087. Chapter 82: Love for One's Neighbor
------------ CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO ------------ Love for One’s Neighbor
God is love, has love for humankind, and manifests this love in the natural realm to all men, as well as to His elect in the covenant of grace. God requires love in His law -- His law being comprehended in the one word love. The objects of love are God and one’s neighbor. For that purpose the law has been recorded upon two tables of stone. On the first is recorded how and in which way we are to manifest our love toward God, and on the second is recorded the manner how and in which way we are to manifest our love toward our neighbor. It is the latter we now wish to discuss.
Love is the congenial frame of heart of God’s children, wrought of God, whereby their heart is engaged with desires to have harmonious fellowship with their neighbor, and to seek their welfare as well as their own.
Love is a congenial frame of the heart. Among all virtues, love is the most eminent, pure, and delightful; it is a disposition of the heart. The acts of thinking, speaking, and any other activities are not love itself -- even though these actions may issue forth from love -- for such actions can also take place apart from love. Rather, the very disposition of the heart is loving and it has a propensity toward love. It is thoroughly permeated with love, and it finds delight in being thus disposed. There can be motions in the heart of aversion, anger, and pity, which, even if they were not sinful, engender some measure of grief. However, love is radiant, sweet, and joyous in nature, and the stronger this propensity and the more powerful its manifestation, the greater its sweetness will be. The subject or the seat of love is to be found in the heart of the children of God. After the fall, man in his natural state is “hateful, and hating” (Titus 3:3). He has the ability to love, for this is a human characteristic; however, he distorts it by focusing upon the wrong object and by using it in a faulty manner. Man intensely loves himself, and he only loves that from which he can derive pleasure for himself. He hates and has an aversion for whatever is not subservient to this or is against him. An unconverted person is not a true lover of his neighbor; however, regeneration changes the heart of God’s children and thereby they begin to love their neighbor in the right manner. Regeneration reforms man according to the image of God, and Christ is formed in them. Since God is love, someone who is a partaker of the divine nature consequently also has love -- that is, according to the measure in which he is a partaker of the divine nature. The congregation of Colosse had love for all the saints (Colossians 1:4), and the congregation of the Thessalonians was “taught of God to love one another” (1 Thessalonians 4:9). The heart is the essential seat of all virtues, and this is therefore also true for love. “Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart” (1 Timothy 1:5). Since the image of God resides in the heart, love likewise resides in the heart. It does not remain hidden there, however, for if the heart is aflame within, that flame will leap forth to the outside. The object of this love is one’s neighbor; that is, all who are of one blood and have come forth from one and the same Adam. We are to consider man as either presently having the image of God, or as man, or as a sinner in an unconverted state. Furthermore, we can distinguish between various relationships: parents, children, sisters and brothers, relatives, or strangers. They are all the objects of love. The exception here is when we note sinners as sinners; however, as human beings they continue to be the object of love in a general sense -- not only to do good to them, but to love them, and thus to let our benevolence issue forth from that. Since there is such variety regarding types of neighbors, and the relationships to them, love will be expressed differently to the one than to the other. The Essence of Love The very essence of love is that it is relational in nature. Man is a social being who desires to have fellowship and communion with his fellow man. In this respect we can view love as:
(1) The singular desire of having fellowship with a human being. A person would be more dead than alive if he were alone in the world or on an island -- all hope being cut off of ever seeing or hearing a human being.
(2) Affection. There can be matters in another person’s life which may or must rightfully prevent us from having familiar fellowship with him. Being hindered in doing so is grievous, however, and one would desire that this hindrance be removed -- be it that he would be converted, or that a given sin (being an impediment to spiritual communion and continually putting us in danger of being polluted) would not manifest itself so strongly in him. We shall, however, love him in spite of this, and the desire for fellowship remains. We shall make a wholehearted effort to do good to him in body and soul, and must rejoice when he prospers and grieve when it goes ill with him. It is thus that Paul loved Israel -- presently unbelieving and striving against the truth -- according to the flesh: “Brethren, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved” (Romans 10:1). Thus, we must even love our enemies -- those who are hostile and manifest enmity toward us (Matthew 5:44).
