Raising a Godly Family

Now, when you come to the last book of the Old Testament, which is the book of Malachi, you can see how disappointed the Lord was with his people. He asked questions like this, Malachi chapter 1 verse 6, a son honors his father and a servant to his master. If I am a father, where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is my respect? They called him father and master, but they didn't respect him.

But remember that they did not have the Holy Spirit. It's very sad if God has to say that to us today, when we have the Holy Spirit. And they were presenting to God cheap offerings, offerings that cost them nothing.

It says in verse 8, they offered the blind and the lame and the sick. You know, they knew they had to offer some offering to the Lord. So they looked through their flock and if they found a blind sheep, which is a bit of a nuisance in any case, he said, let's offer it to the Lord.

And if they found a lame goat, which is a bit of a nuisance, they said, let's offer it to God. Or if there was a sick ox, they would present it to the Lord. Verse 8, they were offering to God that which they wanted to get rid of in any case.

And the Lord says in verse 8, if you offer that to your governor, middle of verse 8, will he be pleased with you? Or will he receive you kindly? It's, he's saying that there are earthly authorities whom you would show more respect to than to me. That's a good question for all of us to ask ourselves, as to the things that we offer to the Lord. And they were in the Old Testament, they didn't even have the Holy Spirit.

But how much more in the New Testament? I believe, you know, all of us, we give offerings to the Lord. Even a prayer, when you pray, it's an offering to the Lord. When you come to a church service, it's an offering to the Lord.

When you give money, it's an offering to the Lord. Anything that you do, or you do a service for somebody else in the church, you help someone else or you do anything, it's a service for the Lord, but the question is, is it something we somehow, okay, we want to finish that and we can get rid of it and then move on. So often a lot of people's prayer is like that.

Okay, I have an obligation to pray and I, okay, let me pray and then move on. I've got a lot of other important things to do. But I have to finish with my Bible reading.

Okay, I spent five minutes and read the Bible and I eased my conscience. And then I had to pray a little and I finished with that and I move on. Now, if that is the way your Christian life is, actually you're no better than these folks either.

The Lord says, would you treat a human authority like that? Would you treat a human authority who has come to your house with the same casual attitude you have towards your Heavenly Father? I believe it's a question that we really need to ask ourselves and because God was very patient with them. And he even said in verse 10, I wish the priests would shut the gates and say, we don't want this type of offering. Don't bring all your third rate, useless stuff, which you don't need in any case in your flock.

You come and get that to the Lord and he says, I wish there were leaders in your church, priests and all who would shut the gates and say, sorry, God is not going to accept that. And I believe the Lord is saying today, I wish there were preachers who would tell people the truth. That you must not offer to God something which is so casual and your attitude towards the Lord must be much more respectful than your attitude to some earthly authority.

That's a good way to examine ourselves. If the governor of the state came to our house for something, with what respect would we give him and how would we treat him? I mean, it's good to meditate on that thing. How would I treat an earthly authority who comes to my house one day and anything that I give him or present to him, the respect I show to him? And I need to ask myself, do I treat almighty God with that same respect that I have for an earthly authority? And if not, the Lord says, shut the gates.

I don't want any of your offerings. I don't want to listen to your prayers if you don't have any respect. A lot of people, even their reading of the Bible is so casual.

Oh, I have to do this just to ease my conscience. Now that's okay for third rate Christians who don't know the Lord or backslidden Christians who once knew the Lord but have drifted away from God. Let them go whichever way they like.

They're probably on their way to hell. In any case, on their way to hell, let them take that casual attitude to Bible reading and everything else. I'm not bothered about that.

But we are serious Christians here or we should be serious Christians. And we must treat God's word and our time with the Lord with respect. Very, very important.

There's a great lack of respect among God's people for him. The casual way they pray and talk to the Lord. And one other thing he goes on to say in chapter two is, in chapter two, verse 14 and 15, Malachi 2, 14, 15.

He says, there's another thing I want to say about your family life. Okay, first I've spoken to you, the Lord says, about your attitude towards me. Now I want to talk about your family life.

The Lord has been a witness, verse 14. The Lord has been, it is in verse, let's begin at 13. There's another thing that you all do.

You cover the altar of the Lord with weeping and groaning, because he no longer regards your offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Yet you say, why? Why doesn't the Lord accept our prayer? Because he says, the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth. The wife of your youth means, you remember the day you got married to your wife.

How much you loved her and you were so excited to get married to her that day, when you were a young person. And now, you treat her so casually, and you've dealt with her treacherously. Even though she's supposed to be your companion, your friend.

