100 Sermon Illustrations on Parents

On Sept 26, 1986, 16 year old David Joseph killed his father, Lawrence Joseph, 44, with a .22 caliber gun while his dad slept in their Hanover Park, Illinois (suburb of Chicago) home. Afterwards David acted like nothing had happened, leaving his father's body lying on the blood-soaked bed. Used his father's credit card to buy a new suit for his homecoming date and then drove his father's Corvette to the school dance and used the credit card to pay for dinner. He then told a friend he found his dad's body when he returned from a trip. He is facing a minimum of 20 years behind bars and a possible life sentence.

Cartoon in “Leadership” magazine:

Pastor is showing a new couple around the church. Coming to a room with a sign that says, “Adult Children of Perfectly Normal Parents,” he pauses. “This is our newest support group, but by far the smallest.”

The model of the "traditional family" is not very true to the realities of today, or even the realities of the Bible. The Bible has many different structures for families. Jesus grew up in a one-parent family. A family exists whenever a particular group thinks or feels that they ARE a family, according to the Scripture. (William Sheek)

"Biblical love creates an environment of security in which problems, differences, and mistakes can be worked through and overcome. It creates homes in which each member of the family knows that whatever happens, acceptance, forgiveness, and love will never be withheld from him or her.

Since both justification and sanctification are the work of the Holy Spirit, parents should not expect of themselves what only God can do. God does not require results. Prov. 22:6 is not a blanket promise from God because if it were, the effects of sin could be wiped out by using correct child-rearing techniques; there would be no need of the atonement. Responses vary to God’s Word (parable of seeds). Parents must sow seed and prepare the soil the best they can, but the child has free will to accept or reject the seed.

Good parenting is an imitation of how God relates to us as His children. Parents have a large impact on the religious beliefs of their children. One study found that fathers who attend church at least three times a month, discuss religion at home, and are committed to their beliefs have sons who follow the same pattern. Fathers who do not follow these 3 things have an inconsistent impact. God Himself will take on the role of father when none is present (Psalm 68:5).

Parents can make mistakes and still be successful.

Out of 1,000 unmarried young women, 96 will get pregnant in 1989. 40% of

all 14-year-olds will be pregnant at least once before they are 20.

Proverbs gives practical advice on illicit sex, alcohol and drugs (75% of

American homes keep alcohol in supply), peer pressure, and materialism (it is

estimated that teenagers spend close to $90 billion each year, with $30

billion going to videotapes and fast food).

A recent survey of a Midwestern suburban are found a direct correlation exists

between spiritual strength at home and avoidance of drugs and alcohol. By a

nearly 2-to-1 margin, nonusers more frequently described themselves as having

strong religious values. And by a 3-to-1 margin, nonusers reported that their

families often help them with problems.

#1013

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Gunther Gebel-Williams trains animals for the circus.

“Master horse trainer Harry Williams taught Gunther that unending patience was the secret of success in training any animal. Never strike a horse, Williams explained. Instead constantly repeat instructions, using rewards for accomplishments and mild rebukes for failure. Gunther also learned the value of consistency – presenting yourself every day to an animal the same way.”

Peanuts cartoon (Charlie Brown).

[Children ask grandmother, who is out of view]:

Kids: "There's Mother's Day and Father's Day. What about Children's Day?"

Grandma: "Every day is children's day!!"

(They are not satisfied with this, but expected it.)

The teaching of Jesus on being a child of God.

1. The status of children. (Modern and ancient world, and with Jesus)

2. We must become like children. (Humility and trust in the Father)

3. God as "Abba."

4. Our relationship with "Abba." (Must be a believer)

5. Returning to the Father.

6. Benefits of being a child of God.

Certainty of future salvation.

Everyday security.

Courage to submit to unpredictable divine will.

[Much of material is from Jeremias, New Testament Theology.]

Many are shocked to learn that in the 1960’s, well after the Stalin horrors had supposedly passed, a new wave of violent suppression occurred. The legal code was changed to make it even easier to incriminate believers. This campaign was well organized and directed from Moscow. The person behind it was Nikita Khrushchev, reputed to be liberal by Soviet standards.

