72 Sermon Illustrations on Gossip

Small Group Letter: Enhancing Small Group Life and Ministry Interview with Dr. Kenneth C. Haugk, executive director of Stephen Ministries

Q: WHAT CAUSES DESTRUCTIVE CONFLICT IN A SMALL GROUP?

A: Destructive conflict usually will not occur without an antagonist. I

define an antagonist as an individual who goes out of the way to make

unreasonable demands, usually attacking the person or performance of

others. These attacks are selfish in nature, tearing down rather than

building up, and are frequently directed against those in leadership.

Please note the difference between healthy conflict and destructive conflict.

It is healthy conflict to honestly - even heatedly - disagree with

something that is being discussed in the group. But the goal here is to

be heard, to express a viewpoint, and not to tear down. However, the

goal of the antagonist is to usurp power or to criticize and tear down

someone (especially the leader), often behind the person's back. That is

destructive. The antagonist's critical nature and behavior - left

unchecked - will destroy a group. (above used 3/15/98)

Q: ARE ANTAGONISTS A FAIRLY COMMON PROBLEM IN SMALL GROUPS?

A: More so than we would like. Not every small group has one, obviously, but

I would imagine that in every fairly large congregation's small group

ministry, a few of the small groups will have an antagonist or two.

Unfortunately, the church is not immune from antagonists.

Q: WHAT CAUSES PEOPLE TO BE ANTAGONISTS?

A: It is generally a result of unresolved, deep-seated problems: low self-

concept; a high need for attention; a history of not being affirmed; a

history of being pushed down, which causes them to rise up and challenge

or attack. They are individuals who basically do not feel very good

about themselves. Hitler was an extreme antagonist. He felt inferior to

others. (He was short and was rejected from the Vienna Art School.) He

felt inadequate and was determined to compensate by becoming a big shot,

by having power. Many antagonists may even be quite popular and

effective, as was Hitler for awhile. He helped revive the German economy

and helped provide a car, the Volkswagon, for every family. In the

extreme, antagonists are sociopathic.

Q: HOW CAN A SMALL GROUP LEADER DETECT AN ANTAGONIST?

A: Some early warning signs that antagonists send out include:

CRITICISM OF PAST LEADERS: As early as the first group session, the

person may criticize the leader of another group in which he was

involved. The criticism will be unsolicited.

"BUDDY-BUDDY': The person may show a strong, overly aggressive desire to

get close to the leader very early. He may want to take the leader

out for coffee or call him at home often. He may be very helpful and

effusive with praise. Initially he may be the leader's best

supporter. Then something will happen - the leader may not even know

what - and the antagonist will suddenly turn against the leader.

THE 'OTHER-PEOPLE-SAY' SYNDROME: The person may come to the leader and

say, "There are a number of people in our group who have come to me,

and they're a little concerned about this. I just wanted to pass it

on to you, to help you.' But when questioned further, the "others"

will be nameless or the person will say that he can't tell who they

are because of "confidentiality."

PREVIOUS TRACK RECORD FLAG. Another sign to watch for is a history of

being disruptive in other groups or situations or a tendency to jump

from one group to another.

Q: WHAT SHOULD A GROUP LEADER DO ABOUT AN ANTAGONIST?

A: If you recognize an antagonist ahead of time, try not to let him become

involved in your group. That's the first and best thing. Once he gets

in, chances are you're going to have a tussle, no matter what you do.

Once the antagonist becomes part of the group, do not placate him. Speak

directly to him at the time of disruption or criticism and say, "That is

not appropriate. What you are saying is destructive to this group, and I

will not allow that to happen." Be strong. Never allow an antagonist to

gain the upper hand or the ability to intimidate. Exercise the authority

you have as the group leader. Also, don't call him at home and plead

with him to be nicer in the group. That will only give him a position of

authority and power - which is what he wants. If necessary, simply ask

him not to return to the group. He needs counseling and spiritual help,

not your small group.

