52 Sermon Illustrations on Mothers

R. A. Torrey had a godly mother, but he himself had no faith in God or the Bible. He decided to leave home. As he left his mother cried and told he could turn to God when he got to the end of his rope. He got into sinful lifestyle. In a hotel room he was unable to sleep, problems pressed in on him, and he decided to take the gun in his dresser and end his life. Just as he reached for the weapon, he remembered his mother's last words. Convicted by the Holy Spirit, he fell on his knees and cried out, "Oh, God of my mother, if there is such a Being, I need Your help. If You will give it to me, I'll follow You!" In a moment peace entered his soul and he became an outstanding evangelist.

Mothers' Day sermon in Romans series.

1. Human love.

2. Love in Romans 12.

a. Sincere.

b. Choice.

c. Limits.

3. Spiritual love.

4. Love and relationships.

a. Revenge and "coals of fire".

b. Overcome evil with good.

#881

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Three bizarre murders will probably be made into TV movies:

New Hampshire. Pamela Smart, a 23-year-old high school instructor in Derry, seduced 15-year-old William Flynn and got him and two friends to murder her husband Greg. She told the boys to lock the dog in the cellar so it would not have to watch the dastardly deed.

Texas. Wanda Webb Holloway, organist at the local Baptist church, tried to murder Amber Heath's mother so she would be too distraught to win a spot on the freshman cheerleading squad, and Wanda's eighth-grade daughter Shanna Harper would win instead. Wanda's ex-brother-in-law told police she toyed with the idea of killing both mother and daughter, but couldn't afford the $7,500 fee. The previous year she got her daughter disqualified when she showed up at school and handed out promotional pencils and rulers imprinted "Shanna Harper Cheerleader." [She was convicted but due to a bad jury it was declared a mistrial.]

The school principal, James M. Barker said, "After all, it's the American way. We all want our children to achieve. There is a part of Wanda Holloway in all of us."

Florida. Pepper-haired, bespectacled genius George James Trepal fed rat poison to the family next door because he considered them bad neighbors. He got tired of their loud music and barking dogs. He left a death threat, then laced their Coke bottles with thallium nitrite. Peggy Carr died three months later. When police questioned Trepal, a member of Mensa, he said someone poisoned them because they wouldn't move out. At the annual Mensa murder weekend he wrote in a booklet, "When a death threat appears on the doorstep, prudent people throw out all their food and watch what they eat." A small vial in the garage contained traces of thallium. How could a genius be so dumb?

[I believe the first two became TV movies - Holwick]

Sermon in Family Series. Mothers' Day. Proverbs 22:3-6

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SUCCESSFUL MOMMING

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I. Motherhood is not what it used to be.

II. "Train up your child." Proverbs 22:6

A. Popular verse is often misunderstood.

B. Train your child in the manner befitting a child.

III. Children have bents.

A. Grooming the good bents. Psalm 139:13-15

B. Oppose the bad bents. Psalm 51:5

IV. Advice from a preacher's wife.

V. When he is old he will not depart.

A. Does not refer to sowing oats, and then returning.

B. Means a properly trained child should stick to the course.

C. Take mothering seriously and bear eternal fruit.

#3744

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"It was into his sixth day of overtime, as God was creating the model for mothers. An angel appeared and said, "you're sure doing a lot of fiddling around with this one."

The Lord said, "have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, (but not plastic) have 180 movable parts, (all replaceable) run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knuckle, to a broken leg, to a disappointed love affair; and six pairs of hands."

The angel shook his head slowly and said, "six pairs of hands... no way!"

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it's the three pair of eyes!"

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded, "one pair that sees through closed doors, when she asks, 'what are you kids doing in there,' when she already knows. A second pair here in the back of the head that sees what she shouldn't have, but of course she has to know. And still a third pair in the front that can look at a child when he/she goofs up, that say without so much as uttering a word, but that convey, 'I understand, and I love you.'"

"Lord," said the angel touching God's sleeve, "come to bed, take it up again tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord, "I am so close to creating something just like myself."

Already I have one that heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six with one pound of hamburger, and get a nine year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," he sighed.

"But tough" said the Lord, excitedly! "You can't imagine what this mother can do, and endure!"

"Can it think?" asked the angel.

"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise!"

Finally the angel, bent over and ran his finger across the model's cheek. "There's a leak," he pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear."

"What's it for?" asked the angel.

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.

The Lord looked somber... "I didn't put it there."

Dr. Elizabeth Morgan, surgeon, author, graduate of Yale & Harvard spent a couple of years in prison to protect her 6 yr. old daughter from rape. As a toddler Hilary began to show signs of abuse. 11 of 13 doctors concluded she had been abused. Judge ruled the evidence inconclusive. Ordered a 2 week unsupervised visit with her father. Dr. Morgan sent her child into hiding and spent the next two years in prison for contempt of court. She sacrificed everything to protect her child.

Around Mother's Day we hear the old saying, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." But is that true? Well, here are three examples of mothers with great influence, from the book MOMS WHO CHANGED THE WORLD by Lindsey O'Connor.

Augustine was a fourth-century scholar who is considered one of the greatest thinkers of all times. He was born under Roman rule in what is now Algeria. His Christian mother, Monica, was married to a pagan who lived an immoral lifestyle. Even so, she gained a reputation as a peacemaker and counselor in turbulent times.

At 23, Monica had her firstborn, Augustine, and she dedicated her life to raising him as a Christian. Despite their pagan culture, Monica won her husband to Christ just before his death, and her mother-in- law as well.

