167 Sermon Illustrations on Contentment

Mr. Lincoln earned his first dollar by taking two men and their trunks to a Mississippi steamer which waited for them in midstream.

“I was about eighteen years of age,” he said, “and belonged, as you know, to what they call down South the ‘scrubs.’ I was very glad to have the chance of earning something, and supposed each of the men would give me a couple of bits. I sculled them out to the steamer. They got on board, and I lifted the trunks and put them on the deck. The steamer was about to put on steam again, when I called out, ‘You have forgotten to pay me.’ Each of them took from his pocket a silver half-dollar and threw it on the bottom of my boat.

“You may think it was a very little thing, and in these days it seems to me like a trifle, but it was a most important incident in my life. I could scarcely credit that I, the poor boy, had earned a dollar in less than a day; that by honest work I had earned a dollar. I was a more hopeful and thoughtful boy from that time.”--JAMES MORGAN, “Abraham Lincoln, The Boy and the Man.”

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Booker T. Washington, writing on “Negro Homes” in _The Century_, says:

The first negro home that I remember was a log cabin about fourteen by sixteen feet square. It had a small, narrow door, which hung on rusty, worn-out hinges. The windows were mere openings in the wall, protected by a rickety shutter, which sometimes was closed in winter, but which usually hung dejectedly on uncertain hinges against the walls of the house. Such a thing as a glass window was unknown to this house. There was no floor, or, rather, there was a floor, but it was nothing more than the naked earth. There was only one room, which served as kitchen, parlor and bedroom for a family of five, which consisted of my mother, my elder brother, my sister, myself and the cat. In this cabin we all ate and slept, my mother being the cook on the place. My own bed was a heap of rags on the floor in the corner of the room next to the fireplace. It was not until after the emancipation that I enjoyed for the first time in my life the luxury of sleeping in a bed. It was at times, I suppose, somewhat crowded in those narrow quarters, tho I do not now remember having suffered on that account, especially as the cabin was always pretty thoroughly ventilated, particularly in winter, through the wide openings between the logs in the walls.

Probably there is no single object that so accurately represents and typifies the mental and moral condition of the larger proportion of the members of my race fifty years ago as this same little slave cabin. For the same reason it may be said that the best evidence of the progress which the race has made since emancipation is the character and quality of the homes which they are building for themselves to-day.

When Epictetus was a boy and a slave his angry master twisted his leg in an instrument of torture until it broke.

“Do you think,” he says after he has worked out his philosophy of contentment, “that because my soul happens to have one little lame leg I am to find fault with God’s universe? Ought we not when we dig, and when we plow, and when we eat, to sing this hymn to God, because He hath given us these implements whereby we may till the soil? Great is God because He hath given us hands, and the means of nourishment and food; and insensible growth, and breathing sleep; these things we ought to hymn, because He hath given us the power to appreciate these blessings and continuously to use them. And, since the most of you are blinded, ought there not to be one to fulfil this song for you, and on behalf of all to sing a hymn of happiness to God? And what else can I do, who am a lame old man, except sing praises to God?”

This was the epitaph given him: “Epictetus, a slave maimed in body, a beggar through poverty, and dear unto the immortals.” (Text.)

Mrs. Mary A. Wright, a veteran Sunday-school teacher of New Jersey, relates an odd story of human interest taken from personal observation.

I went to see a beautiful new farmhouse near Fort Wayne, Iowa. A friend who accompanied me explained that the owner, a prosperous ranchman, had been forty years building it. He had started life in a small home of logs--but in his early days had dreamed of a larger and better home for himself and family. Every tree he saw that struck his fancy he cut down and hewed into lumber so that when he was finally ready to erect his mansion he had all the seasoned material at hand. The new home was at last completed and beautifully finished upon the interior in polished natural woods. There were soft carpets for the floors, and rich furnishings; a bath-room, steam heat, and other modern conveniences.

That was several years before my visit, but I learned that, altho surrounded by all of this luxury, the farmer and his family lived in the basement. He had spent the best years of his life striving to build such a beautiful home, but, after getting it, he thought it too good to use and the family kept it to look at. The farmer and his family washed at the old pump in the yard while the costly tiled bath-room, with hot and cold water equipment, stood idle. They drank out of tin cups and ate off of cracked earthenware in their humble abode in the basement, while fine cut-glass and delicate china pieces reposed undisturbed in china-closets in the elegantly furnished dining-room up-stairs.

All the members of the family entered into the spirit of “keeping the house looking nice,” and they kept it so nice that the wife and mother who had worn out her life in helping to secure the luxuries that she afterward thought too good to enjoy, begged to be allowed to die on a straw mattress in the cellar rather than muss the clean linen in the bed-chambers above.