Some children were forcibly taken from their parents because a religious upbringing was allegedly causing them psychological damage. That mothers and fathers might be “deprived of parental rights,” as the Soviet legal papers put it, is not surprising when Khrushchev’s top ideologue in the antireligious campaign was saying as late as January 1964:

“The facts show that it is the family which is the main

center of maintaining the religious spirit… We cannot accept

that blind and ignorant people raise their children in their

own image and deform them…

We cannot and we shall not remain indifferent to the fate of children on whom their parents — fanatical believers — in reality commit an act of spiritual violence. We are not indifferent to the fact that, in the Soviet society, a family is a cell of communist education or a refuge of backward conceptions.”

Ephesians sermon series:

"CHILDREN & PARENTS" Ephesians 6:1-4

I. The status of children and parents in NJ today.

II. Noteworthy that Paul thinks of the congregation as a "church family"

III. The duty of children in a Christian family.

A. Obey parents. 6:1

B. Three grounds for obedience of Christian children:

1) Nature: obey because "this is right."

2) God's Law: obey because "it is written."

3) Christ: obey because it honors Jesus.

IV. Two practical questions:

A. Is the command to obey unconditional?

B. Who exactly are the "children"?

V. The duty of parents.

A. Restraint in using authority is urged.

B. Negative instruction. 'Paideia - training by discipline.

C. Positive instruction. Nouthesia - verbal education.

VI. Implications.

A. Christian parents should never surrender their responsibility

B. Parents need to take time and effort with their children.

C. Parents need to see their children as a spiritual opportunity.

[Most of material is from John Stott, "Ephesians: God's New Society"]

[completely different from sermon on January 9, 1983]

Moshe Rosen discusses the importance for young people to witness to their parents. His own parents disowned him because he converted from Judaism to Christianity. His father said to him, “You are never to mention Christ, the Bible, or your religion to your mother or to me, or to any of the family.” A deacon in his church told him to be a “silent witness,” and that a time would come when they would ask about his faith. Seventeen years after he accepted the reconciliation with his parents, his mother went into a Christless eternity. His father followed in another decade. “They never asked.”

There is no such thing as a “silent witness.” Being a silent witness doesn't work because the focus is on whether we can be good and righteous. Our message should not be who we are but who He is.

Letter from a young person to God:

Dear Great One,

Now that I am ten, I want to have a talk with you, please. I am just about a whole decade. And you may not believe this, but I have never been waterskiing. I think it is Time. Tell my dad to loosen up.

Love, Cheryl, age 10

According to a sociologist:

In the 18th century the goal of parents was to have their children survive to adulthood. In the 19th century, the goal of parents was for their children to get good jobs. Today in the 20th century, parents want their children to be happy.

[see also HolwickID #17818]

"The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behavior and dress."

That might have been written yesterday. In point of fact, it is an extract from a sermon preached by Peter the Hermit in 1274. The generations have never understood each other very well.

Using his parents’ love as an example, Mike Hawkins, of the Christian AIDS Network, said individuals need love and personal acceptance to break away from a homosexual lifestyle.

Hawkins’ father, Marlin, is controller for the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma. His mother, Patsy, works part-time for the BGCO. They are members of Council Road Baptist Church, Bethany.

“My parents told me they could not accept my lifestyle, but they would never stop loving me,” said Hawkins, a former homosexual who has AIDS said in an address at Oklahoma Baptist University, Shawnee. “A lot of people quoted 1 Corinthians 6:9 to me, trying to get me back on the right path, but that only made me want to stay (a homosexual) because it sounded like rejection. But they never read verse 11 to me.

“Verse 11 says I can be washed,” Hawkins said. “It says I can be free.”

Hawkins said he came to a point in his life where he believed he was born homosexual. As a pre-school child, his only playmates were girls and by the time he had started school, he could not relate to the games other boys were playing.

By the time his junior high and high school years had rolled around, he had already been labeled “queer.” He said he wanted friendships with other boys, but every time he attempted to have one, he was ridiculed.

“I desperately wanted to have male friends,” Hawkins said. “I wanted that so badly. I later mistook that as a homosexual longing. It wasn’t so much a choice, but a trap I fell into that Satan had set.”

Hawkins used the illustration of a washing machine that was sure it was a television until it looked at the instruction manual and found out differently.

“We have an instruction manual from our Creator, too. It’s the Bible. I was not born that way ... so how do I get out of it?” asked Hawkins. “I couldn’t do it. But then I realized I wasn’t supposed to do it. I was supposed to release my life to God. I work with people who are struggling to get out of that lifestyle. God can change your heart and your life when you can’t do it yourself. I stand before you today 100 percent homosexual-free by the grace of God.”

