Happiness in Christian preaching often relates to the deep joy and contentment found in God's presence and promises, distinct from mere worldly pleasure. Illustrations typically contrast fleeting human opinions with enduring spiritual fulfillment, reflecting themes of joy and blessedness as seen in scriptures like Psalm 16:11 and Philippians 4:4.
Many philosophers have differing opinions on what constitutes true happiness.
Varro reckons up two hundred and eighty different opinions of what constitutes happiness. Lucian gives a long catalogue of the ideas of philosophers, and refutes them all.
Colson visits Disney World and Epcot with grandson. Notices people are not happy. "The crowds seemed to be rushing from amusement to amusement, feverishly checking off attractions seen against those still to be seen. One ... mother barking at her husband, 'Awright! Now how many more to go?'" Reminds him of young woman profiled in Psychology Today. Counseled to give up the endless round of parties, drugs, sex, and alcohol that was driving her into despair, she gasped to her psychiatrist, "You mean I don't have to do everything I want to do?" It's a mistaken notion that multiplying pleasures produces happiness.
Colson also noticed absence of spiritual reference, especially at Epcot. Life presented as just appearing on new earth. Closest thing to spirituality is 3-D Michael Jackson movie where his music supernaturally transforms both the evil spider and her henchmen into agents of light. Recent statement by Jackson: "I was sent forth for the world, for the children. But have mercy, for I've been bleeding for a long time now."
"The Magic Kingdom, glorious as it is, is but a toy that mirrors this broken world. It ignores, even obscures, the ultimate reality - the enduring kingdom where God, not humankind, reigns."
Russian writer Alexander Solzhenitsyn has one of the characters in prison
say, "The happiness of incessant victory, the happiness of fulfilled desire,
the happiness of success, and total satiety - THAT is suffering! That is
spiritual death.... [People] waste themselves in senseless thrashing around
for the sake of a handful of goods and die without realizing their spiritual
wealth.... It is not our level of prosperity that makes for happiness, but
the kinship of heart to heart, and the way we look at the world."
Alexander Solzhenitsyn, "The First Circle," (NY: Harper & Row, 1968), p. 34.
#3247
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“Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances.”
-- J. Donald Walters
“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.”
-- William Makepeace Thackeray
"Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought: Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks."
-- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), writer and lexicographer, B&P 3/25/03
"Happiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally. Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us on a wild-goose chase, and is never attained. Follow some other object, and very possibly we may find that we have caught happiness without dreaming of it."
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864), Writer, B&P
"Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of others, but from doing something worthwhile."
-- Wilfred Grenfell (1865 - 1940), English medical missionary, B&P
"Joy has nothing to do with material things, or with a man's outward circumstance ... A man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched, and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy."
-- William Barclay (1907 - 1978), clergyman and writer, B&P
"Happiness is not a state to arrive at but, rather, a manner of traveling."
-- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), essayist and lexicographer, B&P
"One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness - simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self-denial to a point, love of work, and above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel certain."
-- George Sand (1804 - 1876), writer, cited in BITS & PIECES
"Your unhappiness is not due to your want of a fortune or high position or fame or sufficient vitamins. It is due not to a want of something outside of you, but to a want of something inside you. You were made for perfect happiness. No wonder everything short of God disappoints you."
-- Fulton Sheen, Catholic Bishop, QFTM 8/13/02
"The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so."
-- William Ralph Inge (1860-1954), clergyman, B&P 5/2/03
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet."
-- James Oppenheim, "Instant Quotation Dictionary,", p. 153.
"Happiness is the harvest of a quiet eye."
-- Austin O'Malley, "Instant Quotation Dictionary," p. 153.
"The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one has to do."
-- James M. Barrie (also attributed to King George V)
"Success is getting what you want; Happiness is wanting what you get.
-- Dale Carnegie
"If happiness could be bought, we'd be unhappy with the price."
-- (unknown)
"The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what interests you and that you can do well, and put your whole soul into it - every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have."
-- John D. Rockefeller, III, QFTM 2/14/04
"I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances."
-- Martha Washington, QFTM 2/14/04
"You can multiply happiness by dividing it."
-- Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECES
"The opposite of joy is not sorrow. It is disobedience."
-- Leslie Weatherhead
Joy is like an oasis that refreshes our soul. A brief definition: “Joy is the sense of delight that arises within us in the presence of someone or something we love.” To put it another way, joy is a response rather than a state of being. It depends, not on our acquisition of something, but rather on our encounter with something. Happiness possesses, joy appreciates; happiness grasps, joy beholds. As theologian Karl Barth once observed, “Joy is really the simplest form of gratitude.” Many times in the Bible, joy is the sense of delight arising in people in the presence of someone or something they love.
The great and ultimate joy is what the Bible calls “the wedding supper of the Lamb.” Because beauty is the source of joy, our ultimate Joy must arise from our delight in the beauty of God, in the attractiveness of His goodness and holiness. As Jonathan Edwards reminded us, “All the beauty to be found throughout the whole creation, is but the reflection of the diffused beams of that Being who hath an infinite fullness of brightness and glory.”
Just as being eternally united to God’s perfect goodness is the ultimate end of human happiness, being eternally united to God’s perfect beauty is the ultimate end of human joy. For that reason, even now, when we catch a glimpse of God, we experience joy as a token, a pledge, of our final encounter face-to-face.
"The goal of our life should not be to find joy in marriage, but to bring more love and truth into the world. We marry to assist each other in this task. The most selfish and hateful life of all is that of two beings who unite in order to enjoy life. The highest calling is that of the man who has dedicated his life to serving God and doing good, and who unites with a woman in order to further that purpose."
-- Leo Tolstoy, in a letter to his son
"Religion, it seems, is no longer a search for meaning or truth nor a way to find salvation or forgiveness. It is a means to be happy, to improve your self-image.... I am skeptical of formulas that equate God's goodness or power or existence with my level of happiness.... I'm not saying God doesn't want us to be happy. I'm saying that, in the biblical record at least, nearness to God rarely looks like what we would consider happiness. Christ seems less concerned that we are happy than that we are His."
Don’t Worry, Be Happy” song has brought about a backlash. Popular button in NYC is a Smiley Face with a bullet hole between the eyes. Smiley Faces started in England as a symbol of mind-altering drug users (especially of drug Ecstasy). Bobby McFerrin’s song has made him a fortune. Media has picked up on stories that show happy people live longer, etc.
Biblical truths about marriage:
1. As a human institution it is temporal.
2. It is not a totally fulfilling relationship.
3. It is not for everyone.
How to strengthen marriage vows:
1. Develop other supporting relationships.
2. Churches must help in this.
3. Strengthen and honor your extended family.
Many Christians are only "Christaholics" and not disciples at all. Disciples are cross-bearers; they seek Christ. Christaholics seek happiness. Disciples dare to discipline themselves, and the demands they place on themselves leave them enjoying the happiness of their growth. Christaholics are escapists looking for a shortcut to nirvana. Like drug addicts, they are trying to "bomb out" of their depressing world.