Do you treat your wife like your close friend? And she's your wife by a covenant that you made when you got married. But you treat her so casually. You think the Lord doesn't take note of that? He took note of that in the old covenant under, before the day of Pentecost, before the Holy Spirit came.

He was treating those, he was treating that very seriously. How much more today? Our family life, our relationship as husband and wife with each other, is something the Lord takes note of very carefully. How do you treat your wife? How do you treat your husband? And then, he goes on to the next step and says, why did he make you both one? In verse 15, what did that one do? Verse 15, it says, in the margin, it says, why did God make you both one? So that he might have a godly offspring.

The world is full of husbands and wives who produce offspring, children. But the difference is, with God's people, he made you both one that you might have a godly offspring. Not just offspring.

Only Tom, Dick, and Harry can have offspring. But the difference with God's people is that you must have a godly offspring. And all of you need to ask yourselves, are your children a godly offspring? And if not, why not? If even one of your children is not a committed disciple of Christ, committed to Christ, whom does the Lord blame here? The Lord blames the parents, not the children.

We tend to blame children. I've heard numerous Christian parents say that. Oh, Brother Zach, what to do? They were influenced by other friends.

And I'll tell you why they were influenced by other friends to go the worldly way. Because I tell them, you as parents did not bring them up properly when they were young in your house. You were casual.

And now that they're grown up, you did not do your job in the 10, 15 years that they were with you as little children. You ignored, you didn't take your calling seriously to make those children disciples of Jesus by the time they were 15 or 16. And now they're grown up and gone somewhere and gone astray and you blame their friends.

It's nothing to do with their friends. It's got to do with their parents who did not teach them God's ways when they were young. And the sad thing is so many Christian parents, they don't shed any tears over that.

If your children are going astray, I want to ask you, when was the last time you wept, wept and prayed before God for them? I find so many parents are so casual about it. Yeah, they'll be okay. They won't be okay.

And their blood will be on your hands in the day of judgment. It's a very serious thing because it says, I was seeking a godly offspring. I was expecting godly children.

That's what he says in verse 15. Take heed, verse 15, the last part, then to your spirit. Let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.

In other words, the way the parents relate to each other is one of the reasons why the children go astray. They see the way father and mother are dealing with each other. And the children go astray because they don't see a godliness in the relationship of father and mother.

So it's very important for parents to take that seriously. See, when I was listening to these children singing, I'd rather have Jesus than anything in this world. I'd rather be his.

It's so wonderful to hear them say it. They're what, 14, 15, 16. I hope they'll say that when they're 25 and 30.

I'd rather have Jesus than anything. Train up a child in the way he should go. The promise of God is when he's old, he will not depart from it.

Turn with me to Proverbs. I mention this because we are having a children's Sunday today, so it's important to see our responsibility towards these children. And I want to tell you this, dear brothers and sisters, the responsibility is not the responsibility of the church to teach your children God's ways.

It is not the responsibility of this church or its elders to teach children God's ways. It is your responsibility as parents. Turn with me to Proverbs in chapter 22.

Proverbs 22 in verse 6. There is a promise here. It's a wonderful promise. But like every other promise in the Bible, there is a condition.

The promise is, when your children grow up, the last part of verse 6, when your children grow older, that means they're left home, they're 20 years old, 22 years old, 25 years old, 30 years old, they will not depart from God's way. What a wonderful promise. If God can give me that assurance that when my children are 25, 30, 40, 50, they will not depart from God's way.

It's a promise. It's God's promise. It'll never break.

But every promise has got a condition. It's not automatic. The condition is, in the first part, train up a child in the way that he should go, in God's way.

So if I do that part when he's a child, God's promise is that when he grows older, I'll take care of that. It's almost like two parts of a child's life, you know. The first part is when he's at home.

And God says, you take care of that, and I'll take care of him once he leaves your home. What a wonderful comfort that is to us. All of us, one day, our children will leave our home and go away.

And then we see them rarely. We don't know what all influences they have. I mean, they don't have to leave home.

Just the fact that they go to school, they're away from home for so many hours, or they go to a college, or they go to work, and there they are exposed to so many other influences. What a comfort it is to know that they will not depart from God's way. It's a promise.

And I can take hold of that promise. I took it very seriously when my children were small. I said, I don't know what will happen when they grow up.

But God's promise is, you do your part. Train up a child in the way he should go. In other words, God is my example.

And God not only teaches us, He corrects us. He disciplines us. Whenever, I don't believe it's God's perfect will that I should be, I should have physical problems and sicknesses.

