118 Sermon Illustrations on Fathers

Foster mother brought up to believe God is a loving Father, but foster kids had earthly fathers who sexually, emotionally and physically abused them. Individual examples given. "God is not like a father, but a father is supposed to be like God, and Jesus has shown us what he is like. Fatherhood (or motherhood) is only one expression of his love." God is not limited by our weakness, but we should be molded to his strengths. We do not measure the fatherhood of God even by our best imitations; we define what we are called to be, by what he is.

Four types of fathers can be scripturally honored:

1. Our natural father.

2. Our spiritual father. (Person who won you to Christ.)

3. Our father in the faith. (Abraham)

4. Our heavenly father.

One of the most pathetic scenes in history is the execution of Sir Thomas Moore. As he was passing between soldiers from his cell in the tower to the beheading block in the court, a woman was seen to rush from the crowd, and as the soldiers saw her sad face, they instinctively parted, and let her pass through. Hanging upon the neck of the condemned man, she could simply cry with the tears, "My father, my father."

After several minutes of affectionate embrace she tore herself away, and started out of the court, but soon dashed back, and hung again upon the neck of her beloved father. The rough soldiers stood silent and wept. Everybody felt that such a demonstration of love was appropriate, that there was no fanaticism in it. It was just how an affectionate daughter ought to feel towards her beloved but now disgraced father.

And if such enthusiasm of love may exist towards an earthly father how much greater the enthusiasm toward the Father in Heaven, who gave his only begotten Son that we may be saved from death, and toward the Son who sacrificed himself for us.

(Compare story of Rizpath, daughter of Aiah, who kept the birds from her executed sons.)

A personal exposition of the parable of the Prodigal Son, verse by verse. Author's older son wanted to ask grandpa for his inheritance ahead of time so he could pay for graduate school. Author replied, "Son, that wouldn't be good for your grandfather. It is, in effect, like asking him to drop dead: 'I wish you were dead, because I want what you have.'" He notes too many parents have received this loveless expression from their children.

Younger son in the parable takes off and gets "wasted." No cross in parable, no justice, but father's run to his son is that terrible sprint from heaven to the wood. The father makes three actions of love... The meal is a symbol of the fellowship we have with God in Communion.

Message of the story - the father is good.

Deals with fathers who stay home to take care of their kids. It is hard for fathers to do it all - to be "Mr. Mom." Women still do two or three times as much housework and child rearing as men. "Some fathers are downright angry about having to get involved. Studies show that marriages are more volatile when the father is forced to help around the house because the mother has taken a job. A Penn State study that followed blue-collar newlyweds for three years found that fathers in dual-earner marriages quarreled with their wives more than fathers in single-earner families."

Fathers tend to be more playful and physical, and girls are higher achievers when their fathers encourage them. Babies are more aware of their fathers than previously thought.

Side article on child-support shows that only 23% of it was paid in 1987. A 1981 study by the National Survey of Children found that nearly half of all children between the ages of 11 and 16 living with their mothers hadn't seen their father in a year.

From January 1976 Reader’s Digest:

A father and his 12-year-old daughter Sharon and 11-year-old son David hiked up Mount Ranier in Washington on Memorial Day weekend in 1968. It was their first long hike - a five-mile climb. An hour after they started hiking, a blizzard struck high on the flanks of the great mountain, trapping the father and his two young children.

The temperature dripped to 22 degrees, with wind and snow blowing at 50 mph. Snow fell in thin, wet sheets. It was impossible to see or move. A few steps in the wrong direction could mean certain death. So the three of them tramped around in a six-foot circle, making a depression in the snow. Then they spread a tarp over the trench. The father helped David and Sharon into their sleeping bags. Then he placed himself near an opening in case the wind blew the tarp off. In that way his body protected his son and daughter from the howling wind.

Just before six o’clock the next morning, a search party found the trio. The two children were alive; their father was dead. Sharon explained to the search party: “Dad gave his life for us.”

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A similar story from 9/9/08, by way of PreachingNow:

A Romanian hiker who lost his life high on Mount Rainier lay down in the snow and used his body’s warmth to save his wife and a friend from the 70-mph winds of a freak June blizzard, national park officials say. The story was reported on June 13, 2008, by Associated Press.