I need a small group for several reasons. First, I need to hear what others are learning because I learn from other people. We sometimes get the idea that God only speaks to us through the Bible and our own private devotions. But I believe that God gave us each other so that He might communicate through us to one another. A second reason is that I need to see God at work in other people. Without this, my Christianity can easily become very intellectualized, more head-oriented than heart-oriented. I need to be reminded of the changes and beauty God is bringing about in the lives of individuals. One of the best ways for this to happen is to be regularly involved in the lives of others within the context of a small group. Watching God at work in these "up-close" relationships helps me keep the sense of excitement and reality in my Christianity. Finally, my small group is a tremendous source of support. I need to be praying for others and having others pray for me. Small groups help keep me from becoming an island.

#4203

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Monk confesses he is guilty of gossiping. Monsignor orders him to place a feather on each doorstep in town. Then tells him to collect them. ‘Impossible! They have blown all over town.’ Monsignor responded, ‘So it is with your words, my son.’

Alan Redpath once formed a "mutual encouragement" fellowship at a time of stress in one of his pastorates. The members subscribed to a simple formula applied before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial.

T - Is it true?

H - Is it helpful?

I - Is it inspiring?

N - Is it necessary?

K - Is it kind?

If what we are about to say does not pass these tests, we should keep our mouth shut. It works!

Breaking confidences is the #1 problem women have with each other, according to USA Today (Dec. 19, 1993). Men are equally concerned about confidentiality. People have different ideas about what it involves.

Four principles of confidentiality are beneficial:

1. Set a guard at the door of your lips.

2. Redirect questions back to the source.

3. Keep information general.

4. Understand the consequences of breaking a trust.

#3256

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A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.

“Go to the marketplace,” he said, “and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road.”

Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.

The next day the wise man said, “Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me.”

The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.

“You see,” said the old sage, “it’s easy to drop them, but it’s impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn’t take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong.

[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #7459]

Wouldn't this old world be better

If folks we meet would say,

"I know something good about you."

And then treat you that way?

Wouldn't it be fine and dandy,

If each handclasp warm and true

Carried with it this assurance,

I know something good about you!"

Wouldn't life be lots more happy

If the good that's in us all,

Were the only thing about us,

That folks bothered to recall?

Wouldn't life be lots more happy,

If we praised the good we see?

For there's a lot of goodness

In the worst of you and me.

Wouldn't it be nice to practice

That fine way of thinking too?

You know something good about me!

I know something good about you!"

Will Rogers once said that we should live in such a way that we would not be ashamed to sell our family parrot ... to the town gossip.

-- Rusty & Linda Wright, 500 Clean Jokes, p. 178.

"Of every ten persons who talk about you, nine will say

something bad, and the tenth will say something good in a bad

way."

- Antoine Rivarol

- _Instant Quotation Dictionary_, p. 147.

"The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about

them."

- Will Rogers

- _Instant Quotation Dictionary_, p. 147.

"None are so fond of secrets as those who do not mean to keep

them."

- Charles Caleb Colton

- _Instant Quotation Dictionary_, p. 147.

A country pastor

complained to one of his members who had not bee in church the precious Sunday. "I had haying to do," the farmer explained.

"It was over in the back field where no one could see me working on the

Sabbath." "But

God saw you," the pastor protested. "I know that, but He's not as

gossipy as the people around here!"

At a flower shop in rural West Virginia, Campbell’s Creek, an isolated mining hollow, the owner is a chap named Bill Grayolis, 41. A while back Mr. Grayolis lost weight and whispers started around town that he had AIDS. And then there was some graffiti and there were threats. He was labeled a queer, a carrier of AIDS. Customers that he had known for 20 years stopped coming to his store. One long-time woman customer drove up and stopped and threw her check inside the flower shop but then she returned hastily to her car and drove away.

Well, that did it. Mr. Grayolis gave up the diet with which he’d purposely been losing weight. He got himself blood-tested for AIDS and proved that he does not have the virus. He posted the medical report on the window of his shop, but the whispers persist. West Virginia Attorney General says shame on the cruel people of Campbell’s Creek, but still the whispers persist. Now his delivery van has been trashed, his windows have been smashed, his business is depleted. Bill Grayolis does not have AIDS, but he is being destroyed by contagious ignorance.

