Sermon Illustrations on Father — page 2

How Well Do You Know Your Father?

Whether or not your father is alive, or present in your life, you can explore your relationship with him by asking yourself these questions. Give yourself a point for each one you can answer.

1) What are your father’s hobbies?

2) What makes him laugh?

3) What kind of relationship did he have with his father?

4) Who are his heroes, and why?

5) What was one of the scariest–or the happiest–moments in his life?

6) Who was his best friend when he was a boy?

7) How old was he when he first fell in love?

8) Under what circumstances did he meet your mother?

9) What was his greatest disappointment?

10) What financial constraints or conditions have affected him?

11) What does he like about himself?

12) What does he like about you?

13) What has he tried but failed to do?

14) What is one bad habit he has tried to break?

15) What was he doing when you were being born?

If you scored 10-15 points: Congratulations!! Either you have a close relationship with your father, or you have already given a lot of thought to understanding him, perhaps as a way of resolving issues in your own life. What else would you like to know about your father? What would you like him to know about you?

If you scored 5-10 points: You are on your way to knowing your father. If it’s possible, ask him the questions you were unable to answer — or ask family members or friends.

If you scored 0-5 points: Your father is somewhat of a stranger, perhaps because you have a very formal relationship, or perhaps because his absence or death prevented you from knowing him. Still, you might seek out other people who can shed light on your father’s role in your life — and help relieve any confusion or doubts that may be hurting you.

What Makes A Dad? - [poem] - See #24646

God took the strength of a mountain,

The majesty of a tree,

The warmth of a summer sun,

The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature,

The comforting arm of night,

The wisdom of the ages,

The power of the eagle’s flight,

The joy of a morning in spring,

The faith of a mustard seed,

The patience of eternity,

The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,

When there was nothing more to add,

He knew His masterpiece was complete,

And so, He called it … Dad

Good Dads

Hebrews 12:3

Read: Hebrews 12:3-15

Pursue peace with all people … lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble. — Hebrews 12:14-15

Bible In One Year: Nehemiah 10-11; Acts 4:1-22

Columnist Leonard Pitts Jr. grew up with a father he describes as physically present but emotionally absent. In his first book on parenting, Pitts openly chronicles his struggle to come to terms with his alcoholic father and the climate of fear he had created in their home. Pitts challenges all men to resolve the resentment toward their absent or abusive fathers instead of passing it on to the next generation.

There’s a passage in Hebrews 12 that applies to all Christians, but it has special relevance to dads. It reads: “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (vv.14-15).

Think of what could happen in our families if we emptied our hearts of bitterness and made peaceful relationships our goal! If we have been blessed with a wise and loving father, we should be grateful and follow his example. But if our father has failed us, we must rely on God’s grace, resolve our anger toward him, and strive to be the kind of dad we never had. It won’t be easy, but with our heavenly Father as a perfect example, we can learn to be good dads. — DCM

A faithful father leads by love

With tender firmness from above,

For he himself has learned from God

The lessons of His chastening rod. — DJD

A good father reflects the love of the heavenly Father.

A Father's Decision

After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church’s pastor once again slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit, and gave a very brief introduction of his childhood friend. With that, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit to speak, “A father, his son, and a friend of his son were sailing off the Pacific Coast,” he began, “when a fast approaching storm blocked any attempt to get back to shore. The waves were so high, that even though the father was an experienced sailor, he could not keep the boat upright, and the three were swept into the ocean.”

The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began, looking somewhat interested in his story. He continued, “Grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of his life … to which boy he would throw the other end of the line. He only had seconds to make the decision. The father knew that his son was a Christian, and he also knew that his son’s friend was not.

The agony of his decision could not be matched by the torrent of waves. As the father yelled out, ‘I love you, son!’ he threw the line to his son’s friend. By the time he pulled the friend back to the capsized boat, his son had disappeared beyond the raging swells into the black of night. His body was never recovered.”

By this time, the two teenagers were sitting straighter in the pew, waiting for the next words to come out of the old man’s mouth. “The father,” he continued, “knew his son would step into eternity with Jesus, and he could not bear the thought of his son’s friend stepping into an eternity without Jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed his son. How great is the love of God that He should do the same for us.” With that, the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence filled the room.

Within minutes after the service ended, the two teenagers were at the old man’s side. “That was a nice story,” politely started one of the boys, “but I don’t think it was very realistic for a father to give up his son’s life in hopes that the other boy would become a Christian.”

“Well, you’ve got a point there,” the old man replied, glancing down at his worn Bible. A big smile broadened his narrow face, and he once again looked up at the boys and said, “It sure isn’t very realistic, is it?”

“But I’m standing here today to tell you that THAT story gives me a glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up His Son for me. You see … I was the son’s friend.”

________

Holwick: TruthorFiction.com believes this story is fiction; it has appeared in several forms over the years. See http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/m/mysonsfriend.htm#.UnhuW1OzvSg

Facing Challenges With My Father

When I was first learning how to sail my dad’s sailboat out of Lake Michigan, he would often say to me, “Go ahead and take the boat out, but take a friend with you.”

A 42-foot sailboat on a body of water the size of Lake Michigan is a big responsibility. But always up for a challenge, I’d find a junior high friend to accompany me, and we’d sail past the breakwater, hoist the sails, and head out to open water. But as soon as I’d see any cloud formation coming our way or the wind seemed to be piping up, I’d head back towards shore, take the sails down, and regain my normal breathing pattern only when we were safely tied up in the slip. Most of the time, it was fun having a friend along, but in a storm I knew this kid wouldn’t be much help.

Other times, however, my dad would come home from work and we’d go out together. When I was sailing with my dad, I’d actually look for cloud formations and hope for heavy air. I loved the feel of the strong winds and huge waves!