(3) Good will; that is, if we are fully one with our neighbor in the mutual enjoyment of delight, pleasure, and happiness. God is the primary and preeminent object of love. Love toward all those in whom there is some resemblance of God flows forth out of this love for God. The greater this resemblance, the greater this love will be. In addition to this there is God’s command to love, which He gives us in order that we find our delight in this. Even though the angels resemble God to a higher degree than men of this earth do, they nevertheless do not qualify as our neighbors -- and are thus not to be loved as such. Therefore, the love of good will flows both from the love to God and from a love for compliance with the commands of God. The one who loves will thus unite himself with this object with pleasure and delight: “Every one that loveth Him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of Him” (1 John 5:1). This love not only manifests itself in esteem for the regenerate, but it also strives to be united with them. The nature of love is such that it establishes a union. Therefore the apostle calls love, “the bond of perfectness” (Colossians 3:14), and in Colossians 2:2 he says, “That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love.” It is thus written concerning the first church, “And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul” (Acts 4:32). Christ prays for this: “That they all may be one; as Thou, Father, art in Me, and I in Thee, that they also may be one in Us” (John 17:21). This love of good will only exists between believers, since they believe of each other that God loves them, and that they love God. This love is called brotherly love: “Let brotherly love continue” (Hebrews 13:1). This is not to suggest that the godly only manifest love to the godly, but the reasons for exercising the love of good will are only to be found in them. When the basis for such love is not to be found in others, the godly can also not love them in this manner. Nevertheless, they love the unregenerate with the love of affection, seeking their welfare, doing to them all that love requires toward such an object, manifesting nevertheless in all their dealings the incompatibility and difference between them and the godly. The apostle does not want us to limit ourselves to love for the godly only, but our love must also extend to others. “... to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity” [Note: The Statenvertaling reads: “... liefde jegens allen,” that is, “charity toward all.”] (2 Peter 1:7). Wherever there is a loving heart, it will manifest itself toward every object in which something loveable is to be found, or toward those concerning whom God has obligated them in some measure. The Origin of Love
God is the original cause of this love. This divine spark is not kindled spontaneously in us, but is kindled by God in the heart. He is therefore called the God of love (2 Corinthians 13:11). The Holy Spirit authors love: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love” (Galatians 5:22). The Thessalonians were “taught of God to love one another” (1 Thessalonians 4:9). The Holy Spirit, regenerating the godly according to the image of God and making them to be partakers of the divine nature, creates in them a new nature which enables them to love. As soon as they, as regenerate, lift up their enlightened eyes, they -- in the light of God’s countenance -- behold that He is altogether lovely. Their new loving nature will immediately exercise love toward the adorable God; they love Him, because He first loved them (1 John 4:19). The godly are not only cognizant of the Spirit within them, but also in others. They discern who they are who in some measure resemble God and love Him -- and thus also who is or is not loved by God. Therefore their loving heart is attracted to such persons and expresses love toward them. The godly delight in such persons and desire to be intimately united with them. Their heart delights and rejoices in mutual fellowship. Furthermore, their new loving nature is attracted to all men whom they encounter, as they have been created in like manner as they were. It grieves the godly that such men are upon the way of destruction and in love they seek to guide them on the right way. They are sensitive to their bodily misery and will help them. They rejoice when all goes well with them, and they are friendly and kind toward everyone. The Effects or Manifestation of Love The effects or manifestations of love are manifold and vary according to the nature of the object and our relationship to it. Together they constitute the duties which the second table of the law imposes upon us. “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law” (Romans 13:8-10).
Concerning the manifestation of love we must note the following:
(1) The motive and the fountain from which it issues forth. This is the heart, as we have delineated before, and this love is therefore upright, heartfelt, and fervent. “See that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently” (1 Peter 1:22).