Hawkins said it was the love of his parents that first inspired him to make a change.

“No matter how much I hurt them or deliberately made them cry, they were there for me,” Hawkins said. “They told me they could not accept my lifestyle because of what God’s Word says, but they would never stop loving me.”

In December 1991, Hawkins was hospitalized with an AIDS-related disease. He and his parents, who had kept his homosexuality a secret, decided they would need the support of their friends.

“As we began to tell people, instead of the rejection we had expected, and instead of people running away from us, people came running to us,” Hawkins recounted. “The church was incredibly supportive. All those years we carried the burden alone, but when we needed Christians to be Christian, they were.

“And no one asked how this happened,” he said. “When people you know have AIDS, don’t ask them how they got it. That question sends the signal, ‘depending on how you got the disease determines how I will respond to you.’”

Hawkins said he has occasionally had trouble dealing with the fact that he has AIDS.

“I would say to God, ‘Why me? You knew beforehand that I was going to come out of this; why did you let me get this disease?’” Hawkins said. “But Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:7, that when I am weak, then I am strong. For me, AIDS doesn’t stand for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. It stands for Adventure In Divine Submission.”

________

Fink is a newswriter at Oklahoma Baptist University. Copyright (c) 1995 Baptist Press

Any parent of a teen-ager could probably tell you his kid doesn't feel the least bit awkward about dishing out advice. Moms and Dads likely bear the brunt of questionable counsel from their pubescent offspring daily.

But young people do have good advice rolling around in their noggins, and much of it is godly, according to the editor of "Living with Teenagers," a magazine for parents of adolescents produced by the Baptist Sunday School Board. That's why the team that edits the periodical gave 16 teens a chance to offer advice formally to parents through articles in the November issue.

"We think good teen-agers get sold short, and they think so too," said the magazine's editor in chief, Ellen Oldacre. "That's why we dedicated an entire issue for teen-agers to give their parents some godly advice.

"We know a lot of parents pick up this magazine every month, and we thought parents might hear advice differently if it came from a teenager they don't live with."

Oldacre acknowledged the concept of allowing teens to write the copy for the entire November issue was risky.

"It was a risk, but they did better than many of my adult writers. Every one of them sent their articles back on time," she said. "One even sent a revised version two weeks later right on deadline. He said he had reworked it and felt it was more God-led. Of course, I used it.

"Another girl was just precious. She wrote us a cover letter that asked us to please check for grammatical errors," Oldacre said.

"I've had dealings with countless writers, both amateur and professional, but I have never encountered the level of conscientiousness I found in these teens," Oldacre wrote in the issue's editor's column.

"They were prompt, prepared, insightful and honest. They are far wiser than their years and demonstrate a deep spiritual commitment to their Lord, their families and others. They are seeking to understand themselves and their parents and honestly share what they are learning." Oldacre expects the fall issue of "Living with Teenagers," written entirely by young people, to become an annual event. The 1995 edition is designed like a high school annual, she said.

The issue includes articles about family time together, conversation between adults and teens, embarrassing things parents do, how parents hurt their teens' feelings and understanding change. One teen, Lisa Marie Angotti, a senior and member of Bellevue Baptist Church, suburban Memphis, Tenn., wrote about the health struggles she and her family have encountered after she contracted Lyme disease. An active child, Angotti recounts how the first awareness she had health problems came when she was riding her bicycle as a 12-year-old.

"Our first clue was in December when one evening riding my bike up the driveway I had a sharp pain in my knees. I wondered how I'd hurt them, never realizing I was about to embark on a journey that would change the course of my life forever," she wrote. "By the end of December, a throbbing headache and crippling joint pain had become part of my existence. By January 1991, I was bedridden with unbearable pain, what I termed knives' that migrated from joint to joint." Angotti goes on to tell about the constant love and care her parents have given her since she became sick.

"When the troubles come, we must trust that God is binding our family close together with unbreakable bonds of love," she wrote.

"Unbreakable, because love never fails."

In a separate story, Nora Frost, a sophomore and member of First Baptist Church, San Antonio, Texas, writes about how families with teens can manage to have fun together.