My dad had sailed across the Atlantic Ocean. He had endured five days of sailing through a hurricane. He was a veteran, and I was confident that he would be able to handle anything Lake Michigan could throw at us. Everything changed when my dad was on board.

My Father

My father had given me so much, in so many ways, and now I wanted to give something to him. How about the 100-meter gold medal from 1984? It is the one thing I could give him to represent all the good things we did together, all the positive things that had happened to me because of him. I had never before taken any of my medals out of the bank vault where I kept them. But that day, on the way to the airport, I stopped at the bank to get the medal, and I put it in the pocket of my suit jacket. I would take it to New Jersey — for Dad.

The day of the funeral, when our family was viewing the body, I pulled out the medal to place in my father’s hand. My mother asked me if I was sure I wanted to bury the medal, and I was. It would be my father’s forever. “But I’m going to get another one,” I told my mother. Turning to my father, I said, “Don’t worry. I’m going to get another one.” That was a promise — to myself and to Dad. He was lying there so peacefully, his hands resting on his chest. When I placed the medal in his hand, it fit perfectly.

Today I Didn't Do It

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, “What happened here today?”

She again smiled and answered, “You know how every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

She answered, “Well, today I didn't do it.”

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When the Captain Is Not At the Helm

Genesis 16:1

It was the largest oil spill in American history - and it was, in a sense, largely the fault of one man. The tanker Exxon Valdez, remember, ran aground on a reef in Alaska's Prince William Sound. The resulting oil spill did incalculable damage to the local fishing industry, to the environment in that very majestic piece of America, and to a lot of wildlife. The Commander of the Coast Guard said the passage there is ten miles across. He said, “So wide, your children could pilot a tanker through there!” So how did it happen? Well, an unlicensed third-mate was on the bridge that day, piloting the vessel. He was where the captain should have been. The captain was down below! That disaster happened because the man who should have been on the bridge wasn't!

Well, I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about “When The Captain Is Not At The Helm.”

In our word for today from the Word of God, we see what happens when the captain of a family forfeits the helm. As we look at the story in Genesis 16:1, remember that God has promised the captain of this family, Abram, that he and his wife Sarai are going to miraculously have a son in their old age. A son from whom a nation will come, and the son who they have been waiting for a while.

“Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, 'The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her.’ Abram agreed to what Sarai said.”

Well, in essence, the captain of this family abandoned the helm and he let his wife call the shots. Thus, Ishmael was conceived and born - and from him, the Arabic people in the world today. Thirteen years later, elderly Sarai is miraculously pregnant (just as predicted) with Isaac, the child God promised in His time -- the child from whom the Jews have come. The result of Abram's forfeiture of leadership: bitter wars in his own family, and throughout the centuries and into our world today.

There is a Biblical principle underscored in this negative example from scripture and it's this -- the buck for the family stops with the man. You can see it in Ephesians 5 where the husband is portrayed as the Christ-figure in the family, who leads with self-sacrificing love. You can see it in the Garden of Eden when God holds Adam responsible for the sin his wife initiated. You can see it when Sarah laughs at God's promise of a son, and God comes asking Abram why his wife reacted in unbelief.

When you stand before the Lord, you can be sure who the Lord will ask about what happened in your family - the husband, the father, the captain. In our world, a lot of families are drifting because the captain is down below, forfeiting the leadership God insists He is responsible for.

If you're the man of the family, take stock: Are you taking the lead in keeping your family focused on the Lord? Are you leading your family in making decisions, or are you avoiding the tough choices? Are you facing the fact that many of the things that frustrate you in your wife may be because of needs you're not meeting? In family finances, in decision-making, in spiritual things, in keeping communication going - God says the husband, the Dad, is the captain.

When the captain is not at the helm - families go aground, and the results are very costly.

________________

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Put Them In the Car Seat, Then Put Them In the Car

Mark 6:5

It happened around noon on Mother's day. According to a national news report, twenty-seven-year-old Michael Murray decided to take his two children to the medical center where their mother was on duty as a surgical nurse. The family wanted to drop off some Mother's Day presents: a gold necklace with the words “Number 1 Mom,” and a single rose. With their mission accomplished the father and his two children made their way back to the darkened indoor garage where the car had been parked.

Murray gently set the infant seat and three-month-old Matthew on the sunroof of the car and turned his attention to buckling Matthew's twenty-month-old sister into her seat and drove off, forgetting that Matthew was still on the roof. Moving slowly from the darkened garage into the bright sunlight, Murray drove through busy streets toward Interstate 290. Despite heavy traffic, nobody beeped or waved to warn him that anything was wrong. Pulling onto the expressway that cuts through the city, the driver accelerated to 50 miles-per-hour and then he heard it, a scraping on the roof of the car as the tiny seat with Matthew strapped in began to slide. He said, “I looked to where Matthew should have been in the car, and then in the rear view mirror I saw him sliding down the highway in his infant seat. “That's where he landed. In the middle of the interstate, in the path of oncoming traffic....”

The car seat flew off the roof and hit the road and was sliding down the highway almost as fast as the cars were coming toward it. An antique dealer named James Boothby was following the Murray car when he saw the whole event unfold right before his eyes. He saw young Matthew sail off the roof and hit the road. He said: “I saw something in the air. At first I thought someone had thrown some garbage out the window. Then I saw it and thought it was a doll. Then the doll opened its mouth and I realized this was a little baby. It just landed on the road and slid along a bit. I slammed on my brakes and turned my car around in the lane so that no other cars could go by. I jumped from the car, and I ran and found an uninjured baby in an undamaged car seat, and scooped him up in my arms and took him back and gave him to his petrified father.

The story is hailed as being an example that miracles, true miracles still happen today. However, I can go one better than that. Any time a person calls out in true and sincere sorrow over his or her sins and invites Jesus Christ into his or her heart, that is an even greater miracle.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate in KeruxID 25837-26027]

The Link Between Satan and Santa Claus

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"

The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."

