Sermon Illustrations on Father S Day — page 2

A Father Behind Bars

Dustin Shipley’s life got off to a rough start, to say the least. His dad walked out on him, his pregnant mother and his four brothers when he was a toddler. When he was six, one brother died in a car crash. When he was 13, his oldest brother died from AIDS. Watching his mother numb her pain with alcohol, Dustin decided he wanted that escape, too.

At 17, Dustin dropped out of high school. He joined the Job Corps, but was kicked out for drugs. Two years later, he fathered a son. At 22, he had another. He vowed to be a good father to his sons, but alcohol fueled irresponsibility in other areas. Within six years, Dustin earned three tickets for driving while intoxicated. The fourth one landed him in jail.

During his first night behind bars, Dustin’s thoughts turned to his two young sons, then ages nine and seven. “There’s nothing you will ever be able to do for your children from behind these walls,” he berated himself. Wracked with shame, Dustin didn’t contact his boys for weeks.

Then Dustin applied to the InnerChange Freedom Initiative (IFI) — an intensive pre-release program launched by Prison Fellowship with a curriculum based on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. “That was where the Scriptures really came alive for me,” says Dustin. “Every day the Lord used a situation or somebody to work on my hardened heart.”

Once again, his thoughts turned to his sons. This time, he heard God speak to him, “What you are learning, you can be teaching Drake and Dalton.” Dustin bought Bibles for his sons and created age-appropriate Bible studies that they worked on together over the phone and through the mail.

A while later Dustin again heard God’s voice, this time pointing out that the prison was filled with fathers stumbling under the same load of guilt and shame that Dustin had carried. With the help and support of IFI, Fathers for Christ Children’s Ministry was born.

Dustin, now 33, is out of prison. But he is going back behind bars — to reach out to inmates with his Fathers for Christ Children’s Ministry and to teach them how to rely on Jesus Christ. As one inmate wrote: “Dustin has brought me hope... I also find it very encouraging and refreshing to speak and learn from a man who can relate to what I am presently going through in my spiritual walk.”

Watch Out For Myths About Fatherhood

The role of the father is increasingly problematic in the context of modern American culture. Fatherhood has been marginalized and the rule and authority of fathers have been depreciated, ridiculed, and continuously redefined. From the BERENSTAIN BEARS to THE SIMPSONS, fathers are all too often the object of ridicule or the subject of the laugh line.

Of course, some fathers bring this marginalization upon themselves as they either neglect or forfeit their own fatherly responsibilities. In many sectors of our society, fathers are most noted by their absence. Indeed, millions of American children are growing up without any significant father figure, much less their biological father.

The marginalization of fatherhood can be traced to many developments, but one prime source of this marginalization is the intellectual class and its radical commitment to ideological feminism. Fatherhood is now an ideological category that is inescapably linked to everything from patriarchy (considered to be the original sin) to popular culture (where the intellectual elites exert a very significant, if indirect influence).

Fatherhood has been marginalized in the society at large, and even the biological contribution of a father can now be replaced by a mere “donor” from a sperm bank or a fertility clinic.

Given the marginalization of fatherhood and the confusion about the role of fathers, Father’s Day becomes more and more awkward. Nevertheless it still comes on the calendar and journalists, intellectuals, and cultural observers feel the need to say something about fatherhood in June.

W. Bradford Wilcox, professor of sociology at the University of Virginia, warns that much of what is said about fatherhood in connection with Father’s Day is nothing less than mythological -- and many of these myths are downright dangerous.

Writing in NATIONAL REVIEW magazine, Wilcox identifies five myths about fatherhood that are likely to rear their heads in connection with Father’s Day. Anticipating a flow of news reports around Father’s Day, Wilcox warns: “Some will do a good job of capturing the changes and continuities associated with fatherhood in contemporary America. But other reporters and writers will generalize from their own unrepresentative networks of friends and family members, try to baptize the latest family trend, or assume that our society is heading ceaselessly in a progressive direction.” In other words, “Be on the lookout.”

Beyond this general warning, Wilcox offers some specific myths that are all too likely to appear. First, he warns about the “Mr. Mom surge” that has recently appeared in the media. While the current economic dislocation has had a disproportionate effect upon men, and thus upon fathers, stay-at-home dads “make up a minuscule share of American fathers.” According to the most recent U.S. Census data, stay-at-home dads represent less than 1% of the 22.5 million families in America. Stay-at-home moms, on the other hand, represent 24% of all families.