He's a loving Father. So personally, I've always asked the Lord, anytime I have any sickness, I say, Lord, what's the reason? Why have you allowed it? I mean, what's the reason? Are you trying to teach me something? Is it a little discipline? You gave me a little spanking for something I did. I've always sought the Lord.

And the Lord showed me some little thing that I need to correct. I say, okay, I'll correct it. Of course, a lot of sicknesses are because we live in a world which is full of sickness and evil.

So I'm not saying that everything is due to something wrong in our life, but sometimes it is. I should not assume that, oh, I got sick because it's sort of in the air now and there's a sort of problem around here. That's why I got it.

I've taken every little thing that happens in my life that goes wrong, whatever it is, even if it's a financial failure. I say, Lord, is there something I have to learn? Something I have to learn? Is this a little discipline you're trying to give me? If you lose your job, say, Lord, is there something? Is it God's will that I should be struggling, sort of struggling to sort of exist on this earth to feed myself? God is a loving father. And he's more loving than any earthly father.

I believe that. And I proved that for all these 66 years that I've known him as my father. And he's more loving than any earthly father.

And if an earthly father would not disregard me, I don't believe my heavenly father will disregard me. There's any time, even if I've gone astray from him, I can come back to him. He will welcome me and correct me.

But I must be willing to listen. Lord, is there something wrong that I need to set right? And what a wonderful thing it is if we can train these children who today stand up and say, I'd rather have Jesus than anything. That 20 years from now, they'll say the same thing.

I'd rather have Jesus than anything. And that depends on the parents, how you are going to take care of these children. And some of them who are not standing here who are still smaller than them who are in your home.

The earlier you start correcting them, disciplining them, the easier it'll be when they grow up. To always, to teach them to always treat older people with respect. I say that because it's disappearing in this country.

Young people in this country don't respect the older people. They don't even treat older, they don't even talk to them respectfully. I find there's more respect for older people in heathen countries than in a so-called Christian country.

I find, for example, in India where there's, most of the people are Hindus who worship idols. But a lot of those young people, children, treat their parents with such tremendous respect. The children touch the feet of their father.

Whenever they go away from home and they come back home, they touch the feet of their father. I'm not saying you should do that. In fact, I discourage it whenever anybody tries to do that.

Hindu, our converted Hindus try and keep that. But the respect they have for parents is really amazing. They will never talk to an older, even not only parents, but even older people disrespectfully.

It's always with a respectful attitude. But they'll never call an older person by the first name. They'll always use some preface like Uncle so-and-so or Auntie so-and-so.

There's a respect that they are taught in heathen cultures. But be careful in this country because that is not there generally in public. So we have to protect our children, to teach them to be respectful to older people.

You know, in the Old Testament, there was a law that you must even stand up if an older person comes. You shouldn't be sitting down. That's how we taught the Israelites to be respectful to older people.

It's part of God's ways. And if we are serious about bringing up our children in God's ways, then we will really follow these little, little things. Train up a child in the way he should go.

And when he is old, he will not depart from it. And not only that, when he's old, he will be a useful vessel in God's hands. That is our goal.

That's why the other thing that we need to emphasize with our children is to teach them God's word in our homes. Our children must become really familiar with God's word by the time they are 18 years old and leave the home. They must really be familiar with God's word.

That is my goal with my own children. They must all be born again before they leave the home. They must all be baptized and become children of God.

And they won't live perfect lives. I mean, perfection takes a long time. There'll be ups and downs in their life, but there'll be a steady progress towards perfection.

And even if they do go through a period of backsliding, they'll come back because of that solid foundation. And the other thing is, if you have children who have gone, left your home, it's important that you, you know, put a rope around them. What I mean is prayer.

Prayer is like a rope you put around the children so they can't escape. You, even though they are far away from you, that rope of prayer pulls them back whenever they're going in a wrong direction. They may be a thousand miles away from you and you don't know where they're going, where they're going astray, what they're doing and the temptations they are facing there.

But if you've got this rope of prayer around them with which you are pulling them, restraining them from going in wrong directions. It really is true, brothers. I'm not sort of telling you fancy stories.

It's a tremendous power. And if you pray for your children and if you commit them to the Lord and you want your children to live for God. If you want your children only to get a good education and make a lot of money on the earth.

Well, I want to say I have no message for you. Your children are doomed. They'll probably end up in hell.

And you will see that when you're in heaven. And grown on it for all eternity. To see your children in hell.

It's really going to happen. A lot of Christian parents are going to be in heaven for eternity. Groaning because they see their children burning in hell for all eternity.