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Father To the Finish

Deuteronomy 1:29

Many of the world's greatest dramas are not on a stage, not on a screen. They are played out in that quadrennial spectacle we call “The Olympics.” Maybe you remember the year that there was this image that many of us will never forget. Britain's representative in the 400-meter race was Derek Redmond, and he began to falter. He went down in the backstretch with a torn right hamstring, and as the medical attendants were approaching, Derek Redmond fought his way to his feet and then he started out again in anguish - he was hopping. He was desperately trying to finish the race. He knew he wouldn't win. He was just trying to finish.

And maybe you remember when he reached that final stretch, a large man in a T-shirt forced his way out of the stands and ran up to Derek and hugged him. Now that big man was Jim Redmond, Derek's father. And he said to him, “Son, you don't have to do this.” Gritting his teeth and with tears in his eyes, his son said, “Yes, I do.” And his father said, “Well then, we're going to finish this together.” And Derek's head sometimes was buried in his father's shoulder, but he stayed in his lane with his father's help until the end. And when they crossed that finish line, the crowd who had been stunned at first stood to their feet. They howled and they wept as those two men finished that race together.

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about “Father to the Finish.”

Our word for today from the Word of God is a simple statement from Deuteronomy 1:29. It says this: “The Lord your God carried you as a father carries his son all the way you went until you reached this place.”

Maybe today you're really tired. You're banged up. Maybe you're pretty stressed out, and like that 400-meter runner in the Olympics, you're staggering right now. You're having a hard time finishing your race. You started well and you've been running real hard, but you're about to go down, aren't you? Maybe you've been hit by discouragement, or illness, maybe by family trouble, maybe by a lack of support. It could be that there are obstacles, pain, or you're just hurting, and there is still a lot more race ahead of you.

God wants to give you the good news that someone has left the stands to help you, and He's coming to the track to get you the rest of the way. It is your Father. It's your Heavenly Father. First, God left the stands to come to the cross, and there He rescued us from the sin wounds that would have kept us from heaven. There's a rich promise here that when you're in the desert, you can't go on - the resources are dried up. You say, “Daddy, I can't go any farther.” He says, “Then I'll carry you.”

Right now you're not going to make it alone, but today there's still an all-powerful Father who offers to carry you. But you have to let Him. If you are too proud to collapse in His arms, to surrender to His control, then your power is limited. You're not going to make it. But if you'll totally release the control, and in the words of the Bible, “humble yourself,” you'll have all of your Father's power.

Even little children know where the power is. They sing it in that little song “Jesus Loves Me” - “They are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me.” Each of us reaches days when we just don't have any more to give, and maybe you're there right now. It's those moments in the race that can take you deeper into the love and the power of Jesus than you've ever been before.

If you don't know that you belong to Him, you've never needed to belong to Him more. Your Father is not a spectator in the stands. He wants to put His arm around you right now where you are and say to you, “We're going to finish this together.”

________

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How To Lead A Family Devotion

Proverbs 22:6

In 30 years of working with men, no pain men face seems to hurt as much as “child pain.” On the other hand, if your children are doing well, all of your other problems will fit into a thimble.

Now that I have two grown, happily married children who are walking with the Lord, I can look back and see what set the stage for their spiritual walks. One VERY important activity was to set aside a time for a brief family devotion at the beginning of most days during the school year. It was not so much the activity itself as the “message” about how important Patsy and I deemed devotions, the discussions that it got our family into, and the spirit of prayer it fostered both then and now.

I wrote up how we did our family devotions for the book, Devotions For Couples, (Zondervan). Here is an edited version of that chapter....

As my personal ministry I teach a large Bible study on Friday mornings. No small commitment, I usually spend fifteen hours a week on this ministry, most of which is preparing the message.

One day it fell on me like a heavy boulder. You are giving your very best thinking to these men, most of whom will not be in your life more than a few years. Meanwhile, you are doing nothing for your very own children -- the ones you love the most and who most need you.

I reasoned that if I was going to share biblical truths with others that I should also share them with my family. So we began holding a fifteen minute family devotion just before the kids left for school.

We did not even begin to attempt this every day. I have a standing Friday morning commitment, and the kids from time to time needed to leave early or were running especially late (I say “especially” because they were always at least a little late!). So we usually made it three or four mornings a week.

We only did devotions during the school year. During the summer we took a break. It’s good for kids (and dads) to have a break. Besides, they got up at different times during summers.

How did we do it? On a typical morning, we would start at 7:00 a.m. and end at 7:15 a.m. Do I need to mention that many times the kids were not ready at 7:00? It didn’t matter. Instead of delaying the devotion, we had them stop what they were doing for 15 minutes. We put the dog in her bed and didn’t answer the phone (yes, it would ring from time to time).

From the start I tried to set an upbeat, enthusiastic tone, although sometimes I didn’t feel that way myself. I tried to hook them with a story, quote, or question that related to their world and interests. Some were better than others. Next, I related the point of the opening hook to the Bible. Next, I pointed out the spiritual principle and how it could apply to us that day. Finally, I closed off with a question or asked if they have a comment. I allowed about ten minutes for all of this. It would have been just as effective to simply read from a youth devotional like “Youth Walk” (check with a Christian book store).

After the Bible portion of the devotion we closed in prayer. In the early days it became clear that the prayers were shallow and self-centered: “Lord, let us have a good day and bless our family.” So we changed formats and began to pray for one needy or hurting person each day in addition to personal and family needs. This request could be suggested by any of us — the kids, Patsy, or me. They could be a youth, an adult, or a family. The problems were usually related to health, finance, or broken relationships. It was not necessary that everyone in the family knew the person we prayed for personally.

We got off to a rocky start. I didn’t pay close enough attention to the time, and made them run late on several occasions (they received detentions if they were late for school). Several sessions ended with a stormy conclusion! Finally, my wife had the idea for me to keep a travel clock in the top drawer of the end table next to where I would sit. I would watch the time and, just before we prayed, I would tell the kids exactly what time it was so they could relax. This was a small, but very practical consideration.

