32 Sermon Illustrations on Jealousy

Love expels jealousy. — French. — Love demands faith; and faith, steadfastness. Love gives for guer- den jealousy and broken faith. It is better to have a husband without love than with jealousy. — Italian. — He that is not jealous is not in love. St. Augustine.

Two shopkeepers were bitter rivals. Their stores were directly across the street from each other, and they would spend each day keeping track of each other’s business. If one got a customer, he would smile in triumph at his rival.

One night an angel appeared to one of the shopkeepers in a dream and said, “I will give you anything you ask, but whatever you receive, your competitor will receive twice as much. Would you be rich? You can be very rich, but he will be twice as wealthy. Do you wish to live a long and healthy life? You can, but his life will be longer and healthier. What is your desire?

The man frowned, thought for a moment, and then said, “Here is my request: Strike me blind in one eye!”

One sign of jealousy is when it’s easier to show sympathy and “weep with those who weep” than it is to exhibit joy and “rejoice with those who rejoice.”

What competes with God for your affections?

When we allow anything apart from God to rule us, compel us, or control us,

we have created an idol.

1. God's view of Idolatry. Jer 2:28; Hos 13:4; Exod 20:2-5; Dt 7:5,16;

Ezek 6-11

2. Promises, Promises. 1 Cor 10:14; Ezek 14:3; Jer 14:10; 1 Tim 6:10;

Col 3:1-3, 1 Jn 2:15-17

3. Destroying the Destroyers. Ezek 14:5

a. Unveil them. Ezek 8:16

1. Our gifts.

2. Our strengths.

3. Our ministry.

4. Our productivity.

b. Repent of them. Ezek 14:6; Is 30:22

c. Return to unadulterated fellowship with God. Hos 14:1,4;

Ezek 6:9; Jer 3:12-13,22

d. Vigilantly guard against new idols. 1 Jn 5:21

4. At Rest in God.

*

Two prosperous farmers possessed adjoining farms. The families were special friends. The wife and mother of one of the families died suddenly. The other family and the neighbors were grief-stricken and did all possible to comfort the husband and help care for his children. Several small children were in the bereaved home. One day the father of the neighboring home, who was making a special effort to help, came in with the baby of the stricken family in his arms and said to his wife, “We must take this baby and rear it.” The mother was doubtful and protested, which she had a right to do. But after some heated discussion the father said, “Well, if you will not, I will.” This was probably a mistake. But the mother became very bitter and jealous. As she saw her husband caring for the beautiful baby, it was almost more than she could bear. She began to make plans to do away with the baby. One night the father had tucked it into the cradle and gone on to another room. This was her opportunity. She quickly placed the blanket tightly over the head of the baby. The next morning the father came in and found the baby dead-smothered. He was grief-stricken, but of course, he thought the baby had in some way pulled the cover over itself.

Fourteen years later this poor mother made the full confession, telling how she did the dark deed. Then she said, “I have been miserable. Conscience has haunted me. We have moved twelve times during the fourteen years. All I can see are those beautiful blue eyes looking up at me as I smothered it to death.” Carnal jealousy is fearful and the judgment will be an awful day.

________

William Moses Tidwell, “Pointed Illustrations.”

A lion, growing old, lay sick in his cave. All the beasts came to visit their king, except the Fox. The Wolf therefore, thinking that he had a capital opportunity, accused the Fox to the Lion of not paying any respect to him who had the rule over them all and of not coming to visit him.

At that very moment the Fox came in and heard these last words of the Wolf. The Lion roaring out in a rage against him, the Fox sought an opportunity to defend himself and said, “And who of all those who have come to you have benefited you so much as I, who have traveled from place to place in every direction, and have sought and learnt from the physicians the means of healing you?’

The Lion commanded him immediately to tell him the cure, when he replied, “You must flay a wolf alive and wrap his skin while it is still warm around you.” The Wolf was at once taken and flayed; whereon the Fox, turning to him, said with a smile, “You should have moved your master not to ill, but to good, will.”