How much that is like some people. They are living in life’s basement, carefully cherishing the higher and nobler things to look at and show their friends, when they might experience life’s fullest joys and privileges for the choosing.

The world is much what we make it.

The “man with the muckrake” hated his work, and with good reason. “How sweet is the smell of those pine boards!” said a lady to her friend as they were walking near the river in Chicago. “Pine boards,” he exclaimed; “just smell that foul river!” “No, thank you,” she answered, “I prefer to smell pine boards.”--FRANKLIN NOBLE, “Sermons in Illustration.”

A few years ago in a certain part of England the weather was so continuously beastly--that’s the term they used--that at last, wearying of looking at the barometers day after day, week in and week out, the entire inhabitants of a certain seaport town, in sheer disgust, gathered up their weather-glasses and dumped them into the old junk shops. Both the weather and the barometers flooded them with disagreeable suggestions. They could not do away with the weather, but they could with their barometers that seemed to serve no better purpose than to accentuate their discontent.

— ROBERT MACDONALD

A man who gets a million wants another million. If he gets ten millions then he wants to be as rich as Rockefeller. And then he wants the whole world fenced in and fixt up for him. What if a man is as rich as Rockefeller? What is that compared with the State of New York? And suppose a man owned the whole State of New York, what is that compared with the balance of America? And suppose one man owned the whole United States, what is that compared with the balance of the world? And suppose a man owned this whole world? Why, you could put two such worlds in your pocket, and go out to the dog star and stay all night, and you wouldn’t have enough to pay your hotel bill. This whole thing is comparative.--“Popular Lectures of Sam P. Jones.”

“Most folks don’t mean to exaggerate — they just remember big.” — Ann Landers

Are you a joy plant? What do I mean? Joy is something that grows from within. It does need to depend on outward circumstances. It has to be cultivated and nourished, and that needs a right attitude.

Paul said in Phil. 4:11 (NIV). “… I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” That’s a description of joy! Joy doesn’t depend on a “high” or an abundance of “things” or a hilarious time or jocular conversation — it is inner contentment. You have to work at it with the help of God. For the Christian, it starts with a right relationship with the Father through faith in Jesus Christ. When we have inner peace because we know that God really loves us, then we have a good foundation for developing an attitude that culminates in joy.

Someone is saying, “But you don’t know my situation.” You are right. You may be bearing a burden that has you looking up to see the bottom. But, in spite of all the problems of life, I believe a true child of God can cling to all the Father’s promises and find inner contentment that means inner joy. I believe that we can learn to say with Paul, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” You’ll notice he said “learned.” Learning is an ongoing process.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #6434]

Some secrets on how to have a successful family:

I. The secret of Contentment.

A. Don't fall into the "if only" trap.

B. Feasting doesn't produce happiness.

C. Give your kids time instead of toys.

II. The secret of Merriment.

A. Develop a family with a sense of fun.

B. Parental Grump Cycle.

1) Don't bring work problems home.

2) Establish a family fun night.

III. The secret of Service.

A. World says sex is key to love.

B. Bible says commitment is key to love.

1) We can fall back into love by serving our spouse.

2) Fixing breakfast for the family.

Do you ever get impatient? Ever find yourself frustrated by the way things are going -- or not going? Ever feel dissatisfied with your circumstances and wish they were better? Ever feel there’s not enough time in the day? Not enough energy to do it all? Not enough money at month’s end? Not enough of you to go around? If so, then welcome to the club. The club of discontented people.

For many of us, impatience, frustration, and dissatisfaction are part of our daily routines. We want control, so we demand that our surroundings adjust to us, rather than vice versa. What we don’t like, we change. We change the channel. We change jobs. We change churches. We change friends. We know we “should” be content, but we’re not. We think that if our circumstances change (for the better, of course) then we will be satisfied and content. Then we will have enough.

Contentment, I’m learning, is a state of the heart, not a state of affairs. It is available to everyone -- no matter what the circumstances.

Paul deals head on with the topic of contentment in Phil. 4:11-13. Let’s look at the key phrases in this passage.

“FOR I HAVE LEARNED...”

Contentment is learned. It isn’t natural. We’re not born with it. Our tendency is to look for things that will make us content, rather than putting forth the discipline it takes to learn how to be content. The first time we took our kids skiing, my one daughter made it clear that she didn’t want to “learn.” She just wanted to ski like the rest of the people on the slope. Skiing isn’t like that, and neither is life. It takes willingness and effort to learn anything. We can’t just wish things into existence. Contentment is no different. It, too, must be learned.

“TO BE CONTENT...”