When it became obvious the trio of friends could not find their way back to base camp in whiteout conditions, they dug a snow trench with their hands. Then 31-year-old Eduard Burceag lay down on the snow and his wife and a friend lay on top of him. Later, when they begged him to switch places, Burceag refused, saying he was OK.

“In doing so, he probably saved their lives,” park spokesman Kevin Bacher said Thursday. Mariana Burceag, also 31, survived the storm, as did the couple’s good friend, Daniel Vlad, 34. All three of the hikers were from Romania.

Television reveals society's attitudes toward fathers:

1950's and "Father Knows Best."

Good-natured, somewhat aloof, unaware.

1970's and "All In The Family."

Bumbling and bigoted.

1990's and "Married With Children." (or "The Simpsons")

Lazy oaf.

In many of these programs, kids have wisdom and the upper hand. Fathers are laughable.

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In "The Effective Father", Gordon MacDonald wrote: "It is said of Boswell[*], the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson, that he often referred to a special day in his childhood when his father took him fishing. The day was fixed in his mind, and he often reflected upon many of the things his father had taught him in the course of their fishing experience together.

"After having heard of that particular excursion so often, it occurred to someone much later to check the journal that Boswell's father kept and determine what had been said about the fishing trip from the parental perspective. Turning to that date, the reader found only one sentence entered: 'Gone fishing today with my son; a day wasted.'" (1749)

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[*] MacDonald probaby got the source wrong - it is not Boswell, but G. Brook Adams. See versions below.

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Another version from Gerald Rodgers:

Sometimes there are effects of our influence that we may never know.

G. Brook Adams kept a diary from his boyhood. One special day when he was eight years old, he wrote in his diary, "Went fishing with my father; the most glorious day of my life." Throughout the next 40 years of his life he never forgot that day he went fishing with his father, he made repeated references to it in his diary, commenting on the influence of that day on his life.

Brook's father was an important man; he was Charles Francis Adams, the U.S. ambassador to Great Britain under the Lincoln administration. (Brook was also the grandson of 19th century president John Quincy Adams)

Interestingly, the father too made a note in his diary about the fishing trip.

He wrote simply, "Went fishing with my son; a day wasted."

Of course the day was not wasted; its value may well have proved to make it one of the most well-spent days in his life. No one can measure the influence of a man on his children, and that is all the more reason to take the job and its responsibilities seriously.

Someone has written,

"Last night my little boy confessed to me some childish wrong;

and kneeling at my knee, he prayed with tears,

'O Lord, make me a man like Daddy-wise and strong.

I know you can.'

Then while he slept, I knelt beside his bed,

confessed my sins and prayed with low-bowed head,

'O God, make me a child like my child here;

pure, guileless, trusting thee with faith sincere.'"

What kind of a father are you?

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Another version from Jack Graham:

The 19th century political figure Charles Francis Adams kept a diary. On one particular occasion, he wrote: “Went fishing with my son today -- a day wasted.” His son, Brook Adams, also wrote in a diary, which is still in existence today. In the entry he made that same day, Brook wrote: “Went fishing with my father -- the most wonderful day of my life!”

While Father Adams thought his entire day was wasted fishing with his son, Brook saw their time spent together as a blessing and investment. Obviously, it wasn’t the priority of Charles to spend quality time with his son.

In our culture, we often see the scenario where the father comes home from his job completed exhausted from the day’s work. As soon as he enters, the children are thrilled to see their dad and immediately pounce on him, looking for attention. The response from dad is: “Not now. I’m too tired. Go watch television.”

The words spoken to children most often in the American household today are: “Not now. Later. Go do something else.” But I ask you, when? When will it finally be time to forget yourself and remember your children? Later never comes for many, and parents oftentimes fail to communicate clearly with their children at young ages.

Sure, it’s easy to appease him or her with the nicest car, designer clothes and electronics, but most people forget to shower them with what is most important -- time. Before you know it, your child is 16 and has already tuned you out. You finally realize there is a need to sit down and talk, only to find out it’s too late. Your chance has passed.