From time to time our daughter, who is older, would read something that touched her and ask if she could do the devotion. Usually that was at the last minute after I had already prepared something, but I always eagerly said yes to her initiative. (We could always do mine the next day!)

Patsy and I had a desire to disciple our children so that they can disciple others. Letting them lead helped train them. When I was away on a trip I had one of the kids take over for me. This was helpful. Today, both of our grown children lead Bible studies.

Most mornings they didn’t start out looking very interested. This was hard to get used to. If the hook was moving or especially relevant they got into it, but not always. Many mornings their eyes look glazed over and I wondered if it was worth all the effort.

My daughter attended a small discipleship group of teenaged girls led by a woman in our church. She told my wife one day, “I don’t know what you do in those family devotions, but often when I ask a question, Jen says, `Well, my dad says this,’ or `My dad says that.’ She makes great contributions to our group. That must be a special time!”

After hearing that, I stopped wondering if it was worth the effort! Why not give it a try! “Routinize” daily devotions into your family life. Set realistic expectations. If you have a couple of false starts, don’t abandon the idea. Is it too bold to suggest that the spiritual health of your children may be at stake?

Establish them in this habit when they are young, and they will mostly likely stick with it when they grow up. The Bible puts it this way: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

If not this method, then find something else you can do to “routinize” daily devotions into the lives of your children. If you do, all of your other problems will fit into a thimble.

AN ACTION PLAN

STEP 1: Read and discuss this article with your wife and decide what you want to do.

STEP 2: Ask your children for their input about how to make this idea work for them.

STEP 3: Set your first daily devotion. Consider 15 minutes as a guideline.

STEP 4: Follow or adapt this format....

• START ON TIME: it sends a good message for all of life.

• TONE: upbeat, positive attitude.

• HOOK: a story, quote, or question related to their world and interests.

• BOOK: relate the hook to a Bible verse.

• PRINCIPLE: relate the biblical principle back to their world.

(take about 8 to 10 minutes on this point)

• QUESTION OR COMMENT: involve them with a question, or by inviting a

comment.

• PRAYER: involve your children in praying for the fate of the world and

specific people in the world.

• END ON TIME: to keep them from getting flustered.

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I'm Riding With Mom

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, “How will we keep from getting separated?”

“We'll drive slow so one car can follow the other,” I reassured him.

“Yeah, but what if we get separated?” he persisted.

“Then I guess we'll never see each other again,” I quipped.

“Okay,” he said, “I'm riding with Mom.”

________

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Leave A Spiritual Inheritance

Proverbs 13:22

“A good man,” Proverbs 13:22 says, “leaves an inheritance to his children's children.” Leaving a material and financial inheritance in a wise manner is good stewardship and can be a great blessing to your heirs. But have you considered ways to leave an inheritance to your family that will have a more direct spiritual impact on them?

Our spiritual lives aren't lived for ourselves only. We also bear responsibility to influence others spiritually, especially the members of our own families. To that end, here are a few items to leave as spiritual time capsules with the belief that they will bless many generations of your descendants.

PRAYERS. The beloved old Bible commentator Matthew Henry said somewhere that wise parents are more concerned about leaving a treasury of prayers for their children than a treasury of silver and gold. God can answer long after we are dead the prayers we bring to His throne today for our children and future generations. King Hezekiah's wicked son, Manasseh, repented and turned to the Lord many decades after Hezekiah died (see 2 Chronicles 33:12-19), but no doubt the father left behind a rich inheritance of prayers to God for his wayward boy. You may want to preserve some of your prayers for your descendants in letters or journals.

JOURNALS. One hundred years from now, quite possibly all that will be known of you will be from photographs or videos and from what you write. Despite your decades of life and labor, few, if any, of even your direct descendants a century from today will know anything about your spirituality. (What do you know about the inner life of your ancestors who, just 1,200 months ago, were as alive as you are now?) Leave your heirs a clear, written testimony of how you came to know God through Jesus Christ. Provide them with a record of answers to prayer, remarkable providences, significant spiritual events and other works of God in your part of their family history. Write letters to your descendants, urging them to trust Christ, to maintain a Christian heritage in the family, and to meet you in heaven. Make a list of books that have influenced you.

BOOKS. Leave a library -- especially of Christian books -- for your children and their children. The Lord may use the books to bring them to Christ and to give solid guidance to their spiritual lives long after you are gone. Collect good books for your children or grandchildren even before they are born. I often bought books (both Christian and general reading) for my daughter, Laurelen, years before she could enjoy them. In fact, I started buying books for her future children when she was just 6 years old. So if I find a bargain on boys' books, I'll buy them -- even though Laurelen will probably never read them -- in anticipation of having grandsons someday. Who knows whether some of the great old used books I find for them today will still be available or affordable by then?

DAILY PLANNERS. If you have the space, archive your daily planners. These reflect how you've spent your time and, combined with your journals, provide a fairly complete biography of your adult life.

Of course, your most immediate spiritual legacy is the life you live before the watching eyes of your children and grandchildren. However, some (all?) of your grandchildren or great-grandchildren may never know you personally. But if you leave them a rich spiritual inheritance, they may say of you, “He being dead still speaks” (Hebrews 11:4).

________

Don Whitney is associate professor of biblical spirituality at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.

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Supply Wants Or Meet Needs?

Matthew 6:8

Your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him. — Matthew 6:8.

‘Your Father!” If God is our Father, we can rest in His infinite love and wisdom. He knows what we need. What we want is another matter. He has not promised to supply all our wants, but He has guaranteed to meet all our need. He knows that need before we ask Him. He could supply that need without our asking Him to do so, but He would encourage us to come into His presence in confident, believing prayer, spreading out our need before Him. It is thus that He not only meets our need but keeps us in touch with Himself. — H. K. Downie.