Contentment is internal. It’s being satisfied, having an ease of mind. Contentment means detachment from anxious concerns over the externals of life. It’s a calm acceptance of whatever life brings -- an attitude of “it’s okay.” The person who is content has internal sufficiency regardless of outward circumstances. Paul, even with his hands in chains, accommodated himself to his situation.

In their book Life 101, John-Roger and Peter McWilliams state it this way: “Until we truly accept everything, we cannot see clearly.” They go on to explain that accepting is not condoning, giving consent, agreeing with, or even liking what is. Acceptance is an internal conclusion that the way things are is the way things are. That these exact circumstances are allowed by God and, right now, it’s enough.

Several years ago I was directing a winter program for The Navigators’ Eagle Lake Camp. The plan for the day was to cross-country ski to a place called Kite Lake. It was supposed to be a pleasant trek, with nice snow and nice weather. What we experienced was Antarctica! The route was icy and rocky. The weather was frigid, with blowing snow. As the guide, I was upset and disappointed. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I remained stuck in my misery until a camper smiled and said, “You know, it just doesn’t get any better than this!” My tension broke and I laughed. My focus shifted from what wasn’t going right to an internal voice that said, “It’s okay. This is a real adventure!” The weather hadn’t changed, our food was still frozen, but I accepted the circumstances and was able to relax. I was amazed at the sense of contentment I enjoyed for the rest of the day.

“WHATEVER THE CIRCUMSTANCES...”

Contentment is surrender. Paul could be content, he could be patient, because he had given up any right or demand on the people and circumstances around him. For us, when life goes wrong, our impatience shouts, “It’s not my way, not my timing, not my outcome!” Contentment, on the other hand, holds out open hands before a holy God and says, “God, Your way, Your timing, Your outcome.”

But surrender cuts against our grain. We want control, choice, and to be treated fairly. The paradox is this: Contentment is gained only when we give up control and accept whatever comes. Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist who survived the Nazi concentration camps of World War II, put it like this: “The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the sufferings it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity -- even under the most difficult circumstances -- to add a deeper meaning to life.”

The notion of surrender first began its journey into my heart many years ago on a train trip back from Mexico City. The train derailed. As I waited for it to be fixed, I began to worry about my wife, who was supposed to meet me at the station on the Mexico-Arizona border. I was more than 12 hours late, and she was alone. I felt helpless -- I could do absolutely nothing to keep her safe. I couldn’t even contact her. It was then that God’s truth whispered in my ear, “Give up trying to control the circumstances, Tim. Let Me be the One in control. Surrender.” I had no choice. I had to surrender her safety into God’s hands alone. At that moment I felt at peace. I had begun my journey of surrender.

Since that time, other difficult circumstances have come into my life, but the conversation has remained similar. Time and again I hear God’s voice saying, “Tim, let Me be in control. Surrender. Accept My way, My timing, My outcome. Trust Me alone.” Continued surrender comes more easily when I sit silently before God and let Him do the talking.

“THE SECRET...”

Paul was familiar with need. He was familiar with plenty. They were his “friends,” that’s how well he knew them. He was intimately aware of what it was like to be well fed and to be hungry. He also knew what it was like to be beaten, stoned, hunted, shipwrecked, and imprisoned. But something internal sustained him through life’s ebb and flow. He had learned something during his rough-and-tumble life that allowed him to have peace. What he found was not easily understood, then or now. It was hidden from the casual observer -- he calls it a secret. Like Paul, we can be content wherever we find ourselves if we know the same secret -- a secret found when we make these three truths an active part of our daily walk.

1. Remember the cross. “For to me, to live is Christ” (Phil. 1:21). The cornerstone of contentment is the cross. Remember what it has done in your life. Because of the cross you are freed from the chains of sin. Because of the cross, your salvation is secure. Because of the cross, your friendship with God is open. Because of the cross, your future is heaven. Isn’t that enough? What else really matters? The really big things of your life are taken care of!

Much of my time as a Christian counselor is spent sharing these truths with my clients. God has extended grace and mercy to anyone who will believe. That grace is enough! Do you need to be afraid of others’ opinions of you? No. Do you need to defend yourself after being defrauded by a friend? No. Will it hurt? Probably. “The Lord is my light and my salvation -- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?” (Ps. 27:1).

Do I need to get an ulcer over my financial uncertainties? Ouch! God always hits close to home, but the answer is still no. I remind myself of these truths every time I can. I write scriptures in my journal as a visual reminder to myself. I picture myself kneeling beside the cross every time I pray.

Contentment comes when we believe (not just pretend) that nothing else matters. That can happen only as we “turn our eyes upon Jesus” and let “the things of earth grow strangely dim.” Everything looks important until we place it next to the cross. Then, only the cross remains important.

