58 Sermon Illustrations on Speech

The heights and recesses of Mount Taurus are said to be much infested with eagles, who are never better pleased than when they pick the bones of a crane. Cranes are prone to chatter and make a noise (Isaiah 38:14) and particularly so while they are flying. The sound of their voices arouses the eagles, who spring up at the signal, and often make the talkative travelers pay dearly for their chattering. The older and more experienced cranes, sensible of their besetting weakness, and the peril to which it exposes them, take care before venturing on the wing to pick up a stone large enough to fill the cavity of their mouths, and consequently to impose silence on their tongues, and thus they escape the danger.

Burridge was visited by a very talkative young lady, who engrossed all the conversation with small talk concerning herself. When she arose to retire, he said: “Madam, before you withdraw, I have one piece of advice to give you; when you go into company again, after you have talked half an hour without intermission, stop a while, and see if any other of the company has anything to say.”

When Handel's oratorio of the "Messiah" had won the admiration of many of the great, Lord Kinnoul took occasion to pay him some compliments on the noble entertainment which he had lately given the town. "My lord," said Handel, "I should be sorry if I only entertained them; I wish to make them better." It is to be feared that many speech-makers at public meetings could not say as much; and yet how dare any of us waste the time of our fellow immortals in mere amusing talk! If we have nothing to speak to edification, how much better to hold our tongue!

To have an overwhelming flow of words is one thing; to have a large vocabulary is another; and very often Swinburne’s torrent of speech reminds us not so much of a natural fountain whose springs are deep and abundant, as of an artificial fountain, which is always ready to shoot aloft its glittering spray, and always reabsorbs itself for some further service; so that while the fashion of the jet may differ, the water is pretty much the same.--W. J. DAWSON, “The Makers of English Poetry.”

Compare the golden oriole, swinging in the sunshine, and filling the house with flashing melodies, with the infant, moaning in his yet inarticulate speech, that lies beneath! The bird was made for enjoyment first; for work, subordinately. The infant was created for an enjoyment to be realized through fervent operation. The bird has a beauty of the Mind which created him. The gloss upon his breast, and the brilliance on his wings, were put there by God’s pencil. His gushing song warbles a tribute to Him who gave him power to sing. But the child has a struggling capacity within him, as much grander than this as the spiritual and divine are always grander than the physical. He hath in his being the germs of speech. And speech can represent the most delicate feeling. It can set forth the mightiest process of thought. It can furnish an image for all that is conceived. It can take up and interpret the very thoughts of the infinite, translating them into language for the immortals to hear.

— RICHARD S. STORRS

John Wesley believed in the people, and one of the chief secrets of his success lay in his power to learn from the masses how to speak to them and influence them. On one occasion he was walking with his scarcely less famous brother, Charles Wesley, the hymn-writer, in a humble street in London, when they came face to face with a crowd of fishwomen who were in a row, and were cursing and swearing in a most excited fashion. Charles Wesley, more timid than his brother, turned to John and said: “Brother, let us go up this other street and escape from this mob.” But John Wesley thought Charles needed more contact with the people, and taking him by both shoulders faced around toward the quarreling women, saying, “You stand there, Charles Wesley, and learn how to preach!”--_Everybody’s Magazine._

Would not the world be benefited by the surgery suggested in the following anecdote:

An old lady of his flock once called upon Dr. John Gill, a London preacher, with a grievance. The doctor’s neckbands were too long for her ideas of ministerial humility, and after a long harangue on the sin of pride, she intimated that she had brought a pair of scissors with her, and would be pleased if her dear pastor would permit her to cut them down to her notions of propriety.

The doctor not only listened patiently, but handed over the offending white bands to be operated upon. When she had cut them to her satisfaction and returned the bits, it was the doctor’s turn. “Now,” said he, “you must do me a good turn also.” “Yes, that I will, doctor. What can it be?” “Well, you have something about you which is a deal too long and which causes me no end of trouble, and I should like to see it shorter.” “Indeed, dear sir, I will not hesitate. What is it? Here are the scissors; use them as you please.” “Come then,” said the sturdy divine; “good sister, put out your tongue.” (Text.)--_Tit-Bits._

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The words of James (3:8) about the “deadly poison” of the tongue when “set on fire of hell” are called to mind by the following caution:

You may keep your feet from slipping, And your hands from evil deeds, But to guard your tongue from tripping, What unceasing care it needs! Be you old or be you young, Oh, beware, Take good care, Of the tittle-tattle, tell-tale tongue!