Augustine was 17 when his father died and he was sent to the University at Carthage for a classical education. But Carthage was a decadent place, and he wallowed in carnal pleasures. Monica cried and continually prayed for his soul. When Augustine did come to faith, years later, Monica rejoiced and told him her work was done. One week later she died.

Augustine, who went on to become a great saint of the Church, wrote this prayer: "My mother, Your faithful servant, wept to You for me, shedding more tears for my spiritual death than others shed for the bodily death of a son. You heard her."

Amy Carmichael was born in 1867, oldest of seven, raised in a comfortable home in Northern Ireland. Her family prayed daily and read the Scriptures. Amy's mother, Catherine, taught her children to pray, and she taught them the value of small acts of kindness, sending them with hot soup to the village poor.

When Amy's father died, they lost everything, but Catherine trusted the Lord. In 1892, Amy felt God calling her to India, saying, "Go, ye." Though sad to see her daughter leave, Catherine wrote God "has lent you to me all these years. I can trust you to Him, and I do..... Go, ye." Amy, though in a wheelchair, went, and became one of the great missionaries, poets, and hymn writers of the Christian Church.

George Washington, "father of his country," was a Christian gentleman, of whom Thomas Jefferson said, "He was, indeed, in every sense of the word, a wise, a good, and a great man." George's father died when the boy was just 11, but a Christian mother, Mary Ball Washington, molded his character with Bible reading, and with CONTEMPLATIONS MORAL AND DIVINE by Sir Matthew Hale.

He wrote later: "All that I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual, and physical education I received from her."

So what did Monica, Catherine, and Mary have in common? They saw motherhood as a mission from God, and they immersed their children in the Bible and prayer, and never gave up on them. They taught them morals, and to care for the less fortunate, and they loved them unselfishly.

In times like these, we need to remember that God looks with favor on mothers who nurture small hearts and minds, and train up children to impact our world. What profession, and what job, is more important than that? For truly, a mother's work has eternal consequences.

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Copyright (c) 2000 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

A very beautiful story is related of a boat out at sea, carrying in it a father and his little daughter. As they were steering for the shore, they were overtaken by a violent storm which threatened to destroy them. The coast was dangerous. The mother lighted a lamp and started up the worn stairway to the attic window. "It won't do any good, mother," the son called after her. But the mother went up, put the light in the window, knelt beside it, and prayed. Out in the storm, the daughter saw a glimmer of gold on the water's edge. "Steer for that," the father said. Slowly, but steadily, they came toward the light and at last were anchored in the little, sheltered cottage by the harbor.

"Thank God!" cried the mother as she heard their glad voices, and came down the stairway with a lamp in her hand. "How did you get here?" she said. "We steered by mother's light," answered the daughter, "although we did not know what it was out there." "Ah," thought the boy, a wayward boy, "it is time I was steering by my mother's light." And e'er he slept, he surrendered himself to God and asked him to guide him over life's rough sea.

Months went by, and disease smote him. "He can't live long," was the verdict of the doctor; and one stormy night he lay dying. "Do not be afraid for me," he said as they wept, "I shall make the harbor, for I am steering by my mother's light." --Sent Of God

A very pretty story is told by Mr. Stuart Robertson in his delightful book of "Talks to Children." A little girl was sitting on her mother's knee. She was very fond of her mother. She called her, her "very own mother," and like one who was rejoicing over very precious treasures she was touching, one after the other, the features of her mother's face with her little fingers--her mother's lips, her eyes, her cheeks, her hair. After a while she said, "Mummy, can I see your heart?" The mother said, "I don't know about that, but you can look into my eyes, and see if you can see anything." The child climbed up and peered in; and then she cried out gleefully, "I can see your heart, Mummy, and there is a wee girl away in there, and it's me!"--Sunday School Times

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.”

-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"No man is poor who has had a godly mother."

-- Abraham Lincoln

“I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”

-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

“God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.”

-- Jewish proverb

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”

-- Lin Yutang

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”

-- Honore' de Balzac (1799-1850)

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”

-- George Washington (1732-1799)

“By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.”

-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1907- )

“The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.”

-- Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

“Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope outlives them all.”

-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

-- Author Unknown

"An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest."

-- Spanish proverb

"The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."

-- William Ross Wallace

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

-- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for

Serious People, New York: Norton, 1980, p. 33.

“The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

-- Josh McDowell, sermoncentral.com, 9/15/03

“From my mother I learned the value of prayer, how to have dreams and believe I could make them come true.”

-- Ronald Reagan, 40th president of the United States; SermonCentral.com

It is said that a young man became very profligate. He almost broke

the hearts of his parents. The mother was actually about to die from

the strain. Finally, one day he acted so shamefully that his father

said to him, "We have done everything in our power for you. You have

disgraced the family and are killing your mother. All that we do for

you is in vain. I am sorry, but I must ask you to leave our home and

never return." The young man left.

The months and years went by. Finally the boy became so miserable

and homesick it seemed he could not stand it. So he wrote his mother

this letter: "Dear Mother: I am ashamed of my fearful conduct in the

home. I can hardly stand to think I must never see you again. However,

I do not know whether or not Father and you can forgive me. But I will

be on train No. 2 that passes your home at 10:00 a.m. [Then he gave

the day.] Now if you can forgive me and will take me back, I want you

to hang a sheet out on the clothesline. I shall look as the train

passes and, if I see the sheet, I will know that you will forgive me,

and I will get off at the next station, just below the house, and come

home."

Well, what do you think she did? Not only did she hang out one

sheet, but every sheet, towel, pillowcase and everything else white

that she had. The clothesline, fence, and rosebushes were covered with

sheets, towels, etc. Of course he came home, and, oh, such a welcome!