It has been said over and over that a positive and continuous relationship between the father and child is associated with high self-esteem, more self-confidence in personal and social interaction, better morals, greater career aspirations and life goals, and reduced rates of unwed teen pregnancy.

Fathers who are affectionate, nurturing and actively involved in raising their children are more likely to have well-adjusted kids. An active father is there in good times and bad. From him, his children learn how to handle difficulty, anger, disappointment and success. He’s the foundation.

Luke 6:46-49 records the words of Jesus, “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock.

“When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”

Being a dad isn’t an easy job. As a matter of fact, it’s tough, demanding and requires all kinds of courage. Dads have a single challenge to be brave and strong for their families. First Corinthians 16:13 tells us to “watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.”

Dads who rock build their lives upon the Rock of ages -- the Lord Jesus Christ. And they construct their families upon foundations of faith established in Jesus Christ. Proverbs 14:26 says, “In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge.”

Your home should be the place where you can stand firm and not be shaken. Difficult days in our culture are among us. Satan is trying hard to hammer our kids, and while we can’t stop the fire from spreading, we can stop it at our doorsteps. It starts by making your home a place of refuge.

Believe it -- all of our families WILL be tested. I don’t know what storm you may be facing now or what fire will sweep through your family in the future, but I know that you will be able to stand firm and strong when you are built solidly on Jesus Christ. Dads who build the foundation of their family on Jesus do more than just attend church when it’s convenient, but they actually listen and apply God’s Word in their personal and homes lives.

Joshua was a dad who rocked. In the Bible, it was he who said, “And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

There are three simple building materials you need when building a foundation and future that will last for your family:

• LOVE. Embrace and show affection to your wife and children; give them encouragement through showing affirmation and acceptance, and spend quality time with your family.

• ENCOURAGE. Build up rather than tear down; equip them with God’s Word and wisdom from your own life.

• BELIEVE. Build your family upon the Rock -- Jesus Christ (see Proverbs 22:6); the most important thing your children can take with them into the world is faith in Jesus Christ.

Fathers, build your house, your life and your family upon the solid foundation of Jesus Christ and God’s Word with love, faith, and joy and your children will be unshakable. Dads that rock for Jesus Christ will produce an everlasting life change in their families and futures.

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"Fathers That Rock: The Solid Foundation For Families," Baptist Press, http://www.baptistpress.org, September 6, 2005.

Parenting advice is not hard to come by these days. Advice from grandparents and friends, articles, vlogs, and books detailing parenting strategies and philosophies all vie for our attention. When I became a new dad, it was the first time I ever crossed into the noble task of diaper changing. Thankfully my mother-in-law gifted me with a dad handbook complete with diagrams and dad-jokes. Parenting advice can be a blessing or an annoyance — some is good, some is bad, and some of it is just plain silly. It can be stressful for parents at all stages to sift through all the nonsense in search of those precious morsels of good counsel.

In the sea of parenting advice for new dads, how many people stop and dwell on the example of God the Father when looking for instruction on parenting? I wish I had done this sooner. The temptation may be to turn every which way to look for parenting advice when the example of our Heavenly Father is clear in the pages of Scripture. David even illustrates the Lord’s compassion as a father’s love toward his children (Ps. 103:13). God reveals himself as the Father on purpose, and his character and deeds are those of an ideal father. When I look to God’s Word, it is clear that the Father raises his children through presence, instruction, and love. And we dads should imitate his example.

Presence

“I will dwell among the people of Israel and will be their God. And they shall know that I am the Lord their God, who brought them out of the land of Egypt that I might dwell among them. I am the Lord their God.” (Ex. 29:45-46, ESV)

Throughout the Israelite’s exodus through Egypt, God did not leave his children alone. The Father was present with his people. When the children of Israel were sojourners in the wilderness, God provided manna, quail, and water. Later, the Father’s presence through his guiding instruction sustained his people even when he was silent. His presence set them apart from the rest of the world (Ex. 33:16).