(2) The means whereby this love is executed: in words, with the countenance, and in deeds. Love divorced from 5the heart is hypocrisy, and the heart without love is void of fruit. The countenance must be friendly: “Finally ... be courteous” [Note: The Statenvertaling reads: “Zijt ... vriendelijk,” that is, “Be friendly.”] (1 Peter 3:8). Our words are not to be abrasive, but kind, wise, and pleasant: “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6). Our deeds must be faithful and resolute: “Let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18).
(3) The measure or extent to which we are to love is the measure or extent to which man loves himself. As heartily, truthfully, readily, and faithfully as a man must rightfully love himself, so he must also love his neighbor. “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (James 2:8).
(4) The specific deeds whereby this love is executed either pertain to the soul or the body. As far as the soul is concerned, we are to pray for each other (Romans 10:1), instruct each other in the way of salvation (Acts 18:26), rebuke and exhort each other (Hebrews 3:13), warn against, not suffer sin in each other (Leviticus 19:17), and comfort each other (1 Thessalonians 5:14). As far as the body is concerned, we are to feed the hungry, give drink to those who are athirst, clothe the naked, visit the sick, give lodging to the stranger, help someone in whatever perplexity he may be, and support him by counsel and in deed (Matthew 25:35-36). That is the labor of love referred to in (1 Thessalonians 1:3). This Love Inherent in Adam’s Nature The human nature of Adam was created with love for the neighbor; and after the fall God has by renewal commanded His people to love their neighbor. He did so in the law declared from Mount Sinai, its second table being: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:39). This has also been enjoined by the prophets and the apostles (Leviticus 19:18
Proofs of its Absence Not only can everyone be convinced from the foregoing as to what his duty is, but he can discern as in a mirror how far he falls short in love, or how closely he resembles this standard. We have shown before that all love toward our neighbor has its origin in love to God in Christ Jesus, and therefore only those who are born of God, who by faith are united to God in Christ and love God as their reconciled Father, will rightly love their neighbor. Furthermore, such will have as their primary and foremost object of love those who are born of God, are partakers of the divine nature, are loved of God, and who love God. We have shown that by reason of this disposition they extend their love to all who are of the same human origin -- even though they do not have the image of God and consequently cannot be loved with the love of good will and with union of heart. They will nevertheless love them with the love of affection, being desirous to do good to them and to protect them against harm, while maintaining a distance due to the difference of their natures.
Examine yourself in light of this, and observe whether you will pass the test. It is certain that the following do not have love:
(1) They who do not love God. Such is the condition of all the unconverted, whose nature has been exposed in chapter 14. If we do not love God, it is impossible to love those who bear resemblance to God, as they have something of God within them. “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep His commandments” (1 John 5:2). The reverse argument is that he who does not love God also does not love His children.
(2) They who love the godly for the wrong reasons and with a wrong perspective. It does indeed occur that the unconverted love the godly, but this is not prompted by the fact that the godly are loved by God, love God and Jesus, and bear the image of God. Rather, the unconverted love them either because they were raised together, have compatible natural temperaments, are to some extent desirable and pleasant due to natural virtues, yield them advantage and temporal benefits, are faithful and upright in their services and dealings, by loving them receive love, honor, and esteem. All of this is agreeable with the state of nature. If, however, the godly let their light shine and thereby rebuke and put the unconverted to shame, and if by virtue of the image of God, the godly are more excellent than they are, the contrast between their natures will readily manifest itself. This in turn will engender inner resistance, secret aversion, the avoidance of their company, and hatred and opposition. Such ought thereby to be convinced that they in reality do not love the godly.
(3) They who make no distinction between those who are godly, civil, or ungodly, having no love for either the one or the other (yes, many do not even have love), live by themselves and for themselves; seek their own honor, advantage, and delight; do not care about others; have a heart that is strange toward everyone, and thus are without natural love. They only have love for themselves and for those who, in subservience to their self-love, are of advantage to themselves.
