compiler p308-9

There were these two boys that were growing up. One was a

Wesleyan and one was a Catholic. They were good friends and they

always talked about the church that they went to. And so one day,

the Wesleyan decided that he would go to church with the Catholic

and the Catholic decided that he would go to church with the

Wesleyan. So the Wesleyan boy went to church with the Catholic

boy one Sunday. And while they were sitting there in the service,

the Catholic explained to this Wesleyan boy everything that they

did. He explained why the prayed the way that they did, when they

stood up, when they sat down, what they said. He explained

everything and he told him all of these things and what they

meant. And so they left church and the next Sunday, they went to

the Wesleyan Church. And the little Catholic didn't understand.

He thought, "man these Wesleyans are weird people". And so, the

Wesleyan began to explain why we pray like we pray, why we sit

like we sit, why we stand like we stand, why we take the offering

like we do and all of these things. And at this particular

Wesleyan church, they had a pastor who had a habit of preaching a

long time. And one of the things that the pastor would always do.

He would always take his watch off and he would lay it right there

like that. Because everyone always got on him about how long he

preached. And so, here's this little Catholic boy sitting in the

service and he saw the preacher take off his watch and set it

right there, and so the boy asked, "What does that mean?" And so

the Wesleyan boy responded: "It doesn't mean a thing."

Dan Tilley

NewLife Wesleyan Church

Waldorf, Maryland

(06/04/91)

Two gentlemen were travelling on a plane and were seated next to each other.

One turned to the other and asked, what do you do? The gentleman replied: "I am a minister."

"Oh," said the first man. "I don't believe in this religious stuff. It's for kids, you know, 'Jesus Loves Me This I know, for the Bible tells me so.…'"

The minister politely laughed and asked the other man what he did for a living.

"I am an astronomer," said the first man. "Oh, that stuff," said the minister. I thought it was just for kids, you know - 'Twinkle,twinkle little star.…'"

"THE PERFECT PREACHER" After 100s of years the perfect preacher has finally been found. He preaches exactly 20 minutes and then sits down. He condemns sin but never hurts anyone's feelings. He works from

7 AM to 10 PM in every type of work from preaching to taxi service. He makes $500 a week, owns a home, a nice car, is sending his kids to college, and gives $100 a week to the church. He is 26 years old and has been preaching for 30 years. He has a burning desire to work with youth, but spends all his time with the older folks. He is well-educated but never says anything we didn't know already. He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls a day on church members, spends all his time evangelizing the lost, and is never out of his office.

There used to be a rule among some tribes in Africa. When a person rose to deliver a public speech he had to stand on one foot while saying what he had to say. The moment his other foot touched the ground the speech had to end or he was forcibly silenced.

A speaker beginning his talk at a club meeting advised, "My job, as I understand it, is to talk to you. Yours, as I understand it, is to listen. If you finish before I do, just hold up your hand.

Winston Churchill advised, "If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit in once. Then come back and hit again."

Brett Younger writes: "In [the film] A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN, the manager of the women's baseball team explains to one of his players, `It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. That's what makes it great." "A Preacher's Guide to the Moves," PAPERS OF THE ANNUAL MEETING OF THE ACADEMY OF HOMILETICS (Lousiville, KY, December 2-5, 1992), pp. 142-143.

Martin Marty recounts a story from Walter Wangerin in CONTEXT. It comes from a time when Wangerin was pastor of an inter-city church in Evansville, Indiana:

Lillian Lander, an old black woman, would shake my hand each Sunday after services, lining up with everyone else and waiting her turn. She is short. Always I had to look down in order to find her. She is soft-spoken. Always I had to bow down in order to hear her. She is inner-city and self-educated, as was most of the parish then; but she chose her words with particular care, and always I weighed those words to find their value. Some Sundays she would say, "You taught us today, pastor." Other Sundays she said, "Hooo!" and "Mm-hmmmm! How you did preach!"

So, I stopped her one Sunday, holding tight to her hand. "Lillian," I said, "sometimes you say I teach."

“Mmmmm-hmm.”

"And sometimes you say I preach."

“Mmm-hmmm.”

"Is there a difference?"

She gazed at Wangerin a moment as though to say, "Didn't they tell you in the seminary?" So he asked, "Well, what is the difference?"

"When you teach, I learn somethin' for the day. I can take it home, and I can do it." She paused. "But when you preach, God is here. God is holding us. And sometime he smilin'. And sometime he be frownin', surely." Wangerin still did not understand.

Marty directs the reader to THE ORPHEAN PASSAGES (Harper and Row) and an article in Publishers Weekly, entitled "Telling Tales," from Mar 7, 1986, pp. 39-40. Marty's item was in the May 15, 1986 issue of Context.

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The

first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he

calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on

a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few

words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon... and it takes

eight people to collect all the money!"

A minister visited a rural family for supper and they ate before

church.

He explained that he couldn't eat very much if he wanted to preach a

good message.

After supper the wife asked the husband to go on to the service with

the minister while she washed the dishes and then worked in the

nursery.

When the husband returned, she asked him how the preaching was.

"Oh, to tell you the truth he may have as well et," said her

husband.

- Unknown

- PULPIT HELPS, Sept., 1990

A young minister prepared to give his first sermon. As he read and observed, he could see so clearly everyone's mistakes, and how simple it would be to set everyone straight. He couldn't wait for the big day when he would be able to lower the boom on the congregation.

Finally, the big day came, and he rose for the great occasion. After a few minutes, he realized he was in trouble and began to sense that maybe he wasn't the hope of the world. After a few more minutes, he began to wish he'd never heard of preaching, and that there was a trap door behind the pulpit that would allow him to press a button and quickly slip out of sight. Of course, there wasn't and finally, after five minutes, which seemed to be hours, he said a hasty benediction. With his head hung, he left the pulpit, discouraged, broken and beaten.

As he walked to the rear, an old, white-haired war-horse slipped his arm over the boy's shoulder and said, “Son, IF YOU'D HAVE GONE UP LIKE YOU CAME DOWN, YOU COULD HAVE COME DOWN LIKE YOU WENT UP.”

Humility is the quality that will enable you and others to enjoy your success.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickId #12748]