Brad Wilcox reminds us that most American families still know dad as the primary breadwinner. Indeed, the father is the primary earner in almost 3/4 of American families. Wilcox is right in suggesting that the media focus on the “exotic breed” of the stay-at-home dad obscures the fact that providership is essential to the role of most fathers in most families. This should be honored and respected, not lost in a fog of media attention that distracts from the fundamental reality.

The second myth Wilcox dispels is the claim that most women want a 50-50 distribution between work and family life for fathers. He concedes this might be true for “the average journalist or academic” but not for the average American mom. While moms do want dads to be more involved with the hands-on tasks of parenting and with housework, “most women who are married with children are happy to have their husbands take the lead when it comes to providing and do not wish to work full-time.”

Third, Wilcox cites ample research to dispel the myth that cohabitation is as good as marriage. Today, a significant minority of American children will spend some time with cohabiting parents. As Wilcox concedes, this leads many intellectuals to attempt to minimize the differences between married and cohabiting fathers. But, cohabiting fathers are much less likely to stay around and stay significant in the lives of their children. Marriage and fatherhood turn out to be “a package deal” for most men.

Fourth, Wilcox goes after the claim that divorce has not been harmful to children. Research indicates that girls whose parents divorce are far more likely to drop out of high school, to become pregnant as teenagers, and to suffer depression. “Girls whose parents divorce are also much more likely to divorce later in life.”

We should add that boys, often neglected in so many of these studies, experience the loss of father and suffer this loss, often in silence. The pathology often evident in the lives of young males can often be traced directly to this loss.

Last, Wilcox dispels the myth that “dads are dispensable.” The phenomenon of single mothers by choice receives a great deal of positive press. Nevertheless, as Wilcox asserts: “this myth fails to take into account the now-vast social scientific literature ... showing that children typically do better in an intact, married family with their fathers than they do in families headed by single mothers.”

Brad Wilcox ends his essay with a call for more journalists “to confront hard truths about the roles that fathers and marriage play in advancing the welfare of our nation’s most vulnerable citizens, our children.”

Christians have a special stake in this argument, for we believe that fatherhood is not just a social construction but a matter of biblical importance. Though informed by sociological analysis and encouraged by academics like Bradford Wilcox, our confidence in the role of fathers is based in the fact that fatherhood is a role that is honored, dignified, and defined in Holy Scripture. The Christian father is answerable to a far higher calling, but the data surveyed in Brad Wilcox’s essay serve as a reminder that fatherhood is a gift to all creation and that the evidence of the Creator’s design for fatherhood defies all the ideological efforts of so many to subvert fathers and fatherhood.

Thanks goes to Brad Wilcox for dispelling these myths. As Father’s Day now approaches, let us all tell the truth about fatherhood and honor God as we honor faithful fathers.

How Dads Change With Fatherhood

Luke 11:11

In the 1987 flick starring Tom Selleck, Three Men and a Baby, a trio of bachelors share a New York apartment and they take turns bringing home one-night stands. All seems to be going according to this hedonistic plan until one of their one-night stands leaves a baby at their doorstep.

One of them is the father, but he’s out of town. Hilarity ensues as his two roommates rearrange their lives to care for little baby Mary. After bumbling their way through bottles and diapers and bedtime and babysitting, something surprising happens: these clueless cads find themselves actually acting like dads. The bond they form with this little girl brings mom and dad together in the end for something that looks more like a family than just a casual fling.

Now, I’m not recommending this movie or this lifestyle, but I do think that it illustrates the power of parenthood — especially the power of parenthood to transform both the attitudes and the priorities of men.

Fathers are more than just sperm donors. They have a connection with their children beyond contributing DNA. In fact, that whole myth is losing credibility in the face of scientific and medical evidence. For instance, we know now that fathers bond physically and emotionally with their children in a way that complements a mother’s bond. That’s why skin-to-skin contact with dad is now a common practice in delivery rooms. And the connections don’t end there.

Recent discoveries suggest that dedicated fathers, like dedicated mothers, undergo dramatic hormonal and neurological shifts upon the arrival of a baby. Some experts now even think that those shifts and the father-child bond that creates them begin even before birth.