It was forgiveness in abundance.

William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."

Erma Bombeck once wrote:

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I will tell them:

• I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom, and what time you will get home.

• I loved you enough to insist that you buy a bike with your own money, that you could afford.

• I loved you enough to be silent and to let you discover on your own, that your boy friend was a creep.

• I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to a drugstore to confess that you had stolen it.

• I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes.

• I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust and tears in my eyes.

• I loved you enough to admit that I was wrong and ask for your forgiveness.

• I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall, hurt and fail.

• • I loved you enough to let you assume responsibility for your own actions at age 6, 10, or 16.

• I loved you enough to accept you for what you are, not what I wanted you to be.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #6680]

I drove my son who is twelve years old, to a friend's house to do a home work project. The boys' mother came out as we drove up to ask if my son wanted to stay for dinner also. When she went back in the house I commented on how pretty she was. My son said "mom, you're pretty too, you're just having a bad day!"

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Source: Just for Grins, http://www.coolnewsletters.com

Blessed is the mother who understands her child, for she shall inherit a kingdom of memories.

Blessed is the mother who knows how to comfort, for she shall possess a child's devotion.

Blessed is the mother who guides by the path of righteousness, for she shall be proud of her offspring.

Blessed is the mother who is never shocked, for she shall receive confidences.

Blessed is the mother who teaches respect, for she shall be respected.

Blessed is the mother who emphasizes the good and minimizes the bad, for in like manner the child shall make evaluations.

Blessed is the mother who treats her child as she would be treated, for her home shall be filled with happiness.

Blessed is the mother who answers simply the startling questions, for she shall always be trusted.

Blessed is the mother who has character strong enough to withstand the thoughtless remarks and resentments of the growing child, for again, in due time, she shall be honored.

Ian MacLaren, that great preacher of the Word of God, once visited a home and found an old Scotch woman standing in her kitchen, weeping.

She wiped her eyes with the corner of her apron, and when the minister asked her what was the matter, she confessed, "I have done so little.

I am so miserable and unhappy." "Why?" asked MacLaren. "Because I have done so little for Jesus. When I was just a wee girl, the Lord spoke to my heart, and I did want so much to live for Him." "Well, haven't you?" asked the minister. "Yes, I have lived for Him, but I have done so little. I want to be of some use in His service." "What have you done?" "Nothing. I have washed dishes, cooked three meals a day, taken care of the children, mopped the floor, and mended the clothes. That is all I have done all my life, and I wanted to do somthing for Jesus." The preacher, sitting back in the armchair, looked at her and smiled. "Where are your boys?" he inquired. She had four sons and had named them after Bible personalities. "Oh, my boys? You know where Mark is. You ordained him yourself before he went to China. Why are you asking? He is there preaching for the Lord." "Where is Luke?"

questioned the minister. "Luke? He went out from your own church.

Didn't you send him out? I had a letter from him the other day." Then she became happy and excited as she continued. "A revival has broken out on the mission station, and he said they were having a wonderful time in the service of the Lord!" "Where is Matthew?" "He is with his brother in China. Isn't it fine that the two boys can be working together? I am so happy about that. John came to me the other night-he is my baby and is only nineteen, but he is a great boy. He said, 'Mother, I have been praying and, tonight in my room, the Lord spoke to my heart about going to help my brother in Africa! But don't you cry, Mother. The Lord told me I was to stay here and look after you until you go home to glory.'" The minister looked at her: "And you say your life has been wasted in mopping floors, darning socks, washing dishes, and doing the trivial tasks. I'd like to have your mansion when we are called home! It will be very near the throne."

A widow whose children had left her one by one to go to the "new country" (as she called it) heard each of them promise to save money and to send for her "very soon." Time passed; the children married and had children, but no mention came of sending for the old mother. She longed to see them, but thinking they lacked the means, she saved up enough money herself to pay them a surprise visit. But, her reception was the reverse of what she had fondly anticipated. Her children, who had prospered, seemed annoyed at their mother's coming, criticized her old-fashioned dress and speech, and had no room for her. The disappointed woman came back and entered a home for the aged, where she proved a blessing to all about her, shedding on those around her the love that her own children had rejected. No bitterness remained in the heart of the aged saint. "It seems to me that I knew what our Lord suffered," she told a friend, "when He came to His own dear people and they gave Him the cold shoulder. Just think! He came unto His own and His own received Him not! I can understand how that wounded His loving heart." Yet she could praise God for the experience since it drew her closer to her Savior and made her more compassionate toward others.

“A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting her not to change, and she does.”

There were four clergymen who were discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible. One liked the King James Version because of its simple, beautiful English.

Another liked the American Revised Version best because it is more literal and came nearer to the original Hebrew and Greek.

Still another liked Moffat’s translation because of its up-to-date vocabulary.

The fourth minister was silent. when asked to express his opinion, he replied, “I like my mother’s translation best.”

The other three expressed surprise. They did not know that his mother had translated the Bible.

But he assured them, “She translated it into life, every day of her life, and it was the most convincing translation I ever saw.”

There is a scene in the movie ELF — a great family film sure to become a holiday classic — that should be familiar to many American families. When the father, played by James Caan, arrives late to dinner, he doesn't stop moving. Instead he fills his plate while telling his wife and son that he'll be eating in his bedroom because he's “very busy” and has brought home a pile of work he has to do.

The film comes to a climax when the son arrives at his father's office, where he's working late on Christmas Eve of all nights, and the father has to decide between his job and his family.

Work or family: That's a decision moms and dads face every day. Americans pride themselves in a strong work ethic, but that ethic has disintegrated into a contest for who can work the most.