In the same way, fathers should be present with their children. They are responsible for caring for their kids. Fathers would do well to imitate God’s commitment to his presence with his people. So many things, even good things, call for our attention, but few are more important than spending genuine time with our kids. Just as the children of Israel did best when they were aware of God’s presence, so too, our children will do best when their dads are visible and active in their lives. Research even shows that children are negatively affected when their fathers are absent.

Of course, fathers must also provide — though that will look different for each family — which usually means spending time away from their children for work. While human fathers can never achieve the omnipresence of God, they can ensure that their children experience their presence through explaining why they are away and how this helps them care for their family. So, for example, when a child is eating lunch and dad is away at work, they can remember they have a father who loves and cares for them.

Instruction

“Blessed is the man whom You instruct, O LORD, And teach out of Your law.” (Ps. 94:12, NKJV)

God’s instruction of his children is perhaps one of the most neglected practices imitated in Christian homes. The evidence of his instruction is all throughout Scripture. In the Old Testament, the Father made a point to instruct his children in his law. By giving the law, the Lord revealed his character to his people and also made them aware of sin (Rom. 7:7). Then, in the New Testament, he sent his Son, In the fullness of time, to save us from our sin and reconcile us to himself (Gal. 4:4). Now, those who are in Christ have the Holy Spirit to instruct them in the Word and lead them into holiness (John 16:13).

Out of this abundant example of God’s priority for instructing his children in his ways, Christian fathers must also place a high value on instructing their children (Prov. 1:8). When it comes to instructing children, opinions abound. But dads can be sure of this: God expects them to diligently raise their children, by his grace, to fear and love him (Deut. 6). Young children are sponges — they perceive new things about the world each day. Even small children will slowly begin to recognize that their parents submit to One who is their authority. However, this must eventually take the form of intentional instruction from the Bible.

The instruction of children is anything but passive. Fathers cannot outsource this responsibility, though other trusted adults will often play a role in a child’s spiritual formation. It is a blessing for fathers to get to raise their children in the fear of the Lord. And it’s vital, for it helps paint a picture of who our Heavenly Father is, even in the mundane things of life like eating dinner, getting ready for the day, traveling, or doing chores.

Love

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8)

The Father’s love is not contingent on our actions but proceeds from his very heart. God gave what was most precious to him in order to save his children while we were still in active rebellion against him, while we were his enemies. And he is committed to his children all the way until the end (John 13:1). God’s love is unconditional and sacrificial.

In a world full of independence and self-serving motivations, Christian fathers should see to follow God’s example of sacrificial and unconditional love, however imperfectly. When we forsake other good things to spend time playing with our children, for example, we model a small piece of God’s sacrificial love for us. The love displayed in this sacrifice is not conditional on a lack of temper tantrums or clean rooms. Instead, fatherly love finds its origin in the Father’s love for us. The realization of how it pleased God to sacrifice for the sake of his children in ways that should lead Christian fathers to ask him for a heart to love our kids well.

Conclusion

Even in a world in sexual crisis, society is coming around to the fact that fathers are instrumental. That’s because God’s design for the family — which includes a married father and mother with children — leads to individual and societal flourishing. Because of the fall, families will not be perfect, but fathers should try their best to lavish their children with their presence, faithful instruction in the Lord, and love that points to the One who loves their kids best. As we strive to bring up our children in the ways of God, let us cast aside worldly advice and follow the example of our Heavenly Father. We will not always get it right, but we can trust God to sustain us and ask him to give us the joy of seeing our children walk in the truth (3 John 4).

In 2016, psychologist Dr. Peter Langman compiled biographical data on 56 American school shooters. He found that 82% had grown up in dysfunctional family situations, usually without two biological parents at home. The trend has sadly continued. The shooter in Uvalde, Texas, hadn’t lived with his father in years. The Sandy Hook shooter hadn’t seen his father in the two years leading up to that massacre.