His eye foresees our greatest good, while we at best are weak;

And thus in wisdom He withholds the boon that oft we seek:

And yet His all-sufficient grace He bids us freely share,

And in a way we little know the Lord will answer prayer.

Can They Fib Every Once In A While

Job 6:25

Dieter Brauer, 33, from Vreden in Germany was hiding from the cops after fleeing when pulled over for speeding.

When officers arrived at his house to arrest him after noting down his license plate his wife, Nina, said her husband was not home.

But three-year-old Hannah interrupted to tell the uniformed men, “Daddy is here,” and led them to the cellar where he was hiding.

Brauer, who is now facing charges for speeding and driving with an expired license, said: “I can't be angry with her, she was just doing what we've always told her and that's not to tell lies.”

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Father's Unconditional Love

Luke 15:20

I was watching some little kids play soccer. These kids were only five or six years old, but they were playing a real game –- a serious game – two teams, complete with coaches, uniforms, and parents. I didn’t know any of them, so I was able to enjoy the game without the distraction of being anxious about winning or losing – I wished the parents and coaches could have done the same.

The teams were pretty evenly matched. I will just call them Team One and Team Two. Nobody scored in the first period. The kids were hilarious. They were clumsy and terribly inefficient. They fell over their own feet, they stumbled over the ball, they kicked at the ball and missed it but they didn’t seem to care. They were having fun.

In the second quarter, the Team One coach pulled out what must have been his first team and put in the scrubs, except for his best player who now guarded the goal. The game took a dramatic turn. I guess winning is important even when you’re five years old-because the Team Two coach left his best players in, and the Team One scrubs were no match for them.

Team Two swarmed around the little guy who was now the Team One goalie. He was an outstanding athlete, but he was no match for three or four who were also very good. Team Two began to score. The lone goalie gave it everything he had, recklessly throwing his body in front of incoming balls, trying valiantly to stop them. Team Two scored two goals in quick succession. It infuriated the young boy. He became a raging maniac-shouting, running, diving. With all the stamina he could muster, he covered the boy who now had the ball, but that boy kicked it to another boy twenty feet away, and by the time he repositioned himself, it was too late-they scored a third goal.

I soon learned who the goalie’s parents were. They were nice, decent-looking people. I could tell that his dad had just come from the office-he still had his suit and tie on. They yelled encouragement to their son. I became totally absorbed, watching the boy on the field and his parents on the sidelines.

After the third goal, the little kid changed. He could see it was no use; he couldn’t stop them. He didn’t quit, but he became quietly desperate; futility was written all over him. His father changed too. He had been urging his son to try harder – yelling advice and encouragement. But then he changed. He became anxious. He tried to say that it was okay – to hang in there. He grieved for the pain his son was feeling.

After the fourth goal, I knew what was going to happen. I’ve seen it before. The little boy needed help so badly, and there was no help to be had. He retrieved the ball from the net and handed to the referee – and then he cried. He just stood there while huge tears rolled down both cheeks. He went to his knees and put his fists to his eyes – and he cried the tears of the helpless and brokenhearted.

When the boy went to his knees, I saw the father start onto the field. His wife clutched his arm and said, “Jim, don’t. You’ll embarrass him.” But he tore loose from her and ran onto the field. He wasn’t supposed to – the game was still in progress. Suit, tie, dress shoes, and all – he charged onto the field, and he picked up his son so everybody would know that this was his boy, and he hugged him and held him and cried with him. I’ve never been so proud of a man in my life.

He carried him off the field, and when he got close to the sidelines I heard him say, “Scotty, I’m so proud of you. You were great out there. I want everybody to know that you are my son.” “Daddy,” the boy sobbed, “I couldn’t stop them. I tried, Daddy, I tried and tried, and they scored on me.”

“Scotty, it doesn’t matter how many times they scored on you. You’re my son, and I’m proud of you. I want you to go back out there and finish the game. I know you want to quit, but you can’t. And, son, you’re going to get scored on again, but it doesn’t matter. Go on, now.”

It made a difference — I could tell it did. When you’re all alone, and you’re getting scored on — and you can’t stop them — it means a lot to know that it doesn’t matter to those who love you. The little guy ran back on to the field — and they scored two more times — but it was okay.

I get scored on every day. I try so hard. I recklessly throw my body in every direction. I fume and rage. I struggle with temptation and sin with every ounce of my being — and Satan laughs. And he scores again, and the tears come, and I go to my knees — sinful, convicted, helpless. And my Father — my Father rushes right out on the field — right in front of the whole crowd — the whole jeering, laughing world — and he picks me up, and he hugs me and he says, “John, I’m so proud of you. You were great out there. I want everybody to know that you are my son, and because I control the outcome of this game, I declare you –The Winner.”

We Need Help

John 14:16

We Need Help Read: John 16:7-15

I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever. —John 14:16

I like to do jobs around the house by myself. One day I disassembled our heavy ping-pong table and strained as I carried it to the basement piece by piece. I was sore for a while after hauling the sections down the steps.

Sometimes, though, I need to ask for help. There’s no way I’m climbing on the roof to retrieve a stranded toy without someone holding the ladder. And some jobs I simply cannot do without the know-how of my handy brother-in-law.

To succeed in our walk of faith as Christians, we all need help. We can’t do it by ourselves. We need the help of all three Persons of the Trinity — the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit — to give us guidance, strength, and instruction.

Look at what Jesus said before He went to the cross. He told His disciples that He was going away but He would send them a Helper — the Holy Spirit (John 16:7). He knew that His followers could not fulfill their purpose in this world without the Spirit’s indwelling presence.

There are no do-it-yourself jobs in the Christian life. We need the assistance of the Father who knows us, the Savior who intercedes for us, and the Holy Spirit who empowers us. We always need God’s help. —JDB

Father, thank You for Your Spirit,

Fill us with His love and power;

Change us into Christ’s own image

Day by day and hour by hour. —Anon.