Columnist Amy Joyce of the WASHINGTON POST has been following the lives of 80-hour-a-week Washingtonians. Recently, Joyce wrote about Lisa, whose father worked long hours and died before he could pursue any of his dreams and hobbies. This left Lisa “with strong feelings regarding the importance of maintaining a work-life balance.” Then there's Kate, who has found a good balance: “Work will come and go, she reasons. But there is only one life.”

Similar thinking is going on in New York City. Recently in the NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE, Lisa Belkin traced the lives of eight highly successful women who “had it all” — and found it all unsatisfying.

These eight women had Princeton degrees and Harvard and Columbia law degrees. “They chose husbands who could keep up with them” and “waited to have children because work was too exciting” — the feminist dream? Not exactly. “I don't want to be on the fast track leading to a partnership at a prestigious law firm,” said Katherine Brokaw, who left the workplace to stay home with her three children. “Some people define that as success. I don't.” Said Vicky McElhaney Benedict, another successful lawyer who quit to stay home with her children: “This is what I was meant to do. ... I like life's rhythms when I'm nurturing a child.”

In one sense, feminism has had a positive effect, argues Belkin. Capable female employees are coveted for their talents, but in a backlash against the feminist ideal, they're also more willing to leave, generally claiming family obligations. The “glass ceiling” was not the problem; it was their deep-down desire to be mothers. Many companies are recognizing the need to eliminate the dilemma of deciding between work and family by granting extended leave and, in some cases, sabbaticals. That, in turn, has had a positive impact on men as fathers have taken advantage of this benefit and are able to manage their schedules around their family life, reversing the “absentee father” model.

This illustrates plainly the natural order — that is, the way God created us. We're wired for work, of course, to be productive, but we're also created to have children and raise them. Women wanting to be home with their children is a good sign, not only of biology, but of moral disposition. It's a good sign, as well, that more and more women are discovering the lies of feminism: that what really matters are those moments with the family — not reaching the next rung on the corporate ladder.

FOR FURTHER READING AND INFORMATION:

• Amy Joyce, “Pursuit of Happiness and Power Suits,” Washington Post, 9 November 2003, F05. (See also past columns: “Never an Off Day in Washington“ and “Time Off for Urgent Family Matters.”)

• Lisa Belkin, “The Opt-Out Revolution,” New York Times Magazine, 26 October 2003. (Archived article; costs $2.95 to retrieve.)

• Kate Rice, “Happy at Work and Home,” ABC News, 10 November 2003.

• Peter Edman, “Too Tired for Life,” BreakPoint Online, 2001.

• BreakPoint Commentary No. 030730, “It's about Time.”

• BreakPoint Commentary No. 030919, “Loving Mondays.”

• Christina Hoff Sommers, Who Stole Feminism? (Touchstone, 1995).

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Copyright (c) 2004 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

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Roller-skating was a big deal to a second grader. Our class went on weekly after-school excursions to the local roller skating rink. As any onlooker could tell, it was the keystone of the second grade social life. I was new to the city, new to my classmates, and new to the challenge of roller-skating. I had to learn. It would be for me a vital connecting point in a foreign land.

So at a local rink with my mother, I learned how to skate. The memory is still sharp, perhaps in part, because it is the first time I remember vividly having before me the goal of learning something, and the thrill of possessing that knowledge. It was one of those moments where a definitive sense of “getting it” hit me with excitement. I still remember the song that was playing over the loudspeakers when my legs and mind and feet suddenly came together in united collaboration.

The book of Proverbs sometimes sounds like a parent's anxious advice to a child about to step out onto life's rink for the first time. “My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver, and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God” (2:3-5).

My mother knew before I even had my skates on that I would return from the rink that day with bruises and sore ankles. She was also hoping that I would come home with the ability to skate. Like a parent eager to see his children learn, God approaches us with exhortations for the journey in countless ways. To those He longs to equip, God speaks at times with forthright instruction and commandments, sometimes with gentle teaching or illustration, still other times with silence as we wrestle to learn.

Scripture reflects the reality that learning meets us in various ways throughout life. Author Derek Kidner begins his work on the wisdom literature of Scripture, “There comes a point in the Old Testament when the pilgrim is free to stop and take a long look round.”(1) The reflective approach of the Psalms, the parental counsel of Proverbs, and the questioning demeanor of Ecclesiastes all show us a different picture of a learner on the journey, pictures differing still from the fledgling learners in Exodus or the eager students of Christ. Kidner continues, “In other words, in the Wisdom books the tone of voice and even the speakers have changed. The blunt 'Thou shalt' or 'shalt not' of the Law, and the urgent 'Thus saith the Lord' of the Prophets, are joined now by the cooler comments of the teacher and the often anguished questions of the learner.”(2) The collective teachings of Scripture, from the writings of the prophets to the writings of Paul, point to God who longs that we might know Him.

The writer of Proverbs bids us to see wisdom as a lifelong journey to be taken seriously in every way it meets us. There are moments when we strive to learn because we long to “get it” and moments we strive more or less because it is asked of us. Yet, whether we are struggling to make our ears attentive in discipline, or crying out for insight with all that is in us, the source, we are told, is consistent: “The LORD gives wisdom, from his mouth come knowledge and understanding” (3:6). God reminds us that the pursuit of wisdom is a journey toward Him. Through his various approaches to teaching, even sending his son that we might be shown the way to the Father, He shows his great pursuit to make Himself known to you. Therefore, let us learn with zeal and anticipation, for He has promised, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

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1. Derek Kidner, The Wisdom of Proverbs, Job and Ecclesiastes (Downers Grove: IVP, 1985), 11.