Last month, new research from the Institute for Family Studies demonstrated, once again, how important fathers are, especially for boys. For example, boys growing up without their dads are only half as likely to graduate from college as their peers who live with dad at home. Strikingly, those numbers remain steady even after controlling for other factors such as race, income, and general IQ. Boys without a dad at home are also almost twice as likely to be “idle” in their late twenties, defined as neither working nor in school, and are significantly more likely to have been arrested or incarcerated by the time they turn 35.

These are only a few of the data points which demonstrate that fatherlessness is one of the most pressing crises our culture is facing. Why doesn’t our culture talk more about this?

One reason is that this crisis intersects other “third rails.” Our culture got to this point via the sexual revolution, which encouraged promiscuity by redefining freedom and prioritizing autonomy over responsibility. When sex outside of marriage becomes normal, it is mostly women who are left on their own to raise the resulting children.

There are other contributing factors as well, many of which were made possible by legislation. Divorce has been largely destigmatized, not in small part by making it legally easier. The legal demand for same-sex “marriage” brought with it the demand for same-sex parenting, which by definition asserts that kids do not need both a mother and a father. Certain forms of assisted reproduction likewise assert that children are less the fruit of a committed marriage than they are a commercial process.

And now here we are, with 32% of American boys growing up in homes without their biological dads. If there’s anything that we should learn from the grim outcomes of this social experiment, it is that dads aren’t replaceable. This was true from creation, but even more so in a fallen world with each of us born with a fallen human nature. We only learn to grow from socially, emotionally, and spiritually immature children into adults so that we can live together in a healthy way by seeing healthy behavior modeled and by having unhealthy behavior corrected.

Scripture passages affirm that mentoring in righteousness requires demonstration, as much or more than just explanation. Christ repeatedly told his followers to “do as He did.” When He washed His disciples’ feet, He offered it as an object lesson: “I give you an example, that you also should do as I did to you.” Paul told believers in Corinth and Ephesus to be “imitators” of him, just as he was an “imitator of Christ.”

In other places, Scripture even points to modelling and mimicry in sex-specific ways. In his letter to Titus, Paul instructed men to be “dignified” and “self-controlled” and to “urge the younger men to be self-controlled.” He also told the older women to “teach what is good” and to “train the younger women” to be “self-controlled,” “pure” and “kind.” 

That, of course, is another cultural third rail. We are so desperate to pretend sexual difference isn’t built into our biological reality, we simply cannot abide the suggestion that our genders are critically important in parenting. But the numbers don’t lie. As Dr. Ryan Anderson, president of the Ethics and Public Policy Center, puts it, “[T]here is no such thing as ‘parenting.’ There is mothering, and there is fathering — children do best with both.”

Christians can challenge the growing public safety crisis that is fatherlessness, and we must start in the Church. We must affirm, in word and in action, that there are men and there are women and that both matter in parenting. We have to de-normalize absent dads, challenge men to take responsibility for their sexual choices and for their children, and fill in the gaps whenever and however necessary.

No matter if our technologies and cultural dogmas pretend otherwise, every child has a father. These new statistics show, again, that every child needs their father. We have no right to deprive them of that.

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Copyright (c) 2022 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

Sermon in Family series. Father's Day. Essentials of a Spiritual Dad.

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THE FIVE P'S OF PATERING

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I. Patering, a powerful calling.

II. Five P's of Dadding.

A. A Dad of Prayer.

1) Be a spiritual example.

2) Kids need to see that you honor God.

3) Your spiritual leadership will produce eternal fruit.

B. A Dad of Purpose.

1) "Hands on" participation.

2) Our lives need to be directed by a clear purpose.

C. A Dad of Patience.

1) Dictators and wimps.

2) Gentleness. Isa 40:11

D. A Dad of Play.

1) Our kids should remember us as dads who were fun.

2) Carefree time can be constructive time.

E. A Dad of Praise.

1) The power of acceptance.

2) Be positive more often than you are negative.

III. Legacies are forever.

A. Stuff doesn't matter. Our kids do.

B. How firm a foundation?

For most Americans, prisoners and their families are an example of “out of sight, out of mind.” But every once in a while you come across a story that forces you to look.

One such story recently ran in USA Today. It told the story of three brothers: James, Frank, and Sonny Caston. Each of them is serving a life sentence in Louisiana’s Angola prison.