Sometimes an act of jealousy or envy may come back to haunt you and defeat you.

Mendelssohn, it is said, once visited that cathedral at Fridbourg, and, having heard the great organ, went into the organ loft and asked to be allowed to play it. The old organist, in jealousy for his instrument, at first refused, but was afterward prevailed on to allow the great German composer to try the colossal “thunder” of the cathedral. And after standing by in an ecstasy of delight and amazement for a few moments, he suddenly laid his hands on the shoulders of the inspired musician and exclaimed: “Who are you? What is your name?” “Mendelssohn,” replied the player. “And can it be! that I had so nearly refused to let Mendelssohn touch this organ!”

How little the Lord’s people know what they are doing when they refuse to let Christ have full possession of their entire life and evoke the full melody and harmony of which it is capable!

W. L. Watkinson said of jealousy, “The word immediately suggests an exaggerated egotism, a readiness to infer the worst concerning man, a disposition to interpret trifles ungenerously, to begrudge the success of comrades, to taste a secret satisfaction in their failure.”

________

Herbert Lockyer, All the Divine Names and Titles in the Bible (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 1975), 73.

There is a fable of an eagle which could outfly another, and the other didn't like it. The latter saw a sportsman one day, and said to him: "I wish you would bring down that eagle." The sportsman replied that he would if he only had some feathers to put into the arrow. So the eagle pulled one out of his wing.

The arrow was shot, but didn't quite reach the rival eagle; it was flying too high. The envious eagle pulled out more feathers, and kept pulling them out until he lost so many that he couldn't fly, and then the sportsman turned around and killed him.

My friend, if you are jealous, the only man you can hurt is yourself.

--Moody's Anecdotes, Page 44-45

"Jealousy is all the fun you think they had."

Found in: Simpson's Contemporary Quotations, compiled by James B. Simpson. Copyright c 1988 by James B. Simpson. Published by the Houghton Mifflin Company.

See www.bartleby.com

Rupert Brooke (1887-1915). Collected Poems. 1916. II. 1908-1911 20. Jealousy

WHEN I see you, who were so wise and cool,

Gazing with silly sickness on that fool

You've given your love to, your adoring hands

Touch his so intimately that each understands,

I know, most hidden things; and when I know

Your holiest dreams yield to the stupid bow

Of his red lips, and that the empty grace

Of those strong legs and arms, that rosy face,

Has beaten your heart to such a flame of love,

That you have given him every touch and move,

Wrinkle and secret of you, all your life,

-Oh! then I know I'm waiting, lover-wife,

For the great time when love is at a close,

And all its fruit's to watch the thickening nose

And sweaty neck and dulling face and eye,

That are yours, and you, most surely, till you die!

Day after day you'll sit with him and note

The greasier tie, the dingy wrinkling coat;

As prettiness turns to pomp, and strength to fat,

And love, love, love to habit!

And after that,

When all that's fine in man is at an end,

And you, that loved young life and clean, must tend

A foul sick fumbling dribbling body and old,

When his rare lips hang flabby and can't hold

Slobber, and you're enduring that worst thing,

Senility's queasy furtive love-making,

And searching those dear eyes for human meaning,

Propping the bald and helpless head, and cleaning

A scrap that life's flung by, and love's forgotten,-

Then you'll be tired; and passion dead and rotten;

And he'll be dirty, dirty!

O little and free

And lightfoot, that the poor heart cries to see,

That's how I'll see your man and you!-

But you

-

Oh, when that time comes, you'll be dirty too!

From www.bartleby.com Simpson's Contemporary Quotations, compiled by James B. Simpson. 1988.

In a home where a lady had two canary cages, one on either side of a window, a visitor made some comment about the birds. Whereupon the hostess remarked that one of the canaries was exceedingly jealous. She then proved her statement. Going to the cage of the bird that was not jealous, she began petting it, calling it pretty names and chatting with it. The reaction of the other canary was remarkable. Its feathers ruffled up, it fluttered all about the cage and made angry squawks of protest. There was no question about its jealous nature. Man, too, displays a jealous nature by his actions.

”Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.” Gen 37:3-4

Joseph wasn’t the problem so much as Israel’s reaction to him. Israel doted upon his youngest (at that time) son. He “loved him more that all his sons.” I suppose there was some just cause. He was the last born son of Israel’s favorite wife (that’s another story). He gave Joseph all the advantages. While he dressed the other sons well, he made Joseph special clothes. It’s like buying most of your children clothes from KMart (a discount store in the States) while buying your favorite child only designer garments from the fanciest store in town. It will always cause problems.

Joseph’s brothers were jealous — and rightfully so. (You could say they had “older brother syndrome” — “you never killed a fatted calf for me!”) They already had a severe disliking for their youngest sibling. Joseph didn’t help matters much by relaying his dreams of his prominence to his brothers. Really now, why should they bow down to him? Here’s the problem. If you openly exalt one child over another, you will invariably damage all of them. It’s a fact. Look at the trouble that arose from Israel’s favoritism. Hatred, distrust, contemplated murder, slavery, imprisonment, suffering, loss, lying. All of these things resulted from this misplaced “love”.

Sure, good came of it. Joseph survived the suffering. Israel survived the loss of his favorite son. Murder was avoided because reason prevailed. The family was ultimately saved because of Joseph. That doesn’t mean all the decisions were right — all that happened was the way God wanted it. But it worked out.

Parents, I encourage you to learn from Israel’s error. Do your best to treat all your children equally — give them all the love they need. Don’t squander your love on one at the expense of the others. Israel would probably be the first to tell you that the suffering, the pain, of this mistake is severe. It is better to love all and have all than to love one over the other and lose all. This advice can apply to many other situations as well. Teachers, take note. Preachers, take note. Employers, take note. All of us need to take note and avoid this pitfall. It leads to trouble. Amen

One day the devil was crossing the African desert when he came across a group of small devils who were tempting a holy hermit. They tried him with the seductions of the flesh, all to no avail, then they began to sow doubts and fear in his mind, but the holy man stood firm. As a last resort they surrounded him with creature comforts and told him that his austerities were only a waste of time. But the hermit would not be moved.

The devil stepped forward and drew his assistants aside. He told them their methods would never succeed. “Just watch me,” he said.

Coming up to the hermit he said, “Have you heard the news? Your brother has been made Bishop of Alexandria.”

The fable says that on hearing this a scowl of malignant jealousy clouded the serene face of the holy man.

________

James A. Feehan, "Story Power!" (San Jose, CA: Resource Publications, Inc, 1994), pp. 50-51

The following is part of an answer I sent to a young lady who wrote a long letter about her trials and bitter disappointments in serving in church music. I am using it today because there may be others who have taken a beating while trying to serve the Lord and who are struggling with defeat.

“Sharon (not real name) — our hearts go out to you. Betty and I have had a long career together in church music — 50 years. In that time we’ve been very fortunate — we’ve had only two pastors who were total disappointments — both had personal problems with personality. Pastors, too, are human, and when they got saved, God didn’t necessarily give them a totally different personality. We have to accept that and not be defeated when we discover that they may not be the super saints we thought they should be.

Since you have had problems in a number of situations, you may want to also examine your own personality and motives to see if there is something you can correct to help solve the problem. It is very important to remember that when you are an “up-front person”, you have to bend over backwards to remain humble and not give any impression that looks like pride. It’s a constant battle, and it can sneak up on you.

Jealousy can easily be a problem with any choir. For this reason, I don’t favor today’s “in thing” praise team concept (just my opinion). When you pick out a few for that purpose, psychologically you are telling the remaining choir that these people are better. That opens the door for jealousy and bitterness which you and your husband may have experienced.

The important thing to remember through all this is to keep your confidence in Christ and not in man. Man will often disappoint you, but Jesus — never. Psalm 94:18-19 (niv): “When I said, ‘my foot is slipping,’ your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Make those verses your very own and let God help you to turn your “peeves into pearls.” Never give up!”