God the Father gave us His Spirit to enable us to be like His Son.

Recalling A Father's Example

Acts 11:26

In his charge to graduates of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, President Chuck Kelley reflected on some of the truths his father taught him; his father, Charles S. Kelley Sr., had passed away the Saturday before graduation.

The first truth had to do with the significance of a person’s name. Kelley recalled from his childhood an annual playing of the movie “The Wizard of Oz” on a local television station. It was one of the few movies showed during the year, and what’s more, Kelley had never seen it.

“It was always shown on Sunday night, and we never got to see it because the Kelleys were in church on Sunday night,” he said. “I would go to my dad and say, ‘I am the only kid in my school who has never seen The Wizard of Oz.’ And my dad would simply say, ‘Their name isn’t Kelley.’”

As Kelley has matured, he said, he’s come to realize that his father was teaching him that a person’s name is more than merely vowels and consonants.

“Your name stands for who you are,” he said. “All of you graduates here today bear the name of Jesus Christ.”

Kelley referenced the account in the book of Acts of Jesus’ followers being first called Christians in Antioch. Just as the early Christians’ behavior and devotion caused people around them to name them “little Christs,” so the graduates were challenged to be true representatives of Jesus Christ in their places of ministry.

A second word of wisdom from his father that Kelley applied to the students grew out of his grade school homework. Kelley said that when he asked his father to help him with math problems, his father simply told him to “read the problem.”

Kelley would answer him with “I’ve read the problem. How do I work the problem?” His father’s response was the same: “Read the problem.” And sure enough, after carefully considering the problem, Kelley would realize the solution to it. Applying that axiom to life was easy for Kelley.

“That was my dad’s way of saying, ‘Just about all of the problems of life can be solved by paying attention,’” he said.

“For those of you in ministry, you have to pay attention. Ministry is a people calling. No one will prosper in ministry who doesn’t pay attention to the people [to whom he or she is ministering],” Kelley said.

Kelley told those present about his father’s successful business in Beaumont, Texas. His father’s business success mattered little compared to the people he influenced.

“Person after person who life my dad touched was there,” he said. “Person after person would tell me how my dad gave them a job ... or saved their marriage.

“It doesn’t matter the color of skin or the size of the bank account or the level of education, just as Jesus loved one and all, so must we.”

The last word of wisdom Kelley shared from his father’s life grew out of the overall way he faced life. About six years ago, Kelley’s father was diagnosed with a form of brain cancer. He survived the surgery, but physically it had left its mark. Even in that hardship, he pointed to God’s grace.

“My dad had a very strong conviction. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, God’s grace is always enough,” Kelley said. “When you have God’s grace, you have everything you need.”

Kelley compared that ability to approach life in light of God’s providence and grace to his prescription glasses. Following the storm last year, Kelley noticed that he had trouble not only reading words up close but also reading street signs and recognizing faces. After having his vision checked, he found out that he needed prescription lenses. With that lens filtering his vision, he sees everything clearly.

In the same way, the lens of God’s providence and grace brings clarity to life.

“He is always present in the life of every believer, and He will always provide what you need for that day,” Kelley said. “With that filter, there’s nothing more important to you than doing what God has called you to do.”

Just as his father passed on to him wisdom for life, so Kelley challenged the graduates with fatherly wisdom for a life of ministry.

My Dad's Hands

Luke 11:11

Bedtime came, we were settling down,

I was holding one of my lads.

As I grasped him so tight, I saw a strange sight:

My hands … they looked like my dad’s!

I remember them well, those old gnarled hooks,

there was always a cracked nail or two.

And thanks to a hammer that strayed from its mark,

his thumb was a beautiful blue!

They were rough, I remember, incredibly tough,

as strong as a carpenter’s vice.

But holding a scared little boy at night,

they seemed to me awfully nice!

The sight of those hands – how impressive it was

in the eyes of his little boy.

Other dads’ hands were cleaner, it seemed

(the effects of their office employ).

I gave little thought in my formative years

of the reason for Dad’s raspy mitts:

The love in the toil, the dirt and the oil,

rusty plumbing that gave those hands fits!

Thinking back, misty-eyed, and thinking ahead,

when one day my time is done.

The torch of love in my own wrinkled hands

will pass on to the hands of my son.

I don’t mind the bruises, the scars here and there

or the hammer that just seemed to slip.

I want most of all when my son takes my hand,

to feel that love lies in the grip.

Hanging On To Our Dime-store Pearls

Luke 12:30

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

“Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!”

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl’s upturned face.

“A dollar ninety-five. That’s almost $2.00 if you really want them, I’ll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday’s only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.”

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere – Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving Daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, “Do you love me?”

“Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess-the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She’s my favorite.”

“That’s okay, honey. Daddy loves you. Good night.” And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny’s daddy asked again, “Do you love me?”

“Daddy, you know I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper.”

“That’s okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you.” And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

“What is it, Jenny? What’s the matter?”

Jenny didn’t say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, “Here Daddy. It’s for you.”

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny’s kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

So like our Heavenly Father.

What are you hanging on to?

An Example For Imperfect Parents

Luke 12:13

In May, Randy Lunsford announced he would appeal a Raleigh, N.C., judge's decision shutting him out of the estate of his 18-year-old daughter, who died tragically in 1999 but whose estate won a $100,000 wrongful death lawsuit. Court records show that Lunsford moved away from the mother around the time the daughter was born, never came back, and never paid a penny in child support. Lunsford said, however, that he felt obligated to claim "his" share of his daughter's estate because he was fighting for all the imperfect parents out there. His argument: Since the daughter had turned 18 shortly before she was killed, the "abandoned child" rule freezing him out should not apply.