There is no automatic joy. Christ is not a happiness capsule; he is the way to the Father. But the way to the Father is not a carnival ride in which we sit and do nothing while we are whisked through various spiritual sensations.
"We're so different! I'm not sure I want to stay married to you. And if I had a choice, I doubt that I would choose you again!"
As a marriage therapist I often hear such complaints. These particular declarations were flung with pain, anger, and even despair. This time, however, my heart was pounding. Panic began to rise within me. The person I was listening to was not a client, but my wife.
1. The Goal of Intimacy
2. Myths of Intimacy
a. Myth #1: Acceptance is easy
Reality: Initial "acceptance involves accepting the image a person
presents.
Truth: Acceptance is a process.
b. Myth #2: Intimacy means being just alike.
Reality: In trying not to be different, we lost boundaries that helped
to define us as different people. My wife and I sought a
closeness that was actually enmeshment.
Truth: Two different individuals can become one.
c. Myth #3: We can make each other happy.
Reality: Joyfully doing my duty to make my wife happy lasted about as
long as the honeymoon.
Truth: We need to serve each other.
d. Myth #4: If I do my duty, God will change you.
Reality: If I am committed to my marriage and do my homework, my wife
may change for the better. But there is no guarantee.
Truth: My commitment is to God and His process.
3. Healthy Intimacy
First, in spiritual warfare, our struggle is no longer with each other
but with spiritual powers (Eph 6:12).
Second, we understand that our Lord Jesus is the only Source of intimacy.
Unmarried, middle-aged men are twice as likely to die as those who have spouses. Living together doesn’t help, you have to be married. 23% of men ages 45-54 who lived without a spouse died within 10 years, compared with 11% of those who lived with their wives. Women are much happier single.
Marriage apparently breeds better living habits, with single men drinking and smoking more and eating less well.
[see #1235]
Pre-Christmas sermon on Joy.
1. Happiness at Christmas.
2. Joy and Christians.
a. More than an emotion.
b. Joy at what God has done. (OT)
c. Joy in suffering. (NT)
3. How to have spiritual joy.
a. Personal relationship with God.
b. Personal relationship with Christians.
4. God's joy.
a. He rejoices over repentant sinners.
b. Have you come back to him?
"I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be 'happy.' I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all, to matter: To count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all."
________
from Rosten's "Passions and Prejudices"
The philosopher Pascal said:
“The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means - the future alone is our end. So we never live, but we hope to live - and as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so.”
"Fortune" magazine quotes a comment made by billionaire H. Ross Perot:
"Guys, just remember, if you get real lucky, if you make a lot of money, if you go out and buy a lot of stuff -- it's gonna break. You got your biggest, fanciest mansion in the world. It has air conditioning. It's got a pool. Just think of all the pumps that are going to go out. Or go to a yacht basin any place in the world. Nobody is smiling, and I'll tell you why. Something broke that morning. The generator's out; the microwave oven doesn't work.... Things just don't mean happiness."
=============================================
A similar illustration from Rev. Brett Blair:
Andrew Tobias, the financial author put it this way. Go down any day to the waterfront, and you will find a crowd of unhappy people. Someone will be having trouble getting the motor on their yacht to crank. Someone else will be scraping barnacles. Another will be repainting. Things just don't make you happy. Property brings problems. It is like an alligator that takes a bite out of your pocket every time you turn around. Don't be burdened by too many material things. As you go through life, one of the secrets of success is to travel light.
Letter from a young person to God:
Dear Lord,
Thanks for the bike last Christmas. It has made me very happy. Except for May 13 at 4 o'clock when I rode into a big ditch that I did not see. I am okay now.
Spencer, age 10
Money can buy...
a bed, but not rest
food, but not satisfaction
luxury, but not contentment
stocks, but not security
a house, but not a home
a church, but not a mission
But what money cannot buy, God offers as a free gift.
Anonymous
"I don't like money actually, but it quells my nerves." Joe Lewis
"When I was young, I used to think that money was the most important thing in
life; now that I am older I know it is." Oscar Wilde
"Happiness is not based on money. And best proof of that is our family."
Christiana Onassis
The total 1989 U.S. credit card debt totaled $206.7 billion.
(1991 Statistical Abstract of the US.)
[In 2019 it hit $930 billion!]
People forget that Jesus promised us more than just blessings.
In John 16:33 he also promised, "In the world you will have tribulation." Anyone who sees the Christian life as one unbroken victory is being naive. They will also end up being shallow.
According to William Barclay, the Arabs have a proverb that says, "All sunshine makes a desert."
Everyone enjoys the sun, but if the sun always shines everything will dry up and die. There are certain things which only the rains will produce, and there are certain experiences which only sorrow can bring about. Mourning and grief will come into your life, and if you're going to grow, they have to come.
#2475
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According to a sociologist:
In the 18th century the goal of parents was to have their children survive to adulthood. In the 19th century, the goal of parents was for their children to get good jobs. Today in the 20th century, parents want their children to be happy.
[see also HolwickID #17818]
One famous American who lived for happiness was Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway grew up in a staunch Christian home - his father had even thought of being a missionary.
However, Ernest had other goals for his life and left his childhood faith far behind him.
He became a writer and a thrill seeker. He hunted big game, fought in several wars, married four women and became an alcoholic.
Toward the end of his life Hemingway said, "I live in a vacuum that is as lonely as a radio tube when the batteries are dead and there is no current to plug into."
A few years later he committed suicide.
The key to the beatitudes is the word "blessed."
Many modern translations like the Living Bible and the version called Good News for Modern Man, translate this word as "happy." To some liberal scholars the beatitudes become a system for finding positive mental health. If you're not happy, then be meek, pure, and peaceable, and happiness will soon follow.
There is some truth to this approach, but the beatitudes involve much more. For one thing, the English word "happy" is based on the word "hap" which means chance. Just as the word haphazard means hit or miss, the word happiness refers to an emotion which depends on the chances and changes of life. Human happiness can come and it can go. The blessedness of a Christian, however, is unchangeable. In John 16:22, Jesus says, "No one will take away your joy."
Suffering makes us keep a proper perspective on ourselves. The British social commentator Malcolm Muggeridge wrote:
Suppose you eliminated suffering, what a dreadful place the world
would be. I would almost rather eliminate happiness. The world
would be the most ghastly place, because everything that corrects
the unspeakable little creature, man, to feel over-important and
over-pleased with himself would disappear. He's bad enough now,
but he would be absolutely intolerable if he never suffered.
Calvin and Hobbes are sitting under a tree having a discussion.
Calvin: If heaven is good, and if I like to be bad, how am I supposed to be happy there?