Words can hurt. (extensive use of Ephesians 4)

1. A Christian's communication.

2. Speak no evil.

a. negativity (sarcasm, defeatism)

b. gossip

3. Four characteristics of Christian words:

a. Good.

b. Constructive. (example of Dr. William Barclay.)

c. Appropriate. (knowing when to speak is more important than what)

Especially important in times of grief.

Warm touch more important than words.

d. Gracious.

Summary of word "grace"

4. Revolutionary Communication.

Language rooted in love.

[See #30708 for concrete examples of destructive\constructive words.]

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STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES . . .

BUT WORDS CAN HURT — OR, UNDER CHRIST’S CONTROL, THEY CAN BRING HEALING GRACE.

By Jerry Harvill

They sat in front of me at the restaurant, a picture of relational despair. Their body language told the whole story: she leaned toward him with swollen, desperate eyes, pleading in urgent tones; he stretched backwards, almost horizontal, avoiding eye contact and sulking in dark silence. As I watched the anguish in her face, I couldn’t help thinking how inaccurate the child’s ditty is that says, “words can never hurt me!”

Despite technological miracles in communication, one of the most characteristic diseases of modern life is loneliness. Never have so many people experienced so much communication, yet so little contact. Evidence of this can be seen in Shere Hite’s controversial new study, WOMEN AND LOVE, A CULTURAL REVOLUTION IN PROGRESS, in which she claims that ninety-eight percent of today’s women wish for more verbal closeness with their male partners, and that the most frequently cited cause of women’s anger in relationships today is that “he doesn’t listen.”

Every person has an urgent need for communication that goes beyond empty words. We all crave conversation that is more than trivia; we all hunger for truth, for inclusion, and for affection. But in an age of image makers and of communication hype, an age distinguished by political double-talk and religious phonies, has our innocence been so shattered that we can no longer believe in words or trust talk again?

A CHRISTIAN’S COMMUNICATION

The Epistle to the Ephesians has very practical things to say concerning today’s communication crisis. Of special interest is the section Ephesians 4:29–5:2, where Paul focuses on the believer’s speech in terms of its truth, its tone, and its motivation. The message in Ephesians is that our crisis is not so much a crisis of speech as a crisis of speakers, that to radically change contemporary language we must change contemporary loyalties.

In the second main section of the Epistle, which begins at Ephesians 4, Paul emphasizes in practical, earthy tones the characteristics of the calling issued to Christians by God: It is a call to walk worthily (Ephesians 4:1–16), and also a call to walk differently from those not in Christ (Ephesians 4:17–24). Paul goes on to explain that the Christian’s calling from God also means walking in love (Ephesians 4:25–5:2). In the apostle’s view, the Christian’s love changes the Christian’s language:

Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you with all malice and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. — Ephesians 4:2–5:2, RSV

SPEAK NO EVIL

Paul teaches that Christian communication must radically cut out certain talk: “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths” (Ephesians 4:29). The word for “evil talk” in this verse denotes literally what is rotten, putrid, or corrupt. Applied to language and relationships, it points to words that spoil relationships, poison another’s influence, or corrupt another’s character.

How often do we verbally poison those to whom we would not think of giving a toxic substance? Consider, for example, the poison of negativity, in the forms of sarcasm or just plain defeatism. How subtly parents poison their children’s confidence and imaginations by being perpetual wet blankets on their youngsters’ dreams! How effectively employers spoil employees’ creativity by meeting every new idea with, “That can’t work here!”

But probably the most common form of evil talk is trading gossip. When our words soil someone else’s reputation or worth, or when our stories attract attention to others’ failures and weaknesses, we’re using language that is out of place on Christian lips. But no matter what form bad mouthing takes, Paul makes it clear that God’s children are meant for better things.