2. Ibid, 11.

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Copyright © 2005 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. "A Slice of Infinity" is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #27090]

If you pay attention to the news or social media, then you’ve probably heard of the “affluenza” teen who gained the spotlight again this past December [2015]. Ethan Couch was given this moniker after a judge sentenced him to probation instead of jail time when, at the age of 16, he killed four people in a drunken-driving accident in Texas in 2013. His defense team cited “affluenza” as a factor, suggesting that because he was overly protected by his parents — from a wealthy family and spoiled — he didn’t understand the consequences of his actions.

Because he violated the terms of his parole, a warrant was issued for his arrest last month. His mother, Tonya Couch, is accused of helping her son flee to Mexico to avoid arrest. On December 28, they were found and she was arrested and brought back to Texas, with charges of hindering the apprehension of a felon.

While this case of extreme helicopter parenting generated strong media buzz, child experts agree that the phenomenon is widespread across the United States, particularly in middle- and upper-class segments. Although many schools and churches express concern over the lack of parental involvement, others struggle with parents who hover unnecessarily over their kids or who solve problems for them that they could figure out on their own.

What is a helicopter parent?

The first use of the phrase helicopter parent is attributed to Dr. Haim Ginott. In his 1969 book Parents & Teenagers, he wrote about teens who said their parents would “hover over them like a helicopter.” Similar terms include lawnmower parenting (parents who mow down obstacles for their children) and overparenting. Carolyn Daitch, Ph.D., director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders, defines helicopter parents as those who “typically take too much responsibility for their children’s experiences and, specifically, their successes or failures.” Merriam-Webster.com defines the term as “a parent who is overly involved in the life of his or her child.”

According to an article on Parents.com, helicopter parenting is most often seen in parents of high school or college-aged students. Such parents take over tasks that their children are fully capable of completing alone. For example, many college professors get calls from parents about poor grades or schedule problems, often with demands from the parent to fix the problem so their child won’t be upset or have to struggle in any way. My son told me about a parent who went with his college-aged son for an internship interview and expected to sit in on it! The pestering of my son with questions about how his own internship interview went paled in comparison.

Former Stanford University dean Julie Lythcott-Haims has written a book on the problems with overparenting titled How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success. She recounts stories of intelligent, accomplished young adults who were also depressed and fragile. As a dean, she would counsel college kids who had no passion for the items on their resume and hear stories from them about parents who micromanaged study schedules. Many admitted they studied science, played piano or did community service projects only because their parents insisted.

Lythcott-Haims cites several studies showing a correlation between mental health issues in college kids and overparenting. For example, a 2011 study at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga found that students with “hovering” parents were more likely to be medicated for anxiety or depression. She believes that when parents do the hard stuff for kids — reminding them of deadlines, paying bills, asking questions, talking to strangers, confronting authorities — students are left unprepared for college or work. “They will experience setbacks, which will feel to them like failure. Lurking beneath the problem of whatever thing needs to be handled is the student’s inability to differentiate the self from the parent,” says Lythcott-Haims.

Why parents helicopter

Helicopter parenting can happen at any age, not just with older teens and young adults. Some parents of toddlers constantly shadow their children and don’t allow play time alone. In elementary school, a helicopter parent might help too much with homework or ensure that a child gets a particular teacher. While engaged parenting can build self-confidence, overparenting can lead to decreased self-esteem, lack of coping skills, anxiety, a sense of entitlement and undeveloped life skills.

Parents.com identifies four reasons why parents helicopter: (1) fear of dire consequences — parents often don’t understand that disappointment over not making the team or getting a low grade can be a great lesson for a child; (2) feelings of anxiety — worries about the economy or the state of the world can push parents to exhibit too much control over their children’s lives in an effort to protect them; (3) overcompensation — adults who didn’t have a happy childhood might be prone to excessive attention on their own child; and (4) peer pressure from other parents — feelings of guilt can cause some to model the behavior of other parents who overparent.

Effective parenting

Fortunately, a number of resources are available to help parents to be supportive and loving and to nurture their kids into resilient, independent adults. For example, the Love and Logic program developed by Jim Fay and Foster Cline in the 1970’s “teaches children to be responsible, and prepares young people to live in the real world, with its many choices and consequences.” This program identifies three types of parents: (1) the helicopter parent (who hovers over his or her children and rescues them from a hostile world); (2) the drill sergeant (who commands and directs the lives of his or her children); and (3) the consultant (who provides guidance and consultant services for his or her children). According to Love and Logic, the consultant parent has the ideal mix of attributes, providing messages of personal worth to kids, seldom mentioning responsibilities but rather modeling self-care and responsibility, providing children with options but allowing them to make their own decisions, and allowing children to experience life’s natural consequences.

In addition to Love and Logic, many churches provide courses aimed at helping parents at every point along the parenting spectrum. For example, Highland Park United Methodist Church in Dallas offers classes for parents on topics such as spiritual formation, raising boys, single parenting, raising teen daughters, behavior problems and human sexuality.

Personal reflection

I finished up this article after I returned from the funeral for a beautiful, smart, 22-year-old woman who was friends with my son in high school. The last act her mom did for her was an attempt to prevent her daughter from drinking and driving by taking her car away, yet she died after being hit by a vehicle while walking home. It doesn’t really matter what happened or how, just that her parents loved her and were only trying to protect her — which is why as parents, we hover and worry over our children. It’s our natural instinct.

To trust these precious gifts to God is incredibly difficult, but ultimately it’s our only choice. Without prayer, spiritual growth and wisdom in our own lives, healthy parenting (or grandparenting) is difficult, if not impossible. As the Bible reminds us in James 1:5, “Anyone who needs wisdom should ask God, whose very nature is to give to everyone without a second thought, without keeping score.” Now that’s a good Father.