Writing in The Atlantic [June 3, 2021], Ariel Ramchandani describes a bizarre condition that sometimes afflicts expectant fathers. What’s known as Couvade syndrome is a poorly understood set of symptoms in which a man experiences physical changes that mirror those of his pregnant partner. Things like weight gain, vomiting, aches and pains - even cravings. Understandably, dads who go through such things are often embarrassed to talk about it. It sounds like one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s worst movies, Junior.

Until recently, the go-to explanation was that Couvade syndrome is psychosomatic. In other words, “It’s all in your head.” But Ramchandani marshals evidence that something physical could be at work when men are experiencing so-called pregnancy symptoms. The key is probably hormones triggered by living with a pregnant partner, and caring for a child. “Becoming a dad is associated with declines in men’s level of testosterone,” she writes, “and those declines are linked with greater paternal investment. Hormonal changes could explain fathers’ weight gain as well as their pre- and postnatal depression.”

According to one psychology professor at the University of Southern California, Couvade Syndrome is still a mystery, but less dramatic. Hormonal shifts among fathers are well documented and biologically important. “We celebrate a vision of men as high-testosterone, aggressive and manly,” said this professor, “and that’s inconsistent with the parenting role.” In this view men, who feel pregnant may simply be experiencing an extreme form of the natural shifts in body chemistry that prepares them to become good dads.

Unlike mothers, however, fathers don’t undergo these shifts automatically. It comes after investment and time. Research at the University of Michigan points to a “feedback loop” in which fathers become better suited hormonally to nurture the more time they actually spend nurturing. According to one University of Notre Dame anthropologist quoted in The Atlantic, the degree to which fathers physically adapt to their new role can even depend on cultural norms of fatherhood.

Now given all this, it’s not surprising that Tom Selleck and company slipped into their paternal roles so easily. Men who behave like dads, science seems to suggest, become better dads. But this research also understates an enormous difference between mothers and fathers in that they each contribute to child-rearing in unique, distinct and important ways. Ironically, the fact that some men experience symptoms reminiscent of motherhood could be proof that mothers aren’t the only thing that children need.

Male bodies respond to the call to nurture in their own way. This supports the claim that Dr. Ryan T. Anderson often makes, that there’s really no such thing as parenting; there’s only mothering and fathering. The fact is that we have a day set aside to recognize Father’s Day, and even a few movies that describe it, even bad ones. Hence that on some level, we knew this all along.

________

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[The original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #31475]

Father's Day: The Character Challenge

Galatians 3:28

What makes a good father? In one word, I believe it is character.

Nothing has contributed more to the destructive trends of social poverty, perpetual anxiety, sexual identity, personal insecurity, rage, rebellion, anger and even insanity than failed leadership in the home because of an absent or aloof father.

Earlier this year, I read the book, “Becoming a Leader of Character” by Gen. James Anderson and his son Dave. Their thesis was this: “Most leadership failures are character failures.” This is certainly true in life, but it is especially true in the home and family.

Dwight L. Moody defined character as “what you are in the dark.”

This year we saw national headlines unmask the shame of some of the highest profile celebrities, personalities and success stories. Marriages, families, careers and brands were destroyed once impulsive and indulgent acts were exposed. In the aftermath of these stories, I felt it important to gather a group of men at my church in order to address the topic, The Character Challenge. We examined four essential aspects of character:

1. Responsibility

Each of us has to take responsibility for who we are. We cannot pass this off or blame it on others. As grown men, we have to own our lives, our decisions, our commitment -- our character!

We embrace words like relaxation and recreation, and often resist words like responsibility. But responsibility has everything to do with character.

Other people hold us to accountability; we hold ourselves to responsibility. Responsibility is akin to the four-letter word, DUTY!

Duty is doing what needs to be done without waiting for directions. It is taking responsibility for both the big and small things.

While emotions matter, they cannot and must not dictate what we do every day. Every time we choose duty over delinquency, we pass a test of character. “You have to DO what you want to BE,” as James and Dave Anderson write.

2. Respect

Respect has everything to do with values because we honor, protect and guard what we respect.

Respect begins with God our Creator, and He is our Father through Christ our Lord. It is the knowledge and awareness of this relationship that changes everything about how we live.

With respect for God and as men of character, we respect women. In February, I wrote an article for Baptist Press to husbands and said, “Your wife needs your respect more than roses.” But this is not limited to our wives.

Women deserve our respect as counterparts in God’s creation and co-recipients of His grace in salvation. While I fully subscribe to a complementarian view that God made us different to make us one in His design, I believe we are distinct, but equal.