You know those goody-two-shoes who volunteer for every task and thanklessly take on the annoying details nobody else wants to deal with?

That’s right: Other people really can’t stand them.

Four separate studies led by a Washington State University social psychologist have found that unselfish workers who are the first to throw their hat in the ring are also among those that coworkers most want to, in effect, vote off the island.

“It’s not hard to find examples but we were the first to show this happens and have explanations for why,” said Craig Parks, lead author of “The Desire to Expel Unselfish Members from the Group” in the current Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

The phenomenon has implications for business work groups, volunteer organizations, non-profit projects, military units, and environmental efforts, an interest of Parks’ coauthor and former PhD student, Asako Stone.

Parks and Stone found that unselfish colleagues come to be resented because they “raise the bar” for what is expected of everyone. As a result, workers feel the new standard will make everyone else look bad.

It doesn’t matter that the overall welfare of the group or the task at hand is better served by someone’s unselfish behavior, Parks said.

“What is objectively good, you see as subjectively bad,” he said.

The do-gooders are also seen as deviant rule breakers. It’s as if they’re giving away Monopoly money so someone can stay in the game, irking other players to no end.

The studies gave participants -- introductory psychology students -- pools of points that they could keep or give up for an immediate reward of meal service vouchers. Participants were also told that giving up points would improve the group’s chance of receiving a monetary reward.

In reality, the participants were playing in fake groups of five. Most of the fictitious four would make seemingly fair swaps of one point for each voucher, but one of the four would often make lopsided exchanges -- greedily giving up no points and taking a lot of vouchers, or unselfishly giving up a lot of points and taking few vouchers.

Most participants later said they would not want to work with the greedy colleague again -- an expected result seen in previous studies.

But a majority of participants also said they would not want to work with the unselfish colleague again. They frequently said, “the person is making me look bad” or is breaking the rules. Occasionally, they would suspect the person had ulterior motives.

Parks said he would now like to look at how the do-gooders themselves react to being rejected. While some may indeed have ulterior motives, he said it’s more likely they actually are working for the good of an organization.

Excluded from the group, they may say, “enough already” and simply give up.

“But it’s also possible,” he said, “that they may actually try even harder.”

________

Original title: "Do-Gooders Get Voted Off Island First: People Don’t Really Like Unselfish Colleagues, Psychologists Find." No author given.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:3-8, NIV).

A young minister was invited to give his first sermon. When the moment arrived, he walked proudly to the pulpit with his head held high, radiating self-confidence. But he stumbled reading the Scriptures and then lost his train of thought halfway through the message. He began to panic, so he did the safest thing: He quickly ended the message, prayed and walked dejectedly from the pulpit, his head down, his self-assurance gone.

Later, one of the godly elders whispered to the embarrassed young man, “If you had gone up to the pulpit the way you came down, you might have come down the way you went up.”

With His life, Jesus taught us tremendous lessons about humility. Paul tells us in Philippians 2 that Jesus made himself nothing.

Jesus refused to parade His superiority. Instead He taught, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).

Servant

Jesus made himself nothing by becoming a servant. He demonstrated this in John 13. The disciples had come to eat the Passover meal, and there was no servant to wash the disciples’ feet. Jesus took off His outer robe, clothed himself in a towel, took a basin of water, and began to wash their dirty, smelly feet. Imagine the awkward silence that filled the room. Peter broke the silence by refusing to let Jesus wash his feet. Jesus assured him this was part of God’s plan. So Peter relented. Jesus finished all 12 disciples — including Judas — and returned to the table. Jesus was saying we should make ourselves servants — to touch people’s lives and meet their needs.

Jesus was not after position. He was the Master...they were students. Can I willfully serve those who may appear to be below me on some ladder of social importance? Jesus was not after recognition. Our ego will sometimes use humility as a means of self-promotion. Jesus never practiced this. There was no award for washing feet. Am I willing to serve without expectation of recognition?