There is an old hymn by Frederick William Faber written in memory of Catholic martyrs during the time of King Henry VIII. Somehow this hymn made its way into the Baptist Hymnal due to its militant call to remain vigilant in spiritual battle and steadfast in the defense of truth.

Though it has been many years since I have sung this hymn, it is something I clearly recall singing in my childhood. Maybe you can recall the melody as you read these words:

Faith of our fathers! living still

In spite of dungeon, fire and sword,

O how our hearts beat high with joy

Whene’er we hear that glorious word!

Faith of our fathers, holy faith!

We will be true to thee till death!

While this hymn is an appeal for faith and faithfulness to God, it would do well for us not only to affirm the faith of our fathers, but also to honor and celebrate the faith of our mothers.

This Mother’s Day weekend, I have cause to celebrate the gift and grace of godly mothers. I was blessed to have a godly, Christian mother who filled our home with faith, hope and love. I rejoice to share my life with a godly wife and mother whose faith, perseverance and sacrifice are mirrored in our children’s lives. And together we have the joy of seeing our daughter and daughter-in-law shepherding our grandchildren toward the knowledge of God and the Gospel of Christ in their own families.

The Scriptures are filled with the courageous examples of women of faith who trusted God and followed the Lord Jesus Christ.

Jochebed, the mother of Moses, hid him after his birth and placed him in an ark among the reeds of the Nile. God honored her faith by allowing Pharaoh’s daughter to find Moses and by giving Jochebed the privilege of nursing, nurturing and sowing seeds of faith into this baby boy. Years later, Moses “refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward” (Hebrews 11:24b-26 ESV). Who helped shaped Moses’ faith and courage? His mother.

Hannah knew the pain and alienation of infertility. She had an open heart, but empty arms -- similar to my own family’s story that led us to adoption. In God’s time and through His grace, Samuel was born to Hannah, and by faith, she offered him back to the Lord. God raised Samuel up as a mighty prophet -- a man who is often seen responding to the voice of God. From whom do I believe Samuel first learned to listen to God? His mother.

Ruth demonstrated remarkable faith in the book that bears her name. She was a Gentile outcast and, yet, she experienced God’s grace through a kinsman-redeemer. And God used Ruth to fulfill His prophetic plan: “Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of David the king ... [and] Mary, of whom Jesus was born” (Matthew 1:5-6, 16 ESV). Who in Obed’s life said the words that will forever be etched in Scripture, “ ... and your God shall be my God”? His mother.

Think of Mary, the earthly mother of Jesus -- a woman of extreme faith. At the risk of public scorn and shame, she surrendered her body to God’s providential purpose in bearing the Savior of the world. Even Joseph, her betrothed husband, doubted her. Yet Mary endured the suspicion of immoral action, the tension of Jesus’ public rejection, and faced the horror of His sacrifice, following her Son to the foot of the cross. Who was rewarded for her faith at the resurrection of Jesus? His mother.

And what about Eunice and Lois? The apostle Paul named these remarkable women in connection with Timothy, Paul’s protégé in ministry and partner in church planting. Who were Eunice and Lois, and who taught young Timmy from childhood “the sacred writings which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Jesus Christ”? (2 Timothy 3:15). His mother and grandmother.

We do well to remember the faith of our mothers!

May I suggest this: Take time to give thanks for a mother’s faith. Call, write, tell her of your gratitude, not just for all she’s done, but also for her faith. Fan the flames of her faith!

Encourage a mother who is in the battle seeking to live out her faith in these difficult days. Pray for her. Commend her. Offer to help her in some practical way.

Mother’s Day 2004 was the last occasion I had to tell my mom of my gratitude for her faith and faithfulness to God before her passing. This weekend as I think of her, I encourage you to remember and rejoice in the gift of a godly mother.

Faith of our [mothers], holy faith!

We will be true to thee till death!

The Scriptures are full of stories spotlighting the vital role of motherhood in God’s mission.

________

Though the American holiday of Mother’s Day is only about 100 years old, various cultures have set aside time to pay homage to mothers for millennia.

For Christians, this celebration involves honoring motherhood through the lens of God’s revelation at the heart of our faith. Our scriptural narrative discloses the inclusion of mothers in God’s divine purposes from creation to new creation.

God’s original plan is that humans would fill the earth and steward it (Gen. 1:28). That project is unsustainable without mothers who give birth to the humans who will cultivate God’s good creation. Even after the first created woman (and man) tarnishes the goodness, beauty, and simplicity of that plan with disobedience, God never gives up on her or the plan.

It is after their transgression and the entrance of pain, division, and even death that Adam sees evidence of God’s grace in his partner — who is fittingly named Eve (3:20). because she will be mother of the living (Eve and living are closely related in Hebrew). Death will not have the final word, and the hope of God’s plan will continue through her because she will bring forth life. The narrator allows her to proclaim God’s grace in the birth of her children (4:1, 4:25).

Mothers recede into the background as most of the genealogies focus on fathers and sons — but without mothers, of course, these family lines would not continue at all. Over and over again, God invites the participation of women in the divine plan of life.

At times, however, the narrative spotlight of Scripture does fall upon mothers. Time would fail me to recount all the mothers in the Bible who heard and accepted the call to join God’s mission on earth — but some stories are too good not to mention.

Early on, the divine plan for a good creation focuses on one family — and a scandalously imperfect one at that. Abraham and Sarah are admittedly the focus of the drama, but for a while Hagar steals the show.