You don't believe that's going to happen. I believe with all my heart it's going to happen. But parents who are irresponsible, didn't take up their responsibility, bring up or who were a very bad example to their children.

As the children grew up. Who were a bad example in the way they behaved towards each other as husband and wife. So it's a very big responsibility.

And the thing is, once they go beyond a certain age, there's nothing much you can do for them. You've got to start right from the time they are young. See, whenever I see it, sometimes I see a tree, which is all trees normally go up straight.

They grow up straight. That's the way God has intended it. Then now and then I see a tree that's crooked.

And it was crooked because maybe when it was a very small plant, it was growing that way for some reason. I think something pulled it down or there's some obstruction in the way. And when it was a small plant, that tree was bent like that.

And you see the whole tree is crooked. Now you can't straighten it. You can't straighten that crooked tree.

If you wanted to straighten it, you should have straightened it when it was a small plant. That's a parable for us. Whenever you see a crooked tree somewhere, think of your children that they should not grow up like that.

They should grow up upright, straight, pointing straight up to heaven. That's the way all our children should be. So please take this seriously because it's a very big responsibility.

God has committed to us. These children who are given to us, they are not ours. It's one of the first things we need to recognize.

You call them your children, but God says they are not yours. I give them to you as a responsibility to take care of. And I believe that many of us are so careful with our money.

How careful you are with the money in your bank account. How often you check your bank account to see that nobody has taken anything out of that account by cheating you. How careful we are with money.

And yet I tell you, children are a million times more important than money. And if you're careful with your money that you don't want anybody to cheat you, you should be much more careful with your children. That they should be protected from all evil.

Because the devil is there. God has allowed the devil to be there. There are many reasons.

I don't understand all the reasons why God has permitted the devil to be there. But one reason is so that we will cling closer to him. You know, when there's danger, we cling closer to the Lord.

And I believe the presence of Satan makes people turn to the Lord if they won't turn to the Lord any other way. And when Satan disturbs your children, that makes some parents turn to the Lord who will not turn to the Lord any other way. When your children have left your home and gone completely astray from the Lord, that makes you turn to the Lord.

Praise the Lord. You would not turn to the Lord otherwise. So God uses wayward children to turn parents to the Lord.

So it's amazing. But don't let that be the reason why you turn to the Lord. We turn to the Lord.

We love him. Not because we want some answer to prayer or we want... I don't love the Lord because I want him to bless my children. I love the Lord because he first loved me.

And even if God does nothing for me, I still love him because what he's done for me. That's how it should be. So my brothers, as parents, I want to encourage you.

Have a very close, intimate walk with the Lord in your personal life. Number one. And secondly, please live with deep respect for your partner.

Always treat your partner with respect. Husband to wife and wife to husband. And don't just lose your temper.

And even if you're so weak that you cannot control your temper, at least do one thing more. Apologize every single time you speak rudely or in anger to your husband or wife. Every single time.

If you get angry with your wife 10 times a day, ask her forgiveness 10 times a day. That's the way to do it. I tell you, you'll get victory over your anger pretty soon.

I've seen husbands and wives who go on year after year after year. They call themselves Christians. They should hang their head in shame for calling themselves Christians.

They should say, I'm no longer a Christian. I still get upset with my wife after so many years of calling myself a believer. I really believe such people who hang their head in shame and go and fall before God and say, Lord, have mercy on me.

What type of a Christian I am. I'm such a disgrace to your name. You know, the Bible says the devil is the accuser of the brethren.

It says in Revelation in chapter 12, the devil is called in verse 10, the middle of verse 10, the accuser of the brothers. He doesn't accuse believers, no, unbelievers. The devil does not accuse unbelievers.

It says in verse 9, he deceives unbelievers. He's the deceiver of the world, but the accuser of believers. He's got two functions.

The world he's deceiving, but believers he's accusing. And so please remember, he accuses believers day and night in verse 10 to God. Do you see this? The devil accusing believers.

I mean, if you could get a vision into the heavenlies, the devil saying, God, you said that fellow is your son. Look how he's behaving. Look how he's behaving towards his wife.

You said that girl is your daughter. Look at the way he's, look at that way that lady is behaving towards her husband. The devil's accusing day and night.

It says 24 hours he's waiting to find fault. He does it. He's the greatest fault finder in the universe.

Always looking for something to find fault in. And when he points out something in you, what can God do about it? When God has to say it's true. He claims to be my child, but the way he's behaving is an absolute disgrace.

I should hang my head in shame that I bring such dishonor to the Lord's name by the way I behave and conduct myself. It's very, very important, brothers and sisters. We pray that in this church, there'll be brothers and sisters who will bring honor to God and not give room to the devil who we, I want to be one who shuts the devil's mouth.