Galatians 3:28 exhorts us to honor and respect women, and it disallows any place for demeaning, dishonoring or abusing others. Men of character must reject and repent of the all too common misogynistic attitudes and frequent objectification of women.

Our society is filled with multitudes of little girls and women who suffer emotional pain and physical or sexual abuse because they are devalued as human beings and disrespected because of their gender. This is more than an issue of culture; for men, it is an issue of character.

3. Restraint

Restraint applies to both responsibility and respect, and it is the opposite of selfishness. Many character flaws come from selfish impulse and indulgence.

Lives are saved and reputations are forged through selfless acts of sacrifice, while lives and reputations are lost and destroyed by selfish acts of indulgence. Restraint understands that life is not just about us. Unrestrained lives communicate life is all about us.

We need something greater than our own best efforts to overcome our self-driven impulses. Divine intervention and motivation change us from the inside out. Only God can do this through His saving grace and by the indwelling presence of His Holy Spirit.

Character is something we need God to shape in us -- not something we simply squeeze out of ourselves. Character building is what God does in the lives of all who come to Him in Christ. This is what makes the Gospel both powerful and personal.

4. Resilience

Character is forged and seen in endurance. We face the relentless realities of fatigue, frustration and failure while seeking to be faithful to each task. We must be resilient to stay the course as we struggle with endurance.

Character development is hard, but remember this: The road of life is littered by the debris of many men who have been talented and successful but failed because of their flawed character. My charge to men, to fathers, is to step up to The Character Challenge.

________

David H. McKinley is pastor-teacher at Warren Baptist Church in Augusta, Georgia.

Why Are You Not Sealed?

A beautiful incident occurred in our meetings on Fifth Avenue, New

York, that is full of tender memories. I spoke a few minutes to the

large Sabbath School before preaching in the morning, and found a very

great religious interest through the whole school. All seemed bathed

in tears. Among those who wept freely was a bright boy about seven

years old, the son of a Broadway silk merchant. This boy was very

angry at himself for weeping, and angry at me for being the cause of

his weeping.

When the morning services commenced, he took a seat with his father

in the pew, and as soon as I commenced reading the Scriptures, he put

his fingers in his ears, and refused to remove them for some time. His

father asked him why he did so.

"Because, papa, he made us all cry in Sunday School. I don't want

to cry."

After a while he looked about, and found the congregation were not

weeping, so he ventured to take his fingers out of his ears. Just at

that moment I was reading from the seventh of Revelation the account

of the angel putting a seal upon the foreheads of all those that wept

over the sins of the people. I paused for an instant while reading

this, and asked all in the church if they would be willing, then and

there, before leaving their seats, to be sealed for heaven. And

putting my finger on my forehead, I asked again:

"Would each one of you be willing to go out of this house with a

plain, visible seal on your forehead, so that any one looking upon

your forehead, would say 'There is a Christian. See the seal.' Would

any of you want to hide your face? Do you ever go where you would not

go if you had a plain, visible seal on your forehead?"

The boy was so interested with this thought that he whispered to

his father:

"What is a Christian, papa?"

The father said:

"I suppose, Charley, it is one that loves and serves the Lord."

Charley replied:

"Why are you not a Christian, papa? I don't see any seal on your

forehead."

The father bowed his head, and was deeply moved by Charley's

inquiry, for he knew he ought to be a Christian. He declared,

afterward, that he thought he could hardly have felt worse if a pistol

had been pulled off on him. The effect was so great upon him that he

immediately resolved to become a Christian, but not in a protracted

meeting. He would wait until Mr. Earle had gone.

That Sunday afternoon he took his usual ride in Central Park, but

almost every man he met, he was looking up under his hat for that seal

on his forehead.

That evening he came to church so deeply convicted of his lost

condition that, as soon as an opportunity was offered, he left his

pew, and kneeled in front of the desk for prayer. The pastor kneeled

with him, and before he rose from his knees he gave himself to Christ,

and soon became an active member of that church, and, I trust, is

"sealed for the courts above."

Let me ask all who read this incident, the question Charley asked

his father, "Why are you not a Christian?" Is there a seal on your

forehead? If not, will you not ask the angel to seal you at once for

your heavenly home? "Having this seal, the Lord knoweth them that are

his." -- A. B. Earle, From: "Incidents Used ... In His Meetings,"

published in 1888

Why Are You Not Sealed?