Not only was she born outside of the chosen family, but she is their slave. As such, she has no rights over her body but is made to play one role of motherhood that Sarah could not. Her story is painful, infuriating, and more complex than I trust myself to navigate, but she belongs in the hall of faithful mothers.

When she and her son are cast out, God sends an angelic messenger directly to her. And as Adam recognized and proclaimed the hopeful truth about Eve by naming her, Hagar recognizes and names the hopeful truth of God’s identity — by declaring God to be El Roi, the God who sees (Gen. 16:13).

God hears her cry and saves her and the boy from death so that he too might multiply and fill the earth. In this act, God sees and cares for a despised Egyptian slave mother.

If we fast forward to the part of the biblical story where the Egyptians are no longer the slaves but the enslavers, another mother grabs our attention.

Jochebed finds herself pregnant in an era of genocide — but instead of throwing her newborn infant into the Nile, she hides him for three months.

In addition to the physical weariness and lack of sleep in the early weeks after giving birth, she shoulders the constant fear for his life. And when she can no longer hide his cries, she again resists the forces of death by placing him in a homemade basket on the banks of the Nile. We know this placement is not haphazard since Pharoah’s daughter often came to that part of the river to bathe.

But Jochebed returns home by this point, leaving her daughter to keep watch. As a mother, I imagine she could not bear to stand by and hear the cries of her increasingly hungry infant. I can also imagine the relief of this breastfeeding mother, emotional and physical, when her daughter Miriam returns with her baby and says, He’s alive! You can feed him, and you will be paid for doing so!

As one who was given the incredible blessing of nursing my own children, I cannot read this story without feeling it in my body. Jochebed protects her baby Moses — whose name sounds like the Hebrew word for “to draw out.” This baby becomes the man God chooses to lead the people of Israel out of slavery. And yet without Jochebed’s ingenuity, care, and grit, God’s deliverance through Moses would not have happened.

At another pivotal moment in the biblical story, the fervent prayers of one woman open the pathway leading to the king of Israel. The book of 1 Samuel opens to Hannah, a barren woman who expresses her longing to be a mother to God with great cries and tears, year by year. While she prays at the temple, she is so earnest in her distress that the priest Eli thinks she is drunk.

When God grants her request and opens her womb, she cares for her son until he is weaned and then delivers him to the temple so that he might serve God. The boy is attentive to the voice of the Lord — a skill befitting the child of a praying woman — and he grows to be the very prophet who anoints the famous shepherd-turned-king-of-Israel David due to a word from the Lord.

Hannah’s prayers were answered by his birth, and her own faithfulness contributed to his discernment. She not only plays a vital role in Samuel’s story, but she also voices a powerful and influential hymn of praise (1 Sam 2:1–10). God ordains the words of this mother as Scripture — in an exhortation for readers to magnify the God who lifts up the downtrodden.

In the New Testament, Jesus interacts with several mothers — including his striking exchange with a Syrophoenician woman.

When the woman, who remains unnamed, hears that Jesus has arrived in her territory, she wastes no time in going to him and begging him to heal her daughter. At first, Jesus seems to rebuff her, disassociating her from the children of Israel and associating her with wild dogs (Mark 7:24–29).

But this mama bear will not be turned away. In fierce commitment to her daughter, she calls him out on his own metaphor. If he really is the Lord who brings abundance, there should be more than enough bread for the dogs to enjoy the crumbs that fall from the table of full-bellied children.

In response, Jesus praises her faith (Matt. 15:28) and heals her daughter. It is her bold humility — both kneeling at Jesus’ feet but also expecting God to be who God is, just as in the psalmist’s laments (Ps. 42) — that gives us a template for the kind of faith that pleases God. Her faith, like that of so many others in the gospel, sets the stage for Christ’s restoration of God’s good creation.

In fact, her words are said weekly by Christians across the globe in the Prayer of Humble Access: “We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under your table, but you are the same Lord whose property is always to have mercy.” For herself and countless others, her posture of humble boldness teaches us how to pray for God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.

To contemplate and celebrate every mother’s story recounted in Scripture would require far more time than a single day on the calendar. But as intriguing and often important as they are in God’s plan, most of these mothers’ brave deeds were not strictly necessary.

God could have chosen a different person to lead the Exodus than a man who was saved by the wisdom of his mother. God could have communicated the necessity of humbly bold faith through someone other than the persistent mother from Syrophoenicia.

The fact that God freely chose to communicate to and accomplish the divine plan through women tells us that the imago Dei in women is expressed by their participation in building God’s kingdom.

But it is Eve who, as mother of all living human beings, provides the template for every mother who followed. God orchestrated the divine design of biological life such that women are necessary to the continuation of the human race. Mothers give of their bodies, their energy, their time, and their love so that new humans can live and flourish.

The same is true for eternal life.

God chose to redeem an errant and corrupted creation by entering into it as a creature when God became human in the person of Jesus Christ — the foundational act that enabled our redemption. Genesis 3:15 is often called the protoevangelium, the pre-gospel. In it, God says to Eve that the tempter will attack her and her offspring — but that her Son would crush the enemy’s head.

God could have chosen to redeem the world in any way aligned with his divine character but chose Incarnation. He chose to invite Mary, a poor young Jewish woman, to participate in that process. The triune God of heaven chose Mary of Nazareth to be the mother of Jesus, the eternal and only begotten Son. From her body, God took on flesh. From her milk, God received sustenance. Under her instruction, God the Son grew in wisdom and favor with his Father and fellow man (Luke 2:52).