Abraham Lincoln's coffin was pried open twice. The first occasion

was in 1887, twenty-two long years after his assassination. Why? You

may be surprised to know it was not to determine if he had died of a

bullet fired from John Wilkes Booth's derringer. Then why? Because a

rumor was sweeping the country that his coffin was empty. A select

group of witnesses observed that the rumor was totally false, then

watched as the casket was resealed with lead.

The second time, fourteen years later, the martyred man's withered

body was viewed again--this time by even more witnesses. Why again?

For the same grim purpose! Rumors of the same nature had again

implanted doubts in the public's mind. The pressure mounted to such

proportions, that the same ghoulish, grotesque ceremony had to be

carried out. In spite of the strong protests of Lincoln's son Robert,

the body was exposed a second time. Officials felt the rumors should

be laid to rest along with the Civil War president. Finally -- the

corpse was permanently embedded in a crypt at Springfield.

Pierre Van Paasen wrote a story of a hunchback by the name of Ugolin who fell sick. He never knew his father, and his mother was a drunken outcast. He had a lovely sister named Solange who loved Ugolin and it was she who took care of him. However, the only way she could make enough money to buy his medicine was to sell her body, so she worked as a prostitute.

People talked harshly about them, ridiculing Ugolin's deformity and belittling and reviling Solange for her prostitution. They treated them with such contempt that Ugolin drowned himself in the river, after which Solange shot herself. At their funeral the little village church was crowded. The minister mounted the pulpit and began his sermon. “Christians,” he said scornfully, “Christians, when the Lord of life and death shall ask me on the Day of Judgment, 'Where are thy sheep?’ I shall not answer Him. When the Lord asks me the second time, `Where are thy sheep?’ I will yet not answer Him. But when the Lord shall ask me a third time, `Where are thy sheep?’ I shall hang my head in shame and I will answer Him, `They were not sheep, Lord; they were a pack of wolves.'“[1]

Having no facility with foreign languages, but a suspicion that there was more to the story, I looked up the name Solange. It is derived from the Latin word for “religious.”

____________

1. Charles L. Allen, quoting from “Pierre Van Paasen, THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES” in GOD'S PSYCHIATRY (Jove/HBJ Book, 1978), pp. 77.

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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #6051]

When D. L. Moody and his family retired for the evening on October 8, 1871, Mr. Moody felt sure his family was a safe distance from a fire that was burning in another part of Chicago. But in the early morning hours the Moodys were awakened and warned to flee their home. Fanned by fierce winds, the great fire raged throughout the city, devouring everything -- including Moody's home and church -- in its path.

A fire that had reportedly started in a cow's stall leveled an entire city in a matter of hours, leaving 100,000 people homeless, 17,500 buildings destroyed, and 300 people dead.

We know that words can spread like fire, too. Since words implant ideas in our minds and stir emotions, their effects for good or evil can be profound.

Five ideas will help us control our tongues:

1. Never say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to his face.

2. Never say anything about someone unless she is there to respond.

3. Refuse to listen to someone else's gossip.

4. Initiate positive statements about people whom you're discussing.

5. Remember, “The tongue ... is a fire” (James 3:6)

__________

Max Lucado, {On the Anvil}, (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers Inc., 1985), 134.

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John Dryden, a seventh-century British dramatist and poet, once

commented on man's propensity to gossip:

There is a lust in man no charm cah tame, Of loudly publishing his

neighbor's shame. Hence, on eagle's wings immortal scandals fly,

While virtuous actions are but born and die.

Remember Me? My name is Gossip. I have no respect for Justice. I maim

without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and

malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more

I am believed. I flourish at every level of society.. My victims are

helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no

face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more

elusive I become. I am nobody's friend. Once I tarnish a reputation,

it is never quite the same. My name is Gossip.

- {Ann Landers} Creators Syndicate

My Source: EXPOSITORY FILES, 7.1

January 2000

Author: Mark Roberts

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Electronic Gossip

by Mark Roberts

The Bible contains strong warnings about gossip and slander. "A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends" (Proverbs 16:28). "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases" (Proverbs 26:20). Yet gossip continues to be a plague upon God's people because, in all honesty, we enjoy it: "The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles" (Proverbs 26:22). Now technology has brought an entirely new way of gossiping. It is just as sinful as before, but now it is easier than ever to slander and lie about others. We can gossip electronically, via email!