Hobbes: How will you get to heaven if you like to be bad?
Calvin: Let's say I didn't DO what I WANTED to do.
Suppose I led a blameless life! Suppose I denied my true dark nature!
Hobbes: I'm not sure I have that much imagination.
Calvin: Maybe heaven is a place where you're ALLOWED to be bad!
The comedy film "Cool Runnings" is about the first Jamaican bobsled team to go to the Olympics. John Candy plays a former American gold medalist who becomes a coach to the Jamaican team. The players grow to like the American coach and affectionately dub him "Sled-God."
Later in the story, the coach's dark history comes out. In the Olympics following his gold medal performance, he broke the rules by weighting the U.S. sled, bringing disgrace on himself and his team.
One of the Jamaican bobsledders could not understand why anyone who had already won a gold medal would cheat. Finally he nervously asked Candy to explain.
"I had to win," said the coach. "I learned something. If you are not happy without a gold medal, you won't be happy with it."
My closest Jewish friend in college nicknamed me "Simchah" - the ancient Hebrew word for joy.
It was no secret in our dorm that I laughed often and found a delight in daily circumstances that somehow escaped many others. One Christian friend confided: "The non-Christians here have a saying about you: ‘Either Paul is totally crazy, or he’s on to something we don’t know about.’"
They were right. I was on to something - I should say Someone - they didn’t know about, though I tried often enough to introduce them to Him. Only a short time before, I had met the Lord, and He had become the great Fountain of my joy. Whenever I sensed His presence, a deep delight that I couldn’t contain welled up within me.
In the more than 20 years since, joy has rarely been far from me, because Jesus has remained close by. That’s not to say that I haven’t known considerable grief, sadness, and struggle. Nor could I even say that I’ve been happy most of that time. But I’ve known an abiding joy nonetheless. When Christian friends ask about the secret of that joy, I share with them two important lessons that have made all the difference: First, I’ve learned not to confuse joy with happiness; and second, I’ve discovered that if we want joy, we must abandon the pursuit of it, and go looking for God instead.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAPPINESS AND JOY
People often equate happiness with joy, but the two are quite different. Our best clue to the meaning of HAPPINESS is found in one of its close synonyms, contentment, which has the same root as the word CONTAIN. To be content is to contain or possess what we want. So to be happy is to be satisfied, either because we have what we desire, or because we’ve given up the desire for what we don’t have.
Happiness, then, is not so much a feeling as it is a condition or state of being. It’s a calming of the heart’s activity. Jesus spoke, for example, of the shepherd who is happy to find a lost sheep (Matthew 18:13). Once the shepherd obtains what he wants, his activity toward that goal ceases. The writer to the Hebrews told Christians to be happy (or content) by giving up the desire to obtain more than what they had (Hebrews 13:5).
We can see why the pursuit of happiness is the unhappiest of pursuits: We can’t always have what we want; when we get what we want, we may lose it; and even if we don’t lose it, the sense of satisfaction may fade as we find ourselves attracted to something else.
That’s why it’s so important not to confuse joy with happiness. The Lord has promised that joy is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). But He never promised that we would have everything we want in this life. If we want to discover joy, we won’t find it by continually striving to arrange the circumstances of our lives in a satisfying way. We must look for it elsewhere.
Like happiness, joy brings us pleasure; so what exactly is the difference between the two? One simple definition of joy that might distinguish the two experiences is this: JOY IS THE SENSE OF DELIGHT THAT ARISES WITHIN US IN THE PRESENCE OF SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WE LOVE.
While happiness is a condition or state of being, joy is a response. Joy depends, not on our acquisition of something, but rather on our encounter with something. Happiness possesses; joy appreciates. Happiness grasps; joy beholds.
This understanding of joy is found throughout the Bible. For example, joy is the appreciative response of a father to the wisdom he finds in a cherished son (Proverbs 15:20). It’s the exultation of someone who loves righteousness upon seeing justice reign in the land (Proverbs 21:15). It’s the pleasure taken by a citizen of Jerusalem in the beauty of that beloved city (Psalm 48:1-2). In each of these cases, people aren’t feeling content because they have acquired something (happiness); they’re taking delight in their encounter with something they love (joy).
THE ORDER OF JOY
Joy represents the culmination of a sequence of events inside us: We see goodness; we recognize it for what it is; we love it; and we enjoy it. Seeing, knowing, loving, enjoying-that is what we might call the "order of joy."
Jesus spoke of this connection between vision and rejoicing when He comforted His disciples on the night of His betrayal. He told them that He would be taken away, but that they would see Him again; and when they saw Him, their grief would turn to joy (John 16:16-22). For us as for the disciples, joy comes when we see the Lord, because it’s the natural result of being in the presence of Someone we love.
In heaven, we will eternally behold the face of God as He is, without anything to obstruct the view (1 John 3:2). When at last we see Him perfectly, we will know Him and love Him perfectly, and we will enjoy Him without measure (1 Cor. 13:12).
In the meantime, God is wooing us, drawing us to Himself with glimpses of goodness in this world that point us toward Him as their Source. Just as Jesus’ disciples rejoiced because they continued to see Him after His ascension-through the works He did by His Spirit-we, too, can see Him if we’re willing to look for Him. The resulting vision of God in times of trouble and in our everyday lives can cause joy to well up within us, a foretaste of the joy of heaven.
LOOKING FOR GOD IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS
With all this in mind, we can understand the second lesson I’ve learned about abiding joy: To discover joy, we must abandon the search for it, and go looking instead for the One who is Himself joy to see, to know, and to love.
God is always with us. But our view of Him is often limited or obstructed, either by the difficult circumstances of our lives or by the wayward attitudes of our hearts. So if we want the joy God has promised, we must always be looking for God’s presence, whatever the situation in which we may find ourselves. We may have ample cause for sorrow; but no matter how difficult a situation might be, if we can somehow see the goodness of God at work, we will know Him better, love Him more, and find joy in His nearness.
I remember coming home one afternoon to discover that the kitchen I had worked so hard to clean only a few hours before was now a terrible wreck. My young daughter had obviously been busy "cooking," and the ingredients were scattered, along with dirty bowls and utensils, across the counters and floor. I was not happy with the situation.
Then, as I looked a little more closely at the mess, I spied a tiny note on the table, clumsily written and smeared with chocolatey fingerprints. The message was short - "I’m makin sumthin 4 you, Dad" - and it was signed, "Your Angel."
In the midst of that disarray, and despite my irritation, joy suddenly sprang up in my heart, sweet and pure. My attention had been redirected from the problem to the little girl I loved. As I encountered her in that brief note, I delighted in her. With her simple goodness in focus, I could take pleasure in seeing her hand at work in a situation that seemed otherwise disastrous.