A beautiful incident occurred in our meetings on Fifth Avenue, New

York, that is full of tender memories. I spoke a few minutes to the

large Sabbath School before preaching in the morning, and found a very

great religious interest through the whole school. All seemed bathed

in tears. Among those who wept freely was a bright boy about seven

years old, the son of a Broadway silk merchant. This boy was very

angry at himself for weeping, and angry at me for being the cause of

his weeping.

When the morning services commenced, he took a seat with his father

in the pew, and as soon as I commenced reading the Scriptures, he put

his fingers in his ears, and refused to remove them for some time. His

father asked him why he did so.

"Because, papa, he made us all cry in Sunday School. I don't want

to cry."

After a while he looked about, and found the congregation were not

weeping, so he ventured to take his fingers out of his ears. Just at

that moment I was reading from the seventh of Revelation the account

of the angel putting a seal upon the foreheads of all those that wept

over the sins of the people. I paused for an instant while reading

this, and asked all in the church if they would be willing, then and

there, before leaving their seats, to be sealed for heaven. And

putting my finger on my forehead, I asked again:

"Would each one of you be willing to go out of this house with a

plain, visible seal on your forehead, so that any one looking upon

your forehead, would say 'There is a Christian. See the seal.' Would

any of you want to hide your face? Do you ever go where you would not

go if you had a plain, visible seal on your forehead?"

The boy was so interested with this thought that he whispered to

his father:

"What is a Christian, papa?"

The father said:

"I suppose, Charley, it is one that loves and serves the Lord."

Charley replied:

"Why are you not a Christian, papa? I don't see any seal on your

forehead."

The father bowed his head, and was deeply moved by Charley's

inquiry, for he knew he ought to be a Christian. He declared,

afterward, that he thought he could hardly have felt worse if a pistol

had been pulled off on him. The effect was so great upon him that he

immediately resolved to become a Christian, but not in a protracted

meeting. He would wait until Mr. Earle had gone.

That Sunday afternoon he took his usual ride in Central Park, but

almost every man he met, he was looking up under his hat for that seal

on his forehead.

That evening he came to church so deeply convicted of his lost

condition that, as soon as an opportunity was offered, he left his

pew, and kneeled in front of the desk for prayer. The pastor kneeled

with him, and before he rose from his knees he gave himself to Christ,

and soon became an active member of that church, and, I trust, is

"sealed for the courts above."

Let me ask all who read this incident, the question Charley asked

his father, "Why are you not a Christian?" Is there a seal on your

forehead? If not, will you not ask the angel to seal you at once for

your heavenly home? "Having this seal, the Lord knoweth them that are

his." -- A. B. Earle, From: "Incidents Used ... In His Meetings,"

published in 1888

Indifference to the Judgment

When William Channing was a boy of ten years, he heard Dr. Hopkins

preach

a forceful sermon on the reasonableness of a future judgment. He was

deeply impressed and expected his father, who was a deacon of the

Congregational church, to speak to him about his soul's salvation. He

did not utter a word in regard to the sermon or his danger but, on

reaching home, sat down to read.

Dr. Channing says, "I made up my mind that my father did not

believe one word that he had heard. He was not alarmed; why should I

be? I dismissed the whole subject from my thoughts." His father's

thoughtlessness drove him into the ranks of heterodoxy, and he became

the champion of Unitarianism.

William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."

The Love of A Father

Matthew 10

It is not easy being a father. One cynic, speaking from his own experience, noted that children go through four fascinating stages.

First they call you DaDa. Then they call you Daddy. As they mature they call you Dad. Finally they call you collect.

Today we salute fathers. Dads, we love you. The role of a Christian father is more important in today's world than ever before. It is a different roll than in earlier generations. In most households today Dad is called upon to play more of a nurturing role in caring for children. If Mom works outside the home, Dad must take a more active role in doing household chores. Dad is no longer "lord of the castle." Hopefully, however, he has not been reduced to being another of the vassals.

Today's father needs to be nurturing of his children, supportive of his wife, and yet at the same time provide the spiritual leadership of the home that the Bible accords to fathers. It is a rare man, a special kind of man, who can combine all three of these qualities. We salute Christian fathers this day. Your family needs you more than ever before.