"Family quality time was easy to do when children were small," she wrote. "The zoo and swimming were fun 10 years ago, but now school, sports, friends, hobbies and studying the opposite sex take away a big chunk of time for most teenagers."

In her advice story, Frost suggested parents get their teens' input for family outings.

"Start by having dinner, all together, (yes -- this can be achieved) and ask for various suggestions for family outings and for possible dates on which the activities may be done. Keep in mind, though, the activities don't necessarily have to be done outside the home. Remember, the key to family activities is to spend time together and enjoy each other, so spring cleaning does not count," she wrote.

"Family time is an important time for bonding," she continued. "It provides fun and family entertainment. With family bondings, parents and teens learn to appreciate each other and hopefully stop taking one another for granted."

__________________

Copyright (c) 1995 Baptist Press

A youth culture expert who visited Littleton, Colo., after the Columbine High School tragedy said adults need to recognize much teenager behavior stems from cries for help.

"The attitudes and behaviors we see aren't aimed at adults," said Walt Mueller. "They are cries for attention, affection, love, understanding, relationship and truth." What kids are looking for -- truth and stability in their lives."

A crucial mistake many Christians make is to "demonize" music, movies, video games and other things attractive to teens, Mueller said. When that happens, people become critical and aren't motivated to help, he said. "We try to take a balanced, biblical approach," said Mueller. "We want the church to be like the Good Samaritan, to go over and minister to them and meet their needs. Teens may act like they don't want us involved in their lives, but they desperately do."

Mueller listed four primary factors he sees as cries for help and practical steps adults can take:

1) CHANGING FAMILIES.

Many young people's lives are marred by brokenness and divorce, he

said.

He challenged fathers to examine their schedules, adjust them to

make time for their children and show an interest in their

activities and lives.

He also encouraged couples to evaluate the health of their

marriage and pay attention to each other before "it's too late."

2) MUSIC AND MEDIA.

This is the most powerful force filling the void left by those who

fail to be diligent parents, Mueller said.

In reality, the youthful attraction to these influences is a

search for meaning and direction, he said. Teens are seeking to

answer questions about personal identity, God and the future.

This is why parents must give their children time and listen

carefully, he said. "If we're not there to understand and direct

them to truthful answers, they will seek them from music and

media."

Teens' two major complaints are parents don't listen and don't

understand, said Mueller, the father of four children ages 6 to

15. They interpret that as rejection, which becomes resentment

and then rebellion, he said.

3) A CRISIS OF CHARACTER, expressed through MORAL RELATIVISM.

Many act as if there are no standards of right and wrong or

acceptable behavior, Mueller said. But that is really a cry for a

sense of truth, he said.

Parents need to grasp the importance of demonstrating truth

through their daily relationships, he said. "They shouldn't just

tell them right and wrong, but live it out for them. The best

approach is to live by biblical standards of right and wrong."

4) THE CRY OF HOPELESSNESS.

While this may sound foreboding, it's actually good news because

children aren't finding the answers to problems from non-Christian

sources, Mueller said.

Yet, if parents and others in the church don't deliberately and

aggressively reach out to kids, they won't have the answers, he

said.

"Fear and insecurity has a lot to do with it," he said of the

actions of killers Columbine killers Eric Harris and Dylan

Klebold. "It's a combination of a lot of things. It's not gun

control, media or music. It's all of these.

"I was saddened but not the least bit surprised," Mueller said of

the attack that shocked the nation. "It's only a matter of time

before it happens again."

Among factors he cited as creating a tough world for young people:

-- Daily, some 3,000 children see their parents' marriage end in divorce.

-- Tonight, 40 percent of the children will go to bed in a home without a

father.

-- Pressures, challenges and choices not known by previous generations.

For example, by the time they graduate, 80 percent of boys and 70

percent of girls will have had sexual intercourse. Each year, more

than 1 million girls in the United States become pregnant and more

than 2.5 million cases of sexually transmitted diseases occur among

adolescents.

-- Rates of substance abuse are skyrocketing. More than 80 percent of

today's graduating seniors have used alcohol, 42 percent smoked

marijuana and 52 percent used illicit drugs, Mueller said.

-- Suicide rates among American high school students have quadrupled in the

last four decades.

The Internet website for the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding is www.cpyu.org.