The same is true of my joy in the Lord. Many times life looks rather messy; I can’t find much to be happy about in my circumstances. Nevertheless, if I look hard enough, I can usually see the Lord behind it all, or at least working through it all, "makin sumthin" for me. He has left His signature, His fingerprints, on the situation if I will just search for them. And when I find the evidence of His presence and His plan, a joy rises up in me that cannot be overcome by otherwise unpleasant circumstances.
Several years ago, I severed my left Achilles tendon while playing volleyball. My left leg up to my hip was placed in a cumbersome cast for many weeks. As far as I was concerned, the handicap couldn’t have come at a worse time: It was a hot Georgia summer, and we were living in a tiny campus apartment with only one bathroom - upstairs. My whole leg throbbed and itched continually; I couldn’t get up and down stairs without terrible difficulty; I couldn’t drive or take a shower; and I had to sleep on a mattress in the hall because my fumbling in bed with the cumbersome cast kept my wife awake at night. To make matters worse, my wife was pregnant and struggling almost daily with morning sickness.
The Lord was there, but I had to look for Him. I found Him in all the wonderful friends who came to take care of us. They helped with meals, housecleaning, and transportation. They prayed for me and with me. They kept me laughing and reminded me that God was still in control. And when the cast finally came off, I realized that we were closer than we’d ever been before. God had been in the middle of that mess, and He had left His signature in the lovingkindness of my friends.
JOY IN THE EVERYDAY
Sometimes joy seems to elude us most in the everyday routine. The world seems gray; the hours seem empty. We aren’t particularly distressed, but we don’t find much pleasure in what we do.
In these times, joy must come to us the same way it comes when we are hurting: We must catch a glimpse of the Lord. The task of preparing ourselves for joy in the ordinary circumstances of life is actually a matter of directing our attention. As Bible teacher A.W. Tozer once put it, we must build "the inward habit of beholding God." How do we cultivate this habit?
Perhaps surprisingly, we make room in our lives for God’s joy through the traditional disciplines of the Christian life - such things as prayer, worship, Scripture study, fellowship, and service. Now you may object that, as the Scripture tells us, "all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful" (Hebrews 12:11, NASB). Yet eventually joy will follow the discipline - if we keep our eyes on the Lord as we labor. The purpose of spiritual disciplines, after all, is to open us to God’s grace, which also opens us to the joy of encountering God. Each discipline can open our eyes to some aspect of God’s goodness that enables us to see, know, love, and delight in Him more deeply.
The discipline of prayer, for example, can give us daily a joyful view of God’s nearness. But it becomes a frantic and draining labor if it centers on ourselves or our concerns. Once while I was in graduate school, our finances were especially tight, and I panicked when an emergency expense came up. When I approached the Lord in prayer, I found myself pointing furiously at the problem and nagging Him to pay attention to it.
Then suddenly I remembered to turn my focus to God instead of the problem. I began to praise Him, declaring Him all-powerful, all-wise, and all-loving. I began recalling all the times He had proven Himself faithful to us, all the times we had seen His fingerprints in the midst of untidy circumstances. Before long I was rejoicing that He ruled over the situation. I still wasn’t happy with my circumstances, but the assurance of God’s loving power brought joy into the midst of an everyday challenge.
A LOVE LETTER FROM GOD
Scripture reading is another discipline that can provide us a joy-inspiring view of God. When I approach the Word of God as a fresh love letter from my closest Friend, searching for Him as I read, then in each line I taste the pleasure of knowing better the One I love. When the Scripture commands me, for example, to forgive, the command becomes an occasion for joy when I behold in the Scripture my Savior forgiving my own sin, setting the example for me. Then, when I ask Him to help me forgive others and express my confidence that He will answer, I sense His nearness even more vividly. My joy abounds.
The same is true when we reach out to others in the discipline of service. If we keep our eyes on the task itself, we may find ourselves in a joyless ministry. The work may be long and hard, the fruit may be difficult to measure, the people receiving our ministry may be ungrateful.
Yet Jesus said that if we care for the "least" of His brothers and sisters, we will be caring for Him as well (Matthew 25:40). We’ll find joy in our service only to the extent that we find Jesus there - only when we remember that whatever work we do, we are "working for the Lord" (Col. 3:23).
LOOKING FOR GOD’S FINGERPRINTS
Whichever Christian discipline we may consider-worship, witness, fasting, fellowship, or many others - the same principle holds. If we want our lives to flow with joy, then we have to look for the Lord in what we’re doing. However dismal or intimidating our circumstances may seem, we must look for God’s fingerprints in the midst of them, some indication that He is with us. Only then will we be able to "leap for joy," as Jesus said, because we’ll be looking past the hardship to focus on our great reward: the Lord Himself (Luke 6:23).
Will we always be happy? By no means. Happiness will come and go until we reach heaven and at last our desire rests fully in God.
Will we be beyond the reach of sorrow? Of course not. But the sorrow will be chastened by the joy, and the joy will be our refreshing stream in the desert until that Day when the wilderness will become a garden-and we will behold at last the beauty of the Face which we were created to enjoy forever.
___________________
PAUL THIGPEN has a Ph.D. in historical theology from EMORY UNIVERSITY and is assistant professor of religious studies at SOUTHWEST MISSOURI STATE UNIVERSITY in Springfield. He has written 13 books and numerous articles. Paul is a consulting editor for DISCIPLESHIP JOURNAL and a contributing editor for THE JOYFUL NOISELETTER, a publication of the FELLOWSHIP OF MERRY CHRISTIANS.
#3701
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Some secrets on how to have a successful family:
I. The secret of Contentment.
A. Don't fall into the "if only" trap.
B. Feasting doesn't produce happiness.
C. Give your kids time instead of toys.
II. The secret of Merriment.
A. Develop a family with a sense of fun.
B. Parental Grump Cycle.
1) Don't bring work problems home.
2) Establish a family fun night.
III. The secret of Service.
A. World says sex is key to love.
B. Bible says commitment is key to love.
1) We can fall back into love by serving our spouse.
2) Fixing breakfast for the family.
Don't fall off the sofa, couch potatoes, but happiness could be as easy as turning off your television set. Or at least that might be a start. "People who are passive, who are vegetative, dare I say watching television, are less likely to report themselves happy than people who are actively doing things," says psychologist Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania. Dennis Heathey, a paralyzed teacher of the homeless, dismisses television as a source of joy. "There's no human interaction there," he says. "It's the relational activity that makes me happy. Sharing in somebody else's happiness is GREAT." These observations come, quite surprisingly, from television. And the source of this biting-the-hand-that-feeds-you? ABC News, in a refreshing - and reassuring - special called "The Mystery of Happiness: Who has It & How to Get It." John Stossel starts off by reminding viewers how difficult life has been through most of history. People struggled in poverty. Food was scarce. Disease killed off many children. Earthly happiness was unimaginable.