2. Let go of the past. “Forgetting what is behind...” (Phil. 3:13). We cannot hope to ever gain contentment while holding on to past failures and mistakes -- ours or others’. There’s a difference between ignoring past wrongs and forgetting them. Forgetting means that you work through the process of forgiving others and allowing God’s forgiveness to cover you. We need to let go of “I should have” or “If only” or “If they hadn’t.”

True forgiveness requires that we see the wrongs clearly (sometimes the hardest part of the process), articulate them, release them to God, and then walk away from them. This process may take a moment, a month, or even longer. It may require the assistance of a friend, pastor, or professional counselor. Don’t put it off. Without forgiveness you will never have a contented heart.

3. Take one day at a time. “And my God will meet all your needs...” (Phil. 4:19). The final element of Paul’s secret is to wait on God. We need to surrender our timetable and future to Him.

Anxiety builds inside our minds when we look into the future, when we try to manage more days than today. Let me illustrate. I enjoy rock climbing. When I’m climbing, I’m not afraid of climbing. I’m afraid of falling, which is in the future -- and may or may not happen. If I fall -- and while I’m falling -- I’m not afraid of the fall (it’s a rush!), I’m afraid of the stop at the bottom. This time it’s a guaranteed future, but still in the future. I will stop, but what kind of stop is still unknown. Will I hit the ground or will the rope catch me first? I don’t know ... yet. You see, if I’m going to climb well, I must keep my focus on the present moment only. If I allow my thinking to wander to “Oh no, what if I fall?” I only increase my chances of disaster.

Likewise, contentment requires our focus to be in the present. Much of our frustration, tension, and worry would be dissolved if we would practice the words of Jesus: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Mt. 6:34). We must live one day at a time, one moment at a time.

“I CAN DO EVERYTHING...”

If we have learned this kind of contentment, we can “do” hunger, adversity, disappointment, and hardship. We can “do” plenty, comfort, and success. It’s an attitude of the heart.

When it is time for action, we act out of obedience to God, not out of a need to control or change our surroundings. We act with confidence because we don’t need to worry about the outcome. We’ve already put that in God’s hands, and He can do with it what He wills. Regardless of what we do, win or lose, we remain content, whatever the circumstances (see Heb. 11:39). How can we do this?

“THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH.”

There’s no breath between these last two phrases. The sentence literally reads, “All things I can do in the (One) empowering me, Christ.” The punch line of the entire thought is Christ. When His powerful presence is consuming us, we can do all things. Though our humanity may falter, our souls remain unshakable through the living power that’s a result of total abandonment to Him. Without surrender to Christ’s control, we can do nothing of lasting value (Jn. 15:5). There must come a holocaust to our will. Otherwise the pain, failure, injustice, and suffering that comes with this life will destroy us. We may still look good outwardly, but our souls secretly become inebriated with bitterness, doubt, and a need to pretend. My human determination helped me endure the wind, ice, and frozen food of that ski trip. My emotional toughness will get me through my present job loss. But only Christ can generate a contented spirit in me amidst it all.

I am continually moved by the old hymn “It Is Well with My Soul,” written by Horatio G. Spafford. He penned these words as he looked out over the same waters where, just a few weeks earlier, his four daughters had drowned during a transAtlantic voyage.

When sorrows like sea-billows roll;

Whatever my lot,

Thou hast taught me to say,

“It is well, it is well with my soul.”

I love my two daughters dearly. Could I write these words? Could I surrender my heart to God’s way, God’s timing, God’s outcome? Could I tell God with an honest face, “It’s okay, I accept, I have enough”? My eyes tear as I write this. But back to the present. The hospital where I’ve been working “reorganized,” and I’m out of a job right now. I’m having to surrender my financial security to God today. I’m challenged to believe that “whatever my lot” I have enough right now. I’m learning to take a deep breath and say, “It’s okay” (even when I don’t have to look good for anyone). Having things well with my checkbook is not a prerequisite to having things well with my soul.

The Apostle Paul knew injustice and hard times. Frankl knew pain and suffering. Spafford knew sorrow and loss. Yet in the midst of chaos they also knew contentment. How about you? Is life giving you enough? Or do you think you need more?

When both your mind and soul are surrendered to the sovereign Lord of the Universe, you can do -- and accept -- all things that He allows into your life. You can learn the secret of being content, whatever the circumstances. The cross can be all that matters to you. Your heart can begin to whisper, “It is well with my soul” and live like it. It’s not an easy road, but through Christ we have the strength to take that journey -- the only journey that will bring true contentment and peace.

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TIM SANFORD is a psychotherapist in private practice. He also works with adolescents at Rapha Christian Psychiatric Hospital in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Tim and his wife, Becky, also assist with an InterVarsity chapter at the United States Air Force Academy.