But there is more to Christian communication than negative purity. A vocabulary emptied of evil remains an empty vocabulary until it is filled with good. Therefore, Paul spells out four characteristics of Christian words: “such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

GOOD WORDS

According to the Apostle Paul, the broadest feature of Christian words is that they are good words. Only conversation that has the quality of goodness is appropriate for God’s children. Broad as this criterion is, it’s a useful test to apply before we speak: Is what I’m about to say truly good? As an old Quaker used to say, “Never break the silence unless you can improve on it.”

Scripture says that only One is truly good (Mark 10:18), and that He is the source of every good in life (James 1:17). We know what good is by reference to Him. The “word of God” became flesh and entered history in the person of Jesus Christ (John 1:1–14), so that when we wonder what God is like, what goodness is, we can think of Jesus. To put it simply, good words are those words suitable for the mouth of Jesus.

Years ago a wise mentor gave me sound advice about conversation topics. As he put it, there are three classes of intellect, ranging from low to high, and those three calibers of mind correlate to three tastes in conversation. At the lowest level are those who delight in talking about people. At the next level are those whose conversation centers on events. And the highest level are those minds attracted to great and noble ideas.

That advice has stuck with me over the years, and it convicts me now as I reflect on the times I’ve neglected it. The plain truth is that goodness is a nonnegotiable baseline for those who would speak as children of God.

CONSTRUCTIVE WORDS

According to Paul, Christian words are not only good, they are good for something: “good for edifying” (Ephesians 4:29). The term here literally means, “good for building up,” or “good for improvement.”

We have an English idiom that captures this idea in our notion of constructive comments. Each of us knows instantly when someone’s comments are constructive or not. Often it depends not so much on what is said as the way it is spoken.

Whenever I think of constructive words, I think of my teacher at the University of Glasgow, the late Dr. William Barclay. When I began my graduate studies under him in 1972, I was a brassy young minister from a staunchly fundamentalist background. In my circles, aggressive religious debate was not only permitted, it was the path to status! Everyone I heard and everyone I read was a target for my rebuttals since, for me, it was a faith issue to leave no error unchallenged.

That first year was a war. Dr. Barclay, who was scarcely conservative, much less fundamentalist, patiently endured my reactionism, returning each of my research papers covered with red ink. With a kind but firm spirit he would write in the margins, “Good point, but have you considered . . .” and then he would point out a book or author or argument I’d never heard of. When we talked, he often would say, “Of course, you’re aware that . . .” or “I’m sure you’re familiar with so-and-so . . .” In those gentle ways he confronted me with my ignorance, while at the same time affirming my potential.

After about a year of theological gauntlet throwing I went to Dr. Barclay’s office for a conference. I had asked God to create a new spirit in me. I thanked Dr. Barclay for his patience with me, and for his tolerance of my insecurities, and I told him I hoped he wasn’t offended by my disagreements with him.

I can still see him as he leaned forward across his desk, piled high with his own research, and said with a twinkle in his Scottish eye, “I know this hasn’t been easy for you. This has been a hard year, but you’ve grown through it. I believe the better you get to know me, the better you’ll know three things about me.

“First, nobody loves a good debate more than I. Second, nobody dislikes more than I students who merely swallow everything I say. Third, nobody desires more than I that you keep your strong convictions. But I want you always to earn the right to disagree by first giving to every man a fair and honest hearing.”

During my years at Glasgow I did, indeed, learn that those three things were true of him. But most of all, I learned what a difference it makes when a teacher creates a positive climate in which students feel valued. Dr. Barclay is gone now, but his influence isn’t. His reproof and correction always left me feeling, I’M CAPABLE OF BETTER WORK THAN THAT, because his criticism left me with a sense of my strengths rather than of my weaknesses. Dr. Barclay’s words were always constructive, or, in the Apostle Paul’s terms, “good for edifying.”

APPROPRIATE WORDS

In the third place, Paul insists that Christian words are appropriate and timely words, in the sense that they “fit the occasion” (Ephesians 4:29). It is possible to offer good words, even edifying words, which nevertheless are not genuinely helpful for the needs of the moment.

Knowing just what to say, and just how to say it, is never easy, but it is the Christian communicator’s ideal. As today’s gospel on legs, God’s voice to our generation, we must recognize how crucial rhythm and timing are to our speech.