Thomas Jefferson changed that in the Declaration of Independence, and Americans have been thinking about the pursuit of happiness ever since. People in other parts of the world don't have as much time to think about happiness. In this age of anxiety, most Americans say they're happy. Yet that hasn't stopped Stossel from debunking some of misconceptions about what leads to happiness. Money can't guarantee joy, several lottery winners acknowledge. A woman won $26 million watched her marriage fall apart.
Beyond the anecdotal, the ABC special explores new scientific theories about happiness. An X-ray style test indicates that a happy person has increased activity in the brains left frontal area. Good-sport Stossel takes the test at the University of Wisconsin, and the results confirm he's not predisposed to happiness. "What a whiner I am!" he confesses. Other tests bolster the view that happy people are born that way. Identical twins, even those who grow apart, share a similar outlook, according to a University of Minnesota study. The University of Maryland has found that children are born with biological predispositions. Yet that shouldn't deter anyone from working toward happiness.
To stress points about optimism, faith and the importance of control, the special talks to such diverse subjects as Olympic swimmer Matt Biondi; U.S. Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz; a symphony conductor; an Amish woman and a couple married 54 years. McCain endured 5 years as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam because he had a "a fundamental belief that things in the end were going to be OK." And if people don't feel that way, they can change. Stossel gives a few pointers: Laughter helps. Putting on a happy face can make a difference. The approach could be called the Nike philosophy: Just do it.
Sermon in Philippians series. Purpose in life. Philippians 1:1-6
=========================
WHAT'S TO BE HAPPY ABOUT?
=========================
I. Introduction to series on Philippians.
A. Paul in prison.
B. Writes to young church in Greece.
C. Focus is on Jesus.
II. A heartfelt prayer.
A. Almost all of Paul's letters begin with a prayer.
B. He has wonderful ____________ of their church. Acts 16:14,34
C. Joy is his predominant feeling.
III. Side by side.
A. Paul was happy because Christianity did not depend on him alone.
B. Two primary meanings: _____________ and _____________.
IV. Confidence in the future.
A. Paul sees God at work in their lives.
B. The end product is someone who perfectly reflects Jesus.
C. We can be confident - but not dogmatic.
V. What is the guiding purpose of YOUR life?
Ancient Chinese Proverb:
If you want to be happy for...
An hour - take a nap.
A day - go fishing.
A month - get married.
A year - inherit a fortune.
A lifetime - help someone.
=============================
Another version by Roddy Chestnut:
Happiness:
If you wish to be happy for one hour, get intoxicated.
If you you wish to be happy for three days, get married.
If you wish to be happy for eight days, kill your pig and eat it.
If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.
When David Larson was training for a career in psychiatry, faculty advisers warned him, "You'll harm your patients if you try to combine your Christian faith with the practice of psychiatry." Instructors insisted that religion usually hurts a person's mental health.
Does research confirm that notion? Larson wondered. Or is it a myth passed around in academic circles? His curiosity led him on a quest he has followed for 15 years. He spends his time poring over academic journals and obscure research reports, pondering "negative curvilinear variables" and seeking clues into how religion affects mental and physical health.
At once Larson noticed that most research studies ignored the subject of religion altogether. This seemed odd, since 90 percent of Americans believe in God, 40 percent attend religious services weekly, and a large minority claim religion is "very important" in their lives. Could the omission reflect the antireligious bias of the field? Studies reveal that fewer than half of psychiatrists and psychologists believe in God, and one survey found that 40 percent regard organized religion as "always, or usually, psychologically harmful."
THE LOW-SALT, HIGH-FAITH DIET
Even though surveys tended to avoid explicit questions on faith, some had asked basic questions about religious involvement. Larson examined these findings, then broadened his search to include anything that might indicate the effect of Christian commitment on health. What he found shocked him:
*Regular church attenders live longer. Religiousness markedly reduces the
incidence of heart attack, arteriosclerosis, high blood pressure, and
hypertension.
* Religious people are less likely to abuse alcohol and far less likely to use
illicit drugs. Conversely, one study found that 89 percent of alcoholics
had lost interest in religion during their teenage years.
* Prison inmates who make a religious commitment are less likely than their
counterparts to return to jail.
* Marital satisfaction and overall well-being tend to increase with church
attendance; depression rates decline.
* Religious commitment offers some protection against one of the nation's
greatest health problems: divorce. People who attend church regularly are
more than twice as likely to remain married. Protection against divorce
is important for many reasons.
First, divorce dramatically increases the likelihood of early death from
strokes, hypertension, respiratory cancer, and intestinal cancer.
Astonishingly, being divorced and a nonsmoker is only slightly less
dangerous than smoking a pack or more a day and staying married!
Second, divorce disrupts mental health, especially for men. The suicide
rate for white males goes up by a factor of four with divorce, and they
have ten times the probability of needing psychiatric care. Finally,
divorce takes a devastating toll on children. Children from broken homes
are more likely to commit crimes, do poorly in school, abuse drugs, and
attempt suicide.
In short, Larson found that religious commitment, far from causing health problems, has a pronounced effect on reducing them. "In essence the studies empirically verify the wisdom of the book of Proverbs," he says. "Those who follow biblical values live longer, enjoy life more, and are less diseased. The facts are in; we need to get the word out." As a consultant to the National Institute of Mental Health and a fellow of the newly formed Paul Tournier Institute (sponsored by the Christian Medical and Dental Society), he seeks to do just that.
LIGHTS ON THE HILL
Larson also believes the research data should influence public policy. "Decision makers can't be expected to write laws that reflect biblical values," he admits. "But I've found they do respond to two things: (1) staying alive and (2) saving money. We know beyond doubt that divorce, for example, hurts all parties and costs society dearly shouldn't public policy somehow favor stable marriages?"
Larson points out that the key factor is the degree of religious commitment, not any particular affiliation. Dedicated Mormons, Jews, Catholics, and Protestants all manifest improved health. Lifestyle issues account for some of the difference. Utah, populated by Mormons who don't drink, smoke, or even take caffeine, has one of the lowest rates of heart attack. Its neighbor Nevada, where people stay up all night in smoky casinos with a martini in one hand and gambling dice in the other has one of the highest.
Yet Larson argues that religious faith offers much more than a barrier against harmful vices. Many medical studies have revealed that a person's attitudes and overall well-being have a great impact on physical and emotional health. As Bernie Siegel, author of "Love, Medicine and Miracles," says, "I feel that all disease is ultimately related to a lack of love.... The truth is: love heals."
It would be difficult to concoct a better recipe for health than the nine-word prescription given in Galatians 5: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Paul playfully comments, "Against such things there is no law." In view of Larson's findings, perhaps we should add a footnote, "To promote such things there should be a law."
I have my doubts whether any amount of empirical data will persuade Congress to enact legislation along the lines Larson's research suggests. As a nation, we seem far more interested in preserving the right to destroy ourselves. However, the findings do hint at an approach that may prove useful to the church in the twenty-first century.