[See #4240 for quiz on contentment from this article]

One of the truest insights you can have into your own character revolves around the following declaration: I’m happy for you!

Politeness and good social form periodically dictate the statement. A colleague at work gets a promotion and raise. A friend announces his engagement. An acquaintance graduates from college, shows you her new car, or moves into a new house. Or you watch a total stranger win the big prize on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” What is the tactful response? I’m happy for you!

The trick isn’t in saying it, but in genuinely meaning it. The person who says it and means it has a generous spirit. The person who says it and can’t mean it is being squeezed in the vise of envy and jealousy. Which sort are you?

In the community of God, this is to be the operative rule: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Compassion toward someone in trouble seems to be easier than authentic joy over another’s good fortune. The former at least allows us to feel secure, if not superior.

If it ever feels good to you that someone else has crashed and burned, you have a covetous heart and a cruel spirit. Worry about yourself. And pray for God to give you the power to get outside your too-egocentric world of resentment.

A man was jealous of an associate at his firm who moved into a new house much larger than his own. So he called a real estate agent, had his house listed for sale, and began searching for a nicer place. The very next day his eye was drawn to a listing that seemed to be everything he could want in a place. So he called his agent to schedule an appointment for him to see it. He got the shock of his life when the agent said, “Why that’s your present house!”

We often have just what we need and simply can’t recognize it. The task of keeping up, moving ahead, or achieving status creates envy. Envy creates the next round of cutthroat competition. And conflict destroys personal peace.

No less than the Apostle Paul admitted having to struggle against the sin of covetousness. Most of us are infected with the same spirit and have to struggle against envy and the competitive spirit it generates.

Pay attention this week to the good things you enjoy and the opportunities you have by virtue of the skills God has entrusted to you. Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your situation with someone else’s. Above all, when you learn of another’s good fortune, tell him you’re happy for him — and mean it.

Jesus was saving their 20-year marriage in a far greater way than they ever dreamed possible.

She was in deep depression, thinking at times about suicide, even though she had become a Christian at the tender age of 12.

He was a psychology professor whose mind, inexplicably, started going blank in front of his classes. He had become a Christian 13 years earlier, at the age of 29, and yet his faith hadn't lessened how harshly he treated his wife.

Waking up each morning she thought to herself, "Dear God, I cannot face this day." There was no joy, no fulfillment in her faith. For years she had tried to make her marriage work. If anybody could make it work, she had believed, it was her. She had been her high school's valedictorian and voted in college the most popular girl on campus. Her self-esteem had been built on how well she could tackle any challenge.

Even so, her marriage hadn't worked, and she had no hope that it ever would.

He had been critical of her homemaking -- failing to acknowledge even her gestures of love -- from the outset of their marriage.

"What a guy," Bill Gillham sometimes moans of how he treated his wife, Anabel, for, yes, 20 years and, yes, for the 13 years after he had become a Christian and had developed a reputation, everywhere but behind the doors of his home, for helping others find faith in Christ.

Then came the changes that turned the Gillhams from their destructive ways and began shaping them into marriage retreat leaders and co-authors committed to helping people move from their marital -- and spiritual -- wildernesses to fullness in Christ -- and do so far more quickly, hopefully, than the 20 years it took them.

"I think that time gap can be telescoped by good, sound teaching -- good, sound discipleship that this is the normal Christian life," said Bill, whose outreach with Anabel, Lifetime Guarantee Ministries, is based in Fort Worth, Texas.

"For years, Anabel and I focused on but one facet of what Jesus Christ had accomplished for us, the forgiveness of our sins," Bill said. "Wonderful as our blessed forgiveness is, living on earth is far more complex than being forgiven."

Even after becoming a deeply committed Christian, Bill said, "Anabel found very little comfort in knowing that I was forgiven." She still faced the pattern of criticism and ridicule that Bill had brought to the marriage at its outset. "What she needed was her husband to understand how to trust Christ to live through him to treat her with the tenderness she needed and deserved."

In the midst of their respective agonies, Bill recounted, "The Holy Spirit showed us that Jesus accomplished two additional miracles for us:"

-- Everyone who has embraced Jesus as Lord and Savior has "undergone a

change in his spiritual identity from sinner to saint." The new

birth gives each believer "a new identity -- your true identity now

and throughout all eternity."

-- Each believer has "received a new kind of life altogether -- Christ as

life -- to replace our former life. Christ now desires to express

his life through us, instead of our trying to follow in his steps in

our own strength."

"It's such a simple truth," Anabel said, "verbalized to us at salvation in the simplest way: 'Would you like to ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart?' And we say, 'Yes, I would.' But then we aren't taught what happens now that Jesus Christ has come into our lives. He has come into us to empower us to live the Christian life.