The Castons grew up in what the paper calls, “tiny Lake Providence, Louisiana.” They were raised by a father who idolized the outlaw Jesse James so much that he named his two oldest sons after the James brothers.

While names alone are not destiny, in this case, family breakup and a childhood characterized by abuse and neglect did not help the Caston boys stay on the straight and narrow. So, by their early teens, their neighbors called them the “James gang.”

Like their father’s hero, the Caston boys “graduated” from property crime to murder. By the time they were 22 and 21, respectively, Frank and Sonny were serving a life sentence for the murder of a sheriff’s deputy. Jesse eventually made it three-for-three after confessing to murdering his wife and her best friend.

While the Castons are an “extreme” case, in the sense of their shared violence, their story of crime running in families is not unusual. Researchers have long known that a disproportionate percentage of crime is committed by a very small percentage of the population. By some estimates, 6 percent of the population is responsible for more than 50 percent of all offenses.

What most of these offenders share are broken and/or, as in the Caston’s case, dysfunctional families. They lack examples of what it means to be the kind of man who loves his children, supports his family, and teaches his kids right from wrong. Fatherlessness makes young men anywhere from two to four times more likely to be incarcerated.

What is more, the data also shows that many of these offenders come from families with criminal histories. A Boston study of one neighborhood found “one family whose contacts with the local criminal justice system spanned five generations.” Virtually every male example in their life was a bad one.

Without timely intervention by people committed to breaking this cycle, the tragedies will only perpetuate themselves. One generation will give rise to the next and the next.

Breaking that cycle is the mission of Prison Fellowship. It is why our ministry is to both prisoners and their families, because when you reach an inmate with the Gospel, that impact goes far beyond one person’s life. It changes a family and even an entire community. A transformed man or woman goes from perpetuating this cycle of crime to breaking it.

When Angel Tree volunteers minister to the children of offenders, they are working to break the cycle. When we champion initiatives that support the family of prisoners and healthy family reconciliation, we are working to break the cycle.

We cannot plead “out of sight, out of mind” when the Lord Himself asks us about it — and He will.

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Copyright (c) 2008 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #17416]

What do Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Albert Schweitzer, and G. K. Chesterton have in common?

All of them were prominent Christians of the last century. But these champions of our Heavenly Father had something else in common, as well: All had exceptionally close relationships with their earthly fathers.

In his new book, Faith of the Fatherless, psychologist Paul Vitz says he initially set out to examine the lives of prominent atheists of the last four centuries. He discovered that all had fathers who were weak, abusive, missing, or dead. But then he began to wonder: Was it possible that what appears to modern eyes to be defective fathering simply reflected the social conditions of the time?

To find the answer, Vitz compared the family conditions of prominent atheists to those of prominent theists from the same period. What he found is startling: Every theist he studied had a strong and tender bond with his father, or with a father substitute. And as adults, these men became known for taking on the intellectual forces of atheism.

For example, Blaise Pascal, the great French philosopher and mathematician, was home-schooled by his Catholic father. Their relationship was close and affectionate. As an adult, Vitz writes, Pascal wrote "a powerful and imaginative defense of Christianity."

John Henry Newman, the Catholic cardinal, also had a life-long, loving relationship with his father. Vitz notes that Newman developed a "clear and critical understanding of modernism," and wrote rational responses to it.

Alexis de Tocqueville, French aristocrat and author of Democracy in America, loved his father deeply. Tocqueville argued that religion is absolutely necessary in the public life of a nation -- a view that was, Vitz writes, "really quite unusual" at a time when atheistic views of culture "were becoming standard in Europe."

William Wilberforce is known as Britain's great Christian abolitionist, but few people know he was also a devoted dad. When his son Samuel was away at school, Wilberforce found time to write him more than 600 letters in which he poured out his love. Samuel later became a bishop who was "well-known as one of the major debaters in the conflict ... over Darwinian evolutionary theory," Vitz writes.

G.K. Chesterton, the Christian apologist, was deeply attached to his father, who was Chesterton's constant companion when he was a child.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German theologian who was executed by Hitler, also came from a loving home. His father was a major presence in the lives of his children, whom he treated with respect and affection, Vitz writes.