So often the problem of knowing what to say is less a problem of what than of when. We get the message right, it’s just sent at the wrong time.

The solution is to get more in touch with God’s seasons. These seasons are not so much external as they are heart-times. As one ancient poet put it,

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die . . .

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance.

— Ecclesiastes 3:1–4

I know how easy it is to blow right past this responsibility to speak timely words, and to neglect it in the names of honesty, candor, and truth. My motto as a young minister was from 2 Tim. 4:2, “Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage.” I always loved that rebuking part!

It was only in later years that I discovered a crucial omission in my motto. The last portion of Paul’s statement to Timothy in that verse is, “with great patience and careful instruction.” That call to patience is a charge to adjust to God’s seasons and to temper our rebuking with longsuffering.

Perhaps the toughest times in which to speak words that “fit the occasion” are times of great grief and sorrow. I know people who will not visit friends or even relatives in the hospital because they feel they don’t know what to say. In their view, it’s better to say nothing than to risk saying the wrong thing.

I believe this is a profound mistake, for at least two reasons. The first is that because of the nature of interpersonal relationships, it is impossible not to communicate. Your absence at the bedside is itself communicating something. In relationships the issue is never to communicate or not to communicate, but always WHAT KIND of communication to offer. Something is going to be heard, and it may be false and distorted inferences.

The second reason it is a mistake to remain silent is that often what is needed most in difficult circumstances is not talk but a warm touch. A generous hug can be poetry in motion to those who are afraid or brokenhearted. In some situations the most eloquent words are not words at all, but rather the simple vigil of your presence.

I remember a crisis years ago in Ames, Iowa, that changed my life. It was my second church, and I was green and insecure. Funerals were my biggest fear. What would I say? How would I find just the right words of comfort?

Then an early morning car crash on a foggy rural highway left one of our finest young fathers dead. George left behind two small children, a new baby, a young wife, a blossoming career as a nuclear physicist, and a church full of close friends who were stunned and grieving.

As I drove to the house to comfort the widow, I ached over what to say to her and the others. I prayed that the Lord would help me to find the right words. He heard those prayers, and answered them — but not in the way I expected. When I walked into the room where the young widow sat, the grief in the air was so heavy it took my breath away, and with it, all my glib platitudes. As our eyes met, the burden of her loss was so visible on her face that words became a mockery. All we could do was hug each other and cry together.

But that was some of the best “preaching” I’ve ever done. And it taught me that a lot of our worry over finding the right words in times of crisis is misguided.

Love has many tongues. It speaks through a touch, a tear, a silent vigil. Therefore, don’t discount yourself because you’re not eloquent. If you can give a hug or a shoulder to cry on, if you can laugh or listen, you can create music for the brokenhearted. I have learned that what best “fits the occasion” is not what is slick and facile, but what comes from the heart.

GRACIOUS WORDS

Paul’s fourth stroke in his portrait of Christian words is that speech must be gracious, “that it may impart grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

Grace is virtually a one-word summary of Paul’s gospel. CHARIS, the Greek word for GRACE, is a derivative of CHAIRO, “to rejoice,” and connotes that which created joy in either the hearer or the observer.

In its Christian usage, CHARIS has special focus on the grace of God. The key to its meaning in Scripture is not simply that it points to joy that comes from God, but that it means UNEARNED favor from God. In Paul’s teaching, therefore, CHARIS is contrasted with MISTHOS (reward), so that the true counterpoint to divine election, for example, is not damnation, but payment, or reward. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8–9; cf. Romans 3:27–31). To put it simply, at the heart of grace in Scripture is the idea of receiving what one does not deserve.

Words that “impart grace to those who hear,” therefore, are words that are concerned not with what others deserve or have a right to, but with what others need. Grace-talk takes many forms. Indeed, as with the other criteria in Paul’s list, the category of gracious words has less to do with vocabulary lists than with attitudes of the heart.

I am aware how maudlin all this sounds in a culture where rights function as battle lines and a lawyer for every 350 Americans makes us the most litigious society on earth. In such an atmosphere gracious words may seem like the language of wimps.

