30 Sermon Illustrations on Family Values

It's possible. Dr. Ralph Minear, of the pediatrics department at Harvard Medical School, thinks we modern parents have gone overboard with most everything else. In his book Kids Who Have Too Much, he warns, "A social epidemic is endangering the physical and emotional health of our country's children. 'Affluenza,'the Rich Kids Syndrome, attacks not only the children of the wealthy but also those of middle-class and low-income families. Parents are pressuring their children into becoming over-achievers, while giving them excessive amounts of freedom, money, food, information and protection." But is there a way to affirm our children without overdosing them on overblown accolades? Here are five "don'ts" to guide us: Don't praise the kids for routinely taking care of the everyday necessities of life. Don't praise the kids in extravagant terms for average achievements. You don't have to provide opportunities for your kids to do everything. Don't console the kids when what they need is challenge. Don't take responsibility for things that aren't a parent's responsibility.

A thought that strikes deeply is this: Many times a relay race is lost in passing the baton. We don't want to fail to pass the baton of hard work and money-sense to our children simply because our life circumstances aren't forcing us to do so. Our children may well see a day when money doesn't come as easily as it does now. Their ability to sweat and scrimp may make the difference between surviving or sinking. And even if that doesn't happen, we believe knowing the joy of working hard and living simply will free them to live a happier and more God-honoring life.

Sometimes there are effects of our influence that we may never know. G. Brook Adams kept a diary from his boyhood. One special day when he was eight years old, he wrote in his diary, "Went fishing with my father; the most glorious day of my life." Throughout the next 40 years of his life he never forgot that day he went fishing with his father, he made repeated references to it in his diary, commenting on the influence of that day on his life. Brook's father was an important man; he was Charles Francis Adams, the U.S. ambassador to Great Britain under the Lincoln administration. Interestingly, he too made a note in his diary about the fishing trip. He wrote simply, "Went fishing with my son; a day wasted." Of course the day was not wasted; its value may well have proved to make it one of the most well-spent days in his life. No one can measure the influence of a man on his children, and that is all the more reason to take the job and its responsibilities seriously. Someone has written, "last night my little boy confessed to me some childish wrong; and kneeling at my knee, he prayed with tears, 'O Lord, make me a man like Daddy-wise and strong. I know you can.'Then while he slept, I knelt beside his bed, confessed my sins and prayed with low-bowed head, 'O God, make me a child like my child here; pure, guileless, trusting thee with faith sincere.'" What kind of a father are you?

Fathers and mothers have the greatest opportunity as teachers of anyone in the world. You see, that boy or girl in the home has the chance to see if Father and Mother really believe and practice what they teach. A father who says he believes in Sunday school, and then does not go himself, is teaching by his actions that he really does not feel it very important. A father who teaches love and tolerance to all and yet maintains a critical attitude in the home toward his brothers and sisters in the church is doing a wrong to his children which never in this world can be undone. It is pure poison to the mind of the child, and will most certainly be a stumbling block in the way of the child becoming a Christian. A father who says he believes the Bible to be the greatest Book, to be God's Word to us, but leaves it on the shelf to gather dust while he spends hours with the newspaper, magazines, radio and television is in reality saying, "Children, the Bible is not too important. You should read it if you have any extra time." Which one of you had not heard a little boy step proudly forward among his playmates and declare, "I KNOW that's so because my Daddy said so!" He has confidence in you, dear Dad, and the things which he sees you put first in your life are going to stand out as mighty important to him, too. Is your prayer: "Lord, fit me to be loved and imitated by my children"? A Preoccupied Father One day a small boy was taking a walk with his father. When they passed an unusual looking truck, he said, "What is that, Daddy?" "I don't know," his father said. Then they came to a large, old-fashioned warehouse, "What's in there, Daddy?" the little boy asked. "I don't know," his father replied. After they had walked on a short way in silence, the little boy turned to his father and said, "Daddy, do you mind my asking you so many questions?" "Of course not," commented his father proudly. "How else are you going to learn anything?"