Incredibly, such gossiping allows Christians to do things they would never do in a face to face fashion. We all know that repeating dubious reports to others is gossip and wrong. If someone told you "Brother so-and-so is a Satan worshiper" we all know that such a report would need to be personally checked before it was broadcast around. To do otherwise would be gossiping, right? How then does that change when the medium for spreading lies and slander becomes electronic? Is it right to gossip about people over email, when we would never do such "face to face?" Yet my email box brims with electronic gossip nearly every day.

For example, did you get the email about Proctor and Gamble's CEO going on the Sally Jesse Raphael show and announcing he is a Satanist? I received this email from no less than ten different people. Each email me assured me this was all fact, that I could verify P & G's ties to Satanism, that I could write Sally Jesse and get a transcript, P & G was changing their logo to a "666" to let everyone know they were a Satanic company, etc. The point of the email was to urge all Christians to boycott P & G products. Yet it is all a lie. No P & G executive has ever gone on any television talk show. P & G is not "coming out" on their satanic ties. Their CEO is not a devil worshiper. P & G has dealt with rumors about their logo (no, it isn't a satanic symbol either) for years. Several years ago this CEO rumor started, originally with the CEO supposedly going on the Donahue show. Now the rumor has mutated and says he went on the Sally Jesse show. But again, it is not true at all. There is not a shred of truth to any of it. How many people are boycotting P & G products based on these lies? How much harm has been done to this innocent company by well-meaning Christians who simply didn't check their facts before they clicked "forward?" As an extra word of caution, you should know that P & G is so tired of all of this that they are actively suing (and winning!) those who are participate in these malicious rumors!

Have you seen the rumor about Janet Reno? Supposedly she went on 60 Minutes and said "A cultist is one who has a strong belief in the Bible and the Second Coming of Christ; who frequently attends Bible studies; who has a high level of financial giving to a Christian cause; who home schools their children; who has accumulated survival foods and has a strong belief in the Second Amendment; and who distrusts big government. Any of these may qualify a person as a cultist but certainly more than one of these would cause us to look at this person as a threat and his family as being in a risk situation that qualifies for government interference." Guess what? It is a lie. Whether you like or approve of Janet Reno and her politics is simply not the issue. Does her political stand on some issues justify Christians spreading rumors and lies about her? Of course not.

These are just two of examples that could be multiplied over. Just because something shows up in your email box crying "wolf" doesn't mean it is true!

Let me make some observations about these multiplying urban legends and rumors. First, some folks are pretty gullible. What if the CEO of a major company was a Satanist? How stupid would he have to be to go on national televison and tell everyone? Does that sound very likely? Why then do we believe this kind of nonsense, falling it for "hook, line and sinker?" Most of these Internet rumors and gossip are transparently false. Have you seen the one about the American Cancer Society donating two cents for every person who gets a copy of an email plea? Honestly, how is the ACS going to keep up with that? Who checks the list? When will it end - if it were true ACS could go bankrupt off the deal! Further, where does the ACS get all this extra money to throw around based on email forwarding? Recently I received (for the twentieth time) the infamous Clinton Body Count email. It lists scores of people with some connection to Bill Clinton who all died under "mysterious circumstances." Most of it is just made up and not true. But even if it were, doesn't anyone find it amazing that Clinton can bump off minor players in his scheming but somehow couldn't deal with Linda Tripp and Monica Lewinsky? I'm not defending Bill Clinton by any means but just a little thinking ought to cause a person to say "Hey, wait a minute here!"

By the way, the supposed "Lost Day" that NASA computers found is also a hoax. Ditto for the Neiman Marcus/Bloomingdale's cookie recipe story, all stories claiming an email can infect your computer with a virus, and the repeated story that if you "forward this email 1000 times Microsoft will give you $1000." All are Internet hoaxes. All are obviously false. If we will just think before we click "forward" many times it will be apparent that we are being hoaxed.