But grace-talk is not the language of wimps, but of winners. I disagree with the notion that in relationships victory goes to those who demand their rights. In my experience, the times of greatest peril in my relationships have been those periods when I have been most preoccupied with guarding my own interests.

The human personality, as Sidney Harris has pointed out, it is not an apple that has to be polished, but a banana that has to be peeled. And the reason we remain so far from one another, the reason we neither communicate nor interact in any real way, is that most of us spend our lives in polishing rather than peeling. We shine the surface: appearance, clothes, manners, charisma. Our focus is on selling the package, not the product. It takes courage and strength to love, to risk, to be vulnerable to the peeling process of authentic self-disclosure and discovery. In today’s culture, the wimp is the relational Scrooge who is too afraid to risk.

That is why perhaps the greatest form of grace-talk we may practice today is the simple phrase, “Will you forgive me?” Built into this almost miraculous formula is grace as a gift of forgiveness that is beyond our human capabilities, plus an awareness of the shared ground for all forgiving: the undeserved forgiveness we have received.

The beginning of most human rifts that sabotage relationships is what John Powell, in THE SECRET OF STAYING IN LOVE, calls “wounded spirits.” For example, I say something that hurts you, and you are crushed. Often, you do not tell me about your pain, but instead retaliate, which soon escalates a back-and-forth contest of getting even. When this happens, says Powell, “the lines of communication are down, the relationship is bleeding and there is a great need for healing.” This is where the acknowledged need for forgiveness, both given and received, becomes a balm of healing. The grace to forgive affirms our worth while it cements our bonds.

Gracious words are concerned with words as gifts, not payments. It may be true that men are “pigs,” or that women are “ruthless,” and that neither deserves the other’s love. But that’s the whole point of grace, and the difference between Christian words and secular ideas of communication. Grace-talk is the Christian’s way of spreading around God’s undeserved gift of forgiveness; it is our way of passing on our experience of the Word of Life by translating it into words of love.

REVOLUTIONARY COMMUNICATION

Frederick Williams, in his book THE COMMUNICATIONS REVOLUTION, observes that we’re living in an age in which communication has been radically altered. There’s no turning back; no way to time-warp back to leisurely days full of the art of conversation, to past innocence when a promise was all the contract one needed and when no news was good news. Today, whatever our options, we cannot avoid communicating.

The Christian can bring an old solution to the contemporary communication crisis: language rooted in love. Instead of using our words to destroy, like the couple I witnessed in the restaurant, our communication can bring light and truth to the dark world around us. As believers, we can create a counter-revolution with words that are good, that are constructive, that are appropriate and timely, and that bring unearned joy to the hearers. Simply put, the Christian perspective on communication is that because of the Cross, love changes our language.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jerry Harvill teaches speech communication at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, Kentucky.

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#267

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In one of his books, William Hordern tells a story about a woman touring in Europe, who cabled her husband: "Have found wonderful bracelet. Price seventy-five thousand dollars. May I buy it?" The husband promptly cabled back, "No, price too high." The cable operator in transmitting the message, missed the signal for the comma. The woman received a message which read, "No price too high." She bought the bracelet; the husband sued the company and won.

Can you translate these familiar lines?

1. Scintillate, scintillate, sterioid minific.

2. Members of an ovian species of identifical plumage congregate.

3. Surveillance should precede saltation.

4. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

5. It is fruitless to become lacrymose over precipitately departed lactate fluid.

6. Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

7. The stylus is more potent than the claymore.

8. It is fruitless to attempt to indocrinate a super-annuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

9. Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.

10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Farenheit.

11. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

12. Where there are visible vapors having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

13. Sorting on the part mendicants must be interdicted.

14. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiate the potable concotion produced by steeping certain comestibles.

15. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.

16. Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.

17. Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.

18. Neophyte's serendipity.

19. Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.

20. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a small, brophytic plant.

21. Abstention from any aleatory undertakings precludes a potential escalation of a lucrative nature.

22. Missiles of ligneous or pterous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structures, but appelations will eternally remain innocuous.

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a resaurant if he could use a million frog legs. Naturally, being rather shocked,he asked the farmer where he could get so many. The farmer replied, "There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs. They croak night and day and are about to drive me crazy." Finally an agreement was made for the farmer to bring several hundred frog's legs in the following week.