They are over-protective. They show favoritism toward one of their children. They compare the accomplishments or abilities of their children. They push achievement, aims, and goals, and in so doing, put un-due pressure on their children. They do not reward or encourage their children. They fail to allow childishness; that is, they do not understand that a child is a child, and not an adult. They neglect their children's needs: spiritually, socially, intellectually and physically. They nag their children. They abuse them with hateful, ugly, and bitter words. They punish them cruelly, or when the punishment is too harsh or severe for the mistake that was made.

Once there were rich parents who left their children constantly in the care of servants. But, like the flower of the grass, riches passed by. The parents could not afford servants which necessitated their taking care of the children. One evening when the father had returned home after a busy and frustrating day at work, his little girl climbed upon his knee and twining her arms around his neck said: "Daddy, don't get rich again. You did not come into the nursery when you were rich, but now we can be with you and get on your knee and kiss you. Don't get rich again, Daddy." The Pride of Riches The moth looks like such a harmless creature. In its pearly white color it hovers about without sound at twilight, or in our dark rooms and especially in our closets where our woolen clothes are kept. It is not impertinent like the robust flies of the summer. It does not have the sting of a mosquito. It does not sound in our ears the shrill notes of the cricket. It does not nibble and gnaw like the mouse and rat, nor, as roaches do, indecently overrun our food. It is most fair, silent, and apparently harmless. Yet every housewife springs after it with electric haste. It is a dreaded pest, not for what it is but for what it does. Once a garment is moth-eaten, it is almost impossible to repair it. How true this is in the case of the proud rich. Once one begins to suffer the sickness of pride of riches, the cure is very difficult. Let us beware, for, once the moths have done their work upon us, there is hardly any hope. Let us remember, also, that the moth does its work secretly, without our realizing it; so does the pride of riches. We may be proud of the things we wear and possess without ever realizing it. How stealthily the moths work; pride of the soul even more so.

A mulatto youth one day called on a respectable gentleman of Baltimore, and, with tears in his eyes, begged for assistance. — "My father and mother," says he, "are about to sell me to Georgia." — "Your father and mother!" replied the gentlemen with surprise: "what right have they to sell you?" — "My father," answered the boy, "is a white man, Mr. —, a merchant in this place. My mother is a yellow woman. She has had several children by him, all of whom have been sold to Georgia but myself. He is this moment bargaining with a slave-trader for me." The gentleman promised his assistance, but too late; the bargain was already made. The unfortunate youth was immediately borne off, in spite of tears, execrations, and entreaties, handcuffed and chained, and driven like a brute to a distant market!

Many young ladies indulge in very nonsensical notions concerning love. They fancy themselves bound to be "smitten" with almost every silly idler who wears a fashionable coat, is tolerably good-looking, and pays them particular attention. Reason, judgment, deliberation, according to their fancies, have nothing to do with love. Hence they yield to their feelings, and give their company to young men, regardless of warning, advice, or entreaty. A father's sadness, a mother's tears, are treated with contempt, and often with bitter retorts. Their lovers use flattering words; and, like silly moths flattering round the fatal lamp, they allow themselves to be charmed into certain misery. Learn that your affections are under your own control; that pure affection is founded upon esteem; that estimable qualities in a man can alone secure the continuance of connubial love; that, if these are not in him, your love has no foundation, and will fall, a wilted flower, as soon as the excitement of youthful passion is overpast. Dr. Wise.