In the not-so-distant past, the American church and state recognized many of the same values: sacredness and dignity of human life, sexual fidelity, family stability, discipline, moderation. Increasingly, those values have been drifting apart, and the church may not be able to stop that trend in a secularized society. But we can strive to fulfill Jesus' original challenge: to serve as the salt of the earth, the light of the world, a city on a hill. Although we may not convert the whole Mill [Hill?], we need not be ashamed of erecting a different kind of city on the landscape of our troubled planet. As the research clearly shows, what is "good" in the moral sense, in the city of God, is also good in the pragmatic sense, in the city of man.
”A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. — Hugh Downs, Television Newsperson
Questions to Ponder
• Is my happiness based on events or an inner choice?
• Do my attitudes support my happiness the large majority of the time?
*
[original illustation at this number was added to HolwickID #5044]
”A girl dreams of having a husband, and her fantasy imagines a perfect one: tender & loving & always sensitive. Add to the picture a couple of kids who easily stand out as the cutest kids on the block, the brightest in school, and the best behaved in church. Life with this family will be lived in a beautiful house, the kind featured in Good Housekeeping . Eventually the dreamer falls in love. Passions are intense; he seems so right. The premarital counseling, however useful for other mortals, offers little in her judgment, for she and her fiancé enjoy a relationship obviously made in heaven. By the time she discovers that he gets his undershirt dirty like everyone else, new dreams have emerged to sustain her. She eagerly awaits the arrival of children, she budgets and saves for a new house, she cultivates a circle of friends. But then, usually somewhere in the mid-thirties, an inner change takes place. Depression sets in, and with it comes a vague restlessness, a nameless yearning. She still loves her husband and children. Nevertheless, she seems to have such emptiness within. Her dreams have come true — and that’s part of the problem. Reality never touches the false ideal. The husband has his difficult side, the children fight and fuss, and even a beautiful house can’t cure boredom. An indescribable hunger wells up from the deep recesses of her being, an intense loneliness overwhelms her.”
Donald McCullough, “The Pitfall of Positive Thinking.” Christianity Today 29 [Sept. 6, 1985]:23-24.
As we rolled five-year-old Mary into the MRI room, I tried to imagine what she must be feeling. She had suffered a stroke that left half of her body paralyzed, had been hospitalized for treatment of a brain tumor, and had recently lost her father, her mother and her home. We all wondered how Mary would react.
She went into the MRI machine without the slightest protest, and we began the exam. At that time, each imaging sequence required the patient to remain perfectly still for about five minutes. This would have been difficult for anyone - and certainly for a five-year-old who had suffered so much. We were taking an image of her head, so any movement of her face, including talking, would result in image distortion.
About two minutes into the first sequence, we noticed on the video monitor that Mary's mouth was moving. We even heard a muted voice over the intercom. We halted the exam and gently reminded Mary not to talk. She was smiling and promised not to talk.
We reset the machine and started over. Once again we saw her facial movement and heard her voice faintly. What she was saying wasn't clear. Everyone was becoming a little impatient, with a busy schedule that had been put on hold to perform an emergency MRI on Mary.
We went back in and slid Mary out of the machine. Once again, she looked at us with her crooked smile and wasn't upset in the least. The technologist, perhaps a bit gruffly, said, "Mary, you were talking again, and that causes blurry pictures."
Mary's smile remained as she replied, "I wasn't talking. I was singing. You said no talking." We looked at each other, feeling a little silly.
"What were you singing?" someone asked.
"Jesus Loves Me," came the barely perceptible reply. "I always sing 'Jesus Loves Me' when I'm happy."
Everyone in the room was speechless. "Happy? How could this little girl be happy?" The technologist and I had to leave the room for a moment to regain our composure as tears began to fall.
Many times since that day, when feeling stresses, unhappy or dissatisfied with some part of my life, I have thought of Mary and felt both humbled and inspired. Her example made me see that happiness is a marvelous gift - free to anyone willing to accept it.
________
By James C. Brown, M.D., from A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
Happiness comes and goes. I'm looking for something that lasts.
Down in Georgia they have a saying: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." It's a reminder that one person's moods affect the entire household, but indirectly it points to a larger problem. The truth is, Mama never can stay completely happy, and neither can Daddy. In short, ain't nobody happy for long.
I know some people who seem to be perpetually cheerful, and others who have learned to take joy in even the small pleasures of life. But that's not the same as being "happy."
Happiness is something most people pursue, and it's a big element in bringing couples together. How many marriages were born in the sincere but naive promise: "I'll make you happy"? Unfortunately, that's a commitment that can't be fully kept, and the attempt can become an impossible burden to bear.
My wife, Leisa, and I never promised to make each other happy. But after ten years of marriage, I found I had somehow assumed responsibility for her happiness. If she woke up in a bad mood, then somehow it must be my fault. If our plans didn't work out, I surely must have contributed to her disappointment. If the furniture we bought turned out to be uncomfortable, if the car we bought turned out to be a lemon, I felt bad that my wife was displeased.
I don't think Leisa was expecting me to make her happy in every way. I was the one with unrealistic expectations. In any case, it all came to a head one day not long after we'd moved to another state and built a beautiful new home. I'd made a difficult job change, taken on considerable debt and put my graduate degree on hold at least in part because I knew she longed to get out of our cramped housing situation and live like "normal" people.
The new job wasn't going well, so you can imagine my reaction when Leisa began to find fault with what I'd thought was her dream come true. The yard was poorly landscaped. The master bath window was too big. The white kitchen floor never looked clean.
I came home from work exhausted one night and asked how decorating was going. When she expressed a mild complaint about a minor flaw of the house, I exploded.
"Can't you EVER be happy?" I said accusingly. She was taken back by my vehemence, and before she could reply, I said, "From now on, I give up trying to make you happy. Never again will I take responsibility for your happiness."
You can imagine the battle royal that followed. It took us a while to sort things out, but in the end I realized something good had come out of the confrontation: I'd set myself free from the bonds of my own unrealistic expectations. I couldn't keep my wife happy. I couldn't even keep myself happy. Happiness was too perishable a substance; it couldn't be kept in the cabinet and dispensed daily like vitamins.
When I gave up on the pursuit of happiness for my spouse, I discovered that something much more satisfying could be cultivated. I mean, of course, the spiritual fruit of joy.
ETERNAL HAPPINESS
Have you ever tried to define happiness? What most of us call happiness is related to contentment, which has the same root as the word "contain." To be content is to possess something we've desired as a good. To be happy, then -- at least for a time -- is to be satisfied because we've obtained something we've desired.
In this sense, happiness is not so much a feeling as a state of being that results from acquisition. No wonder we often describe our wedding day, or the day our first child was born, as "the happiest day of our life." We deeply desired to be joined to that man or woman; we longed to hold a child in our arms. And on that wonderful day, we finally possessed what we had earnestly sought.