The great missionary to Africa, Albert Schweitzer, called his father "my dearest friend." Karl Barth, the Swiss-German theologian, also enjoyed a close relationship with his father.

In light of Vitz's research, the importance of good fathering can hardly be overstated. His book helps us understand why scripture commands fathers to provide diligent spiritual leadership to their children -- and why, in Ephesians, fathers are specifically instructed to avoid provoking their children to anger.

Vitz's remarkable book, Faith of the Fatherless, will help you understand why some people become evangelists for atheism -- and why others become fervent followers of God.

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Copyright (c) 2000 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

Father's Day, contrary to popular misconception, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when a “father's day” was first proposed there were no Father's Day cards!

Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington, first proposed the idea of a “father's day” in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd's mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington state. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent.

The first Father's Day was observed on June 19, 1910 in Spokane Washington. At about the same time in various towns and cities across American other people were beginning to celebrate a “father's day.” In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day. Finally in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.

Father's Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure. Stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, and adult male friends are all be honored on Father's Day.

There's a difference in our society between the way Mother's Day & Father's Day are perceived, promoted and celebrated. MD: Sentimental, corsages, restaurants & florists advertise big; FD: Less sentimental, no flowers, men's clothing stores advertise. There's an element of humor that surrounds FD that is just simply not present at MD. Big question at this time of year is: "What kind of tie are we going to get him?" A couple of years ago a local store even had a post-FD "ugly tie" contest with special consideration for the ugliest!

In the popular 1991 movie City Slickers three urban men are trying to deal with mid-life crisis by going on a cattle drive. In one scene the three men are asking each other what the best & worst days of their lives were. For each, a father was involved. For one his best day was when his father took him to Yankee Stadium. For another it was the day he got married and his father winked at him during the ceremony. For another the best & worst day were the same--the day he told his father to get out of the house because he was hurting the family through infidelity.

Lucille Ball, shortly before her death, did a remarkable TV interview with Merv Griffin. He asked her a very serious and pointed question: "Lucille, you've lived a long time on this earth and you are a wise person. What's happened to our country? What's wrong with our children? Why are our families falling apart? What's missing?" Lucille Ball answered without hesitation--"Papa's missing. Things are falling apart because Papa's gone. If Papa were here he would fix it."

Most of the time we as fathers are unaware of that impact. I was reminded this past week when I looked at Zachary's kindergarten report card. Under the entry, "Prints his name correctly" Zachary got a "P" for "part of the time" rather than a "M" for "most of the time." An explanatory note from the teacher said, "Zachary reverts to all capital letters frequently." Want to guess who prints in all capital letters? Guess where Zachary learned it! (I print my letters in all capitals!)

Daddy had a little boy,

His soul was white as snow.

He never went to Sunday School

Cause Daddy wouldn't go.

He never heard the Word of God.

That thrills the childish mind,

While other children went to class,

This child was left behind.

As he grew from babe to youth,

Dad saw to his dismay,

A soul that once was snowy white,

Became a dingy grey.

Realizing that his son was lost,

Dad tried to win him back.

But now the soul that once was white,

Had turned an ugly black.

Dad even started back to church,

and Bible study too;

He begged the preacher,

"Isn't there a thing you can do?"

The preacher tried, failed, and said

"We're just too far behind;

I tried to tell you years ago,

But you would pay me no mind."

And so another soul was lost,

That once was white as snow;

Sunday School would have helped,

But Daddy wouldn't go.

- Pulpit Helps

I am an adopted child. The man who was my Daddy for 44 years was

not my biological father. I am also the Daddy to three children who I

did not "Father." My fiance's boys (7 and 13) call me James but it is

in exactly the same tone of voice that they use when they say Mom.

Her daughter calls me James but is teaching her son to call me

Grandad.

I suppose the illustration here is that we are not always able to

say what we mean. It is a great gift of God to be able to hear what

they mean and are unable to say.

My relationship with God is like that. I often can't express my

true feelings or problems but God hears my heart not my words.