"There is an answer for the marriage that has no life," Anabel continued. "There is an answer for the marriage that is just existing or one in which the husband and wife are constantly sparring.

"And that answer is to realize that you, now, can be the healing agent in your marriage as you allow Christ to live through you."

For Bill, the first inkling of these spiritual truths came in his career.

"It was through a failure in my job. I had just gotten my doctorate from Oklahoma State University and had become a university psychology professor. And this is where God allowed the evil one to -- I think it was all supernatural, choreographed to bring me to the end of my strength -- just go blank in front of my classes.

"It didn't happen every day, but it happened often enough that I was paranoid about going to class. I would go blank. My notes would not make sense to me. There was just a deathly silence in the classroom as I was up there struggling. My face turned red as a stoplight."

The crisis prompted Bill to cry out to God. "I'd go into my office and shut the door and lock it and just cry out to God, 'Help!' And through that terrible, personal failure is how he began to give me a peek through the keyhole of Christ as life.

"As I began to understand this, that Christ wanted to teach psychology through me, using me, using my body, using my personality, using my knowledge of psychology -- to express life through me by faith -- then I claimed that in a time of prayer.

"And then I did a critically important thing. I didn't sit there and wait until I felt differently. I got up off my knees and started toward the university. I was tentative, I was scared, I was afraid it wouldn't work, I felt insecure, I thought I was just being a phony, just faking it, but I had no alternative and I just kept pushing on.

"And it began to work."

For Anabel, her crushed hopes for a good marriage were the soil in which deeper spiritual truth sprouted.

She had been a lifelong "performer," with an attitude in the face of life's challenges that had always been, "I think I can; I'll certainly try; I'll give it my best shot."

"I was performing, not for a group of people, but for Bill. I wanted his praise. I wanted his approval of my performance in the marriage. He wasn't giving that to me, and I finally realized he was never going to give it to me. I had to come to the end of my strength to even be ready to listen to an answer. I had to come to the horrible realization that I couldn't do it."

Sobbing in bed one night, she came to "the complete end," admitting to the Lord, "God, I don't understand what is going on in my life. My marriage is so far from what I long for it to be and what I know you intended it to be. My kids are not turning out the way I want them to, and Lord, I am so tired. I'm weary. I've given and given and given, and I just don't think I can give anymore.

"I've tried and tried, and I give up."

And, while it wasn't in an audible voice, she sensed the Lord's compassion, "Thank you, Anabel," followed by his promise, "I'll do it all for you."

"That night, I began walking in that truth. I'd fall at times, but I'd realize, just like Bill, what option do I have? I'd tried everything my way, and my way didn't work. So I've got to try his way. And his way brought me through."

Somehow, Bill and Anabel remained unaware of each other's spiritual discovery. "Bill and I fell into that category of not communicating," Anabel said. "I didn't communicate because I had been hurt so many times. And Bill just was not a communicator. And so, we just didn't talk about it."

Then, several years later, Bill and Anabel were asked to lead a marriage seminar, after Bill had become director of a Christian counseling center in Missouri and Anabel was utilizing the truths in discipling some women.

"She put her notes on marriage together, and I put my notes together on articulating Christ as life and who we are in Christ, and we married the two together into a seminar.

"And that was just all the direction of the Holy Spirit," Bill said. "We didn't even realize it. Hardly anyone else was talking about it. None of our friends knew anything about this kind of a walk. And yet, the way we teach today is still very similar to what we taught in our first seminar back in '75."

"Every phase of our married life," Anabel said, "involves the belief that Christ through me is going to make this the experience that my husband needs, that my wife needs. The cry of people today, I believe, is: 'You're a Christian? Well, show me that you have something that I need. Your marriage is just like mine. What's the difference?' There is something that can make a gigantic, marvelous difference in a marriage, in a life, in a single person's life, not just a marriage, but in a life. And that is to realize Christians are accepted and beloved by God and we have a power living within us, Jesus Christ, to meet the circumstances of life."

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This article was first published in HomeLife, the family magazine of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention

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Former Under Secretary of the Interior John C. Whitaker is reminded of how easy it is to get an out-of-perspective feeling about one's importance in government whenever he thinks of an 85-year-old woman who has lived her life in one spot in Nova Scotia. The population there swells to nine in summer and stays steady at two during the winter. Whitaker, who has been fishing there every year since he was 12, flew in one day. Miss Mildred welcomed him into her kitchen and said, "Johnny, I hate to admit I don't know, but where is Washington?" When Whitaker realized that she wasn't kidding, he explained: "That's where the President is. That's like where you have the Prime Minister in Ottawa." Then she asked how many people lived there, and Whitaker said there were about two million. She said, "Think of that, two million people living so far away from everything." From the Reader's Digest, May 1975, attributed to the Fairbanks, Alaska, News-Miner.