(4) They who love the world -- that is, the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life -- and all who are of one mind with them. In their eyes the godly are a despised lot. Instead, they honor those who serve the world, are their drinking companions, and entertain themselves with vanity, foolishness, vain conversation, gambling, carousing, fornication, dancing, boasting, etc. Such are the people to whom they join themselves and whose company they enjoy. Since such love the world, it is a certainty that they do not love the godly, but rather hate them. “If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15).
(5) They who do not only hate the godly in their heart, but inflict upon them all that issues forth from hatred. They despise them, speak about them with contempt, sneer at them, avoid their company, slander them, seek to trap them, oppress and persecute them, and they delight themselves if the godly are in adversity or meet with an accident -- finding delight in this as if they had conquered an enemy.
All such, if they give but attention to these matters and examine themselves in this light -- that is, those having natural virtue, as well as worldly ones and hypocrites -- will be convinced hereby that they have no love for the godly, and thus have no true love for others.
Consequences of Being Void of True Love
Many will not be concerned about this and will say, “It is true. I neither love them, desire to love them, nor wish to be loved by them. What is that to you? Who is affected by it?” My answer is that it indeed affects you.
(1) You are not born of God: “He that loveth not knoweth not God” (1 John 4:8). If you say, “I do indeed love God,” then John says that you are lying: “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen” (1 John 4:20). And, if you do not love God, you are accursed.
(2) You are not a Christian, have no part in His suffering, and are without Christ. Thus there are no promises for you -- you are without God and without hope (Ephesians 2:12). If you reply, “I am truly a Christian, for I am baptized, I attend the Lord’s Supper, and I live as a Christian,” then I reply in turn, “You are lying and you are deceiving yourself, for if you were a Christian, you would love those whom Christ loves and those who love Christ.” For this is an unmistakable characteristic of the Christian: “By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35). If you are without love, you are not a disciple.
(3) All your deeds, however wonderful they may appear to be, are of no value, for they are void of love. If you loved God, you would also love His children. Then you would have the Spirit, possess spiritual life, have a heavenly nature, and everything about you would be of an entirely different nature. Since you are void of love, however, everything is dead and your works are but dead works which cannot please God. “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. ... I am nothing ... it profiteth me nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). Observe that everything is contingent upon love, and that you who are without love are destitute of everything. All that you do is sin, aggravates your judgment, and is a powerful confirmation that you will eternally go lost if you were to die in that condition. Therefore be convinced of your wretched condition -- both present and future -- and let that be a means to engender concern, and to cause you to flee to the Lord Jesus for forgiveness. The Deficient Love of the Godly and Its Causes To observe that natural men are without love is not quite as grievous as having to make the most disturbing observation that even the godly are so deficient in love in light of what the apostle says concerning love in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.
Furthermore, if one considers the conduct of many of the truly regenerate, how much they fall short of this standard! It is true: They love the godly because God loves them and because they love God in Christ. Their heart is knit to them in that respect -- with the exclusion of all other men. They esteem them, their heart goes out toward them, they rejoice when they perceive the godly in their essential nature; but when it comes to their deeds, it is manifest how weak their love is. They keep to themselves and it is as if all others were strangers to them, or they exercise fellowship with only one or with but a few, and ignore others. If one of the godly has a fault, they will immediately render his godliness suspect. If he is perceived as a challenge to us and he does not act according to our wishes, then displeasure, wrath, strife, and backbiting surface, and one gives him the cold shoulder -- acting as if their spiritual life did not proceed from one and the same Spirit. And in regard to the unconverted, where is the heartfelt affection for them? Where is the joy about their prosperity, the grief over their mishaps, and the exercise concerning their spiritual and physical welfare?
It ought indeed to be investigated why it is that there is so little love among the godly, so that everyone would be motivated to remove the causes of his lovelessness which he perceives within himself, and thus enhance his progress in the exercise of love. Lovelessness is caused by:
(1) A lack of communion with God. God is love, and having communion with God will cause us to grow warm in love. We shall then manifest more of the nature of God, and having more love within, this love will manifest itself that much more strongly externally. If your heart accuses you of lovelessness, then immediately turn to the cause, and consider that it is the result of having wandered so far away from God -- for love must proceed from that fountain.