Secondly, while some of the rumors on the Internet are silly and harmless (if not tiring and a waste of time) many are nothing but sinful gossip. The Janet Reno story and the P & G story cited above fall into this category. As Christians we bear responsibility for what we say and what we communicate to others. Slandering persons or companies is simply not right. Titus 3:2 reminds us to "speak evil of no one." 1 Timothy 5:13 warns about young widows who "learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not." Wouldn't being idle include wandering from Internet site to Internet site, emailing gossip about things we ought not?

To make it even worse, all this email gossip is just destroying the ability of a good medium to pass along real news and sound genuine alarms. So many untrue reports make it even more unlikely that anyone would believe a real report of danger if such arose.

Third, electronic gossip is a particularly sad sin because it is so easy to check out these rumors. P & G's web site has an area devoted to debunking these terrible lies ( \webpage{http://www.pg.com/rumor/index.html#sally} ). Several web sites are devoted exclusively to tracking urban legends and lies. Enter "urban legend" into any search engine and you will get a long list of such sites. I personally like the San Fernando Valley Folklore Society's site ( \webpage{http://www.snopes.com} ) because it is searchable. It took only a moment to go to this site, enter "Reno" into their search form, and receive a full page of information discussing this rumor and its origins. Since it is so easy to find the truth, what possible excuse do we have for spreading lies?

The Internet and email are wonderful technological innovations that improve the quality of our lives dramatically. We can use these tools to spread the Gospel of Christ literally all over the globe. Let us make certain that we are not falling prey to perverting these tools into something that spreads the kingdom of darkness. "Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips and from a deceitful tongue" (Psalms 120:2).

From Abundant Life, Vol. 32, No. 9, Sept. 1999

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________________________ end of article _______________________

DRL NOTE: The article above, published by non-institutional brethren, is right on target and deals with a matter that is more and more to be a problem as more and more folks get connected to cyberspace. It is such an EASY matter to hit a couple of buttons with the mouse and spread untruths. I am sure that many of the examples cited above are very familiar to you. There is also the danger of spreading rumors and gossip of a more personal nature than these examples cited. I would suggest that a great amount of care and concern needs to be summoned BEFORE hitting that forward key and spreading some matter, the accuracy of which I am not so certain.

Here is another area for the development of self-control. Along with the great good that can be accomplished by Email and the internet, there are also temptations to sin for which we must keep eyes wide open, lest we yield! The more "impersonal" medium of Email seems to grant an uncharacteristic boldness to some. Sometimes we are tempted to make statements through this media that we would never consider in more personal confrontations. Caution! Think before you forward! If it seems unbelievable, it probably needs further investigation. May God grant us the wisdom to use this wonderful electronic communication tool in a way that glorifies Him!

"Character is what you are in the dark."

-- Dwight L. Moody, evangelist

"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."

-- Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President

"When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost."

-- Billy Graham

"Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures."

-- Horace Greeley

"Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character..."

-- Stephen Covey

"Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there."

-- John Wooden

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."

-- James D. Miles (later used by Malcolm Forbes)

"Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are."

-- John Wooden

"Character is a quality that embodies many important traits, such as integrity, courage, perseverance, confidence and wisdom. Unlike your fingerprints that you are born with and can't change, character is something that you create within yourself and must take responsibility for changing"

-- Jim Rohn

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

-- Helen Keller

"The virtue of man ought to be measured, not by his extraordinary exertions, but by his everyday conduct."

-- Blaise Pascal

"When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them."

-- Plato

"People rarely disclose their character so clearly as when they describe someone else's."

-- (unknown)

"Character is that force that enables an individual to carry out a resolution once the mood in which that resolution was born has died."

-- (unknown)

"A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents."

-- G. C. Lichtenberg

"Character is a victory, not a gift."

-- (unknown)

"There is no such thing as a "self-made" man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success."

-- George Matthew Adams

"Every man has three characters--that which he exhibits, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has."

-- Alphonse Karr

"You must look into people, as well as at them."