The most common image that Jesus used in describing God was that of "Father." It makes me think that Joseph must have been a very special kind of father. We center much of our attention on his mother, Mary, but Joseph must have also combined those very special qualities of strength and gentleness that we associate with Jesus. Jesus had a very keen knowledge of the Old Testament Scriptures. In the Jewish home it was the father who had the primary responsibility for his son's religious instruction. Of course we know that Jesus had an unique relationship with God. Still, I have to believe that Joseph, though barely mentioned in the Gospel narrative, was probably an influential role model for Jesus. Why else would Jesus have chosen the imagery of "Father" to portray God?

In Matthew 10: 29-31 we have one of the most important Scriptural reminders of the love of our Heavenly Father for His children. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?" Jesus asks, "And not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's will. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." What a moving testimony to the very intimate love that God has for each of us.

1. Sparrows Do Fall from Skies 2. Life's Problems are Not Punishment for Our Sins 3. We Never Fall Beyond the Watchful Eye of the Father.

How We View Our Fathers

4 years: My daddy can do anything.

7 years: My dad knows a lot, a whole lot.

8 years: My father doesn't quite know everything.

12 years: Oh well, naturally Father doesn't know everything. 14 years: Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned.

21 years: Oh, that man is out-of-date. What did you expect?

25 years: He knows a little bit about it but not much.

30 years: Must find out what Dad thinks about it.

35 years: A little patience, let's get Dad"s meaning first.

40 years: What would Dad have thought about it?

50 years: My Dad knew literally everything.

60 years: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.

We All Need Dads!

Some years ago, South Africa's game managers had to figure out what to do about the elephant herd at Kruger National Park. The herd was growing well beyond the ability of the park to sustain it. And so they decided to transport some of the herd to a nearby game park. A dozen years later, however, several of the young male elephants (now teenagers) that had been transported to the game park began attacking the park 's herd of white rhinos, an endangered species. They used their trunks to throw sticks at the rhinos, chased them over long hours and great distances and stomped to death a tenth of the herd -- all for no discernible reason. Park managers decided they had no choice but to kill some of the worst juvenile offenders. They had killed five of them when someone came up with another bright idea.

They brought in some of the mature male elephants still residing in the Kruger Park and hoped that the bigger, stronger males could bring the adolescents under control. To the delight of the park officials, it worked. The big bulls quickly established the natural hierarchy and reduced the violent behavior of the younger bulls. "The new discipline, it turned out, was not just a matter of size intimidation," says Raspberry. "The young bulls actually started following the Big Daddies around, yielding to their authority and learning from them proper elephant conduct. The assaults on the white rhinos ended abruptly." Raspberry's point was that young males -- whether they are wild animals or human beings -- need Dads. King Duncan, Collected Sermons, from October 11, 2005, Washington Post Writers Group.

The Flip Side of Love

A lot of damage can occur in a family. Parents can be hurt. Children can be hurt. But there is always hope in a home where forgiveness is present. John R. Aurelio, in his book Colors!, gives us a beautiful portrayal of this side of God.

On the sixth day, God created Father Adam and Mother Eve. On the seventh day, as God was resting, they asked Him if He would give them something special to commemorate their birthday. So God reached into His treasure chest and took out a sacred coin. Written on it was the word "LOVE."

On the eighth day, Father Adam and Mother Eve sinned. As they left the Garden of Eden, they asked God for an assurance that He would not abandon them.

"You have the coin," He told them.

"But, the coin says LOVE," they answered. "We have lost love. How ever will we find it again?"

"Turn it over," God said.

On the other side of the coin was written the word "FORGIVENESS."

Aurelio goes on to say that there is no love without forgiveness and no forgiveness without love. They are the two sides of the same coin.

John R. Aurelio, Colors!, New York: The Crossroad Publishing Company, 1993, p. 133.

I Loved Daddy

To love someone unconditionally as I loved Daddy is to remember isolated and long-past moments together, to remember nuances that made such an object of love unique and impossible to replace.

That is why I remember, and cherish, the memories of the man's hair, his smell, his likes and dislikes, his speech, and his idiosyncrasies.

We had such a little time together. War took him away.

Then he came back for a short time before he was gone again. He never would return on a full-time basis.

Maybe that is why each of the nuances, each of the jokes and stories, each of the memories is so priceless to me. I have some pictures of my father. I have that packet of war records. I have the flag that was across his casket. I have his Bronze Star and his Purple Hearts in a frame and they hang on my wall.

But what I don't have anymore is him. There will be no new memories made. That is why I cling to those I have with such tenacity.

Lewis Grizzard, My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun /

When God Created Fathers

When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that?

If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."

And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"

And when God made a father's hands, they were large and sinewy.