(2) Having but little assurance concerning our state, and a failure to take note of and acknowledge the state of grace. We are then weak in faith, yield to deadness and listlessness, and do not live tenderly. Instead, sin gains the upper hand, and we do not dare to place ourselves among God’s children. Therefore, even though we esteem others as gracious souls, we neither have courage to be in their company, mutually rejoice with them, nor find delight in their fellowship.
(3) Having succumbed very much to a slumber brought on by the world and its lusts. Since their love manifests itself strongly in that direction, there is consequently a lesser degree of love for the godly and others. And the little love that is there will readily be subdued if one or the other person is hindered in attaining his earthly desires.
(4) The knowledge that most professors of the truth are unconverted, and a being disillusioned by some whom they thought to have been converted, who showed subsequently that such was not the case. They act as if it were a sin to love someone as a godly person who but appeared to be so and in reality was not -- as if we should love none other than those who are godly. The truth is that it is a much greater virtue to love such with a brotherly love as long as there is the least probability that such is warranted, and to have a strong love of affection when that probability has disappeared.
(5) The godly going too much in hiding and not letting their light shine forth. Thus, people either do not know them, or they observe but little of the grace of which they have a greater measure within. There is but little manifestation of mutual love, and thus the love and grace of the one believer does not ignite the other.
(6) The godly sinning publicly, but not manifesting their sorrow which they have in secret. If they would only show their sorrow, love would increase in strength rather than be impeded.
(7) An excessive manifestation of self-love, there being a desire to be loved in return, or an insistence that others love us first; instead, we must take the initiative and love without being loved in return.
Benefits Emanating from the Exercise of Love
It ought to grieve you in the innermost recesses of your soul that you have so little love -- of which you manifest even less. It displeases God, deprives you and the congregation of a blessing, causes the godly and godliness to be slandered, obstructs the conversion of many, and offends those beginners in grace whose heart is filled with love. Furthermore, it is the cause of the decline of the church.
Therefore, strive that your love would increase and become more fervent, and allow my exhortation to revive you in this respect.
First, all your relationships strongly obligate you to exercise brotherly love; and believers, when reflecting upon that relationship, are stirred up to love fervently. To that end consider:
(1) God is your Father and the Father of all believers; He loves you and He loves them. Should this then not stir us up to love one another (1 John 4:11)?
(2) The Lord Jesus, who is not ashamed to call you and them brothers, loves both you and them. Therefore, “walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us” (Ephesians 5:2). Together you are the temples of one and the same Spirit who dwells in all of you, by whom all of you live, and who works love (Galatians 5:22). Therefore we pray “for the love of the Spirit” (Romans 15:30), that you do not obstruct His motions toward love; rather, yield to them and you will abound in love.
(3) Are you not partakers of the same sacraments? “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body ... and have been all made to drink into one Spirit” (1 Corinthians 12:13); “For we being many are one bread, and one body” (1 Corinthians 10:17); “These are ... feasts of charity” (Jude 1:12). Therefore, should not this intimate relationship stir you up to love? Since then we are brothers, are together God’s children, out of love have been delivered by the Lord Jesus, are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, and are united by the sacraments, let us therefore love one another fervently with brotherly love.
Secondly, God takes a special delight in the mutual love of His children for each other. This is a delight for natural parents; thus, our heavenly Father is also pleased with the mutual love of His children. Jesus rejoices in it and the angels delight in it. The Father and Christ make their abode with such and bless them: “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! ... for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore” (Psalms 133:1
Thirdly, the exercise of brotherly love is most beneficial.
(1) It adds much luster to the church; all who are without will recognize her by this. “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35). It begets much esteem and respect for the congregation. When the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul, then “durst no man join himself to them: but the people magnified them” (Acts 5:13).