-- Lord Chesterfield

"Instead of saying that man is the creature of circumstance, it would be nearer the mark to say that man is the architect of circumstance. It is character which builds an existence out of circumstance. From the same materials one man builds palaces, another hovels; one warehouses, another villas; bricks and mortar are mortar and bricks until the architect can make them something else."

-- Thomas Carlyle

"Let us not say, Every man is the architect of his own fortune; but let us say, Every man is the architect of his own character."

-- George Dana Boardman

"Weakness of character is the only defect which cannot be amended."

-- François de La Rochefoucauld

"Characters do not change. Opinions alter, but characters are only developed."

-- Benjamin Disraeli

"The four cornerstones of character on which the structure of this nation was built are: Initiative, Imagination, Individuality and Independence."

-- Edward Rickenbacker

"Of all the properties which belong to honorable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character."

-- Henry Clay

"A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's."

-- Jean Paul Richter

"Character is not made in a crisis -- it is only exhibited."

-- Robert Freeman

"Man's character is his fate."

-- Heraclitus

“Small courtesies, small considerations, habitually practiced in our daily lives, give a greater charm to the character than any display of great talents or accomplishments.”

-- M. A. Kelty, SermonCentral newsletter, 1/27/03

“The supreme test of goodness is not in the greater but in the smaller incidents of our character and practice; not what we are when standing in the searchlight of public scrutiny, but when we reach the firelight flicker of our homes; not what we are when some clarion-call rings through the air, summoning us to fight for life and liberty, but our attitude when we are called to sentry-duty in the gray morning, when the watch-fire is burning low. It is impossible to be our best at the supreme moment if character is corroded and eaten into by daily inconsistency, unfaithfulness, and besetting sin.”

-- F. B. Meyer in “Our Daily Walk”, quoted in SermonCentral newsletter

"If you will think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself."

-- Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924), 28th U.S. President, B&P 3/14/03

"No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), Wit & Wisdom 5/7/04

"Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

"What you are thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Wealth stays with us a little moment if at all: only our characters are steadfast, not our gold."

-- Euripides

"Education which stops with efficiency may prove the greatest menace to society. We must remember that intelligence is not enough. Intelligence plus character -- that is the goal of true education."

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Character is like the foundation of a house. Most of it is below the surface."

-- unknown

These were collected by Pastor Peter Laitres:

=============================================

“I stand before my neighbors on my character; but in heaven I have no standing myself at all. I stand there in the character of my Savior.”

-- Paul Daniel Rader (1879–1938)

“Sow a thought and you reap an act;

Sow an act and you reap a habit;

Sow a habit and you reap a character;

Sow a character and you reap a destiny.”

-– Samuel Smiles (1812–1904)

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.”

-- former Oklahoma Representative J. C. Watts

“If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself.”

-- D. L. Moody (1837 - 1899)

“It is a very serious duty, perhaps of all duties the most serious, to look into one’s own character and conduct, and accurately read one’s own heart. It is virtually looking into eternity, and all its vast and solemn realities, which must appear delightful or awful, according as the heart appears to be conformed or not conform to God.”

-- Emmons

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”

-– Sam Ewing

“It’s not the hours you put in your work that counts, it’s the work you put in the hours.”

-– Sam Ewing

“Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.”

-- Solon (638 BC - 559 BC)

““Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us.”

-- Thomas Paine (1737-1809) [also attributed to Horace Mann (1796 - 1859) -- see note 1 below]

“Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses or avoids.”

-- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

“A man’s reputation is what other people think of him; his character is what he really is.”

-– Jack Miner

“Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared; but only men of character are trusted.”

-- Author Unknown

“God alters our disposition, but he does not make our character. When God alters my disposition, the first thing the new disposition will do is to stir up my brain to think along God’s line. As I begin to think, begin to work out what God has worked in, it will become character. Character is consolidated thought. God makes me pure in heart; I must make myself pure in conduct.”

-- Oswald Chambers (1874–1917)

“God does not supply us with character; he gives us the life of his Son, and we can either ignore him and refuse to obey him, or we can so obey him, so bring every thought and imagination into captivity, that the life of Jesus is manifested in our mortal flesh. It is not a question of being saved from hell, but of being saved in order to manifest the Son of God in our mortal flesh. Our responsibility is to keep ourselves fit to manifest him.”