But the first major fight between newlyweds takes some of the glow off those wedding bands. Later, that cooing bundle of joy wakes up screaming every hour on the hour through the night. Or worse: A spouse becomes violent; a teenager ends up in prison. Great or small, happiness comes and goes. The summer of our bliss turns into the winter of our discontent.
It makes sense, then, to enjoy the happinesses of life as they come. But, at the same time, it's obvious why the PURSUIT of happiness is the unhappiest of pursuits. Such a state of contentment is at best temporary and fragile, dependent on our changing desires and circumstances. The conditions for happiness aren't always under our control; we can't always have what we want.
Is there, then, no genuine and enduring happiness? Of course; it comes with the possession of that true and ultimate Good -- God himself -- who makes other goods pale by comparison and who can never be lost. The full and eternal happiness of heaven will blossom from our being continually united to God in love while we remain on earth. Happiness comes from possessing God fully and being possessed by him fully. But for now, because our love is imperfect, even our happiness in God is imperfect.
So in the meantime, what can we pursue, if not happiness?
THE LOVE ENCOUNTER
Folks often speak of happiness and joy as if they were the same thing, but that's a mistake. Joy brings us pleasure just as happiness does, but it doesn't depend on acquisition.
We find joy in the sense of delight that comes from being in the presence of someone or something we love. It's based on our ENCOUNTER with something. Happiness possesses; joy appreciates. Happiness grasps; joy beholds.
When Leisa and I vacation at the beach and wake up to view a glorious sunrise over the ocean, the pleasure we feel at the sight isn't happiness. We can't possess the sunrise. We know the streaks of crimson and gold will fade quickly; we don't have the satisfaction of having acquired them for ourselves.
Still, the sunrise gives us joy. Looking out over the waves, we're delighted simply by encountering such beauty. We behold something good, we love it, and we feel an inner sweetness in the presence of what we love. More wonderful still, since we know and love our Creator, we find a deeper sense of joy in admiring the handiwork of Goodness himself.
See, just as the ultimate happiness comes from possessing God, the ultimate joy comes from beholding God. Our joy will be full in heaven, when we will forever behold the face of God (see 1 John 3:2). In the meantime, God is wooing us, drawing us with glimpses of goodness in this world that point us toward him as their Source.
To cultivate joy in marriage, we look for God at work in the one we love. His fingerprints are everywhere: in that wedding ring, scratched, but irremovable; in the wildflowers gathered for the dinner table; in the swelling voice in the shower, off-key but enthusiastic; in the mended clothes, the repaired appliance, the toddler's hurt finger healed with a kiss. When we turn our attention to what's good and precious in our home, when we search out and appreciate the beauty of marital love in its daily, earthy tokens, we gather God's treasure, one jewel at a time.
Even on the unhappiest day we can find a reason for joy.
__________________________
Paul Thigpen is assistant professor of religious studies at Southwest Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri. He and Leisa have two children.
Copyright(c) 1997 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc./MARRIAGE PARTNERSHIP magazine
Winter 1997, Vol. 14, No. 4, Page 12
*
If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living 24 crowded hours of the day.
-- Lillian Eichler Watson
Quotes by Mark Twain
====================
"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them."
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
"Always do right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy, you must have somebody to divide it with."
"Speaking honestly is better. It takes a lot of stress out of our lives. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything, but if you don't tell the truth you have to remember what you said."
"Real happiness is not dependent on external things. The pond is fed from within. The kind of happiness that stays with you is the happiness that springs from inward thoughts and emotions. You must cultivate your mind if you wish to achieve enduring happiness. You must furnish your mind with interesting thoughts and ideas. For an empty mind seeks pleasure as a substitute for happiness."
-- William Lyons Phelps, paraphrased by Lillian Eichler Watson
BLESSED ARE THEY
Blessed are they who are pleasant to live with--
Blessed are they who sing in the morning;
Whose faces have smiles for their early adorning;
Who come down to breakfast companioned by cheer;
Who don't dwell on troubles or entertain fear;
Whose eyes smile forth bravely; whose lips curve to say:
"Life, I salute you! Good morning, new day!"
Blessed are they who arre pleasant to live with--
Blessed are they who treat one another;
Though merely a sister, a father or brother,
With the very same courtesy they would extend
To a casual acquaintance or dearly loved friend;
Who choose for the telling encouraging things;
Who choke back the bitter, the sharp word that stings;
Who bestow love on others throughout the long day--
Pleasant to live with and blessed are they.
(From the book, SILKEN THREADS by Wilhelmina Stitch, copyright 1930)
Dr. Russell Conwell of Temple University delivered a lecture in which he told of a man in Titusville, Pennsylvania, who sold his farm for $833 to look for oil in Canada. The fellow who left Titusville never found oil, but the man who bought his farm did -- and launched a billion-dollar industry.
Today, with faster communications and transportation, it's not so important where you are, or that the grass might be greener in the next field. What counts is the piece of real estate between your ears. Is it rich, fertile, productive? Or is it a wasteland? If it's either, a change in geography won't matter. Unpack and take a closer look at your own backyard.
_____________
(A message as published in the WALL STREET JOURNAL by United Technologies Corp., Hartford, CT 06101.)
[Holwick: this is a modern version of Conwell's famous "Acres of Diamonds" story. The one who bought the Titusville farm would be John D. Rockefeller.]
*
A 1995 Gallup poll found that the percentage of American families who earn less than $15,000 and feel they have achieved the American dream is 13%. This is not a surprising fact. A family of four earning less than $15,000 a year is barely above the poverty level. Do you know what the percentage was for families who earned more than $50,000? Only 14% of families who earned $50,000 or more said they had achieved the American dream!
It was spring, but it was summer I wanted,
the warm days, and the great outdoors.
it was summer, but it was fall I wanted,
the colorful leaves, and the cool, dry air.
it was spring, but it was winter I wanted,
the beautiful snow, and the joy of the holiday season.
I was a child, but it was adulthood I wanted,
the freedom, and the respect.
I was twenty, but it was thirty I wanted,
the youth and the free spirit.
I was retired, but it was middle age I wanted,
the presence of mind, without limitations.
My life was over,
but I never got what I wanted.-- Jason Lehman
Commitment is cheap when a running back will sign a six-year, multi-million dollar contract, and then stay out of training camp in his third year because the team won't renegotiate his contract. Why does he want to renegotiate? Because some other backs in the league recently signed new contracts worth more than his. He wants to renegotiate because his contract is no longer personally convenient, and he refused to keep his commitment until he gets his way. One player recently hinted that if his contract wasn't renegotiated, he wouldn't be able to give 100% on the field. Can you blame him? He was only making $685,000 a year.