Our friend just got two beautiful new horses. The mother is half Morgan, the filly is mostly a Morgan horse - one of our favorites. The filly has a silky brown coat that is so smooth to touch and she's got this white blaze on her face that makes her look pretty striking. Of course, she's still a baby. She's still getting around on a foal's spindly legs. And it's interesting to watch the interaction between mother horse and baby horse. There are times when the mother nuzzles her filly lovingly and protectively. But there are also times when she nips her baby, usually when her little girl is doing something mom considers out of line or dangerous - like when she starts mixing with a strange horse that the mother isn't sure of.

Well, I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Nuzzles And Nips."

Apparently, little horses need both - nuzzles and nips. So do little people. And sadly, too many parents are giving a lot of one to their child and not much of the other. Some give the nuzzles, but not the nips. Some are giving a lot of nips, but not many nuzzles. Even horses know that young ones need both.

God shows the link between loving a child and disciplining a child in our word for today from the Word of God in Proverbs 3:11 and 12. He says, "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in." So, if you love your child, you'll care about how far they get. Proverbs 13:24 makes clear that "he who loves his son is careful to discipline him."

Now discipline isn't you dumping your anger on your child - that's punishment, from which they will learn little but rebellion. Discipline establishes consequences for wrong actions based on whatever consequences the child will learn the most from, and you're not going to think that through clearly when you're angry and out of control. And out of control is what so many children are today - probably because of a parent who has not laid out consistent boundaries for their child and consistent penalties for going out of bounds.

It's like sports. You can't have a game unless everyone first knows exactly where the boundaries are and what you get fouls or penalties for. And those penalties are clear before one play takes place in the game. For many children, the boundaries in their family keep moving around all the time, and they're confused about what's wrong and losing respect for authority that's all over the map. Settle in advance with your children where the boundaries are and why those boundaries are there, and what happens if you go beyond them.

A major university study a few years ago identified four kinds of parents, based on how they showed love for their children and how they controlled their children's behavior. The authoritarian parent was high in control, but low in support - lots of nips, not many nuzzles. Now, the permissive parent was low in control, but high in support - "I love you and hey, do what you please." The neglectful parent was low in both control and support. And then there was the authoritative parent, who was high in control and high in support. That would actually be a Biblical parent.

The researchers found that the parent most likely to raise a rebel against all authority was the authoritarian parent - the one who was very controlling but didn't show much love or encouragement. And the parent who produced a child who was most likely to respect authority and follow their parent's faith was the one who blends often-expressed love and affirmation with fair and consistent discipline.

Or, in simple horse sense, your child needs to be able to count on two things - lots of loving nuzzles - and the loving nip of correction when they're headed in a direction that will hurt them.

________________

Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. "Practical Answers to Real Life Issues"

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #16368]

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In recent days, the Supreme Court heard arguments in a case that pitted the rights of parents against those of grandparents. In 1993, Brad Troxel committed suicide, leaving behind two daughters. His parents wanted to maintain their close relationship with the girls, especially after the mother told them she was going to remarry. But the mother felt her in-laws' demands interfered with her rights as parent.

So the Troxels sued under a Washington statute that allows any non-parent visitation rights if the court deems it to be "in the best interest of the child." All fifty states have similar statutes. But Washington's Supreme Court overturned the law, ruling that it threatened the authority of the mother.

So the grandparents appealed to the United States Supreme Court; but if the reaction of the justices during oral arguments is any indication, the Troxels are not likely to prevail there, either. Justice Sandra Day O'Connor called the Washington law "breathtakingly broad." And Time magazine noted that under this law even nannies and soccer coaches could win visitation rights.

Ironically, this case comes to our attention just days after the Vermont Supreme Court, in order to extend benefits to same-sex couples, stripped traditional marriage of its special legal status. The court ruled, as you may recall, that any two people living together are entitled to the same legal protection as a man and woman joined together in holy matrimony. This startling decision effectively deconstructs the institution of marriage.

The juxtaposition of these two cases indicates the moral schizophrenia we have succumbed to as a society. For years we have been told that autonomy is the ultimate goal of life. People can do as they please. But this mindset has led to a rise in divorce, remarriage, and so-called blended families. And more and more states have enacted domestic partner statutes. So now we see lesbian couples adopting children, and "Heather Has Two Mommies" is a text in many schools.