Jesus was totally secure in who He was. The key to Christ’s ability to wash feet is: “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God” (v. 3). Jesus understood where He came from, where He was going, and what He had. That’s a good formula for overcoming insecurity – understand that our worth has come from our Heavenly Father, that we are going to spend eternity with Him, and that He has entrusted us with His authority. With that sense of understanding we can be free to wash feet.

Jealousy

Jesus made himself nothing by refusing jealousy. In Mark 9, we get an insight into Jesus’ view on competition. The account begins with the disciples feeling a little concerned that someone is cutting in on their operation. There is a person who is not one of the chosen who is going around casting out demons in the name of Jesus. The disciples tell the man to stop. John informs Jesus that they have taken care of this fellow.

Much to John’s surprise, Jesus does not give him an award of merit but a rebuke. Jesus says, “Do not stop him” (Mark 9:39). Jesus was thrilled that the kingdom of darkness was losing and the kingdom of heaven was advancing.

Here’s the test for you: Do I rejoice when others are blessed?

A few years ago I struggled with this question when a pastor in my area was experiencing tremendous growth. I was working hard and this new kid on the block was blowing everything away. His church was twice the size of mine in less than two years — I had been working for five years. Then God told me I had to start praying for this brother to be blessed even more. I disagreed with his philosophy. It took months for me to be able to honestly pray for God to bless him. The lesson was painful but effective. When I learned to honestly rejoice in his growth, God began to bless our work as well. The war with jealousy is never won — there are always new battle-fronts. That’s why I must keep a daily prayer closet. Humility and jealousy can never coexist.

Judging

Jesus made himself nothing by refusing to be judgmental.

This is illustrated in John 8, when men interrupted Jesus’ teaching by bringing in a woman who the religious leaders said was caught in the act of adultery. Case closed; she deserves to die. It is right there in the Law. What do You say?

Jesus writes in the sand.

Come on, Jesus. What should we do with someone caught in the obvious act of sin?

Jesus speaks. “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her” (v. 7). Jesus goes back to sand writing.

Interrogation over. Awkward exit of accusers.

Jesus stands. Looks around. Speaks. “Woman, where are they?” They are gone. “Then neither do I condemn you!”

Another illustration is in Luke 9:51-56. Jesus and the disciples are on their way to Jerusalem. Jesus sends some to a Samaritan village to get things prepared. The people of the village refuse to welcome them. James and John are indignant and ask permission to call down fire from heaven to destroy the village. Jesus rebukes James and John and simply goes to another village.

There have been occasions in my ministry when I knew that vengeance belongs to God, but I wanted to be His hand extended. There were people who were saying things and doing things and needed to be set straight. I felt I should be the one. But God hasn’t yet released me to be His spiritual enforcer. Humility means I don’t have to correct everyone.

Trusting

Jesus made himself nothing by trusting the Father’s timing. Back in Philippians 2, Jesus humbled himself and became obedient to death; then God highly exalted Him. Travel with me to the cross. Suspended between heaven and earth is the Son of God. Unjustly tried and sentenced, He is brutally pinned to the wood by three nails. His body is beaten and torn. Each breath is a painful struggle. He gathers enough strength for one last statement, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (Luke 23:46). And then it is over.

The key word is “commit.” According to Strong’s Bible Dictionary, the word can be translated “to deposit as a trust or for protection.” Jesus was saying to the Father, “I deposit myself as a trust for You to protect.” Jesus chose to trust the Father with the outcome.

Self-ego often wants to help God out when it seems that nobody notices our sacrifice, service or efforts. Yet Jesus showed us that true humility can trust God for the outcome.

One day many years ago I sat in a cafeteria with my father sharing some unpleasant news. I will never forget his words: “Darius, your number one job is keeping your heart right with God. God will take care of who is right and wrong.” I was learning that day to trust God’s timing.

Have you learned to humble yourself before God and trust His timing in your life? In an age when everyone seems to demand his or her rights, the life of Jesus provides a dramatic contrast. It is time to return to Christ’s example – we must lay down our robes of pride, jealousy and prejudice. Then we can learn to trust God with the outcome. The world is waiting to see Jesus through us.