A 1995 Gallup poll found that the percentage of American families who earn less than $15,000 and feel they have achieved the American dream is 13%. This is not a surprising fact. A family of four earning less than $15,000 a year is barely above the poverty level. Do you know what the percentage was for families who earned more than $50,000? Only 14% of families who earned $50,000 or more said they had achieved the American dream!

That is one reason Paul's words are so difficult to grasp: I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. (Philippians 4:11 NIV) How could he say that? He had already told those people that he was in prison (1:7), that he preferred to be with God (1:23), he was trying to get his priorities straight (3:1-11), he had not reached his goals (3:12-14). Yet in this last chapter of his letter he says, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."

I think the way Paul has managed to arrive at this stage of contentment came from what he said just prior to this passage:

First, be at peace with people. Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends! I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. (1-3) When we are at odds with someone, it is tough to be at peace. . . it is tough to be content.

Second, do your best to find joy in all that you do. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (4) Sometimes you have to look for it, but it's there. It's worth the look.

Third, focus on the Lord's presence and practice gentleness. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. (5) The more you focus on Him, the more evident your gentleness will become.

Fourth, let God handle your life. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (6,7) He is a specialist in dealing with people like you.

Fifth, be careful what you think. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (8) What we think, and how we think does make a difference in how we live.

Sixth, have a good role model. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (9) It is amazing what a difference it makes when we have someone we can look to, someone we can look at, someone we can touch.

Notice that Paul said, "I have learned to be content." It doesn't happen all at once. I suggest he learned it by following those six steps. He learned it by having "the mind of Christ" (Chapter 2). He learned it by going through the struggles and staying focused on God.

Need a little help feeling content? Finding yourself with a list of wants that is twice as long as your list of needs? Doing more wishing and less living? Give Paul's letter another reading. Then, read it again. Then, read it again. If you stay with it, one day you and I can also say, "I have learned to be content."

The Ideal State

Give me a good digestion Lord,

and something to digest;

Give me a healthy body Lord,

and sense to keep it at its best;

Give me a healthy mind, O Lord,

to keep the good and pure in sight,

which seeing sin, is not appalled,

but finds a way to set it right.

Give me a mind that is not bored,

that does not whimper, whine or sigh;

Don't let me worry overmuch

about that fussy thing called "I";

Give me a sense of humor, Lord -

give me the grace to see a joke,

To get some happiness in life

and pass it on to other folk.

(It's chiseled in a wall of Chester

Cathedral, England)

A new movie starring Robin Williams, “What Dreams May Come” is all about going to heaven. But before Christians start flooding movie theaters, remember that Hollywood's idea about heaven may be very different from ours. Generally heaven is depicted as the culmination of our dreams of ultimate happiness. Understandable, I suppose, for Hollywood, since happiness is supposed to be everyone's goal. But not only does Hollywood have a wrong view of heaven; it's also got a distorted view of happiness.

Williams plays a character who dies and goes to heaven -- only to find that it looks exactly like a 3-D version of a painting done by his artist wife. The idea is that eternal bliss is being near our loved ones -- or next best thing. In Williams's case, it means living in a landscape his wife has painted while he waits for her to come to heaven. But more importantly, Williams's heaven is a creation of his own will. When he notices a bird painted in the sky above his head, Williams asks his spiritual guide why it's not moving. The guide says it's completely up to him; if he wants it to, it will fly. So Williams wills the bird to life, and it begins to fly wherever he wants it to go.

The underlying theme is that ultimate happiness is being able to control reality, to have all our wishes and desires fulfilled.

Well, this may well reflect the contemporary view of happiness, but it falls woefully short of the historic view.

Deal Hudson, editor of “Crisis” magazine, writes that the classical idea of happiness had to do with a state of character and virtue. The ancient Greek word for happiness meant the formation of character over a lifetime. It referred to how well we conformed ourselves to reality: that is, the structure of the universe around us, and our own nature. Only by learning to live in accord with our true nature can we be genuinely happy.

This is the sense of happiness the Founding Fathers had in mind when they talked about the inalienable right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” They meant we have a right to practice the virtues that ultimately lead to true happiness. That was the ancient Greek understanding, and it was also the Christian understanding.

Today, Hudson writes, “the word happiness [has been] stripped of its moral meaning.” The modern understanding has more to do with feeling good and getting what we want.