But can't we see what we've done? By deconstructing the family and saying that any two adults can constitute a family, we have trivialized the very institution of marriage and destroyed the basis of society. Suddenly we're seeing all sorts of aberrations. People dissolve marriages at will, and grandparents are forced to sue for the right to see their grandchildren.

But when the courts act in the place of what used to be settled by moral consensus, we end up with the tyranny of judges and lawyers telling us what to do. The courts begin to micromanage human affairs and the result is impossible moral dilemmas like we see in this case.

Should parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit? Of course. Should grandparents be able to see their grandchildren? Again, of course. There was a time when Mom and Dad would take the kids to see Granny for Sunday dinner. Now they meet her in the courtroom.

And this is why Christians have to make a better case to our neighbors for why the traditional family is so important. If you contact us at BreakPoint, we'll provide with important material you can use.

If we fail to act, we put at risk the most essential institution of civil society and invite judicial chaos, or worse.

___________________

Copyright (c) 2000 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

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In lectures I give on anger and its control, I often ask audiences how many of them grew up in households where their parents never apologized to them, even when they did something wrong.

Thirty to forty percent of those present routinely raise their hands. In the discussions that follow, it quickly becomes apparent that the pain of never having been apologized to often is still fresh. People describe the humiliation of being forced by parents to say they were sorry when they had done something wrong, but knowing that no apology would ever be extended to them when they were the victims of their parents' unfair anger

What an awful message parents who never apologize send their children: "You don't have to seek forgiveness when you mistreat someone weaker than yourself," or, "Because I raise and support you, I can treat you as I want. I don't have to say, 'I'm sorry,' even when I'm wrong."

I once gave a lecture at which I asked the audience: "How many of you grew up in a household in which somebody's ill temper had a bad effect on the household?" Present in the audience that day were two of my daughters, then aged six and four. To my embarrassment, and to the audience's immense amusement, my six-year-old raised her hand, and the four-year-old, seeing her sister's hand go up, did as well.

Later, when I spoke to my older daughter, she explained that I often snapped at her when I was teaching her to read. I apologized for doing so ("It's wrong of me to do that. I'm really sorry. I'll try not to do that in the future, and I hope you can forgive me"). I then told her that in the future, if I became impatient, she should say to me, "Daddy, you're not supposed to get angry." Providing her with a statement to make in such a situation empowered her.

To do or say something unfair to your child is wrong, but invariably we all say unfair things to the people with whom we live. That is why learning how to apologize to your children is important. And please don't wait for the New Year or some other such occasion to seek forgiveness. There are people who do so and who then collapse their apologies into one general statement: "I'm sorry for anything I did that hurt you." That's not good enough. You need to apologize as soon as you become aware of the unfair hurt you've inflicted, and you need to make your apology specific ("I'm sorry that I screamed at you last night in front of your friends").

In the final analysis, the members of your household are the people who know best whether or not you're a mensch. And, as my experience in these workshops has shown me, of one thing you can be sure: Thirty years from now, children who grew up in households in which their parents knew how to say, "I'm sorry," will feel much better about themselves and about you.

Most of the time we as fathers are unaware of that impact. I was reminded this past week when I looked at Zachary's kindergarten report card. Under the entry, "Prints his name correctly" Zachary got a "P" for "part of the time" rather than a "M" for "most of the time." An explanatory note from the teacher said, "Zachary reverts to all capital letters frequently." Want to guess who prints in all capital letters? Guess where Zachary learned it! (I print my letters in all capitals!)

A book called “Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self” has celebrities reaching back in time to give advice to themselves.

The author Stephen King tells his 16-year-old self: “It’s simple, really, just five words: STAY AWAY FROM RECREATIONAL DRUGS.”

Alice Cooper, the bat-eating bad-boy of my generation: “Trashy girls are excitin’ for about 5 minutes. Keep your eye out for a really good lookin’ church girl. Then you’ll have the best of both worlds.”

William Shattner of Star Trek fame sounds the most like Solomon: “Live in the moment. Enjoy those feelings of inadequacy. Live in your youth, because it passes too quickly.”

________

"Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self", edited by Joseph Galliano (Atria: 2011).

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #5947]

In a ruling that has sent a shiver down many parents' spines, Italy's highest appeals court has decreed that fathers must carry on supporting adult children until they find a job to their liking.

Psychologists warned that the decision could discourage people from having children in a country whose birthrate is already one of the lowest in the world, while commentators said it could boost Italy's already high unemployment rate.