The multifaceted stories of mothers throughout Scripture are tethered to this center. As Jochebed protected her son from the threat of death, so did Mary. As Hannah sang God’s praise, so did Mary. The body-and-soul investment of her motherhood was indispensable to a divine redemptive plan realized in Jesus the Messiah — Son of God and Son of Mary.

Motherhood is not something Christians should regard as a mere cultural or familial issue. Motherhood is the vehicle by which God chose to redeem the world. “Women’s issues” aren’t ancillary to Christian theology — they are at the heart of our story!

Celebrating motherhood is a Christian act. Not only do we give thanks to God for our very lives, made possible by our mothers, but we also praise God for accepting Mary’s tenacious faith — and designating her body to bear the source of our eternal life.

Mothers, God honors you. The silent sacrifices that no one else sees — of your body, soul, and spirit — are seen and celebrated by your Father in heaven. These are the very ingredients the Lord uses to accomplish his ongoing reconciliation of all things.

________

Amy Peeler is associate professor of New Testament at Wheaton College and associate rector at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church in Geneva, Illinois.

It is said that a young man became very profligate. He almost broke

the hearts of his parents. The mother was actually about to die from

the strain. Finally, one day he acted so shamefully that his father

said to him, "We have done everything in our power for you. You have

disgraced the family and are killing your mother. All that we do for

you is in vain. I am sorry, but I must ask you to leave our home and

never return." The young man left.

The months and years went by. Finally the boy became so miserable

and homesick it seemed he could not stand it. So he wrote his mother

this letter: "Dear Mother: I am ashamed of my fearful conduct in the

home. I can hardly stand to think I must never see you again. However,

I do not know whether or not Father and you can forgive me. But I will

be on train No. 2 that passes your home at 10:00 a.m. [Then he gave

the day.] Now if you can forgive me and will take me back, I want you

to hang a sheet out on the clothesline. I shall look as the train

passes and, if I see the sheet, I will know that you will forgive me,

and I will get off at the next station, just below the house, and come

home."

Well, what do you think she did? Not only did she hang out one

sheet, but every sheet, towel, pillowcase and everything else white

that she had. The clothesline, fence, and rosebushes were covered with

sheets, towels, etc. Of course he came home, and, oh, such a welcome!

It was forgiveness in abundance.

William Moses Tidwell, "Pointed Illustrations."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

*

“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

I have been following the trend of hyper-concerned parents that literally hover (a helicopter term) over their kids even through their college years. One author commented that, “You fit the description if you are texting your college-age son about the best choice of cuisine at the campus deli.” You might already be thinking that college is a time to be letting go, but many parents are just warming up. Ask any college administrator about continued parental involvement and you will hear tales of parents repeatedly calling their child’s professors to protest Johnny’s C in Sociology that could damage his shot at grad school. There is ongoing concern that this issue of college students’ parental dependency is bearing fruit when youngsters arrive on campus without the ability to make their own decisions and basically grapple with issues of daily adult life. How did we get to this point of keeping kids in a longer than normal state of dependency?

Although I don’t regularly read Psychology Today, I recently ran across some quotes from an author named Hara Estroff Marano. She had written an article called “A Nation of Wimps” (1) It should be read by any parents or grandparents concerned about the results of hyper-protective parenting. She went on to write a book of the same name but I haven’t read it. Nothing in the article states her beliefs. What do you think of the concept that kids really do need to feel badly (emotionally) sometimes, because through bad experiences, they learn how to cope? If you agree with this, welcome to the minority. This is a foreign concept to this generation of hyper-protectors who were likely coddled by the baby boomer generation. Marano explains, “Although error and experimentation are the true mothers of success, parents are taking pains to remove failures from the equation.” We are seeing schools that have stopped allowing that terrible game of tag, where being “it” can create a self-esteem issue. Also Dodge Ball and Red Rover are coming under fire across our country. How dare we have games that “encourage aggression,” or reward the swift and clever kids. We need to get real about this. Games have winners and losers and sometimes the losers even have to sit out – but guess what, it isn’t the end of the world! At least so far, I haven’t seen any statistics to prove that losses at kids’ games can lead to any serious mental health issues.

This is going to sound heretical, but a strong case can be made that we must allow our children to experience failure. This isn’t a concept that you hear much today. Instead, we see our kids or grandkids as little trophies to be polished. We see life as a competitive game for kids and we are determined that they finish at the top even if it means cutting corners, changing rules or (heaven forbid) doing the work ourselves.

We, as Christian parents, can fall into the same trap of worldly success being the hallmark of achievement. We certainly want to encourage excellence, but we must define it in biblical terms consistent with the gospel. Our primary concern should be that they are raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (see verse above) and are pointed toward God’s purpose for their life, and this may include risk. A life devoted to the cause of the gospel should be every parent’s goal for his or her child. (2)

Morano’s article should serve as a dire warning that we must avoid protecting our children from the sometimes painful process of growing into responsible adulthood. We certainly must guard them from danger and physically harmful activities, but we must not shield them from reality. Part of our “training up” should include dealing with the problems in life, and not evading them. I am certainly no expert in parenting and made my share of mistakes in the process. My wife and I were, by God’s grace, able to raise two children who were totally independent by college graduation. We now are prayerfully observing the raising of our eight grandchildren (five of them by SKYPE as they are in South Africa). These kids are not being coddled, nor are their immediate friends. When they visit “Nana and Dat,” they sometimes get to experience hard work, routine disappointments (like losing in games), and even an occasional skinned knee. Our goal is to “keep the wimps at bay, raising troops for come what may.”

________

1. Psychology Today, “A Nation of Wimps” Nov-Dec 2004

2. Culture Shift, by R. Albert Mohler