That when he comes into my life, he can find zero to accuse me before God. And if I slip up, in a moment, I set it right. So that the devil's mouth is shut again.

The moment you confess something, your sin is forgiven. The devil's mouth is shut because it says here in verse, the next verse, they overcame Satan by the blood of the lamb. How do they overcome Satan by the blood of the lamb? Okay, this person did something wrong and the devil's accusing him.

But immediately, without any delay, he confesses his sin to the Lord and say, Lord, it's my fault. I don't blame anybody else. I don't blame my husband.

I don't blame my wife. I don't blame that person or any other person. I take the blame for that action of mine, for those words of mine.

Forgive me and you're cleansed. The devil's mouth is shut. Determined to shut the devil's mouth.

Every time he accuses you, you can only do that by the blood of the lamb. And you can only do that if you take the blame. No sin of yours will be forgiven.

If you blame somebody else. If you blame your husband or your wife, your sin will not be forgiven. And the devil's mouth is wide open and he continues to accuse you.

So please see this is something really going on in the heavenlies all the time. The devil accusing, accusing, accusing, accusing. God, see the way he's bringing up his children.

His children are so rebellious and the father doesn't even do anything about it. The mother doesn't do anything about it. You see, oh, sweet little child.

It's not a sweet little child. It's a rebellious child. He needs to be disciplined.

He needs to be taught God's ways. That's why God gave that child to you. Take it seriously, your responsibility there.

So if we take these things seriously, I believe we can have wonderful families in this church. And we'll have a church that all together overcomes the devil. That's God's will.

Jesus said, Matthew 16, verse 18, I will build my church. And the gates of hell or the powers of darkness will not be able to overcome it. That's the mark of a church that Jesus built.

There are many churches in the world, but not all of them are built by Jesus. The mark of the church that Jesus builds is Matthew 16 and verse 18. I will build my church, the last part of that verse, and the powers of darkness will not be able to overpower it.

This is the only mark of a true church that Jesus is building. All the other churches are built by men, maybe good men with a lot of Bible knowledge and great Bible scholars. But if the devil overpowers the church, that's not the church Jesus is building.

And the church is made up of homes. And that's why each one of us has a responsibility that we take seriously our responsibility as parents towards our children to be examples, not just people who preach things to our children, which we don't practice ourselves. You want your children to be patient? You be patient with your husband and with your wife.

And you want your children to be humble? You be humble first and show humility by example and not by just preaching. Jesus always said, follow me. He didn't say, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me.

Many parents tell their children, listen to me, listen to me, listen to what I'm saying, my son. Listen, my daughter, listen to me. Jesus never said, listen to me.

You know what he said? Follow me. That's what every parent should say. Follow me, my son.

See how I behave with my wife. See how I behave with mommy. See how I behave with daddy.

Follow me. Follow my example. Can you say that? Well, if you've not been able to say that till now, let's start today.

So that you can grow up your children, you can tell your example. Follow my example. See how I conduct myself.

See how I react when something goes wrong in the house. So many things can go wrong. Something can be broken accidentally, okay? Children, see how I react when somebody makes a mistake.

See how I react when somebody breaks something accidentally. Do I get all upset over something? These things that have no value in eternity, I get so bothered by it. And things that have more value in eternity was my relationship with the Lord.

I'm not so bothered about that being broken. That's a tragedy of so many Christians. Some earthly loss or earthly thing being broken, they get so upset.

Their relationship with the Lord is broken. They don't get so upset. Their relationship with their marriage partner is broken.

They don't get so upset. That means they value these earthly things so much more than the heavenly things. No wonder they never become spiritual.

We have to determine in our life that, Lord, no earthly thing will ever be valuable to me. My spiritual relationship with my brothers and sisters and with my wife and husband, the way I bring up my children, those are a million times more important than any earthly thing. I said that to the Lord long ago.

I don't care what I lose. I don't care how much money I lose. I don't care even if I made mistakes and lost money or broke something accidentally or somebody else in my home broke something accidentally.

I'm not going to get upset because it has no value in eternity. We really have to wake up and ask ourselves, am I really seeing the value of things from an eternal standpoint? So let's remember that. I thought of that when I heard these children singing.

I'd rather have Jesus than anything. I want them to be singing that 20 years from now. That depends a lot on us parents.

Let's pray. Let's bow our heads. Heavenly Father, please help us that we shall not let you down the responsibility that you have given us and the precious children that you have committed to our charge.

We pray in Jesus name. Amen.