[Gaston Gazette-AP, 5-30-01]

Watching and Learning

Ephesians 6:1

Read: Ephesians 6:1-4

Fathers, ... bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. -- Ephesians 6:4

I was browsing in a used book shop when an irate customer stormed in and loudly demanded a refund. When the man couldn't get what he wanted, he began swearing at the clerk. He continued the tirade for several minutes as a girl of 7 or 8 stood passively at his side. Eventually he stomped out of the store, cursing as he went, with the little girl following close behind.

I wondered if the girl was his daughter. If so, what did she learn from her dad that afternoon? More important, the event caused me to ask, "What does my daughter learn from me at home and all the places we go together?" She learns a lot more from watching my behavior than from all my little talks about life and God.

"Fathers," the Bible says, "do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). This speaks to me of my own relationship with Christ and the example I live before my children. Only as I submit to God's training and instruction can I bring up my children in His way.

There are children watching us today, deciding what to believe about life and God. What are they learning from us? -- DCM

No written word nor spoken plea

Can teach young hearts what they should be,

Nor all the books upon the shelves,

But what the teachers are themselves. -- Bennett

Actions speak louder than words.

He Would Give Everything For One More Day With Her

George McGovern, one-time presidential candidate, wrote a book about his daughter Terry who died of alcoholism. In 1994 she was found frozen to death in a snow bank where she’d fallen in a drunken stupor.

After his daughter died, McGovern poured over Terry’s diaries and talked to her friends trying to figure out what she was thinking. He discovered that he was not as good a father as he thought he had been. While he was spending 18-hour days fighting for political causes, his daughter Terry was at home writing in her diary that she missed her daddy. But he probably didn’t miss her because he probably didn’t care about her.

As he reflected on this he wrote, “I’d give everything I have - and I mean everything - for one more afternoon with Terry. Just to tell her how much I love her and have one more of those happy times that we used to have all too infrequently.”

There are all kinds of things literally crying for our time. May God help us to use our time on what matters most. We need to nurture our relationship with God, nurture our relationship with our family, and build and establish loving relationships with the people around us.

The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time.

An Actor's Confrontation With Morality

Job 7:15

Actor Nick Nolte, 74, has found getting old to be a painful experience, said Dave Rothbart in GQ. “I cry every day,” he says. “It’s nothing tragic or anything -- it’s just life. I cry when I try to get out of bed, because I’m in my 70s and my body hurts like hell. Once my joints are moving, I’m all right, but those are my first tears in the morning.”

Nolte’s acute sense of morality is reinforced every time an old friend dies. “That’ll always bring on a good cry. Last summer, it was screenwriter and director Paul Mazursky. His wake was classic. I saw faces I hadn’t seen in years. Mel Brooks. Richard Dreyfuss. “It was a great wake, but then you can’t help but think about your own funeral.”

But Nolte says that perhaps the most painful consequence of growing old is seeing your children become involved in their own lives and slowly drift away. “My son is 28. We’ve had a close relationship all my life, but now that he’s gotten married and had his own family, he’s much more secretive. He’ll say, ‘That’s none of your business, Dad. Leave me alone.’ And that’s a sad one -- letting go of your children. They have to put their own family and responsibilities first. There are no longer yours; they never really were.”

You Must Love Your Family More

Luke 20:46

Dr. John R. Rice related a gripping story about a family whose beloved dog Rex had strayed away from home. Both the children and parents were worried sick. The children were languishing around, not eating, bursting into tears at all hours of the day and night. They prayed for the pet’s safe return in their family devotions. Then one day the youngest boy shouted from the front porch, “Daddy, Mommy, everybody! It’s Rex! He’s come home!” Sure enough, when the family ran to the porch, at the edge of the clearing the familiar old dog was walking toward the house.

But suddenly, the father grimly commanded that not a member of the family move from his place. He stepped back into the house and quickly brought his shotgun, loaded it, and to the family’s horror, aimed and fired, dropping the beloved old dog dead in his tracks. Tears were streaming from his face as he fought to keep from sobbing with the grief-stricken children. “Why, Daddy? Why?” they kept saying as he embraced them and tried to soothe them. The fact is, in his wisdom he saw from the manner and the look of his old dog the unmistakable signs of hydrophobia. The dog was rabid, mad. As much as he loved the dog, he loved his family more!

When the household of faith is at stake, God’s man must be a faithful shepherd. The enemy, no matter how attractive, precious, or sentimental, must go. No matter how sweet, intelligent, appealing, dynamic, kind or heroic — our course of action is clear and unambiguous.

Father Leaves Racial Inclusiveness Legacy

John 1:46

A week after his cancerous right lung was removed, my father asked me over for an afternoon chat. That afternoon he told me his wishes regarding his funeral service. He never left anything to chance. Every action had a purpose and each sentence he spoke was planned to evoke a specific response.

He died two months later, after a four-year battle against colon cancer. His funeral wishes were simple. Someone of my mother’s choice would do the eulogy. A person of color would sing the hymn, “God Is.” Henry Webb, a co-worker at the Baptist Sunday School Board, would bring an evangelistic message and Olivia Cloud, a close friend and colleague, would end the service with prayer. His pallbearers must include three women and only two Anglos.

Dad’s life, as with his funeral service, reflected an unrelenting focus on inclusiveness and racial harmony and the basic thought that God is the reason for everything and everyone.

For Dad, racial reconciliation was biblical and multiculturalism was not just a catchword -- it was who he was. He believed it was important to be multicultural simply because one could not successfully share the love of Christ with a person of another culture without first knowing a little about his/her history, customs, laws or language.

No matter a person’s skin color, Dad simply treated others as he wanted to be treated. He always seemed to be watching out for the oppressed and enjoyed playing advocate for the downtrodden. His heroes had names like Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Caesar Chavez and Gandhi.