A week later, the farmer returned, looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny, little frogs. He told the proprietor, "I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in that whole pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise."

LESSION: The next time you hear someone criticizing the elders, the preacher, some member or members, remember the story. It is probably no more than a couple of chronic grouches.

Interesting book appeared several years ago--Robt. McElvain, THE END OF THE CONSERVATIVE ERA: LIBERALISM AFTER REAGAN, instructs politicians to be careful about the words they use. For example Liberals should avoid the word liberal, substituting "progressive" instead because only 12-23% of Americans react negatively to it. He says: "There's a great opening here for liberal leadership that would speak of values and offer hope and not talk about problems and limits all the time." In other words--be vague! Don't talk about abortion--woman's right to choose; don't talk about homosexuality--alternative lifestyles. A person of integrity does not hide behind words.

The practice of scratching obscenities, boasts, and invitations on walls in public restrooms has been going on for as long as there have been public restrooms. Even the excavated walls of Pompeii--The Roman city covered by lava and ash from an eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in the 1st century--were scrawled with unprintable "gems."

This is WISDOM, maids and men:

Knowing what to say and when.

Artists with the master touch

Never use one word too much.

Jesus preaching on the Mount

Made His every sentence count.

Lincoln's Gettysburg address

Needs not one word more or less.

This is WISDOM, maids and men:

Knowing what to say and when.

- Anonymous

In a remote English country church cemetery there's an old, gray tombstone. The epitaph reads: "Beneath this stone a lump of clay; Lies Arabella Young; Who on the 24th day of May; Finally began to hold her tongue."

A young man asked the Greek philosopher Socrates to teach him the skill of oratory. Upon meeting the famous teacher, the young man began to talk and kept up a constant stream of words for some time. "Young man," Socrates finally interrupted, "I will have to charge you a double fee." 'Why?" the young man asked. "Because I must teach you two sciences," Socrates replied-'first, how to hold your tongue, and then how to use it.' As Christians, we should pray that the Lord will deliver us from all idle words and give us positive, uplifting speech that will bring honor and glory to his kingdom.

Johannes Brahms is known to most of us as the composer who gave us beautiful lullabies and tranquil music heard in our youth. Tragically, however, Brahms was a man with a sharp tongue and few friends among his contemporaries.

On one occasion a young composer came to Brahms and asked, "Have you heard my last composition, maestro?" "I certainly hope so!" was Brahms rejoinder.

We laugh or echo a quiet chuckle when we hear stories such as these, but barbed retorts and biting satire have no place in the heart of a true child of God.

James warns us about the dangers of the tongue when he writes, "...the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell" (James 3:5-6).

We may not mean harm when we fire back at someone with a witty retort, but how many times have we regretted statements made in haste? How often are friendships bruised and loved ones offended by a single idle word?

As a child growing up my mother always impressed upon me the importance of saying kind things about others. Like Thumper's mother in the movie BAMBI, "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all."

--Southern Hills church of Christ, Franklin, TN

On a plane flying in from Chicago, two elderly women said to the

stewardess, "Will you please ask the pilot not to fly faster than

sound? You see, we would like to talk."

Ten Commandments For The Tongue

(1) Thou shalt not gossip. (Prov 18:8). Before any evil story whispered in the ear is passed on, it should be treated as the housewife treats apples for a pie ...first peeled, then quartered, and cored, then what remains liberally sugared.

(2) Thou shalt not use a multitude of empty words. (Prov. 10:19). Your tongue reveals the nature of your thinking and your character. The divine Master Himself admonishes the children of men to "let your admonishes be yea, yea, nay, nay, for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil."

(3) Thou shalt not boast. (Prov. 27:2) A small man makes long, loud boastings in order to centre the spotlight of attention on himself; the great man works quietly, Silently polishing the beacon that it may guide the ship safely into the desired haven.

(4) Thou shalt not flatter. (Prov. 26:28). Someone has said that "Flattery is like soft soap; it is 90% lye" - and you can count on the ratio being just about right. The words of the man or woman who would flatter you, according to the psalmist, who had a great deal of experience with that sort of thing, are "softer than oil, yet withdrawn swords."