-- JAMES HOGUE

There's a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad read:

Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on

Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father.

On Saturday 800 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.

[The story was written by Ernest Hemingway.]

_________________

Another version:

A FATHER'S FORGIVENESS

In his book, WHAT’S SO AMAZING ABOUT GRACE, Phillip Yancey tells the story of Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway grew up in a very devout evangelical family, and yet there he never experienced the grace of Christ. He lived a libertine life that most of us would call “dissolute”... but there was no father, no parent waiting for him and he sank into the mire of a graceless depression. A short story he wrote perhaps reveals the grace that he hoped for. It is the story of a Spanish father who decided to reconcile with his son who had run away to Madrid. The father, in a moment of remorse, takes out this ad in El Libro , a newspaper. “Paco, meet me at Hotel Montana, Noon, Tuesday... All is forgiven... Papa.” When the father arrived at the square in hopes of meeting his son, he found eight hundred Pacoes waiting to be reunited with their father. Was Paco such a popular name? Or is a father's forgiveness the salve for every soul?

____________

Rev. Brent Eelman, D. Min., Northwoods Presbyterian Church, 1998.

The Fathers Day Council of New York gives us these facts and figures: - There are 80 million fathers in America today. Of these, about 1.5 million are single fathers. The average number of gifts per dad on Fathers Day is 2.5, with a combined value of $70. Very few dads get more than 10 gifts on Fathers day.

Sportswear for men was "invented" in the 1940s. Together with the growing national popularity of Fathers' Day, it gave mothers "social permission" to dress dad "the way she wanted him to look in her fantasies."

On Fathers Day, 80 million pounds of beef are consumed on picnics and barbecues, and 100 million cards are mailed.

_____________

On the Father Front, Spring, 1993, Page 1

"Becoming husbands and fathers is the universal prescription of human

societies for the socialization of the male. It is how societies link

male aggression, energy, purpose -- maleness -- to a pro-social

purpose. The most important predictor of criminal behavior is not

race, not income, not religious affiliation. It's a father absence.

It's boys who grow up without their fathers." David Blankenhorn, founder of the Institute for American Values. William Bennett put is succinctly in a 1986 speech on the family in

Chicago when he asked, "Where are the fathers? ... Generally, the

mothers are there struggling. For nine out of ten children in single

parent homes, the father is the one who isn't there. One-fifth of all

American children live in homes without fathers ... Where are the

fathers? Where are the men? Wherever they are, this much is clear:

too many are not with their children. Children at Risk J. Dobson and G. Bauer Word, 1990. Page 167 Studies show that the absence of the father expresses itself in male

children in two very different ways: it is linked to increased

aggressiveness on one hand, and greater manifestations of effeminacy

on the other. A 1987 study of violent rapists found that 60 percent of

them came from single-parent homes. A Michigan State University study

of adolescents who committed homicides found that 75 percent of them

were from broken homes. Girls without fathers fare no better. They

become sexually active sooner and are more likely to have

out-of-wedlock children. Children at Risk, J. Dobson & G. Bauer, Word, 1990, page 167-168

There are little eyes upon you, and they are watching night and day;

There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say; There

are little hands all eager to do everything you do, And a little boy

who's dreaming of the day he'll be like you. You're the little

fellow's idol, you're the wisest of the wise, In his little mind about

you, no suspicions ever rise; He believes in you devoutly, holds that

all you say and do, He will say and do in your way when he's grown up

to be like you. There's a wide-eyed little fellow who believes you're

always right, And his ears are always open and he watches day and

night; You are setting an example every day in all you do, For the

little boy who's waiting to grow up to be like you.

He teaches kindness by being thoughtful and gracious even at home.

He teaches patience by being gentle and understanding over and over.

He teacher honesty by keeping his promises to his family even when it

costs. He teaches courage by living unafraid with faith, in all

circumstances. He teaches justice by being fair and dealing equally with everyone. He teaches obedience to God's Word by precept and example as he reads

and prays daily with his family. He teaches love for God and His Church as he takes his family

regularly to all the services. His steps are important because others follow.