And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do You know what You're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."

God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a child's face."

Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.

The angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do You realize You just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"

God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do You honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"

And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to "ride a horse to Banbury Cross" or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant.

Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?"

And the angel shutteth up!

By Erma Bombeck /

FATHER'S DAY: A TRIBUTE

Today is Father's Day. A day of cologne. A day of hugs, new neckties, long-distance phone calls, and Hallmark cards.

Today is my first Father's Day without a father. For thirty-one years I had one. I had one of the best. But now he's gone. He's buried under an oak tree in a west Texas cemetery. Even though he's gone, his presence is very near -- especially today.

It seems strange that he isn't here. I guess that's because he was never gone. He was always close by. Always available. Always present. His words were nothing novel. His achievements, though admirable, were nothing extraordinary.

But his presence was.

Like a warm fireplace in a large house, he was a source of comfort.

Like a sturdy porch swing or a big-branched elm in the backyard, he could always be found...and leaned upon.

During the turbulent years of my adolescence, Dad was one part of my life that was predictable. Girl friends came and girl friends went, but Dad was there. Football season turned into baseball season and turned into football season again and Dad was always there. Summer vacation, Homecoming dates, algebra, first car, driveway basketball -- they all had one thing in common: his presence.

And because he was there life went smoothly. The car always ran, the bills got paid, and the lawn stayed mowed. Because he was there, the laughter was fresh and the future was secure. Because he was there my growing up was what God intended growing up to be; a storybook scamper through the magic and mystery of the world.

Because he was there we kids never worried about things like income tax, savings accounts, monthly bills, or mortgages. Those were the things on Daddy's desk.

We have lots of family pictures without him. Not because he wasn't there, but because he was always behind the camera.

He made the decisions, broke up the fights, chuckled at Archie Bunker, read the paper every evening, and fixed breakfast on Sundays.

He didn't do anything unusual. He only did what dads are supposed to do -- be there.

He taught me how to shave and how to pray. He helped me memorize verses for Sunday school and taught me that wrong should be punished and that rightness has its own reward. He modeled the importance of getting up early and staying out of debt. His life expressed the elusive balance between ambition and self-acceptance.

He comes to mind often. When I smell "Old Spice" aftershave, I think of him. When I see a bass boat I see his face. And occasionally, not too often, but occasionally when I hear a good joke, (the kind Red Skelton would tell), I hear him chuckle. He had a copyright chuckle that always came with a wide grin and arched eyebrows.

Daddy never said a word to me about sex or told me his life story.

But I knew that if I ever wanted to know, he would tell me. All I had to do was ask. And I knew if I ever needed him, he'd be there.

Like a warm fireplace.

Maybe that's why this Father's Day is a bit chilly. The fire has gone out. The winds of age swallowed the late splendid flame, leaving only golden embers. But there is a strange thing about those embers...stir them a bit and a flame will dance. It will dance only briefly, but it will dance. And it will knock just enough chill out of the air to remind me that he is still...in a special way...very present.

Max Lucado /

History of Father's Day [2 versions]

Fathers Day occurs on the 3rd Sunday in June. The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington.

A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909.

Having been raised by her father, Henry Jackson Smart, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man.

Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge proclaimed the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. Roses are the Father's Day flowers.

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From Rev. Brett Blair:

Garrison Keillor, on his “Writer’s Almanac” on National Public Radio reminds us that Father's Day goes back “to a Sunday morning in May of 1909, when a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd was sitting in church in Spokane, Washington, listening to a Mother's Day sermon. She thought of her father who had raised her and her siblings after her mother died in childbirth, and she thought that fathers should get recognition, too. So she asked the minister of the church if he would deliver a sermon honoring fathers on her father's birthday, which was coming up in June, and the minister did. And the tradition of Father's Day caught on, though rather slowly. Mother's Day became an official holiday in 1914; Father's Day, not until 1972. Mother's Day is still the busiest day of the year for florists, restaurants and long distance phone companies. Father's Day is the day on which the most collect phone calls are made.

We thought you said Daddy!

As we celebrate Father's Day today, I would like to share the following story about the effect that one father had on his family.