-- Oswald Chambers (1874–1917)

“God has a program of character development for each one of us. He wants others to look at our lives and say, ‘He walks with God, for he lives like Christ.’”

-- Erwin W. Lutzer (1941– )

“God is more concerned about our character than our comfort. His goal is not to pamper us physically but to perfect us spiritually.”

-- Paul W. Powell

“I’ve seen the difference character makes in individual football players. Give me a choice between an outstanding athlete with poor character and a lesser athlete of good character; and I’ll choose the latter every time. The athlete with good character will often perform to his fullest potential and be a successful football player; while the outstanding athlete with poor character will usually fail to play up to his potential and often won’t even achieve average performance.”

-- Tom Landry (1924–2000)

“The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.”

-- Thomas Babington Macaulay (1800–1859)

“You can’t make a good cloak out of bad cloth.”

-- Spanish Proverb

“You cannot carve rotten wood.”

-- Chinese Proverb

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1. Paine's quote has been variously attributed. "Reputation is what men and women think of us, character is what God and the angels know of us" is attributed to Thomas Paine in A Dictionary of Terms, Phrases, and Quotations (1895) edited by Henry Percy Smith, and Helen Kendrick Johnson.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Horace_Mann notes that it is attributed to Horace Mann, in The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations (1998) edited by Connie Robertson, but the earliest published variant of such a declaration seem to be in an anecdote about an anonymous Boston woman in 1889: "I have the reputation of being of good moral character. But you know reputation is what people think of us, while character is what God and the angels know of us, and that I don’t want to tell." (Anonymous Boston woman, as quoted in Current Opinion [1889]).

Price Collier, in Sermons (1892) put it this way: "There is a very great difference — is there not? — between the temporal and the eternal judgments, a very great difference between a man’s reputation and a man’s character, for reputation is what men think and say of us, while character is what God and the angels know of us."

Winston Churchill was attending an official ceremony in London. Two men behind him recognized him and began to whisper behind his back. "They say Churchill's quite senile now," said the one.

"Yes, they say he's doing England more harm than good," replied the other.

"They say he should step aside and leave the running of this government to younger, more dynamic people," continued the first man.

Churchill turned and in a loud voice said, "They also say he's quite deaf."

--Andrew Carr as quoted in Humor for Preaching & Teaching, p. 48

T.S. - The problem with gossip is that much of it is untrue and unfounded. Proverbs 15:7 says, "The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the heart of fools." Submitted by Bob Hine

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said,

“Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That's right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and...”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary...”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

One time, twenty or so years ago, Gordon MacDonald was in Japan on a speaking tour with a close personal friend who was a number of years older than Gordon was. As they walked down the street in Yokohama, Japan, the name of a common friend came up, and Gordon said something unkind about that person. It was sarcastic. It was cynical. It was a put-down. The older friend stopped, turned, and faced him until his face was right in front of MacDonald's. With deep, slow words he said, “Gordon, a man who says he loves God would not say a thing like that about a friend.”

He could have put a knife into his ribs, and the pain would not have been any less. He did what a prophet does. But you know something? There have been ten thousand times in the last twenty years that Gordon has been saved from making a jerk of himself. When he has been tempted to say something unkind about a brother or sister, he hear his friend’s voice say, “Gordon, a man who says he loves God would not speak in such a way about a friend.”

Prophets do that. They remind us of the truth and where we are falling short. If you avoid prophets — and a lot of people do — you do so at the peril of your spiritual journey. You and I need prophets.

”And then he [Jesus] told them, ‘You are to go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone, everywhere” (Mark 16:15, TLB).

Immediately preceding Christ’s return to heaven after he had completed his mission here on earth, he commissioned his disciples and followers to preach the gospel to everyone, everywhere.

According to Bible scholars the word for “preach” in the original language can have three different, though somewhat, similar meanings.