If ever caution is needed, it is here. Mistake is so easy; undesigned duplicity is so natural! The lady, wreathed in smiles, and moving with cautious effort to conceal defects of temper and intellect, acquires almost irresistible influence. The still small voice of the better judgment whispers, "Beware!" It suggests the lack of one adornment, the excess of a particular defect, the absence of certain desirable qualities and attainments in vain. The heart silences the cooler dictates of the mind; the question is put, the engagement made, the vows exchanged, the marriage celebrated; and the wretched parties learn, when too late, their unfitness for each other: and too often their subsequent life is miserable beyond description. Be careful, therefore, young man, at the very beginning. When a slight fondness for any lady arises, hold it in check till you have time to discover what, she is. If manifestly unfit, intellectually, morally, or socially, to be your future wife, stifle your affection, seek other society. The pain of such a resolution will bear no comparison with the agony consequent upon an imprudent marriage. Dr. Wise.

DRUNKENNESS, Beginning of "Tell me," said a gentleman to a poor drunkard, when urging him to give up the intoxicating cup, "where it was you took your first steps in this intemperate course."—"At my father's table," replied the unhappy young man. "Before I left home to become a clerk, I had learned to love the drink that has ruined me. The first drop I ever tasted was handed me by my now heart-broken mother."

There is no better heritage than a good name that a father can bequeath to his children, and there are few influences on society more wholesome than the fame of its worthies. The names of Luther, and Knox, of Hampden and Washington, of Schwartz and Eliot, are still doing good in the world. Nor is there in a family any richer heir-loom than the memory of a noble ancestor.

— Dr. J. Hamilton

The farmers of the Upper Alps, though by no means wealthy, live like lords in their houses; while the heaviest portion of agricultural labor devolves on the wife. It is no uncommon thing to see a woman yoked to the plough along with an ass, while the husband guides it. A farmer of the Upper Alps accounts it an act of politeness to lend his wife to a neighbor who is too much oppressed with work; and the neighbor, in his turn, lends his wife for a few days' work whenever the favor is requested.

— Percy

A certain farmer in Connecticut, possessing a small estate, was persuaded by his only son, (who was married and lived with his father,) to give him a deed of the property. It was accordingly executed. Soon the father began to find himself neglected; next removed from the common table, to a block in the chimney corner, to take the morsel of food reluctantly given him. At last the unnatural son resolved one day, to try to break the afflicted heart of his sire. He procured a block and began to hollow it. While at work, he was questioned by one of his own children, what he was doing. "I am making a trough for your grandfather to eat out of," was the reply. "Ah," says the child, "and when you are as old as grandfather, shall I have to make a trough for you to eat out of?" The instrument he was using fell from his hand. The block was cast on the fire; the old man's forgiveness asked, and he was restored to the situation to which his age and worth entitled him.

A mother of a family was married to an infidel who made jest of religion in the presence of his own children; yet she succeeded in bringing them all up in the fear of the Lord. She was one day asked how she had preserved them from the influence of a father, whose sentiments were so openly opposed to her own. This was her answer. Because, to the authority of a father I did not oppose the authority of a mother, but of God. From their earliest years, my children have always seen my Bi-

# 73. BLAS

There was a place in New York, called the "Hall of Science," which was opened on Sundays for public lectures: in the day-time lectures were given on some of the sciences, and in the evening a lecture was given in opposition to the Christian or any other religion, and in support of the doctrines of infidelity. In order to show the effect of this institution on the young mind, the N. Y. Evening Journal gives an extract from the register of the House of Refuge, of the progress of a boy in that institution. He was about 16 years of age, and had been a clerk for a merchant in New York, who, on declining business, expressed his great satisfaction at the conduct of the boy. An elder brother had been in the habit of attending the lectures at the Hall of Science, and by degrees became an infidel, and he instilled his notions into the mind of this boy; the consequence of which was that he threw off all restraint and united with loose young men and boys in rioting, &c.; neglected all business; wandered about the streets and slept often in stables, till finally his parents were obliged to send him to the House of Refuge, fearful that he would take to stealing to support himself. The father said that the influence of the doctrines taught at the Hall of Science had ruined his whole family of promising boys, (four in number,) and that hearts almost broken, and much mental misery, had been entailed upon the other portions of his family and relatives.