This particular family had three small children who were determined to have a puppy. Mom protested because she knew that somehow or other, she would end up caring for the critter. True to form, the children solemnly promised that they would take care of it. Eventually, she relented and they brought their little puppy home. The children named him Danny and cared for him diligently - at first. But, sure enough, as time passed, Mom found herself becoming more and more responsible for taking care of the dog. Finally, she decided that the children were not living up to their promise so she began to search for a new home for Danny. When she found one and broke the news to the children, she was quite surprised that they had almost no reaction at all. One of them even said rather matter-of-factly, "We'll miss him."

"I'm sure we will," Mom answered, "but he is too much work for one person and since I'm the one that has to do all the work, I say he goes."

"But," protested another child, "if he wouldn't eat so much and wouldn't be so messy, could we keep him?"

Mom held her ground, "It's time to take Danny to his new home." Suddenly, with one voice and with tears in their eyes, the children exclaimed, "Danny? We thought you said Daddy!"

Traditional /

12 Practical Ways For Men To Impact Fatherless Kids

1. [content is missing]

2. Contact your local junior or senior high school to tutor a needy kid

3. Teach Sunday School

4. Become a leader in Awana, Pioneer Clubs, or Adventure Club

5. Meet one-on-one weekly, with a boy in your church or neighborhood who doesn't have a father in the home

6. Become a leader in Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts

7. Coach Little League or some other sport

8. Volunteer to work with needy kids in an inner city ministry

9. Hire a potentially "at risk" kid for yard work or in your business

10. Become active youth leaders in your local church or a parachurch organization

11. Start a church-based sports league that reaches out to needy kids in the community

12. Lead a Bible study in a juvenile detention center or group home June 1996 issue of The Standard (pp 20-23), published by the Baptist General Conference, 2002 S. Arlington Heights Rd., Arlington Heights, IL.

Depressing Statistics

At the beginning of this decade David Popenoe wrote an article entitled "A World Without Fathers." He gave some rather depressing statistics then: In just three decades, from 1960-1990, the percentage of children living apart for their biological father has more than doubled, from 17% to 36%. It is now estimated that by the turn of the century, 50% of all American children may go to bed at night without being able to speak to their father.

So how are we doing? I am sad to say that I found at least one source which confirmed David Popenoe's prediction.

In an article entitled "Fathering Fatherless America" Dr. Scott J. Larson reports: One in two children now grow up without a father in the United States, and in our inner cities only one in five children live with their father. A whole new mission field has developed in America: Fathering fatherless kids.

Perhaps the most relevant missionary challenge for our society was penned by the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians: Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father. (I Cor. 4:15 NIV) Paul knew that these people didn't need another teacher, their needs were much deeper, they needed a father. One can't be a father to very many, but Paul knew that God was calling him to be a father to some people in Corinth.

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www.Sermons.com

The Disappearing Dad

Today, we are seeing the disappearing dad. Time magazine featured a cover story on fatherhood. In that story it documented the changing shape of what we call family life. It reported that fathers used to occupy a greater place in the home and that "well into the 18th century, childrearing manuals in America were generally addressed to fathers, not mothers.

But as the industrialization began to separate home and work, fathers could not be in both places at once.

Family life in the 19th century was defined by what historians call the feminization of the domestic sphere and the marginalization of the father as a parent."

The article makes some other sobering points. "Rising divorce rates and out-of-wedlock births mean that more than 40% of all children born between 1970 and 1984 are likely to spend much of their childhood living in single parent homes."

And the impact of these fatherless homes on the children is significant, if not devastating.

Time goes on to say, "Studies of young criminals have found that more than 70% of all juveniles in state reform institutions come from fatherless homes. Children from broken families are nearly twice as likely as those in two-parent families to drop out of high school."

Dr. Harold L. White, "Fatherhood" /

Dad as Nurturer

I think that we can affirm that fathers are called upon to be nurturers. We see so much that is negative about society today that sometimes we forget that there are some very positive things that are happening. One of those positive things, it seems to me, is that society is completely rethinking what the role of the father should be. Society, and the church to a lesser degree, is saying: it is not enough dad, just to be the breadwinner. You need to help with the nurturing as well.

This is not always easy because men historically have not done this.

There was an interesting story that appeared on the NBC Today show that told about a YMCA program in California. Fathers are placed in a playroom with their children. The mothers watch from a one-way window outside in the hallway. The one rule is that if the child starts crying, the father cannot take him or her to the mother. He must resolve the problem himself. If the child is given to the mother when it is crying, so the theory goes, that sends the signal that the one who gives the comfort and love is the mother.

Staff, www.eSermons.com /

70 Sermon Illustrations on Father S Day