The most commonly understood meaning of the word preach means “to cry as a herald.” That is, to proclaim earnestly through the spoken word God’s message of salvation. Generally speaking, this is the work of pastors, ministers, and evangelists. They are usually a small percentage of church members.

Many may say, “This doesn’t include me because I’m certainly not a preacher.”

Another meaning means “to teach” the gospel. As a general rule there are usually more teachers in any group than there are preachers. Still some would say, but I don’t have the gift of teaching, so Jesus’ injunction to preach the gospel to everyone doesn’t include me.

However, the third meaning of the word preach is a very interesting one. And I don’t know anybody who doesn’t have this gift. It simply means “to gossip the gospel.” That is, to simply talk about it … or to share what the Lord has done for you.

So Jesus Christ’s commission to preach the good news of the gospel to everyone, everywhere, includes every Christian. We need to communicate it first of all through our life so that people seeing Jesus in us, will want him in their life as well. And then we need to “tell” the gospel message using the gifts that God has given to each of us — either through preaching, teaching, or simply gossiping the gospel.

Suggested prayer:

“Dear God, please help me to be “as Christ” and communicate your love to every life I touch. And please give me opportunities to tell others what you have done for me in a natural way according to the gifts you have given to me. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

“You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.”

Every time a soldier dies in battle, it's a tragedy. It doesn't matter how just or unjust we might think the war is or which side he's on. It's still a tragedy. But if there are degrees of tragic, then there's one kind of battlefield death that seems the most heartbreaking of all. They call it “friendly fire” - when you accidentally shoot or bomb your own fellow-soldiers. In the Civil War, General Stonewall Jackson was killed accidentally by his own men - “friendly fire.” In Vietnam, in Iraq, probably in every modern war, it's always an awful tragedy when one of your own is brought down by a weapon you fired.

Well, I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about “The Ultimate Battlefield Tragedy.”

God is a Father who has had all too many of His children brought down by “friendly fire,” and He must grieve over it. In churches, in ministries, in families, in youth groups, in relationships, there are way too many bullets fired at one of our own instead of at the real enemy from hell who seeks to destroy us. Would you open your heart to this possibility? Could it be that you have been taking shots at a fellow-soldier in God's army, a brother or sister in Christ - someone Jesus gave His life to save?

It happened to two women who had served on the spiritual front lines with the Apostle Paul. They had the unusual names of Euodia and Syntyche. Don't blame me. Blame their parents. I remember one Bible teacher who used to refer to them as Euodious and Stinky. Well, let's not go there, but let's go to our word for today from the Word of God in Philippians 4:2-3. Paul says, “I plead with Euodia and Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the Gospel ... whose names are in the book of life.”

The great apostle is almost on his knees begging here for these two women, who used to fight together for the lives of lost people, to stop fighting with each other. Somewhere along the way, something came up that made these two warriors take their eye off the ball. And they started shooting at each other, acting as if she's the enemy instead of the prince of darkness. Satan loves nothing more than to see Christians doing his work for him ... wounding a child of God, discouraging a child of God, damaging the reputation of another child of God, distracting and derailing someone who could be making a difference in the battle.

In combat, a soldier is crushed when he realizes he has wounded one of his own. But often among believers, we feel like we've done a good thing by bringing down that brother or sister, a righteous thing - they deserve it, after all. But none of us has the right to shoot at someone who's been purchased with the same blood of Christ we have. Believers shooting at each other - few things are more damaging to the cause of Christ, more discouraging to our young people, more disillusioning to unbelievers, and more heartbreaking to Jesus.

Hudson Taylor's successor in the leadership of China Inland Mission knew how mission critical it is to fight the right battle and the right enemy. He said, “I will not send a person to the mission field unless he has learned to wrestle with the evil one. If he has not learned to wrestle with the evil one, he will wrestle with his fellow missionaries.”

Your brother, your sister - they're not the real enemy. And wrestling with them isn't the real battle. Don't waste any more bullets on one of your own. In the army of God, “friendly fire” is not only the ultimate tragedy, it is an enemy victory.

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Copyright © Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc., PO Box 400, Harrison, AR 72602. Used by permission. Written by Ron Hutchcraft. "Practical Answers to Real Life Issues"

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