(5) Thou shalt not grumble. (Phil. 2:14). The prescription for this malady is to saturate your life with loving kindness. Let it enter every pore and the process will be absolutely foolproof against the gnawing frets and worries that are worse than termites, to eat the soul out of you.

(6) Thou shalt not backbite or slander. (Psalm 64:3) The tongue that backbites or slanders is the weapon that empties churches, pours streams of bickering humans into divorce courts, fills our jails with wretched humanity, and lashes men and woman to Satan's kingdom.

(7) Thou shalt not mock or make fun. (Job 11:3). Let us learn sympathy and give our fellows a helping hand instead of mockery, no matter how peculiar or odd they may be. Remember angels visit the earth in all kinds of guises.

(8) Thou shalt not lie. (Ex. 20:16). The first recorded lie was told in the garden of Eden. Since then, the practice has spread like a plague throughout the whole earth. Everyone hates a lying tongue.

(9) Thou shalt not swear. (Ex. 20:7). Profanity is the official language of the devil's kingdom. Have no part in it for it will disqualify you for heaven.

(10) Thou shalt not argue in anger. (Hosea 7:16). Whatever the provocation is remember that "silence is golden" and that "a soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger" (Prov. 15:11).

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, … his religion is worthless." — James 1:26 — Read: Proverbs 25:11-18

We have a spiritual obligation to think through the impact of the words we say. If we don’t, or if we simply don’t care, we can inflict great harm.

In 1980, Lee Atwater, who later managed the 1988 Bush campaign for President, inflicted terrible emotional pain on a Democratic candidate who was running Congress. When he learned that the candidate had suffered through a severe battle with depression years before and had received electric shock treatments, Atwater released that information to the press.

The candidate was angry and hurt. In anguish, he questioned Atwater’s unfair tactics. Atwater responded that he had no intention of answering a person “hooked up to a jumper cable.”

Not only did he succeed in shamefully humiliating the candidate, but with these cruel words Atwater offended everyone who has ever undergone this type of therapy.

Ten years later, Atwater was hospitalized with an inoperable brain tumor. He lay in bed, hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires and machines. Before he died, he wrote a letter to that South Carolina candidate, apologizing for his horrible statements and begging his forgiveness. He finally realized how much his words must have hurt, so he tried to make it right.

How quickly the harsh and cruel words slip out! They can hit so hard, with the speaker scarcely giving a thought to the damage he is doing until it’s too late. You might as well have been slugged with a baseball bat or run over by a bus. And so often it’s our best friends or families or fellow believers who are slammed the hardest with our words.

Our religion is worthless, James said, if we do not consider the impact of our words (1:26). Ask the Lord Jesus to help you think before you speak! — DE

REFLECTION

* Have I been terribly hurt by someone’s words? What words would I use to describe the feeling?

* How can I become more aware of the impact of my words on people?

* What does James 3:1-12 tell us that an unchecked tongue is like?

Words can hit harder than a baseball bat.

[see HolwickID #5454]

Themes in Proverbs: The Tongue — Verses shown are New American Standard version; look at them in your Bible — « Leader information shown in this fashion »

List the GOOD and the EVIL uses of the tongue on the last page

4:24 Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put devious lips far from you.

10:11-32 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, But the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions. On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found, But a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding. Wise men store up knowledge, But with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand. The rich man’s wealth is his fortress, The ruin of the poor is their poverty. The wages of the righteous is life, The income of the wicked, punishment. He is on the path of life who heeds instruction, But he who forsakes reproof goes astray. He who conceals hatred has lying lips, And he who spreads slander is a fool. When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise. The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver, The heart of the wicked is worth little. The lips of the righteous feed many, But fools die for lack of understanding. It is the blessing of the LORD that makes rich, And He adds no sorrow to it. Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool; And so is wisdom to a man of understanding. What the wicked fears will come upon him, And the desire of the righteous will be granted. When the whirlwind passes, the wicked is no more, But the righteous has an everlasting foundation. Like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, So is the lazy one to those who send him. The fear of the LORD prolongs life, But the years of the wicked will be shortened. The hope of the righteous is gladness, But the expectation of the wicked perishes. The way of the LORD is a stronghold to the upright, But ruin to the workers of iniquity. The righteous will never be shaken, But the wicked will not dwell in the land. The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, But the perverted tongue will be cut out. The lips of the righteous bring forth what is acceptable, But the mouth of the wicked, what is perverted.