(Steve Farrar, POINT MAN, Portland: Multnomah, 1990)
*
The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world; but joy, pleasure and merriment He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and pose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bath or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.
C. S. Lewis
Joy is that which encompasses and transcends both happiness and sadness. Once endowed with joy, a person is not likely to lose it and in fact it grows with awareness of it. Joy is like the sun, always shining even when night falls or clouds cover it. Happiness is like the moon, waxing and waning. Happiness is a kiss, joy a golden wedding anniversary. Happiness is frequently shared but not always -- joy is always. Happiness is born in the mind, joy in the heart. Happiness comes from humans, joy from God. Happiness is exchanging Christmas gifts -- joy is awareness of what Christmas is all about.
________
F. E. Arn, in "The Living Church"
PRESCRIPTION FOR UN-HAPPINESS
1. Make little things bother you: don't just let them, MAKE them!
2. Lose your perspective of things, and keep it lost: Don't put first things first.
3. Get yourself a good worry -- one about which you cannot do anything but worry.
4. Be a perfectionist: condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection.
5. Be right: always right: perfectly right all the time. Be the only one who is right, and be rigid about your rightness.
6. Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Impute ulterior motives to them.
7. Always compare yourself unfavorably to others, which is the guarantee of 'instant misery.'
8. Take personally, with a 'chip on your shoulder,' everything that happens to you that you don't like.
9. Don't give yourself wholeheartedly or enthusiastically to anyone or to anything.
10. Make happiness the aim of your life instead of bracing for life's barbs through a 'bitter with the sweet' philosophy. Use this prescription regularly for a while and you will be guaranteed unhappiness.
__________
Submitted by Raymond Guterman, Columbus, Georgia
Benjamin Franklin, with his sagacity and wit, was a man who thoroughly enjoyed trimming hecklers down to size. During the early days of the American Republic, he spoke many times on that great document, the Constitution of the United States.
After one such stirring speech, an uncouth fellow rose and boldly walked a few paces toward the platform. "Aw, them words don't mean nothin' a-tall!" he shouted at Franklin. "Where's all that happiness you say it guarantees us?"
Franklin smiled benevolently at the questioner, and quickly, blandly, Old Ben replied, "My friend, the Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it for yourself!"
__________
The Sword of the Lord, Mar 1984
Ultimately EACH one of us is responsible for our own happiness. Can't always control our situation -- CAN CONTROL how we react!
Therapist Margaret Oldham says what many of her clients want is an ideal relationship in which they'll be loved completely without having to do anything in return.
“This is the person who is going to be there to talk to, to go somewhere with them, or, you know, a person who's just going to be there and is going to understand them. Most people don't want to have to tell you how they feel. They want you to divine that.... Someone who would understand them so thoroughly that they would never have to say a word and just always be there for them.... What people need to accept is that it is their responsibility to communicate what they need and what they feel, and to realize that they cannot expect someone else magically to make them happy. People want to be made happy, instead of making themselves happy."
___________
"Habits of the Heart: Individualism & Commitment in American Life," p. 15.
*
A new movie starring Robin Williams, “What Dreams May Come” is all about going to heaven. But before Christians start flooding movie theaters, remember that Hollywood's idea about heaven may be very different from ours. Generally heaven is depicted as the culmination of our dreams of ultimate happiness. Understandable, I suppose, for Hollywood, since happiness is supposed to be everyone's goal. But not only does Hollywood have a wrong view of heaven; it's also got a distorted view of happiness.
Williams plays a character who dies and goes to heaven -- only to find that it looks exactly like a 3-D version of a painting done by his artist wife. The idea is that eternal bliss is being near our loved ones -- or next best thing. In Williams's case, it means living in a landscape his wife has painted while he waits for her to come to heaven. But more importantly, Williams's heaven is a creation of his own will. When he notices a bird painted in the sky above his head, Williams asks his spiritual guide why it's not moving. The guide says it's completely up to him; if he wants it to, it will fly. So Williams wills the bird to life, and it begins to fly wherever he wants it to go.
The underlying theme is that ultimate happiness is being able to control reality, to have all our wishes and desires fulfilled.
Well, this may well reflect the contemporary view of happiness, but it falls woefully short of the historic view.
Deal Hudson, editor of “Crisis” magazine, writes that the classical idea of happiness had to do with a state of character and virtue. The ancient Greek word for happiness meant the formation of character over a lifetime. It referred to how well we conformed ourselves to reality: that is, the structure of the universe around us, and our own nature. Only by learning to live in accord with our true nature can we be genuinely happy.
This is the sense of happiness the Founding Fathers had in mind when they talked about the inalienable right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” They meant we have a right to practice the virtues that ultimately lead to true happiness. That was the ancient Greek understanding, and it was also the Christian understanding.
Today, Hudson writes, “the word happiness [has been] stripped of its moral meaning.” The modern understanding has more to do with feeling good and getting what we want.
In “The Abolition of Man,” C. S. Lewis says, “For the wise men of old, the cardinal problem had been how to conform the soul to reality. And the solution has been knowledge, self-discipline, and virtue.” But for the contemporary mindset “the problem is how to subdue reality to the wishes of man.” Lewis had it right!
The truth is that we are not the creators of reality, God is. And the more we try to create our own Reality, the unhappier we become. But the more we live in harmony with the objective reality God has created, the happier we will be.
Williams's movies are usually hits and widely discussed. If your friends start talking about this film, use it as an apologetic opportunity. Heaven is not the happiness of having our own way. And anyone who has tried the self-indulgent, hedonistic lifestyle has discovered the only real happiness is finding peace through Him who conforms us to the moral order He has created.
______________
(c) 1998 Prison Fellowship Ministries Copyright notice: We encourage liberal distribution of these transcripts through email and print. Please do not post on the world wide web or use this content for profit.
Watch lots of television soaps if if you want to be happy, and don't even think of having an affair.
After spending 11 years analysing thousands of questionnaires, Oxford Professor Michael Argyle believes he has found out what makes people happy.
Argyle told the Sunday Telegraph newspaper that the key was to have one close relationship and a network of friends.
Marriage was one of the most important guarantees of happiness, especially for men, and the least happy in society were those who are divorced or separated, his research found.
Extra-marital affairs brought unhappiness because of the damage they did to the marriage. “Having two people who give you support and company could be a good thing. But it rarely works out that way,” the professor told the paper.
He found that only the very poor were “less” happy and that those on middle incomes were just as happy as the very rich.
“Satisfaction and happiness do not increase with income, unless you get paid more than you expected in the light of your education and job,” he said.
Argyle found people were no happier -- and no sadder -- than they were 50 years ago. But he was surprised to find that TV soap addicts were a happy bunch.
“The results on television watching have been most perplexing,” Argyle said. “People who watch soap operas seem to gain a great deal of happiness from that. One theory is that through doing it, they are making imaginary friends.”
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