My sister and I became the direct beneficiaries of Dad’s relentless pursuit of a healthy cultural sensitivity. Our parents continuously exposed us to other cultures and beliefs outside our Anglo-European heritage. At times, Dad’s bent toward multiculturalism seemed almost obsessive, but he believed that if we learned a multicultural outlook as children, we would have no need for racial reconciliation later in our lives.

Whenever we were introduced to derogatory racial or gender-related stereotypes at school or in the media, our parents taught us the root of the stereotypes. Political and gender correctness were norms in our home for as long as I can remember. For instance, Pollock jokes and the use of racist words like blackmail, blacksheep, blackball or blacklist definitely were forbidden.

He had a knack for using everyday situations to teach us about racism and prejudice and the difference between the two. One such lesson came on a summer day, as I played baseball with other neighborhood children. We began choosing professional baseball players after whom we wanted to model our style of play. I chose my favorite, Willie McCovey, a strong, power-hitting, first-baseman for my hometown San Francisco Giants. I was quickly told that Willie McCovey was black and I couldn’t be him because I was white. I didn’t care that he was black; he was my favorite ballplayer. An argument ensued. Finally, insults were thrown and I was branded a “nigger-lover” and forced to pick a white player or not play at all. I didn’t exactly know what that meant, but I knew it wasn’t nice. So I picked up my Reggie Jackson bat and Willie Mays outfielders glove and went home.

That evening, I asked my father about the word I had heard. He told me the word was used mostly by Anglos as a derogatory term for anyone of dark skin. He explained to me the African etymology of the word and how it had been purposely distorted over the years to become an ugly racial slur.

Racism, a form of prejudice, was what my friends had shown toward Willie McCovey because of his skin color. Prejudice, on the other hand, was how my friends had treated me for my beliefs. I’ll always remember that talk because of what he told me at the end, “Son, it’s OK to be a nigger-lover.”

About the same time I was learning about prejudice on the baseball diamond, my family began visiting Emmanuel Baptist Church, a predominately black Southern Baptist church in San Jose, Calif. Visiting different churches each Sunday was not out of the ordinary for us since my father, as a home missionary, related to a large Southern Baptist constituency throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. On any given Sunday, Dad might be called upon to preach, share his testimony or conduct an evening Bible study.

However, Emmanuel was different. Soon our visits became regular and as a result of the friendliness and genuine Christian love we experienced, the church became our home.

For the next 11 years, Emmanuel played a vital role in my family. My father worked as a part-time minister of education and helped the church’s Sunday school grow into one of the state leaders in attendance. My mother taught Sunday school and my sister sang in the children’s choir. Church members also supported our family through prayer during my recovery from brain surgery in 1979. During our time at Emmanuel, we all developed strong friendships that last even today.

Because of the reputation he nurtured and earned while at Emmanuel, my father came to the Baptist Sunday School Board in 1987 to work in Black Church Development. At first Dad worked as a liaison between the section and Anglo leaders of state conventions. Soon he shifted his focus and began working directly with churches and pastors.

From the outset, many thought of Dad as the token white in a section dedicated solely to black church work. Some even questioned why he’d accept such a position. Wasn’t this a demotion? What were his qualifications? Did he actually think he could successfully work among African Americans, whose church style, culture and language were so different from mainstream Southern Baptists?

Many assumed his “calling” in life was to work with African Americans, just as a foreign missionary is called to work among non-Christians in far-off places like Africa, China and India. Some thought his job was to show black Southern Baptists how to “do” church the Southern Baptist way.

But nothing could be further from the truth. Really, we never discussed why he worked where he did. It was simply his job and what he loved to do. I know he felt comfortable in the black community and never found his skin color to be an obstacle.

Throughout his career, Dad constantly worked to broaden the racial sensitivity of others. Even while working at the Sunday School Board, he routinely confronted co-workers about their views of race in the workplace and in the Christian community. Although his entire career in Christian ministry seems dedicated to racial reconciliation, he had a somewhat critical view of the Racial Reconciliation Resolution adopted by the Southern Baptist Convention last June.

He thought, as do many black Southern Baptists who attended the SBC, that the resolution by itself will not change anything in the relationship between blacks and whites in the Southern Baptist Convention. Openness and a willingness to learn and understand -- qualities my Dad’s life exemplified -- will make a real difference.

He knew that racial reconciliation is more than just saying you’re sorry. It will come only when actions begin to speak louder than words.

________

True Love Is Being Adopted As An Adult

When I was five, my biological father committed suicide. It left me feeling as though I'd done something wrong; that if I had been better somehow, maybe he'd have stayed around. My mother remarried shortly thereafter, and this man was my dad until I was nineteen. I called him Dad and used his name all through school. But when he and my mother divorced, he just walked away. Once again, I wondered what was wrong with me that I couldn't keep a father.

Mother remarried again, and Bob was a wonderful, kind man. I was twenty now and no longer living at home, but I felt a great love and attachment for him. A few years later my mother was diagnosed with cancer and was not given long to live. Shortly before she died, Bob came over to my house alone one day. We talked about a lot of things, and then he told me that he wanted me to know that he'd always be there for me, even after Mother was gone. Then he asked if he could adopt me.

I could hardly believe my ears. Tears streamed down my face. He wanted me - me! This man had no obligation to me, but he was reaching out from his heart, and I accepted. During the adoption proceedings, the judge commented on all of the undesirable duties of his profession and then with a tear in his eye, thanked us for brightening his day as he pronounced us father and daughter. I was twenty-five, but I was his little girl.

Three short years later, Bob, too, was diagnosed with cancer and was gone within the year. At first I was hurt and angry at God for taking this father away too. But eventually the love and acceptance that I felt from Dad came through again, and I became, once more, grateful for the years we had.

On Father's Day I always reflect on what I've learned about fatherhood. I've learned that it is not dependent on biology or even on raising a child. Fatherhood is a matter of the heart. Bob's gift from the heart will warm my soul for eternity.