(2) As one candle lights the other, likewise the love of one will ignite love in the other, and everyone will thus be enlivened. As it is a delight to see a large church filled with shining lights, it is far more delightful to observe a congregation which is filled with those who love. Yes, it would be a means whereby many would be drawn to the church, the unconverted would be converted, beginners in the faith would readily grow, and backsliders would be restored.
(3) The one who loves experiences a special joy. It is a greater delight to love than to be loved. Joy is his strength; he avoids many snares, is delivered from much strife which otherwise would easily weaken his faith, and proceeds with courage.
(4) Love to the brethren assures the one who loves that he is in a state of grace, for his love for a given person proceeds from something of God being in him; since God loves him, he loves God even more -- and he who loves God is known of God (1 Corinthians 8:3).
Once more, since this love is expressed toward those who are of like persuasion, love seeks union due to this commonality. Since such a person’s love issues forth to one who is like himself, and he seeks union with those who love God and are loved by God, he himself is in that state, for otherwise he would not seek fellowship on such a foundation. He is thus at the same time assured that he loves God -- something about which he is frequently concerned. “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren” (1 John 3:14).
Fourthly, mutual love serves the purpose of mutual refreshment. Animals of the same species frequently walk together and citizens of the same nation stay together when they are in a strange country. Worldly people refresh themselves by mutual love; should the godly then not do likewise? In the world they will find neither help nor comfort, for it hates them. They also do not seek it there, for they hate it. What now? Will they each live alone in the world? No, it is due to the goodness of God that they are able to have a more heartfelt love, and a more intimate and steadfast friendship with each other, than that which is to be found in the world. This mutual love refreshes them so much that they can readily do without all other love. This love yields to them mutual help, support, comfort, encouragement, compassion, and whatever else they could expect from people.
Guidelines for the Proper Exercise of Love
It almost seems to me that I have done needless work in stirring you up by way of various arguments to love -- as if light needed a recommendation, or that fire is rendered more pleasant by way of rational argument. The mere mention of love is enough to stir you up. Begin to undertake this task and it will become all the more sweet to you.
(1) Let the initiative to love come from you and do not wait for another person to make the first move. Even if you are the very least among the godly, the love of children is sweet and even kindles the love of adults.
(2) Do not seek to receive love in return; however, if you receive it, do not let it end in yourself. Rather, thank the Lord for the refreshment and the quickening you enjoy as a result of this. If you do not receive love in return, let it neither trouble nor hinder you, for you are not worthy of being loved. Let it be sufficient to you that you are permitted and able to love.
(3) Let there be high esteem for the grace which is or appears to be in another person. Be not suspicious, but be quick to accept it as being genuine. Grace can be very feeble in someone, and it will not harm you to love someone as a godly person who is unconverted. Is it not your desire and obligation to love others?
(4) The offenses and falls of others must not impede you in your love, for even great grace can coexist with great corruption -- how much more this is true when grace is feeble. You do not know how much strife another has concerning these faults, how much he grieves over them in secret, and with how many tears and prayers he seeks forgiveness.
(5) Show much love in your countenance, words, and entire conduct -- even if the heart is somewhat lukewarm. It is not hypocritical when we externally manifest and conduct ourselves as we ought to be while striving to involve our heart in this as well, even though we cannot do as we desire. While thus engaged, our heart will become more and more involved. However, to wish to create an appearance, while being differently disposed in the heart, is hypocrisy. Showing love will cause the heart to increase in love.
(6) Permit that light and grace which is in you, be it ever so feeble, to shine forth. Manifest it, and conduct yourself as such, doing so not for your sake by seeking honor, but because God commands you to do so, and in order that others might have the opportunity to exercise the virtue of love.
(7) Be much in prayer to the Lord, for love proceeds from Him. Of yourself and in your own strength, you will neither attain to nor increase this love. If you are thus engaged, the Lord will grant you more grace and cause you to grow, until He will take you into the perfect love of eternal glory.