12:6 The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, But the mouth of the upright will deliver them.

12:18 There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.

12:22 Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal faithfully are His delight.

13:3 The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

14:3 In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, But the lips of the wise will preserve them.

15:1-7 A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly. The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Watching the evil and the good. A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit. A fool rejects his father’s discipline, But he who regards reproof is prudent. Much wealth is in the house of the righteous, But trouble is in the income of the wicked. The lips of the wise spread knowledge, But the hearts of fools are not so.

15:23 A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!

16:13 Righteous lips are the delight of kings, And he who speaks right is loved.

16:23-24 The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds persuasiveness to his lips. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

16:27 A worthless man digs up evil, While his words are as a scorching fire.

17:4 An evildoer listens to wicked lips, A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.

18:7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin, And his lips are the snare of his soul.

18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

19:1 Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity Than he who is perverse in speech and is a fool.

20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.

21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles.

26:28 A lying tongue hates those it crushes, And a flattering mouth works ruin.

30:32 If you have been foolish in exalting yourself Or if you have plotted evil, put your hand on your mouth.

Good Uses Evil Uses

« You will find it much easier to find the evil uses! Does that suggest anything? Look at the book of James, chapter 3 for more thoughts on this subject. Who is the solution to the problem of our tongues? How can we give the Holy Spirit control over this item? »

Jesus asked Peter, “Who do you say that I am?” Peter responded, “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Jesus told Peter that flesh and blood had not revealed that to him, but our Father in Heaven. Then, just a few seconds later, Peter went from saying the most brilliant thing he’d ever said, to the stupidest. Peter told Jesus he would never let Him die. Jesus responded by saying, “Get behind me, Satan.”

I’ve always thought Jesus was pretty tough on Peter… calling him Satan. (Although I have used that line, a few times, when I was behind someone going for a “Sunday drive” in the fast lane.) But, Christ didn’t call Peter Satan! He was actually talking TO Satan. He was telling Satan to leave Peter alone and get behind Him. By placing Satan BEHIND Himself, Jesus would be BETWEEN Satan and Peter. Jesus always places Himself between Satan and us.

But, the main point is this: When Peter said something brilliant, Jesus gave God the glory. When Peter said something stupid, Jesus told Satan to leave Peter alone and get behind Him.

So remember… You don’t get the credit for all your brilliance… and you don’t get the blame for all your blunders.

British factory worker and his wife were excited when, after many years of marriage, they discovered they were going to have their first child. According to author Jill Briscoe, who told this true story, the man eagerly relayed the good news to his fellow workers. He told them God had answered his prayers. But they made fun of him for asking God for a child. When the baby was born, he was diagnosed as having Down's syndrome. As the father made his way to work for the first time after the birth, he wondered how to face his co-workers. "God, please give me wisdom," he prayed. Just as he feared, some said mockingly, "So, God gave you this child!" The new father stood for a long time, silently asking God for help. At last he said, "I'm glad the Lord gave this child to me and not to you."

Can you translate these familiar lines?

1. Scintillate, scintillate, sterioid minific.

2. Members of an ovian species of identifical plumage congregate.

3. Surveillance should precede saltation.

4. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

5. It is fruitless to become lacrymose over precipitately departed lactate fluid.

6. Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

7. The stylus is more potent than the claymore.

8. It is fruitless to attempt to indocrinate a super-annuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

9. Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.

10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Farenheit.

11. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

12. Where there are visible vapors having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

13. Sorting on the part mendicants must be interdicted.

14. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiate the potable concotion produced by steeping certain comestibles.

15. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.

16. Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.

17. Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.

18. Neophyte's serendipity.

19. Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.

20. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a small, brophytic plant.

21. Abstention from any aleatory undertakings precludes a potential escalation of a lucrative nature.

22. Missiles of ligneous or pterous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structures, but appelations will eternally remain innocuous.