The case revolves around a wealthy family in the southern city of Naples, where the father is still paying some 774 euros ($680) a month in maintenance to a son who is in his 30s and has a university law degree. The son also has a trust fund worth some 250,000 euros ($227,000), lives in one of the smartest parts of the city, and has turned down several job offers.

But the court ruled that the father, Giuseppe Andreoli, who is a former parliamentarian and a respected Neapolitan medic, should carry on supporting his estranged son. "You cannot blame a young person, particularly from a well-off family, who refuses a job that does not fit his aspirations. The parents have to pay for their upkeep," said the court in a verdict handed down earlier this week.

Andreoli said on Friday he was shocked by the decision.

"I feel disgust for a country that I love. It wasn't always like this," he told Reuters.

"MUMMY'S BOYS"

The ruling struck a chord in Italy where almost one in three people aged between 30 and 34 still live with their parents, preferring home comforts and mothers' cooking to the challenge of striking out alone.

"This decision sets a dangerous precedent," said psychologist Gianna Schelotto. "Up until the 1980s, young people wanted emancipation from their families even if it meant going out and cleaning dishes. Today, 30-year-olds still feel young and aren't prepared to make sacrifices."

The growing reluctance to cut the apron strings has coincided with a falling birthrate, now put at less than 1.2 children per woman -- the lowest level in Italian history.

"Italy is faced by a deep cultural problem. Young people enjoy a great quality of life and enormous freedom by staying at home. Without enormous incentives, why should they leave?" said Riccardo Grassi, who works for the Milan IARD research institute which specialises in youth issues.

The problem is compounded by the fact that it often takes years to complete a university degree in Italy, graduates' starting salaries tend to be low and, unlike elsewhere in Europe, the government offers little financial help to young parents.

Labour Minister Roberto Maroni said on Thursday he was drafting a bill to offer tax cuts to newly-weds with an eye to boosting the birthrate.

But social commentators said the appeals' court ruling went in the opposite direction and would encourage children to stay at home rather than go out and find a job or start a family.

"Without seeking to, this (ruling) represents a pernicious obstacle to matrimony, which is essential to an ordered society and to the reproduction of the race," Rome's Il Messaggero newspaper thundered on Friday.

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Seven things smart parents never say:

1. You should've done it this way.

2. Is that hair on your head or are you wearing a mop?

3. You don't mean that.

4. That's the most beautiful picture I've ever seen.

5. Hey, you're a wildman.

6. Watch out you're crusin 'for a brusin'.

7. Not now.

Children respond best to those acts and words they perceive as encouraging, and worst to punishment and degrading comments, which inflict discouragement. Encouragement enables. Discouragement disables.

- Harriet Webster

Fifteen years ago, Karen was born with a debilitating condition. At the age of one year, because of surgical complications, she suffered a heart attack and was clinically dead for one hour, resulting in harm to her brain. However, with all of these challenges in her life she has grown to be a very beautiful and inspirational young lady, with a clarity that usually humbles and brings a smile to those around her.

Regardless of her condition, her greatest fear in her life has been Santa Claus, solely because of the lyric in a particular Christmas song that says, "He sees you when you're sleeping..." She has always imagined this big, red-clad, hairy-faced man watching her as she is sleeping, and it has scared her so much throughout her life that in recent years her mother has thought that she should really tell her the truth about Santa Claus, but was concerned about the disappointment that might bring.

Karen recently began having these dreams again in quite a severe manner and became so anxious and irrational about the whole thing that her mother decided, in a panic, to tell her the dreaded news. Holding Karen close and looking straight into her eyes, her mother said, "Karen, listen to me, calm down and listen to me...THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS! MOMMY IS SANTA CLAUS, MOMMY HAS ALWAYS BEEN SANTA CLAUS! You don't have to be scared anymore." Karen looked at her mother with a blank expression and went off to sleep.

The next day when Karen went to school she looked disturbed, so much so that her teacher made a point of asking her what the problem was. Karen answered in a very serious and concerned voice, "I am very worried about my mom." When the teacher asked her why, she answered in an equally serious voice, "She thinks she's Santa Claus!"

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by Brian Locke (c) 1999, from Chicken Soup for the Parent's Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Kimberly Kirberger and Raymond Aaron.