In “The Abolition of Man,” C. S. Lewis says, “For the wise men of old, the cardinal problem had been how to conform the soul to reality. And the solution has been knowledge, self-discipline, and virtue.” But for the contemporary mindset “the problem is how to subdue reality to the wishes of man.” Lewis had it right!

The truth is that we are not the creators of reality, God is. And the more we try to create our own Reality, the unhappier we become. But the more we live in harmony with the objective reality God has created, the happier we will be.

Williams's movies are usually hits and widely discussed. If your friends start talking about this film, use it as an apologetic opportunity. Heaven is not the happiness of having our own way. And anyone who has tried the self-indulgent, hedonistic lifestyle has discovered the only real happiness is finding peace through Him who conforms us to the moral order He has created.

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(c) 1998 Prison Fellowship Ministries Copyright notice: We encourage liberal distribution of these transcripts through email and print. Please do not post on the world wide web or use this content for profit.

Money can buy medicine, but not health.

Money can buy a house, but not a home.

Money can buy companionship, but not friends.

Money can buy entertainment, but not happiness.

Money can buy food, but not an appetite.

Money can buy a bed, but not sleep.

Money can buy a crucifix, but not a Savior.

Money can buy the good life, but not eternal life.

That explains why we are told in this section of the Scriptures that it is God (alone) who is able to supply us "with all things to enjoy." As Seneca, the Roman statesman once said: "Money has never yet made anyone rich." --Charles Swindoll

“How To Be Happy”

1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.

3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.

4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.

5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.

6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.

7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.

8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.

9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.

10. Don't hold post-mortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.

11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.

12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.

______________

Robert Louis Stevenson

*

It was a stifling evening. The asphalt pavement breathed out all

the gathered heat and irritation of the day, and a group of eager city

dwellers stood on the corner to take the car that would bear them into

a better atmosphere. In they crowded till there was left only an

undesirable end seat whose occupants must ride backward. A plain old

man and his wife slipped into it.

"This is most as good as the other seats, ain't it?" chirped the

wife after a few moments.

"Better," responded her husband promptly, "you don't get the gnats

in your eyes this way."

On went the car with its full complement of passengers, but none of

them looked so happy or so content as the couple who faced away from

the gnats. They were old, their faces were worn and wrinkled, and

their possessions were evidently few. After a time the car stopped and

some better seats became empty. The old man and the old woman stepped

into them.

"Ain't we lucky." exclaimed the wife as they did so, and Her

husband beamed assent. They had been observed, and their divine

content and cheerfulness had taught its lesson. "What a beautiful

world if we were all like you," muttered a fellow-passenger as he got

down. -- J. W. C.

By J. Wilbur Chapan, "Present Day Parables."

A gentleman had a board put up on a part of his land on which was

written: "I will give this field to one who is really contented. When

an applicant came, he asked, "Are you contented?" The general answer

was, "I am," and his reply invariably was: "Then what do you want with

my field." --Dictionary Of Illustrations

Larry Mize is a successful profession golfer . . . In spite of all

this athletic success, Larry says, "The only thing that gives me true

contentment is knowing Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior." Larry

became a Christian as a child, but it was after his first child was

born that he realized the importance of letting God control all areas

of his life. He says, "If my job or my performance is what makes me

significant, then my life will be like a roller coaster. If I play

well, I'll be very happy. If I play bad, I'll be very upset. I won't

be happy until I play good again. I don't want to live like that, and

thankfully, I don't have to. We have infinite worth because God sent

His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us."

- {Religious Herald, }April 14, 1994, p.8

You don’t become happy by pursuing happiness. It is always a by-product, never a primary goal. Happiness is a butterfly - the more you chase it, the more it flies away from you and hides. But stop chasing it, put away your net and busy yourself with other, more productive things than the pursuit of personal happiness, and it will sneak up on you from behind and perch on your shoulder.

________

Harold Kushner, When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough (New York: Simon and Shuster, 1986), 23.

I've never made a fortune,

And I'll never make one now.

But it really doesn't matter,

'cause I'm happy anyhow

I go along my journey,

Reaping better than I've sowed.

I'm drinking from the saucer

'cause my cup has overflowed!

I don't have many riches,

And sometimes the going's tough.

But while my kids still love me,

I think I'm rich enough.

I'll thank God for His blessings,

The mercy He's bestowed.

I'm drinking from the saucer

'cause my cup has overflowed!

Grant me the strength and courage

When the road grows very rough.

I'll not ask for other blessings;

I'm already blessed enough.

May I never be too busy

To help bear another's load.

I'm drinking from the saucer

'cause my cup has overflowed!

.............Author Unknown, from Glad Tidings, 20 Aug 1998

Philippians 4:8

"That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest."

-- Henry David Thoreau, Quotes From The Masters (QFTM) 7/10/02